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June 28, 2016
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Resilience is the key to strength

Mental toughness is more of an inner flexibility than an external rigidity. It is adaptability with push through.

I just finished my first half Ironman. It was an extraordinary experience. Running across the finish line took grace and grit. I think my experience there is a metaphor for life. Each event has its own challenges and rewards. Life is no different: Work, play, relationship, friendship, education/training, personal growth, parenting…these are all events in the landscape of life. The common factors of success in these utilize the tools of mental toughness.

When I’m working with a coaching client I focus on resilience, the ability to bounce back to push through undeclared, unexpected circumstances; ones capacity for adaptability creates the highest level of happiness and success in life. Adaptability can cause troubles when there’s a lack of inner stability or core strength then the flexibility results in being pushed over.

This link applies mental fitness to triathlon:

https://www.teamusa.org/USA-Triathlon/News/Blogs/Multisport-Lab/2016/June/07/Mental-Toughness

Here are the ten tips: the italicized information offers key ideas for developing resilience, adaptability, and mental toughness in life…mindfulness.

1. Approach new situations with a flexible mind and recognition of your own preconceptions. You know you don’t know everything, so you can’t really be surprised. Paradigms are key here. It’s not only what you think you know, it’s also what you have locked perceptions about. Allowing yourself to have a foundation that is flexible open and responsive to change makes all the difference.

2. Roll with the unexpected. If you’re giving a presentation and the lights go out, you move the party to the local restaurant and continue onward. Stuff happens; everyone knows it. But how you react to it is what counts. If you’re racing a triathlon and get a flat tire, you don’t throw a fit and break your bike in half. You change it — even if it takes you 30 minutes. Don’t give up. Perseverance, ease of transition, responsiveness… I call this respons- a- bility. The ability to calmly and quickly assess, decide and act (respond) is the key.

3. Remain centered and focused. Other competitive types may try to throw you off with gamesmanship. It’s part of the competitive world, and you may do it too, consciously or not. Don’t let a competitor bait you into unwise moves ruled by emotion. As far as mental toughness within competition goes, you need to know your strengths and play to them, not to someone else’s tune. Stay on task with your goal whenever anything or anyone tries to interfere. Run your own race. This applies to competition, and applies to life at every level. Your skills are best exhibited in your own pacing, timing, and paradigm.

4. Defeat isn’t the end for you. You have lost before. You’ll lose again. Your ability to absorb these and move onwards with your race, career and life is what counts. Michael Jordan has a quote about missing 9,000 free throws or something like that. You get the point. Efficient learning happens after mistakes are made and corrected. Find your way through the labyrinth to the center. Leave that there and move to the next event with a fresh face and clear mind. This will keep you centered, mindful, and give you the best chance at success.

5. Believe in yourself. Recognize your talents with a realistic assessment of your skills. Really knowing that you’re good at something is empowering and will generally help you become even better as you believe in your ability and that skill. No one is good at everything, but we’re all great at something. Recognize this. Confidence creates strength and courage; draws success to you. Insecurity creates loss and deflation; pushes success away. The key is to know yourself; having a healthy recognition of your assets and limitations.

6. Deal with the discomfort. Almost everyone is in pain the last few miles of a marathon or gets tired at some point in an IRONMAN. The front of the pack often separates not on their physical ability but their mental ability to deal with temporary physical states (like pain or fatigue). With a strong mind you can overcome. Mental toughness is knowing when the pain is something that requires immediate attention and when it is not. This is what allows for push through and breakthrough in strength training and physical fitness. Your mind can interfere with your physical fitness by stoping too early or going to long and creating injury. This is paramount in relationship and emotional development.

7. Channel your inner Wolverine. He’s angry, he’s got claws and he heals very, very quickly. Sometimes you have just got to break out a little Wolvie. I like to encourage your inner goddess or your inner warrior. Focus, focus, focus. Know your skills and use them to meet your goals.

8. Crap rolls downhill. It also rolls over you. Anyone in the business world knows that one. As an athlete, you will also experience your share of crap. Crappy workouts. Crappy days. Crappy equipment. Crappy training partners. Crappy races. My goodness, the world is full of crap. But you’re Teflon, baby. Let it roll on down. Move on to that hill over yonder. Shake it off, shake it off.. reset.

9. When things go wrong, keep moving on. “Don’t give up” is a powerful and simple statement. What other options do you have? Is there another way? Is there any way? What do you have to do to make things go your way? Find it. Do it. This is the mental toughness that carries people through situations where weaker minds crumble. Commitment, perseverance…accept the situation respond to it with grace and grit, and a little bit of anger and a little bit of joy..that mixture gives you the strength and the mindfulness to persevere.

10. Things aren’t always your fault. Mentally tough people also tend to be drivers and doers with a predisposition to strong internal locus of control. That’s a funny way of saying that it’s easy to start to think you can make things happen by just doing your best. Some things are just out of your control, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Sometimes there is a competitor out there with a better idea, a higher V02 max or slightly better taper coming into his A-race. See the two rules above and move on. Channel your inner goddess, your inner warrior, your inner magician…recognize with focus you can bend time, break barriers go where no one has gone before…I can do it. The best mantra to get you to the finish line.

Mindfulness is a type of mental fitness. Thinks that will completely stop you are misbeliefs. This bog can help :

https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2016/05/17/healing-core-misbeliefs/

Keep developing your mindfulness and you will finish and possible win whatever race you enter in life. in love and light, bg

Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2016 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Discover your path, set an intention for what you want to create in your life: It’s difficult to get where you’re going without a map.

May 17, 2016
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 2 Comments

Healing core misbeliefs

I went to a conference recently that focused on healing core beliefs. The idea behind the conference is

“What you believe you perceive, and what you perceive you experience”

Each of us fashions our life on misbeliefs.

Beliefs we developed in response to injuries, loss, and difficult situations.

The mind puts together an equation that reads: if this then that… if there is a contest then I will not win..the belief being I never win anything. Or I never get picked first. Or even deeper I am not Worthy or Loved.

When you build your life on a core misbelief such as I am not worthy or I am not lovable. Your experiences lead you to this conclusion.

Let’s check out how one might create a structure that teaches her that message over and over again.

With a core belief I am not worthy: You might choose lovers or partners that either don’t have the communication skills to share with you your worth; You would experience always feeling taken for granted or unimportant.
Or you might choose people who are so self-focused they can’t see you (such as a neurotic or narcissistic personality); You would experience that nothing you ever did was good enough so that you mattered.
Or you might choose people who need you to take care of them and they can’t focus their energy on you…in that instance you would have to give and give without experiencing receiving love.
You might choose overwhelming tasks that you could not accomplish. Or you might accomplish many things and still feel empty after completing them

The tendency is to think the problem is with the other person.

Catch yourself, notice if there is a pattern. Is it in all your partners, close friends, lovers? If it is, it may be more about you and your core belief.

This isn’t to say that the other person might not have the issue you think he does.

It’s just that if you want to change you experiences you have to change your core beliefs.

It’s harder to do than you think. It takes real courage to see how you are holding yourself back from having the love or life you want.

Usually these core beliefs are set up from a standpoint of necessity. They are a result of injury, trauma, something that has gone wrong in your original psychosocial development. They may have been true about that one event, but not generalizable to all of life. Once in place they are like shorthand, if this then that. I have to give and give, no one will ever love me just for myself…how do I know because that’s how (fill in the blank important caregiver) treated me. And, it’s not that person’s fault either.

It’s a belief.

It isn’t solid or real. It drives the mind, but it doesn’t have to drive the heart.

Go into your heart feel your beauty, your lovableness, your worth. Love yourself first then you will experience the love from those around you …and no that isn’t narcissism, that’s the flow of life.

It comes from within first. Then it touches on everything else. in love and light, bg

Discover your path, set an intention for what you want to create in your life: It’s difficult to get where you’re going without a map.

October 15, 2015
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

What if…part 2. Working through loss.

There was such a positive and powerful response to the first section of chapter one, I thought I would offer the second section to the chapter…please let me know your sense about it… in love and light, bg

I notice the Dean’s lips are moving, but I can’t quite make out what she is saying.
Oh good. Finally she is talking.

Involuntarily, I shivered. She was sitting right next to me, but I couldn’t really understand what she was saying; the words were coming in like an out of tune radio station, they just didn’t make any sense. And then I heard her, sharp and clear…
“Robbie is dead.” “His car went off the road Saturday morning. The police think he was killed instantly.”
The thoughts inside my head blew about me …
No!
No, he isn’t dead; he can’t be dead. I have to tell him…
I have to see him.
I have to tell him how sorry I am.
I have to tell him I’m ready to marry him.
His face flashed across my inner vision. The feelings from our last meeting crashed in my heart.

Flash. Crash!

No! I have to set this right.
I heard my words reverberate back to me. “No! No, he isn’t dead.” “No you mean he’s in the hospital. He’s just hurt; he’ll be okay,” as if I was giving her the corrected line. I couldn’t accept what she was saying.
My urgency must have been unbearable for her. Her eyes blinked with tears. Gently, her head shook no.
She reached across the space on the couch to comfort me, patting my leg rhythmically. I felt faint. The room began to spin. I fell into her chest as she continued to now rhythmically pat my shoulder. She supported me as I broke down.
Her voice unwavering, “No Beth, he is not in the hospital. He’s gone.”
He was gone?
He left me without knowing that I had changed my mind?

Our last interaction, me being such a jerk, was now unforgivable.
It hit me like a one, two punch to my stomach. He was gone, my beautiful future stolen from me. My uncaring and inflated behavior was our last interaction. It stood like a headstone marker on his grave.
Her words and my memories pierced through my consciousness like a knife through my heart. The pain was debilitating. I couldn’t breathe.
I felt at the edge of nothingness, completely powerless. I sat there deflated, like a pierced party balloon. I don’t know how long I remained in this state. When I looked up, the sun was no longer shining and the trees outside mirrored my inner storm.

I finally composed myself enough to walk out of her office.
Her secretary smiled at me weakly as I passed down the hall.
It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other; I could barely walk. I found myself at my dorm room. Thankfully, my suitemate returned to her previous muteness.

That was the only thing that returned to normal. Everything and everyone else was different. Night came and left. Day came and turned to night. Life continued around me but I was not a part of it. I felt robotic, disconnected, remote and out of sync with the whole of life around me. I couldn’t tolerate the birds singing or my friends laughing, wherever joy presented itself I turned away. Happiness grated on me like nails on a chalkboard.
I recoiled from life. Spiritless on the inside, I couldn’t even find the energy to fake it on the outside.

The image of her sweater with black marked stains stuck with me for a long time.

I numbly completed my last semester of college, in a fog, unable to concentrate on anything. Everything changed. I couldn’t bear to listen to music, people laughing, or see my friends. And it seemed they avoided me too. I was flat and lifeless; there wasn’t much there for connection.

Entire days went by without me seeing anyone.
I felt desolate, angry with myself, angry with Robbie, lonely and lost.

In the days that passed, I discovered how in his last moments of his precious life Robbie reoriented the direction of the car to save his passenger’s life. A stranger to our community, this sweet young man began to wish he had died instead of Robbie. To his face I said “no, no…don’t think that.” But in my heart I screamed, yes, yes, why do you get to live; why not Robbie. I hated myself for thinking and feeling that way. I couldn’t stop my heart pain. Life was so difficult and challenging. I was walking though water without a regulator, drowning with every breath.
That heroism was so consistently Rob’s character; he was always there at the right time, loyal and dependable when it really mattered.
Why didn’t he save himself? I was coming back for him.

Inconsolable, time passed in starts and spurts, and then it seemed to trickle by. So much of my energy went to managing my grief that little was left to relate to friends or complete my studies.

“Beth, I’m giving you this A grade because of your work here-to-for, not for the work in this paper.” The words written in red ink across the front of my final paper stung, but I was grateful for the understanding of my dearest sociology professor.
“This is sub-par work Beth, but I know this has been a difficult time so I’m giving you an A in the class anyway.” Another painful note in red from my psychology professor, I vacillated between painful prickling and numbness. I was grateful for their understanding. There was nothing inside to pull on for my studies; I was bereft of passion. There was just enough life in me to robotically go through the motions.

For the next six weeks, my senses were in a state of paresthesia; over and over my professors forgave my distracted, poor work.

Working at 20 percent, I limped into graduation.
Two months after Robbie’s death I graduated, said goodbye to my friends and school, and shut the door to my previous life.

Spiritless, I walked into my barren future. I was the skin you see from a cicada, perfectly formed with no life inside.
I filled the space with work.
Astonishingly, my logical, solution-focused father was the dearest comfort to me during that time.
Notes arrived. They slowly filled the empty space in my apartment and heart.
“Hi honey, thinking of you! Dad” staring at me as I brushed my teeth.
“Remember to get out and see friends. Dad” taped to my steering wheel. I taped them to my mirror, and used them as bookmarks. They marked my path back to life.
He had an unerring capacity to simply be present with me in my grief.
“Here’s a picture of Robbie from when he was at the house. Love, Dad” That picture became my velveteen rabbit.

One day on the phone he told me that Robbie (unbeknownst to me) arrived in my hometown earlier in the year that Robbie had died; he asked my father’s blessing to marry me.
The pictures of them together at my house simultaneously felt stabbing and comforting.
He knew I would come around. He knew I loved him.
He had to have known to fly from New York City to Albuquerque, just to see my Dad.

I kept seeing his face at that last meeting, and feeling how out of sync my actions were. It was shocking and triggered intense discomfort. Steadily though, my unconscious kept driving me toward forgiveness. Like a river pushes and pulls fragments down the current, my thoughts drove me toward forgiveness of him, forgiveness of me, forgiveness of God.

My Dad and I shared this deep love for Robbie.
“He was a good man honey. He loved you so much. I’m glad I got to know him. Keep working it will help you stay strong. You can come home any time you want to honey. Love, Dad.”
He loved you so much, stay strong, those words reverberated in my mind. It was one of the best notes I received from my Dad. I kept it in my favorite journal.

I worked by day as a law firm runner in LA and by evening as a residential counselor with developmentally delayed adolescents, teaching them independent-living skills.
I loved running by moonlight through downtown LA.
I savored my time alone. I don’t know if it was punishment or protective but it was healing. It gave me time to think, forgive, and distance myself from the intensity of what had happened. Although I did most things alone, I shared my apartment with my best friend from college. She was mostly gone working on political campaigns. I was mostly gone working. It was a perfect arrangement for healing.

I loved her so much because I didn’t have to explain what was going on with me. She knew. She loved me anyway. Other than Trish, I can’t remember making any friends.
My memories of that time are like snippets of fabric sewn together with travel along the Southern California freeways.
After fourteen months my senses came back.
Trish had to move to another state to follow an important campaign. I decided to move back to Albuquerque.
It seemed that light began to come back into my daily life.
I heard the birds singing and it didn’t make me want to yell stop. Music was inviting. I danced.
Somewhere, I found the space within me to have faith again in the fabric of Life.

Robbie’s death became a defining experience in my life. The importance of love, honesty, forgiveness, and acting in congruence with my true character became the boundaries required for health and freedom in relationship.
Ultimately, I felt my deliverance from my inner prison. Salvation lit me slowly with the realization that he knew I loved him. He saw through everything from beginning to end. I was the last to see the truth and it was too late to enjoy the love waiting for me.

I forgave myself for being immature and unthinking.
I developed an urgent need to be authentic in all my communications, a left over compulsion from that fateful night. It made me a bit intense and probably too serious.

Overtime, I befriended the ebb and flow of life and death.
I came to accept that there was a tapestry of life that I could tap into and flow with but that I had to remain sincere and accept the consequences of my actions.
If I had married Robbie, I may not have become the person I am today, leaving a hole in the fabric of the lives of those whom I have offered healing counsel. That’s how I think about it now. I walk in a state of grace, with a sense of gratefulness for the gifts I developed out of my devastating loss; grateful to have positively affected so many through that loss.

And it was from that knowing I spent my last weeks with my father as he got chemotherapy for end stage pancreatic cancer.

And so here is the first chapter of the book…Working through loss offers deep awareness of the tapestry of life…, how have your traumas elevated your consciousness? Send me a comment or write one in the space below…in love and light, bg

September 2, 2015
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

Mindful action requires sensefulness

Intention, Attention, Perspective, and Perception, are four words that describe sensefulness; these words are guiding principles that create in their intersection mindful action. Acting from these principles, together, places a person in present-time and calls for mindful action.

Being mindful is like seeing in 3-Dimensions, seeing in several dimensions, at once.

When I first started to do injections into joints I had to learn all the anatomy of those joints. There is a sensfulness that it requires for success. It requires a degree of inner sight that creates a set of coordinates that places the fluid precisely where it needs to go. It is the same when working with complicated systems, family and relationship systems. When working as a therapist with families or couples seeing in 3-D is fundamental to being able to get the whole picture from the two (or more) skewed perspectives offered. You have to be able to interpret what is, and isn’t said, as well as the energy and force of what matters to the various participants.
Reading pulses in my oriental medicine training, and attending to the face, energy, and meridian systems in each human I treat with Oriental medicine requires attending to all the information in relation to each other and in space and time. I was taught to feel depth, quality and speed of each of the 12 channels but I also felt the emotion that went with the pulse. One of my teachers told me that was atypical. Yet it was the most important aspect to HOW I chose to treat the person successfully. This multidimensional sight is simply the intersection of the principles of Intention, Attention, Perspective, and Perception. This is the way in which one determines How to respond to incoming stimuli when interacting with others mindfully or in relationships as partners and parents

I think seeing in 3-D is essential for real, full communication and right action. And unless it’s natural it’s something that requires awareness about how to do it and lots of practice.
The words intention, attention, perspective, and perception increase your awareness and focus you onto the space in a 3-dimensional way.

Intention focuses you in on what you intend, what you want/desire or what the other intends, wants/desires.
Attention focuses you in on the tone, loudness, word choice, meaning and emotion as well as whether you and the other have the same meaning for words and/or actions – it pulls you into the present.
Perspective gets you into the figure/ground aspect of the interaction and allows for paradigm identification and paradigm shifting.
And, perception has aspects of all of the other three but in a more whole-istic fashion. It allows for mindful understanding and mindful action.

It’s like looking at a situation, relationship, or problem from a 360 degree perspective, breadth as well as depth.

When you are thinking about a situation or a relationship start to use these words as guide posts to increase your mindfulness awareness of yourself and the other(s) involved and see if you don’t get some surprising answers about what may be going on in those situations.
You can use your intuitive sense, your observations, questioning skills, and willingness to listen and act in a mindful present moment way. Practice applying the whole picture to the situation. (Copyright, bethgineris from turning NO to ON: the art of parenting with mindfulness, 2011.)

Working with the idea of 4th dimension, space and time, is a way of thinking about what happens when you are shifting paradigms.

Immanuel Kant in his Critique of Pure Reason developed a concept of transcendental philosophy. In Kant’s view, a priori intuitions and concepts provide us with some a priori knowledge which also provides the framework for our a posterior knowledge. His theory about space-time is fascinating as to how it relates to the 4th dimension. Space and time for Kant are a form of perceiving, together, and causality is a form of knowing. From his perspective both space and time and our conceptual principles and processes pre-structure our experience.

This develops the idea that paradigms and paradigm shifting are a product of perceiving and then introspectively knowing. For Kant things as they are in themselves are unknowable. In his view for something to become an object of knowledge, it must be experienced, and experience is structured by our minds – both space and time being the forms of our intuition, or perception, and the unifying, structuring activity of our concepts. These aspects of mind turn things in themselves into the world of experience – so that they can be known.

For me, multidimensional sight is viewing with your five senses plus intuition,

and the concept of time as represented by the now, past, and future;
2/ recognizing how interpretations in time affect the future; and
3/ noting how changing those interpretations actually CHANGES reality.

Mindfulness increases ones capacity to see in 4-D. I think of mindfulness as a concept that includes spirit, mind, and body responses integrated with information to guide our actions and cognitions, in the space-time continuum of the NOW.

Our minds are full with a focus on perception, attention, perspective, intention, and time. These are the foci that allow us to see in 4-d – giving space for figure/ground perspective and paradigm shifting.

Intuition provides a blink response, as described by Malcolm Gladwell in this book by the same name. A cue that there is something wrong or right. It allows for us to integrate our observations of our sensing system with our knowledge to guide us. The blink quality may allow for this integration to come to us as a whole (what Fritz Perls defined as a Gestalt) and in an instant.

Emotions are not knowings in and of themselves, they are triggers, or responses – it may be a trigger to alert us that there is someone crossing our boundaries like an internal sensing alarm system, or they may be emotional triggers to survivor scenarios, or responses as a posterior knowledge.

Viewing emotions as experiences but not knowings assists one in determining how to respond to an emotion. A good example is Feeling sorry for oneself it can erode at our being in an insidious way but is not always rooted in a reality.

Recognizing that perceptions and experiences can be temporal but not necessarily real or factual can assist one in seeing in 4-D and remaining centered in ones life.

If you find yourself feeling defensive, angry or feeling poor me, assess whether the feeling is part of a habit reaction pattern or a trigger OR an accurate assessment of something happening in the present moment.

Sometimes these feelings are cues about how what is happening now is akin to something historical that needs to be addressed.
When the feeling is nagging and bothersome rather than intense and loud then it may be indicative of a problem if it feels reactive and loud then it may be more of a habit reaction pattern or trigger. This is counterintuitive.
You can make a comparison of history event and the now event, to discern which is in play.
Mindfulness is a concept of utilizing one’s emotional sensory guidance system, and physical sensing system and the

Fullcapacity of our cognitive and problem solving skills to evaluate situations and experiences in order to create and guide our way. This is seeing in 4-D and allows for a unifying and flexible style of relating in the world.
Seeing in 4-D increases one’s capacity for centeredness and groundedness with flexibility and strength.

Seeing in multiple dimensions, inner guidance III
Allowing yourself to listen to the vast information available to you through your internal guidance system is essential for mindful, comprehensive communication and right action. Even though this is a natural, instinctual process – it can be eroded in early childhood due to a push to conform to group rules and beliefs – when you want to recapture your connection to this internal guidance you need to increase your awareness and practice paying attention and responding.
The words intention, attention, perspective, and perception increase your awareness and focus you onto the space in a multi-dimensional way. Each word embodies a specific energy or vibration that can wholly stand alone, but when the energy of each term is inked the whole of the process is multi-dimensional.
• Feel into the meaning of each of these terms for yourself so that you can get an image of the vibration of the word interacting like an equation with the other words.
• Give the internal image dimension through color or shape in how you experience the words interacting.
• This will allow you to create your own picture of how to focus yourself onto your path through your inner guidance holding the multi-dimensional information from your senses together yet bounded in a way to see the various paradigms.
• The interactions between and among the vibrations are as important as the word meanings and the whole equation.
You may see the words relating like a spear and a target, then a circling or something that encompasses and then finally something that shoots to a height and then grounds like an anchor. All directions and energies; not a blur of color that becomes murky but energy and color interacting and adjusting
Intention focuses you in on what you intend, what you want/desire or what the other intends, wants/desires.
Attention focuses you in on the tone, loudness, word choice, meaning and emotion as well as whether you and the other have the same meaning for words and/or actions – it pulls you into the present.
Perspective gets you into the figure/ground aspect of the interaction and allows for paradigm identification and paradigm shifting.
And perception has aspects of all of the other three. It allows for mindful understanding and mindful action.
It’s like looking at a situation, relationship, or problem from a 360 degree perspective, breadth as well as depth, multi-dimensionally.
So when you are thinking about a situation or a relationship start to use these words as guide posts to increase your mindfulness awareness of yourself and the other(s) involved and see if you don’t get some surprising answers about what may be going on in those situations. Pay attention to your internal guidance through your six senses to see if you can get a multidimensional picture and understanding of the situation or relationship.
You can use your intuitive sense, your observations, questioning skills, and willingness to listen and act in a mindful present moment way and this will have two effects: increase your personal degree of compassion and decrease your personalization of the information – personalization here meaning taking something personally with some sort of negative attachment rather than seeing the information more objectively or mindfully.
Paying attention to the quiet voice within and clarifying your intention – these will increase your understanding of your inner guidance and give you direction about what is your best right action.
It can also help you know when your best action is non-action, allowing or going with the flow. For some this is the most difficult “action” to take, but when it is connected to this inner knowing it feels active to be in a waiting, allowing space.
Being mindful opens the door to seeing in multiple dimensions and distinguishing different currents of information simultaneously, which creates a space to understand each separately and see how each affect the other.
Copyright, beth gineris, turning Me to we: the art of partnering with mindfulness, 2013.

YOU can Gather support from the natural environment.

Meditate, create art, work in the garden, exercise, walk through nature, in reconnecting with the tapestry of life you can see the support there as you offer shift in consciousness to your human community.

Shed your skin, Trust your heart-centered, inner guidance IV system. Live your life fully and allow your full, big self to be present in the tapestry of life. You may experience a new Alignment within you, around you and between you and source. in love and light, bg

Find out more in my new book,Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

Aligning with your true path, your true self with your multidimensional sight allows for healing.

July 4, 2015
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

American ideals, Independence Day, and the Elevation of Consciousness

Seemingly it is the sixties again…from the alternative world to the mainstream news, the children of the sixties, who are now in their sixties are interpreting events to fit their agenda. It doesn’t matter if you read your astrology: the writers want to bring back the sixties, or if you watch the news: there are riots in the streets because of racism… it’s as if the children of the sixties have only one style of interpreting the events around them. Their view of the world has overtaken that of those that were in power before them (the fifties generation)…. it’s not that strange for social groups to want to create the world in their image…it’s the rhetoric which is problematic for me. I can see their point, I see where they are coming from, the problem is that it is out of sync out of the timespace of thinking, it limits the opportunity for true consciousness elevation. Collaboration, unity, and the understanding, true belief that we are all one world. requires ascension, it requires seeing in a higher dimension, not dualistic but multidimensionally to work toward creating that unity.

I was raised in the same set of beliefs. I challenged my parent’s worldview. I learned to think in a liberal environment and questioned authority. I was a strong Kennedy Liberal.

Now that the liberal perspective is the authority, the question authority challenge has to come from the libertarian or conservative perspective.

It’s a neutral theme about how to think critically.

I understand that politics is full of propaganda, but propaganda doesn’t serve the alternative community.

The alternative community is where innovation, and really holding the middle space should be coming from. Unfortunately, I see propaganda coming through in astrology readings, channelings, and fringe prediction on a daily basis.

This is my litmus test. Once I hear or read a push toward propaganda I know that person is pushing their ego perspective not channeling from a high source. When I channel information I am continually surprised by the level of love and neutrality and elevated information I receive and hear. Consistently I experience the beauty of the higher dimensional systems; I may feel a negative sense toward someone in my personhood, but then when I channel from source, I hear source saying that person is light just like me…Source is not in good/bad or third dimension, source in in a dimension beyond fifth.

This may sound a little weird to my readers who are not part of the alternative world. That’s cool, let’s look at it from a more cognitive perspective.

My world view is not that of the hippie, partly because I am just too young to have that part of my cellular structure (although I have lots of peers that have gripped that belief system), partly because I am driven toward congruence. Which is to say if I am challenging another to be loving and kind I strive to treat that person the way I am entreating them to treat others. That is not what is happening in the community at large from the mainstream perspective. More often than not I observe hatefulness, superiority, righteousness, and a demeanor of superiority in my fiercely liberal friends toward their political opposites or those whom they propagandize as against their beliefs. That feels deeply incongruent with the liberal agenda of being compassionate toward others. Whenever acting in a way outside of what you are requesting to be the action toward yourself, then you are not living in an integrated spirit self mindful space.

I was raised by a person whose life-breath was integrated compassion and mindfulness derived from his amazing intellect. This integrated spiritual/cognitive mindfulness became my natural way in the world; it became my life-breath. In addition, I was lucky enough to not push down my sensory guidance system that results in a sensefulness knowing that connects me to other humans, animals, plants, nature and spirit in an inexplicable way, and assists me in knowing that we are one world, one planet, one group – all.

I am an immigrant’s daughter. My people left a difficult place to make a better life. They worked hard to make that a truth. No handouts, nothing for free. Those hard life stories that aren’t a myth but reality for my people. My father was the baby of 13 children. His father died when he was a teenager. He won a scholarship to university in Chicago, due to his amazing intellect, and had to forego it to work full time to support his mother. His mother had to mortgage her home to send him to night school, which he completed in 3 years while still working. He took care of his sisters, his mother, and his family, whenever asked. He was the first of his generation to get a college degree. He worked hard, started five businesses, each successful, and then sent all of his children to college. We went on to get graduate degrees, and for one of us from Ivy league Universities. I am the child of a man who moved five social class positions in his short lifetime and then raised me with principles that used to be considered ‘American principles’.

I went to a very liberal, liberal arts college where I was taught HOW to think, not what to think, all perspectives were offered and supported, it was my job to develop critical thinking and decode for myself what mattered. And I came back home challenging my parents’ belief systems, looking at how my country was making mistakes and believing we could make the whole world better through mindfulness, communication, compassion and care. I traveled to Europe and my continent neighbors, and I saw how countries, like people, were not all cut from the same cloth. Different things worked successfully for different countries just as they do for different personalities. I studied Sociology and breathed-in the understanding that culture defines and creates thinking in a way that sometimes shifts a person out of critical, mindful thinking. I learned that you have to challenge the belief systems that ‘seem’ natural and like breathing, because those are ideas that were introjected, swallowed whole, rather than a function of critical thinking. (gestalt therapy, theory, peeling the onion, how to create mini-cultural revolutions) I worked in the chronic mental health community and helped people caught in that community to interact more efficiently in a world that didn’t quite make sense. I interacted with and helped people in the fringe of our society, always with compassion and care. I learned a lot about how culture, experience and dualistic thinking created the problems surrounding the American culture.

Now, I write about mindfulness and sensfulness, ecopsychology, multidimensional interaction and the elevation of consciousness. The answer is not in either the liberal or conservative perspective, it is in transcending and including BOTH. The answer is in integrating the diverse belief systems so that they are interacting in a positive, caring, accepting collaborative way.

How is this related to Independence day? The people who strove to change the nation were like my father, integrated spiritual people. They made an effort to transcend the rebellious pull, to create a thoughtful design to maintain a space in the middle, to help those who show up in the nation to create a real change in how people were treated. They were imperfect, they couldn’t change some of the beliefs that were against their spiritual knowing, so they wrote the Declaration of Independence to include what they knew to be true that all people were created equal, all had the right to life and liberty. As the years go by we create the fullness of that truth with all people, and for my mind all sentient beings on the planet and the planet herself. There is still more work to go to elevate the consciousness of the planet. But those men then created an avenue through the declaration of independence to offer a way to create a higher level of consciousness right here. For that reason I am proud to be an American, and through that care and love for this experiment, I am dragging in the entire human race, the animals and plants and stars, hoping that soon, very soon all can see how we are one people, one world. how wolves change rivers

From my experience with Sociology, with helping people in many different communities and cultures, we aren’t going to get there by demeaning groups through propaganda. We can do it through a real dialogue, sincerely using sensefulness and mindfulness in a multidimensional way to create a healing and an elevation of consciousness on the planet. The empathic civilization, Jeremy Rifkin

With each step you can step onto the Path to Grace.

It requires internally challenging your knee-jerk reactions, belief systems, and those things that trigger you to anger and hatefulness.healing survivor scenarios
Act from a compassionate understanding place with an ernest desire to understand your fellow and sister perspective so that you can learn and grow and clarify your own perspective.
Act toward others with the loving care you desire from them. Use the golden and silver rule to guide you and the elevation of consciousness is at hand.

Not all will survive this powerful time. Each of you can maintain your integrated mindfulness and sensefulness, and while you are learning from others, they are learning from you. This will create the space for an elevation in consciousness. five element cleanse

Gather support from the natural environment.

Find out more in my new book,Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

Aligning with your true path, your true self in your multidimensional self allows for healing.

May 18, 2015
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

Aligning your multidimensional field, Reiki energy symbols

In the early nineties, I had the great experience of working and training with two powerful Reiki practitioners in Albuquerque, NM. After several years of interaction, training, and practice, I began to use these healing skills to assist others in shifting the unseen fields around them, as well as their cognitive habits that interfered with their growth. This training deeply informed my natural Medical Intuitive ability. It gave form and structure to the information that I had received and intuited since beginning my therapy practice, and allowed me a process to share this information more effectively.

This was the beginning of a long journey of developing myself as the vehicle for change, so that not only did I have access to my words, cognitive headstands, care, mindfulness, compassion, and stillness, I also had access to healing via energy exchange with my hands.

Long before I had read a book called Joy’s Way (W. Brugh Joy, MD, 1979). I knew that what he described in his book, was what happened in therapy with my clients and patients. I could feel other’s pain, or emotional energy, negative or positive; I was affected by the energy of spaces; and I had strong time-space continuum experiences of previous lives with the people with whom I came into contact. I noticed if I asked, an answer would come – a knowing. I could see problems in spaces by simply asking to see the space and look for negative energy. I learned later this was called remote viewing and remote clearing; and that my knowing was like channeling, or a form of clairvoyance. But for me it was simply natural, like breathing. Actually for a long time it was more trouble than helpful, because I knew things about others that they didn’t precisely know themselves. It created lots of trouble in personal relationships, as you might imagine. And because I could feel other’s pain, I felt a lot of pain in me. It took some time to discern what was me and what was other.

He discussed how he saw, felt the power energy centers in the hands, and feet, splenic area, knees, elbows and hips, as well as the chakras in the multidimensional field of his patients. This was a way in which he could assist them in their healing.

(This was not his image, but offers information about the energy fields).

I used the long distance technique solely until I received my Doctor of Oriental Medicine License in 2005. And today I continue to find the long distance technique as most supportive and healing as it allows individuals to have access to the healing energy at any time.

This has made me into a lovely healing channel for those who find their way into my office. You can read about my experience finding my husband’s cancer in a previous blog, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/05/26/instinctive-knowing/ on this site or my book Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness book (2011)

I found the Reiki symbols were very helpful at increasing my sensibilities and focusing my compassion and care with the elevation of Universal Love. And I found the principles as profoundly valuable:

In 1995 Diane Stein wrote a book called Essential Reiki in which she printed the powerful Reiki symbols. Previously these symbols were only received at attunements, after study and practice with a Reiki practitioner. It was a big deal among practitioners that she chose to do this. I felt it was a great opportunity for many more people to be inspired by the power of healing their etheric, emotional, and cognitive fields allowing for a new alignment with spirit.

Since that time I have used the symbols to help others increase their connection to Universal Love. Reiki energy is pure healing energy, it connects to Universal Love. It cannot be used for something negative; this is to say one cannot use the symbols to increase their power to do something harmful.

I use the symbols to protect my daughter as she leaves for school, or when she is away from me. It allows her to be surrounded by positive energy and assists her to remain mindful, connected to source. I did this for Max when he was younger and I feel it helped him through many difficult times.

Here are the symbols: The top symbol is called ‘cho ku rei‘. It is the Power symbol in that it empowers the person and it empowers the other symbols. The next one pictured is called ‘sei he ki’. It assists in clearing emotional trauma or incorrect thinking. You can use this symbol in conjunction with a positive mantra, like I am loved, and then follow that statement with the power symbol. The third symbol is called the ‘hon sha ze sho nen’ and it is the tree of life symbol it connects heaven and earth, it is used for long distance healing and to assist in proper alignment to the person and the chakra system.

To use the symbols they are drawn either in the air or on paper from left to right and top to bottom, then the name is stated three times (in your head or out loud). The you may say the mantra three times and then draw the power symbol to empower the mantra and symbols. With the tree of life symbol again it is drawn left to right then top to bottom, like a painting, the name is i=said three times and then the power symbol is drawn. The power symbol is drawn from right to left then down and around clockwise to increase power or turn on the light switch. (Diane Stein offers information in her book about the power of clockwise and counterclockwise drawing of the power symbol.)

I encourage you to use these for yourself. At first, to understand, and increase, your understanding of how they assist you before using them with others.

One of the best ways to assist you in elevating your consciousness is to choose to follow one of the Reiki principles above, by saying for example, “just for today … and then complete with one of the principles above like…. “Just for today, I will not anger”.

Witness yourself as you go through your day. By choosing to not anger, you may find more opportunities to practice than normally…and you may also see new avenues for dealing with conflict, disagreements and interpreted injuries, so that you have the opportunity to see anger as an alarm that a boundary has been crossed, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/01/20/befriending-anger-to-increase-happiness/ or that you are caught in a habit reaction patterning https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2012/09/09/anxiety-and-the-development-of-ineffective-habit-reactions/ allowing you to shift your perspective, use your mindfulness, elevate your consciousness, and experience increased compassion, understanding and healing.

You may experience a new Alignment within you, around you and between you and source. in love and light, bg

Find out more in my new book,Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

Aligning with your true path, your true self in your multidimensional self allows for healing.

May 4, 2015
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 2 Comments

health stats

Pay attention to your Health stats.

When your immune system is down. Think about how you can shift your nutrition and build in meditation yoga and stress management — these are your best treatments to build immune.

Crazy simple: sleep, exercise, good food, and breathwork are best at healing your body.

In terms of nutrition focus on dark berries, dark leafy greens, quinoa, eggs, dark beans, and white beans.

In terms of supplements – D3, a good B stress, like B100- which includes b2, b4, b6, b12, niacin and folic acid, C with rosewood and cranberry to assist in intake.

If you are a vegetarian make sure you get iron (you can take a plant based supplement called floradex) and zinc (make sure you get a formula that has the proper zinc and copper relationship or chelated zinc) These can assist you.

Vegetarianism is a great way to get nutrition- you just have to be good at getting enough protein and immune support from beans, chickpeas, berries and yogurt (if you are not lactose intolerant — yogurt is my go to every day to help stay balanced and get protein and digestive enzymes naturally).

Emotions, and lack of spiritual grounding and connection can negatively affect your immune system, that’s the reason for making sure you are participating in stress reducing activities like yoga, meditation, breathwork, and exercise in a balanced way, every day.

Your health is an integrated thing: mind, spirit and body — all three together – good food sustains your body and helps with balanced thinking and spirit source connection – so does breathwork and exercise prayer and meditation – it isn’t usually one thing but all together in harmony that maintain your health.

You can find out more – just search this site for: 4×4 habits for health. Spirit, mind, body, community.

There are many articles on balancing spirit mind and body, and resetting your thinking.

Spirit : breath, meditation, yoga, Qi gong, connection to your natural inner senses as sensory guidance system.
Mind: stress reduction, cognitive retraining, forgiveness, gratitude, paradigm shifting. Reducing anxiety and shifting depressive thinking.
Body: food, water, rest, and exercise
Community offers connection and Rejuvenation
Best supplements identified above as well as inositol hexaphosphates and inositol
Best yoga position – find yoga strategies for health, check out this site for more information about how yoga and health are related.

http://www.yogitimes.com/profile.php?personid=ccb1d07df8696726b3558076d5c94ff2&secid=9aa353048879c62132507f66483db25f&prof_tab=recent_post

Best foods – brain food, https://integrativemedicinestrategiesnow.wordpress.com/2012/11/19/brain-food-really/
Best spices – health spices https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/11/19/smile/

And finally, if you feel sad, apathetic, lost, out of sync, unable to find your way in the world, consider creating space in your life, every day, to return to nature.

Hike in the mountains, walk on the beach, take a walk through the park. Swing on a swing, ride a bike..reconnect to nature all around you. You can feel this even through the plants in your lobby or on your windowsill.

The more you allow yourself the opportunity to reconnect with nature, the more likely you will feel a release of negativity and an inner communication that you may have earlier silenced so that you can again or for the first time feel deeply connected to the tapestry of life.

The trees inhale your carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen. You inhale oxygen and exhale Carbon dioxide. We, the trees and humans, animals, birds, are all interconnected in one tapestry of life. Part of the intense degree of disconnect seen in the field of mental health is the severe disconnection humans experience from the natural sense communication in nature. Go out into nature and you can begin again to develop your internal sensory guidance senses first with the five plus one senses of sight, smell, taste, sound, touch and intuition, and then as you develop your sense awareness these will expand tenfold.

With these actions you will discover your own personal path to grace.

Find out more about this in future writings on this blog and through my new book, Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

in love and light, bg

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg

March 20, 2015
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

break down, break up, break out, breakthrough

When you feel you are hitting a wall in your relationships consider the difference in these four concepts in how you respond to the blockage.

Break down: it’s like a flat tire. You stop. You cannot move forward or backward. You’re in a stagnant, sometimes involuting situation. This leads to disease, disconnection, and stagnation. Following a break down you can discover a way to break through.
Break up: complete disconnection. Separation. Detached, unattached. This can be very positive when there is a stalled situation that has no mutually satisfying resolution.
Break out: again disconnection, freeing from a tethering or prison or domination. Following a Break out you may be able to discern a break through.
Break through: This is an elevation. A shift in consciousness. In this phrase there is a freeing from a tethering of inner belief that is holding you back. Breaking through requires mindfulness and paradigm shifting.

If you are in a situation that has stalled, where you are experiencing a need for change or a revolving unresolved conflict…consider which of these is your best action.

I encourage you to look at the last phrase as a guide this will allow you to find new solutions to old problems.
To get more help with this please see these earlier bogs on this site.https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/06/03/feeling-gods-presence/; https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2012/04/09/truth-within-inner-guidance-i/; https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/08/19/how-insecurity-interferes-with-getting-what-you-want/; https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2013/03/09/trust-yourself-or-if-you-meet-the-buddha-on-the-road-kill-him/ and https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2011/10/06/shifting-perspectives-my-personal-adventure/.

You can get there from here…when you use the phrase break through you have the chance of reclaiming yourself, reconnecting with your partner, and shifting the world in which you live simultaneously…how great is that? in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. Go outside, reconnect with your center with a walk in nature. in love and light, bg

February 9, 2015
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

Smile + Do a cognitive headstand = Mindful Loving Relationships

Partnering with Mindfulness offers the opportunity to have thriving, mindful, mutually empowering relationships. In November, I wrote about how to negotiate the holidays with grace and included this acronym as a way to focus your energy. https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/11/19/smile/. I have reposted some of it here:

Smile: Spirit, Mind, Intention, aLignment, and Energy
Spirit: reconnect to your heart’s joy through tastes and smells that elevate your heart connection: dark chocolate, helps to calm your heart and treat palpitations and and anxiety ( not too much at a time of course) Blue and red berries, great antioxidants and blood builders help to elevate your mood, cinnamon has a calming warming effect, and a positive side effect of balancing blood sugar so helps to balance mood, the sweet licorice taste of fennel, tarragon, and anise help to calm cramping, aids digestion and calms the heart. Ylang ylang, orange zest, lime, bergamot, rose, geranium, and vanilla all assist to set the mood. They have positive effects at the olfactory level and assist to reduce feelings of depression, apathy, anger, and insecurity and increase feeling of joy, connection, acceptance, and forgiveness.
Mind: Shift your attitude to where you actually have power, engage compassion, forgiveness, and perspective shifting. (see below the 2 steps that assist in this activity).
Intention: reset to your parasympathetic nervous system. Breathe! Slow down and rest then refocus from your center. Identify what you really want to accomplish- what is your goal for the holiday ? — Begin with the attitude of gratitude.
aLignment: reorder your priority: Focus on what you WANT, rather than what you Fear – See and focus on what is working – What you are grateful for – Stand in the center of your internal power… About what you know about yourself and our partner and what feels like love to your partner…try to live there.

Feeling loved has the qualities of acceptance and feeling seen. Really loving has the qualities of seeing with acceptance and understanding.

Most people spend their lives looking for love and or acceptance. The best way to feel love is to love another.

A book by Eric Fromm called The Art of Loving, is one of my guiding sources for how to love as well as the book The Road Less Travelled by Scott Peck. These books provide a view of love that is an offering for a paradigm shift from the traditional concepts of loving and seeing. It’s about how to see the other, to experience and offer love more fully with acceptance and compassion. (see this post for more information: https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/07/20/love/ )

Energy: Release and let go of historical grudges – forgive, (if the action is something that disallows you from seeing the person – this is a reasonable choice -> it is the holding on that I am suggesting you release – it happened, it changed you or the other person or your relationship – accept that fact, and then release the anger, fear, and negativity so that it can be placed into your history and not create stress or disease in the now). Part of energy is movement so if you begin to feel down remember to eat whole foods, drink clean and healing water, BREATHE, and get your body moving, with dance, yoga, or hiking to get the bugs out, go into nature and experience the tapestry of life all around you sometimes hidden when we are focused on too much thinking and not enough heart….Energy is also part of everything above..it is the culmination of integrated spirit, body, and mind lead by your heart- intuition.

Smile. The actual action of smiling relieves, heals, builds your immunities, offers an opportunity for connection to others in peace and on the same plane. It is a gift to yourself and a gift to those with whom you interact. It is a flower that can uplevel your and other’s consciousness. Smile with gratitude, in forgiveness, to rejuvenate, –>> return to balance.

Another great post on how to https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/07/23/the-art-of-partnering-with-mindfulness-how-to-get-there-in-2-easy-steps/. Here are some helpful tips from that post:

The most challenging aspect of relationship is connecting…not when you feel all gooey and lovey, but when you feel hurt, disconnected, or angry…of course that is one of the most important times to connect..

Try these two steps when you are faced with that situation..

Do a cognitive head stand:
Think of everything you like about that person, whether you feel angry because of something they did or didn’t do or say OR hurt by them in some way,
This focuses you on why you want to work out the disconnect and how much you care about him or her… once you do that, you free yourself up from the defensive, fight posture and open yourself up to the connection posture…
Hold an image of the person in your mind in that loving space when you begin to discuss the problem…every time you feel his or her negativity, reorient yourself internally – look at that image,
That will help you communicate from your heart, you will have to say what is bugging you, but HOW you say it will be what is communicated – the love and connection.

Consider this: ‘It’s not about being right it’s about be with (connecting)…that’s the glue of relationship.’ (Gineris, 2013, Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness).

Relationships are dynamic and multi-level. You come in and out of being in the same space. Sometimes you are completely in sync and when that happens you flow. When you feel the stickiness, the flow not flowing, but sticking, then you have to check your perspective and reorient yourself.

It helps to remember what brought you to the relationship in the first place.

This requires you shift out of a right/wrong, defensive perspective and into a clarity of connection. It requires you disperse and shift defensiveness in to connection.

Defensiveness is a product of feeling attacked. In most relationships defensiveness is the way in which the fight continues…so if you feel defensive, you can shift out of it through the above two step process. Defensiveness and competition go hand in hand.

Competition is a wonderful thing. It is a great way to discern who is the best athlete or competitor of the people who showed up to the event…but in relationship competition can be divisive, and create distance, and resentment. In relationship individuals are looking to be seen, accepted, and co-create. There can be a sharing of leadership, and knowledge and teaching.

Connection and collaboration – interdependence is the key.

Collaboration offers the best style of interaction in relationship. You cannot collaborate when you are vying for proof of rightness. Collaboration is a byproduct of mindful paradigm shifting. It allows both parties to share personal perspectives while discovering a centered place where both perspectives meet.

Family and love relationships are the kind of relationships where this is most paramount.

Often it is a tone, phrase, feeling, or style of interacting, that creates the defensiveness.

Left over resentments, and injuries must be resolved. Partners and family members must let go, forgive, reset, if they are going to continue in the relationship. This is the only way to disperse the defensiveness. If an injury or resentment is too big to release then you may have come to the end of the line with that relationship. Release it with love and forgiveness. Discern what is your part and make a lesson of the loss to assist you in future relationships. Don’t hold on. Let go.

When you are bound to the injury and resentment and also unwilling to let go of the relationship, you can create a difficult and unpleasant relationship.

Whenever you feel defensive, look to see what is underneath…is it connected to a historical relationship? Is it connected to an unresolved injury or resentment? Clarify what is underneath, unearth it and bring it to the surface. Then use the above two step process to try to resolve the problem with your partner. If it is unresolvable, allow yourself to release the unforgiveness. Forgive your partner and yourself; this may result in the dissolution of the relationship but it will create a freeing within you to honestly connect in your future relationships without holding the next person accountable for an unresolved injury. Namaste, in love and light, bg

Use the word SMILE to focus your energy for the Valentines day weekend. If you are struggling with your partner or feeling out of sync use the 2 steps above to reset your focus and remember what brought you together. Let go of being right – move into connection and alignment…whether in a relationship or not these will help you be mindful in your life. in love and light,bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..

February 4, 2015
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

4×4 habits 2 health, week 5, focus on hydration and nutrition

5-8 weeks, hydrate with clean filtered water, nourish with whole foods, rest, and exercise to detoxify your lymph, digestive, and liver systems AND strengthen your heart, immunity and skin. Glowing from the inside and on the outside. Yes!

So for week 5, focus on hydration and nourishment.

Hydration:

Start with drinking three to four liters of clean, filtered water each day. (Best to use reverse osmosis filtered system in your home or from one of your natural grocery stores.)
That’s between 48 and 64 ounces OR six to eight 8-ounce glasses of water.
So the important note here is that hydration requires water, not tea, not coffee, not diet coke, not juice – water.
If you are an athlete or you sweat a lot you are best served to be on the 64 ounce end of the continuum and may need to add another liter(quart).
Water is used by every cell in your body. It enhances movement in your joints, helps to plump skin, assists your lymph system in detoxification and your digestive system in detoxification . http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2908954/ read this important article for more specific information.
It is a major component of a healthy brain. Low levels of dehydration can cause discontinuity in mood regulation and thinking skills. moderate amounts of dehydration can cause delirium.
(Too much water is not good on this end so you can get too much of a good thing – ask any marathon runner who over hydrated – you get some of those symptoms that look like dehydration nausea, pain and dizziness but you will notice that your hands are swollen and your thinking is off.)

Simply making this ONE change in your life can positively affect your experience of pain, or simply take it away. It can positively shift your ability to be active, to learn and remember, to move free of pain, to look rested and rest more easily, and detoxify your physical elimination systems. WOW! Do this and you free yourself to make some of the other suggested changes to thinking, attitude and community. ( future weeks blogs)

Nourishment:

Nourish with Whole Foods.
So this means avoid modified, or deconstructed foods that you may find in boxed food or already prepared fast food. There is not enough nutrition there, and in some cases the product is not something that can be assimilated by your cellular structure.
You want to eat foods that are grown in organic, local communities if you can.
Eat meat that is grass fed, free range, consider that you want the animal to have had a life before its death. The Qi you get from your nourishment is only as nourishing as the components of the animal. If the animal lived in squalor, fear, and despair then that’s the Qi you are putting into your body. Be grateful to the animal for the sacrifice it made so that you could eat. If this seems too out there for you – consider that just as you are spirit mind body, integrated, and community as a social being, Understand through mindful, critical analysis that an animal in stress from a lack of connection to community and its natural state so that it can feed you will have huge amounts of cortisol and other endocrine elements of stress in its flesh and that is the foundation on which you will be building your health…that lack of foundation results in disease. It results in diminished immunity, out of control auto-immune issues, mental-emotional imbalance, and hormonal endocrine issues, a lack of nourishment which can lead to overeating and feeling un-nourished.
Use spices to create synergism in your digestive, immune, and endocrine systems.
To keep your bowels moving, at least once or twice a day, (You will positively affect this with water, as above.) add a daily supplement of magnesium citrate.
Use fennel, ginger, and cinnamon to help you absorb the food nutrients you need and get rid of the stuff you don’t.
Flax seeds are helpful as well as sweet potatoes, butternut squash, yams, and parsnips.
Cinnamon in the morning in a bowl of oatmeal or in your morning drink will balance your blood sugar. It treats hypoglycemia naturally.
My favorite tip from my Chinese Medical training is EAT the RAINBOW.
When you look on your plate see the colors of the rainbow – purples, reds, greens, yellows and oranges…
if you look down and see a lot of brown and white — you are not eating in a way that is most nourishing for the systems that make your body work. Change to a more naturally colorful diet and your body will work more efficiently.
Eat eight to ten servings of colorful fruits and vegetables and specifically include, every day, the family of the cruciferous vegetables, broccoli, collards, kale, cabbage, brussels sprouts, kohlrabi, as well as the garlic family, leeks, garlic, chives, and onions, which help increase sulfur in the body and help detoxification.
Avoid stimulants, sedatives, and drugs.
Eliminate nicotine, diet soda, cola, and sugary, high caffeine drinks.
Drink coffee and tea, and eat chocolate (high cacao only) in moderation.
Keep alcohol intake at a minimum and definitely not daily.

It may take some time to incorporate these ideas into your daily routine. Here is a great blog about important information about best foods to help your brain. https://integrativemedicinestrategiesnow.wordpress.com/2012/11/19/brain-food-really/ .

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

InstinctiveHealthParenting4U

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