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Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.


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4×4 Habits 2 Health, Week 4, Connect Spirit to Mind

You started with intention, created a map, then began to breathe.
These are the first steps in in re-visioning Spirit and Mind to shift your perspective and health habits.

This week is about attending to the connection of spirit and mind via the breath and concretizing the new vision in your daily actions/habits.

  • Find your paper that has your personal narrative of intentions.
  • Re-view your words – are they representative of your intentions three weeks later?
  • make adjustments, additions, and clarifications.

Find you picture map, what is attractive to you about it today? See it both from a figurative and holistic perspective – figure and ground connecting spirit and mind.

Look into the mirror and view your physical self.

  • First you will focus on the negatives, things you do not like about yourself.
  • Jot these down,
  • now return with compassion and love to your image in the mirror.
  • be grateful for what is there both the parts you wish to change and those you like when you view them.
  • Make an effort to shine love on your self through this process. So if you are unhappy about extra pounds then see how these represent something good. Perhaps you still carry weight from the joy of carrying your child and you can be thankful for those pounds while you simultaneously determine it is time to release them.
  • Or if you see lines between your brows consider what that represents, perhaps a strength of thinking skills and focus, be grateful for your capacity to focus so directly and then you may determine you desire to shift your habits to include play and relaxation in balance.  This blog from back in 2010, really gets to the heart of this, please check it out to help you focus on seeing the good in bad…or emphasizing the positive, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/09/14/how-you-face-the-day-is-how-it-faces-you-back/ .


How you see yourself matters.
Consider compassionately responding to the aspects of your physical being that you find repulsive.

Next, Shift this to your behaviors and words.

  • Consider how you came to develop the behavior that you desire to release.
  • Be grateful for the way in which it has positively served you ,
  • and then you may make a decision to release that patterning.

In this moment you are free to make a deeper shift in your intentions to connect your spirit and mind in an integrated narrative, picture map. You can achieve this by creating a second map that incorporates a fuller picture of your new view OR you may connect the narrative and map you have by putting them onto a paper together, including our new insights from the work in the mirror.

(This process is one you may want to do several times a year to reset your goals and return to your center.)

Place the map and narrative in a place where you frequently pass by it throughout the day.

  • Each time you pass it,
  • stop,
  • view it fully.  
  • Breathing in and breathing out.
  • Creating a space within yourself for the images and words to infuse you with peace, will, strength, and joy to create your new habits to health.

You are transforming yourself from the inside out.  Habits develop through repetition or an immediate reward for a behavior.  So practice and be kind to yourself as you are making these changes. You can check out this earlier blog for more support https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2012/07/06/visioning-anew-developing-your-allowing-muscles/ .  You may also want to read this blog for emotional support https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2013/01/24/two-parables-your-life-is-what-you-make-it/ .

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg

 


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4×4 Habits 2 Health, week 3 Create Space for Breath

Breathing in Breathing out..
Seems simple enough, right?
True we are all breathing in and out right now.
To Create Space for Breath has more to do with conscious breathingInspiration and Letting go of that which does not serve…not only from a physical point of view, spiritually, and emotionally, too.

Practice this right now.
Take a deep breath. What happened – did your chest expand? Great.
Now take a breath in and think about breathing deep into your lower lungs, so deep that your belly expands out… Great!
Now, what do you notice is different between your chest expanding breath and your belly expanding breath?
Write down the differences…describe whether you feel your heart rate increase or decrease; whether you feel more or less relaxed; whether you feel a deeper sense of calm or a readiness to react; describe which allows a focus on your external or internal environment.

Okay. Now that you have your own personal experience on paper you can consciously practice the type of breathing you feel brings you to your center, increases your awareness of your internal sensory guidance system, releases anxiety, and readies you to respond mindfully.

Mindful breathing can help you discern what is you and what belongs to another.  Check out this post for more detailed information about the power of discernment and conscious breathing,  https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/02/09/centering-and-breath-focus-on-connection/ .  Another post that really describes the flow of energy through breathing and ways to dispel left-over negative energy in your body is this blog, from March 2010 and reblogged last year, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/03/11/energy-breath-and-balance/

Why focused breathing? Because it puts you back into the driver seat of your life.

Shallow, automatic breathing actually keeps you disconnected from the now.  Focused, conscious, mindful breathing brings you back into the center of your being; it allows you to choose How you want to Be in the world; How you want to respond in a given situation. By centering you in the now, you are able to discern what you want to keep in our life and what you want to release.  It cuts through anxiety and fear to a quiet inner locus of control that allows your personal sensory guidance system (your five senses and intuition) to guide you through any labyrinth.  You may look at this recent blog for even more information about the relationship between will and breath, https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/07/18/the-space-between-mindful-breathing-and-will-staying-within-the-threshold-of-calm-strength/ .

And for any of you healers out there, this is my favorite blog about the importance of stillness, breath, and being a healer,  https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2012/02/14/focus-your-energy-and-breathe/ .  Breath allows you to focus your energy and create the space for healing, yours as well as other’s.

As part of your 4×4 Habits 2 Health, Breath is one of the powerful keys to changing your world; to change you from the inside out.

Yoga can be a powerful tool to increasing your positive relationship with breath and your body.

Choosing to create space for breath includes creating the Habit of breathing through your fear, your anxiety,  your stress.

Begin each day with three deep relaxing, belly expanding breaths.  You may follow this with a more entailed breathing in and breathing out session for five minutes (if you do this remember to make your inhalation shorter than your exhalation, so breathing in for a count of 3 and breathing out for a count of 5)  Or 9 sets of Sun Salutation A, see this blog for how to do that: http://www.yogitimes.com/article/re-balance-healing-healer-life.

OR through a sound toning and breathing session, see this blog for how to do that: https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/05/06/sound-healing-2-feel-the-vibration-allow-the-shift-elevate-your-consciousness/ .

Create the space to breathe and you will notice a whole new way of being in your life. Apply this to the map you have already created to focus your energy even further and create healthy habits NOW. breathing in love and light, sending it your way, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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4×4 Habits 2 Health, Create a map

Take the time today and over the next seven days to envision a picture of health.  This is the foundation of what you desire to create.  Include in this picture a multidimensional perspective of your self.

What a re you looking for?

  • Better, more healing relationships?
  • A healthier relationship to food, your body, your spiritual connection?
  • A way to navigate your multitasking life, or overwhelming commitments?
  • A way to manage anxiety and stress?
  • An increase in vitality both mentally and physically?

photoTake an hour ( or two) to create the picture with words or a collage. You may use your personal creative skills of drawing or painting or picture cut out of magazines to design your visual prompt.

collage inspirationYou can use the collage of words and pictures as a source or map from which you can draw support and reaffirm your goals.

Once you have completed this visual aid, set up a morning and evening ten minute time to reset you commitment to your goals.  Sit in a quiet place and view the picture, then close your eyes and breathe…  Breathing in and breathing out for three to five minutes. While you are doing this you may identify more information about what you may what to accomplish.  Write this down and then return to your breathing.

Over the course of the next seven days you may add this information to your visual aid.

Do this for ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes in the evening.

Over the course of the next seven days, increase your awareness of what you feel is or is not working in your life – or what you desire to shift.  You may add this to your map/visual aid.

In addition, you may want to practice 9 sun salutations per morning to assist you in centering and returning to breath.  Here is an article with visuals to assist you in creating this practice.  http://www.yogitimes.com/article/re-balance-healing-healer-life

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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Smile

Getting prepped for the Thanksgiving Holiday?

Whether you will be embracing the holiday with friends and family or alone, Here are some tips to help:

Think SMILE:  Spirit, Mind, Intention, aLignment, and Energy

Holidays can be stressful on your spirit, mind, body and community connections.

A little stress is fine, you can think of how it helps you stretch yourself and push the boundaries of your life and living habits.  But too much stress is harmful, it can lead to inflammation, anxiety, wear and tear on your spirit, attitude, and physical self.

Humans experience stress by hunkering down, pulling in, holding in tense muscles and releasing cortisol.  This is all good if you are faced with a situation that requires immediate reactive attention and action.  But it’s important to then move through that event to recovery and reset…homeostasis, return to balance.

This is a normal aspect of how your integrated physical/emotional/spiritual body works….sympathetic nervous system is the action system in your integrated self and the parasympathetic nervous system is the regenerative system of you integrated self.

Holidays give the promise of regeneration, connection, and gratitude…but often the reality is STRESS…feeling disconnected, running around to make things work, and/or intense feeling of loss or lack for those are not in the situation to be with community.  The last part of this has to do with the basic human empathic drive to connect.  This drive to connect is not just emotional it is hard-wired into your brain through mirror neurons.  Mindful meditation assists in increasing empathy and altruism as part of how your brain works.  Of course having a willingness to simply breathe, meditate and refocus is a great way to deal with stress.  But for any of you who need some tricks to get yourself there, here are some great ideas.

SMILE is a way to help yourself. Not only is the action of smiling releasing of positive chemicals in your brain it also has a relaxing effect on your muscles.  Next, after you smile remember to breathe deeply into your solar plexus…this also causes a deep sense of relaxation and triggers the positive effects of the parasympathetic nervous system.

Have on hand the following helpful Brain foods, spices, smells, and tastes….

Brain foods...Walnuts, pecans, eggs, kidney beans, white beans, ( these food have positive effects on your brain neurotransmitters and strengthen the plasticity of your brain – that’s what helps with memory and learning) ( also these foods have important amino proteins that help strengthen the cortex of your brain) Cacao (that’s right dark chocolate treats anxiety by calming our heart), coffee ( the coffee bean has positive antioxidant and health benefits for brain and heart activity – careful on the amount, stay at 2 cups a day), cauliflower, broccoli, and dark colored berries (blueberries, cherries, raspberries) as well as the amazing energizing, immune strengthening food, goji berries… and wonderful avocado, the best kind of fat necessary to really keep your blood vessels going and your brain working.

Spices…Cinnamon (calms your spirit while energizing your body…balances blood sugar, eases digestion), Licorice (licorice bark, fennel, anise) licorice calms your heart – actually slows your heart pulse, and eases digestion for those upcoming heavy meals, Clove, ( energizes and balances – it has a synergistic effect on your spirit mind and body – which results in a sense of peace, and use these Smells to further positively effect your integrated energetic system.

Tastes..Citrus has an immediate effect on mood..Lemon, and Lime help to diffuse anger; Orange and Bergamot are anti-depressant; peppermint opens the nasal passages and the lungs, oregano helps to balance the internal digestive system.  Clove, frankincense , vanilla, lavender, all, reset and balance deeper levels of dissonance, sadness, grief and loneliness, anxiety and heart injury. These work best both from a taste and scent perspective.

So using these foods as medicine helps you to set the stage for the returning to balance and get your parasympathetic nervous system to engage and shift your energy.

SMILE is a perfect acronym for this – the action reminds you to focus on the attitude of gratitude.

Try these these three things:

  • Pay attention to what is working in your life, rather than what isn’t working…Rather than continuing to pile-on exterior examples of how the world is against you – consider the things that are working in your life…this action helps you focus on the WHOLE of your life and so diminishes the negative effect of your life stressors and increases the positive effect of your life’s benefits.
  • Focus on what you want rather than what you fear..this is a way to reset where your power is- attend to what you have control over and put your energy into that rather than worrying about the events or possibilities that might happen or that you have no control over changing…this is a locus of control concept and resets your locus (place) of control into your internal center.  The result is empowered action and inner strength.
  • Change have to Be… If you want to have something in your relationship, be that.  This is the power of modeling and increasing your internal empowerment and focus on what is working…Gandhi’s:  BE the change you wish to see in the world.

The idea of shifting your perspective to gratitude, is the intention behind the idea of Thanksgiving, when this intention is lost in the activity of making it perfect or feeling like you have nothing to be thankful for, Smile can assist you to shift your perspective.

Smile:  Spirit, Mind, Intention, aLignment, and Energy

Spirit:  reconnect to your heart’s joy through these foods, spices, smells, and tastes..

Mind:  Shift your attitude to where you actually have power, engage compassion, forgiveness, and perspective shifting.

Intention:  reset to your parasympathetic nervous system, slow down and rest what you really want to accomplish- what your goal is for the holiday — the attitude of gratitude.

aLignment:  reorder your priority to what you want not what you fear – to what is working  – what you are grateful for – to where you have power… Ie: if you burn the turkey – you are still all together – so maybe you are having a vegetarian thanksgiving…the old make lemonade out of lemons rather than stressing about approval and perfection.

Energy:  get out and move, make sure you sleep, release and let go of historical grudges – forgive, (if the action is something that disallows you from seeing the person – this is a reasonable choice -> it is the holding on that I am suggesting you release – it happened, it changed you or the other person or your relationship – accept that fact, and then release the anger, fear, and negativity so that it can be placed into your history and not create stress or disease in the now).

Smile.  It is a gift to yourself and a gift to those with whom you interact.  It is a flower that can uplevel your and other’s consciousness.  Smile gratitude, forgiveness, rejuvenate, return to balance. These are good preps to having a Happy Thanksgiving and a positive experience in the coming holidays. in love and light, bg

Check out these videos on Krqe.com in April 2014 and November 2014

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2015 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover how your worldview works to your benefit or detriment, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

 

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg

 

 


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money grows on trees…

I wanted to share a positive message about how the universe can and does respond to intention and attention.

My daughter wanted to go to the St James Tearoom.
It’s a fancy luncheon place that serves old-fashioned tea sandwiches dressed in cream cheese, cucumbers and flowers, with biscuits and clotted cream.
It is one of her favorite things to do.
She wanted to go with her dad and he rescheduled his afternoon patients just to take her.

He knows how fast children grow up. he remembers the day his son preferred the company of his friends to him, and he just wasn’t ready for that yet with this one…not yet.

Granted we have been lucky, our son stayed close by through college to really eek out the last bits of play with my husband and me. But it is still hard to let go. To see them grow. To watch them do precisely what we are teaching them to do — become their best self and have full and happy adventures in far away places…

It was a beautiful afternoon, a slight breeze in the air. As they were getting out of the car my daughter noticed something in the drain by the curb…she ran over to it and with her most precious smile presented to her dad a hundred dollar bill.

She was delighted. He was dumbfounded.

She had been saving for something special. And now she had found a hundred dollar bill. She felt very lucky. She was. She had a lovely tea and enjoyed all the festivities. When their time was up she took home her uneaten desserts and her special find.

The power of this story is exemplified in her simple belief that the world will provide that which she needs, without question.

Esther Hicks/Abraham encourage each of us to simply ‘ask and it is given'(Hicks, 2004). The Law of Attraction as she calls the energetic law of the universe referencing that what you attend to, what you put your energy into is what you will receive.  When you find yourself stuck it is a result of you simultaneously putting energy into releasing  something that no longer has value while also holding to it.  You allow fear to have a voice as loud as faith.  When this happens the energy of both are sent your way and your resulting experience is a lack of movement, or no change.

I see this often when I work with couples.  Each party is holding to resentments, or habits, or fears while also saying he or she desires to release it and move forward.  They find themselves in the same argument.  They reflect and trigger each other’s fear and reactivity.  This is a waste of energy.  Not simply a waste of energy in the argument but also a waste of the use of your attention and intention the pathway to focus energy toward the creation of your desire.

Each of you reading this can have the same experience of money simply showing up in your life (growing on trees, ready for you to pluck like fruit and receive).

Here are the simple steps to make it so:

  • Take a breath, exhale and clear your mind.
  • Visualize what you desire.
  • Hold the visualization clear in your heart and mind for 30 seconds free of negativity or attachment to the process (reasons it cannot happen or ways it should happen or how you will feel hurt if it doesn’t happen).
  • Take a deep breath and as you exhale release your desire as you would a butterfly.
  • Write down what you saw and desire onto a piece of paper and put it in a box you keep near your bed while you sleep.
  • You may do this as often as you like.
  • When you gaze upon the box say a prayer that all that is good will come to you.

To strengthen the power of this process

  • Live your life with an open heart and a mindful attitude.  Keep negative beliefs out of your daily thought patterns.
  • Consciously release thoughts and habit patterns that do not serve you.
  • Forgive.
  • Be compassionate toward yourself and others.
  • Be mindful: When you are struggling, look at the problem within the context of that which is good in our life.

In these difficult times I find myself and others forgetting the power in prayer.  The power of faith and knowing.  The power of clear intention and attention.  I like to remind myself and those I love that the universe is working for me, I just have to get out of the way and let the good I have created flow to me.  I wish the absolute best to you.  in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ON

If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg


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We are all interconnected, change your environment: change the world

This is a facebook post from William Khaziri of Bliss River.  bliss river primal wisdom

He and David Khaziri are two truly amazing beings who have taken it upon themselves to offer to anyone interested in listening, ways to uplevel consciousness.

All the podcasts are available for download.

This is mine.

“Hey everyone, this is Will from Bliss River wanting to let everyone who has liked this page and or who knows Dr. Beth to please listen to our enlivening and powerful Podcast. Dr. Beth as you all probably know has more than just a wealth of knowledge but her character and profound intuitive wisdom teaches us effective ways that we can change for the better immediately. For example, she taught us about Cranial Sacral Therapy on the Podcast and I took action and got a treatment done with amazing results. My Vippasana meditation practice has also been dramatically improved through her teaching us the basics of meditation over the Podcast. It has been an honor Dr. Beth and please, if I may ask that everyone who enjoys the Podcast please review our iTunes page so that her message maybe recognized more by Apple through increased reviews and then found by more people on the main iTunes Podcast homepage.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/10-primal-wisdom-w-dr.-beth/id900718536?i=318750984&mt=2

I invite you to listen to these for your own edification and consciousness elevation.

Connecting with these men at Bliss River has reignited my faith in the global community.  I hope you find it equally as exciting and supportive about how we are all connected and if we focus on changing our environment we can create a ribbon of change in the larger community or even the consciousness of the planet.  Very exciting.in love and light, bg

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg

 


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Shed your old skin, Create a New YOU

As you develop through your life you emphasize and de-emphasize different aspects of who you ARE – your multi-layer-self.

Your multi-layer-self is comprised of your spiritual, emotional/cognitive, physical self.

This is especially true as you move through the decades of your life and it follows a specific course. You get the opportunity to actually grow a new skin, and develop into a fuller more balanced personality or self every ten years or so…

Each decade offers you a new perspective and it gives you a chance to incorporate what you have learned in the past in a whole new way…I think of this as discarding your outgrown old skin and growing a new skin.

In the earliest aspect of your life 0-10 years you are developing the foundation of how you see yourself:  what matters to you and how you want to be connected to those around you.

This is the beginning of your lifelong relationship with how you get what you want and how you make a place for yourself with others… this requires balance.

At first your neediness may be the focus and boundaries are set from an outside source. As you move through this decade you develop internalized boundaries that assist you in managing your needs and the expectations or wants of your group.

If you had injuries, abandonment, deficiencies in how your early environment responded to your needs then you will develop an over-developed dependence on yourself (so rigid boundaries) <the I-style of relationship in MAAPS*> or an over-dependence on others (so enmeshed boundaries) <the me-style of relationship in MAAPS*> .

When this occurs your development in the decades that follow will have a skew toward rigidity, difficulty connecting at a deep level or enmeshment (what some call co-dependence) which also results in a difficulty to connect at a deep level in relationship.

These difficulties look different in relationship but skew out from the same place…inner insecurity and imbalance.

If you had a balanced set of love and discipline in the first ten years of life you will have a basic flexibility in how you manage getting what you want and pleasing those whom you call family and friends.

This grows in depth and breadth throughout the next decades and you will find yourself having the internal strength to focus your life toward goals while simultaneously creating loving relationships.

The decade of 10 – 20 years offers a new level of managing your internal focus and boundaries.  This is biologically a time when relationship outside your family of origin begins to have greater importance. You determine what aspects of your familial groups and group constructs are in alignment with your goals and perspectives of the world and yourself.

This is where you benefit from an early life that included a sense of freedom and boundaries in balance.  When you have this in balance you are flexible in how you negotiate care of yourself and care of others. Additionally, you have a more grounded sense of your assets and limitations which supports you creating goals that are within your reach and goals that promote a sense of positivity and empowerment within you and your community.

If you have somehow skewed off into a me-style or I-style of relationship, then you have to develop inner security, empathy and boundaries.  This is the work of the decades 20-30 and for those of you who are from the 90s and 2000 generation this may incorporate the decade of 30-40.

Here a sense of spirit is good to discuss.

A loss of faith has hit a lot of the millennium generation…loss of faith in elders, in the world at large, even in the purpose of living on the planet.  This has resulted in a sense of being out of balance with the world around them.

In order to reconnect with yourself, in relationship or/and with your community you must reconnect with your sense of spirit.

Try to avoid the trap of hearing religion or god-practice for right now…

Think about the concept of Lovingkindness, embrace the true reality that we are all connected — all human communities, all life beings on the planet…even the planet itself to each of us…and the planets in our universe to our planet and us…

You can find this in reconnecting to your internal sensory guidance system..your 5 + 1 senses …your senses of seeing, tasting, feeling, smelling, hearing and intuition..these are your perfect guides to what path to take.  These are your proof in this interconnectedness and your sense of spirit.

Once you allow your sensory guidance system to chart your course then your relationships become mutually empowering and your faith returns.  By listening and responding to your 5 + 1 senses you create goals that fill you with strength, resilience and joy.  You will naturally use empathy, inner security, and boundaries to map your life.

Here you will be emphasizing both your internal needs and goals and your external group requirements with a sense of unification and faith. in love and light, bg

 

Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..  

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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Sometimes, it’s all you can do to stay in the light

Sometimes, it’s all you can do to stay in the light.

There are a lot of challenges to staying positive and feeling grateful.

  • Unexpected shortfalls,
  • friends leaving or hurting you (even unintentionally),
  • delays, (mercury in retrograde),
  • accidents of all kinds…these things can pull you down, and leave you feeling dark, moody, alone, or even fearful.

The best way to deal with this is to make a choice to focus on the positive.

Focus, is attention and intention.  

Put your attention on that thing bringing you down and see if you can shift your perspective;

do a cognitive inversion, a reframe.  

Align your intention to your highest good, SEE HOW the universe is working for you… Looking for How this may be true is the fastest way to shift out of darkness to light.

Your empowerment is not in stopping bad things from happening to you…even the most cautious person must deal with unexpected turns in the road….

Empowerment requires a sense of inner security and an understanding of boundaries.

Your empowerment is HOW you RESPOND to what happens to you.  Remember to have your authentic self be your guide.  Release the need to give other’s power over your inner well-being.

It is though this process of response that you can find your way to joy, again and again.body heals

Life will have ups and downs…but if you are willing to shift your perspective ever to how whatever is going on is IN your BEST interests, that you are on your path to enlightenment…then, it will feel as if you ALWATS have a tailwind, and never a headwind in the journey of life…well except when a headwind is beneficial then you can embrace it.

And remember to find the joy, laughter, and play in all that you encounter..then you will experience ongoing healing and light.in love and light, bg


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How insecurity interferes with getting what you want.

to realizeOne of the coolest aspects of the MAAPS guiding principles of relationship is how easily you can discern what is driving how you behave in relationship.

This is beneficial when HOW you are behaving is interfering with you getting what you want.

MAAPS is an easy way to remember the five guiding security principles of relationship: Money, Achievement, Attachment (Connection), Power, and Structure.

One or more of these are engaged when YOU are driven or compelled to act inauthentically in relationship to create a sense of safety in one of these areas.  And when you are acting under the influence of one or more of these drivers you create immature, and unfulfilling relationships.

In order to shift away from this you have to face your insecurity: You have to tolerate feeling insecure while asking for what you truly need or want in the relationship.

For example: if you fear, or have an insecurity around attachment or feeling connected, you might create yourself as less important than the other person; putting his needs ahead of yours and attempting to get your needs met on the side.

This is a reasonable solution in the short-term, however after a while this will feel as if the other person is taking advantage of you or that your needs are not as important; this can lead to resentment within you and create a crevasse in the foundation of the relationship that may ultimately tear the relationship apart.

An alternative action is to speak about what you are feeling as soon as you identify it is happening.  You may want to do some undercover work with your self to discern what may be underlying the insecurity.  You can look into what decisions you may have made about how you HAD to act to be loved or cared for or to feel SAFE in your early childhood or early relationships.sigmund freud

More often these drivers act under the surface.  You actually are not aware of the influence the insecurity has over your actions.

So here are some clues that you are under the influence of insecurity:

  • you have difficulty co-mingling funds
  • you have difficulty sharing title for achievements
  • you have difficulty being alone or you feel abandoned when you cannot immediately contact your partner
  • you have difficulty receiving assistance from others or you have difficulty when others don’t do what you tell them to do
  • you have difficulty when there is disorganization

Insecurity can be hidden. I know many individuals who on the surface appear strong and confident, yet the insecurity is lurking just beneath the surface.  When left undetected and unresolved, this insecurity can interfere with you getting what you truly want in your personal and career life.

If you notice that you have trouble maintaining healthful and meaningful relationships, investigate whether you have ann insecurity in one of the five guiding security principles in relationship.  Use your compassion, lovingkindness, forgiveness, and mindfulness tools to assist you in releasing the insecurity belief so that you can build inner security and engage in more mutually beneficial relationships.

You can learn more about this in earlier blogs on this site or through the following books.

Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..  

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg


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The Art of Partnering with mindfulness: How to get there in 2 easy steps.

The most challenging aspect of relationship is connecting…not when you feel all gooey and lovey, but when you feel hurt, disconnected, or angry…of course that is one of the most important times to connect..

Try these two steps when you are faced with that situation..be kind to unkind people, they need it most

  • Do a cognitive head stand:
    Think of everything you like about that person, whether you feel angry because of something they did or didn’t do or say OR hurt by them in some way,
  • This focuses you on why you want to work out the disconnect and how much you care about him or her… once you do that, you free yourself up from the defensive, fight posture and open yourself up to the connection posture…
  • Hold an image of the person in your mind in that loving space when you begin to discuss the problem…every time you feel his or her negativity, reorient yourself internally – look at that image,
  • That will help you communicate from your heart, you will have to say what is bugging you, but HOW you say it will be what is communicated – the love and connection.

Do these two things and you have a far better chance for success.

It’s not about being right it’s about be with (connecting)…that’s the glue of relationship.

Relationships are dynamic and multi-level.  You come in and out of being in the same space.  Sometimes you are completely in sync and when that happens you flow.  When you feel the stickiness, the flow not flowing, but sticking, then you have to check your perspective and reorient yourself.

It helps to remember what brought you to the relationship in the first place.

This requires you shift out of a right/wrong, defensive perspective and into a clarity of connection.  It requires you disperse and shift defensiveness in to connection.

Defensiveness is a product of feeling attacked.  In most relationships defensiveness is the way in which the fight continues…so if you feel defensive, you can shift out of it through the above two step process.  Defensiveness and competition go hand in hand.

Competition is a wonderful thing.  It is a great way to discern who is the best athlete or competitor of the people who showed up to the event…but in relationship competition can be divisive, and create distance, and resentment.  In relationship individuals are looking to be seen, accepted, and co-create.  There can be a sharing of leadership, and knowledge and teaching.

Collaboration offers the best style of interaction in relationship.  You cannot collaborate when you are vying for proof of rightness.  Collaboration is a byproduct of mindful paradigm shifting.  It allows both parties to share personal perspectives while discovering a centered place where both perspectives meet.

Family and love relationships are the kind of relationships where this is most paramount.

Often it is a phrase, feeling, or style of interacting that creates the defensiveness.

Left over resentments, and injuries must be resolved.  Partners and family members must let go, forgive, reset, if they are going to continue in the relationship.  This is the only way to disperse the defensiveness.  If an injury or resentment is too big to release then you may have come to the end of the line with that relationship.  Release it with love and forgiveness. Discern what is your part and make a lesson of the loss to assist you in future relationships.  Don’t hold on.  Let go.

When you are bound to the injury and resentment and also unwilling to let go of the relationship, you can create a difficult and unpleasant relationship.reflection

Whenever you feel defensive, look to see what is underneath…is it connected to a historical relationship?  Is it connected to an unresolved injury or resentment?  Clarify what is underneath, unearth it and bring it to the surface.  Then use the above two step process to try to resolve the problem with your partner.  If it is unresolvable, allow yourself to release the unforgiveness.  Forgive your partner and yourself; this may result in the dissolution of the relationship but it will create a freeing within you to honestly connect in your future relationships without holding the next person accountable for an unresolved injury. Namaste, in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..  

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg