Here are three simple steps to create space for Joy to come into your energetic, personal field and Balance your Life.
One remove fight from your vocabulary.
Two focus on your strengths rather than your limitations.
Three Be Grateful…even when you are in dire circumstances.
Whether you experience Joy or not is completely up to you…
What happens to you is outside of your control HOW you respond to what happens to you is COMPLETELY within your control.
Joy is a matter of attention and intention.
Practice these three steps every day and you will create space for JOY.
Your environment may not change immediately but as you change…and because all of life is a system, once you change your joyous effect on your environment will positively affect everyone and everything within it.
This works in both directions, choosing joy creates more pleasing (and less negative experiences) and choosing negativity begets more negative experiences.
If you want to Change the world, or just change your world…BE the change…. change your perspective, change your language…be in your relationships what you want to experience in relationship.
Change how you see, look for connection, understanding, and moments of perfection. Have that attention and intention drive how you see and you will experience more space for Joy.
Three steps: remove fight from your vocabulary, focus on your strengths, and be grateful practiced daily create space for Joy.
I am deeply grateful for your continued interest and fantastic work on the planet. in love and light, bg
…..if the universe responds with creating the things where you put your attention then is it better to point out what is wrong in the world or to point out what is right?
Is it Pollyanna to attend only to the positive? the light?…..
The challenge is that you are spirit-humans, anchored to the third dimensional earth plane with duality and limited time, AND corded to the unlimited quality of instant creation through attention, intention, thought, word, and action. Standing one foot in each zone….or plane…. or dimension…
….identifying what needs changing is necessary, it clarifies;
…holding the attention and tending to what you want and seeing that completed, changed, and present in the now is essential for living in the light and upleveling consciousness.
These are challenging, interesting, beautiful times… embrace each perfect moment and link these together to see your world perfectly enlightened.
As I encourage the upleveling of consciousness, I ponder the concept of duality and unity. How might shifting from duality to unity appear or present itself in my everyday world and environment. What might I experience within myself? How might I look, sound, and be? What might I reflect?
Duality feels right/ wrong, good/bad, or light versus dark separating out along continua of opposites. Unity feels all encompassing, embracing, holistic, and inclusive; whorls or inclusive wholes.
When I align with the strength of living in the light, my presence is joyful, happy, and offers the aura of fulfillment. I radiate a sense of peace. I observe others drawn to me and the light opening hearts to increase internal joy.
Living in the light and shining in this way brings to me even more of that enlightened power and inner strength.
What I notice is that this is simple and easy, like breathing when all is peaceful and light around me. When I am faced with a fear-promoting situation, negativity or an experience of attack from without my capacity to remain in the light is challenged.
I reactively shift into the habit of vigilance, thinking, analysis, defense as a protective response. But when I lower my energy to that of mind alone I feel myself isolated and disconnected – fear immediately surrounds me…lowering, my vibration. This disconnection and heaviness feels deficient of light.
When I am living in the light and responding with my internal sensory guidance system I immediately notice the shift and can apply my mindful focus on how I have changed and what preceded the shift to address what has triggered my defensive reaction. Once aware of the event I can reset my place in the light.
This issue of duality feels like a software upload, in order to shift into unity the software in my thinking and action relationship has to be updated to include mindfulness. So even writing about my experience of moving from duality to unity is dualistic… from negativity to positivity.
Utilizing the element of fear or judgment to encourage the upleveling of consciousness is a mistaken action. It pulls on the precise element of duality that you are trying to uplevel, and so creates a type of wobble in your consciousness.
Being joyful, secure, inviting and compassionate uses the action of love to encourage enlightenment.
Gandhi said: Be the change you wish to see in the world. He was encouraging embracing the responsibility for change personally in order to shift the culture or environment one being at a time.
Stephen Covey: Wrote (in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) that in order to create change in your own relationships you should change have to be… so that what you wanted to have in your relationship you needed to be in your interacting style, first.
I realize that if I want to encourage living in the light I need to live in the light and telegraph that light through all my senses so that simply being in my presence another might feel the light and shift within him or her self.
In order for the consciousness of beings on the planet to change those leading the way must change have to be, and be the change of enlightenment.
Living in the light is living in compassion, lovingkindness, and forgiveness, with the attitude of gratitude. Shifting perspective to see the positive in the darkest places to bring light to each; to see the flow between and the whorl of both together so that my and your experience of light can shift consciousness to make mindful, collaborative, connecting healing choices.
Practice these steps to get into, remain, and live in the light of compassion, mindfulness, lovingkindness, forgiveness, and grace:
wake each day with a focus on what is working in your world, and what you desire to experience
change have to be: act in the way you desire others to be, and stand in the center of that action with integrity, and truth
Feel, see, visualize, and be grateful for how your desires are present in the now
use Verbal aikido to deflect, deflate, and define (reset or redefine) negativity and experience of duality into unity.
remove fight from your vocabulary, release defensiveness; replace fight and defense with an earnest interest in understanding, clarity, and collaboration
seek connection, listen to your sensory guidance system, embrace flow
These six steps will return you to balance, increase your awareness, understanding, compassion and experience of unity, and allow the immediate and rejuvenating uplevel of consciousness your soul desires. Change your attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. In love and light, bg
Hello and Welcome! This is a reblog of a September 30, 2013 post.
To have a powerful, positive, and mutually satisfying relationship you need to decipher the code to your map. Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (Gineris 2013)offers insight into how your create your inner map in relationship, what kind of relationship feels secure to you, and what drives that security.
Relationships are complex. We use a map to partner. This map is designed from these intersecting coordinates
Your temperament,
Your social group connections,
The prevailing Cultural beliefs of Your location in time,
And, your security drivers from your psychosocial childhood development: What I call MAAPS
The key to navigating relationship is to discover what drives YOU to partner, what a good partner LOOKS like to your heart, mind, and body blueprint. And when that picture has some skews in it – this book offers soul-utions for how to shift that center and boundaries of your inner map.
So what are the map-keys in relationship?
Your family structure, how you observed your family relate to each other & YOU
Your personal group ties, religion, ethnicity, part of USA or other country, and your socio-economic status: READ your BELIEF systems,
These feel instinctive but are learned.
It delineates HOW you develop in relationship. From a ME style through an I style to WE. This is from dependent through an independent to an interdependent style of interacting
To shift from ME or I into a WE-style of relationship requires moving your paradigm perspective from DUALITY to UNITY. Use the MAAPSsecurity driver system: Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power or Structure, to decipher the code of relationships by understanding your insecurity drivers. By reviewing the test you can discern which of the security drivers drives, how, with whom, and under what conditions you partner.
Once you understand your personal map you can use meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork exercises and techniques to shift perspective, from a Me or I into a WE-style of relationship. Using various exercises to Unlink survivor scenarios or Habitual Reaction Patterns in relationship you free yourself from the constraints of limiting beliefs, fears, and insecurities.
Additionally embracing your integrated spirit mind, and body connection opens the space for true Inner Guidance.
3 key components differentiate how you can relate: empathy, boundaries, and inner security.
Me-style, dependence, narcissism, incapacity of empathy, difficulty with boundaries, diffuse boundaries – can’t say NO, feels empty at core and needs completion.
I-style, independence, competition, chooses to not use empathy for fear of loss of self, difficulty with boundaries, rigid boundaries – can’t say YES, fears engulfment and needs distance, separation.
We-style, Interdependence, connection, and collaboration, openly empathic, flexible boundaries, feels solid, knows self so can say NO or YES as is appropriate for the relationship and situation. Interdependent, maintains sense of self while also intimately and connected, chooses to focus on Unity and collaboration with a continued self-connection simultaneously.
These relationship styles’ different Boundaries:
TWO halves ( )=1 co-dependence: ME
Me: ( ) difficulty saying No; two halves make a whole
Two independent circles no overlap,I, 00= 2
I: 00 difficulty w/ Yes; walking side by side without integration
Two overlapping circles 1+1=3:WE, easy flexible boundaries, interdependent.
WE: o0o 1+1=3 interdependent, mutual, flexible, collaborative can say Yes and No.
Duality to Unity: Toward a Union of WE
Shifting Your Consciousness, Away from Defensive, competitive, narcissistic , Away from Balance sheet/ exchange patterns —>> Toward Listening fully, clarifying and receiving before speaking (for some this is a cultural snare), Toward Seeking understanding Rather than picking points to argue. Toward connection rather than where you diverge, feel that first then balance divergence.
This groundbreaking book offers you insight, exercises, and reinforcing information so that you can incorporate into your style of relating the keys to a better, more fulfilled life through profoundly shifting how, with whom, and under what circumstances you partner.
You can find a deep sense of peace, joy, and strength through the understanding of what drives you and developing a centered, inner strength to shift your style of being in the world through neutralizing your insecurities and embracing your inner guidance.
dr beth gineris is the author of Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness (2011) and Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (2013). She endeavors to assist individuals in the process of upleveling their consciousness in everyday interactions to experience profound love, connection and care in their relationships and communities. You can find her books on amazon.com and through her website.
Your personal sensory guidancesystem is built within your automated central nervous system. It uses your five plus one senses: sight, smell hearing, taste and touch plus your integrated intuition.
You may think, “I don’t have a sensory guidance system” – “I feel like I am always directed down the same wrong path”...fair enough…here’s why, you may be caught in a feedback loop that just keeps replaying the same scene, with you taking the same action, over and over. This is usually a result of some trauma, loss, or injury.
Once you know that, you create your way out, your free will choice: you can shift out of that feedback loop by changing your perspective and healing your spirit.
A simple shift in focus, release of the weight of trauma or loss, and you can find your way home.
The first step to changing your life is to stop doing your habit.
From that centered space you can then make a choice to release… to let go of the habitual way of seeing and doing so that you can connect to your true inner source, your truth.
Once you have released, you can reset how and who you want to be in your balanced state.
Your way home is following a path to grace…Allowing your heart to lead, guided by your internal sensory guidance system.
From that interior space all of your movements will be holistically in your best interests and support you and your community shifting from Me to WE.
Change your attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life
To find out more about how to Shift away from habits that harm Toward habits that heal you can look into Beth’s groundbreaking book on relationship styles and the insecurity drivers, MAAPS, at the foundation of ineffective, narcissistic relationships. Find out more about Beth at www.bethgineris.com You can purchase the Me to We book there at a 30%discount…see the buy beth’s books page. offered in love and light, bg
There has been a lot of chatter about the need to change the status quo and that the stars are aligned to break up structures and patterns that are disharmonious for our culture and planet.
Often this is applied to the concept of capitalism and laid at the feet of white people who allowed, even empowered racism and slavery, and corporate culture that focuses on ever-increasing greed. Fair enough those entities have indeed powered a materialistic, consumer-focused, over-emphasis on ever-expanding Yang energy.
Here is something to think about:
Since the 1960’s there has been energetic and social revolution grounded in the speeches and actions of Martin Luther King, jr and others, and the words of Mahatma Gandhi, and rightly so -> the change that exploded in the sixties toward peace and loving energy is positive and has had effect and is growing.
On a broader level, this has been in play far longer. The shift toward masculine or yang energy and away from feminine or yin energy has been an ongoing transfer over many years – seen in earlier cultures 2000 to 5000 plus years ago…and is directly related to the empowerment of all things masculine, and yang in energy to the exclusion of all things feminine and yin in energy. There have been periods of teachings that described the spiral form and importance of balance between yin and yang – think Taoism. Currently the focus is the ever-upward phallic growth to the exclusion of lateral and internal growth, so that the focus is on me, me, me, me rather than we and this is culminating in the problems of the current time; paradoxically, this is another offshoot of the explosive sixties.
In addition there is a corrupt, misleading component of divisiveness and misdirection. Rather than embracing the spirit of the previous guides of MLK and Gandhi or even JC and Buddha there is a second level of Yang misdirection that belies the positive advances of our culture and enhances the ongoing materialism, consumerism, and lack of cooperation, care, compassion, and Yin energy. Encouraging constant blame mongering, victimization-excuse and deflection of personal responsibility for one’s personal actions toward self and others, even rewarding ‘bad-boy/bad-girl’ behavior through the exaltation of how cool it is to buck authority and to win read beat out the other side (polarity); it is focused on limited resource third dimensional belief systems that pit me against you and are devoid of the concept of we.
My question is this: what if the status quo pattern that needs to be addressed isn’t the fifties but rather the energy of the sixties, seventies, and nineties (me, me, me, materialism, power)- something that is tearing apart families, cementing the crevasse and divides between racial groups, men and women, gays and straights, rich and poor, and doing all of this under the guise of what is cool and misrepresenting for the purpose of gaining more yang power.
What if it is this idea of polarity: have and have-nots; what if it is the belief set forth by Karl Marx about the owners of the means to production and the workers and the rights of the working class. What if what was described by this man, who defined the economic problem of his german society, were absolutely accurate for his paradigmatic perception of the space/time/world in which he lived but that his solution was misguided derived from the very thing he was attempting to correct: simply changing the poles and NOT actually helpful today. Unlike the information received from other thinkers that defines how to quantum shift these poles, to integrate and balance relationships – Gandhi, MLK, JC, and Buddha quantum, upleveling space/time shift response to an ongoing adversarial power battle – to actually shift the energetic and physical response to the dilemma.
What if the belief in that status quo is the thing that needs to be transmuted… the belief in the limited resource, you against me, is the status quo that needs to be transmuted or paradigmatically evolved, rather than who is the have and have-not in the equation? Shifting into an actually new perspective (not leaning forward linearly or hierarchically but quantum paradigmatic upleveling) a more inclusive and multidimensional equation must be how the situation is analysed; and the response be akin to moving from a me to we-style of relating. Then the answer in this new paradigmatic shift in which we are living is not between the two sides that keep popping up in these divisive debates but rather a conversation about how to acknowledge and integrate two sides together to make sense out of OUR world TOGETHER. Our world containing two (plus) partners, our world inclusive of rich and poor, our world embracing and finding upleveled solutions within varying degrees of politics and paradigms, our world shifting have and have-nots into a we.…OUR world in our little personal lives and the big public space of our global home.
I invite all my friends in the healing fields, in the religious fields, and in the position of authority whom are placing blame at the culture of the fifties or some other, in light of the culture of the sixties, seventies, nineties and millenniums …I hold these friends (and enemies) of mine, in a bubble of lovingkindness, gratitude, forgiveness, and compassion; I hold their feet to the fire with mine to LET GO of the fight they and I thought we had, and to embrace a new perspective where we ALL are on the same side against the imbalance in our culture and we ALL bring valuable perspective that requires integration and balance of Yang with Yin, within a non-limited resource perspective, rather a holistic perspective that allows us all to uplevel together.
We must move out of Me/you, I only, into WE in our perspectives and interactions, Out of dependency and independency into Interdependency, Away from Narcissistic –taking without giving, Or dependence creating of giving without taking; Away from competitive independent I need only to take care of myself in a WE style of relating that makes room for every one to be valuable and that values ALL the aspects of society – mothering, caregiving, cleaning, security, growth promotion and balances out the way in which talents are made visible and compensated. Actors, Politicians, Musicians, Sport Celebrities, entertainers of all sorts, and the various participants in marketing and publicity, and corporatism unbalancedly gather an excess of the nutrition of our society: money – while caregivers, motherers, teachers, counselors, healers, cleaners, do-gooders of all sorts, and security people receive too little. This imbalance feeds the polarity and the negative paradigm that drives our culture.
The we includes valuing all roles not just those seen from a hierarchical yang perspective as best and highest. Finding your true purpose, embracing your true talent, living in right labor, right relationship, right balance so that you are part of the whole, the we, that is what I hope for all of us. And this means to disarm the status tied to the hierarchical structures present in our society. The Marxian perspective simply changes poles it keeps the status quo operating… relieving ourselves of the status quo in ALL its forms is what will bring a upleveling of consciousness and balance.
Pay attention to the propaganda all around you – you may be betraying yourself or those you love without knowing it. Just because you like someone doesn’t mean they are saying something that is true. Don’t swallow whole the words of your heroes – mindfully discern for yourself the fullness of what they are saying and then choose to act from your heart center.
There are small truths and Universal Truths – Currently some of the small truths are lying about the universal truths.
Look to see what status quo you are holding onto that needs to be transmuted – forget about the talking-heads on both sides, refrain from polarity, listen to your heart, listen with your heart and your mindful space. Then make a change in your beliefs and your actions to embrace a better more inclusive, holistic space.
One of my favorite mantras is: he who throws the second punch starts the fight – without the agreement of the second punch no fight is possible….defensive action is best followed in the way of the peaceful warrior: let the first punch go by, walk away from a fight if you are able, use the art of aikido and the art of verbal and cognitive aikido to deflect, deflate and define… BE a faithful true being of peace – avoid writing hateful things about those you perceive on the other side of an argument. Live in the middle space, walk in the middle way, look for how you and your enemy agree and create a time/space continuum that uplevels all.
How often do you hear about these essential qualities? Probably a lot. The idea of integrating these three together is very popular right now. But do you understand how much their integration defines who and how you are in the world?
When working with disease, ennui, unhappiness, and dissatisfaction I see how these three are disconnected. Most people go through life living without feeling deeply into one of these three spaces.
People who remain in unhappy relationships or unsatisfying working situations are not listening to their spirit or their mind. They disregard the feeling of ennui and simply press forward, after a while this leads to a deeper crevasse in their spirit, mind, body connection and can lead to a lack of healthy actions on how they care for their body, or to behaviors that are inconsistent with their mind (values) and heart (spirit). People who abuse their bodies with drugs, smoking, bad food, or lack of exercise are not feeling into their bodies or their spirit…they may be disregarding what their mind is saying. When you are spirit, mind, and body integrated you know that smoking is hurting you, you feel it in your spirit, in your body, and you can see and understand it in your mind.
Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING you need to know you have access to through your integrated Spirit, mind, and body connection. Your internal sensory guidance system communicates with you at lightening speed and with perfection about your actions and experiences, your ‘doing and being’, to assist you to remain integrated and to amplify that integration to create success.
The question is will you listen to your inner communications or will you ignore these. The life you want is completely within your grasp. Step into the grace of being and allow the perfection of your life to present itself to you. Reconnect spirit, mind, and body. Take action from that integrated inner connection and knowing. Then everything that matters and has value to you will be yours.in love and light, bg
The Path to Grace is a journey that cycles between these two steps.
These 4 simple phrases assist you in this recovery path, which I call the Path to Grace.
Stop, look, and listen. It is the perfect mantra to create the neutral, present moment, open-minded perspective required for moving through roadblocks. Stop the harmful behavior; look at your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions, to discern what may be underneath your resistance; listen to you heart, tone, whole language to comprehend an underlying covert message.
The attitude of gratitude. Identify the gifts of your history, your drama, and your shift into recovery. Reaffirm your choice for health. Focus on your strengths, reframe your limitations. The attitude of gratitude creates an inner structure of resilient positive self-esteem rooted in a solid foundation.
Focus on what you want rather than what you fear. This mindful mantra directs your attention to precisely where you have power. Things feared tend to be things unknown that are out of your control. An inner locus of control puts the resilience, power to create, and basic capacity to respond to whatever comes your way into your own hands, so that you believe, have faith and have evidence that you can create what you want.
Be the Change You Wish to See in the World. This is a phrase made famous by M. Gandhi. He was interested in major social change, but this phrase is just as useful in small social worlds. Act mindfully, show respect, be loving, and compassionate as a style of being in the world. Live your change in every cell of your being, allowing breath, faith, forgiveness, and lovingkindness direct your actions and personal relationships, beginning with your relationship with yourself. Covey called this change Have to Be, which is to say focus on being what you want to have (Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, 1989).
Keeping these simple mantras close to your heart and mind will increase your capacity for mindfulness. This will increase your experience of compassion, harmony, and balance in living, and keep you on the recovery Path to Grace. Namaste, in love and light, bg
Anger, fear, discouragement, and insecurity have oxidative properties to your spirit, mind and body. When you choose a path that brings you strength, empowerment, joy, and confidence you are creating anti-oxidant properties that regenerate your cells, your thinking power, and your spiritual health.
This is a natural outcome of mindfulness and mindful meditation, focused breathwork, and heart or breath-led yoga practice.
I have a neighbor who cannot let go of any perceived injury. She plots and plans to get back at any individual who in her mind has ‘injured’ her. These perceived injuries feel very painful to her. Her face carries the look of a person who has been in battle for many years; deep furrows between her brows as if in a perpetual frown, loose skin that has deep furrows around her mouth make her look as if she is angry when she is at rest. Strangely, or perhaps understandably because she is always looking for injury, she has difficulty with any service professional who comes into her home… either she feels they are cheating her or they overcharge her or they do not correctly complete every job assigned. This spills off onto the constant negative, fearful energy of her constantly, fearfully barking tiny dog who seems to be in a constant panic attack. This woman actually has a great deal of prosperity in her life which she appears to not receive any comfort from. She owns her home and another rental (of course her tenants are always taking advantage of her from her perspective), has a good job and a nice retirement pension coming her way…. yet she is not happy – she is rich in things but poor in her sense of wealth and her style of relating in the world.
This is an example of how the oxidative energy of vengefulness, anger, and dissatisfaction are wearing away at her wellbeing. She cannot experience the comfort she actually has, and her face and body show the signs of advanced aging so that she looks older than her years. Even when she chooses to smile the anger and dissatisfaction comes through.
This kind of energy so close to my own home can be destabilizing. It can spill off onto my space and my interactions. The first step in dealing with such a being is to remember that defensiveness ties you into the negative path, so use the verbal aikido methods of deflection of the tone and negative behavior, deflation of the negative energy, and then definition of how you desire to act regardless of her actions. This is choosing the path that brings you joy
Regardless of another’s choice you are free to choose your own way. If another indeed is harming you or injuring you with his or her actions, taking a step to set it right is good. Do so with a lack of vengefulness or anger in your ideation, intention, and action. This will keep your cells vibrant, your face and voice and heart glowing and bring prosperity to you. This is healthy living and results in vibrant health in your spirit,mind, and body.
If you have been drawn in to a difficult relationship. Give yourself a chance to re-choose and to set your intention on this joyful path.
You can always choose a different path, a different response.
Consider this if you are feeling discouraged with previous choices which turned out less than well…
When are able to act in this loving responsible way, even saying you’re sorry when you make a mistake and resetting your plan, you teach your children to be resilient, flexible and truly responsible… and you build your own inner resilience.
Choose this anti-oxidant style of living in every interaction and you will see the positive results in your health and wealth… you may even be able to turn back the hands of time in how you are aging. Namaste, in love and light, bg
For those of you who follow how the stars in the heavens affect your inner pulsations and energies, this is a difficult time with Uranus and Pluto in a direct square. Often this results in a flash of change through a flash of catastrophe or a flash of insight like an Aha experience. This is like the Tower card in the Tarot.
What is useful to remember is that following the Tower is the The star which is all about renewal.
First destruction or revolution and then rebuilding anew… stronger, better, with more clarity.
This process has been ongoing for a year now with two previous meetings of these planets coinciding with challenging events in our society and culture and there are four more to go over the next two years… this process is necessary; like forest fires bringing new growth and prosperity in nature, so can these traumatic and insightful shifts offer opportunities for growth and change to your societal and personal structures.
I have been in a process of deep renewal that has felt like living within the Tower card for the last two and a half months. It has been a powerful experience to see through the fear, difficulty, and challenges to identify the irrepressible seeds of new growth in my core self. This process has brought to me a revolution of my core being…. how I respond to the pressures of society, group expectations, my perceived internalized values, and my personal needs; how I view my place in the world; what I perceive to be my core strengths and my core limitations; and what is the focus of my life-soul-plan. For me, this has been a mixof painful release, letting go – like a weeding out of misbeliefs and mis-directed strategies and a healing attraction, health promoting, and strengthening of my true authentic self and inspiration. I have been living through the energies of a mix of the Tower and the Star – destruction and renewal.
If you have been experiencing this too, then you are aware that to move through this process with the least amount of pain and the highest degree of renewal: What matters is how you respond to the catastrophe or insight.
The process of meditation, and mindfulness can guide you. Accepting truth while simultaneously letting go of misbeliefs takes a willingness to focus your mindful attention and observation upon yourself.
That which causes you fear may be the key.
Make an effort to understand whether the fear is something dangerous that you must fight against or a sense of not knowing, a sense of something unfamiliar that may indeed portend a cleansing away of debris and inauthenticity and a deeper connection to your true self.
Be kind to yourself, kind and loving. Embrace the change, go with the flow, see the beauty and the gifts in the shifting internal landscape. This will offer you that sense of peace so that you can experience the power in the renewal and the beauty in your authentic self.
Connection to spirit is the most useful tool at this time. Spirit in any form that has valence and meaning to you.
The following phrases can be helpful. Jot these down to remind you of the positive power in your shifting environment. Tether yourself so that you can feel the strength of the tree, rooted, and the height of your spirit. Even if you are feeling pulled at your very roots like the image of the Tower know that Renewal follows and allows a rebuilding process that makes you truly stronger and more flexible.
May you live in interesting times (Robert Kennedy, 1966 originally attributed as a chinese curse but this is not corroborated in Chinese studies)
For those with much to offer, much is expected. (To those whom much is given, much is expected. John F. Kennedy)
Be Grateful for the problems you have, See what gifts are set inside of them. My own inspiration.
In the center of health is heal… pay attention to how you focus your energy.
The opposite of evil is live. Shifting your perspective helps, heals, and creates connection.
Fear and love cannot take up the same space, choose love, choose joy, release fear and insecurity –> this allows you to live free, to call the renewal to you. This moves you away from the pain of the destruction, the despair of destruction toward revolution and renewal. This is the pattern of scientific, social, and personal revolutions – paradigm shifting-that creates self, relationship, and society anew. Namaste. in love and light, bg
Relationship change and growth are adventures into your heart and soul.
Relationship styles follow a developmental process from Me-style through I-style to We-style. The Me-style of relating has diffuse and enmeshed boundaries. Which mean the boundaries between Me and You in relationship get blurred. The way in which a participant in a Me-style relationship makes decisions is through a need to agree with, or merge into the other to feel the connection. This is how the co-dependence begins. The individual in a Me-style of relating has difficulty saying No when asked to act or be in a way that is inauthentic, because the driving force is to connect at all costs including loss of self. The picture of this kind of relationship is two halves coming together to make a whole. So there is a lack of boundaries between the two participants. ( )
To move into an I-style of relationship requires closing off the boundaries around yourself. Developing a sense of yourself that is defined from within so that you can guide yourself toward your own goals. You need to develop ways to meet your own needs and to depend on yourself. This is both exhilarating and frightening. Once you do this you are freer to develop into a fuller picture of yourself. Rather than two halves making one whole you are developing a whole picture of yourself so that you can move into and I-style of relationship, two Is walking side-by-side without integration. Connection is through a tally sheet of exchanges. Here competition, defensiveness, and independence drive the relationship so that an individual in an I-style of relating has difficulty saying Yes when asked to create dependence or interdependence. The fear for an individual in an I-style of relating is to become engulfed into the other and lose himself. As with the Me-style of relationship this is a result of an insecure sense of self. Unlike the Me-style of relationship, where the drive to be connected causes enmeshed or a lack of boundaries, in the I-style of relating the fear of enmeshment results in overly rigid boundaries. The picture of this kind of relationship is two Is walking side-by-side, solitary selves walking next to each other without integration. 0 0
You have to develop a solid sense of yourself, deal with adversity against your picture of yourself , and create a personal relationship with yourself, to live in an I-style of relationship. After solidifying this experience and developing a sense of trust that you will not sell yourself out, you can begin to move into a We-style of relationship. An I-style of relationship is a stepping-stone to get to a We-style of relationship. This is because you have to develop boundaries first (I-style) before you can be flexible with your boundaries in a dynamic way (We-style).
The interdependence of a We-style of relationship allows for strength of self and connection to other, simultaneously. The We-style of relationship incorporates support of the individual and collective goals and needs with a dynamic, flux movement between the resources of the relationship toward whatever of these needs attention at any given time. This requires strong boundaries and flexibility in the interdependence of the two individuals and the third aspect, the relationship or partnership. So that rather than ½ + ½ = 1 (me-style) or 1,1 (I-style) you create a situation where 1+1 = 3, or more than the sum of its parts (we-style). The picture of the We-style of relationship includes two wholes and a third aspect, which is the area the two individuals overlap to create the relationship vortex, o()o (view this symbol as two circles overlapping each other to create an inner vortex).
Fear can really be a block to change, embracing the attitude of adventure can reframe your fear into excitement, offering an energy or anticipation to help you to flow with the change rather than block or freeze when faced with change.
This is how boundaries work. Boundaries create a definition. They clarify this is me, and this is you, through defining where you end and another begins. This clarification creates a deeper understanding of each individual and also how couples, partners or groups coexist and share goals. From the defined individual space, the boundary, you can create the space for a sense of oneness and togetherness.
Flowing through the process of change begins with gentleness. Boundaries assist in creating an internal container, so that you can move through a process of change more harmoniously. Creating boundaries comes out of self-love, and love toward your partner. The clearer you are about you and other the better you are about defining what you want and what you can give in relationship. Boundaries increase connection.
See if you can discover in a self-affirming, authentic way the edges of you and how you integrate with your partner this will give you space to discern an interdependency that support you both and your relationship. in love and light, beth
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