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Empower your child through modeling authenticity, strength, and security.

Practicing mindful meditation on a daily basis changes the interchange between your inner tripartite mind.

sigmund freudYour tripartite mind was identified by Freud where he observed that decisions were made through an inner interaction between your inner id: primitive wants and desires, your inner rule holder, your superego and your inner mediator, your ego who looks for ways to make both the id and the superego happy.  Too much emphasis on the id ruling your decision-making and you end up being a person who is self-centered, not very good at negotiating with your peers and in general a taker in society.  Too much emphasis on the superego ruling your decision-making and you end up being a bit bossy, rigid, and not very good at navigating in relationship.  While the balance is found in emphasizing the ego’s role of balancing inner needs and society’s rules.  Mindfulness is a fantastic way to empower the balancing aspect of your tripartite mind, the ego.  ( In general, those who are encouraging mindful meditation reference the selfish and rigid aspects of the mind, (id and superego) by calling them the ego – so it can be confusing.)

Mindful meditation It increases your ability to respond in real-time and allow your instinctive sensory connected cues to guide you rather than your habit reaction patterns reactivity. This allows you to increase your internal sense of empowerment, inner sense of strength and your inner security.

This is a powerful lesson in parenting.  To teach your child to develop his or her authentic sense of self you free up an inordinate amount of defensive energy so that he or she can simply allow the flow of life to create and innovate and be happy. But it has to start through your action.  What you model is the first lesson taught to your child about health and inner strength, security.

strength comes from will - M. GandhiWhen you model mindful action and respond to tragedy and difficulty with joy, patience, mindfulness, and a sense of inner security, you offer a specific model to help your child develop his or her own sense of inner strength and security.

Forgiveness, mindfulness, and focus on what matters are important keys to this process.

Here is an example of this process of modeling in action.  This happened as a result of my authentic modeling of powerful inner security and acting in a way that moves a situation forward.

Several years ago, when my daughter was five years old, I was writing an important lecture for my continuing education class at a community college.  I was close to completing the project.  I had a time-crunch and was working quickly, at my kitchen table while my daughter was drawing next to me. I thought I was saving the project.  I had just completed some important slides wherein I had created some complicated graphs about the power of mindful meditation and it’s effects on the brain.  So I had added statistics, information and graphics of the brain.  I was completing slide 65. When I went back to send it to my colleague at the university I only had 30 slides.  35 slides had been lost.  This was a disaster, as the information was due in two hours so that it could be printed for the participants.  I had lost two days of work. When I realized my situation, I had a shortness of breath.  I looked on my desktop and in other areas to see if the slides were available on the computer elsewhere.  I was unsuccessful in finding them anywhere.  So I emailed my colleague to let her know the situation and sent the slides I still had saved.  My daughter observed my behavior and my demeanor.  What she heard me say was, I don’t want to waste my time getting upset, as it wouldn’t help me with my problem.  I sat back down and restarted writing the slides. I was able to finish the project in 90 minutes, because I focused on the process with faith and inner security that I could do it. It was logical as I was only redoing what I had already done, so it was not going to take the same amount of time as it did when I was creating the original slides. Maintaining a sense of mindfulness and letting go of my negative emotional response I had more energy to get it done. The slides went to the printer in plenty of time and the conference was a hit.

But here’s the important part of this story.

Two days later my daughter was working on her computer to draw a picture for her friend for her birthday.  She worked on it for an hour.  She was bringing it to her friend’s house for her birthday that day.  Just as we were getting organized to leave she went to print the picture and there was nothing to print.  She had forgotten to save the final product. My five-year old daughter looked at the blank page and rather than crying or throwing a tantrum or making a big deal she said, I don’t want to waste my time on getting angry, I’m just going to go back to the computer and redo it, just like mommy did with her seminar.  She returned to the computer and did another picture, she didn’t have as much time, but she was happy with her gift.

A sense of Power is derived from inner security, and inner strength.  It requires confidence and clarity.  When you feel insecure, or confused you feel powerless.

  • Pay attention to your feelings to assist you in releasing that which no longer serves you.
  • You may need to forgive before you can let go.

Anger is an important part of survival.  It links with fear and energy to survive.

The limbic system is the part of the brain that reacts to the physical world reflexively and instantaneously, in real-time, and without thought. This is based on previous experience and a number of pathways set up through habit reaction patterning.  This causes individuals to automatically act in specific ways that over time are against their best interest.  Freud called this repetition compulsion.

Freud identified that humans had a compulsion to repeat specific negative experiences in an effort to change the outcome.

Buddhist thought identifies that mindfulness allows a person to delay that compulsion to react and offers an opportunity to respond to the specific instance in play.  When one does mindful meditation consistently the meditator increases his or her ability to mindfully respond.

There are studies that show that mindful meditation changes the shape and lighting up of the amygdala and hippocampus such that there is an increase in the attitude of altruism. This increases the chance for collaborative, mutually positive mindful response to situations and reduces that automatic firing of reactivity that causes defensive reactions.  The Amygdala integrates emotional meaning with perception and experience. The hippocampus integrates short-term memory storage and retrieval.  All of these physical activities within your brain are shifted to the positive through mindful meditation.  This allows for a shift from reactivity to proactivity.

When you model the practice of mindful action, meditation, thoughtful compassionate action you are changing the world around you through your positive effect on those closest to you.  Your children will reap the benefits of this behavior and you will promote the development of inner power, security, authentic action and social change on a core level.

lao tzuThis social change will be away from propaganda and an external locus of control through popularity and following the outside push of reactivity to an internal locus of control, a sense of empowerment, security, inner strength, resilience and overall spirit-mind-body health.

Children learn through modeling.

As they grow and develop, they say what they heard and do what they saw in childhood.

Sometimes that means they develop the same inconsistent words and actions they observed in they youth.

Make your best efforts to be congruent, or to discuss the conflicting beliefs you hold. Help them understand the multi-layer aspects of decision-making so that they can find their own personal, congruent beliefs.

Practice compassionate understanding and compassionate discipline, lovingkindness, forgiveness, courage, inner strength, and bravery.   Modeling these shows them a way to stand up to the propaganda and simple answers they are bombarded with through marketing, and divisive political activities so they can create authentic multilevel personal solutions to the difficult problems in their communities.

Parenting is more than providing the physical support needed for children to grow. It is important to offer protection and support to develop their spirit and mind as well.  A healthy spirit in a child will lead to mindful action and physical health.  A healthy spirit is one where children have flexibility, resilience, inner strength, courage, bravery, compassionate understanding, inner drive, and a sense of connection to the fabric of life. in love and light, bg

Being in the environment, modeling care of plants, animals, forests, oceans, and that the earth and its inhabitants are all connected as one is the most powerful way to bring us all together as one community and create a sense of unity.

Gather support from the natural environment.

internal guidance systemMeditate, create art, work in the garden, exercise, walk through nature, in reconnecting with the tapestry of life you can see the support there as you offer shift in consciousness to your human community.

Shed your skin, Trust your heart-centered, inner guidance IV system.  Live your life fully and allow your full, big self to be present in the tapestry of life.  You may experience a new Alignment within you, around you and between you and source. in love and light, bg

Find out more in my new book,Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your  Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

Check out these videos on in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Aligning with your true path, your true self in your multidimensional self allows for healing.