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Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.


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Resilience is the key to strength

Mental toughness is more of an inner flexibility than an external rigidity. It is adaptability with push through.

I just finished my first half Ironman. It was an extraordinary experience.  Running across the finish line took grace and grit.  I think my experience there is a metaphor for life.  Each event has its own challenges and rewards.  Life is no different: Work, play, relationship, friendship, education/training, personal growth, parenting…these are all events in the landscape of life. The common factors of success in these utilize the tools of mental toughness.

When I’m working with a coaching client I focus on resilience, the ability to bounce back to push through undeclared, unexpected circumstances; ones capacity for adaptability creates the highest level of happiness and success in life.  Adaptability can cause troubles when there’s a lack of inner stability or core strength then the flexibility results in being pushed over.

This link applies mental fitness to triathlon:

https://www.teamusa.org/USA-Triathlon/News/Blogs/Multisport-Lab/2016/June/07/Mental-Toughness

Here are the ten tips:  the italicized information offers key ideas for developing resilience, adaptability, and mental toughness in life…mindfulness.

1. Approach new situations with a flexible mind and recognition of your own preconceptions. You know you don’t know everything, so you can’t really be surprised.  Paradigms are key here.  It’s not only what you think you know, it’s also what you have locked perceptions about. Allowing yourself to have a foundation that is flexible open and responsive to change makes all the difference.

2. Roll with the unexpected. If you’re giving a presentation and the lights go out, you move the party to the local restaurant and continue onward. Stuff happens; everyone knows it. But how you react to it is what counts. If you’re racing a triathlon and get a flat tire, you don’t throw a fit and break your bike in half. You change it — even if it takes you 30 minutes. Don’t give up. Perseverance, ease of transition, responsiveness… I call this respons- a- bility.  The ability to calmly and quickly assess, decide and act (respond) is the key.

3. Remain centered and focused. Other competitive types may try to throw you off with gamesmanship. It’s part of the competitive world, and you may do it too, consciously or not. Don’t let a competitor bait you into unwise moves ruled by emotion. As far as mental toughness within competition goes, you need to know your strengths and play to them, not to someone else’s tune. Stay on task with your goal whenever anything or anyone tries to interfere. Run your own race.  This applies to competition, and applies to life at every level.  Your skills are best exhibited in your own pacing, timing, and paradigm.

4. Defeat isn’t the end for you. You have lost before. You’ll lose again. Your ability to absorb these and move onwards with your race, career and life is what counts. Michael Jordan has a quote about missing 9,000 free throws or something like that. You get the point. Efficient learning happens after mistakes are made and corrected. Find your way through the labyrinth to the center.  Leave that there and move to the next event with a fresh face and clear mind.  This will keep you centered, mindful, and give you the best chance at success.

5. Believe in yourself. Recognize your talents with a realistic assessment of your skills. Really knowing that you’re good at something is empowering and will generally help you become even better as you believe in your ability and that skill. No one is good at everything, but we’re all great at something. Recognize this. Confidence creates strength and courage; draws success to you. Insecurity creates loss and deflation; pushes success away.  The key is to know yourself; having a healthy recognition of your assets and limitations.

6. Deal with the discomfort. Almost everyone is in pain the last few miles of a marathon or gets tired at some point in an IRONMAN. The front of the pack often separates not on their physical ability but their mental ability to deal with temporary physical states (like pain or fatigue). With a strong mind you can overcome. Mental toughness is knowing when the pain is something that requires immediate attention and when it is not.  This is what allows for push through and breakthrough in strength training and physical fitness.  Your mind can interfere with your physical fitness by stoping too early or going to long and creating injury. This is paramount in relationship and emotional development.

7. Channel your inner Wolverine. He’s angry, he’s got claws and he heals very, very quickly. Sometimes you have just got to break out a little Wolvie. I like to encourage your inner goddess or your inner warrior.  Focus, focus, focus.  Know your skills and use them to meet your goals.

8. Crap rolls downhill. It also rolls over you. Anyone in the business world knows that one. As an athlete, you will also experience your share of crap. Crappy workouts. Crappy days. Crappy equipment. Crappy training partners. Crappy races. My goodness, the world is full of crap. But you’re Teflon, baby. Let it roll on down. Move on to that hill over yonder.  Shake it off, shake it off.. reset.

9. When things go wrong, keep moving on. “Don’t give up” is a powerful and simple statement. What other options do you have? Is there another way? Is there any way? What do you have to do to make things go your way? Find it. Do it. This is the mental toughness that carries people through situations where weaker minds crumble. Commitment, perseverance…accept the situation respond to it with grace and grit, and a little bit of anger and a little bit of joy..that mixture gives you the strength and the mindfulness to persevere.

10. Things aren’t always your fault. Mentally tough people also tend to be drivers and doers with a predisposition to strong internal locus of control. That’s a funny way of saying that it’s easy to start to think you can make things happen by just doing your best. Some things are just out of your control, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Sometimes there is a competitor out there with a better idea, a higher V02 max or slightly better taper coming into his A-race. See the two rules above and move on. Channel your inner goddess, your inner warrior, your inner magician…recognize with focus you can bend time, break barriers go where no one has gone before…I can do it. The best mantra to get you to the finish line.

Mindfulness is a type of mental fitness. Thinks that will completely stop you are misbeliefs. This bog can help :

https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2016/05/17/healing-core-misbeliefs/

Keep developing your mindfulness and you will finish and possible win whatever race you enter in life. in love and light, bg

Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2016 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Discover your path, set an intention for what you want to create in your life: It’s difficult to get where you’re going without a map. 


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the power of soul work

I have had the great fortune of meeting my life’s love a second time in this lifestream. Strangely it is more painful than I expected. It has created a sense of chaos and opportunity that causes all other challenges to pale in comparison.
My beloved friend died in a car accident years ago. And I have had the great good fortune of meeting him again in a new vehicle: a new face, a new body, a new personality, a new self…yet in those eyes I see my beloved, in those hands I feel my beloved, in the lightest of movements, and behavior I hear and see his soul’s energetic fabric.
For me this is the proof of soul connections…of the idea of multidimensional space…of spirit incarnate.

To have this experience is extraordinary.

To speak of it is challenging.

There are few who truly believe and accept this phenomenon. It is described in ancient, sacred texts, talked about by psychic mediums, and written about by current day screenwriters. But it isn’t accepted by critical thinkers.  Edgar Cayce and Brian Weiss have described this phenomenon, and they have offered examples and writings to bring the information forward.

For years, I have been able to read for others, offering insight into behaviors, intuitive psychic information about the future and the past and how it applies to the now; I have seen other’s past lifes and offered these to help in their spiritual and psycho-emotional growth …but this personal experience is so much more profound.  Doors open in my consciousness as a result of this experience. The biggest challenge is how to remain at the soul level and how to remain tender, true, and kind to not only the soul connection but also the 3rd dimensional self.  It requires grace to incorporate it into my real three dimensional life.

The laws of the soul that transcends dimensions, that travels across timelines, are profoundly different from the laws of third dimensional physicality and morality. When walking your soul path along with your 3rd dimensional self you must be able to honor both sets of laws. In third dimension, there is life and death, black and white, even with the understanding in physics that all is in movement by observing atoms… the experience of a wall is still solid. To walk along the soul path, one must hold these limitations while opening your consciousness to the limitless experience of the soul.

The books offered by Edgar Cayce and Brian Weiss offer a pathway through this unchartered water.

It seems the one with the memories has quite a bit of consciousness juggling to do because the memories are so powerful; But at least there is a full knowing.  The soul who has forgotten or cannot express the knowing in an intelligible way, even to himself, has intense emotion without fabric.  It is painful.

There is an elevation of consciousness that is overtaking the planet.  The focus at times is chaotic.  People can feel the change, but are unable to identify the thread of how the elevation can make a difference.  The increase in seeing our connection to each other across nations is taking hold.

Along with this elevation, there is a deeper understanding of soul life; this soul work opens the opportunity for increased compassion; the importance of treating each person as if they are part of your soul family.  A brother or sister or lover from another spacetime, increases the true sense of connection and need for tenderness in response.

I am deeply grateful to have elevated my sense about the true interconnections not only across species and with the earth as a sentient entity, but also across time and space.  It is the unified field theory from the inside out. I hope this experience offers support to any of you who are beginning to see/feel/know information that transcends time and space. in love and light, bg


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What if…part 2. Working through loss.

There was such a positive and powerful response to the first section of chapter one, I thought I would offer the second section to the chapter…please let me know your sense about it… in love and light, bg

I notice the Dean’s lips are moving, but I can’t quite make out what she is saying.
Oh good. Finally she is talking.

Involuntarily, I shivered. She was sitting right next to me, but I couldn’t really understand what she was saying; the words were coming in like an out of tune radio station, they just didn’t make any sense. And then I heard her, sharp and clear…
“Robbie is dead.” “His car went off the road Saturday morning. The police think he was killed instantly.”
The thoughts inside my head blew about me …
No!
No, he isn’t dead; he can’t be dead. I have to tell him…
I have to see him.
I have to tell him how sorry I am.
I have to tell him I’m ready to marry him.
His face flashed across my inner vision. The feelings from our last meeting crashed in my heart.

Flash. Crash!

No! I have to set this right.
I heard my words reverberate back to me. “No! No, he isn’t dead.” “No you mean he’s in the hospital. He’s just hurt; he’ll be okay,” as if I was giving her the corrected line. I couldn’t accept what she was saying.
My urgency must have been unbearable for her. Her eyes blinked with tears. Gently, her head shook no.
She reached across the space on the couch to comfort me, patting my leg rhythmically. I felt faint. The room began to spin. I fell into her chest as she continued to now rhythmically pat my shoulder. She supported me as I broke down.
Her voice unwavering, “No Beth, he is not in the hospital. He’s gone.”
He was gone?
He left me without knowing that I had changed my mind?

Our last interaction, me being such a jerk, was now unforgivable.
It hit me like a one, two punch to my stomach. He was gone, my beautiful future stolen from me. My uncaring and inflated behavior was our last interaction. It stood like a headstone marker on his grave.
Her words and my memories pierced through my consciousness like a knife through my heart. The pain was debilitating. I couldn’t breathe.
I felt at the edge of nothingness, completely powerless. I sat there deflated, like a pierced party balloon. I don’t know how long I remained in this state. When I looked up, the sun was no longer shining and the trees outside mirrored my inner storm.

I finally composed myself enough to walk out of her office.
Her secretary smiled at me weakly as I passed down the hall.
It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other; I could barely walk. I found myself at my dorm room. Thankfully, my suitemate returned to her previous muteness.

That was the only thing that returned to normal. Everything and everyone else was different. Night came and left. Day came and turned to night. Life continued around me but I was not a part of it. I felt robotic, disconnected, remote and out of sync with the whole of life around me. I couldn’t tolerate the birds singing or my friends laughing, wherever joy presented itself I turned away. Happiness grated on me like nails on a chalkboard.
I recoiled from life. Spiritless on the inside, I couldn’t even find the energy to fake it on the outside.

The image of her sweater with black marked stains stuck with me for a long time.

I numbly completed my last semester of college, in a fog, unable to concentrate on anything. Everything changed. I couldn’t bear to listen to music, people laughing, or see my friends. And it seemed they avoided me too. I was flat and lifeless; there wasn’t much there for connection.

Entire days went by without me seeing anyone.
I felt desolate, angry with myself, angry with Robbie, lonely and lost.

In the days that passed, I discovered how in his last moments of his precious life Robbie reoriented the direction of the car to save his passenger’s life. A stranger to our community, this sweet young man began to wish he had died instead of Robbie. To his face I said “no, no…don’t think that.” But in my heart I screamed, yes, yes, why do you get to live; why not Robbie. I hated myself for thinking and feeling that way. I couldn’t stop my heart pain. Life was so difficult and challenging. I was walking though water without a regulator, drowning with every breath.
That heroism was so consistently Rob’s character; he was always there at the right time, loyal and dependable when it really mattered.
Why didn’t he save himself? I was coming back for him.

Inconsolable, time passed in starts and spurts, and then it seemed to trickle by. So much of my energy went to managing my grief that little was left to relate to friends or complete my studies.

“Beth, I’m giving you this A grade because of your work here-to-for, not for the work in this paper.” The words written in red ink across the front of my final paper stung, but I was grateful for the understanding of my dearest sociology professor.
“This is sub-par work Beth, but I know this has been a difficult time so I’m giving you an A in the class anyway.” Another painful note in red from my psychology professor, I vacillated between painful prickling and numbness. I was grateful for their understanding. There was nothing inside to pull on for my studies; I was bereft of passion. There was just enough life in me to robotically go through the motions.

For the next six weeks, my senses were in a state of paresthesia; over and over my professors forgave my distracted, poor work.

Working at 20 percent, I limped into graduation.
Two months after Robbie’s death I graduated, said goodbye to my friends and school, and shut the door to my previous life.

Spiritless, I walked into my barren future. I was the skin you see from a cicada, perfectly formed with no life inside.
I filled the space with work.
Astonishingly, my logical, solution-focused father was the dearest comfort to me during that time.
Notes arrived. They slowly filled the empty space in my apartment and heart.
“Hi honey, thinking of you! Dad” staring at me as I brushed my teeth.
“Remember to get out and see friends. Dad” taped to my steering wheel. I taped them to my mirror, and used them as bookmarks. They marked my path back to life.
He had an unerring capacity to simply be present with me in my grief.
“Here’s a picture of Robbie from when he was at the house. Love, Dad” That picture became my velveteen rabbit.

One day on the phone he told me that Robbie (unbeknownst to me) arrived in my hometown earlier in the year that Robbie had died; he asked my father’s blessing to marry me.
The pictures of them together at my house simultaneously felt stabbing and comforting.
He knew I would come around. He knew I loved him.
He had to have known to fly from New York City to Albuquerque, just to see my Dad.

I kept seeing his face at that last meeting, and feeling how out of sync my actions were. It was shocking and triggered intense discomfort. Steadily though, my unconscious kept driving me toward forgiveness. Like a river pushes and pulls fragments down the current, my thoughts drove me toward forgiveness of him, forgiveness of me, forgiveness of God.

My Dad and I shared this deep love for Robbie.
“He was a good man honey. He loved you so much. I’m glad I got to know him. Keep working it will help you stay strong. You can come home any time you want to honey. Love, Dad.”
He loved you so much, stay strong, those words reverberated in my mind. It was one of the best notes I received from my Dad. I kept it in my favorite journal.

I worked by day as a law firm runner in LA and by evening as a residential counselor with developmentally delayed adolescents, teaching them independent-living skills.
I loved running by moonlight through downtown LA.
I savored my time alone. I don’t know if it was punishment or protective but it was healing. It gave me time to think, forgive, and distance myself from the intensity of what had happened. Although I did most things alone, I shared my apartment with my best friend from college. She was mostly gone working on political campaigns. I was mostly gone working. It was a perfect arrangement for healing.

I loved her so much because I didn’t have to explain what was going on with me. She knew. She loved me anyway. Other than Trish, I can’t remember making any friends.
My memories of that time are like snippets of fabric sewn together with travel along the Southern California freeways.
After fourteen months my senses came back.
Trish had to move to another state to follow an important campaign. I decided to move back to Albuquerque.
It seemed that light began to come back into my daily life.
I heard the birds singing and it didn’t make me want to yell stop. Music was inviting. I danced.
Somewhere, I found the space within me to have faith again in the fabric of Life.

Robbie’s death became a defining experience in my life. The importance of love, honesty, forgiveness, and acting in congruence with my true character became the boundaries required for health and freedom in relationship.
Ultimately, I felt my deliverance from my inner prison. Salvation lit me slowly with the realization that he knew I loved him. He saw through everything from beginning to end. I was the last to see the truth and it was too late to enjoy the love waiting for me.

I forgave myself for being immature and unthinking.
I developed an urgent need to be authentic in all my communications, a left over compulsion from that fateful night. It made me a bit intense and probably too serious.

Overtime, I befriended the ebb and flow of life and death.
I came to accept that there was a tapestry of life that I could tap into and flow with but that I had to remain sincere and accept the consequences of my actions.
If I had married Robbie, I may not have become the person I am today, leaving a hole in the fabric of the lives of those whom I have offered healing counsel. That’s how I think about it now. I walk in a state of grace, with a sense of gratefulness for the gifts I developed out of my devastating loss; grateful to have positively affected so many through that loss.

And it was from that knowing I spent my last weeks with my father as he got chemotherapy for end stage pancreatic cancer.

 

And so here is the first chapter of the book…Working through loss offers deep awareness of the tapestry of life…, how have your traumas elevated your consciousness?  Send me a comment or write one in the space below…in love and light, bg


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What if you knew this was your last day, would you change your story?

Here is the beginning to my next book…please tell me what you think in the comment section, or email me through my website, www.bethgineris.com  in love and light, bg

The Path to Grace, my life from 30 thousand feet: “Like the walls of my neighborhood seen from a thousand feet height, my life experiences create a path on the map to my life destiny.”

Chapter One: Who Knew
My last night with Robbie is seared into my heart and mind.
I was feeling bold, invincible; flirting with his friend and ignoring how it might feel to him; feeling free and without a care.
He seemed to take it all in stride. Standing there, his head tilted to one side, leaning on one foot, with that silly Cheshire-cat grin, but I could tell he was hurt underneath that unassuming demeanor.
That was my last image of him: my last verbal exchange, the defining last action in our relationship.
Later that evening, I called his home phone but the line just rang and rang.
The next morning I drove from LA to Phoenix.
He’s okay. We’ll get over it, once I get back. He knows it wasn’t real. He loves me more than anyone ever has…he will forgive me. The thoughts circled in my mind over the long drive.
During that weekend with my best friend I kept seeing his face. It started to bother me, even with all those previous reassuring thoughts on the drive. I had acted out of character for myself, so hurtful and uncaring. It nagged at the back of my brain.
He was a delightful confluence of opposites, brash and thoughtful, overly serious and disarmingly easygoing. He lived hidden in plain sight. His demeanor conveyed no trappings of materialism while his name connected him to a household name trust fund.
The nagging feeling dissolved into a powerful realization: I was avoiding stepping into the role of becoming an adult. It was obvious that we were meant to be together and now I had to take the next step, as he had long ago asked me to do. Finally, I was ready to marry him.
As I drove back, I was so happy. Everything just felt right. With beautiful images of his smiling face, and our future floating through my mind, I knew he would be ecstatic that I had come to my senses.
He is going to be so happy. It was all I could think about the whole way back to Claremont. I felt at peace with my decision to allow the strength of his love to pull me forward toward my destiny.

At my dorm suite I was met with an onslaught of paper messages posted onto my room door requesting me to report directly to the Dean of Student’s Office. My quirky suitemate who never talked with me, stopped what she was doing, looked up, and smiled at me.
How odd! I thought. Reflexively, I smiled back.
“You should go to the Dean’s office before you go to class.”
She just kept standing there staring at me. It was a little unnerving.
I brushed the back of my neck with my hand to smooth out my hair. “Yeah, okay”… I said absentmindedly, wishing she would return to not talking to me. I turned back to my door, barely stepping into my room. I dropped off my bag inside and looked around my room. It felt like something was out of place, but I couldn’t put my finger on what was missing. I grabbed my notebook for class and started out the door.
All I really wanted to do was find Robbie and tell him my decision. I felt so happy and complete.
“No really, you should go right now.” She was weirdly insistent.
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” I quickly walked out of the suite relieved to be away from her.

Inside her office my dean gently ushered me into a private room. I had never been in this part of the office before. It was nice, quiet almost, peaceful. I wonder what they use this space for, I thought.

My memory of what followed is more like a set of snapshots then a flowing movie.
She looked sad. She was wearing a fuzzy, white sweater. She invited me to sit on her couch. And then she sat down next to me. Her entire continence was warm and sweet.
Weird… I thought. She is never this nice.
I looked out the window distractedly; it was sunny, the tree leaves were gently swaying as if they were in a dance with the wind.

When I turned my attention back to the Dean, she seemed to be moving in slow motion. It was taking forever for her to say what she wanted from me. I remember feeling irritated with her.
Okay Dean, Let’s get on with it. I am kind of in a hurry here…My mind kept thinking of Robbie and how happy he was going to be. I kept visualizing the image of his face, his Cheshire-cat smile with his head cocked to one side.
Robbie is going to be so happy.
I flashed back to the first time he asked me out. It was just after my boyfriend, Chuck, had broken up with me. There he was at my door.
“Hey, you want to go out.” He smiled that smile, leaning against the door, his shoulder length hair lightly bobbing.
“I thought you were dating Nancy.”
“Not anymore, we just broke up.”
“Oh…um, okay, sure.” I was less than enthusiastic. But it didn’t seem to bother him at all.
Later, that evening I ran into Nancy and she was superbly angry. “Hey Nance, what’s up?” I spoke to her as I passed her on the catwalk.
“Are you going out with Rob?”
“Yeah, he asked me to go to the club. He said you two were broken-up.”
“Oh yeah, we are. As soon as he heard you and Chuck weren’t together he came over to me, and broke-up with me. Turns out he’s been waiting to date you the whole time. I really should be mad at you. I liked him.” She stood there staring at me, trying to look angry, but mostly just looking depressed and a little bored. “I guess that’s just the way it is.”
“Nancy, I’m sorry,” she interrupted me, “Whatever Beth. It figures. I’ll see you later.”

I smiled to myself as I came out of the memory. Robbie always knew we were meant to be together. And as soon as I finish here, I can tell him he was right.
My mind came back to the room and the Dean. I started wishing that I hadn’t listened to my quirky suitemate.
For a moment I started to think I was in trouble.
And then, I felt a little mad. Why is everyone trying to ruin my good feeling about telling Robbie about my decision? What is she doing? I want to get to Robbie’s place before class.
Bits of thoughts swirled in my head as I waited quietly for her to speak. I tried to focus. There is definitely something off about this whole thing. I really wish I had just gone straight to Robbie’s.
I notice the Dean’s lips are moving, but I can’t quite make out what she is saying.
Oh good. Finally she is talking.
Involuntarily, I shivered. She was sitting right next to me, but I couldn’t really understand what she was saying; the words were coming in like an out of tune radio station, they just didn’t make any sense. And then I heard her, sharp and clear…
“Robbie is dead.” “His car went off the road Saturday morning. The police think he was killed instantly.”
The thoughts inside my head blew about me …
No!

…..

What if you knew the act you were taking, the words you were saying was/were going to be the defining action or statement in a situation…would you want to change the story?

There’s more to come and I will share it over the next three months…Hopefully the book will be available in 2016.  It’s a great resource to understand how and why to live mindfully. in love and light, bg

 


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Mindful action requires sensefulness

Intention, Attention, Perspective, and Perception, are four words that describe sensefulness; these words are guiding principles that create in their intersection mindful action.  Acting from these principles, together, places a person in present-time and calls for mindful action.

Being mindful is like seeing in 3-Dimensions, seeing in several dimensions, at once.

merkabah portalWhen I first started to do injections into joints I had to learn all the anatomy of those joints. There is a sensfulness that it requires for success.  It requires a degree of inner sight that creates a set of coordinates that places the fluid precisely where it needs to go. It is the same when working with complicated systems, family and relationship systems. When working as a therapist with families or couples seeing in 3-D is fundamental to being able to get the whole picture from the two (or more) skewed perspectives offered. You have to be able to interpret what is, and isn’t said, as well as the energy and force of what matters to the various participants.
Reading pulses in my oriental medicine training, and attending to the face, energy, and meridian systems in each human I treat with Oriental medicine requires attending to all the information in relation to each other and in space and time. I was taught to feel depth, quality and speed of each of the 12 channels but I also felt the emotion that went with the pulse. One of my teachers told me that was atypical. Yet it was the most important aspect to HOW I chose to treat the person successfully.  This multidimensional sight is simply the intersection of the principles of Intention, Attention, Perspective, and Perception.  This is the way in which one determines How to respond to incoming stimuli when interacting with others mindfully or in relationships as partners and parents

I think seeing in 3-D is essential for real, full communication and right action. And unless it’s natural it’s something that requires awareness about how to do it and lots of practice.
The words intention, attention, perspective, and perception increase your awareness and focus you onto the space in a 3-dimensional way.

  • Intention focuses you in on what you intend, what you want/desire or what the other intends, wants/desires.
  • Attention focuses you in on the tone, loudness, word choice, meaning and emotion as well as whether you and the other have the same meaning for words and/or actions – it pulls you into the present.
  • Perspective gets you into the figure/ground aspect of the interaction and allows for paradigm identification and paradigm shifting.
  • And, perception has aspects of all of the other three but in a more whole-istic fashion. It allows for mindful understanding and mindful action.

It’s like looking at a situation, relationship, or problem from a 360 degree perspective, breadth as well as depth.

When you are thinking about a situation or a relationship start to use these words as guide posts to increase your mindfulness awareness of yourself and the other(s) involved and see if you don’t get some surprising answers about what may be going on in those situations.
You can use your intuitive sense, your observations, questioning skills, and willingness to listen and act in a mindful present moment way. Practice applying the whole picture to the situation. (Copyright, bethgineris from turning NO to ON: the art of parenting with mindfulness, 2011.)

Working with the idea of 4th dimension, space and time, is a way of thinking about what happens when you are shifting paradigms.

Immanuel Kant in his Critique of Pure Reason developed a concept of transcendental philosophy. In Kant’s view, a priori intuitions and concepts provide us with some a priori knowledge which also provides the framework for our a posterior knowledge. His theory about space-time is fascinating as to how it relates to the 4th dimension. Space and time for Kant are a form of perceiving, together, and causality is a form of knowing. From his perspective both space and time and our conceptual principles and processes pre-structure our experience.

This develops the idea that paradigms and paradigm shifting are a product of perceiving and then introspectively knowing. For Kant things as they are in themselves are unknowable. In his view for something to become an object of knowledge, it must be experienced, and experience is structured by our minds – both space and time being the forms of our intuition, or perception, and the unifying, structuring activity of our concepts. These aspects of mind turn things in themselves into the world of experience – so that they can be known.

For me, multidimensional sight is viewing with your five senses plus intuition,

  • and the concept of time as represented by the now, past, and future;
  • 2/ recognizing how interpretations in time affect the future; and
  • 3/ noting how changing those interpretations actually CHANGES reality.

Mindfulness increases ones capacity to see in 4-D. I think of mindfulness as a concept that includes spirit, mind, and body responses integrated with information to guide our actions and cognitions, in the space-time continuum of the NOW.

Our minds are full with a focus on perception, attention, perspective, intention, and time. These are the foci that allow us to see in 4-d – giving space for figure/ground perspective and paradigm shifting.

Intuition provides a blink response, as described by Malcolm Gladwell in this book by the same name. A cue that there is something wrong or right. It allows for us to integrate our observations of our sensing system with our knowledge to guide us. The blink quality may allow for this integration to come to us as a whole (what Fritz Perls defined as a Gestalt) and in an instant.

Emotions are not knowings in and of themselves, they are triggers, or responses – it may be a trigger to alert us that there is someone crossing our boundaries like an internal sensing alarm system, or they may be emotional triggers to survivor scenarios, or responses as a posterior knowledge.

Viewing emotions as experiences but not knowings assists one in determining how to respond to an emotion. A good example is Feeling sorry for oneself it can erode at our being in an insidious way but is not always rooted in a reality.

  • Recognizing that perceptions and experiences can be temporal but not necessarily real or factual can assist one in seeing in 4-D and remaining centered in ones life.

body healsIf you find yourself feeling defensive, angry or feeling poor me, assess whether the feeling is part of a habit reaction pattern or a trigger OR an accurate assessment of something happening in the present moment.

  • Sometimes these feelings are cues about how what is happening now is akin to something historical that needs to be addressed.
  • When the feeling is nagging and bothersome rather than intense and loud then it may be indicative of a problem if it feels reactive and loud then it may be more of a habit reaction pattern or trigger. This is counterintuitive.
  • You can make a comparison of history event and the now event, to discern which is in play.
  • Mindfulness is a concept of utilizing one’s emotional sensory guidance system, and physical sensing system and the

Fullcapacity of our cognitive and problem solving skills to evaluate situations and experiences in order to create and guide our way. This is seeing in 4-D and allows for a unifying and flexible style of relating in the world.
Seeing in 4-D increases one’s capacity for centeredness and groundedness with flexibility and strength.

Seeing in multiple dimensions, inner guidance III
Allowing yourself to listen to the vast information available to you through your internal guidance system is essential for mindful, comprehensive communication and right action. Even though this is a natural, instinctual process – it can be eroded in early childhood due to a push to conform to group rules and beliefs – when you want to recapture your connection to this internal guidance you need to increase your awareness and practice paying attention and responding.
The words intention, attention, perspective, and perception increase your awareness and focus you onto the space in a multi-dimensional way. Each word embodies a specific energy or vibration that can wholly stand alone, but when the energy of each term is inked the whole of the process is multi-dimensional.
• Feel into the meaning of each of these terms for yourself so that you can get an image of the vibration of the word interacting like an equation with the other words.
• Give the internal image dimension through color or shape in how you experience the words interacting.
• This will allow you to create your own picture of how to focus yourself onto your path through your inner guidance holding the multi-dimensional information from your senses together yet bounded in a way to see the various paradigms.
• The interactions between and among the vibrations are as important as the word meanings and the whole equation.
You may see the words relating like a spear and a target, then a circling or something that encompasses and then finally something that shoots to a height and then grounds like an anchor. All directions and energies; not a blur of color that becomes murky but energy and color interacting and adjusting
Intention focuses you in on what you intend, what you want/desire or what the other intends, wants/desires.
Attention focuses you in on the tone, loudness, word choice, meaning and emotion as well as whether you and the other have the same meaning for words and/or actions – it pulls you into the present.
Perspective gets you into the figure/ground aspect of the interaction and allows for paradigm identification and paradigm shifting.
And perception has aspects of all of the other three. It allows for mindful understanding and mindful action.
It’s like looking at a situation, relationship, or problem from a 360 degree perspective, breadth as well as depth, multi-dimensionally.
So when you are thinking about a situation or a relationship start to use these words as guide posts to increase your mindfulness awareness of yourself and the other(s) involved and see if you don’t get some surprising answers about what may be going on in those situations. Pay attention to your internal guidance through your six senses to see if you can get a multidimensional picture and understanding of the situation or relationship.
You can use your intuitive sense, your observations, questioning skills, and willingness to listen and act in a mindful present moment way and this will have two effects: increase your personal degree of compassion and decrease your personalization of the information – personalization here meaning taking something personally with some sort of negative attachment rather than seeing the information more objectively or mindfully.
Paying attention to the quiet voice within and clarifying your intention – these will increase your understanding of your inner guidance and give you direction about what is your best right action.
It can also help you know when your best action is non-action, allowing or going with the flow. For some this is the most difficult “action” to take, but when it is connected to this inner knowing it feels active to be in a waiting, allowing space.
Being mindful opens the door to seeing in multiple dimensions and distinguishing different currents of information simultaneously, which creates a space to understand each separately and see how each affect the other.
Copyright, beth gineris, turning Me to we: the art of partnering with mindfulness, 2013.

YOU can Gather support from the natural environment.

internal guidance systemMeditate, create art, work in the garden, exercise, walk through nature, in reconnecting with the tapestry of life you can see the support there as you offer shift in consciousness to your human community.

Shed your skin, Trust your heart-centered, inner guidance IV system.  Live your life fully and allow your full, big self to be present in the tapestry of life.  You may experience a new Alignment within you, around you and between you and source. in love and light, bg

Find out more in my new book,Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your  Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

Aligning with your true path, your true self  with your multidimensional sight allows for healing. 


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health stats

Pay attention to your Health stats.

When your immune system is down. Think about how you can shift your nutrition and build in meditation yoga and stress management — these are your best treatments to build immune.

Crazy simple:  sleep, exercise, good food, and breathwork are best at healing your body.

In terms of nutrition focus on dark berries, dark leafy greens, quinoa, eggs, dark beans, and white beans.

In terms of supplements – D3, a good B stress, like B100- which includes b2, b4, b6, b12, niacin and folic acid, C with rosewood and cranberry to assist in intake.

If you are a vegetarian make sure you get iron (you can take a plant based supplement called floradex) and zinc (make sure you get a formula that has the proper zinc and copper relationship or chelated zinc) These can assist you.

Vegetarianism is a great way to get nutrition- you just have to be good at getting enough protein and immune support from beans, chickpeas, berries and yogurt (if you are not lactose intolerant — yogurt is my go to every day to help stay balanced and get protein and digestive enzymes naturally).

star of david reflectionEmotions, and lack of spiritual grounding and connection can negatively affect your immune system, that’s the reason for making sure you are participating in stress reducing activities like yoga, meditation, breathwork, and exercise in a balanced way, every day.

Your health is an integrated thing: mind, spirit and body — all three together – good food sustains your body and helps with balanced thinking and spirit source connection – so does breathwork and exercise prayer and meditation – it isn’t usually one thing but all together in harmony that maintain your health.

You can find out more – just search this site for: 4×4 habits for health.  Spirit, mind, body, community.

There are many articles on balancing spirit mind and body, and resetting your thinking.

internal guidance systemSpirit : breath, meditation, yoga, Qi gong, connection to your natural inner senses as sensory guidance system.
Mind: stress reduction,  cognitive retraining, forgiveness, gratitude, paradigm shifting.  Reducing anxiety and shifting depressive thinking.
Body: food, water, rest, and exercise
Community offers connection and Rejuvenation
Best supplements identified above as well as inositol hexaphosphates and inositol
Best yoga position – find yoga strategies for health, check out this site for more information about how yoga and health are related.

http://www.yogitimes.com/profile.php?personid=ccb1d07df8696726b3558076d5c94ff2&secid=9aa353048879c62132507f66483db25f&prof_tab=recent_post

Best foods – brain food, https://integrativemedicinestrategiesnow.wordpress.com/2012/11/19/brain-food-really/
Best spices – health spices https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/11/19/smile/

And finally, if you feel sad, apathetic, lost, out of sync, unable to find your way in the world, consider creating space in your life, every day, to return to nature.

Hike in the mountains, walk on the beach, take a walk through the park.  Swing on a swing, ride a bike..reconnect to nature all around you. You can feel this even through the plants in your lobby or on your windowsill.

The more you allow yourself the opportunity to reconnect with nature, the more likely you will feel a release of negativity and an inner communication that you may have earlier silenced so that you can again or for the first time feel deeply connected to the tapestry of life.

Albuquerque skiesThe trees inhale your carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen.  You inhale oxygen and exhale Carbon dioxide.  We, the trees and humans, animals, birds, are all interconnected in one tapestry of life.  Part of the intense degree of disconnect seen in the field of mental health is the severe disconnection humans experience from the natural sense communication in nature.  Go out into nature and you can begin again to develop your internal sensory guidance senses first with the five plus one senses of sight, smell, taste, sound, touch and intuition, and then as you develop your sense awareness these will expand tenfold.

With these actions you will discover your own personal path to grace.

Find out more about this in future writings on this blog and through my new book, Instinctive Health Medicine, Finding Your  Path to Grace, due out in July 2016.

in love and light, bg

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

 

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg

 

 


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4×4 Habits 2 Health, Create a map

Take the time today and over the next seven days to envision a picture of health.  This is the foundation of what you desire to create.  Include in this picture a multidimensional perspective of your self.

What a re you looking for?

  • Better, more healing relationships?
  • A healthier relationship to food, your body, your spiritual connection?
  • A way to navigate your multitasking life, or overwhelming commitments?
  • A way to manage anxiety and stress?
  • An increase in vitality both mentally and physically?

photoTake an hour ( or two) to create the picture with words or a collage. You may use your personal creative skills of drawing or painting or picture cut out of magazines to design your visual prompt.

collage inspirationYou can use the collage of words and pictures as a source or map from which you can draw support and reaffirm your goals.

Once you have completed this visual aid, set up a morning and evening ten minute time to reset you commitment to your goals.  Sit in a quiet place and view the picture, then close your eyes and breathe…  Breathing in and breathing out for three to five minutes. While you are doing this you may identify more information about what you may what to accomplish.  Write this down and then return to your breathing.

Over the course of the next seven days you may add this information to your visual aid.

Do this for ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes in the evening.

Over the course of the next seven days, increase your awareness of what you feel is or is not working in your life – or what you desire to shift.  You may add this to your map/visual aid.

In addition, you may want to practice 9 sun salutations per morning to assist you in centering and returning to breath.  Here is an article with visuals to assist you in creating this practice.  http://www.yogitimes.com/article/re-balance-healing-healer-life

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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Smile

Getting prepped for the Thanksgiving Holiday?

Whether you will be embracing the holiday with friends and family or alone, Here are some tips to help:

Think SMILE:  Spirit, Mind, Intention, aLignment, and Energy

Holidays can be stressful on your spirit, mind, body and community connections.

A little stress is fine, you can think of how it helps you stretch yourself and push the boundaries of your life and living habits.  But too much stress is harmful, it can lead to inflammation, anxiety, wear and tear on your spirit, attitude, and physical self.

Humans experience stress by hunkering down, pulling in, holding in tense muscles and releasing cortisol.  This is all good if you are faced with a situation that requires immediate reactive attention and action.  But it’s important to then move through that event to recovery and reset…homeostasis, return to balance.

This is a normal aspect of how your integrated physical/emotional/spiritual body works….sympathetic nervous system is the action system in your integrated self and the parasympathetic nervous system is the regenerative system of you integrated self.

Holidays give the promise of regeneration, connection, and gratitude…but often the reality is STRESS…feeling disconnected, running around to make things work, and/or intense feeling of loss or lack for those are not in the situation to be with community.  The last part of this has to do with the basic human empathic drive to connect.  This drive to connect is not just emotional it is hard-wired into your brain through mirror neurons.  Mindful meditation assists in increasing empathy and altruism as part of how your brain works.  Of course having a willingness to simply breathe, meditate and refocus is a great way to deal with stress.  But for any of you who need some tricks to get yourself there, here are some great ideas.

SMILE is a way to help yourself. Not only is the action of smiling releasing of positive chemicals in your brain it also has a relaxing effect on your muscles.  Next, after you smile remember to breathe deeply into your solar plexus…this also causes a deep sense of relaxation and triggers the positive effects of the parasympathetic nervous system.

Have on hand the following helpful Brain foods, spices, smells, and tastes….

Brain foods...Walnuts, pecans, eggs, kidney beans, white beans, ( these food have positive effects on your brain neurotransmitters and strengthen the plasticity of your brain – that’s what helps with memory and learning) ( also these foods have important amino proteins that help strengthen the cortex of your brain) Cacao (that’s right dark chocolate treats anxiety by calming our heart), coffee ( the coffee bean has positive antioxidant and health benefits for brain and heart activity – careful on the amount, stay at 2 cups a day), cauliflower, broccoli, and dark colored berries (blueberries, cherries, raspberries) as well as the amazing energizing, immune strengthening food, goji berries… and wonderful avocado, the best kind of fat necessary to really keep your blood vessels going and your brain working.

Spices…Cinnamon (calms your spirit while energizing your body…balances blood sugar, eases digestion), Licorice (licorice bark, fennel, anise) licorice calms your heart – actually slows your heart pulse, and eases digestion for those upcoming heavy meals, Clove, ( energizes and balances – it has a synergistic effect on your spirit mind and body – which results in a sense of peace, and use these Smells to further positively effect your integrated energetic system.

Tastes..Citrus has an immediate effect on mood..Lemon, and Lime help to diffuse anger; Orange and Bergamot are anti-depressant; peppermint opens the nasal passages and the lungs, oregano helps to balance the internal digestive system.  Clove, frankincense , vanilla, lavender, all, reset and balance deeper levels of dissonance, sadness, grief and loneliness, anxiety and heart injury. These work best both from a taste and scent perspective.

So using these foods as medicine helps you to set the stage for the returning to balance and get your parasympathetic nervous system to engage and shift your energy.

SMILE is a perfect acronym for this – the action reminds you to focus on the attitude of gratitude.

Try these these three things:

  • Pay attention to what is working in your life, rather than what isn’t working…Rather than continuing to pile-on exterior examples of how the world is against you – consider the things that are working in your life…this action helps you focus on the WHOLE of your life and so diminishes the negative effect of your life stressors and increases the positive effect of your life’s benefits.
  • Focus on what you want rather than what you fear..this is a way to reset where your power is- attend to what you have control over and put your energy into that rather than worrying about the events or possibilities that might happen or that you have no control over changing…this is a locus of control concept and resets your locus (place) of control into your internal center.  The result is empowered action and inner strength.
  • Change have to Be… If you want to have something in your relationship, be that.  This is the power of modeling and increasing your internal empowerment and focus on what is working…Gandhi’s:  BE the change you wish to see in the world.

The idea of shifting your perspective to gratitude, is the intention behind the idea of Thanksgiving, when this intention is lost in the activity of making it perfect or feeling like you have nothing to be thankful for, Smile can assist you to shift your perspective.

Smile:  Spirit, Mind, Intention, aLignment, and Energy

Spirit:  reconnect to your heart’s joy through these foods, spices, smells, and tastes..

Mind:  Shift your attitude to where you actually have power, engage compassion, forgiveness, and perspective shifting.

Intention:  reset to your parasympathetic nervous system, slow down and rest what you really want to accomplish- what your goal is for the holiday — the attitude of gratitude.

aLignment:  reorder your priority to what you want not what you fear – to what is working  – what you are grateful for – to where you have power… Ie: if you burn the turkey – you are still all together – so maybe you are having a vegetarian thanksgiving…the old make lemonade out of lemons rather than stressing about approval and perfection.

Energy:  get out and move, make sure you sleep, release and let go of historical grudges – forgive, (if the action is something that disallows you from seeing the person – this is a reasonable choice -> it is the holding on that I am suggesting you release – it happened, it changed you or the other person or your relationship – accept that fact, and then release the anger, fear, and negativity so that it can be placed into your history and not create stress or disease in the now).

Smile.  It is a gift to yourself and a gift to those with whom you interact.  It is a flower that can uplevel your and other’s consciousness.  Smile gratitude, forgiveness, rejuvenate, return to balance. These are good preps to having a Happy Thanksgiving and a positive experience in the coming holidays. in love and light, bg

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

 

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg

 

 


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Inner and Outer Reflection, Paradigm shifting

Outer Reflection is how you see.  You make determinations about your self, others, what you have created and what you can create via a mirror–>through what you perceive reflected back to you.  The work in development is to establish an inner picture that can take in new information as it is reflected but can also deflect distorted information. choose Outer Reflection is how you decipher how others see you. What you like in another is often about what you are striving for in yourselves.  Sometimes it works against you, via a thing called projection:

What we dislike in another may also be about something we dislike within ourselves that we don’t want to accept. (this was first identified as a psychological ego defense mechanism by Freud).

reflection Defensiveness is a notable component of projection.  It is also an inner clue to let you know that you are being triggered and reacting from a habit reaction pattern, or in past-tense, rather than in present time.  You can use the feeling of defensiveness to gently nudge you to use Inner reflection to mindfully determine how to respond to a situation.   We are all one unit.  The universe, the plant, animal and human species are one dynamic, interactive organism. The universe is constantly responding to you and you are constantly responding to the universe.  This is the nature of things; it is a kind of ebb and flow. When you get stuck in a habit of reacting, or an attachment to how things should be or look,  then you get caught in a feedback loop wherein you perceive specific things being mirrored back to you that are more about your history than the present moment.  You lose the benefit of the dynamic reflection of the universe, and relationships. Turning No to ON works with this element of reflection…using the mirror reflection of ON from no, to get you to use your inner reflective tools. Inner reflection is mindfulness.  It is an active process of recognizing, perceiving the mirror reflection and then using paradigm shifting to determine the voracity of the outer reflection.  It gives you space, slows time, so that you can actually create broader and deeper connections to your environment, and your community.  It increases understanding, clarifies your place in the world and transcends fear-based reactivity. Turning Me to We in relationships uses inner reflection to include a vision of the world as interdependent rather than narcissistic or defensive.  Narcissistic reactions are all about me, me, me.  They are fear-based and one-dimensional.  Defensive reactions are both me and I, I, I, they are fear-based and two-dimensional.  YOU can Use this reflective aspect of the universe to reset your self and get to neutral, so you can create interdependent, non-fear-based, multi-dimensional relationships that encourage connection and collaboration.

I chose these reflective, mirroring titles to telegraph the importance of transcending reactive, defensive, fear-based interaction. I wanted to encourage at the start this focus on the reflections, not just the meaning of these words, to get you to understand and engage in the internal shift required for health.  You only have power over yourself.  The world within which you live is your creation.  When you own that, you free yourself to make the necessary changes within yourself to create the world you truly desire from your integrated, non-fear reactive, multi-dimensional spirit, mind, body self.

Turning No to ON is moving from No to Yes and Off to On.  It is dynamically and mindfully working with the entire situation within which the No is happening to understand what is being reflected by the child, so that you can shift him or her to an On position ready to participate, interact and learn. When no is turning into ON it has to shift focus, see from a different perspective: see the reflection of the NO so that you can understand the Yes and be ON. When me is turning to we it uses an inversion, a shift in perspective, so that the needs of me shift into the needs and receptivity of we.  You can think of using an inversion to shift the M into a W.

In order to get from Me to WE you have to develop empathy, boundaries and inner security. Me is dependent, needy and insecure. An individual who is relating in a Me style of relationship has loose boundaries, difficulty saying no, and often feels s/he must give up self needs to meet the needs of the other.

I is defensive, competitive and fearful of being engulfed. An individual who is relating in an I style of relationship has rigid boundaries, difficulty saying yes, and fear of being subsumed into the other and lose internal strength. In order to move out of Me and I styles of relating you need to use both the power of reflection from others and a sense of inner security to establish a path through Me and I styles of relating into a We style of relating with mutuality and flexible boundaries. Finally, remember that paradigms are a part of how we interpret these reflections.  Practice inversions and this will assist you in developing a way through the Me and I to the WE or through the No to ON. Paradigm shifting is visual and language.  An example of a visual paradigm shift is the traditional duck/ bunny.imagesB An example of a language paradigm shift is that the name for the Tibetan word for sun is the Hopi word for moon and the Hopi word for Sun is the Tibetan word for Moon.  If you make a straight line from the Hopi land through the earth you come out on the other side in Tibet. http://www.ahastories.com/hopiprophecy.html. Truth is held at the center of all paradigms. When you allow yourself to release your attachment to something being a certain way then you are free to shift your paradigm and connect. Take the time now to understand what matters to you.  Look for ways to be congruent in your beliefs, your thinkings, and your actions.  Allow your words and actions to align with each other.

  • Discern what creates defensiveness, fear, insecurity, and lack of faith in you.
  • Find ways to Create:
  • Connection out of defensiveness,
  • Love and Knowing out of fear,
  • Confidence out of insecurity,
  • and Faith out of lack of faith.
  • Do this and everything you desire will be at your heart center and your fingertips.

Use these uncomfortable feelings to teach you about yourself through Inner and Outer Reflection.  You will become the strongest person in your world, empowered to create what you desire. Namaste, in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Even More outlined in Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014.  You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through her website.  This book is the HOW TO companion book to Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013).front cover.me2we Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure). You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through the Turning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.  One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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Social policy, unintended consequences, and how wolves create rivers

In Sociology there is a term that is used to discuss the problem with social change policies, unintended consequences.

There has been a longstanding debate in the field of Sociology, regarding what to do with the information gathered through observation, even participant-observation, by sociologists.  Should sociologists use the information to create social policy, social change OR should sociologists remain observers and educators about what they learn so that humans can be more fully educated and then free to make the best choice for themselves in small groups and individually. Currently we are in a time-continuum where the social change aspect of sociology is winning that debate.

Bias is the biggest problem in the practice of sociology.  Since bias is imbedded into each sociologist’s consciousness through her upbringing and social group connections it becomes difficult to see personal bias.  Therefore, sociologists are at risk for introducing bias into the equation of truth without consciously knowing it. The process of paradigm shifting, critical thinking and mindfulness greatly assists sociologists in recognizing their bias, but it is a constant challenge.

In science the practice of the double-blind study is meant to resolve these issues.  However, for sociologists the type of study is observation and cataloguing, even in participant-observation an investigator ‘joins’ the group, simply to observe.  You can think of this as an undercover officer without any intention of actually stopping tragedies that are observed.  This is how the original focus was on identifying and reporting observations; you can think of this like the Prime Directive of no interference in Star Trek.  Education was the way to create change rather than directly participating in social ‘justice’ change policy.  Recognizing that society is dynamic, living the sociologist observes but avoids interfering with the process due to the risk of unintended consequences…what western biological medicine might call bad side effects of specific pharmaceuticals.

Let’s look at a few changes that have come through this action of social change policy.

Unintended consequences of No-fault divorce.

Prior to 1985, in order to get divorced fault had to be proved by one of the married parties.  The thinking in the eighties was that this resulted in high incidence of suicide by wives and high incidence of domestic violence against women.  So the passage of no-fault divorce was thought to assist women to feel more free and empowered.  Unfortunately, it resulted in the ‘feminization of poverty’ and more children living in poverty.

From Wikipedia:  A paper published in The Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy, written by Douglas Allen, on the economics of same-sex marriage, argues that the introduction of no-fault divorce led to a six-fold increase in just two years after a century of rather stable divorce rates. Also, the law increased the rate at which women entered the workforce, increased the number of hours worked in a week, increased the feminization of poverty, and increased the age at which people married. ( Allen, Douglas (June 22, 2006). “An economic assessment of same-sex marriage laws.”Harvard Journal of Law & Public Policy 29.)

A more useful action would be to educate children about choosing partners, the MAAPS concept developed by Gineris, 2013, and being mindful in marriage choices.  The debate to allow same-sex couples to marry has missed out on this aspect of importance in creating positive, powerful partnerships regardless of gender combination.

The ACA has already led to unintended consequences.

The focus by the ACA was on creating more insurance.  Coming from a perspective within the healthcare system as a provider and a receiver it is noticeable already that, unfortunately, at least so far ACA has resulted in less access to healthcare. In the last six months the number of individuals covered with insurance has dropped, due to actions resulting from the ACA.  Few individuals were able to get coverage who were not previously covered in 2008.    The intended outcome target has been missed and the trend is downward.  (For those individuals reading this that tend toward cynicism,  this may be a private intended consequence of those who put the ACA it into place because they are interested in a different form of insurance…however it is an unintended consequence from the historical statements of the intention to create a source for better access to healthcare at a lower price.)

A more powerful effect of sociological data about lifespan and lifestyle would have been to educate individuals on the benefits of caring for their physical vehicle, emotions and consciousness.  Education on how to live healthfully to avoid the need for healthcare. This creates an opportunity for individuals to take ownership in creating their own health and managing their choice in this regard.  Education increases understanding and therefore power to create personal change.  This is the dynamic aspect of society. Change from within based on many individuals making similar choices due to knowledge and experience.

if you give a man a fish you feed him for a day, if you teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime….’

Day-care, having your child be raised by the community rather than your personal family social system has resulted in unintended consequences.

Parents have less say in the care of their children.  Due to the nature of human beings learning about how to be in a community from their caregivers in early childhood, the influence of the parent has greatly reduced and the influence of the state has greatly increased.  Parents chose daycare to increase their freedom to work – often a necessity, however they were unaware of the consequence of losing influence in the beliefs, personality, and behavior of their own children.

In addition the psychological makeup of the child raised in daycare is to be cared for by the a group or community, thus the seedling idea that the government owes a person certain positive rights.

A more effective use of the sociological knowledge of how children develop beliefs, their MAAPS for relationship, and values is to educate parents and children as they develop, about these concepts so that individuals can be more empowered and free to make these choices in parenting and care.

Making pot legal will result in unintended consequences.

This is controversial for me to say.  I know.  Many alternative healers feel that marijuana is positive.  Often I hear my colleagues espousing its benefits.  My experience both as a psychotherapist and as an energy field healer belies this.  Pot mucks up the electromagnetic field so that the person over time is cut off from his or her direct sensory system connection to spirit.  Yes some individuals may describe feeling more connected to spirit when they are under the influence of pot, but they have lost their direct connection through their electromagnetic field and have diminished their effectiveness of their sensory  guidance system.  The effects of this remains even after the person stops using marijuana and can only be healed through energetic clearing tf the person’s electromagnetic-field by an energy worker.  So the unintended consequence is to diminish the person’s connection to spirit and to make the person dependent upon the drug to have the inspirational experience.  Additionally, long-term, excessive use diminishes a person’s sense of innovation and will, resulting in a constant state of being slightly like a zombie.

Education openly about issues that underly pot use would be more fruitful than simply saying it is harmless, no more harmful than smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol.  This would allow for each individual to make an evaluation from a more holistic perspective.

The hypocrisy of professors, like Bill Ayes, who makes over 100K a year and teaches anti-Americanism: “I pray every day that I can change America and get rid of Capitalism”…he isn’t off the grid he is living through Capitalism.  He argues against financial inequality while actually creating it with his behavior. The challenge of being in a position of expert is to unintentionally miss out on the opportunity to actual teach the positive effects of thinking through a problem personally using mindfulness and critical thinking.  Using the position of teacher or professor to speak the truth without teaching the importance of dialogue and critical thinking to continuing to evaluate the veracity of that truth, is wholly unethical and creates the unintended consequence of creating ignorance rather than increasing the skills for decision-making and upleveling consciousness.

A more useful application of the sociological information about power and community is to create a space wherein the participant can sort through the answer though mindfulness and critical thinking.  Educating students on how to think, how to use their brains to think through a problem, deduction rather than just come up with the answer the professor determines true, in a Sherlock Holmsian style of clarity and mindfulness would allow for continued consciousness elevation for the entire community of human beings, and ultimately the planet.

The Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 and the Child Abuse Act of 1974,2010 seem to have fared better than the above examples.

The Indian Child Welfare Act (1978) was originally set in place in response to several things, the high incidence of children leaving the reservations and being raised in non-Indian homes which led to a high incidence of depression and suicide as the children reached adolescence (far greater than those children adopted who were from non-indian families).  This appeared to be a cultural issue as well as a psychosocial developmental issue.  In addition, there was concern from the Native American community that the Native American culture was being decimated by the loss of their children to carry it onward.

There were problems in dealing with how a child was identified as Indian, in that various tribes had different percentages of Native blood or connection to a tribal roll as ways to identify a being as Native American. As time went on it also became an issue if the child had never been a part of the Native Community (1982) especially if the parents had not actually lived in the Native Community in their own upbringing.  However, the intended consequences were met positively, due to this act the incidence of suicide by Native American children in early adolescence decreased dramatically, and far more Native American children were endowed with their cultural heritage.

The Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act  (1974, 2010) has had a positive effect on the increasing recognition and identification of child abuse by parents and communities, and the general understanding of the societal culture.  There have been difficulties with managing the regulation of foster parents and managing how to respond to these kinds of problems with families either through criminal cases or education through various state agencies developed to protect children removed from unsafe homes.

These Mantras clarify how to proceed as a sociologist.  Those who don’t study history tend to repeat it.  Because there are cycles in the sociological development of human communities. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.  This is based in the problem of a legislative, bureaucracy making decisions that require the fineness of individuality.  An agency moves too slowly and cumbersomely to make adjustments that are personal and individualized.  Regulation and individual freedom work against each other unless the regulation is set up to protect negative rights versus positive rights, ie: the basis of the US Constitution.    And finally, the strongest ethical position for all sociologists: know your biases, act from a neutral non-biased perspective.

Counselors who are in the business of change are constantly working to maintain a watchful eye on their own biases in how they assist their clients and patients to change.

Mindfulness, Compassionate understanding, Critical thinking by drilling down as well as expanding the knowledge of whatever you are attempting to resolve increases your opportunity create change that elevates the consciousness of the planet. As you take care in your own assumption about what is true, pay attention to an inner pressure to make another do what you feel is right. Stop, Look and Listen to yourself and the other person, stop acting… take a break, and go within to observe yourself and the underlying assumptions you hold, return to center.

And if you are being pressured against your own inner sense of knowing, that is free of bias but truly instinctive, then you can use your critical thinking and mindfulness to take the best action for your self. When pulled in to create policy, actually discern for yourself what you believe, pay attention to the dynamic aspect of society, listen thoroughly and investigate fully before you proceed with a proposal to avoid social policy change that results in unintended consequences. in love and light, bg

dr beth gineris is an integrative medicine practitioner in albuquerque, new mexico. she offers compassionate, mindful guidance to online coaching clients and clinic patients daily using her medical intuitive, clinical counseling, energetic rebalancing, and oriental medicine skills.  a great class on MAAPS and how to have more positive and empowering relationships is happening in Albuquerque, NM at the center March 15, 2014. Reserve your place at http://www.bethgineris.com  

Spiritual consciousness evolution happens through transcending and connecting to the place where spirit and human are best, not one better than the other. bg