InstinctiveHealthParenting4U

Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.


Leave a comment

Resilience is the key to strength

Mental toughness is more of an inner flexibility than an external rigidity. It is adaptability with push through.

I just finished my first half Ironman. It was an extraordinary experience.  Running across the finish line took grace and grit.  I think my experience there is a metaphor for life.  Each event has its own challenges and rewards.  Life is no different: Work, play, relationship, friendship, education/training, personal growth, parenting…these are all events in the landscape of life. The common factors of success in these utilize the tools of mental toughness.

When I’m working with a coaching client I focus on resilience, the ability to bounce back to push through undeclared, unexpected circumstances; ones capacity for adaptability creates the highest level of happiness and success in life.  Adaptability can cause troubles when there’s a lack of inner stability or core strength then the flexibility results in being pushed over.

This link applies mental fitness to triathlon:

https://www.teamusa.org/USA-Triathlon/News/Blogs/Multisport-Lab/2016/June/07/Mental-Toughness

Here are the ten tips:  the italicized information offers key ideas for developing resilience, adaptability, and mental toughness in life…mindfulness.

1. Approach new situations with a flexible mind and recognition of your own preconceptions. You know you don’t know everything, so you can’t really be surprised.  Paradigms are key here.  It’s not only what you think you know, it’s also what you have locked perceptions about. Allowing yourself to have a foundation that is flexible open and responsive to change makes all the difference.

2. Roll with the unexpected. If you’re giving a presentation and the lights go out, you move the party to the local restaurant and continue onward. Stuff happens; everyone knows it. But how you react to it is what counts. If you’re racing a triathlon and get a flat tire, you don’t throw a fit and break your bike in half. You change it — even if it takes you 30 minutes. Don’t give up. Perseverance, ease of transition, responsiveness… I call this respons- a- bility.  The ability to calmly and quickly assess, decide and act (respond) is the key.

3. Remain centered and focused. Other competitive types may try to throw you off with gamesmanship. It’s part of the competitive world, and you may do it too, consciously or not. Don’t let a competitor bait you into unwise moves ruled by emotion. As far as mental toughness within competition goes, you need to know your strengths and play to them, not to someone else’s tune. Stay on task with your goal whenever anything or anyone tries to interfere. Run your own race.  This applies to competition, and applies to life at every level.  Your skills are best exhibited in your own pacing, timing, and paradigm.

4. Defeat isn’t the end for you. You have lost before. You’ll lose again. Your ability to absorb these and move onwards with your race, career and life is what counts. Michael Jordan has a quote about missing 9,000 free throws or something like that. You get the point. Efficient learning happens after mistakes are made and corrected. Find your way through the labyrinth to the center.  Leave that there and move to the next event with a fresh face and clear mind.  This will keep you centered, mindful, and give you the best chance at success.

5. Believe in yourself. Recognize your talents with a realistic assessment of your skills. Really knowing that you’re good at something is empowering and will generally help you become even better as you believe in your ability and that skill. No one is good at everything, but we’re all great at something. Recognize this. Confidence creates strength and courage; draws success to you. Insecurity creates loss and deflation; pushes success away.  The key is to know yourself; having a healthy recognition of your assets and limitations.

6. Deal with the discomfort. Almost everyone is in pain the last few miles of a marathon or gets tired at some point in an IRONMAN. The front of the pack often separates not on their physical ability but their mental ability to deal with temporary physical states (like pain or fatigue). With a strong mind you can overcome. Mental toughness is knowing when the pain is something that requires immediate attention and when it is not.  This is what allows for push through and breakthrough in strength training and physical fitness.  Your mind can interfere with your physical fitness by stoping too early or going to long and creating injury. This is paramount in relationship and emotional development.

7. Channel your inner Wolverine. He’s angry, he’s got claws and he heals very, very quickly. Sometimes you have just got to break out a little Wolvie. I like to encourage your inner goddess or your inner warrior.  Focus, focus, focus.  Know your skills and use them to meet your goals.

8. Crap rolls downhill. It also rolls over you. Anyone in the business world knows that one. As an athlete, you will also experience your share of crap. Crappy workouts. Crappy days. Crappy equipment. Crappy training partners. Crappy races. My goodness, the world is full of crap. But you’re Teflon, baby. Let it roll on down. Move on to that hill over yonder.  Shake it off, shake it off.. reset.

9. When things go wrong, keep moving on. “Don’t give up” is a powerful and simple statement. What other options do you have? Is there another way? Is there any way? What do you have to do to make things go your way? Find it. Do it. This is the mental toughness that carries people through situations where weaker minds crumble. Commitment, perseverance…accept the situation respond to it with grace and grit, and a little bit of anger and a little bit of joy..that mixture gives you the strength and the mindfulness to persevere.

10. Things aren’t always your fault. Mentally tough people also tend to be drivers and doers with a predisposition to strong internal locus of control. That’s a funny way of saying that it’s easy to start to think you can make things happen by just doing your best. Some things are just out of your control, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Sometimes there is a competitor out there with a better idea, a higher V02 max or slightly better taper coming into his A-race. See the two rules above and move on. Channel your inner goddess, your inner warrior, your inner magician…recognize with focus you can bend time, break barriers go where no one has gone before…I can do it. The best mantra to get you to the finish line.

Mindfulness is a type of mental fitness. Thinks that will completely stop you are misbeliefs. This bog can help :

https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2016/05/17/healing-core-misbeliefs/

Keep developing your mindfulness and you will finish and possible win whatever race you enter in life. in love and light, bg

Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2016 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Discover your path, set an intention for what you want to create in your life: It’s difficult to get where you’re going without a map. 


2 Comments

Healing core misbeliefs

I went to a conference recently that focused on healing core beliefs.  The idea behind the conference is

“What you believe you perceive, and what you perceive you experience”

Each of us fashions our life on misbeliefs.

Beliefs we developed in response to injuries, loss, and difficult situations.

The mind puts together an equation that reads: if this then thatif there is a contest then I will not win..the belief being I never win anything.  Or I never get picked first.  Or even deeper I am not Worthy or Loved.

When you build your life on a core misbelief such as I am not worthy or I am not lovable. Your experiences lead you to this conclusion.  

Let’s check out how one might create a structure that teaches her that message over and over again.

  • With a core belief I am not worthy: You might choose lovers or partners that either don’t have the communication skills to share with you your worth; You would experience always feeling taken for granted or unimportant.
  • Or you might choose people who are so self-focused they can’t see you (such as a neurotic or narcissistic personality); You would experience that nothing you ever did was good enough so that you mattered.
  • Or you might choose people who need you to take care of them and they can’t focus their energy on you…in that instance you would have to give and give without experiencing receiving love.
  • You might choose overwhelming tasks that you could not accomplish.  Or you might accomplish many things and still feel empty after completing them

The tendency is to think the problem is with the other person.

Catch yourself, notice if there is a pattern.  Is it in all your partners, close friends, lovers?  If it is, it may be more about you and your core belief.

This isn’t to say that the other person might not have the issue you think he does.

It’s just that if you want to change you experiences you have to change your core beliefs.

It’s harder to do than you think.  It takes real courage to see how you are holding yourself back from having the love or life you want.

Usually these core beliefs are set up from a standpoint of necessity.  They are a result of injury, trauma, something that has gone wrong in your original psychosocial development.  They may have been true about that one event, but not generalizable to all of life.  Once in place they are like shorthand, if this then that.  I have to give and give, no one will ever love me just for myselfhow do I know because that’s how (fill in the blank important caregiver) treated me.  And, it’s not that person’s fault either.  

It’s a belief.

It isn’t solid or real.  It drives the mind, but it doesn’t have to drive the heart.

Go into your heart feel your beauty, your lovableness, your worth.  Love yourself first then you will experience the love from those around you …and no that isn’t narcissism, that’s the flow of life.

It comes from within first.  Then it touches on everything else. in love and light, bg

Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2016 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Discover your path, set an intention for what you want to create in your life: It’s difficult to get where you’re going without a map. 

 


Leave a comment

What if…part 2. Working through loss.

There was such a positive and powerful response to the first section of chapter one, I thought I would offer the second section to the chapter…please let me know your sense about it… in love and light, bg

I notice the Dean’s lips are moving, but I can’t quite make out what she is saying.
Oh good. Finally she is talking.

Involuntarily, I shivered. She was sitting right next to me, but I couldn’t really understand what she was saying; the words were coming in like an out of tune radio station, they just didn’t make any sense. And then I heard her, sharp and clear…
“Robbie is dead.” “His car went off the road Saturday morning. The police think he was killed instantly.”
The thoughts inside my head blew about me …
No!
No, he isn’t dead; he can’t be dead. I have to tell him…
I have to see him.
I have to tell him how sorry I am.
I have to tell him I’m ready to marry him.
His face flashed across my inner vision. The feelings from our last meeting crashed in my heart.

Flash. Crash!

No! I have to set this right.
I heard my words reverberate back to me. “No! No, he isn’t dead.” “No you mean he’s in the hospital. He’s just hurt; he’ll be okay,” as if I was giving her the corrected line. I couldn’t accept what she was saying.
My urgency must have been unbearable for her. Her eyes blinked with tears. Gently, her head shook no.
She reached across the space on the couch to comfort me, patting my leg rhythmically. I felt faint. The room began to spin. I fell into her chest as she continued to now rhythmically pat my shoulder. She supported me as I broke down.
Her voice unwavering, “No Beth, he is not in the hospital. He’s gone.”
He was gone?
He left me without knowing that I had changed my mind?

Our last interaction, me being such a jerk, was now unforgivable.
It hit me like a one, two punch to my stomach. He was gone, my beautiful future stolen from me. My uncaring and inflated behavior was our last interaction. It stood like a headstone marker on his grave.
Her words and my memories pierced through my consciousness like a knife through my heart. The pain was debilitating. I couldn’t breathe.
I felt at the edge of nothingness, completely powerless. I sat there deflated, like a pierced party balloon. I don’t know how long I remained in this state. When I looked up, the sun was no longer shining and the trees outside mirrored my inner storm.

I finally composed myself enough to walk out of her office.
Her secretary smiled at me weakly as I passed down the hall.
It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other; I could barely walk. I found myself at my dorm room. Thankfully, my suitemate returned to her previous muteness.

That was the only thing that returned to normal. Everything and everyone else was different. Night came and left. Day came and turned to night. Life continued around me but I was not a part of it. I felt robotic, disconnected, remote and out of sync with the whole of life around me. I couldn’t tolerate the birds singing or my friends laughing, wherever joy presented itself I turned away. Happiness grated on me like nails on a chalkboard.
I recoiled from life. Spiritless on the inside, I couldn’t even find the energy to fake it on the outside.

The image of her sweater with black marked stains stuck with me for a long time.

I numbly completed my last semester of college, in a fog, unable to concentrate on anything. Everything changed. I couldn’t bear to listen to music, people laughing, or see my friends. And it seemed they avoided me too. I was flat and lifeless; there wasn’t much there for connection.

Entire days went by without me seeing anyone.
I felt desolate, angry with myself, angry with Robbie, lonely and lost.

In the days that passed, I discovered how in his last moments of his precious life Robbie reoriented the direction of the car to save his passenger’s life. A stranger to our community, this sweet young man began to wish he had died instead of Robbie. To his face I said “no, no…don’t think that.” But in my heart I screamed, yes, yes, why do you get to live; why not Robbie. I hated myself for thinking and feeling that way. I couldn’t stop my heart pain. Life was so difficult and challenging. I was walking though water without a regulator, drowning with every breath.
That heroism was so consistently Rob’s character; he was always there at the right time, loyal and dependable when it really mattered.
Why didn’t he save himself? I was coming back for him.

Inconsolable, time passed in starts and spurts, and then it seemed to trickle by. So much of my energy went to managing my grief that little was left to relate to friends or complete my studies.

“Beth, I’m giving you this A grade because of your work here-to-for, not for the work in this paper.” The words written in red ink across the front of my final paper stung, but I was grateful for the understanding of my dearest sociology professor.
“This is sub-par work Beth, but I know this has been a difficult time so I’m giving you an A in the class anyway.” Another painful note in red from my psychology professor, I vacillated between painful prickling and numbness. I was grateful for their understanding. There was nothing inside to pull on for my studies; I was bereft of passion. There was just enough life in me to robotically go through the motions.

For the next six weeks, my senses were in a state of paresthesia; over and over my professors forgave my distracted, poor work.

Working at 20 percent, I limped into graduation.
Two months after Robbie’s death I graduated, said goodbye to my friends and school, and shut the door to my previous life.

Spiritless, I walked into my barren future. I was the skin you see from a cicada, perfectly formed with no life inside.
I filled the space with work.
Astonishingly, my logical, solution-focused father was the dearest comfort to me during that time.
Notes arrived. They slowly filled the empty space in my apartment and heart.
“Hi honey, thinking of you! Dad” staring at me as I brushed my teeth.
“Remember to get out and see friends. Dad” taped to my steering wheel. I taped them to my mirror, and used them as bookmarks. They marked my path back to life.
He had an unerring capacity to simply be present with me in my grief.
“Here’s a picture of Robbie from when he was at the house. Love, Dad” That picture became my velveteen rabbit.

One day on the phone he told me that Robbie (unbeknownst to me) arrived in my hometown earlier in the year that Robbie had died; he asked my father’s blessing to marry me.
The pictures of them together at my house simultaneously felt stabbing and comforting.
He knew I would come around. He knew I loved him.
He had to have known to fly from New York City to Albuquerque, just to see my Dad.

I kept seeing his face at that last meeting, and feeling how out of sync my actions were. It was shocking and triggered intense discomfort. Steadily though, my unconscious kept driving me toward forgiveness. Like a river pushes and pulls fragments down the current, my thoughts drove me toward forgiveness of him, forgiveness of me, forgiveness of God.

My Dad and I shared this deep love for Robbie.
“He was a good man honey. He loved you so much. I’m glad I got to know him. Keep working it will help you stay strong. You can come home any time you want to honey. Love, Dad.”
He loved you so much, stay strong, those words reverberated in my mind. It was one of the best notes I received from my Dad. I kept it in my favorite journal.

I worked by day as a law firm runner in LA and by evening as a residential counselor with developmentally delayed adolescents, teaching them independent-living skills.
I loved running by moonlight through downtown LA.
I savored my time alone. I don’t know if it was punishment or protective but it was healing. It gave me time to think, forgive, and distance myself from the intensity of what had happened. Although I did most things alone, I shared my apartment with my best friend from college. She was mostly gone working on political campaigns. I was mostly gone working. It was a perfect arrangement for healing.

I loved her so much because I didn’t have to explain what was going on with me. She knew. She loved me anyway. Other than Trish, I can’t remember making any friends.
My memories of that time are like snippets of fabric sewn together with travel along the Southern California freeways.
After fourteen months my senses came back.
Trish had to move to another state to follow an important campaign. I decided to move back to Albuquerque.
It seemed that light began to come back into my daily life.
I heard the birds singing and it didn’t make me want to yell stop. Music was inviting. I danced.
Somewhere, I found the space within me to have faith again in the fabric of Life.

Robbie’s death became a defining experience in my life. The importance of love, honesty, forgiveness, and acting in congruence with my true character became the boundaries required for health and freedom in relationship.
Ultimately, I felt my deliverance from my inner prison. Salvation lit me slowly with the realization that he knew I loved him. He saw through everything from beginning to end. I was the last to see the truth and it was too late to enjoy the love waiting for me.

I forgave myself for being immature and unthinking.
I developed an urgent need to be authentic in all my communications, a left over compulsion from that fateful night. It made me a bit intense and probably too serious.

Overtime, I befriended the ebb and flow of life and death.
I came to accept that there was a tapestry of life that I could tap into and flow with but that I had to remain sincere and accept the consequences of my actions.
If I had married Robbie, I may not have become the person I am today, leaving a hole in the fabric of the lives of those whom I have offered healing counsel. That’s how I think about it now. I walk in a state of grace, with a sense of gratefulness for the gifts I developed out of my devastating loss; grateful to have positively affected so many through that loss.

And it was from that knowing I spent my last weeks with my father as he got chemotherapy for end stage pancreatic cancer.

 

And so here is the first chapter of the book…Working through loss offers deep awareness of the tapestry of life…, how have your traumas elevated your consciousness?  Send me a comment or write one in the space below…in love and light, bg


2 Comments

What if you knew this was your last day, would you change your story?

Here is the beginning to my next book…please tell me what you think in the comment section, or email me through my website, www.bethgineris.com  in love and light, bg

The Path to Grace, my life from 30 thousand feet: “Like the walls of my neighborhood seen from a thousand feet height, my life experiences create a path on the map to my life destiny.”

Chapter One: Who Knew
My last night with Robbie is seared into my heart and mind.
I was feeling bold, invincible; flirting with his friend and ignoring how it might feel to him; feeling free and without a care.
He seemed to take it all in stride. Standing there, his head tilted to one side, leaning on one foot, with that silly Cheshire-cat grin, but I could tell he was hurt underneath that unassuming demeanor.
That was my last image of him: my last verbal exchange, the defining last action in our relationship.
Later that evening, I called his home phone but the line just rang and rang.
The next morning I drove from LA to Phoenix.
He’s okay. We’ll get over it, once I get back. He knows it wasn’t real. He loves me more than anyone ever has…he will forgive me. The thoughts circled in my mind over the long drive.
During that weekend with my best friend I kept seeing his face. It started to bother me, even with all those previous reassuring thoughts on the drive. I had acted out of character for myself, so hurtful and uncaring. It nagged at the back of my brain.
He was a delightful confluence of opposites, brash and thoughtful, overly serious and disarmingly easygoing. He lived hidden in plain sight. His demeanor conveyed no trappings of materialism while his name connected him to a household name trust fund.
The nagging feeling dissolved into a powerful realization: I was avoiding stepping into the role of becoming an adult. It was obvious that we were meant to be together and now I had to take the next step, as he had long ago asked me to do. Finally, I was ready to marry him.
As I drove back, I was so happy. Everything just felt right. With beautiful images of his smiling face, and our future floating through my mind, I knew he would be ecstatic that I had come to my senses.
He is going to be so happy. It was all I could think about the whole way back to Claremont. I felt at peace with my decision to allow the strength of his love to pull me forward toward my destiny.

At my dorm suite I was met with an onslaught of paper messages posted onto my room door requesting me to report directly to the Dean of Student’s Office. My quirky suitemate who never talked with me, stopped what she was doing, looked up, and smiled at me.
How odd! I thought. Reflexively, I smiled back.
“You should go to the Dean’s office before you go to class.”
She just kept standing there staring at me. It was a little unnerving.
I brushed the back of my neck with my hand to smooth out my hair. “Yeah, okay”… I said absentmindedly, wishing she would return to not talking to me. I turned back to my door, barely stepping into my room. I dropped off my bag inside and looked around my room. It felt like something was out of place, but I couldn’t put my finger on what was missing. I grabbed my notebook for class and started out the door.
All I really wanted to do was find Robbie and tell him my decision. I felt so happy and complete.
“No really, you should go right now.” She was weirdly insistent.
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” I quickly walked out of the suite relieved to be away from her.

Inside her office my dean gently ushered me into a private room. I had never been in this part of the office before. It was nice, quiet almost, peaceful. I wonder what they use this space for, I thought.

My memory of what followed is more like a set of snapshots then a flowing movie.
She looked sad. She was wearing a fuzzy, white sweater. She invited me to sit on her couch. And then she sat down next to me. Her entire continence was warm and sweet.
Weird… I thought. She is never this nice.
I looked out the window distractedly; it was sunny, the tree leaves were gently swaying as if they were in a dance with the wind.

When I turned my attention back to the Dean, she seemed to be moving in slow motion. It was taking forever for her to say what she wanted from me. I remember feeling irritated with her.
Okay Dean, Let’s get on with it. I am kind of in a hurry here…My mind kept thinking of Robbie and how happy he was going to be. I kept visualizing the image of his face, his Cheshire-cat smile with his head cocked to one side.
Robbie is going to be so happy.
I flashed back to the first time he asked me out. It was just after my boyfriend, Chuck, had broken up with me. There he was at my door.
“Hey, you want to go out.” He smiled that smile, leaning against the door, his shoulder length hair lightly bobbing.
“I thought you were dating Nancy.”
“Not anymore, we just broke up.”
“Oh…um, okay, sure.” I was less than enthusiastic. But it didn’t seem to bother him at all.
Later, that evening I ran into Nancy and she was superbly angry. “Hey Nance, what’s up?” I spoke to her as I passed her on the catwalk.
“Are you going out with Rob?”
“Yeah, he asked me to go to the club. He said you two were broken-up.”
“Oh yeah, we are. As soon as he heard you and Chuck weren’t together he came over to me, and broke-up with me. Turns out he’s been waiting to date you the whole time. I really should be mad at you. I liked him.” She stood there staring at me, trying to look angry, but mostly just looking depressed and a little bored. “I guess that’s just the way it is.”
“Nancy, I’m sorry,” she interrupted me, “Whatever Beth. It figures. I’ll see you later.”

I smiled to myself as I came out of the memory. Robbie always knew we were meant to be together. And as soon as I finish here, I can tell him he was right.
My mind came back to the room and the Dean. I started wishing that I hadn’t listened to my quirky suitemate.
For a moment I started to think I was in trouble.
And then, I felt a little mad. Why is everyone trying to ruin my good feeling about telling Robbie about my decision? What is she doing? I want to get to Robbie’s place before class.
Bits of thoughts swirled in my head as I waited quietly for her to speak. I tried to focus. There is definitely something off about this whole thing. I really wish I had just gone straight to Robbie’s.
I notice the Dean’s lips are moving, but I can’t quite make out what she is saying.
Oh good. Finally she is talking.
Involuntarily, I shivered. She was sitting right next to me, but I couldn’t really understand what she was saying; the words were coming in like an out of tune radio station, they just didn’t make any sense. And then I heard her, sharp and clear…
“Robbie is dead.” “His car went off the road Saturday morning. The police think he was killed instantly.”
The thoughts inside my head blew about me …
No!

…..

What if you knew the act you were taking, the words you were saying was/were going to be the defining action or statement in a situation…would you want to change the story?

There’s more to come and I will share it over the next three months…Hopefully the book will be available in 2016.  It’s a great resource to understand how and why to live mindfully. in love and light, bg

 


Leave a comment

Mindful action requires sensefulness

Intention, Attention, Perspective, and Perception, are four words that describe sensefulness; these words are guiding principles that create in their intersection mindful action.  Acting from these principles, together, places a person in present-time and calls for mindful action.

Being mindful is like seeing in 3-Dimensions, seeing in several dimensions, at once.

merkabah portalWhen I first started to do injections into joints I had to learn all the anatomy of those joints. There is a sensfulness that it requires for success.  It requires a degree of inner sight that creates a set of coordinates that places the fluid precisely where it needs to go. It is the same when working with complicated systems, family and relationship systems. When working as a therapist with families or couples seeing in 3-D is fundamental to being able to get the whole picture from the two (or more) skewed perspectives offered. You have to be able to interpret what is, and isn’t said, as well as the energy and force of what matters to the various participants.
Reading pulses in my oriental medicine training, and attending to the face, energy, and meridian systems in each human I treat with Oriental medicine requires attending to all the information in relation to each other and in space and time. I was taught to feel depth, quality and speed of each of the 12 channels but I also felt the emotion that went with the pulse. One of my teachers told me that was atypical. Yet it was the most important aspect to HOW I chose to treat the person successfully.  This multidimensional sight is simply the intersection of the principles of Intention, Attention, Perspective, and Perception.  This is the way in which one determines How to respond to incoming stimuli when interacting with others mindfully or in relationships as partners and parents

I think seeing in 3-D is essential for real, full communication and right action. And unless it’s natural it’s something that requires awareness about how to do it and lots of practice.
The words intention, attention, perspective, and perception increase your awareness and focus you onto the space in a 3-dimensional way.

  • Intention focuses you in on what you intend, what you want/desire or what the other intends, wants/desires.
  • Attention focuses you in on the tone, loudness, word choice, meaning and emotion as well as whether you and the other have the same meaning for words and/or actions – it pulls you into the present.
  • Perspective gets you into the figure/ground aspect of the interaction and allows for paradigm identification and paradigm shifting.
  • And, perception has aspects of all of the other three but in a more whole-istic fashion. It allows for mindful understanding and mindful action.

It’s like looking at a situation, relationship, or problem from a 360 degree perspective, breadth as well as depth.

When you are thinking about a situation or a relationship start to use these words as guide posts to increase your mindfulness awareness of yourself and the other(s) involved and see if you don’t get some surprising answers about what may be going on in those situations.
You can use your intuitive sense, your observations, questioning skills, and willingness to listen and act in a mindful present moment way. Practice applying the whole picture to the situation. (Copyright, bethgineris from turning NO to ON: the art of parenting with mindfulness, 2011.)

Working with the idea of 4th dimension, space and time, is a way of thinking about what happens when you are shifting paradigms.

Immanuel Kant in his Critique of Pure Reason developed a concept of transcendental philosophy. In Kant’s view, a priori intuitions and concepts provide us with some a priori knowledge which also provides the framework for our a posterior knowledge. His theory about space-time is fascinating as to how it relates to the 4th dimension. Space and time for Kant are a form of perceiving, together, and causality is a form of knowing. From his perspective both space and time and our conceptual principles and processes pre-structure our experience.

This develops the idea that paradigms and paradigm shifting are a product of perceiving and then introspectively knowing. For Kant things as they are in themselves are unknowable. In his view for something to become an object of knowledge, it must be experienced, and experience is structured by our minds – both space and time being the forms of our intuition, or perception, and the unifying, structuring activity of our concepts. These aspects of mind turn things in themselves into the world of experience – so that they can be known.

For me, multidimensional sight is viewing with your five senses plus intuition,

  • and the concept of time as represented by the now, past, and future;
  • 2/ recognizing how interpretations in time affect the future; and
  • 3/ noting how changing those interpretations actually CHANGES reality.

Mindfulness increases ones capacity to see in 4-D. I think of mindfulness as a concept that includes spirit, mind, and body responses integrated with information to guide our actions and cognitions, in the space-time continuum of the NOW.

Our minds are full with a focus on perception, attention, perspective, intention, and time. These are the foci that allow us to see in 4-d – giving space for figure/ground perspective and paradigm shifting.

Intuition provides a blink response, as described by Malcolm Gladwell in this book by the same name. A cue that there is something wrong or right. It allows for us to integrate our observations of our sensing system with our knowledge to guide us. The blink quality may allow for this integration to come to us as a whole (what Fritz Perls defined as a Gestalt) and in an instant.

Emotions are not knowings in and of themselves, they are triggers, or responses – it may be a trigger to alert us that there is someone crossing our boundaries like an internal sensing alarm system, or they may be emotional triggers to survivor scenarios, or responses as a posterior knowledge.

Viewing emotions as experiences but not knowings assists one in determining how to respond to an emotion. A good example is Feeling sorry for oneself it can erode at our being in an insidious way but is not always rooted in a reality.

  • Recognizing that perceptions and experiences can be temporal but not necessarily real or factual can assist one in seeing in 4-D and remaining centered in ones life.

body healsIf you find yourself feeling defensive, angry or feeling poor me, assess whether the feeling is part of a habit reaction pattern or a trigger OR an accurate assessment of something happening in the present moment.

  • Sometimes these feelings are cues about how what is happening now is akin to something historical that needs to be addressed.
  • When the feeling is nagging and bothersome rather than intense and loud then it may be indicative of a problem if it feels reactive and loud then it may be more of a habit reaction pattern or trigger. This is counterintuitive.
  • You can make a comparison of history event and the now event, to discern which is in play.
  • Mindfulness is a concept of utilizing one’s emotional sensory guidance system, and physical sensing system and the

Fullcapacity of our cognitive and problem solving skills to evaluate situations and experiences in order to create and guide our way. This is seeing in 4-D and allows for a unifying and flexible style of relating in the world.
Seeing in 4-D increases one’s capacity for centeredness and groundedness with flexibility and strength.

Seeing in multiple dimensions, inner guidance III
Allowing yourself to listen to the vast information available to you through your internal guidance system is essential for mindful, comprehensive communication and right action. Even though this is a natural, instinctual process – it can be eroded in early childhood due to a push to conform to group rules and beliefs – when you want to recapture your connection to this internal guidance you need to increase your awareness and practice paying attention and responding.
The words intention, attention, perspective, and perception increase your awareness and focus you onto the space in a multi-dimensional way. Each word embodies a specific energy or vibration that can wholly stand alone, but when the energy of each term is inked the whole of the process is multi-dimensional.
• Feel into the meaning of each of these terms for yourself so that you can get an image of the vibration of the word interacting like an equation with the other words.
• Give the internal image dimension through color or shape in how you experience the words interacting.
• This will allow you to create your own picture of how to focus yourself onto your path through your inner guidance holding the multi-dimensional information from your senses together yet bounded in a way to see the various paradigms.
• The interactions between and among the vibrations are as important as the word meanings and the whole equation.
You may see the words relating like a spear and a target, then a circling or something that encompasses and then finally something that shoots to a height and then grounds like an anchor. All directions and energies; not a blur of color that becomes murky but energy and color interacting and adjusting
Intention focuses you in on what you intend, what you want/desire or what the other intends, wants/desires.
Attention focuses you in on the tone, loudness, word choice, meaning and emotion as well as whether you and the other have the same meaning for words and/or actions – it pulls you into the present.
Perspective gets you into the figure/ground aspect of the interaction and allows for paradigm identification and paradigm shifting.
And perception has aspects of all of the other three. It allows for mindful understanding and mindful action.
It’s like looking at a situation, relationship, or problem from a 360 degree perspective, breadth as well as depth, multi-dimensionally.
So when you are thinking about a situation or a relationship start to use these words as guide posts to increase your mindfulness awareness of yourself and the other(s) involved and see if you don’t get some surprising answers about what may be going on in those situations. Pay attention to your internal guidance through your six senses to see if you can get a multidimensional picture and understanding of the situation or relationship.
You can use your intuitive sense, your observations, questioning skills, and willingness to listen and act in a mindful present moment way and this will have two effects: increase your personal degree of compassion and decrease your personalization of the information – personalization here meaning taking something personally with some sort of negative attachment rather than seeing the information more objectively or mindfully.
Paying attention to the quiet voice within and clarifying your intention – these will increase your understanding of your inner guidance and give you direction about what is your best right action.
It can also help you know when your best action is non-action, allowing or going with the flow. For some this is the most difficult “action” to take, but when it is connected to this inner knowing it feels active to be in a waiting, allowing space.
Being mindful opens the door to seeing in multiple dimensions and distinguishing different currents of information simultaneously, which creates a space to understand each separately and see how each affect the other.
Copyright, beth gineris, turning Me to we: the art of partnering with mindfulness, 2013.

YOU can Gather support from the natural environment.

internal guidance systemMeditate, create art, work in the garden, exercise, walk through nature, in reconnecting with the tapestry of life you can see the support there as you offer shift in consciousness to your human community.

Shed your skin, Trust your heart-centered, inner guidance IV system.  Live your life fully and allow your full, big self to be present in the tapestry of life.  You may experience a new Alignment within you, around you and between you and source. in love and light, bg

Find out more in my new book,Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your  Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Aligning with your true path, your true self  with your multidimensional sight allows for healing. 


Leave a comment

Empower your child through modeling authenticity, strength, and security.

Practicing mindful meditation on a daily basis changes the interchange between your inner tripartite mind.

sigmund freudYour tripartite mind was identified by Freud where he observed that decisions were made through an inner interaction between your inner id: primitive wants and desires, your inner rule holder, your superego and your inner mediator, your ego who looks for ways to make both the id and the superego happy.  Too much emphasis on the id ruling your decision-making and you end up being a person who is self-centered, not very good at negotiating with your peers and in general a taker in society.  Too much emphasis on the superego ruling your decision-making and you end up being a bit bossy, rigid, and not very good at navigating in relationship.  While the balance is found in emphasizing the ego’s role of balancing inner needs and society’s rules.  Mindfulness is a fantastic way to empower the balancing aspect of your tripartite mind, the ego.  ( In general, those who are encouraging mindful meditation reference the selfish and rigid aspects of the mind, (id and superego) by calling them the ego – so it can be confusing.)

Mindful meditation It increases your ability to respond in real-time and allow your instinctive sensory connected cues to guide you rather than your habit reaction patterns reactivity. This allows you to increase your internal sense of empowerment, inner sense of strength and your inner security.

This is a powerful lesson in parenting.  To teach your child to develop his or her authentic sense of self you free up an inordinate amount of defensive energy so that he or she can simply allow the flow of life to create and innovate and be happy. But it has to start through your action.  What you model is the first lesson taught to your child about health and inner strength, security.

strength comes from will - M. GandhiWhen you model mindful action and respond to tragedy and difficulty with joy, patience, mindfulness, and a sense of inner security, you offer a specific model to help your child develop his or her own sense of inner strength and security.

Forgiveness, mindfulness, and focus on what matters are important keys to this process.

Here is an example of this process of modeling in action.  This happened as a result of my authentic modeling of powerful inner security and acting in a way that moves a situation forward.

Several years ago, when my daughter was five years old, I was writing an important lecture for my continuing education class at a community college.  I was close to completing the project.  I had a time-crunch and was working quickly, at my kitchen table while my daughter was drawing next to me. I thought I was saving the project.  I had just completed some important slides wherein I had created some complicated graphs about the power of mindful meditation and it’s effects on the brain.  So I had added statistics, information and graphics of the brain.  I was completing slide 65. When I went back to send it to my colleague at the university I only had 30 slides.  35 slides had been lost.  This was a disaster, as the information was due in two hours so that it could be printed for the participants.  I had lost two days of work. When I realized my situation, I had a shortness of breath.  I looked on my desktop and in other areas to see if the slides were available on the computer elsewhere.  I was unsuccessful in finding them anywhere.  So I emailed my colleague to let her know the situation and sent the slides I still had saved.  My daughter observed my behavior and my demeanor.  What she heard me say was, I don’t want to waste my time getting upset, as it wouldn’t help me with my problem.  I sat back down and restarted writing the slides. I was able to finish the project in 90 minutes, because I focused on the process with faith and inner security that I could do it. It was logical as I was only redoing what I had already done, so it was not going to take the same amount of time as it did when I was creating the original slides. Maintaining a sense of mindfulness and letting go of my negative emotional response I had more energy to get it done. The slides went to the printer in plenty of time and the conference was a hit.

But here’s the important part of this story.

Two days later my daughter was working on her computer to draw a picture for her friend for her birthday.  She worked on it for an hour.  She was bringing it to her friend’s house for her birthday that day.  Just as we were getting organized to leave she went to print the picture and there was nothing to print.  She had forgotten to save the final product. My five-year old daughter looked at the blank page and rather than crying or throwing a tantrum or making a big deal she said, I don’t want to waste my time on getting angry, I’m just going to go back to the computer and redo it, just like mommy did with her seminar.  She returned to the computer and did another picture, she didn’t have as much time, but she was happy with her gift.

A sense of Power is derived from inner security, and inner strength.  It requires confidence and clarity.  When you feel insecure, or confused you feel powerless.

  • Pay attention to your feelings to assist you in releasing that which no longer serves you.
  • You may need to forgive before you can let go.

Anger is an important part of survival.  It links with fear and energy to survive.

The limbic system is the part of the brain that reacts to the physical world reflexively and instantaneously, in real-time, and without thought. This is based on previous experience and a number of pathways set up through habit reaction patterning.  This causes individuals to automatically act in specific ways that over time are against their best interest.  Freud called this repetition compulsion.

Freud identified that humans had a compulsion to repeat specific negative experiences in an effort to change the outcome.

Buddhist thought identifies that mindfulness allows a person to delay that compulsion to react and offers an opportunity to respond to the specific instance in play.  When one does mindful meditation consistently the meditator increases his or her ability to mindfully respond.

There are studies that show that mindful meditation changes the shape and lighting up of the amygdala and hippocampus such that there is an increase in the attitude of altruism. This increases the chance for collaborative, mutually positive mindful response to situations and reduces that automatic firing of reactivity that causes defensive reactions.  The Amygdala integrates emotional meaning with perception and experience. The hippocampus integrates short-term memory storage and retrieval.  All of these physical activities within your brain are shifted to the positive through mindful meditation.  This allows for a shift from reactivity to proactivity.

When you model the practice of mindful action, meditation, thoughtful compassionate action you are changing the world around you through your positive effect on those closest to you.  Your children will reap the benefits of this behavior and you will promote the development of inner power, security, authentic action and social change on a core level.

lao tzuThis social change will be away from propaganda and an external locus of control through popularity and following the outside push of reactivity to an internal locus of control, a sense of empowerment, security, inner strength, resilience and overall spirit-mind-body health.

Children learn through modeling.

As they grow and develop, they say what they heard and do what they saw in childhood.

Sometimes that means they develop the same inconsistent words and actions they observed in they youth.

Make your best efforts to be congruent, or to discuss the conflicting beliefs you hold. Help them understand the multi-layer aspects of decision-making so that they can find their own personal, congruent beliefs.

Practice compassionate understanding and compassionate discipline, lovingkindness, forgiveness, courage, inner strength, and bravery.   Modeling these shows them a way to stand up to the propaganda and simple answers they are bombarded with through marketing, and divisive political activities so they can create authentic multilevel personal solutions to the difficult problems in their communities.

Parenting is more than providing the physical support needed for children to grow. It is important to offer protection and support to develop their spirit and mind as well.  A healthy spirit in a child will lead to mindful action and physical health.  A healthy spirit is one where children have flexibility, resilience, inner strength, courage, bravery, compassionate understanding, inner drive, and a sense of connection to the fabric of life. in love and light, bg

Being in the environment, modeling care of plants, animals, forests, oceans, and that the earth and its inhabitants are all connected as one is the most powerful way to bring us all together as one community and create a sense of unity.

Gather support from the natural environment.

internal guidance systemMeditate, create art, work in the garden, exercise, walk through nature, in reconnecting with the tapestry of life you can see the support there as you offer shift in consciousness to your human community.

Shed your skin, Trust your heart-centered, inner guidance IV system.  Live your life fully and allow your full, big self to be present in the tapestry of life.  You may experience a new Alignment within you, around you and between you and source. in love and light, bg

Find out more in my new book,Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your  Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Aligning with your true path, your true self in your multidimensional self allows for healing. 


Leave a comment

Aligning your multidimensional field, Reiki energy symbols

In the early nineties, I had the great experience of working and training with two powerful Reiki practitioners in Albuquerque, NM.  After several years of interaction, training, and practice, I began to use these healing skills to assist others in shifting the unseen fields around them, as well as their cognitive habits that interfered with their growth. This training deeply informed my natural Medical Intuitive ability.  It gave form and structure to the information that I had received and intuited since beginning my therapy practice, and allowed me a process to share this information more effectively.

This was the beginning of a long journey of developing myself as the vehicle for change, so that not only did I have access to my words, cognitive headstands, care, mindfulness, compassion, and stillness, I also had access to healing via energy exchange with my hands.

Long before I had read a book called Joy’s Way (W. Brugh Joy, MD, 1979).  I knew that what he described in his book, was what happened in therapy with my clients and patients.  I could feel other’s pain, or emotional energy, negative or positive; I was affected by the energy of spaces; and I had strong time-space continuum experiences of previous lives with the people with whom I came into contact.  I noticed if I asked, an answer would come – a knowing.  I could see problems in spaces by simply asking to see the space and look for negative energy. I learned later this was called remote viewing and remote clearing; and that my knowing was like channeling, or a form of clairvoyance.  But for me it was simply natural, like breathing.  Actually for a long time it was more trouble than helpful, because I knew things about others that they didn’t precisely know themselves.  It created lots of trouble in personal relationships, as you might imagine. And because I could feel other’s pain, I felt a lot of pain in me.  It took some time to discern what was me and what was other.

chakra mantrasHe discussed how he saw, felt the power energy centers in the hands, and feet, splenic area, knees, elbows and hips, as well as the chakras in the multidimensional field of his patients.  This was a way in which he could assist them in their healing.

(This was not his image, but offers information about the energy fields).

I used the long distance technique solely until I received my Doctor of Oriental Medicine License in 2005.  And today I continue to find the long distance technique as most supportive and healing as it allows individuals to have access to the healing energy at any time.

This has made me into a lovely healing channel for those who find their way into my office.  You can read about my experience finding my husband’s cancer in a previous blog, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/05/26/instinctive-knowing/ on this site or my book Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness book (2011)

I found the Reiki symbols were very helpful at increasing my sensibilities and focusing my compassion and care with the elevation of Universal Love.  And I found the principles as profoundly valuable:  reiki 1

In 1995 Diane Stein wrote a book called Essential Reiki in which she printed the powerful Reiki symbols. Previously these symbols were only received at attunements, after study and practice with a Reiki practitioner. It was a big deal among practitioners that she chose to do this. I felt it was a great opportunity for many more people to be inspired by the power of healing their etheric, emotional, and cognitive fields allowing for a new alignment with spirit.

Since that time I have used the symbols to help others increase their connection to Universal Love.  Reiki energy is pure healing energy, it connects to Universal Love. It cannot be used for something negative; this is to say one cannot use the symbols to increase their power to do something harmful.

I use the symbols to protect my daughter as she leaves for school, or when she is away from me.  It allows her to be surrounded by positive energy and assists her to remain mindful, connected to source.  I did this for Max when he was younger and I feel it helped him through many difficult times.

Here are the symbols: The top symbol is called  ‘cho ku rei‘. It is the Power symbol in that it empowers the person and it empowers the other symreiki 2bols. The next one pictured is called ‘sei he ki’. It assists in clearing emotional trauma or incorrect thinking.  You can use this symbol in conjunction with a positive mantra, like I am loved, and then follow that statement with the power symbol.  The third symbol is called the ‘hon sha ze sho nen’ and it is the tree of life symbol it connects heaven and earth, it is used for long distance healing and to assist in proper alignment to the person and the chakra system.

To use the symbols they are drawn either in the air or on paper from left to right and top to bottom, then the name is stated three times (in your head or out loud).  The you may say the mantra three times and then draw the power symbol to empower the mantra and symbols.  With the tree of life symbol again it is drawn left to right then top to bottom, like a painting, the name is i=said three times and then the power symbol is drawn.  The power symbol is drawn from right to left then down and around clockwise to increase power or turn on the light switch.  (Diane Stein offers information in her book about the power of clockwise and counterclockwise drawing of the power symbol.)

I encourage you to use these for yourself. At first, to understand, and increase, your understanding of how they assist you before using them with others.

One of the best ways to assist you in elevating your consciousness is to choose to follow one of the Reiki principles above, by saying for example, “just for today … and then complete with one of the principles above like…. “Just for today, I will not anger”.

Witness yourself as you go through your day.  By choosing to not anger, you may find more opportunities to practice than normally…and you may also see new avenues for dealing with conflict, disagreements and interpreted injuries, so that you have the opportunity to see anger as an alarm that a boundary has been crossed, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/01/20/befriending-anger-to-increase-happiness/ or that you are caught in a habit reaction patterning  https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2012/09/09/anxiety-and-the-development-of-ineffective-habit-reactions/ allowing you to shift your perspective, use your mindfulness, elevate your consciousness, and experience increased compassion, understanding and healing.

You may experience a new Alignment within you, around you and between you and source. in love and light, bg

Find out more in my new book,Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your  Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Aligning with your true path, your true self in your multidimensional self allows for healing.