InstinctiveHealthParenting4U

Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.


Leave a comment

4×4 habits 2 health, week 5, focus on hydration and nutrition

5-8 weeks, hydrate with clean filtered water, nourish with whole foods, rest, and exercise to detoxify your lymph, digestive, and liver systems AND strengthen your heart, immunity and skin.  Glowing from the inside and on the outside. Yes!

So for week 5,  focus on hydration and nourishment.

Hydration:

  • Start with drinking three to four liters of clean, filtered water each day.  (Best to use reverse osmosis filtered system in your home or from one of your natural grocery stores.)
  • That’s between 48 and 64 ounces OR six to eight 8-ounce glasses of water.
  • So the important note here is that hydration requires water, not tea, not coffee, not diet coke, not juice – water.
  • If you are an athlete or you sweat a lot you are best served to be on the 64 ounce end of the continuum and may need to add another liter(quart).
  •  Water is used by every cell in your body.  It enhances movement in your joints, helps to plump skin, assists your lymph system in detoxification and your digestive system in detoxification .  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2908954/ read this important article for more specific information.
  • It is a major component of a healthy brain.  Low levels of dehydration can cause discontinuity in mood regulation and thinking skills.  moderate amounts of dehydration can cause delirium.
  • (Too much water is not good on this end so you can get too much of a good thing – ask any marathon runner who over hydrated – you get some of those symptoms that look like dehydration nausea, pain and dizziness but you will notice that your hands are swollen and your thinking is off.)

Simply making this ONE change in your life can positively affect your experience of pain, or simply take it away.  It can positively shift your ability to be active, to learn and remember, to move free of pain, to look rested and rest more easily, and detoxify your physical elimination systems.  WOW! Do this and you free yourself to make some of the other suggested changes to thinking, attitude and community. ( future weeks blogs)

Nourishment:

  • Nourish with Whole Foods.
  • So this means avoid modified, or deconstructed foods that you may find in boxed food or already prepared fast food.  There is not enough nutrition there, and in some cases the product is not something that can be assimilated by your cellular structure.
  • You want to eat foods that are grown in organic, local communities if you can.
  • Eat meat that is grass fed, free range, consider that you want the animal to have had a life before its death.  The Qi you get from your nourishment is only as nourishing as the components of the animal.  If the animal lived in squalor, fear, and despair then that’s the Qi you are putting into your body.  Be grateful to the animal for the sacrifice it made so that you could eat.  If this seems too out there for you – consider that just as you are spirit mind body, integrated,  and community as a social being, Understand through mindful, critical analysis that an animal in stress from a lack of connection to community and its natural state so that it can feed you will have huge amounts of cortisol and other endocrine elements of stress in its flesh and that is the foundation on which you will be building your health…that lack of foundation results in disease.  It results in diminished immunity,  out of control auto-immune issues, mental-emotional imbalance, and hormonal endocrine issues, a lack of nourishment which can lead to overeating and feeling un-nourished.
  • Use spices to create synergism in your digestive, immune, and endocrine systems.
  • To keep your bowels moving, at least once or twice a day, (You will positively affect this with water, as above.)  add a daily supplement of magnesium citrate.
  • Use  fennel, ginger, and cinnamon to help you absorb the food nutrients you need and get rid of the stuff you don’t.
  • Flax seeds are helpful as well as sweet potatoes, butternut squash, yams, and parsnips.
  • Cinnamon in the morning in a bowl of oatmeal or in your morning drink will balance your blood sugar.  It treats hypoglycemia naturally.
  • My favorite tip from my Chinese Medical training is EAT the RAINBOW.
  • When you look on your plate see the colors of the rainbow – purples, reds, greens, yellows and oranges…
  • if you look down and see a lot of brown and white — you are not eating in a way that is most nourishing for the systems that make your body work.  Change to a more naturally colorful diet and your body will work more efficiently.
  • Eat eight to ten servings of colorful fruits and vegetables and specifically include, every day, the family of the cruciferous vegetables, broccoli, collards, kale, cabbage, brussels sprouts, kohlrabi, as well as the garlic family, leeks, garlic, chives, and onions, which help increase sulfur in the body and help detoxification.
  • Avoid stimulants, sedatives, and drugs.
  • Eliminate nicotine, diet soda, cola, and sugary, high caffeine drinks.
  • Drink coffee and tea, and eat chocolate (high cacao only) in moderation.
  • Keep alcohol intake at a minimum and definitely not daily.

It may take some time to incorporate these ideas into your daily routine.  Here is a great blog about important information about best foods to help your brain. https://integrativemedicinestrategiesnow.wordpress.com/2012/11/19/brain-food-really/ .

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg

 


Leave a comment

4×4 Habits 2 Health, Create a map

Take the time today and over the next seven days to envision a picture of health.  This is the foundation of what you desire to create.  Include in this picture a multidimensional perspective of your self.

What a re you looking for?

  • Better, more healing relationships?
  • A healthier relationship to food, your body, your spiritual connection?
  • A way to navigate your multitasking life, or overwhelming commitments?
  • A way to manage anxiety and stress?
  • An increase in vitality both mentally and physically?

photoTake an hour ( or two) to create the picture with words or a collage. You may use your personal creative skills of drawing or painting or picture cut out of magazines to design your visual prompt.

collage inspirationYou can use the collage of words and pictures as a source or map from which you can draw support and reaffirm your goals.

Once you have completed this visual aid, set up a morning and evening ten minute time to reset you commitment to your goals.  Sit in a quiet place and view the picture, then close your eyes and breathe…  Breathing in and breathing out for three to five minutes. While you are doing this you may identify more information about what you may what to accomplish.  Write this down and then return to your breathing.

Over the course of the next seven days you may add this information to your visual aid.

Do this for ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes in the evening.

Over the course of the next seven days, increase your awareness of what you feel is or is not working in your life – or what you desire to shift.  You may add this to your map/visual aid.

In addition, you may want to practice 9 sun salutations per morning to assist you in centering and returning to breath.  Here is an article with visuals to assist you in creating this practice.  http://www.yogitimes.com/article/re-balance-healing-healer-life

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


Leave a comment

Your way home is through…your inner light will guide you

“the conflict between the anti-american attitude of the far left of  the sixties and the beliefs of the first generation immigrants who choose America and the belief in the opportunity to chart my own course….”  Dinesh D’souza

The issues are complex.  The dialogue is so seductive.  It belies the complexity of the issues.

the power of propaganda

This is a photo lauded on facebook recently – I know they want to make a difference and change what they perceive as negative in government and the powers that be…

However, passing this photo off as truth is actually how propaganda works.

It pulls the reader who accepts it whole, into acting toward other people, a group of people who don’t precisely agree with them, in the exact ways they condemn…

This is a crisis in our global community right now…this linear, third dimensional thinking wrapped up in the rhetoric of consciousness, social activism, and the rhetoric of the sixties.  The seductive quality of the rhetoric uses all the tricks that belie logic, straw man arguments, non-sequiturs…

The comments written within the photo don’t hold up to critical thinking.  In order to address the problems facing the global community integrated mindful investigation of the problems facing us is necessary.  We need to uplevel our consciousness, include opposing views, paradigm shift, and integrate to solve these problems.

Arguing for the opposite of what is keeps us on the same linear third dimensional curve.

This is the problem with positive rights.  This is the reason for a constitution of negative rights.  Negative rights protect they press the reader to use critical thinking, to stand in the center of his/her integrated self and create from an internal locus of control the world that supports all beings.  Positive rights simply change the name and status of victim or persecutor.

  • How could you not believe in equal rights for gays, to love whom they love freely and without harassment?  It is good to allow freedom.  It is not good to force it by persecuting another group or person.
  • How could you not believe in a woman’s right to make decisions about her own body?  Yes women should be free to choose how to maintain their bodies and care for their physical vehicles…they should not be forced to have sexual relationships or to not have them.  The issue of pregnancy is complicated because the women and child share the same physical vehicle for that brief 10 month period. Pretending that the being growing inside a woman is something other than another human being belies the reality and diminishes intelligence.  Anyone who has been pregnant knows the child is real at the start, a growing human being.
  • The same people who fight for abortion also fight for protecting animal infants…so how is this?  Because of the trick of linguistics…the human growing inside the woman is renamed fetus — as if this being has no connection to the baby that might later be born.  The answer is to support protect and care for the women, human babies AND animals, and animal babies AND the environment…it isn’t an either/or. The seductive propaganda has more caring for animal and plant life than human…Intelligence dictates that all life be valued.  Just as animals should not be raised for consumption as if they have no sentience, humans babies growing inside a woman’s body should not be treated as if they have no sentience.
  • How could you not agree with the issues of protecting the earth, recycling, allowing people to set up a household in our country that are seeking asylum?  Yep, yep, yep, all important things, and all should be dealt with at the same level of honor.

So valuable…where have the words of Kennedy, and Martin Luther King gone…what has happened to them, twisting them around to support violence and harm against others to take from the government rather than to serve one’s country…twisted it into fighting for imprisonment but using their words —

aldous huxley quote

 

 

 

The thing that we have is our capacity to connect through mindfulness.   It is telling that the group who once used to ‘question authority’ have become the group controlling what and how someone thinks.  This shows the lack of balance and the degree of incongruence.

From my perspective, this shift in focus in the liberal agenda and propaganda, proves Freud’s theory, that if you don’t work through your issues you will become the person(s) you hate, and you won’t be able to see it in yourself…We have to elevate consciousness not stifle it.

From a consciousness perspective we are developing as two worlds.  One world is arguing points from a 3rd dimensional plane — pushing for rights, but forgetting about responsibilities..these individuals for the most part have their hearts soundly in the right place — they want to change what isn’t working or what seems to be avarice, consumerism, and divisiveness…yet they are not using their critical thinking to think outside the crowd mentality, outside the mob mentality of right/might over wrong.  This has some of the language of the evolving interconnected elevated consciousness but none of the energy.  The mobs killing to make others listen, no matter how important you think your message is – you destroy your credibility through your behavior.

The other consciousness that is evolving is that of one global world, completely interconnected– all human cultures with animals, plants, and the earth…this consciousness is not on the path of 3rd dimension good/bad, right/wrong, but rather on the path of discernment, wholeness, and collaboration.  It is in the tessellation space where we are in agreement and built on that. It is compassionate, loving, and embracing collaboration.

It is on another plane from the right /wrong, 3rd dimensional space.

The challenge to everyone of us is to respond to our environment with compassion.  Thinking you are right, and acting from this righteous place creates defensiveness in the other person.   Finding your inner knowing and making honest efforts to connect that inner knowing with another’s inner knowing that creates love, care, connection, and peace.

The elevation of consciousness begins within you, within me, within our children.  And we cannot create the space for that when we treat others without compassion; when we treat others as if we are superior in our ideology. Compassion open the door for understanding and negotiation and finally a place where agreement is.

….the way home is through..first within yourself — addressing the complicated incongruent beliefs and behaviors you have and finding a level of congruence in your thinking and actions.  Then next within your family systems.  Then within your friendships and work.  And finally in how you choose your government and what policies you encourage.  

It is a shift away from the power of alpha and popularity mentality toward REAL integrity, and value – from this space you can act in a way that is congruent with this elevation of consciousness.  

It’s tricky to stand in the center of your beliefs with your actions and be ready to be disapproved of, dropped off your social network groups because you are not in agreement with the group… and STILL remain loving, compassionate and strive for connection…that IS the elevation of consciousness, to move the group acceptance and drive for power into the workhorse role rather than the leadership role and have your Heart, true internal sensory guidance, and spiritual knowing be your leading guide.  

In this season of light let it be so…allow your light to shine and be a being of love and light.  The continuation of the planet depends on your capacity to heal yourself, heal your relationships, and live consciously from this space. Shalom, Namaste, Blessings, in love and light, bg

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


Leave a comment

money grows on trees…

I wanted to share a positive message about how the universe can and does respond to intention and attention.

My daughter wanted to go to the St James Tearoom.
It’s a fancy luncheon place that serves old-fashioned tea sandwiches dressed in cream cheese, cucumbers and flowers, with biscuits and clotted cream.
It is one of her favorite things to do.
She wanted to go with her dad and he rescheduled his afternoon patients just to take her.

He knows how fast children grow up. he remembers the day his son preferred the company of his friends to him, and he just wasn’t ready for that yet with this one…not yet.

Granted we have been lucky, our son stayed close by through college to really eek out the last bits of play with my husband and me. But it is still hard to let go. To see them grow. To watch them do precisely what we are teaching them to do — become their best self and have full and happy adventures in far away places…

It was a beautiful afternoon, a slight breeze in the air. As they were getting out of the car my daughter noticed something in the drain by the curb…she ran over to it and with her most precious smile presented to her dad a hundred dollar bill.

She was delighted. He was dumbfounded.

She had been saving for something special. And now she had found a hundred dollar bill. She felt very lucky. She was. She had a lovely tea and enjoyed all the festivities. When their time was up she took home her uneaten desserts and her special find.

The power of this story is exemplified in her simple belief that the world will provide that which she needs, without question.

Esther Hicks/Abraham encourage each of us to simply ‘ask and it is given'(Hicks, 2004). The Law of Attraction as she calls the energetic law of the universe referencing that what you attend to, what you put your energy into is what you will receive.  When you find yourself stuck it is a result of you simultaneously putting energy into releasing  something that no longer has value while also holding to it.  You allow fear to have a voice as loud as faith.  When this happens the energy of both are sent your way and your resulting experience is a lack of movement, or no change.

I see this often when I work with couples.  Each party is holding to resentments, or habits, or fears while also saying he or she desires to release it and move forward.  They find themselves in the same argument.  They reflect and trigger each other’s fear and reactivity.  This is a waste of energy.  Not simply a waste of energy in the argument but also a waste of the use of your attention and intention the pathway to focus energy toward the creation of your desire.

Each of you reading this can have the same experience of money simply showing up in your life (growing on trees, ready for you to pluck like fruit and receive).

Here are the simple steps to make it so:

  • Take a breath, exhale and clear your mind.
  • Visualize what you desire.
  • Hold the visualization clear in your heart and mind for 30 seconds free of negativity or attachment to the process (reasons it cannot happen or ways it should happen or how you will feel hurt if it doesn’t happen).
  • Take a deep breath and as you exhale release your desire as you would a butterfly.
  • Write down what you saw and desire onto a piece of paper and put it in a box you keep near your bed while you sleep.
  • You may do this as often as you like.
  • When you gaze upon the box say a prayer that all that is good will come to you.

To strengthen the power of this process

  • Live your life with an open heart and a mindful attitude.  Keep negative beliefs out of your daily thought patterns.
  • Consciously release thoughts and habit patterns that do not serve you.
  • Forgive.
  • Be compassionate toward yourself and others.
  • Be mindful: When you are struggling, look at the problem within the context of that which is good in our life.

In these difficult times I find myself and others forgetting the power in prayer.  The power of faith and knowing.  The power of clear intention and attention.  I like to remind myself and those I love that the universe is working for me, I just have to get out of the way and let the good I have created flow to me.  I wish the absolute best to you.  in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ON

If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg


4 Comments

Shed your old skin, Create a New YOU

As you develop through your life you emphasize and de-emphasize different aspects of who you ARE – your multi-layer-self.

Your multi-layer-self is comprised of your spiritual, emotional/cognitive, physical self.

This is especially true as you move through the decades of your life and it follows a specific course. You get the opportunity to actually grow a new skin, and develop into a fuller more balanced personality or self every ten years or so…

Each decade offers you a new perspective and it gives you a chance to incorporate what you have learned in the past in a whole new way…I think of this as discarding your outgrown old skin and growing a new skin.

In the earliest aspect of your life 0-10 years you are developing the foundation of how you see yourself:  what matters to you and how you want to be connected to those around you.

This is the beginning of your lifelong relationship with how you get what you want and how you make a place for yourself with others… this requires balance.

At first your neediness may be the focus and boundaries are set from an outside source. As you move through this decade you develop internalized boundaries that assist you in managing your needs and the expectations or wants of your group.

If you had injuries, abandonment, deficiencies in how your early environment responded to your needs then you will develop an over-developed dependence on yourself (so rigid boundaries) <the I-style of relationship in MAAPS*> or an over-dependence on others (so enmeshed boundaries) <the me-style of relationship in MAAPS*> .

When this occurs your development in the decades that follow will have a skew toward rigidity, difficulty connecting at a deep level or enmeshment (what some call co-dependence) which also results in a difficulty to connect at a deep level in relationship.

These difficulties look different in relationship but skew out from the same place…inner insecurity and imbalance.

If you had a balanced set of love and discipline in the first ten years of life you will have a basic flexibility in how you manage getting what you want and pleasing those whom you call family and friends.

This grows in depth and breadth throughout the next decades and you will find yourself having the internal strength to focus your life toward goals while simultaneously creating loving relationships.

The decade of 10 – 20 years offers a new level of managing your internal focus and boundaries.  This is biologically a time when relationship outside your family of origin begins to have greater importance. You determine what aspects of your familial groups and group constructs are in alignment with your goals and perspectives of the world and yourself.

This is where you benefit from an early life that included a sense of freedom and boundaries in balance.  When you have this in balance you are flexible in how you negotiate care of yourself and care of others. Additionally, you have a more grounded sense of your assets and limitations which supports you creating goals that are within your reach and goals that promote a sense of positivity and empowerment within you and your community.

If you have somehow skewed off into a me-style or I-style of relationship, then you have to develop inner security, empathy and boundaries.  This is the work of the decades 20-30 and for those of you who are from the 90s and 2000 generation this may incorporate the decade of 30-40.

Here a sense of spirit is good to discuss.

A loss of faith has hit a lot of the millennium generation…loss of faith in elders, in the world at large, even in the purpose of living on the planet.  This has resulted in a sense of being out of balance with the world around them.

In order to reconnect with yourself, in relationship or/and with your community you must reconnect with your sense of spirit.

Try to avoid the trap of hearing religion or god-practice for right now…

Think about the concept of Lovingkindness, embrace the true reality that we are all connected — all human communities, all life beings on the planet…even the planet itself to each of us…and the planets in our universe to our planet and us…

You can find this in reconnecting to your internal sensory guidance system..your 5 + 1 senses …your senses of seeing, tasting, feeling, smelling, hearing and intuition..these are your perfect guides to what path to take.  These are your proof in this interconnectedness and your sense of spirit.

Once you allow your sensory guidance system to chart your course then your relationships become mutually empowering and your faith returns.  By listening and responding to your 5 + 1 senses you create goals that fill you with strength, resilience and joy.  You will naturally use empathy, inner security, and boundaries to map your life.

Here you will be emphasizing both your internal needs and goals and your external group requirements with a sense of unification and faith. in love and light, bg

 

Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..  

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


1 Comment

How insecurity interferes with getting what you want.

to realizeOne of the coolest aspects of the MAAPS guiding principles of relationship is how easily you can discern what is driving how you behave in relationship.

This is beneficial when HOW you are behaving is interfering with you getting what you want.

MAAPS is an easy way to remember the five guiding security principles of relationship: Money, Achievement, Attachment (Connection), Power, and Structure.

One or more of these are engaged when YOU are driven or compelled to act inauthentically in relationship to create a sense of safety in one of these areas.  And when you are acting under the influence of one or more of these drivers you create immature, and unfulfilling relationships.

In order to shift away from this you have to face your insecurity: You have to tolerate feeling insecure while asking for what you truly need or want in the relationship.

For example: if you fear, or have an insecurity around attachment or feeling connected, you might create yourself as less important than the other person; putting his needs ahead of yours and attempting to get your needs met on the side.

This is a reasonable solution in the short-term, however after a while this will feel as if the other person is taking advantage of you or that your needs are not as important; this can lead to resentment within you and create a crevasse in the foundation of the relationship that may ultimately tear the relationship apart.

An alternative action is to speak about what you are feeling as soon as you identify it is happening.  You may want to do some undercover work with your self to discern what may be underlying the insecurity.  You can look into what decisions you may have made about how you HAD to act to be loved or cared for or to feel SAFE in your early childhood or early relationships.sigmund freud

More often these drivers act under the surface.  You actually are not aware of the influence the insecurity has over your actions.

So here are some clues that you are under the influence of insecurity:

  • you have difficulty co-mingling funds
  • you have difficulty sharing title for achievements
  • you have difficulty being alone or you feel abandoned when you cannot immediately contact your partner
  • you have difficulty receiving assistance from others or you have difficulty when others don’t do what you tell them to do
  • you have difficulty when there is disorganization

Insecurity can be hidden. I know many individuals who on the surface appear strong and confident, yet the insecurity is lurking just beneath the surface.  When left undetected and unresolved, this insecurity can interfere with you getting what you truly want in your personal and career life.

If you notice that you have trouble maintaining healthful and meaningful relationships, investigate whether you have ann insecurity in one of the five guiding security principles in relationship.  Use your compassion, lovingkindness, forgiveness, and mindfulness tools to assist you in releasing the insecurity belief so that you can build inner security and engage in more mutually beneficial relationships.

You can learn more about this in earlier blogs on this site or through the following books.

Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..  

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


1 Comment

the space between mindful-breathing and will…staying within the threshold of calm strength

Most of you recognize that the integration of spirit, mind, and body is a multi-level, multi-phase experience. It is dynamic, changing responsively to your inner and outer environment.

Recent events have further elucidated for me the subtleties of this dynamic process.

Participating in a fifty mile race after three weeks on the bike. To my surprise while participating in the long ride, I began to feel unable to continue…my friends encouraged me to use my yogic breath and my experience of inner peace to press on… Ultimately I noticed it was my will that gave me the strength to continue. 

Re-training myself for a distance swim for my first triathlon sprint. During the swim training, I discovered an underlying degree of anxiety that was exacerbated by loss of breath — it projected me right back to an earlier event of almost being choked when I was raped as a teenager.  It was shocking and almost uncontrollable to keep swimming – my body was fighting for life while I could clarify that it was not actually happening, my heartrate ramped up my breath became flat and labored…I couldn’t swim properly…Ultimately in the swim training it was my inner breath and my yogic training that assisted me in calming my fear and re-integrating myself into the now, to release the energy of the rape experience connected to ‘air-hunger’.

Having  endured significant sexual harassment throughout my life, I have made significant efforts, with success, to clear the vestiges of effect from this trauma, and to eradicate the insecurities that could have colored how I interacted in relationship and partnership. This information is further explained in the section on  MAAPS insecurity drivers in my book* Turning Me to We: the Art of Partnering with mindfulness.

These recent events focused how the trauma vestiges can effect your relationship with yourself.

As could be expected, the rape was the most problematic to clear.  It was held within my psychic, emotional, and cognitive memory as well as my physical body.  To this day I have a holding in my upper body that is still reminiscent of the position in which I was pinned down. This is not unusual for individuals who have survived a rape to have these various types of physical changes. I have had success in clearing this to a fairly deep level physically, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically.

I have had the great fortune of applying mindfulness, psychotherapy, and forgiveness toward my history of harassment and the rape…as such I have created warm loving non-abusive relationships with my partner and friends.  It is for this reason that I spend so much time training, teaching, and modeling mindfulness and forgiveness as part of a healthy lifestyle individually and in relationships/partnerships.

With this being stated, I was quite surprised by the deep level of fear and anxiety that exhibited in myself during the ride and swim training.   It speaks to the depth of effect in the spirit, body, mind web that is within human consciousness; and how deeply trauma plumbs to the center of one’s being.

Humans are dynamic, multi-dimensional beings.  

The process of clearing trauma can take years and releases in layers.

Trauma for one being may not be traumatic for another.  

Spiritual trauma is the most debilitating, as spirit connects humans to the greater universe of energy.  When spiritual trauma is directly bound with physical trauma, thinking can skew off into a place that could be described as ‘hell on earth’.

Over the years I have noted that individuals who have intense anxiety suffer far more than those around them…because they do not have the peace that comes with centeredness…the peace you experience with centered mindful meditation and breath.

The lesson of this recent athletic training is that each challenge requires an integrated spirt, body, mind response.  And, that balance is affected by the vestiges of previous traumas or incorrect correlations of power.

Human beings are spiritually and willlfully driven.

  • It is your ego*/ will that can pull you through a difficult challenging task– that is where hard work and discipline are kings and queens.
  • And, it is your spiritual inner faith and knowing that is required in other challenges….
  • (ego as defined as the balanced mediator of your personality, mediator between id and superego – see Gineris, Turning Me to WE, The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, p 186, Rebalancing: Empathy, Ego and Spirit).

The space between mindful breathing and will is the ground where all battles are fought.  This is in a phrase then entirety of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War* * to know yourself, know your enemy, to know when to act and when to be quietly strong as you prepare to act….

  • Staying within the threshold of calm is an act of faith and will. Success requires both dynamically and rhythmically in play.
  • The practice of yoga can teach you this through your use of breath to move through challenges.
  • The practice of mindful meditation can teach you this as you breath yourself into neutrality, compassion and the now.
  • The practice of athletic training can teach you this if you understand the relationship between will and allowing, remaining centered in your integrated spirit, mind and body.

If you struggle with anxiety, use these practices to bring you into a more dynamic and flexible relationship with your will (discipline/Qi) and your faith (spirit/breath/Shen), you will find more peaceful and powerful successes in all you undertake to accomplish. Namaste, in love and light, bg

*http://thejanetloveshow.com/drbethgineris/

**http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_War

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Even More outlined in Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014.  You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through her website.  This book is the HOW TO companion book to Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013).front cover.me2we Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure). You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.  One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg