I went to a conference recently that focused on healing core beliefs. The idea behind the conference is
“What you believe you perceive, and what you perceive you experience”
Each of us fashions our life on misbeliefs.
Beliefs we developed in response to injuries, loss, and difficult situations.
The mind puts together an equation that reads: if this then that… if there is a contest then I will not win..the belief being I never win anything. Or I never get picked first. Or even deeper I am not Worthy or Loved.
When you build your life on a core misbelief such as I am not worthy or I am not lovable. Your experiences lead you to this conclusion.
Let’s check out how one might create a structure that teaches her that message over and over again.
- With a core belief I am not worthy: You might choose lovers or partners that either don’t have the communication skills to share with you your worth; You would experience always feeling taken for granted or unimportant.
- Or you might choose people who are so self-focused they can’t see you (such as a neurotic or narcissistic personality); You would experience that nothing you ever did was good enough so that you mattered.
- Or you might choose people who need you to take care of them and they can’t focus their energy on you…in that instance you would have to give and give without experiencing receiving love.
- You might choose overwhelming tasks that you could not accomplish. Or you might accomplish many things and still feel empty after completing them
The tendency is to think the problem is with the other person.
Catch yourself, notice if there is a pattern. Is it in all your partners, close friends, lovers? If it is, it may be more about you and your core belief.
This isn’t to say that the other person might not have the issue you think he does.
It’s just that if you want to change you experiences you have to change your core beliefs.
It’s harder to do than you think. It takes real courage to see how you are holding yourself back from having the love or life you want.
Usually these core beliefs are set up from a standpoint of necessity. They are a result of injury, trauma, something that has gone wrong in your original psychosocial development. They may have been true about that one event, but not generalizable to all of life. Once in place they are like shorthand, if this then that. I have to give and give, no one will ever love me just for myself…how do I know because that’s how (fill in the blank important caregiver) treated me. And, it’s not that person’s fault either.
It’s a belief.
It isn’t solid or real. It drives the mind, but it doesn’t have to drive the heart.
Go into your heart feel your beauty, your lovableness, your worth. Love yourself first then you will experience the love from those around you …and no that isn’t narcissism, that’s the flow of life.
It comes from within first. Then it touches on everything else. in love and light, bg
Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2016 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.
You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).
You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
Discover your path, set an intention for what you want to create in your life: It’s difficult to get where you’re going without a map.