InstinctiveHealthParenting4U

Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.


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…content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete

Hello and welcome,

Mindfulness is a way of living, not just thinking.  When you allow your actions, thinking, and speaking to be in congruence with each other you are living in an integrated, mindful, being state.

This is faith guided by your heart center and supported by your mind.  This faith is not a religious ferver driven by fear, control, and urgency, but rather a calm inner knowing that is balanced, relaxed and guided by love, patience, and compassion.

The challenge with being congruent is to recognize where and how you are out of sync.  Malcolm Gladwell in his book Blink, the Power of Thinking without Thinking (2005), identifies the properties of discernment fully available to you, which you ignore.  These are messages from within of inconsistencies in speaking, thinking, and action.

Practicing mindfulness offers a simple way to recognize your personal incongruence and that of those with whom you interact.  You discover this when you listen with your inner third ear, and see with your inner third eye: these reference using your integrated internal sensory guidance system, your five senses plus intuition to see, hear, feel, and know the way (Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, Gineris, 2013)

The Tao Te Ching attributed to Taoist thinker Lao Tzu, represents a guide to reorient your focus toward balance.

The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It is content with the low places that people disdain.
Thus it is like the Tao.

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don’t try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.

When you are content to be simply yourself
and don’t compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.

— Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

This last phrase is the one that speaks to me, …content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete... it speaks to me in relation to the fight being started not by the first rock thrown but by the defensive action in return….this is supported through Buddhism and Christianity to not take offense, to turn the other cheek, and by Judaism to forgive.  This lack of comparison and competition is the fastest way to move out of Me, narcissism, through I, competition into the place of We, collaboration and connection so that all people have the power and freedom to uplevel consciousness and create a space for Peace in strength for all peoples.  This is a result of the undeniable power of truth.  Truth is.  It plumbs directly into you and through your integrated system.  It has the capacity to reveal hidden agendas and incongruent beliefs.  As you allow yourself to stand in the center of your being as simply yourself you will experience increased strength and resilience and a light, calm, loving attitude toward all your relations.  This aligns you and sets your course so that you are in sync in you actions, thinking, and speech.

join me in cheerfully being simply yourself without comparison and competition and notice the respect, love, and connection you experience in your every day interactions and life; in love and light, bg

Gladwell, Malcolm.  Blink:  The Power of Thinking without Thinking.  New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2005.

LaoTzu, Tao Te Ching.  Stephen Mitchell, trans.  New York:  Harper and Row, 1988.


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Faith vs. Fear

Hello and Welcome

Being a spirit-human, challenges you in the realms of faith and fear.  Fear is what drives your lower chakra survival mentality. Faith is what drives your upper chakra thriving spirit.   This is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid (1954, 1990) and the idea of moving from Me through I to We in how you perceive your power, relationships, and environment.

You see/experience what you believe, and you believe what you see/experience.  Fair enough.

If you feel fear but desire to shift into faith you need to activate your upper chakras and balance your lower chakras.  You can do this through intentional action.  In order to shift your perception, you have to move out of fear-based, survivalistic, limited resources perspective into a joy-based, thriver, perspective of faith.  Faith being the knowing that you will be what you desire if you do not get in your own way with fear.

Faith, love, joy expand your experience; these expand your access to creation in the positive, seeing collaborative solutions, and recognition of your full power.

Fear, hate, and despair limit your experience; these diminish your access to creation in the positive, cloud/impair  your vision, and reduce your recognition of your power and solutions.

Try this simple exercise to feel the difference.

  • frown.
  • breathe shallowly
  • look for every possible negative attribute or impediment to your desire
  • read about the many tragedies and heartbreaks in making changes
  • greet others with a negative attitude certain that they will work against you; redirect yourself to the (-)
  • at the end of 24 hours of this set of actions, note how you feel – you will notice you feel constricted, fearful, small, discouraged, heavy, tired, fatigued, and isolated – you may want to eat sugar, drink alcohol, or pick a fight with our children or partner.

Now, try this simple exercise to feel the difference

  • smile.
  • breathe deeply
  • look for every possible positive action or path to your desire
  • read about the many joyful and heart-filled experiences in making changes
  • greet others with a positive attitude, certain that they will work to your advantage; redirect yourself to the (+)
  • at the end of 24 hours of this set of actions, note how you feel – you will notice an expansion, a sense of courage, feeling bigger, joyful, light, energized, and connected – you may want to eat fruits and vegetables, whole, healthy food, to juice, eat protein, and drink water; you will have more energy to understand our child’s or partner’s needs and feel they are present for you and you are more available to them.

Faith or Fear, the choice is yours.  Albuquerque skies

The outcome is defined by which you choose – which outcome would you prefer to create?  in love and light, bg

Maslow, A.H.  Motivation and Personality. NewYork: Harper, 1954.  Gineris, B. Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness. Charleston, SC: Createspace, 2013.


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Find balance, remove fight from your vocabulary, you are left with love, acceptance and negotiation…turning me to we

Hello and welcome!

Love, Acceptance, and Negotiation…turning Me 2 We… The idea is that fighting against yourself or others removes what is necessary to flow through challenging times.  The energy of fighting shifts you away from what you need, away from your sensory guidance system; removing fight from your vocabulary helps you to access precisely what you need when you need it, so that you can shift out of any painful situation to find peace, your soul-utions, and balance.

If the challenging situation is an addiction to substances, experiences, or people in an unhealthy way – then these actions help you to remain in recovery. 4 simple phrases to return you to balance and remain in recovery.  Recovery is a journey rather than a destination.

Step one is to find your way to balance.  Step two is returning to balance.  The Path to Grace is a journey that cycles between these two steps.  Listening to your sensory guidance system, led by your spirit connection.  Removing fight from your vocabulary and focusing on love, acceptance, and negotiation helps you return to balance and flow through any difficult situation.

Try these mantras to get you to and keep you on this Path to Grace.

Stop, look, and listen. It is the perfect mantra to create the neutral, present moment, open-minded perspective required for moving through roadblocks. Stop the harmful behavior; look at your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions, to discern what may be underneath your resistance; listen to you heart, tone, whole language to comprehend an underlying covert message.

The attitude of gratitude. Identify the gifts of your history, your drama, and your shift into recovery. Reaffirm your choice for health.  Focus on your strengths, reframe your limitations. The attitude of gratitude creates an inner structure of resilient positive self-esteem rooted in a solid foundation.

Focus on what you want rather than what you fear. This mindful mantra directs your attention to precisely where you have power. Things feared tend to be things unknown that are out of your control. An inner locus of control puts the resilience, power to create, and basic capacity to respond to whatever comes your way into your own hands, so that you believe, have faith and have evidence that you can create what you want.

Be the Change You Wish to See in the World. This is a phrase made famous by M. Gandhi. He was interested in major social change, but this phrase is just as useful in small social worlds. Act mindfully, show respect, be loving, and compassionate as a style of being in the world.  Live your change in every cell of your being, allowing breath, faith, forgiveness, and lovingkindness to direct your actions and personal relationships, beginning with your relationship with yourself.

Keeping these simple mantras close to your heart and mind will increase your capacity for mindfulness; it will increase your experience of compassion, harmony, and balance in living, and keep you on the recovery Path to Grace.

Namaste, in love and light, bg


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12 step program applied to parenting

Hello and Welcome!

When you feel like a failure as a parent, or have a challenging parenting situation,

apply the 12 step program 

To shift your defeat, or discouragement to courage and healing:

1.  admit you are not perfect.

2.  recognize you are powerless to be perfect at all times with every child

3.  connect with a higher power and engage that sense of spirituality to support you.

4.  honestly reflect and identify the mistakes and flaws you bring to parenting.

5.  humbly admit to your spiritual support, partner, loyal friend – your imperfection and reaffirm your commitment to do your best.

6./7.  Reaffirm your trust in yourself and your team; Be willing and ready to shift out of the habits that do not serve you and embrace more effective styles of parenting.

8/9/10.  identify injuries or mistakes you have made; say you are sorry to your kids for these mistakes; make a commitment to not do it again; stay connected, and repeat when necessary.

11.  practice compassion, meditation, prayer and lovingkindness toward yourself and your kids.

12.  be a helper to your peer parents rather than a competitor or bully; share your positive experiences with love.

  

How to help kids do better on tests.

 Prepare:  talk about what testing is and what it really means.  Testing can help you know what you are good at and where you have limitations; allow the truth to be neutralized so it doesn’t get blown out of proportion.

Discuss (in communication, parents sometimes think that what they have to say is the most important thing – it matters, but what your child thinks/feel/and wants to say matters equally).  Listen as much as you talk when discussing.  Actively listen with your third ear to what is underneath, the meaning in the content and the energy of the words.

Deflect:  shift energy away from competition, being best, pushing ahead,  and any anxiety provoking thinking equation regarding the outcome of the test.  From what you discussed in the above section you will have identified what may be causing fears or anxieties for your child – accept this, and neutralize it, sometimes neutralization means acknowledging that the thing feared may happen; talk about that and help your child understand that he or she has the ability to respond to that situation if it happens.  This teaches empowerment and response – ability; this allows your child to accentuate his strengths and deemphasize his limitations.

Define  – clarify what is involved in testing.  Try to not say it doesn’t matter and try to not act like it is the most important thing; find a balance in how you encourage your child to do his best and be proud of what that best is.  If your child really does have a learning special need – help with that.  If she’s too revved up – teach her skills to bring to neutral or move into the next gear, which means to use the extra energy efficiently:  Teach her now that it is her responsibility to manage her special character so she can use you to help learn how to do this.  If he’s spacey and distracted – teach him to develop ways to get himself focused, or more revved up for the task:  Teach him it is his responsibility to manage his special character, so that he can find a way to embrace the whole of who he is.  He may find that special character and his solution to it, is what makes him unique and this will empower him.

Know your child.  Use your knowing to help him or her be the best he or she can be.  Don’t worry about arena or group-mind.  Trust yourself and your authentic knowing of your child to be the best judge for him or her.

Here are some simple biofeedback tricks:  stare at your hand.  Tense relax.  Mantras. Song tunes for memory training.

Importance of sleep, eating, no stress, acceptance, and esteem:  these are biological, emotional, and physical needs that when off interfere with your child doing his or her best.  Do what you can to keep these in balance.

Hope this is really helpful.  in love and light, bg