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gratitude as a form of cleansing

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gratitude can be used as a form of cleansing

When you want to feel a shift in your relationship I suggest you shift your perspective.  Rather then focusing on what isn’t working, focus on what is truly positive about the relationship.

When you are upset with your partner and you feel hurt or angry, your mind starts to produce examples of what a horrible person your partner has been.  Pretty soon you are feeling like you are in a truly terrible relationship.

To create the space to have a better more mutually satisfying relationship you can try these few steps.

  • You do not have to ignore the negative thing that happened but you can shift your attention to the whole.
  • place your concern or displeasure aside and focus on the whole of the relationship
  • look at what is working,observe the ways your partner is there for you
  • Pay attention to what creates the negativity and see if you can shift your energy, positively.
  • Often the result is that you can feel happier, more secure, and then go to your partner and kindly, compassionately discuss the event and really find some solutions.

Energy flows through attention and intention.

Mindfulness can assist you in shifting the flow of energy from negative to positive.

It’s like a feedback loop of energy, if you feel bad and you focus on negativity, you actually feel worse rather than better.

One of the fastest ways to see what is working in your life and really uplevel your personal consciousness is to identify things for which you feel grateful.

This attitude of gratitude shifts your inner sense of security, from insecurity to secure.  It allows you to make choices from a centered, holistic place.  It aligns your sense of empowerment, courage, strength, and spiritual openness.

It actually creates the space for you to shift negative situations into positive ones because you will feel more empowered and you can actually see the problem within the context of the greater whole.

You operate more easily, honestly and more in your best interests from a secure, happy, compassionate place.

Any time you are faced with a difficult situation,

  • take an inner review of how you feel in the now, without going into the drama or trauma you are experiencing…
  • Consider how you feel toward yourself, your life, your relationships..From 1-10, 1 being joyful and secure and 10 being fearful, depressed, or in despair.
  • Okay, now write down where you are on that scale and put an emotionally descriptive word by it.


  • Now, write down 5 things for which you are grateful.
  • These can be five things about that person with whom you may be experiencing a sense of displeasure,
  • OR just five things,
  • include people or personal qualities that buoy your sense of peace and strength.

Once you have written down your 5 things do a review of how you feel.

Did it change?  For most people it does change in a positive way.  If you feel better but not completely in your center write down five more.  Do this until you feel yourself shift into center.  this feeling will feel balanced.  Solid internally and yet flexible without. Usually it will take twenty points of gratitude to get you to your centered space, compassionate and whole.

It isn’t that the things that may not be working in your life start working, it’s that you have refocused your energy on the positive so that you can feel strengthened to change the things you can and accept the things you cannot change.  It is a mindfulness reset.

This is a great exercise to employ any time you start to feel down and just can’t get out of the rut of negativity.

You can practice this daily, even when you aren’t feeling down but just as a prevention tool to keep you centered.

Practice this daily.  Simply identifying what you are grateful for in your life, in your relationships, in your work, and the environment around you.  You are developing your mindfulness muscle; you are developing your capacity to see from an integrated and centered perspective. This practice increases your capacity for empathy and forgiveness.

Also, as a habit don’t focus on what isn’t working first.  Identify everything that is working in each of your relationships and then you can place the problem within the context of gratitude.  It will help you to be solution focused.  You will have greater compassion for those with whom you feel conflict and be able to own your own part of any negative situation.

And for those of you who may feel that this practice might make you accept situations that are not good for you, let me assuage your concerns.  This practice allows you to actually get out of truly negative situations as well as increase the positivity of those situations that are mutually empowering and good for you.  It is a practice in clarity and wholeness.

Note:  If you sit down to attempt this practice and you just can’t feel positive about yourself, or your partner, or your situation.. try reseting through toning (sound), and smells.  Energy has a lightly substantial quality to it – so if you just had a fight or just had the same fight for the hundredth time you may need to clear the air.

You can do this with sound, ring a bell, or chime a toning bowl to clear your physical environment.  Or simply tone with your voice the vowel sounds, eh, ee, ah, O, oo, several times over with increasing breath.  This will center you. sound healing shifts the vibration, elevates consciousness May 6, 2014

For a shift through smell you may use essential oil sprays of any citrus for anger and depression.  Or rose geranium for apathy or despair. Or clove, lavender, or pine to create a sense of serenity and forgiveness.

Salt has the capacity to suck up negative energy, so you may throw a little salt on the ground to help get the space to neutral.  And if you feel that the negative energy is still on you, try washing your hands with a little grapefruit wash or a dab of baking soda.

Once you feel that sense of calm,  resume the practice of focusing on what is working in your relationship first, before you put your attention to solving the problem.

Cleansing is the most important habit for health.  It helps to keep your homes, environment, bodies, thoughts, and spirit free of toxins.  It helps to unclog stagnation and release the garbage that holds you back from living happy, mutually satisfying constantly elevating lives. You can think of the attitude of gratitude as a way to recycle your habitual thinking into new thinking that derives from that centered space within you to give life to your relationships, your evolving self and your environment. in love and light, bg

You can find out more at Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ON

If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg

Author: instinctivehealthparenting4u

Author, Integrative medicine practitioner, psychotherapist. Albuquerque, NM practice, focus on return to balance and the integration of spirit, mind, and body through meditation and mindfulness. Monthly trainings, & professional and personal development coaching. Find more on my website Read my books, Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (, for increased internal wellness and alignment with your spiritual purpose, and to activate joyous love and light, bg

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