Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.


the surprising narcissism and arrogance in alternative healers

I came to the field of alternative medicine and healing through a long process of personal discovery and acceptance. Along the way I managed to accumulate a few graduate degrees and many certifications in various energetic medicine treatments. I started out with the desire to be an orthopedic surgeon. I became an energetic healer, integrative medicine practitioner, and a devourer of all kinds of philosophy and spiritual traditions.

My practice and understanding has evolved through a tripod of uncovering my self knowing (information that is true through my experience), education in other belief systems and knowings, and discerning mindfulness. As a result what I think and feel is true or truth is based in the integration and transcendence of all three.

So when I make efforts to assist others in their thinking and to help them with healing, I come at this from a deeply humble place.

What I notice, however, is that many of my peers and a number of well placed individuals in the alternative world do not practice that humility.  Indeed, I notice they display a surprising degree of arrogance and narcissism.

There is an overall intolerance, irritable impatience, and lack of empathetic compassion, in their rhetoric.  Not only do they use the same demeaning, put down tactics that have been applied to them, toward those they identify as less evolved, in addition they have a palpable disdain for them.

This attitude is also applied to those whom they are trying to assist in their consciousness elevation.

Perhaps it comes from a deep inner knowing that they are right in their beliefs.  But after my own experience with this sort of struggle and enlightenment path, through which I became more deeply aware that right/wrong destroys the chance for integrated knowing, it feels more like a power trip then a guide for consciousness evolution.

I see the narcissism and arrogance in negative comments about people in social media. The judgment of others and their beliefs.  Recently, I read a blog from a well-known alternative medicine guide, who was using a dialogue with her equally talented friend to discuss the level of banality of those seeking help.  Perhaps she was trying to lightly chide her queriers to look deeper, but her style of dialogue with her identified enlightened friend sounded more like two gals in a clique making fun of people.   Her premise of clarifying the root of the problem was completely enlightening, but her style of interacting about the issue was distanced, un-empathic, and slightly arrogant.  Perhaps what was off-putting was the two talking about people, joking, laughing, when describing the ways people get off course. In fairness, she may have thought her presentation was joining the ranks and laughing with the people, but it came across as laughing at them, with her underlying tone dismissive and superior.

I was stunned, as she had often been a being that I felt wrote of embracing healing and health with compassion and care. In consideration on her part, it may be that she was feeling frustrated about not being able to get people to understand the importance of her message and so was simply reacting.

I have a lot of training, a lot of education.  I have been in the trenches of helping people change for over twenty years.  At times I can really see through a lot of what  people are doing  when they ask for help…but I never think it is my place to think they are wrong…choices, habits, ways of being… these are deeply ingrained.  They are developed over time to make sense of nonsensical worlds and experiences.

Healing through these takes deep love and compassion toward yourself and when you have a guide who is disrespectful or superior it actually causes you to hold tighter to those habits, because in a deep place within yourself you recognize the person isn’t safe.

Looking within, facing the choices you made to survive, unearthing the beliefs you swallowed whole from your cultural and family systems requires courage, compassion and trust.  It takes time to see within yourself, to understand what it is that you are doing that hurts yourself and what it is that you would rather do for yourself.  The fastest way to impede real healthy change is to make fun of someone’s inability to see what is necessary.  Actually threatening or making fun  of someone only makes that person feel worse, and so cling to the exact thing that they need to release.

My experience is that being a healer isn’t being the know it all, superior, king of the world…it’s much more like being a caring talk show hostess, gently encouraging your audience to look inside, gently release that which doesn’t serve, and encouraging love and acceptance, embracing your true self.

This role of healer/guide is difficult. It is mostly thankless.  You are mostly invisible and unimportant in the process.  The recognition of your care and skill comes often in retrospect or mostly once you are gone.  So for individuals who want to be recognized for their power, intelligence, or sheer genius…those who want to be called healers… it is problematic.

I believe this is what drives the narcissism and arrogance in alternative healers.  They are of two minds, unintegrated.  On one hand they see the empowerment of being soulful, spirit-filled, but on the other hand they have not dealt with their inner needs for power or their reactive level of superiority.  They come by it honestly.  Constantly having to go against the grain of the society, to prove to a society that requires proof from a right/wrong perspective that living in the light, in spirit, is valuable sets up this inner split.  So that on one hand a person is able to live in the light but on the other hand to express it pulls the person back into the shadow.

I understand this.  Yet, it is something that I want to kindly address because it is harmful.  It is harmful to the identified healer and those they are intending to help.

These individuals who are presenting themselves as more highly evolved are actually acting without mindfulness, without compassion, not from a no ego state of harmony, but rather from an egotistical state of superiority and arrogance, “I know better”.

This type of superiority and intolerance seems outside of the very thing they are teaching.

It can be  human nature to defend against attack by treating another as you feel he has treated you.  But it isn’t evolved spiritual consciousness.

The evolution of consciousness requires that the response of the evolved person be compassionate, show lovingkindness, treat the other AS she would like to be treated (not as she was treated in the shadow, unintegated degree of consciousness).

This is what the Buddha references about releasing ego – no ego.  This is what is attributed to Christ to love, to see the beauty in another and forgive even when he or she harms you. This is what is part of the ten commandments and the golden or silver rule – to do unto others what you would have done unto you (or not do unto others what you would not have done unto you).

  • As you endeavor to heal yourself and evolve your consciousness, listen to the understory as well as the over story in the guidance you receive.  Listen to yourself, too.  Pay attention to your inner sensory guidance, the quiet inner voice that helps you to discern whether you are moving toward integration and wholeness.
  • You may disregard guidance that is coming from a sense of superiority or disrespect, or you may choose to listen to the kernel of the guidance and disregard the put down.

And if you are an alternative healer, listen to your own understory.  Pay attention to that which drives your desire to help.  Clarify your shadow and allow yourself to be fully integrated.  The more neutral you feel, the more love you feel, the more you allow others to be in their own space free, the more likely you are integrating your shadow and your spirit.

Spiritual consciousness evolution happens through transcending and connecting to the place where spirit and human are best, not one better than the other.

make everything sacredThe easiest way to find that is through meditation, breath, forgiveness, lovingkindness, mindfulness, and acceptance. in love and light, bg


Healing sound

I have been using crystal toning bowls in my practice recently, to shift negative energies out of the various chakras and to accelerate the opening of new chakra centers.

There are specific sounds for each chakra:

chakranoteswebc,d,e,f,g,a,b are the notes for the seven chakras typically identified.  The toning bowls that sound at each of these notes can assist in healing these specific chakras.

In addition, my teacher dr. Jeffrey Meyer taught me that chanting the vowels: eh, ee, ah, O, oo in a repeated fashion with one breath can align the various chakras through aligning the five elements in your visceral and etheric system.

The sound is like this:  

When you are feeling out of balance you can use this technique to center yourself and align your physical and spiritual self.  You may notice certain sounds are easier, stronger, or more difficult this gives you an idea of where you may be out of balance.  As you develop an understanding of the connection between the sounds and the elements, you may utilize this connection and sound to heal yourself.

Even without this level of awareness you can feel yourself strengthening and balancing by repeating the sequence with your breath until you feel the shift and rebalancing.  Listen again to the above link, you may notice the difference in strength and alignment from the first to the third toning in the above audio link.

There are crystal bowls for c#, d#, f#, g# and b#.

chakrasnotesastrologyThere is evidence that new  energy centers are developing within our chakra system that correspond with these sharp notes.  These can assist you in developing your capacity for breath, the diaphragm chakra (d#) or  in opening the thymus or higher heart chakra (f#) which can assist with increased immunity, as well as the Zeal point or Mouth of God chakra at the base of the occiput,( g#), which assists with compassion and telepathy, a deeper connection with spirit and the universe.  I have not investigated the evidence about the relationships between these centers and astrology, but this figure offers a sense of the new chakra configuration and sounds.  I have been using the e, f#, and g# in my practice and find these sounds to be profoundly healing.

Here is a link to all the newly developing chakras and sounds, crystal singing bowls.

chakra mantrasAs you are developing your understanding of these bowls, chakras and sounds, you may also want to address blockages in your thinking or beliefs.

Work with the first set of chakras first, root, sacral, and solar plexus as these will help to keep you grounded as you move into higher energetic realms.  You can use color to amplify the strength of these chakras.  Meditation on the chakra will enhance your clarity about what you need and how well balanced you are.

You may want to work with these blockages by simply using cognitive inversions, reframing the difficulties into gifts and aligning with the power of gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness.

Acupuncture, energy work, therapy, journaling, and breathwork are all helpful in realigning with your true power and integrated self.

Yoga is an excellent source of support, to help you balance your integrated spirit, mind, body fields as you are increasing the amount of light you are pulling into your energetic system.  It helps to lengthen your spine so that you can actually hold more light.

Sound is a powerful healer.

Consider the effect certain songs have on you. The effect of a song is not only related to your psychological connection to it in the development of your life, but also to the tone and harmony of it, and how it relates to your internal energetic systems.  Classical music and the Beatles have the ability to create a sense of balance, this is directly related to the healing power of sound.

This is the meditative and balancing power of chanting and toning.

Have fun with this.

Discover what sounds are healing to you.  These may change over time and as a result of various circumstances.

Recognize that you have the power to heal within in you simply through toning and sound.  Embrace the power to heal within yourself and clear the path to a new level of consciousness in thought and action. in love and light, bg

photo(22)For a medical intuitive session, chakra balancing, or sound healing session please contact me at my website, dr beth gineris, at, classes & healing sessions

Leave a comment

easy centering meditation for all ages

This is an easy way to teach kids how to meditate

Benefits of meditation Begin with breath.

Sit comfortably.

Close your eyes.

Imagine golden light coming in the top of your head and moving down along the interior of your body along your spine with your in-breath.

As you exhale imagine negative energy, stress, fears, or obstacles moving out your feet.

If you like you can think of how the sun feels on your back to get an image of warmth moving through you.

Breathe in so that your tummy gets big and breathe out so that your tummy gets smaller.
Breathe in for a count of 3 and out for a count of 5 (after a while you may want to breathe in for a count of 5 and out for 7 or even long but always have your out-breath be longer by two counts).

You can have you child teach a favorite stuffy to help learn the routine.

In medicine the best strategy to habituate yourself to a procedure is see 1, do 1, teach 1.  So use that strategy here to help inculcate for your child the meditation process.

After 10 to 20 breaths have a strong exhalation and open your eyes; you will feel refreshed.
You can lengthen the time you breathe to 3 – 5 minutes.

Encourage your child to practice in the morning and the evening.

3-5 minutes for younger children is an excellent practice.  As your child becomes more practiced you can increase to 15 minutes twice a day.  Long time meditators may meditate for 30 or more minutes.  Let your experience define what is best for you and your child.

Encourage your child to use this technique when faced with a stressful event.  After practice it will become a natural instinctive method in response to feeling out of balance, feeling fearful or stressed.

You can do this too and it will reinforce your child’s practice.

Enjoy!  in love and light, bg

beth's book No to ONOn April 5, 2014, I will be teaching a course on the use of mindfulness to treat anxiety for coaches, teachers and parents, at the Center for Instinctive Health Medicine…. Mindfulness techniques to reduce anxiety & stress, in children, excellent for counselor, caregivers, coaches, and teachers  tuition $120, April 5, 2014, 9-3, 6 hours of ceu for counselor and therapists— includes applications for children and adolescents for parent/teacher training. [this class can be purchased for training in classroom or counselor site training – modified to fit your needs – contact dr. gineris by email]….. These techniques are great for counselors and I offer CEUs for nm licensed counselors, you can sign up through my website,

front cover.me2wedr beth gineris is the author of Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness (2011) and Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (2013).  She endeavors to assist individuals in the process of upleveling their consciousness in everyday interactions to experience profound love, connection and care in their relationships and communities.  You can find her books on and through her website.

1 Comment

choose to uplevel, energetic clearing, alignment

My friend, Georgia, said to me recently, that I have an angel’s view from 30 thousand feet…  I can see how others get in their own way, the blocks in their electromagnetic field, their conflicting, problematic, limiting attitudes & beliefs, AND how these are creating boulders in their path..

From her perspective I can see this and this can at times make others not like me

…others see this in you, they know that you can see.  

This recognition by another, when she (or he) is not ready to commit results in a bifurcated response, on one hand she sees I can help and presents herself for a healing, like asking me questions about what she should do in her life about some thing, sometimes a person may actually show up in my office for a session….the bifurcation happens when the person wants release or a clearing passively.  She wants me to do the work of healing her without any commitment to the healing personally.

  • In order to get the healing you have to actually choose and do the healing work… That is the catch, it isn’t passive on your part.

And so, when I don’t say what a person wants to hear, or when I focus on how (he or) she has power in a situation and what actions (he or) she must take in order to create the space for a healing, and the person just wants to be healed without any personal shift, this can result in negative energy toward me.

….Which is how our conversation started, I was lamenting about the process and how unpleasant it is for me.

…But it isn’t enough for them to present themselves to me for a healing… ‘just because you can see from an angel’s view doesn’t mean you can help like and angel’…. 

Crash!  That brought me right down to earth.

Her point being that while I may feel compelled to help everyone who crosses my path and I am at the ready to create these miracles, I am still only allowed to wield that healing power when the other person is fully committed to the shift into her (his) new self.

….you have the skills and capacity to transform and clear other’s fields,  but there has to be a conscious willingness, a  direct agreement and intention from the spirit/human needing transformation for you to do it

As much as I feel compelled to heal others because I can, doing so requires an integrated conscious agreement for healing and an active readiness that is transmitted through actions, statements, and higher level karmic release.

  • You have to step fully into your elevated self.  Which means you have to integrate your consciousness and your commitment to healing.

Integrated conscious agreement, the action of not only saying I need help but also holding the intention and willingness to receive the shift and embrace the necessary release of unhealthy attitudes, actions, beliefs, and mis-knowings.

  • This is the release of the karmic emotional cords that are within your DNA.

There is some evidence that indeed energetic memories can be passed from parent to child: dec. 2013, scientists prove memories passed from ancestors through DNA;  scientists prove fears and memories can be inherited

I interpret this to be the way in which karmic cords may be in your DNA.

  • So that as you develop your chakra wheels and open to the development of higher level chakra spheres you open yourself to the knowledge of these karmic cords and open yourself to healing, releasing and clearing them.

This requires integrated spirit/matter (human) consciousness knowing and recognition.

  • You can choose to heal, clear your karmic cords and elevate your spiritual, emotional and physical being.

I am at the ready when you choose, instinctive health medical intuitive, telephonic energetic clearing & alignment.

Until then I will continue to deflect the negativity as it flies by me, and I will hold the view from thirty thousand feet.  I see you and I send you love and light, bg

Leave a comment

Turning Me to WE, understanding the Me-style of partnership

Dear Friends Welcome!

A friend requested elucidation of how the Me-style works if you are the one who gives yourself away by not holding or setting boundaries, especially when you are in partnership with a person who tends toward narcissism.

The me style is the concept ‘two halves make a whole’  perspective.  If in your situation you are the one who can’t say no, you have difficulty setting the boundary. If you are partnered with a narcissist, your partner has no capacity for empathy, no ability to actually see your point of view.  In psychological terms a person who is narcissistic is not specifically selfish – you can be selfish and not be narcissistic. To be diagnosed as a narcissist you have to lack empathy. The other diagnosis that has no capacity for empathy is a sociopath. What the two have in common is this lack of empathy.

Typically people who are caught in relationships with either sociopaths or narcissists have poor boundaries and lack self esteem (undeveloped inner security) and so don’t say no. They lose their sense of me, giving it away to their partner in hopes to feel/be loved.

The question where is the me is an apt one. The set of parameters for the me-style is dependency, diffuse or no boundary, lacks empathy, inner insecurity.   Remember it’s a style of partnering – so the driving focus is the driving me-need (for the giver away of self – the me-need that is driving is a need to be loved by an other – so although it looks like there is no me on her/his part, s/he is being driven by an insecurity me-need).

YOU can strengthen yourself by developing a healthy set of boundaries (defining and living through a set of boundaries of what is reasonable to give and take in relationship) and a healthy style of saying no ( identifying when you feel taken for granted by developing your awareness of your senses) as well as developing your inner security (discovering what you want and not accepting less than that- this includes recognizing your strengths and your limitations, and how these play into what you want in relationship).

Setting up these boundaries, increasing your sense of inner security, and developing compassion for yourself and your partner will get you ready for an independent, I-style relationship.

You may either grow together into a clearer more bounded relationship OR you may release each other to develop the next style of relating:  Two circles 00 walking side-by-side independently with firm, clear boundaries.  In this, the I-style, you may have to deal with stiffer boundaries as you develop your capacity to say no.  You may even find you are less flexible because you are defining those lines that you do not want crossed.

Once you feel comfortable in that kind of relationship you can develop flexibility with your boundaries and your paradigm recognition, shifting, and integration…. Thus allowing you to easily Move Into interdependence, through focus on connection and collaboration where both parties matter and a we-style of relationship.

Development through the different styles is a process.  Once you know where you are in the series of Me, dependent (co-dependent, driven by a set of inner insecurities), diffuse boundaries; I, independent (rigid boundaries, unable to say yes, due to a fear of losing self); We, interdependent, flexible boundaries focused on what you want rather than what you fear; then you can use that knowledge to develop qualities of empathy, boundaries, and inner security to get unstuck and achieve a more mutually satisfying relationship.

You can find out more in  Turning NO to ON:  The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, (Gineris 2011); Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, (Gineris 2013).front cover.me2we

and discover where you are in the MAAPS section.  This will help you to manage your insecurities and understand how and why you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure). in love and light, bg