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4×4 Habits 2 Health, week 3 Create Space for Breath

Breathing in Breathing out..
Seems simple enough, right?
True we are all breathing in and out right now.
To Create Space for Breath has more to do with conscious breathing – Inspiration and Letting go of that which does not serve…not only from a physical point of view, spiritually, and emotionally, too.

Practice this right now.
Take a deep breath. What happened – did your chest expand? Great.
Now take a breath in and think about breathing deep into your lower lungs, so deep that your belly expands out… Great!
Now, what do you notice is different between your chest expanding breath and your belly expanding breath?
Write down the differences…describe whether you feel your heart rate increase or decrease; whether you feel more or less relaxed; whether you feel a deeper sense of calm or a readiness to react; describe which allows a focus on your external or internal environment.

Okay. Now that you have your own personal experience on paper you can consciously practice the type of breathing you feel brings you to your center, increases your awareness of your internal sensory guidance system, releases anxiety, and readies you to respond mindfully.

Mindful breathing can help you discern what is you and what belongs to another.  Check out this post for more detailed information about the power of discernment and conscious breathing,  https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/02/09/centering-and-breath-focus-on-connection/ .  Another post that really describes the flow of energy through breathing and ways to dispel left-over negative energy in your body is this blog, from March 2010 and reblogged last year, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/03/11/energy-breath-and-balance/

Why focused breathing? Because it puts you back into the driver seat of your life.

Shallow, automatic breathing actually keeps you disconnected from the now.  Focused, conscious, mindful breathing brings you back into the center of your being; it allows you to choose How you want to Be in the world; How you want to respond in a given situation. By centering you in the now, you are able to discern what you want to keep in our life and what you want to release.  It cuts through anxiety and fear to a quiet inner locus of control that allows your personal sensory guidance system (your five senses and intuition) to guide you through any labyrinth.  You may look at this recent blog for even more information about the relationship between will and breath, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/07/18/the-space-between-mindful-breathing-and-will-staying-within-the-threshold-of-calm-strength/ .

And for any of you healers out there, this is my favorite blog about the importance of stillness, breath, and being a healer,  https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2012/02/14/focus-your-energy-and-breathe/ .  Breath allows you to focus your energy and create the space for healing, yours as well as other’s.

As part of your 4×4 Habits 2 Health, Breath is one of the powerful keys to changing your world; to change you from the inside out.

Yoga can be a powerful tool to increasing your positive relationship with breath and your body.

Choosing to create space for breath includes creating the Habit of breathing through your fear, your anxiety,  your stress.

Begin each day with three deep relaxing, belly expanding breaths.  You may follow this with a more entailed breathing in and breathing out session for five minutes (if you do this remember to make your inhalation shorter than your exhalation, so breathing in for a count of 3 and breathing out for a count of 5)  Or 9 sets of Sun Salutation A, see this blog for how to do that: http://www.yogitimes.com/article/re-balance-healing-healer-life.

OR through a sound toning and breathing session, see this blog for how to do that: https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/05/06/sound-healing-2-feel-the-vibration-allow-the-shift-elevate-your-consciousness/ .

Create the space to breathe and you will notice a whole new way of being in your life. Apply this to the map you have already created to focus your energy even further and create healthy habits NOW. breathing in love and light, sending it your way, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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focusing on mindful living leads to spirit, mind, body health

Hello and welcome:

I was asked last weekend to give a lecture at the ABWA, American Business Women’s Association, New Mexico Fiesta on Turning the Triple Play – Keeping Life in Balance.  Here are some of the important tidbits I shared with the 40 or so attendees.

If you want to be successful in the three arenas of your life, self, family, and business or work, then you will want to follow develop these 4 Habits:

Habit 1: SPIRIT meditation, Breath, prayer

Meditation, Prayer, Breath daily or twice daily to redirect and refocus your energy, attention, and intention.

This connects spirit, mind, and body, increases access to your balanced core self and increases your ability for critical thinking, flexibility, and quick responsiveness.

Belly breathing alone can reset your cells, mood, emotion, realign and center you.

Brain scans on long-term meditators show that regions associated with attention, self-awareness and sensory processing are thicker in meditators, and that this can offset age-related cortical thinning: “evidence for … cortical plasticity” (Lazar SW, Kerr CE, Wasserman RH, et al. Neuroreport. 2005;16(17):1893-1897).

“The regular practice of meditation may have neuroprotective effects and reduce the cognitive decline associated with normal aging.” (Pagnoni G. Cekic M. Neurobiology of Aging. 2007;28(10):1623-7).

Evidence found as a result of mindful meditation: Increase in cortical thickness in areas assoc. w/ attention, interoception, & sensory processing such as prefrontal cortex and right anterior insula, using this network to attune to internal senses via the social neural circuits involved in interpersonal attunement, including the middle prefrontal regions, insula, superior temporal complex, and the mirror neuron system – all from mindful meditation practice AND more positive Amygdala responses:  positive affect regulation by optimizing prefrontal cortex regulation of the amygdala. AND Left sided anterior activation: develop tendency toward positive emotional responses & approach /reward oriented behavior, (which aids in decreasing symptoms of depression and anxiety)(Applied Mindfulness Current Psychiatry Vol8.no12p40 2010).

Consider the power of the serenity prayer:  release what you cannot control, shift what you can control, discern the difference

Any of these activities can increase your spiritual meditative connection : Soothing/meditative music; Meditative walking,running;  hiking, dancing; yoga practice; Prayer; Gardening.  Any activity that brings mind/thinking to neutral and offers a spiritual connection with whatever feels spiritual to you

Habit 2: MIND release anger,reduce stress

Address anger and frustration early to extinguish them from your daily routine. Paradigm shift, Forgive, Be compassionate, Be Mindful

Understand Anger’s role: The Alarm aspect, your sensory guidance system: Alert, Respond, Clear

Step out of your Survivor scenarios and Habit reaction patterning – if you want more information about these and how to do that search this site with these phrases, I have written a lot about them – or you can read my two books on mindfulness in parenting and partnering see link below.

Befriend your Anger.  Discover what messages it is giving you, which boundary has been crossed and then see if you can reset your internal alarm system and let it go but releasing it and taking the required action.

Focus on the attitude of Gratitude.

Ways to reduce stress and release anger include: Inverting misbeliefs and focusing on what you want rather than what you fear.  Breathing through until you can reset yourself and be mindful.  Using mindful communication.  Practicing yoga. Journaling to investigate underlying issues or to dump worries.  Using a time-in or stop, look and listen method, thought stopping, and EFT.

Activate the power of gratitude and Forgiveness

Prolonged stress (and unresolved anger) leads to wear-and-tear on the body (allostatic load) Mediated through the Sympathetic Nervous System; Allostatic load leads to:  Impaired immunity, Accelerated atherosclerosis, Metabolic syndrome (hypertension, high cholesterol, type-2 diabetes, central obesity), Bone demineralization (osteoporosis), and Chronic stress can sensitize the brain for the later development of depression (McEwen BS. Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2004;1032:1-7).

Mindfulness practice increases:  Neural plasticity, Immune modulation, Anti-inflammatory, Enhancing immune function, positive Behavior/ lifestyle change, Improvements in sleep, Rumination reduction, and General wellbeing (Ivanovski B, Malhi G. Acta Neuropsychiatrica 2007;19:76-91).

Habit 3: BODY Eat, drink, sleep, exercise

Eat whole foods that are grown or cared for in a humane loving way, are primarily prepared by you or someone you love, and look like a rainbow to support your physical health.

Drink 3 liters of water a day, more if you exercise or live in a dry climate.  Water, not tea, or coke, or coffee etc…H2O positively helps with your cellular health. It positively affects your cognition, heart, electrical gastroenterological, kidney-urinary, and immune system – WOW, right?!

Water is profoundly necessary for your body systems and mind to work efficiently, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2908954/

Your hydration needs are affected by your exercise habits, the altitude at which you live, whether you are menstruating, and your personal system imbalances ( ie: slow digestion, toxicity, meds etc)

Exercise 1 hour a day for maximum health if you are not currently doing this, move up to it slowly to build your muscles and systems in a healthful way. Begin with 20 minutes every other day then move to 15 minutes daily, then 30 minutes every other day and them 20 minutes daily, until you make it to 60 minutes a day.  Choose an exercise regime that suits you, holds your interest, brings in fun.  Positive Benefits of Yoga -> reducing depressive symptoms, and inducing remission in mild to severe depression in depressive disorders – WOW! (Current Psychiatry Vol.8,No10,p39-47).

7 benefits of exercise:  1/ Controls weight, 2/combats health conditions/diseases heart, cholesterol, breath capacity, strength, cognition, 3/improves mood, 4/boosts energy, 5/promotes sleep, 6/increases interest and capacity for sex, 7/ fun – creativity, healthy competition, focus, endurance, social, widens interest. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise/HQ01676 .

Sleep 6-8 hours a day.  Sleep is the most powerful health promoter! It balances your brain, blood, spirit, reduces pain and inflammation.  Don’t ignore it!  Sleep is the great neutralizer and reformer.

Sleep plays an important role in learning and memory consolidation.

Sleep deprivation can result in memory loss and diminished fine motor and cognitive skills; can impede response time in crisis situations and increase psycho-emotional problems.  Lack of sleep can increase pain experience.

sleep 7-9 hours each night/get to sleep by 11pm.  School-age children need 9-10, Babies/Toddlers require 12-14 hours of sleep; Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep. For kids sleep debt can lead to an increase of restlessness, attentional, oppositionality issues

Sleep affects Cognition, learning, health, experience of pain & stress; it benefits your Spirit, Mind, and Body: http://www.mindfulparentingmag.com/2012/11/29/the-importance-of-sleep/

Habit 4: the power of community, rejuvenation, and networking

Connecting, collaborating, networking, and groups offer a special kind of balance.  Finding a space to belong, share struggles and get support increases your power in maintaining the balance in these four habits.

Studies show that women respond to stress with tend and befriend.  Connecting in ways that help with self growth and rejuvenation, work interests and social endeavors through focusing on learning or maintaining knowledge helps keep your mind healthy.

Focusing on groups that sustain your body like exercise groups or training or food.  And connecting with spiritual outlets will keep you centered and grounded.

See how you can institute these four habits today.  Enjoy, enlighten, and inspire your self, and your life in every aspect of it,  Namaste. in love and light, bg

Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON:  The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013.  www.bethgineris.com


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Anti-oxidant living: Choose a path that brings you joy, in every interaction

Hello and Welcome.

Anger, fear, discouragement, and insecurity have oxidative properties to your spirit, mind and body.  When you choose a path that brings you strength, empowerment, joy, and confidence you are creating anti-oxidant properties that regenerate your cells, your thinking power, and your spiritual health.

This is a natural outcome of mindfulness and mindful meditation, focused breathwork, and heart or breath-led yoga practice.

I have a neighbor who cannot let go of any perceived injury.  She plots and plans to get back at any individual who in her mind has ‘injured’ her.  These perceived injuries feel very painful to her.  Her face carries the look of a person who has been in battle for many years; deep furrows between her brows as if in a perpetual frown, loose skin that has deep furrows around her mouth make her look as if she is angry when she is at rest.  Strangely, or perhaps understandably because she is always looking for injury, she has difficulty with any service professional who comes into her home… either she feels they are cheating her or they overcharge her or they do not correctly complete every job assigned.  This spills off onto the constant negative, fearful energy of her constantly, fearfully barking tiny dog who seems to be in a constant panic attack.  This woman actually has a great deal of prosperity in her life which she appears to not receive any comfort from.  She owns her home and another rental (of course her tenants are always taking advantage of her from her perspective), has a good job and a nice retirement pension coming her way…. yet she is not happy – she is rich in things but poor in her sense of wealth and her style of relating in the world.

This is an example of how the oxidative energy of vengefulness, anger, and dissatisfaction are wearing away at her wellbeing.  She cannot experience the comfort she actually has, and her face and body show the signs of advanced aging so that she looks older than her years.  Even when she chooses to smile the anger and dissatisfaction comes through.

This kind of energy so close to my own home can be destabilizing.  It can spill off onto my space and my interactions.  The first step in dealing with such a being is to remember that defensiveness ties you into the negative path, so use the verbal aikido methods of deflection of the tone and negative behavior, deflation of the negative energy, and then definition of how you desire to act regardless of her actions.  This is choosing the path that brings you joy

Regardless of another’s choice you are free to choose your own way.  If another indeed is harming you or injuring you with his or her actions, taking a step to set it right is good.  Do so with a lack of vengefulness or anger in your ideation, intention, and action.  This will keep your cells vibrant, your face and voice and heart glowing and bring prosperity to you.  This is healthy living and results in vibrant health in your spirit,mind, and body.

If you have been drawn in to a difficult relationship.  Give yourself a chance to re-choose and to set your intention on this joyful path.

You can always choose a different path, a different response.
Consider this if you are feeling discouraged with previous choices which turned out less than well…
When are able to act in this loving responsible way, even saying you’re sorry when you make a mistake and resetting your plan, you teach your children to be resilient, flexible and truly responsible… and you build your own inner resilience.

Choose this anti-oxidant style of living in every interaction and you will see the positive results in your health and wealth… you may even be able to turn back the hands of time in how you are aging.  Namaste, in love and light, bg


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Listen without attachment, Hear truth

Hello and Welcome!

Listening is an active process.  It is active in that it requires focused attention and neutral or accurate interpretation.

Hearing is a function of this process of focused, unattached listening.  Meaning is the by-product – it is what you hear.

When you listen fresh, and without attachment, you free yourself to hear the meaning sent versus your internal negative dialogue or grandiose spin on either the speaker or your self perceptions.

What you hear reveals information about yourself when you hear through the filter of this inner dialogue.

In addition when information is heard through this inner dialogue filter, what another hears you say has more to do with him than with you.

There are levels of information sent in communication.  This can be clarified and understood in context when your own filter is removed.

Knowledge is not an inaccurate filter.  So that placing the message sent within the context of the sender allows you to accurately interpret the sender’s meaning.

The personal filter through which you hear can interfere with your capacity to do this, your capacity to be neutral.

Fears, misperceptions about yourself such as insecurities or historical relationship information that do not apply to the current relationship are all filters which will interfere with accurate hearing, and will result in inefficient meaning making.

Follow these steps to create clarity and move yourself into a neutral posture for active listening.

  1. Be open to clarity. Clarify what you heard – Repeat what you heard including the hidden message, and request if that was the message sent.
  2. Be neutral – face your inner fears, inner insecurities, and inner mis-perceived paradigms or pictures by questioning yourself about their veracity.
  3. Utilize an integrated listening and hearing system – integrated spirit, mind, and body.  Do this by paying attention to what you feel, sense, and experience when listening to the message.  Does the information feel right in your heart, does it cognitively go in straight, do you have a physical catch or block to the information?.

Your spirit, mind, and body sensory guidance system guides you to the truth – it cuts through the internal negative or grandiose dialogue and allows truth to be revealed instantly when you are willing to actively listen and remain mindful and present.  This is a type of listening with your third or inner ear.  It is a hearing, feeling, knowing experience.  It is multidimensional in that you know it in your mindfulness or unattached cognitions (understanding), feel it in your body (a sense of flow and ease) and hear it in your heart (a sense of ringing true).

Being present, connecting to listening, and the information, in a present-moment way that incorporates what you know (but discards insecurities, historical patterning in your relationships,  and what you fear) is listening without attachment.

This uplevels your consciousness, truth is revealed and you may take action from an enlightening and powerful place to create relationships and environments that are prosperous. in love and light, beth


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Know thyself, know your partner, use mindfulness

Hello and Welcome!  Partnering is one of the most important and trickiest of ventures.  I have been watching partners break apart for years but recently I have been noticing an interesting pattern.

Agreements are set down in relationship, I’ll do this for you, you do this for me.  This is part and parcel to developing partnerships.  These can be explicit or implicit but they are there.

Pay attention to what you agree to implicitly.  When relationships break apart the more the agreements were implicit the more there is disagreement about the agreement.  The less spelled-out, clarified, identified the equation of exchange,  the more each party puts his or her own spin on the particular exchange components/expectations.  This is especially true in partnerships where one party gets a lot of recognition for what perhaps both parties are doing.

This is usually a power exchange.  I will do this to promote you and you do this to promote me.  The one who doesn’t get the recognition feels betrayed but it is difficult to really get to what the true exchange was.

These agreements may be spiritual, emotional, or physical.  Problems develop on both sides, if the individual who gets more recognition is truly depending on the less-recognized partner to make it happen, that person stops doing what is required or leaves and takes that work with him, then, the person who is getting the recognition is left unable to move forward and looks a bit like a fraud.

From the less recognized perspective if the person getting the recognition is able to use that to move into another position and doesn’t take the less recognized partner with him, then, the person who has actually been doing the work may be left with nothing.

The place where this is most painful is when someone is exchanging his hard work to simply receive love.  This is a more spiritual agreement that is broken and injures the person who sees the love leave with the partner.

Identify what you see, feel, hear, want to give and get out of the relationship.  When creating partnerships, avoid making assumptions that you and your partner have the same understanding about your participation and outcome.

Know yourself, know your partner, use mindfulness.

  • Be prepared to have a full and complete conversation about what you desire from and give to the partnership.
  • Look underneath the surface of what your partner is offering – pay attention to what you see has happened previously with that person, in relationship.  Do not presume that if he has historically abandoned his partner that he will be different with you – unless you are aware of a fundamental experience in that person’s life that supports a fundamental change in relating.
  • Personally evaluate your true intention and agenda in the partnership.
  • Be open to the fact that you and your partner are dynamic and therefore your, or your partner’s, needs, expectations, and capacities may change over time.
  • Keep the conversation going, check in on a quarterly basis and make adjustments.

These actions may not keep the partnership going, but you will have a dissolution when and under circumstances that promote your and your partner’s health rather than injury.  in love and light, beth


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Collaboration, coolness, and the evolution of consciousness

Hello and Welcome!  In Hippies, Hipsters and Hypnotic distortion, blog 6.11.12 two important tips were discussed in assisting your children by instilling your values and maintaining open communication lines,  the third tip is to consider how dynamic society is.  This means that as generations grow they effect change and are faced with different issues to tackle and work through then those previous.  So movement forward will be a multilevel combination of values, expectation, experience, opportunity, and survival/thriving requirements.

Because of the growing global interconnections of society, even basic ideas of how to proceed may require an internal focus within yourself, and your child’s environment, to uplevel consciousness away from the concept of competition for limited resources to a form of collaboration and movement through issues with a win-win perspective.

A shift toward collaboration isn’t taking something from the one who has it and giving it to the one who doesn’t but rather seeing our whole community as one world and each person finding his or her place within the teamwork and framework of collaboration and then working together to actually create equality and equity from an internally focused and guided collective of truth.

The next level of consciousness includes a re-invention of how Cool, and Hip are developed in society – a shift to placing this identification solidly  within the quadrants of what is valuable and valued – away from marketing propaganda, focus on materialistic, money and fame, away from the movie-star, rock-star, politician cool – to something that will increase the opportunity for your child to create prosperity that is based in an integration of spirit, mind, and body – rather than limited resources and winning the game.

This would shift the form and idea of coolness away from ways to be in opposition from the previous generation or others to form and ideas of ways to be in sync –   health, kindness, compassion, understanding, doing the right thing rather than getting away with something.  Actually living congruently, growing our communities organically not just with natural resources shared but with collaborative intention and attention to all aspects of our community.  Children would be the center not in the narcissistic, permissive style of earlier generations but in the solid growth promoting way of creating strength and stability through dependability, interdependence and trust.

For the continuation of our planet and community, mothering and parenting deserve a higher spot on the value ladder and a more valued place in the life of an adult. Caring, acting in a compassionate manner, forgiving and understanding through compassion – eating healthfully, exercising mind, body and spirit in a holistic fashion all ways in which the human race can increase longevity , uplevel consciousness, and work toward utilizing natural resources more efficiently and effectively.

These things have to shift – Escaping in alcohol, drugs, sex not connected to the whole human being, lack of self-care, and being taken care of , and a lack of moving through the whole life cycle and relationship interchange (or pushing children into the roles of parents and sexual objects.)  These behaviors need to be extinguished through a natural internal understanding that they are not productive and not in line with what is cool.

Right now an example of what is being encouraged through the hip movement is by the time a girl is in fourth grade she is talking about sex and wearing overtly sexual clothing, – music is about sex, drugs, and crime, grabbing power however you can; the goals of young people are to be like movie stars, make money quick and buy, buy, buy.

There isn’t a sense of what is my best skill or talent – what am I here to do; – spirituality and especially the Judeo-Christian religion is out and uncool.  Doing the right thing is seen as weak.  Being kind = weak.  Doing drugs, getting high, drinking too much = cool.  Getting in trouble with the law = cool.  This pressure to be part of the group is inherent in the human psyche – to create being part of the group as damaging to yourself and unfocused with a lack of spirituality is to deny two parts of the human condition, mind and spirit to be left with only one part guiding human action body through pleasure and pain.

We need a new vision, a new set of goals, new air to breathe and definitely a new generation to lead us out of the sixties and into a new collaborative, loving, powerful strong consciousness of health and sustainability.  Change, leaning forward, and evolution are all important foci for the future but the definitions must include integration of spirit, mind and body if we are to have a society that survives and thrives.

I am really excited to see how this unfolds.  We are on the brink of creating something truly beautiful – especially if we all work together in love with mindfulness, and with compassion, and an eye to collaboration.  in love and light, namaste, beth


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your heart center links mediation and meditation

Hello.  I have been involved in a lot of mediation recently.  I think mediation is an art.  It requires an ability to listen and see with discernment.  It is part intellectual and part intuitive.  A funny equation of knowing, feeling, and being present with another to hear the subtle messages of tone, shifts in energy, and word choice.

I enjoy it as long as I can keep my right/wrong brain out of the equation.

It requires you stay in that mindful, open, compassionate place that seems often unavailable in contract negotiation, couples counseling, and problem solving.  The more I am willing to see everything, accept everything as truth to the speaker, and understand that in most situations all participants just want to be heard, cared for, treated with love, and be understood, the more I find healing, clarification, and solutions.

This place of being within requires you stand in your heart center.  From that space you can hear and see with mindful, compassionate, lovingkindness.

I find it an interesting spelling oddity that mediation and meditation have a single letter that shifts their meaning.  The letter t.  It’s like a clue about how to get where you need to go, because the letter t is a wonderful picture of the Yoga standing mountain pose, Tadasana – standing feet together, eyes lightly gazing, with your arms and hands held in a prayer position at your heart.

When mediation is done from this heart centered, focused, humbling place then the mediator is creating an opportunity for meditation.  Present moment acceptance and clarification of what each party wants from heart center, clarification of what each person means from heart center, and a centered present moment place from which to move forward.

A beautiful example of this image is represented in this picture by Rabbi Chava Bahle, her post at Yenyoga blog, Tadasana, mountain pose arriving in the present moment, gives a beautiful account of the simplicity and profound benefit of Tadasana, the mountain pose in Yoga.  See the t.  Perfect picture of light focus in the present moment from the heart.

Love, compassion, acceptance, allowing, and forgiveness are heart center emotions.  Centering your attention in the present moment, receiving information through the filter of your heart, increases harmony, understanding, and Soul-utions focused resolutions in mediation.

Mediation is not just an action in the law or business, not just an action in couples counseling, it is present in parent-child relationships, friendships, and work partnerships.  It is an action present in all interactive-relating between humans, even between species.  Our willingness to come from this centered place, this heart space increases our capacity to understand and act in ways that uplevel consciousness, increase our interconnectedness, and increase our overall harmony in living.

Since this is a daily part of living, you can begin to practice at any time.

Increase your awareness in interactions to the tone, quality, and word choice of others – pay attention to your own word choices, and tone.  Don’t just think but feel into these various qualities and practice a light attention.  Practice hearing intention not just content.  Shift yourself into a t, into Tadasana, standing mountain pose, allow yourself to hear, see, understand, through the filter of your heart.

Do this and you will find the most amazing gifts waiting for you.  Amazing threads of understanding, depths of connection, inner peace, and clarity you have been missing out on in your interactions and relationships.  The more you can be present in the now with open eyes and ears and centered in your heart, the more your life will evolve into fullness.

One letter difference, t, connects worlds exponentially….in love and light, Namaste, beth


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How to develop a practice of internal spirit-self-communication

Hello and welcome

I have the great honor of teaching.

I say it is an honor because I see teaching as a powerful responsibility that requires love, compassion, and care.  Yes of course I need to also know the material, but more than that I need to be able to present it in a way that touches the hearts and minds of those I teach.  This is more difficult than just presenting facts – it’s about presenting truth that can be incorporated into a world view and strengthen those who receive the information.

When you hear truth it has a quality of singing or ringing in key within your body, spirit and mind, all at once.  Giving you a feeling of deja vu almost, a feeling of immediate comprehension and knowing.

This is very different then being compelled toward something from propaganda.  Propaganda is seductive and alluring but it doesn’t ring true in your heart it has more of an emotional-visceral, reactive quality to it.  Propaganda is something that lulls you into a sense of righteousness or patterned behavior.  Advertising and politics are masters at using partial information or “spin”  to guide you to take action that may not be inline with your heart/spirit connection but feels right.  This feeling right is not the kind of truth that rings through to your heart/spirit.

Because of this peculiar experience of feeling right through propaganda it is important to be able to remove emotionality and righteousness from the conversation and work toward understanding, connecting and compassionate lovingkindness.

The art of seeing the world from a compassionate, neutral, and curious perspective encourages connecting with truth.  It increases the kind of seeing of truth that is not righteousness but open-minded, strengthening and graceful.

The best way to encourage this is the use of optimism, gratitude, kindness, compassion, and nurturance of ideas and growth; flexible, present moment response creates the space to open to truth in various forms through sound, word, and information.

The more you have a practice of mindfulness and meditation, breathing and prayer, internal spirit-self-communication with a quality of waiting to understand before jumping to conclusions – open-mindedness – the more you will experience truth in all your interactions.

The best form of teaching is through modeling.  Our brains are hard-wired to learn through modeling.  Living in a way that is consistent with what you value can go far to teach.

Many roles incorporate guidance, direction, teaching and strength building – managers, parents, coaches – all have the foundation of teaching at their base.  Highly effective coaches, managers, and parents share the skill of meeting their students where they are, defining their strength and limitations,  building their strengths and transforming their limitations into strengths all with compassion and frankness.

To develop these skills try the following steps:

  • Practice noticing what works.
  • Practice looking for how you agree and connect with another.
  • Practice flexibility and paradigm shifting, allow the other person’s meaning to connect with you even if how he says it is different from how you say it.  Think here of the issue of recognizing that having different names for god isn’t having different gods.  The connecting point is that both parties have a deep belief in god even if the story about how to be connected to god is different.  Connecting to the elements that agree is the best starting point for understanding and teaching or relationship.
  • Be grateful for what is great about what is happening rather than sorrowful or even sullen about what isn’t.  Practice turning things on their head, thinking the opposite, and just saying thank you.

For example if you just lost your job – being grateful is to look for how that loss allows for something new and better to come into your life.  Maybe the loss of the job allows you to learn something about yourself that is negative that you have to change so that you can be successful.

The attitude of gratitude is when you have to define what is great about something that feels negative or is a loss – simply looking from the perspective of asking the question how can this be good allows you to open your eyes to see the positive aspects.

Sometimes the attitude of gratitude is using your thinking skills to put the issue in perspective – for example if you are unhappy with a habit of your partner’s – consider what else you love about him so that you can view the frustrating habit within context.  You may find it is less bothersome or you may be able to communicate about what you don’t like without making it into a big fight.  More on how to develop the attitude of gratitude here, less attitude more gratitude, 9.2.11.

  • Reframe the energy of your “student”.  If he is willful guide his strength to help him be stronger internally rather than get into trouble.  Of if he is rebellious support the innovation rather than reinforce the reactivity.

Relationships don’t require work because there is something wrong with them – relationships require work because we all live in our separate universes that are in constant need of interpretation and definition.

Effective teaching (managing, guiding, parenting, coaching) requires care and willingness and a compassionate practice of viewing, interpreting, connecting, and translating.  Knowing yourself, allowing the dynamic process of evolution within yourself and the dynamic process of evolution in the other to be, and to be understood, and to be connected.  That is the essence of effective teaching and ultimately the essence of loving, honest relationship.

Embrace your great honor of teaching with all the wonderful beings and “students” in your life.  It will bring you immense joy and a real sense of love and connection.  Start with yourself.  More information about how to increase your internal connection can be found in an earlier article on this site, InstinctiveHealthMedicine, 8.28.10, Guiding ones beliefs and actions.

The divine spark of spirit lives in our truthful capacity to see and love one another.  Namaste, is a Sanskrit word that means My soul (spirit light) within me bows to (sees or acknowledges) your soul (spirit light) within you. ( Yoga Journal description of Namaste, Aadil Palkhivala  ) It is generally stated with one’s hands in a prayer position at one’s heart and a very slight bow of one’s head toward the other with one’s eyes closed.  It has a deeply reverent quality.

It is a statement that is often shared at the end of a Yoga session.  Yoga is seen as a medicinal and spiritual practice, not simply an exercise by those who have studied it and maintain it these thousands of years.

  • Develop a practice that allows you to acknowledge in all your actions your connection to spirit and to integrate your spirt-mind-self.  This will increase your opportunities for health and prosperity.

The practice of Yoga allows you to practice communicating with your self – mind, body, and spirit – through breath.

Any practice that is done with breath, compassion, lovingkindness, open – mindfulness, and meditation or prayer will increase your spirit-human connection so that you can align with your true self and create health and prosperity.  Meditation on Lovingkindness

I believe that human beings are spirit-humans. The idea of managing your body and mind integrated with your spirit is what is your most primary work for health and prosperity because it aligns you with your true purpose and true self, not only individually but also as a community of human beings.

  • Teach yourself the difference between how something feels right that is false and propaganda and how something feels right that is truth.

Your first step is to develop a practice of integrated internal communication with yourself and spirit – meditation, prayer, neutral observation, open-mindfulness, and breath are your best communication tools.    To find out more check out this article En-Joy Now, 12.29.10.

Namaste.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


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meditation and mindfulness, your mind’s natural anti-anxiety for attentional problems

Hello

Anxiety can feel like an internal restlessness, an irritability, a desire to avoid something and a need to distract yourself from what is in your senses, emotions,  mind, and thoughts.  It splits your focus and your energy.

This can be a conscious set of activities or an unconscious one.  It can look to another as if you are distracted, bored, inattentive, irritable, disagreeable and sometimes hyperactive.  Due to this, anxiety in children can be confused with ADD and when hyperactivity is present treated with a number od different medications.  For individuals wanting to keep their children free of medications I encourage you to look at how to decrease your child’s anxiety or stress reactions through structure, compassion development of mindfulness activities and meditation.

Attention is a combination of focus, interest, and energy.  There are neural pathways involved in attention that incorporate emotion (interest, focus, and energy)  the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala, and the hippocampus.  The frontal and parietal lobes assist with memory, attention, and behavior.  These pathways can be excited by overuse, overstimulation, and create problems with mediating fearful, anxiety provoking situations.  Some of these fearful states can be as simple as test anxiety, anxiety in social situations,  and intense worry in young children who are sensitive.

Gestalt looks at this anxious activity as a way to keep yourself out of a present moment state and uses various techniques to get you into the present.  For the most part, much of Gestalt therapy is the development and use of mindfulness.

Anxiety defined in Gestalt therapy is having your attention focused in the past or the future, with rumination about what has happened in a circulatory way or what might happen, what if, in a circulatory way.  These actions keep a person out of the present where he has actual power to make decisions and take actions. These actions are distracting and in general the person looks unfocused, bored, inattentive, restless, and defiant.  Mindfulness and meditation are present moment activities that help to quell anxiety and refocus the person’s attention.

Actions and connections in the brain happen quickly and sometimes an individual may not be aware of feeling anxious – they may feel irritable, restless, or bored but not know the etiology of their feelings.  When this happens with children, teachers and parents often respond by being more firm providing consequences for the inattention – if the lack of focus is related to anxiety then this normal response from parents or teachers can exacerbate the problem within the child and increase his anxiety resulting in more negative behavior on the part of the child.

Creating space for downtime, lengthening transition time, attending to the child’s physical stressors of sleep, nourishment (both physical and emotional) and exercise ( lack of or too much), and teaching mindfulness and meditation tools to your child are your best antidotes to anxiety and inattention.

This is true whether the underlying issue is social anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, attention deficit disorder or hyperactivity.  Structure, connection, mindfulness, and meditation all allow the child to move into the center of his world so that he can increase his internal sense of power and see from a neutral perspective.  This moves your child into a present moment so that it is virtually impossible to feel anxiety since anxiety is connected to past- or future-time concerns.  It increases the down cycle of your child’s brain so that he can incorporate new learning and integrate old information with new information – the required cycling of the brain is intense focus and down cycling for incorporation.

1.  Set up a routine for sleep, rest, exercise, and nourishment that is reasonable for your child and predictable.

2.  When transitioning from play to work wakefulness to sleep – (and vice versa), and intense activities make sure you create 20 to 30 minutes of transition time – longer when the next activity is anxiety provoking for your child.

3. Know your child.  Educate yourself on the specific symptoms your child has developed to telegraph his anxiety.  Educate him on these too.

4.  Develop specific strategies for your child to use to manage his anxiety when he notices one of his triggers or symptoms.  I.E.:  focused breathing, visualization techniques, journaling to release fears and increase opportunities for reality testing (paradigm or perspective shifting), meditation, mindfulness, and changing his environment to shift his energy.

5.  Engage other caregivers to assist your child in utilizing these strategies.

6.  Maintain clear boundaries with fair and loving, compassionate consequences.

If you have a child who has been diagnosed with ADD and is being treated with medication but still has attentional issues it may be that the medication is assisting your child with his anxiety through the “frontal lobe putting ‘reins’ on the amygdala…”  This is only covering the possible underlying etiology of the inattentive behavior and under stressful circumstances your child’s anxiety and negative behavior will recur.  According to Srini Pillay a psychiatrist and author of  Life Unlocked:  7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear (2010).  He suggests:

1. Ask yourself: If anxiety were the culprit, what would the reason be?
2. Have you tucked away any fears that you don’t know how to deal with?
3. Do you avoid situations to avoid anxiety?
4. Are you “tolerating” anything in your life, and if so, what?
5. What are your greatest unfulfilled desires and how could your dissatisfaction about this be impacting you?

If you write down brief answers to these questions, you will be well on your way to understanding the possible unconscious anxiety in your brain. If you work with a professional, ask them about his, and check to see if treating the anxiety restores your attention. Exploring this possibility in the longer term is usually what helps people find a way to deal with the anxiety. Remember, anxiety is really just “electrical energy” gone haywire in your brain. The best way to deal with random electrical energy is to make sure you are “grounded” and to make sure that there is an appropriate channel through which it can flow.

It may well be that your attention deficit disorder is actually an anxiety excess disorder. Consider this carefully before deciding on your strategy. Taking a little extra time to explore this may be worth the wait.  Srini Pillay  (2010)

Emotion, memory, attention and experience are all interconnected.

Mindfulness, meditation, and structuring your life to allow for physical and emotional nourishment, and the natural cycle of stimulus and downtime for integration will assist you and your child to deal with the complexities and stressors in life that can cause anxiety and a lack of focus.

These suggestions are helpful for adults and children struggling with inattention, distraction, lack of motivation, and moodiness that may be indicative of internal anxiety.

Practicing mindfulness, meditation, compassionate, neutral paradigm shifting to access an internal centeredness allows you to create balance within so that your response to your environment can be balanced.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


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Evolution of consciousness II

Hello

The concept of evolving ones consciousness in an intentional, distinct, and proactive method is what therapy offers from my perspective.

And doing this process can shift your spiritual consciousness to perceive the balance of spirit, mind, and body brings about the highest degree of health, prosperity and love.

The multi-level shift in consciousness allows for you to align your actions, behaviors and statements to your inner and uncensored values.

As you become aware of your feelings, your paradigms, your values and your actions you may have the opportunity to evolve your consciousness, shift your perceptions and your actions, so that in essence you are living in a completely different world.  The issue of awareness is subtle and profound.  It is not simply awareness on a sensory level but also cognitively and mindfully.

Our consciousness is our awareness on a physical wakefulness arena as well as our multilevel understanding of time and space the concept of dimensions.  Individuals who are able to have a consciousness of information or events in a time prior to them occurring are living in a dimension that includes time on a continuum; 4th, 5th or 6th dimensional awareness is another type of consciousness.

Alignment means acting or speaking in ways that portray your spiritual, moral, and perceptual values.  Sometimes called core values.

So when you are developing your mindfulness, and applying this to your actions, thinkings, and perceptions you are actually shifting your consciousness.  You are changing your perceptual world both subjectively and objectively, as well as changing how you interact with your environment and the people with whom you relate.

This is an evolution of consciousness that takes the form of a spiral inner and then outer.  First you observe a shift, then you internalize this observation, and then instantaneously you feel an internal shift that guides your outer movements and behavior.

Visualization and mindful meditation are effective tools to elucidate your core values.  These also are excellent tools to begin to create new patterns in how you relate in the world.

A visualization is a type of meditation that incorporates an inner picture of what you are either trying to shift or to create.  You begin the visualization process by going into a light meditative and peaceful state.

Using your breath you can consciously calm and balance your conscious awareness and being. Remember when you begin a meditation you want to make your inhalations shorter than your exhalations. Breathing in for a count of five and then breathing our for a count of seven is a good start.  The visualization part is what you see on the inner plane; what you put your attention to in a visual way; like seeing a beach or a special scene of some sort.

To use a visualization to shift your perspective you may use the internal feeling you get from viewing a picture of someone with whom you have a supportive, compassionate, forgiving and loving relationship to shift your experience of another negative, difficult person or  situation.

Firs, gaze upon the face of the one with whom you have the positive internal feelings, and sensory awareness.  Once, you are firmly experiencing this individual’s love and kindness you can replace the image with the problem person or situation.  The loving feeling or sensory experience from the first person can elicit a feeling of compassion, lovingkindness or forgiveness in you so that you can see the other from a different perspective.  The will allow you to have a shift in our consciousness of that person so that you can more effectively and less harmfully (personally) deal with that person or situation.

Another nice way to use visualization is to picture the shift in the person or situation; for example if you are feeling unheard by another you can go into a meditative state and picture the other person listening to you.  This helps to clear the negative imbalance around the event.  If you are feeling lost you can use the visualization to experience finding your way.

This turning the problem upside down offers a paradigm shift and the viewing of the change offers a change within your sensory experience and consciousness.

Visualization and mindful meditation offer effective strategies for shifting your awareness and evolving your consciousness.

These are intentional, distinct, and proactive method self-directed methods for releasing trauma,  shifting paradigms, and smoothing out habitual reactions.  is what therapy offers from my perspective.  These processes can shift your spiritual consciousness and increase sense of oneness and connection to others and our environment in a positive, way.

This shift in consciousness allows for you to align your actions, behaviors and statements to your inner core values;  shifting your perceptions and your actions, so that in essence you are living in a completely different world.

See you tomorrow.

Beth