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May 19, 2014
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Pushing Yang over Yin energy for power: negative effects of the masculinization of femininity, part 3

The negative effects of the masculinization of femininity. Part 3 of 3.

Dependent, apathetic, disconnected children. Adolescents and young adults are delaying stepping into a fully independent role in society while enjoying many rights at even younger ages.

I perceive the reticence of the millennium generation to avoid entering into responsible roles in society, delaying entering into adulthood through various avenues of remaining dependent on parents and institutions for support, healthcare and living expenses, the malaise, apathy and lack of focus by an increasing many of the youngest generation– I see all of these serious issues as part of the side effects of the course that feminism has taken.

Feminism has created an environment where men aren’t needed in caring for children. The way in which the feminist movement has focused on elevating women has resulted in minimizing, even eradicating the role of men in caring for and raising children; even issues of providing financially for children has fallen to the state, leaving men to be outcast with respect to having responsible behavior toward their children and the mothers of their children. Men have in many cases been only the physical, genetic requirement.

This diminishment of the man’s role and importance in children’s lives has been a result of the style in which feminist policies have been inculcated and disseminated and it has had a devastating effect on children.

Focusing on the importance of being free sexually has unexpectedly resulted in an over sexualization of children – on one hand creating children as sexual beings far earlier than is healthy while keeping them as children with respect to when they need to be responsible. The Disney corporation, now a part of ABC, focuses on portraying young children as far superior in intelligence than their parents, while dramatizing even the animation characters as over-sexualized with large breasts barely fitting into the drawn-on dress that minimally covers the child’s hips. Additionally, presenting strength in these female characters as aggressive while diminishing any reference to femininity, interior strength required to withstand labor and required to be mindful and powerful creators. While on the one hand it is refreshing to see the removal of all the victim/rescuer stories of past days it is problematic that the message moves from victim awaiting rescue to sexualized aggressive (read masculinized) child.

To project women as strong beings at ease with their sensuality, recognizing the power in their fullness would be far more effective in strengthening women’s rights and opportunities. Women need to be able to embrace their sexuality and carry power over their bodies without having to choose to be either a shielded/covered up being or someone who is throwing sex into every equation… it is a matter of elevating the conversation, presenting power through an emancipated woman able to choose how she wants to be seen and represented in the world.

Women’s rights have actually been diminished in this new sexual age, due to the masculinization of femininity through this skewed feminism…see the youtube below for an example.

The culture has disconnected the rights, and responsibilities for/to those rights, so that the adolescence period has gone from five years (13-18) to 13 years (13-26). Rather than offering an opportunity to further develop skills by offering a longer adolescent period, this has resulted in a situation where they are ill-prepared to enter society as high functioning participants. They have become accustomed to having no responsibilities tied to their rights.

Adolescence is a social, cultural construct. It is not a biological stage. In human societies the adolescent remains with the family to learn social roles, expectations, and develop moral concepts, cognitive skills, impulse control, and develop skills/work training.

From a neurological perspective the brain continues to develop and is somewhat plastic through 26 (28). From a psychosocial perspective the development through the Erikson stages is fairly plastic through age 24. So with those two pieces of data – by not tying rights and responsibilities together before 26 – we are essentially sealing the cognitive beliefs and behaviors to have these unlinked from each other, thereby creating a distorted sense of dependence and independence.

The cost of feminism on this Course, delineated in Part 1, and Part 2, is to diminish the importance of teaching, modeling, caring for children and helping them become independent in the proper timeline. It has distorted the importance of gender roles within the context of a family and a social group. Thereby leaving both women and men unsure as to how to relate to one another. (See Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, Gineris, 2013).

The human species has one of the longest childrearing times. This is partially due to the fact that the human brain is underdeveloped at birth. The style in which humans learn about how to live, grow, partner, and socialize is through modeling from the significant caregivers. Without a representation of healthy interrelating, whole, balanced yin and yang aspects of each gender in the social structure, how can a little human learn to be a multi-dimensionally developed adult? I wonder to what degree this is the reason for such a high level of depression, bipolarity, ADHD, and suicidal thinking among our children — they aren’t given am opportunity to create a true connection to meaning, manage their internal needs with their social expectations, manage their will, understand and develop resilience and personal strength.

You don’t really see suicide in healthy animal populations, until and unless there is human contamination with that species – so it’s something to consider how society may be creating such problems through an imbalanced perspective of femininity.

With respect to humans, across societies women predominantly care for children; in some societies they do physical work as well as household work, depending on the need in that region and the level of financial need.

So, diminishing the importance of that feminine role, and handing it off to state agencies: day care, schools, and programs limits and truncates the positive aspects of a women’s skills in this regard.

Studies show that the brains of women actually are wired to tend and befriend in times of strife…yet feminists are trying to eradicate that aspect of a woman’s role –trying to create yang brains instead of yin ones…

(See figure to the left) Women experience tend and befriend response rather than Fight and flight, moderated through oxytocin and other hormones. Secreted at times of bonding, nurturing, breast-feeding and relationships. Taylor SE et al. Psych Review 2000;107(3):411-29

Those who want to control a society go to the child generation to actually program in what is seen as valuable, acceptable, and imprint the belief systems required for the society. This has to be enacted before the development of moral thinking which begins to solidify around 9 years old…although there is evidence that moral thinking begins earlier than that, and that concentrated, practiced mindful meditation can strongly influence the development of altruism and empathy.

Hatred of a specific group has to be taught to a child. Self-confidence, management of will and power, are all taught. Through efficient parenting children develop from dependent, to independent, to interdependent; without it a child or adolescent can become stuck in an earlier stage of development and simply not reach his or her full potential as an adult in interactive and cognitive skills.

Due to the plasticity of the brain through 24-26 (or 28) year old, enculturation is clarified in the young adult years, making schools, and learning institutions opportunities for mind expanding or mind-contracting growth. Depending on what is happening in those learning institutions. If feminists say that to be a healthy woman you must have specific political beliefs and specific roles than feminism is diminishing the rights and opportunities of women.

Here is an example of how the feminist movement has lost site of its vision.

I have been observing a sharp shift in focus in the universities’ presentation of fact versus beliefs in fields that are represented by women’s studies, philosophy, and sociology. What I am observing is that universities have increasingly become factories to promote propaganda of various ideologies by either stating things are truth, that are simply belief systems, or setting up ‘studies’ to promote these ‘truths’. Additionally the activities of critical thinking, and interactive investigation through dialogue are less supported and in fact discouraged.

There is a movie out called God’s not Dead (April 2014) which documents the inner attack of religion and the attack of specifically christian-faith groups on college and university campuses across America…resulting in over twenty legal civil rights court cases wherein the religious groups and students personal rights were harmed… this underscores my observation that specific prevailing beliefs are being offered as truth in the universities across america...resulting in the universities being propaganda promoters rather than communities of higher learning and free discourse. Although the movie is a dramatization of these events, the style in which those of faith are attacked in general under the guise of intellectuality is ubiquitous.

This course of feminism, the masculinization of femininity, has resulted in a breakdown in the importance of teaching children, and caring for them. This role has thus been taken away from the home and has begun to be placed in government agencies, day care systems, and schools. We don’t efficiently care for them as a society, we are expecting dependence, and we don’t provide the environment that allows for independence and the evolution of consciousness.

To create a new more comprehensive feminist movement yin aspects of femininity need to be honored.

All women’s choices for healthy roles in the society need to be valued.
Attack of women to reduce their power or control them needs to be disavowed.
Transcending the spaces where yin and yang interact to incorporate both in an equal way would result in setting right the current imbalance, offering a true path toward valuing the feminine.

This would result in an elevation of consciousness and the incorporation into leadership, and society, the qualities of compassion, collaboration and unity, all feminine, yin aspects of personality. Many of the answers to the current global dilemmas can be found through a rebalancing of these feminine, yin qualities into feminism. The power of the feminine is best when it is balanced yin and yang, and that which is at the core feminine in nature provides grace, strength, and power to the solutions therein.

Each reader can create change now, by simply resetting his or her internal balance of yin and yang. When you transcend the duality of aggression or victim, you elevate consciousness to include balanced yin and yang. Balanced interaction begets more balance, the shift up is natural and moves instantaneously, it is quantum in nature. Your energy can effect change . Be the change you wish to see in the world. Namaste, in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.

Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships. One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg

May 17, 2014
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Attachment to Ideology versus Attachment in Bonding

You have mirror neurons in your brain that help you connect and feel empathy, uplevelling consciousness blog, 5.15.14. These help you develop connections, feel connected, attached in the Bowlby-an sense (Attachment, John Bowlby, Basic Books, 1969) and belong to society. This is a basic driving force in human development.

But how you develop your connections, how you discern what to do and how to do it is through modeling, through observing your environment so IF your environment is chaotic and skewed you will develop a skew in how you connect, what you perceive as normal, and what you attach to with respect to your group connections, beliefs and values (Bowlby, Holmes, Gineris).

This is how basic marketing, propaganda, and brain-washing work; especially when the information and presentation is intentionally meant to control thinking and actions. The range of manipulation goes from benign to harmful.

With this in mind, the word attachment has two vastly different meanings depending on the context.

Attachment in bonding can free you, assist you in developing a stronger sense of esteem and resilience or strength

Attachment to ideology can numb you and skew your thinking patterns or actions so that you have limited freedom and control.

Understanding the positive effects of attachment in bonding is really important to use the mirror neurons and modeling to create a higher level of consciousness. Bowlby’s work references that attachment is necessary for individualization and interdependence. You move from a dependent relationship to independence to the capacity for interdependence in relationship. (see more also in Turning No to On: The art of Partnering with Mindfulness, Gineris, 2013). This cannot be accomplished without attachment. There is actually a psychiatric behavioral problem called reactive attachment disorder, an excellent 2013 blog re: new DSM 5 criteria for RAD, specifically because being attached is the first step in evolving into an independent whole being able to make connections with others. Attachment in bonding occurs in the first few years of life and if the opportunity is missed, distorted, interrupted, neglectful or traumatic then the capacity for the child to develop a healthy attachment is dramatically affected (negatively). This is similar to imprinting with ducks, there is a time period within the human brain to incorporate this experience of connection and bonding – when it is missed the child may not be able to efficiently develop empathy, and the capacity for connection.

Understanding the negative aspects of attachment in an entirely different context. Being attached to an idea or a specific way in which something should look leads a person down a path of inflexibility, and a lack of a capacity to paradigm shift and collaborate; the person is unable to have an interdependent relationship. The person is actually driven to create this picture and therefore misses the opportunities in relationship and life. Here attachment refers to a perception attachment, attachment in perception or paradigm- an attachment to things looking a certain way or an ideology– rather than the concept of attachment to a significant other in bonding.

Attachment to an idea or perception is something that is cognitive in nature and can be undone. It requires insight. It requires mindfulness and the capacity to paradigm shift. When you look at the picture to the left you may see a duck – or a bunny. What you see has something to do with your attachment to what a duck or bunny look like. If you are strongly attached to one paradigm you may not be able to see the other. This is a tangible example of how attachment to an idea can create conflict, battles, where the conflict doesn’t exist. Both images are there, depending on your orientation. Most arguments are about perception, orientation, and beliefs that are connected to context. Once you can see the other side and see both sides then you can see your attachment and then choose to remain attached or find a middle space in the interaction. (Gineris, 2013)

In parenting the more you can develop a strong resilient healthful attachment with your child the better your child’s ability to create powerful, positive relationships throughout his or her life. For more on how to do that check out the books at the end of this blog.

In relationship the more you can see though your identified attachment to things looking a specific way – which drives you to react habitually in relationships rather than to respond in real time in a mindful way- to mindfully interacting, the better and more fulfilling your relationships can and will be.

When talking about attachment, clarify the context. Strengthen bonding through trustworthy responsiveness to your child. Respond in the moment with an open, mindful mind and loving heart, and your relationships will broaden and strengthen. in love and light, bg

Bowlby, John. Attachment. Basic Books Inc, Publishers: New York, 1969.

Gineris, Beth, Turning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness. Createspace: Charleston, NC, 2011.

Gineris, Beth, Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness. Createspace: Charleston, NC, 2013.

Holmes, Jeremy, Attachment, Intimacy, Autonomy. Jason Aronson, Inc: Northvale, New Jersey, 1996.

(Gesell, Ames, and Ilg – any of their books on child development.)

You can find out more in at http://www.bethgineris.com.

Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in our relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment,Power, Structure). in love and light, bg

May 16, 2014
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

Pushing Yang over Yin energy for power: feminism swirling out of balance, part 2

How feminism went awry.

I perceive men and women to be two aspects to a whole; that masculine and feminine (yang and yin) energy create a wholeness within each being, and together for partnering. As with many species the masculine and feminine aspects of the whole are different due to what roles each take within the milieu of the species, and this also varies for each human. So that men and women, each, are comprised of masculine and feminine aspects, for Jung that is like anima and animus within each man and woman, or from the Taoist and Confucian traditions yang and yin.

Feminism would have been better to focus on the concept of equity. So that if a woman was built such that she could carry a gun and fight in a war she could/would have the opportunity to do so..and be paid equally, and if a woman chose to care for her children enter and leave the workforce, her choices, would be supported and honored by the feminist movement.

Women (and Men) supporting all women’s choices increasing the opportunities that were available to women would have been a more fruitful role of the feminist movement.

Instead the leaders and proponents of feminism created a hierarchy of what was acceptable and honored by feminists. What feminism did was demoralize and put down women who chose to do work that the feminist movement was working against, while uplifting the kind of work that was seen as important (an example of this was the attacks on mrs Romney and mrs bush in the media, and by feminists in general, or at least the complete ignoring of how these women were demoralized by the media– ie: treating mrs Romney like she had no value in her opinion because she had ‘never worked’ because ‘all she did was run the household, and raise four or five children on her own, while her husband was working outside the home’).

This lack of outrage, when women who were choosing to take roles that were not supported by feminist theory were attacked, is a form of control. It is a yang style of controlling the message of what being a strong woman is as well as educating the younger generation of women to direct them into specific action, or be left alone without the support of the group (feminists).

This style of control is yang in nature. And the activities supported by the feminist movement values Yang energy and yang roles (aggressive, and pushing up and out energy) over Yin energy and yin roles (caregiving, creative from within, concretizing and supporting energy). Yang is masculine. Yin is feminine. For balance both are required. Focus on one over another results in imbalance.

This is the masculinization of femininity through feminism -> feminists putting down traditional roles and defining what roles were valuable… Focussing on developing yang aspects of femininity over the yin aspects — therefore making yang more valuable than yin. This has negatively affected the whole balance of the species and society.

I see this most starkly with reference to parenting and to a lesser extent on the arguments for abortion at any time for any reason.

The issue of parenting, childrearing and leading through caregiving and passage of culture to children through childrearing is a most powerful and positive role that had been generally embraced by women. Today’s feminists, and the feminists of the nineties through the millennium, have so aligned with the power potential through the yang aspects of power that they have essentially discarded this role. Some say this is in the effort to get women to be taken seriously in the workforce; others more privately report they remember their mothers were not taken seriously or did not have the freedom and power of their gender counterparts and so these women have simply dissected that role from their repertoire of roles.

If, the Feminist focus was on equally representing the value of parenting, running the home- which is like a CEO of a company- even the vast work involved in the running of the many charities that women who are not working outside the home participate in and develop, then it would have increased the value in childbearing, and the recognition that childrearing imparts the beliefs and values of society —

This is the reason that in countries where women are truly repressed, through control of their bodies, highly limited freedom, and the lack of education, the women are unable to effect a positive role in the upbringing of the children and so unable to create a shift away from the demoralization of women in those countries. In America where women have much more freedom, access to education, and greater choice in how they choose to partner, work and live…and thus the ability to create change as part of a group, (which feminism could have offered to women), we have diminished the importance of education, childrearing, charity work, community work and many yin aspects of negotiation, collaboration, compassion, and finding ways to not compete but to strengthen through collaborative work – valuing all parts of the whole not just the winner/ yang aspect.

Feminism has let whole generations down in the out of control focus on yang energy and the masculinization of the feminine.

The focus on individuality- increasing a women’s ‘power’ to have the same ‘rights’ as a man to be free to do whatever she wants, has left no one to help to create the fabric of community which is often the feminine yin role. And it has most negatively affected yin capacities in the social network… Education childrearing, compassion, collaboration.

Competition, power-over in a hierarchical fashion– ever moving upward – all yang aspects are the stronger focus– and many of the civil rights issues of today (not of the sixties for black Americans) are about being accomplished primarily through the very actions that the victimized group is saying shouldn’t be done… This is not transcending the problem to actually uplevel. That was the beauty of Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi, they transcended the anger and the hatred to connect at the human level. They did not attack the perpetrators, but really acted in the way they were requesting of others to act toward their cause.

This is what feminism could do but not what feminism has done. That’s why I call feminism the masculinization of femininity.

Here is an example of feminism in action, young women ostracizing, dismissing, and labeling – saying on one hand that everyone is welcome, and that tolerance of all was paramount, but their specific actions were to be exclusive and not even allow a young woman to speak, based on a label.

Transcending the problem incorporating yin and yang elements to balance would have resulted in an elevation of consciousness wherein women are not discriminated against nor are children or men. To see how children are being harmed by this course of focus by the feminist movement read part 3 of this series. in love and light, bg

January 5, 2014
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

Living in the Light…be a rebel

Living in the Light is more than being positive.

Living in the Light is knowing that you are loved, knowing that you are protected, knowing that you are in sync with your higher self and higher power goals.

The power to change your world, and by transitive property the world around you, is in your mindset. Your perception of yourself at the center of your world. This is not a narcissistic centeredness, it is a grounded and upleveled understanding that what you experience as truth is what you see.

So if you experience as truth the world is against you and you are a victim, this will be what you identify in all your interactions and therefore, what you will reinforce as truth. You will enhance the energy of lack and being invisible or unappreciated.

However, if you stand in the center of your life, and expect good things to be your experience you will observe miracles all around you. This requires a willingness to eschew fear, ‘what if’, ‘if only’, and anxiety as your experience of the world. It requires an unbounded willingness to see how the world is working on your behalf and have faith in the spiritually upleveled aspects of the world around you. This requires compassion, lovingkindness, and a focus on connection rather than competition. So, when you hear hatefulness spewing from another rather than reacting in hatefulness, you send to that person love and compassion; you allow yourself to hear the pain, fear, or misunderstanding underneath that hate so that you can assist in his or her elevation by simply responding with love and compassion. Remember, a fight can only continue when you punch back. If you do not engage in the fight with reactive hatred or anger, you open the space for understanding, peace, forgiveness and light to enter.

In the animal world, the alpha male and alpha female exert power over the group through competition for limited resources. Often physical strength and creation of alignments push out others and create a space where the alpha exerts control. Today we simultaneously label this bullying and reinforce it with the according of power — this mixed message of it being labeled bad when a little boy or girl is mean but give power to the winner of a very negative political race — makes it so that the societal message is that playing dirty, winning at all costs and bullying is wholly and completely acceptable in fact honored, so that living in the light is actually going against the norm in this current alpha society.

Our political world has used this style of power to control how the population makes decisions about who is to be in power – using whether something is ‘cool’ as a standard of what to follow. The political world, the publicist, the hollywood environment, uses this to market the buying population and focuses on pre-teens, teenagers, young adults, and those who want to be perceived as hip like these youngsters to control power positions, and make money, even controlling the population to make decisions that are not in their individual best interests. Even the world of spirit, and spiritual health has been overrun with this idea of cool, propaganda for profit. Unfortunately this has made it so there are many groups that use this combination of alpha group power and spiritual upleveling in cohesion so that it is cool to be part of some religions but not others rather than encouraging an overall elevation of spiritual interaction and action on the planet. You can see this in how the political arena tries to scapegoat and denigrate certain people for their religious beliefs and uplevel others that will increase their level of cool.

Living in the light is applying a standard of true spirituality, sincere faithful attention with compassion and lovingkindness toward all beings, as each struggles to find his or her place in the world. So that an enlightened approach, to those who see the world differently from yourself, is to have a willingness to understand their paradigm and then look for ways that you and she agree, so that a true and real conversation can be had rather than a power struggle for power in the marketplace.

Love is the great balancer and neutralizer. Lovingkindness and compassion allow you to live in the light in your approach to all human beings, animals, and plants. It is through this method that the earth shall survive. It is though this method that balance can be reset in the natural earth, because it is the beta mentality that is what is needed for the global society and earth balance to happen. The Beta and the Omega look to balance the Alpha, but our political environment has gone too far with the alpha power structure. This hierarchical style cannot contain the global needs of the earth. The beta-mentality looks for connections, is inclusive and accepting. The omega-mentality is playful, diffuses negativity, and creates an environment for letting off steam without reprisal. The alpha-mentality is most useful in third-dimensional thinking of right/wrong, good/bad, and limited resources, when there is danger from without and there is a need for absolute power, however the dependence on this style of leading, solely, has allowed for oppression, divisiveness, out-grouping, and propaganda to the detriment of global societies. This is not to say that the way forward is through the social-democratic, progressive beliefs of socialism or an over-dependence on governments, Unfortunately these policies enhance the use of propaganda and alpha-style mentality; they create a different style of hierarchy, not centered in the light or spirit. Rather than increase the use of true cohesiveness, connectedness, and mindfulness they diminish even further the importance of elevating all and create a different societal structure that will ultimately create an even smaller degree of peace.

Much of my writing is about paradigm shifting and mindfulness as a way of dealing with not only individual, but also small group and large group interactions. These ideas are infused in many religions, many philosophies both east and west and many successful groups. Not one belief system holds the patent on the idea of mindfulness; it part of Taoist, Judeo-Christian, Hindu, Native American and many other religious and philosophical tenets.

To live in the light is to be continually bringing yourself back to neutral and to discover within yourself a positive bent in all that you do so that you are actually shining light onto others and yourself to bring in the beta-mentality of connection and uplevel capacity of the whole group.

Be a rebel. Make a decision today to lighten your perspective,

move into the light in all our perceptions
eschew competition, fear, limitations, and division,
look beneath the powerful emotional arguments of the propaganda and publicity around you, look at what is considered cool, and see if it fits with what actutally uplevels your world, and the society at large
look for, and allow yourself to see, the underlying goal, of the denigration of specific groups, to acqurie political power
use mindfulness, lovingkindness, compassion and the beta or omega mentality in all of your interactions

In this way you will create peace within yourself and experience connection and understanding in your world. Love is the answer. Love is the way.

in love and light, namaste, bg

Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013.

December 11, 2013
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

sleep like a dog for a long life

Hello and Welcome!

This post offers excellent support to increase your healthy balanced living.

Li Ching-Yuen was purported to have lived 256 years in China dying in 1933. When asked the secret to his long life he related his knowledge for longevity in this simple sentence: “Retain a calm heart, sit like a turtle, walk like a pigeon, and sleep like a dog.”

…retain a calm heart may also be translated to maintain a tranquil mind… this is a direct reference to meditation. Over the years many studies have shown the deep and abiding benefits of meditation; showing that focused mindful meditation helps with maintaining healthy brain function and cardiovascular function. Meditation increases resilience to stress.

...sit like a turtle is a reference to stillness, being still, allowing stillness without distraction and without multitasking…this allows for the fullness of each experience and allows for rejuvenation…there is significant evidence that the amount of stimuli requiring attention or the amount of multitasking required by americans leads to stress and allostatic overload. Creating stillness increases space for rejuvenation and a return to balance.

…walk like a pigeon, also translated as walking quickly or sprightly, this referenced moving rhythmically and frequently. This seems to keep the body, heart and mind activated and attentive without a sense of hyperactivity. Activity with rest is the most balanced style of physical development and health.

…sleep like a dog…this is indeed my favorite as it references the importance of not holding onto anything that causes anxiety, releasing unforgiveness, allowing past to be past and being in the now…conserving energy and embracing the importance of deep and fulfilling sleep…healthy in-balanced dogs take frequent naps when there is a lull in activity and then awake refreshed ready to pounce on the day or evening.

When you focus on living in a healthful, balanced fashion you increase your lifespan and decrease the negative effects of aging. Living out of balance shortens your lifespan.

In a time when there is debate about health insurance and the issue of accessibility it is important to see through the propaganda to truth.Health insurance doesn’t precisely increase accessibility. Healthcare is not health insurance. In order to increase accessibility, many shifts are required.

You can sidestep this problem, if you are currently healthy or moderately out of balance, by increasing your balanced practice in living.

Consider the issues of spirit, body, and mind. (You may also read this series of articles on shifting your attitude, connecting to your spirit, and balancing your life, to develop your 4×4 Habits to Health.)

How are you increasing your risk for imbalance and need for health care? Ask yourself these questions.

Do you have difficulty sleeping? Do you awaken after a full nights sleep and feel unrested?
Do you feel sluggish? Do you have an ongoing sense of fatigue?
Do you have trouble exercising either due to a lack of energy or pain?
Do you have chronic pain?
Do you have a pervasive sense of uneasiness or anxiety?
Do you feel overwhelmed with your tasks and responsibilities?
Do you feel you overeat, or drink alcohol, or use drugs to deal with your stress level?
Do you feel isolated? Or do you feel too much responsibility for those for whom you care?
Do you eat food you know is not good for you because you are too busy to make good food? Or do you eat food that is not good for you because you have to eat quickly and on schedule?
Are you overweight and find you cannot seem to drop the weight even when you try?
Do you have unresolved anger or unforgiveness regarding earlier injuries, losses, or relationship issues?
Do you feel bereft spiritually?
Do you feel apathetic?
Do you feel angry, and short-tempered more than 30 % of your waking time?

If you get more than half answers in the positive, your life is out of balance. This kind of imbalance can lead to heart disease, increased bad cholesterol, increased levels of glucose, increased levels of cortisol, decreased energy, difficulties with sleep and the overall regenerative processes built into your integrated spirit, mind and body processes, and a more rapid aging process. To make the necessary shifts in your habits of living, begin with the above mantra. You can start today!

Up to now, the western medical program in the US has been to enable Americans to behave in an unbalanced way and then get treatment for their bad behavior, calling this health care treatment. Now that we are moving into a socialized medicine program, this will begin to diminish. less and less will unbalanced, unhealthy behavior be supported through medical treatment. This is because the cost to do so is very high.

As you look over the last 120 years there is an interesting observation of overindulgence, then abstinence with the pendulum swinging toward each end in succession. Letting go and partying then pulling in and recuperating. The ground for this warfare being your body. When lifespans were closer to fifty years rather than one hundred years, this overindulgence only shortened a person’s life slightly. Now, individuals who want to live longer will have to live healthier more balanced lifestyles to have their bodies be working efficiently at the end of their lives.

“Retain a calm heart, sit like a turtle, walk like a pigeon, and sleep like a dog.” OR

Change your attitude, Heal your spirit, Balance your life… if you want to find a deeper practice or just want support in finding your way to balance, you can contact me at my website for more intensive coaching or other great resource material, www.bethgineris.com…in love and light, bg

photo of two dogs sleeping: Lisa Aldon

Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013.

August 9, 2013
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

Change the Status Quo; Refrain from polarity; uplevel to see multidimensionally at once

Hello! Welcome. Thank you for being here.

There has been a lot of chatter about the need to change the status quo and that the stars are aligned to break up structures and patterns that are disharmonious for our culture and planet.

Often this is applied to the concept of capitalism and laid at the feet of white people who allowed, even empowered racism and slavery, and corporate culture that focuses on ever-increasing greed. Fair enough those entities have indeed powered a materialistic, consumer-focused, over-emphasis on ever-expanding Yang energy.

Here is something to think about:

Since the 1960’s there has been energetic and social revolution grounded in the speeches and actions of Martin Luther King, jr and others, and the words of Mahatma Gandhi, and rightly so -> the change that exploded in the sixties toward peace and loving energy is positive and has had effect and is growing.
On a broader level, this has been in play far longer. The shift toward masculine or yang energy and away from feminine or yin energy has been an ongoing transfer over many years – seen in earlier cultures 2000 to 5000 plus years ago…and is directly related to the empowerment of all things masculine, and yang in energy to the exclusion of all things feminine and yin in energy. There have been periods of teachings that described the spiral form and importance of balance between yin and yang – think Taoism. Currently the focus is the ever-upward phallic growth to the exclusion of lateral and internal growth, so that the focus is on me, me, me, me rather than we and this is culminating in the problems of the current time; paradoxically, this is another offshoot of the explosive sixties.
In addition there is a corrupt, misleading component of divisiveness and misdirection. Rather than embracing the spirit of the previous guides of MLK and Gandhi or even JC and Buddha there is a second level of Yang misdirection that belies the positive advances of our culture and enhances the ongoing materialism, consumerism, and lack of cooperation, care, compassion, and Yin energy. Encouraging constant blame mongering, victimization-excuse and deflection of personal responsibility for one’s personal actions toward self and others, even rewarding ‘bad-boy/bad-girl’ behavior through the exaltation of how cool it is to buck authority and to win read beat out the other side (polarity); it is focused on limited resource third dimensional belief systems that pit me against you and are devoid of the concept of we.

My question is this: what if the status quo pattern that needs to be addressed isn’t the fifties but rather the energy of the sixties, seventies, and nineties (me, me, me, materialism, power)- something that is tearing apart families, cementing the crevasse and divides between racial groups, men and women, gays and straights, rich and poor, and doing all of this under the guise of what is cool and misrepresenting for the purpose of gaining more yang power.

What if it is this idea of polarity: have and have-nots; what if it is the belief set forth by Karl Marx about the owners of the means to production and the workers and the rights of the working class. What if what was described by this man, who defined the economic problem of his german society, were absolutely accurate for his paradigmatic perception of the space/time/world in which he lived but that his solution was misguided derived from the very thing he was attempting to correct: simply changing the poles and NOT actually helpful today. Unlike the information received from other thinkers that defines how to quantum shift these poles, to integrate and balance relationships – Gandhi, MLK, JC, and Buddha quantum, upleveling space/time shift response to an ongoing adversarial power battle – to actually shift the energetic and physical response to the dilemma.

What if the belief in that status quo is the thing that needs to be transmuted… the belief in the limited resource, you against me, is the status quo that needs to be transmuted or paradigmatically evolved, rather than who is the have and have-not in the equation? Shifting into an actually new perspective (not leaning forward linearly or hierarchically but quantum paradigmatic upleveling) a more inclusive and multidimensional equation must be how the situation is analysed; and the response be akin to moving from a me to we-style of relating. Then the answer in this new paradigmatic shift in which we are living is not between the two sides that keep popping up in these divisive debates but rather a conversation about how to acknowledge and integrate two sides together to make sense out of OUR world TOGETHER. Our world containing two (plus) partners, our world inclusive of rich and poor, our world embracing and finding upleveled solutions within varying degrees of politics and paradigms, our world shifting have and have-nots into a we.…OUR world in our little personal lives and the big public space of our global home.

I invite all my friends in the healing fields, in the religious fields, and in the position of authority whom are placing blame at the culture of the fifties or some other, in light of the culture of the sixties, seventies, nineties and millenniums …I hold these friends (and enemies) of mine, in a bubble of lovingkindness, gratitude, forgiveness, and compassion; I hold their feet to the fire with mine to LET GO of the fight they and I thought we had, and to embrace a new perspective where we ALL are on the same side against the imbalance in our culture and we ALL bring valuable perspective that requires integration and balance of Yang with Yin, within a non-limited resource perspective, rather a holistic perspective that allows us all to uplevel together.

We must move out of Me/you, I only, into WE in our perspectives and interactions, Out of dependency and independency into Interdependency, Away from Narcissistic –taking without giving, Or dependence creating of giving without taking; Away from competitive independent I need only to take care of myself in a WE style of relating that makes room for every one to be valuable and that values ALL the aspects of society – mothering, caregiving, cleaning, security, growth promotion and balances out the way in which talents are made visible and compensated. Actors, Politicians, Musicians, Sport Celebrities, entertainers of all sorts, and the various participants in marketing and publicity, and corporatism unbalancedly gather an excess of the nutrition of our society: money – while caregivers, motherers, teachers, counselors, healers, cleaners, do-gooders of all sorts, and security people receive too little. This imbalance feeds the polarity and the negative paradigm that drives our culture.

The we includes valuing all roles not just those seen from a hierarchical yang perspective as best and highest. Finding your true purpose, embracing your true talent, living in right labor, right relationship, right balance so that you are part of the whole, the we, that is what I hope for all of us. And this means to disarm the status tied to the hierarchical structures present in our society. The Marxian perspective simply changes poles it keeps the status quo operating… relieving ourselves of the status quo in ALL its forms is what will bring a upleveling of consciousness and balance.

Pay attention to the propaganda all around you – you may be betraying yourself or those you love without knowing it. Just because you like someone doesn’t mean they are saying something that is true. Don’t swallow whole the words of your heroes – mindfully discern for yourself the fullness of what they are saying and then choose to act from your heart center.
There are small truths and Universal Truths – Currently some of the small truths are lying about the universal truths.
Look to see what status quo you are holding onto that needs to be transmuted – forget about the talking-heads on both sides, refrain from polarity, listen to your heart, listen with your heart and your mindful space. Then make a change in your beliefs and your actions to embrace a better more inclusive, holistic space.

One of my favorite mantras is: he who throws the second punch starts the fight – without the agreement of the second punch no fight is possible….defensive action is best followed in the way of the peaceful warrior: let the first punch go by, walk away from a fight if you are able, use the art of aikido and the art of verbal and cognitive aikido to deflect, deflate and define… BE a faithful true being of peace – avoid writing hateful things about those you perceive on the other side of an argument. Live in the middle space, walk in the middle way, look for how you and your enemy agree and create a time/space continuum that uplevels all.

Namaste, In love and light, Beth

June 6, 2013
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

mindfulness and parenting revisited

Hello and Welcome

Negotiating the treacherous waters of parenting can be anxiety provoking and discouraging.

This results from both internal insecurity and external unpredictability.

Three steps will keep you in the flow and having fun as you reclaim the role of mama/papa/leader.

Step 1. Strengthen your connection to your personal sensory guidance system. This is the connection to the information freeway from your five senses and your intuition. This is information about your environment, your child, and others that assists you in making thoughtful decisions. Step 2. Trust your knowing of your child. Listen to him or her – listen with your ears, your heart, and your sensory guidance system. Step 3. Guide with strength and lovingkindness. Be self-confident and go with the flow. Be patient, kind, and firm. Say I am sorry, and make efforts to shift your responses to best meet you child’s needs. Model respect and trust by being respectful and trustworthy. In all your disciplinary responses focus on learning and loving; be loving and sensitive to the multi-level issues involved, respond quickly and clearly, and use the opportunity to teach joy and strength in being a responsible person; an individual connected to a community.

To help you embrace the three steps, understanding the nature of the parenting is key.

Parenting is modeled.
This means that you learn how to parent from your interpretation of your own parenting. This concept of learning social interactions through your group associations is a function of how the human brain develops over the first 24 years of life; and a part of what happens whenever you enter a new social group, environment.
What you see done is what you incorporate into doing to others and to yourself; as you age the internalized reflection of yourself becomes solidified. Once you are into middle age the malleability of your reflection, your internalized sel-persona/picture requires a release of the accepted self and a reevaluation of ‘who you are’… due to the solidified nature of your introjected self, often this requires a traumatic event to shift your internal accepted picture of self.
There is a strong desire to be accepted and approved of by your significant others (beginning with moms and dads, and then moving on to peers).
You know who you are and how you should be treated, what you perceive as your role in relationship, from what is reflected to you by your parents, your primary caregivers, and your first social groups –> your siblings and cousins, and then your peers, friends.
So, if there is dysfunction or trauma or damage in those early relationships you have deficits in your ability to navigate the waters of parenting your children.

Cognitive/behavioral therapy, meditation, yoga, and mindfulness development uplevel your consciousness so that you can shift and rebalance your inner self perception and your outer actions.

Trust, be trustworthy, act with strength and kindness, be forgiving and persevering.

As you guide, be willing to incorporate new information about your child or your beliefs and make adjustments to your course to align your actions, beliefs/values, and your parenting.

Parenting is a dynamic, organic (as in living and responsive to environmental changes) process.

Be confident, proactive, reflective, flexible, and trustworthy in your actions and intentions.
Be willing to adjust your response and be flexible as you see the need to do so and be firm when you perceive this is important.
Respond with seriousness to serious problems, and playfulness with problems which are not serious; stay responsive and discern the difference. in love and light, bg

February 22, 2013
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

11. T’ai, Peace, I ching: as a Guiding Source of Turning Me to We

Peace comes from receptivity driving creativity – mind following heart:

11.T’ai. Peace, I Ching.

K’un(receptive) above, ch’ien creative) below

…Great approaches. Good fortune. Success.The image: Heaven and earth unite: the image of PEACE. Thus the ruler divides and completes the course of heaven and earth; he furthers and regulates the gifts of heaven and earth, and so aids the people. Wilhelm/Baynes, 3rd edition (1959, 1967, 1971)

The concept of heart guiding focus is a part of mindfulness, Taoism, Buddhism, and Christianity. The implication of the treatise to do the right thing as guided by god is a part of the Jewish, Islamic and Hindu traditions. The threads of rightness as proclaimed from the unification of earth and heaven, human and spirit, with the guidance of rightness from ones heart (spirit) rather than ones mind allows for ‘peace on earth as it is in heaven’.

Cues to the many threads of agreement are found throughout religious and spiritual texts if your willingness to look for agreement (collaboration and connection) overrides your desire to be right (competition and narcissism).

In order for Peace to be the defining force among humans, the consciousness of rightness must shift out of an adversarial Alpha-style of civilization to a Beta-style of collaboration. This is the effect of Turning Me (driven by competition and narcissism) to We (focused through collaboration and connection); rightness from a dualistic perspective, Kohlberg shifting to rightness from a holistic perspective of inclusion and care, Gilligan.

It is predicted throughout time by philosophers of various beliefs and in varied social-spiritual texts that to unite human and spirit, have the mind create what is known as truth in the heart. Mindful partnering is the way of upleveling consciousness and living in the light of universal spirit on the earth-plane so that all beings are upleveled together. The resultant style of interaction among spirit-humans is Peace.

This heart focused style of relating comes out of connecting and unifying rather than dissecting and dividing. The means of how you get to Peace matters; a means that follows mind without heart, leads to destruction rather than unification of heaven and earth, even if the intent of the actor is that of Peace. This mind separated from heart style is human thinking separated from spiritual truth. Non-violent actions and words lead to the opportunity to create unity, connection and put heart (spirit) in the driving seat. Violent words and actions, even toward an idealized goal or belief system, separate heart and mind and put mind in the driver’s seat.

The way to higher consciousness-living now, follows the I Ching hexagram 11. T’ai – Peace, receptive above and creative below. In every action let your heart lead; let your mind create what your heart (spirit) desires and knows as truth; see the other as yourself and your heart will be your guiding light in action. in love and light, beth

January 5, 2013
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

12.21.12 renewal and transformation, Taoism, and the Avatamsaka-sutra

Hello dear friends.

I have been doing some research on Taoist principles for a new book and I have found some amazing, powerfully enlightening information.

Taoism perceives that the originators of civilization itself are people of higher knowledge attained through extradimensional awareness … all successful original cultures are initiated and guided by people in contact with the Tao or Universal law. Thomas Cleary

It is Cleary’s contention that from this Taoist vision, “Taoism is not, as usually thought, a product of Chinese civilization. Rather it is the other way about – Chinese civilization was originally the product of Taoism in the sense that like all successful original cultures it was initiated and guided by people in contact with the Tao or universal law.“(The Book of Balance and Harmony, Cleary, 1989) What a powerful concept and a perfect focus for renewal and transformation.

Thomas Cleary in his book of the translation of The Book of Balance and Harmony (1989) identifies that the Taoist movement called the Complete Reality movement was created to distinguish a practical understanding of Taoism as it had been lost over time. Cleary writes that ” ironically, one of the most comprehensive descriptions of Taoism … can be found in a Buddhist text, the Avatamsaka-sutra or Flower Ornament Scripture,” which he said is “held to contain the totality of all religion:”

The various methods and techniques of the enlightened adept to worldly conditions in order to liberate people. The enlightened provoke deep faith by being in the world yet unaffected by it, just as the lotus grows in water yet water does not adhere to the lotus.

With extraordinary thoughts and profound talent, as cultural leaders, like magicians the enlightened manifest all the various arts and crafts of the world, like song and dance, and conversation admired by the people.

Some become grandees, city elders; some become merchants, caravan leaders. Some become physicians and scientists, some become kings and officials….. All-sided goodness abides by reality, not in a country. Cleary, The Flower Ornament Scripture

What I love about this is how it gives a prescription for how to live in these times.

It is about how to trust your inner knowing, your internal guidance sensory system and connect to a higher wisdom and light so that you can identify and act from a universal law or truth rather than propaganda or third dimensional pulls toward power over others to feel successful.

The ebb and flow of nature and the return to balance is the way. Living in that way, guiding your actions to be in connection to that is the highest form of instinctive medicine, balance, and harmony.

Focus on what is and the light allows that to be what is produced or created, rather than a disconnection from self, an embracement of self in harmony.

One way to find your way back to balance is to pay attention to where you feel discomfort and that can give you a clue to where you are out of balance.
You may also feel, hear as another speaks or the world shifts to attend to a lack of congruence or harmony. This is the best way to avoid following propaganda rather than the truth.

Trusting yourself, your internal sensory guidance system includes intuition and connection to extradimensional experience through mediation, visualization, and dreamwork.

Let love and your heart center be your primary, strongest guide. Through this pathway you may find renewal and transformation in this new time of higher light and higher consciousness.in love and light bg

December 20, 2012
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 2 Comments

3 steps to forgiveness

Hello and welcome

Forgiveness is required to release anger and move through any difficult situation. The energy of forgiveness comes from a balanced mindful perspective that is heart centered. Practicing mindfulness increases your openness and your awareness allowing your mind to hear the calling of your heart.

When you are stuck in your thinking process you may find that you get into a loop about the different aspects of a problem or conflict. This loop is driven by the left brain analytical aspect of your brain. The right brain aspect of your brain receives information in wholes, it gets imprints of information – spirit mind and body integrated.

Both aspects of your brain are beneficial in sorting through problems. The left brain, verbal and analytical aspect that separates and evaluates in a more tangible fashion is necessary for movement through complex problems and conflicts. It gets to the figure issue of the problem. The Right brain, image, whole, and energy evaluator is necessary for getting to the background and interconnections that can allow for transition or transformation.

The key is to allow for your understanding, empathy, and big picture connection to inform your analytical specificity evaluator. This directs you to see through a mindful, compassionate, integrated perspective so that you can release the dualistic right/wrong style of consciousness. This shifts the power of the injury or anger and helps you align with your internal sensory guidance system.

Three steps move you through to forgiveness.

Allow the fullness of the pain and injury, anger and trauma to be experienced. Do not skip to forgiveness, feel the pain. Do not stuff down the pain or the shock. This release is important and necessary. Make this a finite thing, not something that goes on and on or becomes a way of life. Utilize writing, talking, and creative artistic measures to get to the injury and clarify your experience. Note what verbal and cognitive equations that begin to develop, ie: a sense that you will never trust again, never love again, never have another child, never go through this again. This will give you a clue as to what habit reaction pattern you may be setting up and a direction about what you need to forgive. the issue is usually very subtle, not the whole injury just some piece that shocked your system.
Create a space to dialogue (if this is possible) with the injurer. Identify how you participated in the conflict so that you can shift yourself and your action in the future. Look at the situation from a larger view and from the perspective of the other person – notice if he was operating under a different paradigm than you and if you can shift the misunderstanding through dialogue or negotiation. If the injury is without another side or perspective look for what good, light, beautiful outcomes came out of the situation; this is most difficult when there is a loss of someone you love through no fault of your own or his. Still focus on the light will help to move you through to forgiveness and the uplevel your consciousness. This is where allowing your heart to lead and connecting with your right brain imprint, memories, and wholes to help you to have access to the light. you can do this through creative maneuvers, painting, drawing, music, building – these are all powerful tools to get to your inner healing and inner knowing.
Set a time to let go of the injury. Also use this third step to identify a holistic,. balanced picture of you without the injury and moving joyously through life. Do this is a concrete way. You can use writing or a picture. Take the information in a tangible form and release it through burning it. Do this in a safe and contained way. Then allow yourself to take the created future that you identified and burn that into existence. You may find you want to create a structure or an image of what you are releasing and what you are bringing in to remind you to remain in forgiveness. You can use these a cues to remind you to live in the now and the light.

Forgiveness is essential for health. Holding onto an injury distorts your perspective, skews the energy in your integrated spirit, mind, body field and can over time create stagnation, disruption and disease. Letting go, releasing the injury or anger and incorporating a higher consciousness understanding regarding the situation heals and rights your imbalance. This can reset your energy field so that you promote health rather than stagnation and misdirection.

Joy. Light. Love. These are the tools of your heart and lead the way to uplevel your consciousness, integrate you spirit, mind, and body and through these tools you can change the world around you through changing the world within you. in love and light, bg

InstinctiveHealthParenting4U

Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.

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