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Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.


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Pushing Yang over Yin energy for power: feminism swirling out of balance, part 2

How feminism went awry.

I perceive men and women to be two aspects to a whole; that masculine and feminine (yang and yin) energy create a wholeness within each being, and together for partnering.  As with many species the masculine and feminine aspects of the whole are different due to what roles each take within the milieu of the species, and this also varies for each human. So that men and women, each, are comprised of masculine and feminine aspects, for Jung that is like anima and animus within each man and woman, or from the Taoist and Confucian traditions yang and yin.

Feminism would have been better to focus on the concept of equity. So that if a woman was built such that she could carry a gun and fight in a war she could/would have the opportunity to do so..and be paid equally, and if a woman chose to care for her children enter and leave the workforce, her choices, would be supported and honored by the feminist movement.

Women (and Men) supporting all women’s choices increasing the opportunities that were available to women would have been a more fruitful role of the feminist movement.

Instead the leaders and proponents of feminism created a hierarchy of what was acceptable and honored by feminists. What feminism did was demoralize and put down women who chose to do work that the feminist movement was working against, while uplifting the kind of work that was seen as important (an example of this was the attacks on mrs Romney and mrs bush in the media, and by feminists in general, or at least the complete ignoring of how these women were demoralized by the media– ie: treating mrs Romney like she had no value in her opinion because she had ‘never worked’ because ‘all she did was run the household, and raise four or five children on her own, while her husband was working outside the home’).

This lack of outrage, when women who were choosing to take roles that were not supported by feminist theory were attacked, is a form of control.  It is a yang style of controlling the message of what being a strong woman is as well as educating the younger generation of women to direct them into specific action, or be left alone without the support of the group (feminists).

This style of control is yang in nature.  And the activities supported by the feminist movement values Yang energy and yang roles (aggressive, and pushing up and out energy) over Yin energy and yin roles (caregiving, creative from within, concretizing and supporting energy).  Yang is masculine.  Yin is feminine.  For balance both are required.  Focus on one over another results in imbalance.

This is the masculinization of femininity through feminism -> feminists putting down traditional roles and defining what roles were valuable… Focussing on developing yang aspects of femininity over the yin aspects — therefore making yang more valuable than yin. This has negatively affected the whole balance of the species and society.

I see this most starkly with reference to parenting and to a lesser extent on the arguments for abortion at any time for any reason.

The issue of parenting, childrearing and leading through caregiving and passage of culture to children through childrearing is a most powerful and positive role that had been generally embraced by women.  Today’s feminists, and the feminists of the nineties through the millennium, have so aligned with the power potential through the yang aspects of power that they have essentially discarded this role.  Some say this is in the effort to get women to be taken seriously in the workforce; others more privately report they remember their mothers were not taken seriously or did not have the freedom and power of their gender counterparts and so these women have simply dissected that role from their repertoire of roles.

If, the Feminist focus was on equally representing the value of parenting, running the home- which is like a CEO of a company- even the vast work involved in the running of the many charities that women who are not working outside the home participate in and develop, then it would have increased the value in childbearing, and the recognition that childrearing imparts the beliefs and values of society —

This is the reason that in countries where women are truly repressed, through control of their bodies, highly limited freedom, and the lack of education, the women are unable to effect a positive role in the upbringing of the children and so unable to create a shift away from the demoralization of women in those countries. In America where women have much more freedom, access to education, and greater choice in how they choose to partner, work and live…and thus the ability to create change as part of a group, (which feminism could have offered to women),  we have diminished the importance of education, childrearing, charity work, community work and many yin aspects of negotiation, collaboration, compassion, and finding ways to not compete but to strengthen through collaborative work – valuing all parts of the whole not just the winner/ yang aspect.

Feminism has let whole generations down in the out of control focus on yang energy and the masculinization of the feminine.

The focus on individuality- increasing a women’s ‘power’ to have the same ‘rights’ as a man to be free to do whatever she wants, has left no one to help to create the fabric of community which is often the feminine yin role. And it has most negatively affected yin capacities in the social network… Education childrearing, compassion, collaboration.

Competition, power-over in a hierarchical fashion– ever moving upward – all yang aspects are the stronger focus– and many of the civil rights issues of today (not of the sixties for black Americans) are about being accomplished primarily through the very actions that the victimized group is saying shouldn’t be done… This is not transcending the problem to actually uplevel. That was the beauty of Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi, they transcended the anger and the hatred to connect at the human level. They did not attack the perpetrators, but really acted in the way they were requesting of others to act toward their cause.

This is what feminism could do but not what feminism has done.  That’s why I call feminism the masculinization of femininity.

Here is an example of feminism in action, young women ostracizing, dismissing, and labeling – saying on one hand that everyone is welcome, and that tolerance of all was paramount, but their specific actions were to be exclusive and not even allow a young woman to speak, based on a label.  

Transcending the problem incorporating yin and yang elements to balance would have resulted in an elevation of consciousness wherein women are not discriminated against nor are children or men. To see how children are being harmed by this course of focus by the feminist movement read part 3 of this series. in love and light, bg


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Mind reading 101

 

Ever hear from your partner,

do you expect me to be a mind-reader?’

Well, the truth is

Yes you do!

Why?  

Because if your partner really paid attention then he or she would know what you want in the relationship.

Using your full capacity to listen, and pay attention results in the other person feeling seen, loved and understood. This article is about mind-reading 101.

Mind reading…. 101.  It’s really about being mindful and observant, like a mentalist, which will look and feel like you have esp.  When you pay attention with all your senses and mindfulness you can really understand your partner.  And, when you feel heard by someone else you feel real and loved.

Kahlil Gibran references this in his poem book, The Prophet (1923, 1978, 1984).  Which is an oft-quoted book at marriage ceremonies.

Thich Nhat Hanh’s Mindfulness book, Peace Is Every Step (1991, Bantam Books, New York), offers insight:

“Darling do I understand you enough? Or am I making you suffer?Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly…..”  Real Love, pg 80.

“Love is a mind that brings peace, joy,and happiness to another person.  ….The essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves ‘inside the skin’ of the other.  We ‘go inside’ their body, feelings, and mental formations, and witness for ourselves their suffering.  Shallow observation as an outsider is not enough to see their suffering. …When we are in contact with another’s suffering, a feeling of compassion is born in us.  Compassion means, literally, ‘to suffer with’.

…” Meditation on Compassion, pg 81, 82.

To develop this quality in yourself, follow these 6 easy steps.

  1. Know yourself.  Develop your understanding of your wants, your strengths, and limitations.  Once you know where you are you can allow yourself to feel trust and then open to your partner’s needs, wants, and perspectives. Knowing yourself allows you to connect with other’s and see not only your own perspective but that of another.
  2. Open your heart.  From an open heart you can hear through defensiveness.  From an open heart you are able to practice compassion and loving paradigm shifting.  Think duck, bunnyimagesB paradigm shifting – both are real/true/accurate, just different perspectives of the same image:
  3. Reset your senses to neutral. This is the idea of choosing to connect rather than be right.  Choosing to remove fight from your vocabulary in order to focus on deflecting negative or attacking energy and going underneath that to the injury or suffering or pain of the other and seeking to create/find understanding and connection.
  4. Observe another’s face, voice/tenor, and gestures. Stop, look, and listen.  Make the connection through observation and clarification.  Pay attention, notice incongruence and seek a way through to a deep understanding and knowing of your partner.
  5. Use yourself as a reflection of your partner. Feel into your own body as a reflection of the other’s heart rate, anxiety, breathing, tension, peace; listen to your inner voice – for something off, something strong, something intuitive.
  6. Speak your feelings and thoughts, use clarification and inquiry from a balanced loving neutral place – not defensive. Reflect what you see as the incongruence.  Deflect/deflate another’s anxious negativity, or look for clarification of how he or she got there… discover what was the preceding action that triggered the anxiety or angry response; feel into yourself and then inquire from your partner, to ascertain what you partner is looking to receive so that he or she feels seen, heard, connected and loved.  Once you understand or get clarity on this information, give it lovingly and without condition.

Your capacity to read another’s mind is directly related to your personal self-knowing and your desire to connect, understand, and paradigm shift.

Meditation, Mindfulness, Removing fight from your vocabulary, and Developing you connection to your internal sensory guidance center are actions that improve your capacity to develop compassion, understanding, and care within you.

Living in this way will elevate your spiritual consciousness and result in deeper, more powerful, and mutually satisfying relationships in all aspects of your life.  in love and light, bg


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Facing Fears, Disarming bullies

Heart pounding in your chest when you look at or think about someone?  It might be love..

or it might be fear.  How you interpret that pounding is context.

To face your fears and disarm the power of bullies you have to shift your interpretation of that pounding from fear requiring flight…..

  • to acknowledgement requiring mindful action…
  • and then to love seeking an opportunity for recognition.

Facing fears is knowing your self and then seeing, understanding, and clarifying how you fit into the situation you are facing.

This is best done, gently and quietly, allowing your heart to guide your actions.

Fears derive from  a lack of knowing…

  • a habit-reaction to another experience that feels similar…
  • control or mis-allocation of energy toward protection…
  •  mis-understandings.. of yourself and expectations, or  of another and expectations (or both)
  • an inappropriate paradigm that doesn’t take into account the whole picture of ‘what is’.

Love is indeed the best treatment for fear.

But getting from the fear to love can be blocked or feel impossible if you haven’t developed your internal path to grace.

To a lesser degree getting from anger or insecurity to forgiveness and gratitude is also difficult.

These steps can help.

  • Set aside time to discover who you are through breath, meditation, journaling. yoga, and other creative pursuits.
  • Practice using the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, to reset your placement of power august 15, 2012 post four agreements plus one (this strongly diminishes your sense of fear).
  • Set your internal personal goals as paramount for your energy and behavior so that you are not spending oodles of time meeting others expectations but rather directly focusing your energy and resources on what brings you joy.  This returns you to empowerment rather than a sense of smallness and disempowerment. It moves you out of reactivity and into proactivity.
  • Accept that your path to ‘greatness’ doesn’t follow the same path as others and embrace your friends’ successes with the sense that this increases your chance of greatness too (rather than experiencing the sense of competition or limited chances to greatness).
  • Focus love and compassion toward yourself and others.
  • Release the need to prove your point.

Be willing to adjust your position as you receive new information.  Be free to grow, change, and uplevel your understanding and consciousness.

  • Receive criticism from others as if it is coming from someone who deeply and truly loves you, this shifts your receptiveness, because it disallows a sense of defensiveness  – then you can ascertain if there is a grain of truth in it or of no value.

The idea of someone trying to overpower you is co-created.  You and she co-create the drama.  You can disarm the overpowering fear by following these steps.  In most circumstances this will free you to create a different more equally empowering situation.  If it doesn’t, if the other person really wants control, just remember you have free will in how you want to participate.

You cannot engage your free-will when you are in a reactive mode.  Pay attention to what causes reactivity in you. Heal that and you can remove the target from your back for those who are consciously and unconsciously engaging in this fear promoting behavior.

This will free up a huge amount of energy for you to create precisely what your heart desires.

Make real efforts to not act as if you are somehow more evolved than another, that actually is a provocative/bullying tactic. in love and light, bg

front cover.me2we

Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON:  The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013.


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finding your way home

Hello and Welcome!

Your personal sensory guidance system is built within your automated central nervous system.  It uses your five plus one senses:  sight, smell hearing, taste and touch plus your integrated intuition.

You may think, “I don’t have a sensory guidance system” “I feel like I am always directed down the same wrong path”...fair enough…here’s why, you may be caught in a feedback loop that just keeps replaying the same scene, with you taking the same action, over and over.  This is usually a result of some trauma, loss, or injury.bad attitude, flat tire

Once you know that, you create your way out, your free will choice:  you can shift out of that feedback loop by changing your perspective and healing your spirit.

  • A simple shift in focus, release of the weight of trauma or loss, and you can find your way home.
  • The first step to changing your life is to stop doing your habit.

From that centered space you can then make a choice to release… to let go of the habitual way of seeing and doing so that you can connect to your true inner source, your truth.

Once you have released, you can reset how and who you want to be in your balanced state.

Your way home is following a path to graceAllowing your heart to lead, guided by your internal sensory guidance system.

From that interior space all of your movements will be holistically in your best interests and support you and your community shifting from Me to WE.

Change your attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life

front cover.me2we

To find out more about how to Shift away from habits that harm Toward habits that heal you can look into Beth’s groundbreaking book on relationship styles and the insecurity drivers, MAAPS,  at the foundation of ineffective, narcissistic relationships. Find out more about Beth at www.bethgineris.com  You can purchase the Me to We book there at a 30%discount…see the buy beth’s books page.  offered in love and light, bg


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Life Lessons in Relationships, Energy, and Color

Hello and Welcome

A lovely concept of how to shift negative emotions and actions is to focus on each chakra center and apply a system of inversion to the negative feeling housed there.

Begin by recognizing how you may be caught in a negative emotion or action that limits your access to balance, stunts your health, or interferes with your prosperity.

Each energy center –>chakra, corresponds to a negative energy state and the capacity for a positive blossoming energy shift. chakra_location_color

  • Here is a list of how these energies resonate
  • from negativity, imbalance/ to balanced, positive empowerment
  • –> beginning with the first chakra, red:  fear/action;
  • second chakra, orange: isolation/integration;
  • third chakra, yellow: low self-worth/non-judgment;
  • fourth chakra, green: hopelessness/unconditional love;
  • fifth chakra, blue:  negative speech (toward yourself [negative self-talk] or others)/positive speech, affirmations, and compassionate understanding;
  • sixth chakra, indigo:  depression/creativity;
  • and the seventh chakra, violet:  anger/acceptance.

To shift your perspective first discover which energy center appears to be out of balance then apply the positive empowering action to shift the negativity and create balance in that center.  Your first internal response will be a release, a lessening, a flexibility, and a sense of peace.  You will experience a deeper sense of strength and flexibility and an outer sense of lightness and peace.

You can also use the colors to help you resonate with the chakra energy centers.  Using meditation and breathwork breathe into the space in your body that is being stagnated or blocked with the corresponding color to help cleanse out the negativity and re-energize the center.

The spaces that correspond with the chakras begin at the base of your spine, then the area just two inches below your belly button, the third is your solar plexus, just under your ribs at the center of your body, the fourth energy center is on your breastbone between your breasts, the fifth is your throat, the sixth your third eye which is the space between your eyebrows and the seventh is at the top of your head in the center – your crown chakra.

Your first picture of yourself is from your interactions in your family, peers, and lovers.  This idea of reflection being the way in which you see your self is a longstanding tenant in sociology and psychology.

The concept of a mirror reflecting to you your personality and self picture is the earliest style of seeing your true nature.

A deeper style of connecting with self is to have a knowing from within that is separate from the concept of reflection in relationship.  This is related to your personal sensory guidance system.

Over my lifetime I have had the distinct honor of learning about chakra imbalance and balancing through my relationships.

  • When struggling with postpartum depression I learned the valuable lesson of taking action in response to fear…sometimes going toward the source of my fear, actually stepping into that which I was fearing to see through the mindset of fear, into the strength of empowered, responsive action.
  • In my lonely, isolated childhood I learned the power of integration which required dealing with my low-self-worth and the importance of pulling on my non-judgmental posture and a reframing of hopelessness to unconditional love.  These lessons have powered the long positive train of amazing, productive and fulfilling relationships in my life.
  • To shift into mindfulness I endeavored to continually shift my negative speech to positive speech reframing, inverting, and freeing every negative thought like butterflies and wildflowers; from this stance in the world compassion, inner truth and outer prosperity are my constant companions and experiences.
  • In my loneliest times, when I felt deeply bereft I turned to creativity, painting, sculpting, gardening, and writing to allow my grief to spill out and be replaced with strength, renewal, and joy.
  • And finally, that unpleasant and undignified friend anger – through my acceptance I experienced the power of my true self –> the reality of what was became the ground upon which I built a bigger, better, more beautiful Tao.

Discover your inner radiance and rainbow of energy.  Heal yourself through breath, color, and relationship by shifting negativity to prosperity through these active shifts in being and responding in your relationships and within yourself. Namaste, in love and light, bg.


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When What You Believe Matters!

Hello and Welcome!

I am excited to share about a new book out there called I Believe:  When What you Believe Matters! by Eldon Taylor.  What I like about it is that it offers lots of studies and examples of how your beliefs drive what you create.  It has a lot of the great tools found in Esther Hicks’ books but with a scientific component that really brings substance to the material.

Everyone is extolling praises for this book, including famous personalities such as Lindsay Wagner, John Gray, Ph.D., James Van Praagh, Larry Dossey, M.D., and Stanely Krippner, Ph.D.  I know you will find this book valuable, both personally and for your own business.

The information in this book is consistent with the information you find in my writings about the importance of congruence in your thinking and actions and mindfulness.

I Believe: When What You Believe Matters! reveals the importance of choosing your every life belief and the effects these choices have on the quality of your life—, impacting areas that may surprise you in ways you have not thought of. Eldon Taylor even shows how these belief choicepoints can influence how long you will live and how your DNA expresses itself.  Your belief paradigms affect what you will allow yourself to see and hear; each belief effecting many consequences.

He talks about it like  a spider web that continually builds upon itself often trapping us where we don’t want to be.

I hope you get a chance to check out this new book.  It’s got a lot of great stuff in it about how your thinking defines your being. It’s like a type of spiritual sociology.  Enjoy, bg


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Faith vs. Fear

Hello and Welcome

Being a spirit-human, challenges you in the realms of faith and fear.  Fear is what drives your lower chakra survival mentality. Faith is what drives your upper chakra thriving spirit.   This is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid (1954, 1990) and the idea of moving from Me through I to We in how you perceive your power, relationships, and environment.

You see/experience what you believe, and you believe what you see/experience.  Fair enough.

If you feel fear but desire to shift into faith you need to activate your upper chakras and balance your lower chakras.  You can do this through intentional action.  In order to shift your perception, you have to move out of fear-based, survivalistic, limited resources perspective into a joy-based, thriver, perspective of faith.  Faith being the knowing that you will be what you desire if you do not get in your own way with fear.

Faith, love, joy expand your experience; these expand your access to creation in the positive, seeing collaborative solutions, and recognition of your full power.

Fear, hate, and despair limit your experience; these diminish your access to creation in the positive, cloud/impair  your vision, and reduce your recognition of your power and solutions.

Try this simple exercise to feel the difference.

  • frown.
  • breathe shallowly
  • look for every possible negative attribute or impediment to your desire
  • read about the many tragedies and heartbreaks in making changes
  • greet others with a negative attitude certain that they will work against you; redirect yourself to the (-)
  • at the end of 24 hours of this set of actions, note how you feel – you will notice you feel constricted, fearful, small, discouraged, heavy, tired, fatigued, and isolated – you may want to eat sugar, drink alcohol, or pick a fight with our children or partner.

Now, try this simple exercise to feel the difference

  • smile.
  • breathe deeply
  • look for every possible positive action or path to your desire
  • read about the many joyful and heart-filled experiences in making changes
  • greet others with a positive attitude, certain that they will work to your advantage; redirect yourself to the (+)
  • at the end of 24 hours of this set of actions, note how you feel – you will notice an expansion, a sense of courage, feeling bigger, joyful, light, energized, and connected – you may want to eat fruits and vegetables, whole, healthy food, to juice, eat protein, and drink water; you will have more energy to understand our child’s or partner’s needs and feel they are present for you and you are more available to them.

Faith or Fear, the choice is yours.  Albuquerque skies

The outcome is defined by which you choose – which outcome would you prefer to create?  in love and light, bg

Maslow, A.H.  Motivation and Personality. NewYork: Harper, 1954.  Gineris, B. Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness. Charleston, SC: Createspace, 2013.