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Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.


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Healing core misbeliefs

I went to a conference recently that focused on healing core beliefs.  The idea behind the conference is

“What you believe you perceive, and what you perceive you experience”

Each of us fashions our life on misbeliefs.

Beliefs we developed in response to injuries, loss, and difficult situations.

The mind puts together an equation that reads: if this then thatif there is a contest then I will not win..the belief being I never win anything.  Or I never get picked first.  Or even deeper I am not Worthy or Loved.

When you build your life on a core misbelief such as I am not worthy or I am not lovable. Your experiences lead you to this conclusion.  

Let’s check out how one might create a structure that teaches her that message over and over again.

  • With a core belief I am not worthy: You might choose lovers or partners that either don’t have the communication skills to share with you your worth; You would experience always feeling taken for granted or unimportant.
  • Or you might choose people who are so self-focused they can’t see you (such as a neurotic or narcissistic personality); You would experience that nothing you ever did was good enough so that you mattered.
  • Or you might choose people who need you to take care of them and they can’t focus their energy on you…in that instance you would have to give and give without experiencing receiving love.
  • You might choose overwhelming tasks that you could not accomplish.  Or you might accomplish many things and still feel empty after completing them

The tendency is to think the problem is with the other person.

Catch yourself, notice if there is a pattern.  Is it in all your partners, close friends, lovers?  If it is, it may be more about you and your core belief.

This isn’t to say that the other person might not have the issue you think he does.

It’s just that if you want to change you experiences you have to change your core beliefs.

It’s harder to do than you think.  It takes real courage to see how you are holding yourself back from having the love or life you want.

Usually these core beliefs are set up from a standpoint of necessity.  They are a result of injury, trauma, something that has gone wrong in your original psychosocial development.  They may have been true about that one event, but not generalizable to all of life.  Once in place they are like shorthand, if this then that.  I have to give and give, no one will ever love me just for myselfhow do I know because that’s how (fill in the blank important caregiver) treated me.  And, it’s not that person’s fault either.  

It’s a belief.

It isn’t solid or real.  It drives the mind, but it doesn’t have to drive the heart.

Go into your heart feel your beauty, your lovableness, your worth.  Love yourself first then you will experience the love from those around you …and no that isn’t narcissism, that’s the flow of life.

It comes from within first.  Then it touches on everything else. in love and light, bg

Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2016 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Discover your path, set an intention for what you want to create in your life: It’s difficult to get where you’re going without a map. 

 


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What if…part 2. Working through loss.

There was such a positive and powerful response to the first section of chapter one, I thought I would offer the second section to the chapter…please let me know your sense about it… in love and light, bg

I notice the Dean’s lips are moving, but I can’t quite make out what she is saying.
Oh good. Finally she is talking.

Involuntarily, I shivered. She was sitting right next to me, but I couldn’t really understand what she was saying; the words were coming in like an out of tune radio station, they just didn’t make any sense. And then I heard her, sharp and clear…
“Robbie is dead.” “His car went off the road Saturday morning. The police think he was killed instantly.”
The thoughts inside my head blew about me …
No!
No, he isn’t dead; he can’t be dead. I have to tell him…
I have to see him.
I have to tell him how sorry I am.
I have to tell him I’m ready to marry him.
His face flashed across my inner vision. The feelings from our last meeting crashed in my heart.

Flash. Crash!

No! I have to set this right.
I heard my words reverberate back to me. “No! No, he isn’t dead.” “No you mean he’s in the hospital. He’s just hurt; he’ll be okay,” as if I was giving her the corrected line. I couldn’t accept what she was saying.
My urgency must have been unbearable for her. Her eyes blinked with tears. Gently, her head shook no.
She reached across the space on the couch to comfort me, patting my leg rhythmically. I felt faint. The room began to spin. I fell into her chest as she continued to now rhythmically pat my shoulder. She supported me as I broke down.
Her voice unwavering, “No Beth, he is not in the hospital. He’s gone.”
He was gone?
He left me without knowing that I had changed my mind?

Our last interaction, me being such a jerk, was now unforgivable.
It hit me like a one, two punch to my stomach. He was gone, my beautiful future stolen from me. My uncaring and inflated behavior was our last interaction. It stood like a headstone marker on his grave.
Her words and my memories pierced through my consciousness like a knife through my heart. The pain was debilitating. I couldn’t breathe.
I felt at the edge of nothingness, completely powerless. I sat there deflated, like a pierced party balloon. I don’t know how long I remained in this state. When I looked up, the sun was no longer shining and the trees outside mirrored my inner storm.

I finally composed myself enough to walk out of her office.
Her secretary smiled at me weakly as I passed down the hall.
It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other; I could barely walk. I found myself at my dorm room. Thankfully, my suitemate returned to her previous muteness.

That was the only thing that returned to normal. Everything and everyone else was different. Night came and left. Day came and turned to night. Life continued around me but I was not a part of it. I felt robotic, disconnected, remote and out of sync with the whole of life around me. I couldn’t tolerate the birds singing or my friends laughing, wherever joy presented itself I turned away. Happiness grated on me like nails on a chalkboard.
I recoiled from life. Spiritless on the inside, I couldn’t even find the energy to fake it on the outside.

The image of her sweater with black marked stains stuck with me for a long time.

I numbly completed my last semester of college, in a fog, unable to concentrate on anything. Everything changed. I couldn’t bear to listen to music, people laughing, or see my friends. And it seemed they avoided me too. I was flat and lifeless; there wasn’t much there for connection.

Entire days went by without me seeing anyone.
I felt desolate, angry with myself, angry with Robbie, lonely and lost.

In the days that passed, I discovered how in his last moments of his precious life Robbie reoriented the direction of the car to save his passenger’s life. A stranger to our community, this sweet young man began to wish he had died instead of Robbie. To his face I said “no, no…don’t think that.” But in my heart I screamed, yes, yes, why do you get to live; why not Robbie. I hated myself for thinking and feeling that way. I couldn’t stop my heart pain. Life was so difficult and challenging. I was walking though water without a regulator, drowning with every breath.
That heroism was so consistently Rob’s character; he was always there at the right time, loyal and dependable when it really mattered.
Why didn’t he save himself? I was coming back for him.

Inconsolable, time passed in starts and spurts, and then it seemed to trickle by. So much of my energy went to managing my grief that little was left to relate to friends or complete my studies.

“Beth, I’m giving you this A grade because of your work here-to-for, not for the work in this paper.” The words written in red ink across the front of my final paper stung, but I was grateful for the understanding of my dearest sociology professor.
“This is sub-par work Beth, but I know this has been a difficult time so I’m giving you an A in the class anyway.” Another painful note in red from my psychology professor, I vacillated between painful prickling and numbness. I was grateful for their understanding. There was nothing inside to pull on for my studies; I was bereft of passion. There was just enough life in me to robotically go through the motions.

For the next six weeks, my senses were in a state of paresthesia; over and over my professors forgave my distracted, poor work.

Working at 20 percent, I limped into graduation.
Two months after Robbie’s death I graduated, said goodbye to my friends and school, and shut the door to my previous life.

Spiritless, I walked into my barren future. I was the skin you see from a cicada, perfectly formed with no life inside.
I filled the space with work.
Astonishingly, my logical, solution-focused father was the dearest comfort to me during that time.
Notes arrived. They slowly filled the empty space in my apartment and heart.
“Hi honey, thinking of you! Dad” staring at me as I brushed my teeth.
“Remember to get out and see friends. Dad” taped to my steering wheel. I taped them to my mirror, and used them as bookmarks. They marked my path back to life.
He had an unerring capacity to simply be present with me in my grief.
“Here’s a picture of Robbie from when he was at the house. Love, Dad” That picture became my velveteen rabbit.

One day on the phone he told me that Robbie (unbeknownst to me) arrived in my hometown earlier in the year that Robbie had died; he asked my father’s blessing to marry me.
The pictures of them together at my house simultaneously felt stabbing and comforting.
He knew I would come around. He knew I loved him.
He had to have known to fly from New York City to Albuquerque, just to see my Dad.

I kept seeing his face at that last meeting, and feeling how out of sync my actions were. It was shocking and triggered intense discomfort. Steadily though, my unconscious kept driving me toward forgiveness. Like a river pushes and pulls fragments down the current, my thoughts drove me toward forgiveness of him, forgiveness of me, forgiveness of God.

My Dad and I shared this deep love for Robbie.
“He was a good man honey. He loved you so much. I’m glad I got to know him. Keep working it will help you stay strong. You can come home any time you want to honey. Love, Dad.”
He loved you so much, stay strong, those words reverberated in my mind. It was one of the best notes I received from my Dad. I kept it in my favorite journal.

I worked by day as a law firm runner in LA and by evening as a residential counselor with developmentally delayed adolescents, teaching them independent-living skills.
I loved running by moonlight through downtown LA.
I savored my time alone. I don’t know if it was punishment or protective but it was healing. It gave me time to think, forgive, and distance myself from the intensity of what had happened. Although I did most things alone, I shared my apartment with my best friend from college. She was mostly gone working on political campaigns. I was mostly gone working. It was a perfect arrangement for healing.

I loved her so much because I didn’t have to explain what was going on with me. She knew. She loved me anyway. Other than Trish, I can’t remember making any friends.
My memories of that time are like snippets of fabric sewn together with travel along the Southern California freeways.
After fourteen months my senses came back.
Trish had to move to another state to follow an important campaign. I decided to move back to Albuquerque.
It seemed that light began to come back into my daily life.
I heard the birds singing and it didn’t make me want to yell stop. Music was inviting. I danced.
Somewhere, I found the space within me to have faith again in the fabric of Life.

Robbie’s death became a defining experience in my life. The importance of love, honesty, forgiveness, and acting in congruence with my true character became the boundaries required for health and freedom in relationship.
Ultimately, I felt my deliverance from my inner prison. Salvation lit me slowly with the realization that he knew I loved him. He saw through everything from beginning to end. I was the last to see the truth and it was too late to enjoy the love waiting for me.

I forgave myself for being immature and unthinking.
I developed an urgent need to be authentic in all my communications, a left over compulsion from that fateful night. It made me a bit intense and probably too serious.

Overtime, I befriended the ebb and flow of life and death.
I came to accept that there was a tapestry of life that I could tap into and flow with but that I had to remain sincere and accept the consequences of my actions.
If I had married Robbie, I may not have become the person I am today, leaving a hole in the fabric of the lives of those whom I have offered healing counsel. That’s how I think about it now. I walk in a state of grace, with a sense of gratefulness for the gifts I developed out of my devastating loss; grateful to have positively affected so many through that loss.

And it was from that knowing I spent my last weeks with my father as he got chemotherapy for end stage pancreatic cancer.

 

And so here is the first chapter of the book…Working through loss offers deep awareness of the tapestry of life…, how have your traumas elevated your consciousness?  Send me a comment or write one in the space below…in love and light, bg


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What if you knew this was your last day, would you change your story?

Here is the beginning to my next book…please tell me what you think in the comment section, or email me through my website, www.bethgineris.com  in love and light, bg

The Path to Grace, my life from 30 thousand feet: “Like the walls of my neighborhood seen from a thousand feet height, my life experiences create a path on the map to my life destiny.”

Chapter One: Who Knew
My last night with Robbie is seared into my heart and mind.
I was feeling bold, invincible; flirting with his friend and ignoring how it might feel to him; feeling free and without a care.
He seemed to take it all in stride. Standing there, his head tilted to one side, leaning on one foot, with that silly Cheshire-cat grin, but I could tell he was hurt underneath that unassuming demeanor.
That was my last image of him: my last verbal exchange, the defining last action in our relationship.
Later that evening, I called his home phone but the line just rang and rang.
The next morning I drove from LA to Phoenix.
He’s okay. We’ll get over it, once I get back. He knows it wasn’t real. He loves me more than anyone ever has…he will forgive me. The thoughts circled in my mind over the long drive.
During that weekend with my best friend I kept seeing his face. It started to bother me, even with all those previous reassuring thoughts on the drive. I had acted out of character for myself, so hurtful and uncaring. It nagged at the back of my brain.
He was a delightful confluence of opposites, brash and thoughtful, overly serious and disarmingly easygoing. He lived hidden in plain sight. His demeanor conveyed no trappings of materialism while his name connected him to a household name trust fund.
The nagging feeling dissolved into a powerful realization: I was avoiding stepping into the role of becoming an adult. It was obvious that we were meant to be together and now I had to take the next step, as he had long ago asked me to do. Finally, I was ready to marry him.
As I drove back, I was so happy. Everything just felt right. With beautiful images of his smiling face, and our future floating through my mind, I knew he would be ecstatic that I had come to my senses.
He is going to be so happy. It was all I could think about the whole way back to Claremont. I felt at peace with my decision to allow the strength of his love to pull me forward toward my destiny.

At my dorm suite I was met with an onslaught of paper messages posted onto my room door requesting me to report directly to the Dean of Student’s Office. My quirky suitemate who never talked with me, stopped what she was doing, looked up, and smiled at me.
How odd! I thought. Reflexively, I smiled back.
“You should go to the Dean’s office before you go to class.”
She just kept standing there staring at me. It was a little unnerving.
I brushed the back of my neck with my hand to smooth out my hair. “Yeah, okay”… I said absentmindedly, wishing she would return to not talking to me. I turned back to my door, barely stepping into my room. I dropped off my bag inside and looked around my room. It felt like something was out of place, but I couldn’t put my finger on what was missing. I grabbed my notebook for class and started out the door.
All I really wanted to do was find Robbie and tell him my decision. I felt so happy and complete.
“No really, you should go right now.” She was weirdly insistent.
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” I quickly walked out of the suite relieved to be away from her.

Inside her office my dean gently ushered me into a private room. I had never been in this part of the office before. It was nice, quiet almost, peaceful. I wonder what they use this space for, I thought.

My memory of what followed is more like a set of snapshots then a flowing movie.
She looked sad. She was wearing a fuzzy, white sweater. She invited me to sit on her couch. And then she sat down next to me. Her entire continence was warm and sweet.
Weird… I thought. She is never this nice.
I looked out the window distractedly; it was sunny, the tree leaves were gently swaying as if they were in a dance with the wind.

When I turned my attention back to the Dean, she seemed to be moving in slow motion. It was taking forever for her to say what she wanted from me. I remember feeling irritated with her.
Okay Dean, Let’s get on with it. I am kind of in a hurry here…My mind kept thinking of Robbie and how happy he was going to be. I kept visualizing the image of his face, his Cheshire-cat smile with his head cocked to one side.
Robbie is going to be so happy.
I flashed back to the first time he asked me out. It was just after my boyfriend, Chuck, had broken up with me. There he was at my door.
“Hey, you want to go out.” He smiled that smile, leaning against the door, his shoulder length hair lightly bobbing.
“I thought you were dating Nancy.”
“Not anymore, we just broke up.”
“Oh…um, okay, sure.” I was less than enthusiastic. But it didn’t seem to bother him at all.
Later, that evening I ran into Nancy and she was superbly angry. “Hey Nance, what’s up?” I spoke to her as I passed her on the catwalk.
“Are you going out with Rob?”
“Yeah, he asked me to go to the club. He said you two were broken-up.”
“Oh yeah, we are. As soon as he heard you and Chuck weren’t together he came over to me, and broke-up with me. Turns out he’s been waiting to date you the whole time. I really should be mad at you. I liked him.” She stood there staring at me, trying to look angry, but mostly just looking depressed and a little bored. “I guess that’s just the way it is.”
“Nancy, I’m sorry,” she interrupted me, “Whatever Beth. It figures. I’ll see you later.”

I smiled to myself as I came out of the memory. Robbie always knew we were meant to be together. And as soon as I finish here, I can tell him he was right.
My mind came back to the room and the Dean. I started wishing that I hadn’t listened to my quirky suitemate.
For a moment I started to think I was in trouble.
And then, I felt a little mad. Why is everyone trying to ruin my good feeling about telling Robbie about my decision? What is she doing? I want to get to Robbie’s place before class.
Bits of thoughts swirled in my head as I waited quietly for her to speak. I tried to focus. There is definitely something off about this whole thing. I really wish I had just gone straight to Robbie’s.
I notice the Dean’s lips are moving, but I can’t quite make out what she is saying.
Oh good. Finally she is talking.
Involuntarily, I shivered. She was sitting right next to me, but I couldn’t really understand what she was saying; the words were coming in like an out of tune radio station, they just didn’t make any sense. And then I heard her, sharp and clear…
“Robbie is dead.” “His car went off the road Saturday morning. The police think he was killed instantly.”
The thoughts inside my head blew about me …
No!

…..

What if you knew the act you were taking, the words you were saying was/were going to be the defining action or statement in a situation…would you want to change the story?

There’s more to come and I will share it over the next three months…Hopefully the book will be available in 2016.  It’s a great resource to understand how and why to live mindfully. in love and light, bg

 


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American ideals, Independence Day, and the Elevation of Consciousness

Seemingly it is the sixties again…from the alternative world to the mainstream news, the children of the sixties, who are now in their sixties are interpreting events to fit their agenda. It doesn’t matter if you read your astrology: the writers want to bring back the sixties, or if you watch the news: there are riots in the streets because of racism… it’s as if the children of the sixties have only one style of interpreting the events around them. Their view of the world has overtaken that of those that were in power before them (the fifties generation)…. it’s not that strange for social groups to want to create the world in their image…it’s the rhetoric which is problematic for me.  I can see their point, I see where they are coming from, the problem is that it  is out of sync out of the timespace of thinking, it limits the opportunity for true consciousness elevation. Collaboration, unity, and the understanding, true belief that we are all one world. requires ascension, it requires seeing in a higher dimension, not dualistic but multidimensionally to work toward creating that unity.

I was raised in the same set of beliefs.  I challenged my parent’s worldview.  I learned to think in a liberal environment and questioned authority. I was a strong Kennedy Liberal.

Now that the liberal perspective is the authority, the question authority challenge has to come from the libertarian or conservative perspective.

It’s a neutral theme about how to think critically.

I understand that politics is full of propaganda, but propaganda doesn’t serve the alternative community.

The alternative community is where innovation, and really holding the middle space should be coming from. Unfortunately, I see propaganda coming through in astrology readings, channelings, and fringe prediction on a daily basis.

This is my litmus test.  Once I hear or read a push toward propaganda I know that person is pushing their ego perspective not channeling from a high source.  When I channel information I am continually surprised by the level of love and neutrality and elevated information I receive and hear.  Consistently I experience the beauty of the higher dimensional systems; I may feel a negative sense toward someone in my personhood, but then when I channel from source, I hear source saying that person is light just like me…Source is not in good/bad or third dimension, source in in a dimension beyond fifth.

This may sound a little weird to my readers who are not part of the alternative world.  That’s cool, let’s look at it from a more cognitive perspective.

My world view is not that of the hippie, partly because I am just too young to have that part of my cellular structure (although I have lots of peers that have gripped that belief system), partly because I am driven toward congruence.  Which is to say if I am challenging another to be loving and kind I strive to treat that person the way I am entreating them to treat others.  That is not what is happening in the community at large from the mainstream perspective.  More often than not I observe hatefulness, superiority, righteousness, and a demeanor of superiority in my fiercely liberal friends toward their political opposites or those whom they propagandize as against their beliefs.  That feels deeply incongruent with the liberal agenda of being compassionate toward others. Whenever acting in a way outside of what you are requesting to be the action toward yourself, then you are not living in an integrated spirit self mindful space.

I was raised by a person whose life-breath was integrated compassion and mindfulness derived from his amazing intellect. This integrated spiritual/cognitive mindfulness became my natural way in the world; it became my life-breath.  In addition, I was lucky enough to not push down my sensory guidance system that results in a sensefulness knowing that connects me to other humans, animals, plants, nature and spirit in an inexplicable way,  and assists me in knowing that we are one world, one planet, one group – all.

I am an immigrant’s daughter. My people left a difficult place to make a better life. They worked hard to make that a truth. No handouts, nothing for free. Those hard life stories that aren’t a myth but reality for my people.  My father was the baby of 13 children.  His father died when he was a teenager.  He won a scholarship to university in Chicago, due to his amazing intellect, and had to forego it to work full time to support his mother.  His mother had to mortgage her home to send him to night school, which he completed in 3 years while still working.  He took care of his sisters, his mother, and his family, whenever asked.  He was the first of his generation to get a college degree. He worked hard, started five businesses, each successful, and then sent all of his children to college.  We went on to get graduate degrees, and for one of us from Ivy league Universities.  I am the child of a man who moved five social class positions in his short lifetime and then raised me with principles that used to be considered ‘American principles’.

I went to a very liberal, liberal arts college where I was taught HOW to think, not what to think, all perspectives were offered and supported, it was my job to develop critical thinking and decode for myself what mattered.  And I came back home challenging my parents’ belief systems, looking at how my country was making mistakes and believing we could make the whole world better through mindfulness, communication, compassion and care. I traveled to Europe and my continent neighbors, and I saw how countries, like people, were not all cut from the same cloth.  Different things worked successfully for different countries just as they do for different personalities.  I studied Sociology and breathed-in the understanding that culture defines and creates thinking in a way that sometimes shifts a person out of critical, mindful thinking.  I learned that you have to challenge the belief systems that ‘seem’ natural and like breathing, because those are ideas that were introjected, swallowed whole, rather than a function of critical thinking. (gestalt therapy, theory, peeling the onion,  how to create mini-cultural revolutions) I worked in the chronic mental health community and helped people caught in that community to interact more efficiently in a world that didn’t quite make sense. I interacted with and helped people in the fringe of our society, always with compassion and care.  I learned a lot about how culture, experience and dualistic thinking created the problems surrounding the American culture.

Now, I write about mindfulness and sensfulness, ecopsychology, multidimensional interaction and the elevation of consciousness.  The answer is not in either the liberal or conservative perspective, it is in transcending and including BOTH.  The answer is in integrating the diverse belief systems so that they are interacting in a positive, caring, accepting collaborative way.

How is this related to Independence day? The people who strove to change the nation were like my father, integrated spiritual people.  They made an effort to transcend the rebellious pull, to create a thoughtful design to maintain a space in the middle, to help those who show up in the nation to create a real change in how people were treated.  They were imperfect, they couldn’t change some of the beliefs that were against their spiritual knowing, so they wrote the Declaration of Independence to include what they knew to be true that all people were created equal, all had the right to life and liberty. As the years go by we create the fullness of that truth with all people, and for my mind all sentient beings on the planet and the planet herself.  There is still more work to go to elevate the consciousness of the planet.  But those men then created an avenue through the declaration of independence to offer a way to create a higher level of consciousness right here. For that reason I am proud to be an American, and through that care and love for this experiment, I am dragging in the entire human race, the animals and plants and stars, hoping that soon, very soon all can see how we are one people, one world. how wolves change rivers

From my experience with Sociology, with helping people in many different communities and cultures, we aren’t going to get there by demeaning groups through propaganda. We can do it through a real dialogue, sincerely using sensefulness and mindfulness in a multidimensional way to create a healing and an elevation of consciousness on the planet. The empathic civilization, Jeremy Rifkin

With each step you can step onto the Path to Grace.

  • It requires internally challenging your knee-jerk reactions, belief systems, and those things that trigger you to anger and hatefulness.healing survivor scenarios
  • Act from a compassionate understanding place with an ernest desire to understand your fellow and sister perspective so that you can learn and grow and clarify your own perspective.
  • Act toward others with the loving care you desire from them.  Use the golden and silver rule to guide you and the elevation of consciousness is at hand.

Not all will survive this powerful time.  Each of you can maintain your integrated mindfulness and sensefulness, and while you are learning from others, they are learning from you.  This will create the space for an elevation in consciousness. five element cleanse

Gather support from the natural environment.

internal guidance systemMeditate, create art, work in the garden, exercise, walk through nature, in reconnecting with the tapestry of life you can see the support there as you offer shift in consciousness to your human community.

Shed your skin, Trust your heart-centered, inner guidance IV system.  Live your life fully and allow your full, big self to be present in the tapestry of life.  You may experience a new Alignment within you, around you and between you and source. in love and light, bg

Find out more in my new book,Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your  Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Aligning with your true path, your true self in your multidimensional self allows for healing. 


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break down, break up, break out, breakthrough

When you feel you are hitting a wall in your relationships consider the difference in these four concepts in how you respond to the blockage.

  • Break down: it’s like a flat tire. You stop. You cannot move forward or backward. You’re in a stagnant, sometimes involuting situation. This leads to disease, disconnection, and stagnation.  Following a break down you can discover a way to break through.
  • Break up: complete disconnection. Separation. Detached, unattached. This can be very positive when there is a stalled situation that has no mutually satisfying resolution.
  • Break out: again disconnection, freeing from a tethering or prison or domination. Following a Break out you may be able to discern a break through.
  • Break through: This is an elevation. A shift in consciousness. In this phrase there is a freeing from a tethering of inner belief that is holding you back. Breaking through requires mindfulness and paradigm shifting.

If you are in a situation that has stalled, where you are experiencing a need for change or a revolving unresolved conflict…consider which of these is your best action.

I encourage you to look at the last phrase as a guide this will allow you to find new solutions to old problems.
To get more help with this please see these earlier bogs on this site.https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/06/03/feeling-gods-presence/https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2012/04/09/truth-within-inner-guidance-i/https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/08/19/how-insecurity-interferes-with-getting-what-you-want/https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2013/03/09/trust-yourself-or-if-you-meet-the-buddha-on-the-road-kill-him/ and https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2011/10/06/shifting-perspectives-my-personal-adventure/.

You can get there from here…when you use the phrase break through you have the chance of reclaiming yourself, reconnecting with your partner, and shifting the world in which you live simultaneously…how great is that? in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..  

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  Go outside, reconnect with your center with a walk in nature.  in love and light, bg


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Your way home is through…your inner light will guide you

“the conflict between the anti-american attitude of the far left of  the sixties and the beliefs of the first generation immigrants who choose America and the belief in the opportunity to chart my own course….”  Dinesh D’souza

The issues are complex.  The dialogue is so seductive.  It belies the complexity of the issues.

the power of propaganda

This is a photo lauded on facebook recently – I know they want to make a difference and change what they perceive as negative in government and the powers that be…

However, passing this photo off as truth is actually how propaganda works.

It pulls the reader who accepts it whole, into acting toward other people, a group of people who don’t precisely agree with them, in the exact ways they condemn…

This is a crisis in our global community right now…this linear, third dimensional thinking wrapped up in the rhetoric of consciousness, social activism, and the rhetoric of the sixties.  The seductive quality of the rhetoric uses all the tricks that belie logic, straw man arguments, non-sequiturs…

The comments written within the photo don’t hold up to critical thinking.  In order to address the problems facing the global community integrated mindful investigation of the problems facing us is necessary.  We need to uplevel our consciousness, include opposing views, paradigm shift, and integrate to solve these problems.

Arguing for the opposite of what is keeps us on the same linear third dimensional curve.

This is the problem with positive rights.  This is the reason for a constitution of negative rights.  Negative rights protect they press the reader to use critical thinking, to stand in the center of his/her integrated self and create from an internal locus of control the world that supports all beings.  Positive rights simply change the name and status of victim or persecutor.

  • How could you not believe in equal rights for gays, to love whom they love freely and without harassment?  It is good to allow freedom.  It is not good to force it by persecuting another group or person.
  • How could you not believe in a woman’s right to make decisions about her own body?  Yes women should be free to choose how to maintain their bodies and care for their physical vehicles…they should not be forced to have sexual relationships or to not have them.  The issue of pregnancy is complicated because the women and child share the same physical vehicle for that brief 10 month period. Pretending that the being growing inside a woman is something other than another human being belies the reality and diminishes intelligence.  Anyone who has been pregnant knows the child is real at the start, a growing human being.
  • The same people who fight for abortion also fight for protecting animal infants…so how is this?  Because of the trick of linguistics…the human growing inside the woman is renamed fetus — as if this being has no connection to the baby that might later be born.  The answer is to support protect and care for the women, human babies AND animals, and animal babies AND the environment…it isn’t an either/or. The seductive propaganda has more caring for animal and plant life than human…Intelligence dictates that all life be valued.  Just as animals should not be raised for consumption as if they have no sentience, humans babies growing inside a woman’s body should not be treated as if they have no sentience.
  • How could you not agree with the issues of protecting the earth, recycling, allowing people to set up a household in our country that are seeking asylum?  Yep, yep, yep, all important things, and all should be dealt with at the same level of honor.

So valuable…where have the words of Kennedy, and Martin Luther King gone…what has happened to them, twisting them around to support violence and harm against others to take from the government rather than to serve one’s country…twisted it into fighting for imprisonment but using their words —

aldous huxley quote

 

 

 

The thing that we have is our capacity to connect through mindfulness.   It is telling that the group who once used to ‘question authority’ have become the group controlling what and how someone thinks.  This shows the lack of balance and the degree of incongruence.

From my perspective, this shift in focus in the liberal agenda and propaganda, proves Freud’s theory, that if you don’t work through your issues you will become the person(s) you hate, and you won’t be able to see it in yourself…We have to elevate consciousness not stifle it.

From a consciousness perspective we are developing as two worlds.  One world is arguing points from a 3rd dimensional plane — pushing for rights, but forgetting about responsibilities..these individuals for the most part have their hearts soundly in the right place — they want to change what isn’t working or what seems to be avarice, consumerism, and divisiveness…yet they are not using their critical thinking to think outside the crowd mentality, outside the mob mentality of right/might over wrong.  This has some of the language of the evolving interconnected elevated consciousness but none of the energy.  The mobs killing to make others listen, no matter how important you think your message is – you destroy your credibility through your behavior.

The other consciousness that is evolving is that of one global world, completely interconnected– all human cultures with animals, plants, and the earth…this consciousness is not on the path of 3rd dimension good/bad, right/wrong, but rather on the path of discernment, wholeness, and collaboration.  It is in the tessellation space where we are in agreement and built on that. It is compassionate, loving, and embracing collaboration.

It is on another plane from the right /wrong, 3rd dimensional space.

The challenge to everyone of us is to respond to our environment with compassion.  Thinking you are right, and acting from this righteous place creates defensiveness in the other person.   Finding your inner knowing and making honest efforts to connect that inner knowing with another’s inner knowing that creates love, care, connection, and peace.

The elevation of consciousness begins within you, within me, within our children.  And we cannot create the space for that when we treat others without compassion; when we treat others as if we are superior in our ideology. Compassion open the door for understanding and negotiation and finally a place where agreement is.

….the way home is through..first within yourself — addressing the complicated incongruent beliefs and behaviors you have and finding a level of congruence in your thinking and actions.  Then next within your family systems.  Then within your friendships and work.  And finally in how you choose your government and what policies you encourage.  

It is a shift away from the power of alpha and popularity mentality toward REAL integrity, and value – from this space you can act in a way that is congruent with this elevation of consciousness.  

It’s tricky to stand in the center of your beliefs with your actions and be ready to be disapproved of, dropped off your social network groups because you are not in agreement with the group… and STILL remain loving, compassionate and strive for connection…that IS the elevation of consciousness, to move the group acceptance and drive for power into the workhorse role rather than the leadership role and have your Heart, true internal sensory guidance, and spiritual knowing be your leading guide.  

In this season of light let it be so…allow your light to shine and be a being of love and light.  The continuation of the planet depends on your capacity to heal yourself, heal your relationships, and live consciously from this space. Shalom, Namaste, Blessings, in love and light, bg

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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Sometimes, it’s all you can do to stay in the light

Sometimes, it’s all you can do to stay in the light.

There are a lot of challenges to staying positive and feeling grateful.

  • Unexpected shortfalls,
  • friends leaving or hurting you (even unintentionally),
  • delays, (mercury in retrograde),
  • accidents of all kinds…these things can pull you down, and leave you feeling dark, moody, alone, or even fearful.

The best way to deal with this is to make a choice to focus on the positive.

Focus, is attention and intention.  

Put your attention on that thing bringing you down and see if you can shift your perspective;

do a cognitive inversion, a reframe.  

Align your intention to your highest good, SEE HOW the universe is working for you… Looking for How this may be true is the fastest way to shift out of darkness to light.

Your empowerment is not in stopping bad things from happening to you…even the most cautious person must deal with unexpected turns in the road….

Empowerment requires a sense of inner security and an understanding of boundaries.

Your empowerment is HOW you RESPOND to what happens to you.  Remember to have your authentic self be your guide.  Release the need to give other’s power over your inner well-being.

It is though this process of response that you can find your way to joy, again and again.body heals

Life will have ups and downs…but if you are willing to shift your perspective ever to how whatever is going on is IN your BEST interests, that you are on your path to enlightenment…then, it will feel as if you ALWATS have a tailwind, and never a headwind in the journey of life…well except when a headwind is beneficial then you can embrace it.

And remember to find the joy, laughter, and play in all that you encounter..then you will experience ongoing healing and light.in love and light, bg


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How insecurity interferes with getting what you want.

to realizeOne of the coolest aspects of the MAAPS guiding principles of relationship is how easily you can discern what is driving how you behave in relationship.

This is beneficial when HOW you are behaving is interfering with you getting what you want.

MAAPS is an easy way to remember the five guiding security principles of relationship: Money, Achievement, Attachment (Connection), Power, and Structure.

One or more of these are engaged when YOU are driven or compelled to act inauthentically in relationship to create a sense of safety in one of these areas.  And when you are acting under the influence of one or more of these drivers you create immature, and unfulfilling relationships.

In order to shift away from this you have to face your insecurity: You have to tolerate feeling insecure while asking for what you truly need or want in the relationship.

For example: if you fear, or have an insecurity around attachment or feeling connected, you might create yourself as less important than the other person; putting his needs ahead of yours and attempting to get your needs met on the side.

This is a reasonable solution in the short-term, however after a while this will feel as if the other person is taking advantage of you or that your needs are not as important; this can lead to resentment within you and create a crevasse in the foundation of the relationship that may ultimately tear the relationship apart.

An alternative action is to speak about what you are feeling as soon as you identify it is happening.  You may want to do some undercover work with your self to discern what may be underlying the insecurity.  You can look into what decisions you may have made about how you HAD to act to be loved or cared for or to feel SAFE in your early childhood or early relationships.sigmund freud

More often these drivers act under the surface.  You actually are not aware of the influence the insecurity has over your actions.

So here are some clues that you are under the influence of insecurity:

  • you have difficulty co-mingling funds
  • you have difficulty sharing title for achievements
  • you have difficulty being alone or you feel abandoned when you cannot immediately contact your partner
  • you have difficulty receiving assistance from others or you have difficulty when others don’t do what you tell them to do
  • you have difficulty when there is disorganization

Insecurity can be hidden. I know many individuals who on the surface appear strong and confident, yet the insecurity is lurking just beneath the surface.  When left undetected and unresolved, this insecurity can interfere with you getting what you truly want in your personal and career life.

If you notice that you have trouble maintaining healthful and meaningful relationships, investigate whether you have ann insecurity in one of the five guiding security principles in relationship.  Use your compassion, lovingkindness, forgiveness, and mindfulness tools to assist you in releasing the insecurity belief so that you can build inner security and engage in more mutually beneficial relationships.

You can learn more about this in earlier blogs on this site or through the following books.

Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..  

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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Pushing Yang over Yin energy for power: negative effects of the masculinization of femininity, part 3

The negative effects of the masculinization of femininity. Part 3 of 3.

Dependent, apathetic, disconnected children.  Adolescents and young adults are delaying stepping into a fully independent role in society while enjoying many rights at even younger ages.

I perceive the reticence of the millennium  generation to avoid entering into responsible roles in society, delaying entering into adulthood through various avenues of remaining dependent on parents and institutions for support, healthcare and living expenses, the malaise, apathy and lack of focus by an increasing many of the youngest generation– I see all of these serious issues as part of the side effects of the course that feminism has taken.

Feminism has created an environment where men aren’t needed in caring for children.  The way in which the feminist movement has focused on elevating women has resulted in minimizing, even eradicating the role of men in caring for and raising children; even issues of providing financially for children has fallen to the state, leaving men to be outcast with respect to having responsible behavior toward their children and the mothers of their children.  Men have in many cases been only the physical, genetic requirement.

This diminishment of the man’s role and importance in children’s lives has been a result of the style in which feminist policies have been inculcated and disseminated and it has had a devastating effect on children.

Focusing on the importance of being free sexually has unexpectedly resulted in an over sexualization of children – on one hand creating children as sexual beings far earlier than is healthy while keeping them as children with respect to when they need to be responsible. The Disney corporation, now a part of ABC, focuses on portraying young children as far superior in intelligence than their parents, while dramatizing even the animation characters as over-sexualized with large breasts barely fitting into the drawn-on dress that minimally covers the child’s hips. Additionally, presenting strength in these female characters as aggressive while diminishing any reference to femininity, interior strength required to withstand labor and required to be mindful and powerful creators.  While on the one hand it is refreshing to see the removal of all the victim/rescuer stories of past days it is problematic that the message moves from victim awaiting rescue to sexualized aggressive (read masculinized) child.

To project women as strong beings at ease with their sensuality, recognizing the power in their fullness would be far more effective in strengthening women’s rights and opportunities.  Women need to be able to embrace their sexuality and carry power over their bodies without having to choose to be either a shielded/covered up being or someone who is throwing sex into every equation… it is a matter of elevating the conversation, presenting power through an emancipated woman able to choose how she wants to be seen and represented in the world.  

Women’s rights have actually been diminished in this new sexual age, due to the masculinization of femininity through this skewed feminism…see the youtube below for an example.

The culture has disconnected the rights, and responsibilities for/to those rights, so that the adolescence period has gone from five years (13-18) to 13 years (13-26).  Rather than offering an opportunity to further develop skills by offering a longer adolescent period, this has resulted in a situation where  they are ill-prepared to enter society as high functioning participants. They have become accustomed to having no responsibilities tied to their rights.

Adolescence is a social, cultural construct.  It is not a biological stage.  In human societies the adolescent remains with the family to learn social roles, expectations, and develop moral concepts, cognitive skills, impulse control, and develop skills/work training.

From a neurological perspective the brain continues to develop and is somewhat plastic through 26 (28). From a psychosocial perspective the development through the Erikson stages is fairly plastic through age 24. So with those two pieces of data – by not tying rights and responsibilities together before 26 – we are essentially sealing the cognitive beliefs and behaviors to have these unlinked from each other, thereby creating a distorted sense of dependence and independence.

The cost of feminism on this Course, delineated in Part 1, and Part 2, is to diminish the importance of teaching, modeling, caring for children and helping them become independent in the proper timeline. It has distorted the importance of gender roles within the context of a family and a social group.  Thereby leaving both women and men unsure as to how to relate to one another.  (See Turning Me to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, Gineris, 2013).

The human species has one of the longest childrearing times.  This is partially due to the fact that the human brain is underdeveloped at birth. The style in which humans learn about how to live, grow, partner, and socialize is through modeling from the significant caregivers. Without a representation of healthy interrelating, whole, balanced yin and yang aspects of each gender in the social structure, how can a little human learn to be a multi-dimensionally developed adult? I wonder to what degree  this is the reason for such a high level of depression, bipolarity, ADHD, and suicidal thinking among our children — they aren’t given am opportunity to create a true connection to meaning, manage their internal needs with their social expectations, manage their will, understand and develop resilience and personal strength.

You don’t really see suicide in healthy animal populations, until and unless there is human contamination with that species – so it’s something to consider how society may be creating such problems through an imbalanced perspective of femininity.

With respect to humans, across societies women predominantly care for children; in some societies they do physical work as well as household work, depending on the need in that region and the level of financial need.

brain gender differences

So, diminishing the importance of that feminine role, and handing it off to state agencies: day care, schools, and programs limits and truncates the positive aspects of a women’s skills in this regard.

Studies show that the brains of women actually are wired to tend and befriend in times of strife…yet feminists are trying to eradicate that aspect of a woman’s role –trying to create yang brains instead of yin ones…

    (See figure to the left) Women experience tend and befriend response rather than Fight and flight, moderated through oxytocin and other hormones. Secreted at times of bonding, nurturing, breast-feeding and relationships. Taylor SE et al. Psych Review 2000;107(3):411-29

 Those who want to control a society go to the child generation to actually program in what is seen as valuable, acceptable, and imprint the belief systems required for the society.  This has to be enacted before the development of moral thinking which begins to solidify around 9 years old…although there is evidence that moral thinking begins earlier than that, and that concentrated, practiced mindful meditation can strongly influence the development of altruism and empathy.

Hatred of a specific group has to be taught to a child.  Self-confidence, management of will and power, are all taught.  Through efficient parenting children develop from dependent, to independent, to interdependent; without it a child or adolescent can become stuck in an earlier stage of development and simply not reach his or her full potential as an adult in interactive and cognitive skills.

Due to the plasticity of the brain through 24-26 (or 28) year old, enculturation is clarified in the young adult years, making schools, and learning institutions opportunities for mind expanding or mind-contracting growth.  Depending on what is happening in those learning institutions.  If feminists say that to be a healthy woman you must have specific political beliefs and specific roles than feminism is diminishing the rights and opportunities of women.

Here is an example of how the feminist movement has lost site of its vision.  

I have been observing a sharp shift in focus in the universities’ presentation of fact versus beliefs in fields that are represented by women’s studies, philosophy, and sociology.  What I am observing is that universities have increasingly become factories to promote propaganda of various ideologies by either stating things are truth, that are simply belief systems, or setting up ‘studies’ to promote these ‘truths’.  Additionally the activities of critical thinking, and interactive investigation through dialogue are less supported and in fact discouraged.

There is a movie out called God’s not Dead  (April 2014) which  documents the inner attack of religion and the attack of specifically christian-faith groups on college and university campuses across America…resulting in over twenty legal civil rights court cases wherein the religious groups and students personal rights were harmed… this underscores my observation that specific prevailing beliefs are being offered as truth in the universities across america...resulting in the universities being propaganda promoters rather than communities of higher learning and free discourse.  Although the movie is a dramatization of these events, the style in which those of faith are attacked in general under the guise of intellectuality is ubiquitous.

This course of feminism, the masculinization of femininity, has resulted in a breakdown in the importance of teaching children, and caring for them.  This role has thus been taken away from the home and has begun to be placed in government agencies, day care systems, and schools.  We don’t efficiently care for them as a society, we are expecting dependence, and we don’t provide the environment that allows for independence and the evolution of consciousness.

To create a new more comprehensive feminist movement yin aspects of femininity need to be honored.

  • All women’s choices for healthy roles in the society need to be valued.
  • Attack of women to reduce their power or control them needs to be disavowed.
  • Transcending the spaces where yin and yang interact to incorporate both in an equal way would result in setting right the current imbalance, offering a true path toward valuing the feminine.

This would result in an elevation of consciousness and the incorporation into leadership, and society, the qualities of compassion, collaboration and unity, all feminine, yin aspects of personality. Many of the answers to the current global dilemmas can be found through a rebalancing of these feminine, yin qualities into feminism.  The power of the feminine is best when it is balanced yin and yang, and that which is at the core feminine in nature provides grace, strength, and power to the solutions therein.

Each reader can create change now, by simply resetting his or her internal balance of yin and yang.  When you transcend the duality of aggression or victim, you elevate consciousness to include balanced yin and yang.  Balanced interaction begets more balance, the shift up is natural and moves instantaneously, it is quantum in nature. Your energy can effect change . Be the change you wish to see in the world.    Namaste, in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.front cover.me2we

Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.  One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one  another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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Pushing Yang over Yin energy for power: the focus of feminism in the millennium, part 1

The feminist movement in the millennium and the masculinization of femininity. This is Part 1 in a series of 3.

In my early education I was taught to question accepted belief systems, as a  way of clarifying the underlying paradigms and developing mindfulness.  As the years have passed since my your, our world has changed.  I notice that there is still a lot of questioning of traditional beliefs but I have noticed that alternative beliefs or beliefs identified as progressive are not as questioned among my peers.  Perhaps it’s because it feels like it’s proven to my peers; additionally, there is this energy that finally these non-traditional ideas are now taking hold, so there is no need to question them…but I think it’s a good thing to evaluate what you believe from the inside out, and see if what is being created is actually a better situation or needs more fine-tuning.

I often find I am standing in the center of a controversial subject, which is to say that I see points of view from both sides; I experience my conclusion to these controversies is not fully in alignment to either side…so I find myself alone, a lot, outside of either group….

Just because something is popular, doesn’t make it right…and sometimes the thing that is right: sound and just, isn’t popular.

Belief systems are set in the center of the social milieu…what sociologists call location in time.  As an example, in the fifties in America drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes while pregnant was completely acceptable…today there are prohibitions not only legally and socially but also medically for doing such, because it has been determined that alcohol and cigarettes have deleterious effects on the developing baby in a woman’s womb.

So the idea of feminism has been applied to various social issues.  My concept of feminism seems to be different from how the word is interpreted by various groups.  From my perspective the idea of feminism is inclusive of elevating the opportunities and rights of women…not exchanging rights or limiting rights, or diminishing women who choose more traditional roles.  Feminists should on the face of their actions support women, all women.  They should actually stand up for each other and not create a divisive set of good women and bad women groups. Feminism should entail a broad set of beliefs that are inclusive of the roles women choose, should provide support to women figures that have attained a positive power role in society and should focus on increasing opportunity for women.  At the least feminism should not be a way to deride women who are participating in traditional roles or who have chosen to be conservative versus liberal…this action alone is hypocritical and deflates the positive aspects of the feminist social movement.

Recently there have been three situations in the news where women have been forced to step down from speaking at universities due almost exclusively to their political affiliations:  most recently, Christine LaGarde, previously Condoleza Rice, and just previous to that Ayaan Hirsi Ali.Wall street journal, may 12, 2014, ..closed minded universities.. previously Condoleza Rice, and just previous to that Ayaan Hirsi Ali, latimes, april 2014, …an example of a university not choosing to stand for freedom of expression, critical thinking…

These individuals have each overcome tremendous adversity and attained a position of influence and clarity in their specific fields.  And yet, rather than being supported or defended by the feminist movement leaders, their treatment is either ignored or the feminist leaders are complicit in deriding the women.  I understand this is sociological group behavior, ostracize behavior seen unacceptable by the ruling group leaders…and it is not popular today to be conservative, it is not popular today to go against the current progressive belief systems and it is not popular today to be in any way affiliated with the finance community…but the fact that the feminist movement is choosing which roles are acceptable and which roles are not is simply another way to control women and limit their choices which is the opposite of the goal of feminism.  It is a real war on women, driven by women.

Feminism has unfortunately taken a bifurcated, and skewed course over its reign, since the late 1800s.  I perceive that indeed some actions supported and advocated under feminist ideas are actually limiting women’s rights and opportunities, while others are increasing women’s freedom and equality in the American society.

By analyzing the course of feminism with a neutral perspective, unencumbered by the propaganda of the feminist movement, I have come to a few vastly different conclusions than the current progressive belief systems taught in university.

I perceive Feminism of the sixties as a paradigm of increasing the opportunities for women to participate in sexual relationships without the threat of having to deal with pregnancy or child-rearing. This is directly related to the development of the birth control pill. Women wanted the freedom they observed in their gender counterparts…This is one of the main driving forces behind feminism and ‘civil rights’ of women and is the issue that is behind women’s rights in areas where women’s sexuality are severely controlled by the society in which they live.  This is a far more pressing issue in countries other than America… ie: where women are ritually circumcised to reduce the degree of sexual pleasure they experience in sex — this is to control women.  This aspect of feminism is akin to women’s voting rights of the suffragist movement.  Both of these aspects of feminism have greatly increased women’s rights as human being and their equality to their gender counterparts in society.  I perceive to be of great importance.

Another important issue of feminism is to recognize the importance of equal pay for equal work, this was first in play in the forties and then returned in the eighties and nineties when women began to identify the glass ceiling in corporate America. It was at this time that the power suit came into play. It brought with it a shift away from creating more choice for women and extending opportunity to choosing which kind of behavior was favored by the feminist movement.  This was the beginning of an accepted persecution of women whom they felt didn’t support this focus. This resulted in a fracturing of the feminist  movement.

Pushing Yang (active, competitive, masculine energy) over Yin (feminine energy, inner creation, collaboration), the movement attacked women directly for their personal free choice of how to work, marry, and participate in society.  Value was placed on ‘doing man’s work, in the corporate and political world.  Working at home, caring for children, and traditional roles were devalued.

Women are in general paid less than men how much less depends a little of whether you are comparing apples to oranges. The amount less for similar work is now around 5% less – so an amazing good score for the efforts of feminists in this arena. But at what cost has this been achieved?  The means of achieving it has created other unintended consequences (see more in part 2, and part 3 of this series).

Society and location in time have a lot to do with the original pay discrepancy and how things have changed today.  A change started in the forties, the fifties created a lull in that change, but as part of the sixties movement  this began to change. The nineties addressed this through a changing focus on gender roles. It has been shifting to a more equal compensation in the last ten years.

In the fifties, a man worked to support a family (children and a wife) and women worked to support one.  This was partly due to the culture of the fifties that women worked in the home and men worked outside the home.  So the employer tended to pay accordingly.  As women became more highly educated and interested in working outside the home the shift in the marketplace  represented that societal shift.

Several issues plagued the movement toward equal pay:  specifically biological limits of childbearing (women are limited in the range for safely getting pregnant while men can conceive over twice the number of years), childrearing (although daycare and equality for men to stay at home and raise the children came into action in the nineties, for the most part this role fell to women).

So men stayed in the workforce and at that company while women left to have children, get married, and tended to leave to follow their partners. Additionally, from a sociological perspective men were mentored to move into the areas of business which were on the fast track to moving up the corporate ladder, marketing, sales while women were mentored into human service which dead ended at middle management or areas away from the ladder; this appears to have a connection to the issues of having the freedom to child bear and child rear and still be in the workplace.

Okay so fast forward to now: due to the no contest divorce effects, (IHM march 13, 2014 blog) and other factors, more women are having to support children without the help of men and so that fifties concept no longer applies.

Additionally, women no longer wait to have babies in a committed/married/partnered relationship. There a number of circumstances where women are not supported by the other parent  indeed sometimes the other contributor is the federal or state government through Medicaid and other funding, including women who choose to parent via IVF as single parents.

So equal pay is a more appropriate response to the societal change and is  a good place for feminism to focus on when supporting the rights of women.

When you do a statistical analysis that really takes into account these issues, time in the workforce, and job choice, the difference between genders is less than 5% for pay for similar jobs, according to new studies out this year.

In this arena feminism has done a great job to move forward the importance of equalizing the attitude toward women in the workforce and their value there.  

But I propose the course of doing this by the feminist movement resulted in the masculinization of femininity which has had an unintended consequence of creating a harmful imbalance in society resulting in separating ‘good feminist women’ from ‘bad feminist women’ based on the roles they chose to play in society AND creating a serious breakdown of the psychosocial development of generations of children.  To see how read part 2, and part 3 of this series. offered in love and light bg