I went to a conference recently that focused on healing core beliefs. The idea behind the conference is
“What you believe you perceive, and what you perceive you experience”
Each of us fashions our life on misbeliefs.
Beliefs we developed in response to injuries, loss, and difficult situations.
The mind puts together an equation that reads: if this then that… if there is a contest then I will not win..the belief being I never win anything. Or I never get picked first. Or even deeper I am not Worthy or Loved.
When you build your life on a core misbelief such as I am not worthy or I am not lovable. Your experiences lead you to this conclusion.
Let’s check out how one might create a structure that teaches her that message over and over again.
With a core belief I am not worthy: You might choose lovers or partners that either don’t have the communication skills to share with you your worth; You would experience always feeling taken for granted or unimportant.
Or you might choose people who are so self-focused they can’t see you (such as a neurotic or narcissistic personality); You would experience that nothing you ever did was good enough so that you mattered.
Or you might choose people who need you to take care of them and they can’t focus their energy on you…in that instance you would have to give and give without experiencing receiving love.
You might choose overwhelming tasks that you could not accomplish. Or you might accomplish many things and still feel empty after completing them
The tendency is to think the problem is with the other person.
Catch yourself, notice if there is a pattern. Is it in all your partners, close friends, lovers? If it is, it may be more about you and your core belief.
This isn’t to say that the other person might not have the issue you think he does.
It’s just that if you want to change you experiences you have to change your core beliefs.
It’s harder to do than you think. It takes real courage to see how you are holding yourself back from having the love or life you want.
Usually these core beliefs are set up from a standpoint of necessity. They are a result of injury, trauma, something that has gone wrong in your original psychosocial development. They may have been true about that one event, but not generalizable to all of life. Once in place they are like shorthand, if this then that. I have to give and give, no one will ever love me just for myself…how do I know because that’s how (fill in the blank important caregiver) treated me. And, it’s not that person’s fault either.
It’s a belief.
It isn’t solid or real. It drives the mind, but it doesn’t have to drive the heart.
Go into your heart feel your beauty, your lovableness, your worth. Love yourself first then you will experience the love from those around you …and no that isn’t narcissism, that’s the flow of life.
It comes from within first. Then it touches on everything else. in love and light, bg
Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2016 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.
You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).
You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
Discover your path, set an intention for what you want to create in your life: It’s difficult to get where you’re going without a map.
There was such a positive and powerful response to the first section of chapter one, I thought I would offer the second section to the chapter…please let me know your sense about it… in love and light, bg
I notice the Dean’s lips are moving, but I can’t quite make out what she is saying. Oh good. Finally she is talking.
Involuntarily, I shivered. She was sitting right next to me, but I couldn’t really understand what she was saying; the words were coming in like an out of tune radio station, they just didn’t make any sense. And then I heard her, sharp and clear…
“Robbie is dead.” “His car went off the road Saturday morning. The police think he was killed instantly.”
The thoughts inside my head blew about me … No! No, he isn’t dead; he can’t be dead. I have to tell him… I have to see him. I have to tell him how sorry I am. I have to tell him I’m ready to marry him.
His face flashed across my inner vision. The feelings from our last meeting crashed in my heart.
Flash. Crash!
No! I have to set this right.
I heard my words reverberate back to me. “No! No, he isn’t dead.” “No you mean he’s in the hospital. He’s just hurt; he’ll be okay,” as if I was giving her the corrected line. I couldn’t accept what she was saying.
My urgency must have been unbearable for her. Her eyes blinked with tears. Gently, her head shook no.
She reached across the space on the couch to comfort me, patting my leg rhythmically. I felt faint. The room began to spin. I fell into her chest as she continued to now rhythmically pat my shoulder. She supported me as I broke down.
Her voice unwavering, “No Beth, he is not in the hospital. He’s gone.” He was gone? He left me without knowing that I had changed my mind?
Our last interaction, me being such a jerk, was now unforgivable.
It hit me like a one, two punch to my stomach. He was gone, my beautiful future stolen from me. My uncaring and inflated behavior was our last interaction. It stood like a headstone marker on his grave.
Her words and my memories pierced through my consciousness like a knife through my heart. The pain was debilitating. I couldn’t breathe.
I felt at the edge of nothingness, completely powerless. I sat there deflated, like a pierced party balloon. I don’t know how long I remained in this state. When I looked up, the sun was no longer shining and the trees outside mirrored my inner storm.
I finally composed myself enough to walk out of her office.
Her secretary smiled at me weakly as I passed down the hall.
It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other; I could barely walk. I found myself at my dorm room. Thankfully, my suitemate returned to her previous muteness.
That was the only thing that returned to normal. Everything and everyone else was different. Night came and left. Day came and turned to night. Life continued around me but I was not a part of it. I felt robotic, disconnected, remote and out of sync with the whole of life around me. I couldn’t tolerate the birds singing or my friends laughing, wherever joy presented itself I turned away. Happiness grated on me like nails on a chalkboard.
I recoiled from life. Spiritless on the inside, I couldn’t even find the energy to fake it on the outside.
The image of her sweater with black marked stains stuck with me for a long time.
I numbly completed my last semester of college, in a fog, unable to concentrate on anything. Everything changed. I couldn’t bear to listen to music, people laughing, or see my friends. And it seemed they avoided me too. I was flat and lifeless; there wasn’t much there for connection.
Entire days went by without me seeing anyone.
I felt desolate, angry with myself, angry with Robbie, lonely and lost.
In the days that passed, I discovered how in his last moments of his precious life Robbie reoriented the direction of the car to save his passenger’s life. A stranger to our community, this sweet young man began to wish he had died instead of Robbie. To his face I said “no, no…don’t think that.” But in my heart I screamed, yes, yes, why do you get to live; why not Robbie. I hated myself for thinking and feeling that way. I couldn’t stop my heart pain. Life was so difficult and challenging. I was walking though water without a regulator, drowning with every breath.
That heroism was so consistently Rob’s character; he was always there at the right time, loyal and dependable when it really mattered. Why didn’t he save himself? I was coming back for him.
Inconsolable, time passed in starts and spurts, and then it seemed to trickle by. So much of my energy went to managing my grief that little was left to relate to friends or complete my studies.
“Beth, I’m giving you this A grade because of your work here-to-for, not for the work in this paper.” The words written in red ink across the front of my final paper stung, but I was grateful for the understanding of my dearest sociology professor.
“This is sub-par work Beth, but I know this has been a difficult time so I’m giving you an A in the class anyway.” Another painful note in red from my psychology professor, I vacillated between painful prickling and numbness. I was grateful for their understanding. There was nothing inside to pull on for my studies; I was bereft of passion. There was just enough life in me to robotically go through the motions.
For the next six weeks, my senses were in a state of paresthesia; over and over my professors forgave my distracted, poor work.
Working at 20 percent, I limped into graduation.
Two months after Robbie’s death I graduated, said goodbye to my friends and school, and shut the door to my previous life.
Spiritless, I walked into my barren future. I was the skin you see from a cicada, perfectly formed with no life inside.
I filled the space with work.
Astonishingly, my logical, solution-focused father was the dearest comfort to me during that time.
Notes arrived. They slowly filled the empty space in my apartment and heart.
“Hi honey, thinking of you! Dad” staring at me as I brushed my teeth.
“Remember to get out and see friends. Dad” taped to my steering wheel. I taped them to my mirror, and used them as bookmarks. They marked my path back to life.
He had an unerring capacity to simply be present with me in my grief.
“Here’s a picture of Robbie from when he was at the house. Love, Dad” That picture became my velveteen rabbit.
One day on the phone he told me that Robbie (unbeknownst to me) arrived in my hometown earlier in the year that Robbie had died; he asked my father’s blessing to marry me.
The pictures of them together at my house simultaneously felt stabbing and comforting. He knew I would come around. He knew I loved him. He had to have known to fly from New York City to Albuquerque, just to see my Dad.
I kept seeing his face at that last meeting, and feeling how out of sync my actions were. It was shocking and triggered intense discomfort. Steadily though, my unconscious kept driving me toward forgiveness. Like a river pushes and pulls fragments down the current, my thoughts drove me toward forgiveness of him, forgiveness of me, forgiveness of God.
My Dad and I shared this deep love for Robbie.
“He was a good man honey. He loved you so much. I’m glad I got to know him. Keep working it will help you stay strong. You can come home any time you want to honey. Love, Dad.” He loved you so much, stay strong, those words reverberated in my mind. It was one of the best notes I received from my Dad. I kept it in my favorite journal.
I worked by day as a law firm runner in LA and by evening as a residential counselor with developmentally delayed adolescents, teaching them independent-living skills.
I loved running by moonlight through downtown LA.
I savored my time alone. I don’t know if it was punishment or protective but it was healing. It gave me time to think, forgive, and distance myself from the intensity of what had happened. Although I did most things alone, I shared my apartment with my best friend from college. She was mostly gone working on political campaigns. I was mostly gone working. It was a perfect arrangement for healing.
I loved her so much because I didn’t have to explain what was going on with me. She knew. She loved me anyway. Other than Trish, I can’t remember making any friends.
My memories of that time are like snippets of fabric sewn together with travel along the Southern California freeways.
After fourteen months my senses came back.
Trish had to move to another state to follow an important campaign. I decided to move back to Albuquerque.
It seemed that light began to come back into my daily life.
I heard the birds singing and it didn’t make me want to yell stop. Music was inviting. I danced.
Somewhere, I found the space within me to have faith again in the fabric of Life.
Robbie’s death became a defining experience in my life. The importance of love, honesty, forgiveness, and acting in congruence with my true character became the boundaries required for health and freedom in relationship.
Ultimately, I felt my deliverance from my inner prison. Salvation lit me slowly with the realization that he knew I loved him. He saw through everything from beginning to end. I was the last to see the truth and it was too late to enjoy the love waiting for me.
I forgave myself for being immature and unthinking.
I developed an urgent need to be authentic in all my communications, a left over compulsion from that fateful night. It made me a bit intense and probably too serious.
Overtime, I befriended the ebb and flow of life and death.
I came to accept that there was a tapestry of life that I could tap into and flow with but that I had to remain sincere and accept the consequences of my actions.
If I had married Robbie, I may not have become the person I am today, leaving a hole in the fabric of the lives of those whom I have offered healing counsel. That’s how I think about it now. I walk in a state of grace, with a sense of gratefulness for the gifts I developed out of my devastating loss; grateful to have positively affected so many through that loss.
And it was from that knowing I spent my last weeks with my father as he got chemotherapy for end stage pancreatic cancer.
And so here is the first chapter of the book…Working through loss offers deep awareness of the tapestry of life…, how have your traumas elevated your consciousness? Send me a comment or write one in the space below…in love and light, bg
Breathing in Breathing out..
Seems simple enough, right?
True we are all breathing in and out right now.
To Create Space for Breath has more to do with conscious breathing – Inspiration and Letting go of that which does not serve…not only from a physical point of view, spiritually, and emotionally, too.
Practice this right now.
Take a deep breath. What happened – did your chest expand? Great.
Now take a breath in and think about breathing deep into your lower lungs, so deep that your belly expands out… Great!
Now, what do you notice is different between your chest expanding breath and your belly expanding breath?
Write down the differences…describe whether you feel your heart rate increase or decrease; whether you feel more or less relaxed; whether you feel a deeper sense of calm or a readiness to react; describe which allows a focus on your external or internal environment.
Okay. Now that you have your own personal experience on paper you can consciously practice the type of breathing you feel brings you to your center, increases your awareness of your internal sensory guidance system, releases anxiety, and readies you to respond mindfully.
Why focused breathing? Because it puts you back into the driver seat of your life.
Shallow, automatic breathing actually keeps you disconnected from the now. Focused, conscious, mindful breathing brings you back into the center of your being; it allows you to choose How you want to Be in the world; How you want to respond in a given situation. By centering you in the now, you are able to discern what you want to keep in our life and what you want to release. It cuts through anxiety and fear to a quiet inner locus of control that allows your personal sensory guidance system (your five senses and intuition) to guide you through any labyrinth. You may look at this recent blog for even more information about the relationship between will and breath, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/07/18/the-space-between-mindful-breathing-and-will-staying-within-the-threshold-of-calm-strength/ .
As part of your 4×4 Habits 2 Health, Breath is one of the powerful keys to changing your world; to change you from the inside out.
Yoga can be a powerful tool to increasing your positive relationship with breath and your body.
Choosing to create space for breath includes creating the Habit of breathing through your fear, your anxiety, your stress.
Begin each day with three deep relaxing, belly expanding breaths. You may follow this with a more entailed breathing in and breathing out session for five minutes (if you do this remember to make your inhalation shorter than your exhalation, so breathing in for a count of 3 and breathing out for a count of 5) Or 9 sets of Sun Salutation A, see this blog for how to do that: http://www.yogitimes.com/article/re-balance-healing-healer-life.
Create the space to breathe and you will notice a whole new way of being in your life. Apply this to the map you have already created to focus your energy even further and create healthy habits NOW. breathing in love and light, sending it your way, bg
You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.
You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).
You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011).If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg
When you want to feel a shift in your relationship I suggest you shift your perspective. Rather then focusing on what isn’t working, focus on what is truly positive about the relationship.
When you are upset with your partner and you feel hurt or angry, your mind starts to produce examples of what a horrible person your partner has been. Pretty soon you are feeling like you are in a truly terrible relationship.
To create the space to have a better more mutually satisfying relationship you can try these few steps.
You do not have to ignore the negative thing that happened but you can shift your attention to the whole.
place your concern or displeasure aside and focus on the whole of the relationship
look at what is working,observe the ways your partner is there for you
Pay attention to what creates the negativity and see if you can shift your energy, positively.
Often the result is that you can feel happier, more secure, and then go to your partner and kindly, compassionately discuss the event and really find some solutions.
Energy flows through attention and intention.
Mindfulness can assist you in shifting the flow of energy from negative to positive.
It’s like a feedback loop of energy, if you feel bad and you focus on negativity, you actually feel worse rather than better.
One of the fastest ways to see what is working in your life and really uplevel your personal consciousness is to identify things for which you feel grateful.
This attitude of gratitude shifts your inner sense of security, from insecurity to secure. It allows you to make choices from a centered, holistic place. It aligns your sense of empowerment, courage, strength, and spiritual openness.
It actually creates the space for you to shift negative situations into positive ones because you will feel more empowered and you can actually see the problem within the context of the greater whole.
You operate more easily, honestly and more in your best interests from a secure, happy, compassionate place.
Any time you are faced with a difficult situation,
take an inner review of how you feel in the now, without going into the drama or trauma you are experiencing…
Consider how you feel toward yourself, your life, your relationships..From 1-10, 1 being joyful and secure and 10 being fearful, depressed, or in despair.
Okay, now write down where you are on that scale and put an emotionally descriptive word by it.
Great.
Now, write down 5 things for which you are grateful.
These can be five things about that person with whom you may be experiencing a sense of displeasure,
OR just five things,
include people or personal qualities that buoy your sense of peace and strength.
Once you have written down your 5 things do a review of how you feel.
Did it change? For most people it does change in a positive way. If you feel better but not completely in your center write down five more. Do this until you feel yourself shift into center. this feeling will feel balanced. Solid internally and yet flexible without. Usually it will take twenty points of gratitude to get you to your centered space, compassionate and whole.
It isn’t that the things that may not be working in your life start working, it’s that you have refocused your energy on the positive so that you can feel strengthened to change the things you can and accept the things you cannot change. It is a mindfulness reset.
This is a great exercise to employ any time you start to feel down and just can’t get out of the rut of negativity.
You can practice this daily, even when you aren’t feeling down but just as a prevention tool to keep you centered.
Practice this daily. Simply identifying what you are grateful for in your life, in your relationships, in your work, and the environment around you. You are developing your mindfulness muscle; you are developing your capacity to see from an integrated and centered perspective. This practice increases your capacity for empathy and forgiveness.
Also, as a habit don’t focus on what isn’t working first. Identify everything that is working in each of your relationships and then you can place the problem within the context of gratitude. It will help you to be solution focused. You will have greater compassion for those with whom you feel conflict and be able to own your own part of any negative situation.
And for those of you who may feel that this practice might make you accept situations that are not good for you, let me assuage your concerns. This practice allows you to actually get out of truly negative situations as well as increase the positivity of those situations that are mutually empowering and good for you. It is a practice in clarity and wholeness.
Note: If you sit down to attempt this practice and you just can’t feel positive about yourself, or your partner, or your situation.. try reseting through toning (sound), and smells. Energy has a lightly substantial quality to it – so if you just had a fight or just had the same fight for the hundredth time you may need to clear the air.
You can do this with sound, ring a bell, or chime a toning bowl to clear your physical environment. Or simply tone with your voice the vowel sounds, eh, ee, ah, O, oo, several times over with increasing breath. This will center you. sound healing shifts the vibration, elevates consciousness May 6, 2014
For a shift through smell you may use essential oil sprays of any citrus for anger and depression. Or rose geranium for apathy or despair. Or clove, lavender, or pine to create a sense of serenity and forgiveness.
Salt has the capacity to suck up negative energy, so you may throw a little salt on the ground to help get the space to neutral. And if you feel that the negative energy is still on you, try washing your hands with a little grapefruit wash or a dab of baking soda.
Once you feel that sense of calm, resume the practice of focusing on what is working in your relationship first, before you put your attention to solving the problem.
Cleansing is the most important habit for health. It helps to keep your homes, environment, bodies, thoughts, and spirit free of toxins. It helps to unclog stagnation and release the garbage that holds you back from living happy, mutually satisfying constantly elevating lives. You can think of the attitude of gratitude as a way to recycle your habitual thinking into new thinking that derives from that centered space within you to give life to your relationships, your evolving self and your environment. in love and light, bg
You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.
You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).
You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011).
If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg
I perceive men and women to be two aspects to a whole; that masculine and feminine (yang and yin) energy create a wholeness within each being, and together for partnering. As with many species the masculine and feminine aspects of the whole are different due to what roles each take within the milieu of the species, and this also varies for each human. So that men and women, each, are comprised of masculine and feminine aspects, for Jung that is like anima and animus within each man and woman, or from the Taoist and Confucian traditions yang and yin.
Feminism would have been better to focus on the concept of equity. So that if a woman was built such that she could carry a gun and fight in a war she could/would have the opportunity to do so..and be paid equally, and if a woman chose to care for her children enter and leave the workforce, her choices, would be supported and honored by the feminist movement.
Women (and Men) supporting all women’s choices increasing the opportunities that were available to women would have been a more fruitful role of the feminist movement.
Instead the leaders and proponents of feminism created a hierarchy of what was acceptable and honored by feminists. What feminism did was demoralize and put down women who chose to do work that the feminist movement was working against, while uplifting the kind of work that was seen as important (an example of this was the attacks on mrs Romney and mrs bush in the media, and by feminists in general, or at least the complete ignoring of how these women were demoralized by the media– ie: treating mrs Romney like she had no value in her opinion because she had ‘never worked’ because ‘all she did was run the household, and raise four or five children on her own, while her husband was working outside the home’).
This lack of outrage, when women who were choosing to take roles that were not supported by feminist theory were attacked, is a form of control. It is a yang style of controlling the message of what being a strong woman is as well as educating the younger generation of women to direct them into specific action, or be left alone without the support of the group (feminists).
This style of control is yang in nature. And the activities supported by the feminist movement values Yang energy and yang roles (aggressive, and pushing up and out energy) over Yin energy and yin roles (caregiving, creative from within, concretizing and supporting energy). Yang is masculine. Yin is feminine. For balance both are required. Focus on one over another results in imbalance.
This is the masculinization of femininity through feminism -> feminists putting down traditional roles and defining what roles were valuable… Focussing on developing yang aspects of femininity over the yin aspects — therefore making yang more valuable than yin. This has negatively affected the whole balance of the species and society.
I see this most starkly with reference to parenting and to a lesser extent on the arguments for abortion at any time for any reason.
The issue of parenting, childrearing and leading through caregiving and passage of culture to children through childrearing is a most powerful and positive role that had been generally embraced by women. Today’s feminists, and the feminists of the nineties through the millennium, have so aligned with the power potential through the yang aspects of power that they have essentially discarded this role. Some say this is in the effort to get women to be taken seriously in the workforce; others more privately report they remember their mothers were not taken seriously or did not have the freedom and power of their gender counterparts and so these women have simply dissected that role from their repertoire of roles.
If, the Feminist focus was on equally representing the value of parenting, running the home- which is like a CEO of a company- even the vast work involved in the running of the many charities that women who are not working outside the home participate in and develop, then it would have increased the value in childbearing, and the recognition that childrearing imparts the beliefs and values of society —
This is the reason that in countries where women are truly repressed, through control of their bodies, highly limited freedom, and the lack of education, the women are unable to effect a positive role in the upbringing of the children and so unable to create a shift away from the demoralization of women in those countries. In America where women have much more freedom, access to education, and greater choice in how they choose to partner, work and live…and thus the ability to create change as part of a group, (which feminism could have offered to women), we have diminished the importance of education, childrearing, charity work, community work and many yin aspects of negotiation, collaboration, compassion, and finding ways to not compete but to strengthen through collaborative work – valuing all parts of the whole not just the winner/ yang aspect.
Feminism has let whole generations down in the out of control focus on yang energy and the masculinization of the feminine.
The focus on individuality- increasing a women’s ‘power’ to have the same ‘rights’ as a man to be free to do whatever she wants, has left no one to help to create the fabric of community which is often the feminine yin role. And it has most negatively affected yin capacities in the social network… Education childrearing, compassion, collaboration.
Competition, power-over in a hierarchical fashion– ever moving upward – all yang aspects are the stronger focus– and many of the civil rights issues of today (not of the sixties for black Americans) are about being accomplished primarily through the very actions that the victimized group is saying shouldn’t be done… This is not transcending the problem to actually uplevel. That was the beauty of Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi, they transcended the anger and the hatred to connect at the human level. They did not attack the perpetrators, but really acted in the way they were requesting of others to act toward their cause.
This is what feminism could do but not what feminism has done. That’s why I call feminism the masculinization of femininity.
Here is an example of feminism in action, young women ostracizing, dismissing, and labeling – saying on one hand that everyone is welcome, and that tolerance of all was paramount, but their specific actions were to be exclusive and not even allow a young woman to speak, based on a label.
Transcending the problem incorporating yin and yang elements to balance would have resulted in an elevation of consciousness wherein women are not discriminated against nor are children or men. To see how children are being harmed by this course of focus by the feminist movement read part 3 of this series. in love and light, bg
Here are three simple steps to create space for Joy to come into your energetic, personal field and Balance your Life.
One remove fight from your vocabulary.
Two focus on your strengths rather than your limitations.
Three Be Grateful…even when you are in dire circumstances.
Whether you experience Joy or not is completely up to you…
What happens to you is outside of your control HOW you respond to what happens to you is COMPLETELY within your control.
Joy is a matter of attention and intention.
Practice these three steps every day and you will create space for JOY.
Your environment may not change immediately but as you change…and because all of life is a system, once you change your joyous effect on your environment will positively affect everyone and everything within it.
This works in both directions, choosing joy creates more pleasing (and less negative experiences) and choosing negativity begets more negative experiences.
If you want to Change the world, or just change your world…BE the change…. change your perspective, change your language…be in your relationships what you want to experience in relationship.
Change how you see, look for connection, understanding, and moments of perfection. Have that attention and intention drive how you see and you will experience more space for Joy.
Three steps: remove fight from your vocabulary, focus on your strengths, and be grateful practiced daily create space for Joy.
I am deeply grateful for your continued interest and fantastic work on the planet. in love and light, bg
This is second in a series of articles. II: Heal your Soul, Move Spirit from facilitator to Leader.
I. Change your Attitude, II: Heal your Soul, III: Balance your Life
II: Heal yout Soul, Move SPIRIT from facilitator to leader and your direct point of focus toward meditation, Breath, prayer, and a search for unity
Meditation, Prayer, Breath daily or twice daily to redirect and refocus your energy, attention, and intention.
Spirt focus, clarity, and connection as a primary focus connects spirit, mind, and body, so that you create what you desire rather than avoiding what you fear. It increases access to your balanced, core-self and increases your ability for critical thinking, flexibility, and quick responsiveness.
Belly breathing alone can reset your cells, mood, emotion, realign and center you.
Brain scans on long-term meditators show that regions associated with attention, self-awareness and sensory processing are thicker in meditators, and that this can offset age-related cortical thinning: this is strong “evidence for … cortical plasticity” (Lazar SW, Kerr CE, Wasserman RH, et al. Neuroreport. 2005;16(17):1893-1897).
Thinking about what happens with stress, meditation and breathwork diminishes and eradicates the negative effects of stress. When Mind is in control the power to reduce stress is limited; when your leader is Spirit the opportunity to engage in mindful meditation allows for powerful healing effects.
“The regular practice of meditation may have neuroprotective effects and reduce the cognitive decline associated with normal aging.” (Pagnoni G. Cekic M. Neurobiology of Aging. 2007;28(10):1623-7).
Evidence found as a result of mindful meditation:
–>>Increase in cortical thickness in areas assoc. w/ attention, interoception, & sensory processing such as prefrontal cortex and right anterior insula;
using this network to attune to internal senses via the social neural circuits involved in interpersonal attunement, including the middle prefrontal regions, insula, superior temporal complex, and the mirror neuron system->> all from mindful meditation practice.
AND, more positive Amygdala responses include: positive affect regulation by optimizing prefrontal cortex regulation of the amygdala including Left sided anterior activation,
this allows development of a tendency toward positive emotional responses & approach /reward oriented behavior,
(which aids in decreasing symptoms of depression and anxiety)(Applied Mindfulness Current Psychiatry Vol8.no12p40 2010).
Consider the power of the serenity prayer: release what you cannot control, shift what you can control, discern the difference.
Any of these 7 activities can increase your spiritual meditative connection:
Soothing/meditative music; singing
Meditative walking, running; hiking,
dancing; Tai Qi, Qi Gong
yoga practice;
Prayer; focused breathing, meditation
Gardening, meditative focus while performing repetitive motion chores,
Any activity that brings mind/thinking to neutral and offers a spiritual connection with whatever feels spiritual to you
Next read III: Balance your Life, Nourish your body and connect to your community.
See how you can institute these shifts today, and read the following article. i: Change your Attitude, II: Heal your soul, III:Balance your life. Enjoy, enlighten, and inspire your self, and your life in every aspect of it, Namaste., () in love and light, bg
Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013. www.bethgineris.com
How often do you hear about these essential qualities? Probably a lot. The idea of integrating these three together is very popular right now. But do you understand how much their integration defines who and how you are in the world?
When working with disease, ennui, unhappiness, and dissatisfaction I see how these three are disconnected. Most people go through life living without feeling deeply into one of these three spaces.
People who remain in unhappy relationships or unsatisfying working situations are not listening to their spirit or their mind. They disregard the feeling of ennui and simply press forward, after a while this leads to a deeper crevasse in their spirit, mind, body connection and can lead to a lack of healthy actions on how they care for their body, or to behaviors that are inconsistent with their mind (values) and heart (spirit). People who abuse their bodies with drugs, smoking, bad food, or lack of exercise are not feeling into their bodies or their spirit…they may be disregarding what their mind is saying. When you are spirit, mind, and body integrated you know that smoking is hurting you, you feel it in your spirit, in your body, and you can see and understand it in your mind.
Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING you need to know you have access to through your integrated Spirit, mind, and body connection. Your internal sensory guidance system communicates with you at lightening speed and with perfection about your actions and experiences, your ‘doing and being’, to assist you to remain integrated and to amplify that integration to create success.
The question is will you listen to your inner communications or will you ignore these. The life you want is completely within your grasp. Step into the grace of being and allow the perfection of your life to present itself to you. Reconnect spirit, mind, and body. Take action from that integrated inner connection and knowing. Then everything that matters and has value to you will be yours.in love and light, bg
“Be like a tree” when under stress. Allow your roots to dig deeply into the earth and ground you. Allow your branches, and trunk to sway with the pressure of the wind. Know that your center is strong and holds you stable as you flexibly respond to the assault and pressure of the storm. In this way you will find peace and resilience, inner knowing, strength, security, and flexibility so that you are not torn asunder and bereft.
“Be like water ” when in danger or working with tender beings. Gently yet with perseverance flow, guide, assist, and lightly wash away that which does not serve yourself or others. In this way you will find peace and resilience, inner guidance, clarity, strength, security, flexibility, and truth so that propaganda and ill-will cannot affect you.
In all things patience, action, attitude and intention matter. Feel the joy in every moment and your heart will sing, Namaste, in love and light, bg
Love, Acceptance, and Negotiation…turning Me 2 We… The idea is that fighting against yourself or others removes what is necessary to flow through challenging times. The energy of fighting shifts you away from what you need, away from your sensory guidance system; removing fight from your vocabulary helps you to access precisely what you need when you need it, so that you can shift out of any painful situation to find peace, your soul-utions, and balance.
If the challenging situation is an addiction to substances, experiences, or people in an unhealthy way – then these actions help you to remain in recovery. 4simple phrases to return you to balance and remain in recovery. Recovery is a journey rather than a destination.
Step one is to find your way to balance. Step two is returning to balance. The Path to Grace is a journey that cycles between these two steps. Listening to your sensory guidance system, led by your spirit connection. Removing fight from your vocabulary and focusing on love, acceptance, and negotiation helps you return to balance and flow through any difficult situation.
Try these mantras to get you to and keep you on this Path to Grace.
Stop, look, and listen. It is the perfect mantra to create the neutral, present moment, open-minded perspective required for moving through roadblocks. Stop the harmful behavior; look at your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions, to discern what may be underneath your resistance; listen to you heart, tone, whole language to comprehend an underlying covert message.
The attitude of gratitude. Identify the gifts of your history, your drama, and your shift into recovery. Reaffirm your choice for health. Focus on your strengths, reframe your limitations. The attitude of gratitude creates an inner structure of resilient positive self-esteem rooted in a solid foundation.
Focus on what you want rather than what you fear. This mindful mantra directs your attention to precisely where you have power. Things feared tend to be things unknown that are out of your control. An inner locus of control puts the resilience, power to create, and basic capacity to respond to whatever comes your way into your own hands, so that you believe, have faith and have evidence that you can create what you want.
Be the Change You Wish to See in the World. This is a phrase made famous by M. Gandhi. He was interested in major social change, but this phrase is just as useful in small social worlds. Act mindfully, show respect, be loving, and compassionate as a style of being in the world. Live your change in every cell of your being, allowing breath, faith, forgiveness, and lovingkindness to direct your actions and personal relationships, beginning with your relationship with yourself.
Keeping these simple mantras close to your heart and mind will increase your capacity for mindfulness; it will increase your experience of compassion, harmony, and balance in living, and keep you on the recovery Path to Grace.
You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).
If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
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