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Change the Status Quo; Refrain from polarity; uplevel to see multidimensionally at once

Hello!  Welcome.  Thank you for being here.

There has been a lot of chatter about the need to change the status quo and that the stars are aligned to break up structures and patterns that are disharmonious for our culture and planet.

Often this is applied to the concept of capitalism and laid at the feet of white people who allowed, even empowered racism and slavery,  and corporate culture that focuses on ever-increasing greed.  Fair enough those entities have indeed powered a materialistic, consumer-focused, over-emphasis on ever-expanding Yang energy.

Here is something to think about:

  1. Since the 1960’s  there has been energetic and social revolution grounded in the speeches and actions of Martin Luther King, jr and others, and the words of Mahatma Gandhi, and rightly so -> the change that exploded in the sixties toward peace and loving energy is positive and has had effect and is growing.
  2. On a broader level, this has been in play far longer.  The shift toward masculine or yang energy and  away from feminine or yin energy has been an ongoing transfer over many years – seen in earlier cultures 2000 to 5000 plus years ago…and is directly related to the empowerment of all things masculine, and yang in energy to the exclusion of all things feminine and yin in energy.  There have been periods of teachings that described the spiral form and importance of balance between yin and yang – think Taoism.  Currently the focus is the ever-upward phallic growth to the exclusion of lateral and internal growth, so that the focus is on me, me, me, me rather than we and this is culminating in the problems of the current time; paradoxically, this is another offshoot of the explosive sixties.
  3. In addition there is a corrupt, misleading component of divisiveness and misdirection.  Rather than embracing the spirit of the previous guides of MLK and Gandhi or even JC and Buddha there is a second level of Yang misdirection that belies the positive advances of our culture and enhances the ongoing materialism, consumerism, and lack of cooperation, care, compassion, and Yin energy.  Encouraging constant blame mongering, victimization-excuse and deflection of personal responsibility for one’s personal actions  toward self and others, even rewarding ‘bad-boy/bad-girl’ behavior through the exaltation of how cool it is to buck authority and to win read beat out the other side (polarity); it is focused on limited resource third dimensional belief systems that pit me against you and are devoid of the concept of we.

My question is this: what if the status quo pattern that needs to be addressed isn’t the fifties  but rather the energy of the sixties, seventies, and nineties (me, me, me, materialism, power)- something that is tearing apart families, cementing the crevasse and divides between racial groups, men and women, gays and straights, rich and poor, and doing all of this under the guise of what is cool and misrepresenting for the purpose of gaining more yang power.

What if it is this idea of polarity:  have and have-nots; what if it is the belief set forth by Karl Marx about the owners of the means to production and the workers and the rights of the working class.  What if what was described by this man, who defined the economic problem of his german society, were absolutely accurate for his paradigmatic perception of the space/time/world in which he lived but that his solution was misguided derived from the very thing he was attempting to correct:  simply changing the poles and NOT actually helpful today.  Unlike the information received from other thinkers that defines how to quantum shift these poles, to integrate and balance relationships –  Gandhi, MLK, JC, and Buddha quantum, upleveling space/time shift response to an ongoing adversarial power battle – to actually shift the energetic and physical response to the dilemma.

What if the belief in that status quo is the thing that needs to be transmuted… the belief in the limited resource, you against me, is the status quo that needs to be transmuted or paradigmatically evolved, rather than who is the have and have-not in the equation? Shifting into an actually new perspective (not leaning forward linearly or hierarchically but quantum paradigmatic upleveling) a more inclusive and multidimensional equation must be how the situation is analysed; and the response be akin to moving from a me to we-style of relating.  Then the answer in this new paradigmatic shift in which we are living is not between the two sides that keep popping up in these divisive debates but rather a conversation about how to acknowledge and integrate two sides together to make sense out of OUR world TOGETHER.  Our world containing two (plus) partners, our world inclusive of rich and poor, our world embracing and finding upleveled solutions within varying degrees of politics and paradigms, our world shifting have and have-nots into a we.…OUR world in our little personal lives and the big public space of our global home.

I invite all my friends in the healing fields, in the religious fields, and in the position of authority whom are placing blame at the culture of the fifties or some other, in light of the culture of the sixties, seventies, nineties and millenniums …I hold these friends (and enemies) of mine,  in a bubble of lovingkindness, gratitude, forgiveness, and compassion; I hold their feet to the fire with mine to LET GO of the fight they and I thought we had, and to embrace a new perspective where we ALL are on the same side against the imbalance in our culture and we ALL bring valuable perspective that requires integration and balance of Yang with Yin, within a non-limited resource perspective, rather a holistic perspective that allows us all to uplevel together.

We must move out of Me/you, I only, into WE in our perspectives and interactions, Out of dependency and independency into Interdependency, Away from Narcissistic –taking without giving, Or dependence creating of giving without taking; Away from competitive independent I need only to take care of myself in a WE style of relating that makes room for every one to be valuable and that values ALL the aspects of society – mothering, caregiving, cleaning, security, growth promotion and balances out the way in which talents are made visible and compensated.  Actors, Politicians, Musicians, Sport Celebrities,  entertainers of all sorts, and the various participants in marketing and publicity, and corporatism  unbalancedly gather an excess of the nutrition of our society:  money – while caregivers, motherers, teachers, counselors, healers, cleaners, do-gooders of all sorts, and security people receive too little.  This imbalance feeds the polarity and the negative paradigm that drives our culture.

The we includes valuing all roles not just those seen from a hierarchical yang perspective as best and highest.  Finding your true purpose, embracing your true talent, living in right labor, right relationship, right balance so that you are part of the whole, the we, that is what I hope for all of us.  And this means to disarm the status tied to the hierarchical structures present in our society.  The Marxian perspective simply changes poles it keeps the status quo operating… relieving ourselves of the status quo in ALL its forms is what will bring a upleveling of consciousness and balance.

  1. Pay attention to the propaganda all around you – you may be betraying yourself or those you love without knowing it.  Just because you like someone doesn’t mean they are saying something that is true.  Don’t swallow whole the words of your heroes – mindfully discern for yourself the fullness of what they are saying and then choose to act from your heart center.
  2. There are small truths and Universal Truths – Currently some of the small truths are lying about the universal truths.
  3. Look to see what status quo you are holding onto that needs to be transmuted – forget about the talking-heads on both sides, refrain from polarity,  listen to your heart, listen with your heart and your mindful space.  Then make a change in your beliefs and your actions to embrace a better more inclusive, holistic space.

One of my favorite mantras is:  he who throws the second punch starts the fight – without the agreement of the second punch no fight is possible….defensive action is best followed in the way of the peaceful warrior:   let the first punch go by, walk away from a fight if you are able, use the art of aikido and the art of verbal and cognitive aikido to deflect, deflate and define… BE a faithful true being of peace – avoid writing hateful things about those you perceive on the other side of an argument.  Live in the middle space, walk in the middle way, look for how you and your enemy agree and create a time/space continuum that uplevels all.

Namaste, In love and light, Beth


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focusing on mindful living leads to spirit, mind, body health

Hello and welcome:

I was asked last weekend to give a lecture at the ABWA, American Business Women’s Association, New Mexico Fiesta on Turning the Triple Play – Keeping Life in Balance.  Here are some of the important tidbits I shared with the 40 or so attendees.

If you want to be successful in the three arenas of your life, self, family, and business or work, then you will want to follow develop these 4 Habits:

Habit 1: SPIRIT meditation, Breath, prayer

Meditation, Prayer, Breath daily or twice daily to redirect and refocus your energy, attention, and intention.

This connects spirit, mind, and body, increases access to your balanced core self and increases your ability for critical thinking, flexibility, and quick responsiveness.

Belly breathing alone can reset your cells, mood, emotion, realign and center you.

Brain scans on long-term meditators show that regions associated with attention, self-awareness and sensory processing are thicker in meditators, and that this can offset age-related cortical thinning: “evidence for … cortical plasticity” (Lazar SW, Kerr CE, Wasserman RH, et al. Neuroreport. 2005;16(17):1893-1897).

“The regular practice of meditation may have neuroprotective effects and reduce the cognitive decline associated with normal aging.” (Pagnoni G. Cekic M. Neurobiology of Aging. 2007;28(10):1623-7).

Evidence found as a result of mindful meditation: Increase in cortical thickness in areas assoc. w/ attention, interoception, & sensory processing such as prefrontal cortex and right anterior insula, using this network to attune to internal senses via the social neural circuits involved in interpersonal attunement, including the middle prefrontal regions, insula, superior temporal complex, and the mirror neuron system – all from mindful meditation practice AND more positive Amygdala responses:  positive affect regulation by optimizing prefrontal cortex regulation of the amygdala. AND Left sided anterior activation: develop tendency toward positive emotional responses & approach /reward oriented behavior, (which aids in decreasing symptoms of depression and anxiety)(Applied Mindfulness Current Psychiatry Vol8.no12p40 2010).

Consider the power of the serenity prayer:  release what you cannot control, shift what you can control, discern the difference

Any of these activities can increase your spiritual meditative connection : Soothing/meditative music; Meditative walking,running;  hiking, dancing; yoga practice; Prayer; Gardening.  Any activity that brings mind/thinking to neutral and offers a spiritual connection with whatever feels spiritual to you

Habit 2: MIND release anger,reduce stress

Address anger and frustration early to extinguish them from your daily routine. Paradigm shift, Forgive, Be compassionate, Be Mindful

Understand Anger’s role: The Alarm aspect, your sensory guidance system: Alert, Respond, Clear

Step out of your Survivor scenarios and Habit reaction patterning – if you want more information about these and how to do that search this site with these phrases, I have written a lot about them – or you can read my two books on mindfulness in parenting and partnering see link below.

Befriend your Anger.  Discover what messages it is giving you, which boundary has been crossed and then see if you can reset your internal alarm system and let it go but releasing it and taking the required action.

Focus on the attitude of Gratitude.

Ways to reduce stress and release anger include: Inverting misbeliefs and focusing on what you want rather than what you fear.  Breathing through until you can reset yourself and be mindful.  Using mindful communication.  Practicing yoga. Journaling to investigate underlying issues or to dump worries.  Using a time-in or stop, look and listen method, thought stopping, and EFT.

Activate the power of gratitude and Forgiveness

Prolonged stress (and unresolved anger) leads to wear-and-tear on the body (allostatic load) Mediated through the Sympathetic Nervous System; Allostatic load leads to:  Impaired immunity, Accelerated atherosclerosis, Metabolic syndrome (hypertension, high cholesterol, type-2 diabetes, central obesity), Bone demineralization (osteoporosis), and Chronic stress can sensitize the brain for the later development of depression (McEwen BS. Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2004;1032:1-7).

Mindfulness practice increases:  Neural plasticity, Immune modulation, Anti-inflammatory, Enhancing immune function, positive Behavior/ lifestyle change, Improvements in sleep, Rumination reduction, and General wellbeing (Ivanovski B, Malhi G. Acta Neuropsychiatrica 2007;19:76-91).

Habit 3: BODY Eat, drink, sleep, exercise

Eat whole foods that are grown or cared for in a humane loving way, are primarily prepared by you or someone you love, and look like a rainbow to support your physical health.

Drink 3 liters of water a day, more if you exercise or live in a dry climate.  Water, not tea, or coke, or coffee etc…H2O positively helps with your cellular health. It positively affects your cognition, heart, electrical gastroenterological, kidney-urinary, and immune system – WOW, right?!

Water is profoundly necessary for your body systems and mind to work efficiently, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2908954/

Your hydration needs are affected by your exercise habits, the altitude at which you live, whether you are menstruating, and your personal system imbalances ( ie: slow digestion, toxicity, meds etc)

Exercise 1 hour a day for maximum health if you are not currently doing this, move up to it slowly to build your muscles and systems in a healthful way. Begin with 20 minutes every other day then move to 15 minutes daily, then 30 minutes every other day and them 20 minutes daily, until you make it to 60 minutes a day.  Choose an exercise regime that suits you, holds your interest, brings in fun.  Positive Benefits of Yoga -> reducing depressive symptoms, and inducing remission in mild to severe depression in depressive disorders – WOW! (Current Psychiatry Vol.8,No10,p39-47).

7 benefits of exercise:  1/ Controls weight, 2/combats health conditions/diseases heart, cholesterol, breath capacity, strength, cognition, 3/improves mood, 4/boosts energy, 5/promotes sleep, 6/increases interest and capacity for sex, 7/ fun – creativity, healthy competition, focus, endurance, social, widens interest. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise/HQ01676 .

Sleep 6-8 hours a day.  Sleep is the most powerful health promoter! It balances your brain, blood, spirit, reduces pain and inflammation.  Don’t ignore it!  Sleep is the great neutralizer and reformer.

Sleep plays an important role in learning and memory consolidation.

Sleep deprivation can result in memory loss and diminished fine motor and cognitive skills; can impede response time in crisis situations and increase psycho-emotional problems.  Lack of sleep can increase pain experience.

sleep 7-9 hours each night/get to sleep by 11pm.  School-age children need 9-10, Babies/Toddlers require 12-14 hours of sleep; Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep. For kids sleep debt can lead to an increase of restlessness, attentional, oppositionality issues

Sleep affects Cognition, learning, health, experience of pain & stress; it benefits your Spirit, Mind, and Body: http://www.mindfulparentingmag.com/2012/11/29/the-importance-of-sleep/

Habit 4: the power of community, rejuvenation, and networking

Connecting, collaborating, networking, and groups offer a special kind of balance.  Finding a space to belong, share struggles and get support increases your power in maintaining the balance in these four habits.

Studies show that women respond to stress with tend and befriend.  Connecting in ways that help with self growth and rejuvenation, work interests and social endeavors through focusing on learning or maintaining knowledge helps keep your mind healthy.

Focusing on groups that sustain your body like exercise groups or training or food.  And connecting with spiritual outlets will keep you centered and grounded.

See how you can institute these four habits today.  Enjoy, enlighten, and inspire your self, and your life in every aspect of it,  Namaste. in love and light, bg

Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON:  The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013.  www.bethgineris.com


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mindfulness and parenting revisited

Hello and Welcome

Negotiating the treacherous waters of parenting can be anxiety provoking and discouraging.

This results from both internal insecurity and external unpredictability.

Three steps will keep you in the flow and having fun as you reclaim the role of mama/papa/leader.

Step 1.  Strengthen your connection to your personal sensory guidance system.  This is the connection to the information freeway  from your five senses and your intuition.  This is information about your environment, your child, and others that assists you in making thoughtful decisions. Step 2. Trust your knowing of your child. Listen to him or her – listen with your ears, your heart, and your sensory guidance system. Step 3. Guide with strength and lovingkindness. Be self-confident and go with the flow. Be patient, kind, and firm.  Say I am sorry, and make efforts to shift your responses to best meet you child’s needs.  Model respect and trust by being respectful and trustworthy.  In all your disciplinary responses focus on learning and loving; be loving and sensitive to the multi-level issues involved, respond quickly and clearly, and use the opportunity to teach joy and strength in being a responsible person; an individual connected to a community.

To help you embrace the three steps, understanding the nature of the parenting is key.

  • Parenting is modeled.
  • This means that you learn how to parent from your interpretation of your own parenting.  This concept of learning social interactions through your group associations is a function of how the human brain develops over the first 24 years of life; and a part of what happens whenever you enter a new social group, environment.
  • What you see done is what you incorporate into doing to others and to yourself; as you age the internalized reflection of yourself becomes solidified.  Once you are into middle age the malleability of your reflection, your internalized sel-persona/picture requires a release of the accepted self and a reevaluation of ‘who you are’… due to the solidified nature of your introjected self, often this requires a traumatic event to shift your internal accepted picture of self.
  • There is a strong desire to be accepted and approved of by your significant others (beginning with moms and dads, and then moving on to peers).
  • You know who you are and how you should be treated, what you perceive as your role in relationship, from what is reflected to you by your parents, your primary caregivers, and your first social groups –> your siblings and cousins, and then your peers, friends.
  • So, if there is dysfunction or trauma or damage in those early relationships you have deficits in your ability to navigate the waters of parenting your children.

Cognitive/behavioral therapy, meditation, yoga, and mindfulness development uplevel your consciousness so that you can shift and rebalance your inner self perception and your outer actions.

Trust, be trustworthy, act with strength and kindness, be forgiving and persevering.

As you guide, be willing to incorporate new information about your child or your beliefs and make adjustments to your course to align your actions, beliefs/values, and your parenting.

Parenting is a dynamic, organic (as in living and responsive to environmental changes) process.

  • Be confident, proactive, reflective, flexible, and trustworthy in your actions and intentions.
  • Be willing to adjust your response and be flexible as you see the need to do so and be firm when you perceive this is important.
  • Respond with seriousness to serious problems, and playfulness with problems which are not serious; stay responsive and discern the difference.  in love and light, bg


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4 simple phrases return you to balance, help you remain in recovery

Hello and Welcome

Recovery is a journey rather than a destination.

Step one is to find your way to balance.

Step two is returning to balance.

The Path to Grace is a journey that cycles between these two steps.

These 4 simple phrases assist you in this recovery path, which I call the Path to Grace.

Stop, look, and listen. It is the perfect mantra to create the neutral, present moment, open-minded perspective required for moving through roadblocks. Stop the harmful behavior; look at your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions, to discern what may be underneath your resistance; listen to you heart, tone, whole language to comprehend an underlying covert message.

The attitude of gratitude. Identify the gifts of your history, your drama, and your shift into recovery. Reaffirm your choice for health.  Focus on your strengths, reframe your limitations. The attitude of gratitude creates an inner structure of resilient positive self-esteem rooted in a solid foundation.

Focus on what you want rather than what you fear. This mindful mantra directs your attention to precisely where you have power. Things feared tend to be things unknown that are out of your control. An inner locus of control puts the resilience, power to create, and basic capacity to respond to whatever comes your way into your own hands, so that you believe, have faith and have evidence that you can create what you want.

Be the Change You Wish to See in the World. This is a phrase made famous by M. Gandhi. He was interested in major social change, but this phrase is just as useful in small social worlds. Act mindfully, show respect, be loving, and compassionate as a style of being in the world.  Live your change in every cell of your being, allowing breath, faith, forgiveness, and lovingkindness direct your actions and personal relationships, beginning with your relationship with yourself.  Covey called this change Have to Be, which is to say focus on being what you want to have (Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, 1989).

Keeping these simple mantras close to your heart and mind will increase your capacity for mindfulness.  This will increase your experience of compassion, harmony, and balance in living, and keep you on the recovery Path to Grace.  Namaste, in love and light, bg


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Anti-oxidant living: Choose a path that brings you joy, in every interaction

Hello and Welcome.

Anger, fear, discouragement, and insecurity have oxidative properties to your spirit, mind and body.  When you choose a path that brings you strength, empowerment, joy, and confidence you are creating anti-oxidant properties that regenerate your cells, your thinking power, and your spiritual health.

This is a natural outcome of mindfulness and mindful meditation, focused breathwork, and heart or breath-led yoga practice.

I have a neighbor who cannot let go of any perceived injury.  She plots and plans to get back at any individual who in her mind has ‘injured’ her.  These perceived injuries feel very painful to her.  Her face carries the look of a person who has been in battle for many years; deep furrows between her brows as if in a perpetual frown, loose skin that has deep furrows around her mouth make her look as if she is angry when she is at rest.  Strangely, or perhaps understandably because she is always looking for injury, she has difficulty with any service professional who comes into her home… either she feels they are cheating her or they overcharge her or they do not correctly complete every job assigned.  This spills off onto the constant negative, fearful energy of her constantly, fearfully barking tiny dog who seems to be in a constant panic attack.  This woman actually has a great deal of prosperity in her life which she appears to not receive any comfort from.  She owns her home and another rental (of course her tenants are always taking advantage of her from her perspective), has a good job and a nice retirement pension coming her way…. yet she is not happy – she is rich in things but poor in her sense of wealth and her style of relating in the world.

This is an example of how the oxidative energy of vengefulness, anger, and dissatisfaction are wearing away at her wellbeing.  She cannot experience the comfort she actually has, and her face and body show the signs of advanced aging so that she looks older than her years.  Even when she chooses to smile the anger and dissatisfaction comes through.

This kind of energy so close to my own home can be destabilizing.  It can spill off onto my space and my interactions.  The first step in dealing with such a being is to remember that defensiveness ties you into the negative path, so use the verbal aikido methods of deflection of the tone and negative behavior, deflation of the negative energy, and then definition of how you desire to act regardless of her actions.  This is choosing the path that brings you joy

Regardless of another’s choice you are free to choose your own way.  If another indeed is harming you or injuring you with his or her actions, taking a step to set it right is good.  Do so with a lack of vengefulness or anger in your ideation, intention, and action.  This will keep your cells vibrant, your face and voice and heart glowing and bring prosperity to you.  This is healthy living and results in vibrant health in your spirit,mind, and body.

If you have been drawn in to a difficult relationship.  Give yourself a chance to re-choose and to set your intention on this joyful path.

You can always choose a different path, a different response.
Consider this if you are feeling discouraged with previous choices which turned out less than well…
When are able to act in this loving responsible way, even saying you’re sorry when you make a mistake and resetting your plan, you teach your children to be resilient, flexible and truly responsible… and you build your own inner resilience.

Choose this anti-oxidant style of living in every interaction and you will see the positive results in your health and wealth… you may even be able to turn back the hands of time in how you are aging.  Namaste, in love and light, bg


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Renewal follows destruction, The Tower and The Star

Hello and Welcome.

For those of you who follow how the stars in the heavens affect your inner pulsations and energies, this is a difficult time with Uranus and Pluto in a direct square.  Often this results in a flash of change through a flash of catastrophe  or a flash of insight like an Aha experience.  This is like the Tower card in the Tarot.Tower-Haindl

What is useful to remember is that following the Tower is the The star which is all about renewal.

First Haindl_Stardestruction or revolution and then rebuilding anew… stronger, better, with more clarity.

This process has been ongoing for a year now with two previous meetings of these planets coinciding with challenging events in our society and culture and there are four more to go over the next two years… this process is necessary; like forest fires bringing new growth and prosperity in nature, so can these traumatic and insightful shifts offer opportunities for growth and change to your societal and personal structures.

I have been in a process of deep renewal that has felt like living within the Tower card for the last two and a half months.  It has been a powerful experience to see through the fear, difficulty, and challenges to identify the irrepressible  seeds of new growth in my core self.  This process has brought to me a revolution of my core being…. how I respond to the pressures of society, group expectations, my perceived internalized values, and my personal needs; how I view my place in the world; what I perceive to be my core strengths and my core limitations; and what is the focus of my life-soul-plan.  For me, this has been a mix of  painful release, letting go – like a weeding out of misbeliefs and mis-directed strategies and a healing attraction, health promoting, and strengthening of my true authentic self and inspiration.  I have been living through the energies of a mix of the Tower and the Star – destruction and renewal.

If you have been experiencing this too, then you are aware that to move through this process with the least amount of pain and the highest degree of renewal:  What matters is how you respond to the catastrophe or insight.

The process of meditation, and mindfulness can guide you.  Accepting truth while simultaneously letting go of misbeliefs takes a willingness to focus your mindful attention and observation upon yourself.

That which causes you fear may be the key.

Make an effort to understand whether the fear is something dangerous that you must fight against or a sense of not knowing, a sense of something unfamiliar that may indeed portend a cleansing away of debris and inauthenticity and a deeper connection to your true self.

Be kind to yourself, kind and loving.  Embrace the change, go with the flow, see the beauty and the gifts in the shifting internal landscape.  This will offer you that sense of peace so that you can experience the power in the renewal and the beauty in your authentic self.

Connection to spirit is the most useful tool at this time.  Spirit in any form that has valence and meaning to you.

The following phrases can be helpful.  Jot these down to remind you of the positive power in your shifting environment.  Tether yourself so that you can feel the strength of the tree, rooted, and the height of your spirit.  Even if you are feeling pulled at your very roots like the image of the Tower know that Renewal follows and allows a rebuilding process that makes you truly stronger and more flexible.

May you live in interesting times (Robert Kennedy, 1966 originally attributed as a chinese curse but this is not corroborated in Chinese studies)

For those with much to offer, much is expected.  (To  those whom much is given, much is expected.  John F. Kennedy)

Be Grateful for the problems you have, See what gifts are set inside of them.  My own inspiration.

In the center of health is heal… pay attention to how you focus your energy.

The opposite of evil is live.  Shifting your perspective helps, heals, and creates connection.

Fear and love cannot take up the same space, choose love, choose joy, release fear and insecurity –> this allows you to live free, to call the renewal to you.  This moves you away from the pain of the destruction, the despair of destruction toward revolution and renewal.  This is the pattern of scientific, social, and personal revolutions – paradigm shifting-that creates self, relationship, and society anew.  Namaste.  in love and light, bg


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Faith vs. Fear

Hello and Welcome

Being a spirit-human, challenges you in the realms of faith and fear.  Fear is what drives your lower chakra survival mentality. Faith is what drives your upper chakra thriving spirit.   This is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid (1954, 1990) and the idea of moving from Me through I to We in how you perceive your power, relationships, and environment.

You see/experience what you believe, and you believe what you see/experience.  Fair enough.

If you feel fear but desire to shift into faith you need to activate your upper chakras and balance your lower chakras.  You can do this through intentional action.  In order to shift your perception, you have to move out of fear-based, survivalistic, limited resources perspective into a joy-based, thriver, perspective of faith.  Faith being the knowing that you will be what you desire if you do not get in your own way with fear.

Faith, love, joy expand your experience; these expand your access to creation in the positive, seeing collaborative solutions, and recognition of your full power.

Fear, hate, and despair limit your experience; these diminish your access to creation in the positive, cloud/impair  your vision, and reduce your recognition of your power and solutions.

Try this simple exercise to feel the difference.

  • frown.
  • breathe shallowly
  • look for every possible negative attribute or impediment to your desire
  • read about the many tragedies and heartbreaks in making changes
  • greet others with a negative attitude certain that they will work against you; redirect yourself to the (-)
  • at the end of 24 hours of this set of actions, note how you feel – you will notice you feel constricted, fearful, small, discouraged, heavy, tired, fatigued, and isolated – you may want to eat sugar, drink alcohol, or pick a fight with our children or partner.

Now, try this simple exercise to feel the difference

  • smile.
  • breathe deeply
  • look for every possible positive action or path to your desire
  • read about the many joyful and heart-filled experiences in making changes
  • greet others with a positive attitude, certain that they will work to your advantage; redirect yourself to the (+)
  • at the end of 24 hours of this set of actions, note how you feel – you will notice an expansion, a sense of courage, feeling bigger, joyful, light, energized, and connected – you may want to eat fruits and vegetables, whole, healthy food, to juice, eat protein, and drink water; you will have more energy to understand our child’s or partner’s needs and feel they are present for you and you are more available to them.

Faith or Fear, the choice is yours.  Albuquerque skies

The outcome is defined by which you choose – which outcome would you prefer to create?  in love and light, bg

Maslow, A.H.  Motivation and Personality. NewYork: Harper, 1954.  Gineris, B. Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness. Charleston, SC: Createspace, 2013.


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Find balance, remove fight from your vocabulary, you are left with love, acceptance and negotiation…turning me to we

Hello and welcome!

Love, Acceptance, and Negotiation…turning Me 2 We… The idea is that fighting against yourself or others removes what is necessary to flow through challenging times.  The energy of fighting shifts you away from what you need, away from your sensory guidance system; removing fight from your vocabulary helps you to access precisely what you need when you need it, so that you can shift out of any painful situation to find peace, your soul-utions, and balance.

If the challenging situation is an addiction to substances, experiences, or people in an unhealthy way – then these actions help you to remain in recovery. 4 simple phrases to return you to balance and remain in recovery.  Recovery is a journey rather than a destination.

Step one is to find your way to balance.  Step two is returning to balance.  The Path to Grace is a journey that cycles between these two steps.  Listening to your sensory guidance system, led by your spirit connection.  Removing fight from your vocabulary and focusing on love, acceptance, and negotiation helps you return to balance and flow through any difficult situation.

Try these mantras to get you to and keep you on this Path to Grace.

Stop, look, and listen. It is the perfect mantra to create the neutral, present moment, open-minded perspective required for moving through roadblocks. Stop the harmful behavior; look at your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions, to discern what may be underneath your resistance; listen to you heart, tone, whole language to comprehend an underlying covert message.

The attitude of gratitude. Identify the gifts of your history, your drama, and your shift into recovery. Reaffirm your choice for health.  Focus on your strengths, reframe your limitations. The attitude of gratitude creates an inner structure of resilient positive self-esteem rooted in a solid foundation.

Focus on what you want rather than what you fear. This mindful mantra directs your attention to precisely where you have power. Things feared tend to be things unknown that are out of your control. An inner locus of control puts the resilience, power to create, and basic capacity to respond to whatever comes your way into your own hands, so that you believe, have faith and have evidence that you can create what you want.

Be the Change You Wish to See in the World. This is a phrase made famous by M. Gandhi. He was interested in major social change, but this phrase is just as useful in small social worlds. Act mindfully, show respect, be loving, and compassionate as a style of being in the world.  Live your change in every cell of your being, allowing breath, faith, forgiveness, and lovingkindness to direct your actions and personal relationships, beginning with your relationship with yourself.

Keeping these simple mantras close to your heart and mind will increase your capacity for mindfulness; it will increase your experience of compassion, harmony, and balance in living, and keep you on the recovery Path to Grace.

Namaste, in love and light, bg


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12 step program applied to parenting

Hello and Welcome!

When you feel like a failure as a parent, or have a challenging parenting situation,

apply the 12 step program 

To shift your defeat, or discouragement to courage and healing:

1.  admit you are not perfect.

2.  recognize you are powerless to be perfect at all times with every child

3.  connect with a higher power and engage that sense of spirituality to support you.

4.  honestly reflect and identify the mistakes and flaws you bring to parenting.

5.  humbly admit to your spiritual support, partner, loyal friend – your imperfection and reaffirm your commitment to do your best.

6./7.  Reaffirm your trust in yourself and your team; Be willing and ready to shift out of the habits that do not serve you and embrace more effective styles of parenting.

8/9/10.  identify injuries or mistakes you have made; say you are sorry to your kids for these mistakes; make a commitment to not do it again; stay connected, and repeat when necessary.

11.  practice compassion, meditation, prayer and lovingkindness toward yourself and your kids.

12.  be a helper to your peer parents rather than a competitor or bully; share your positive experiences with love.

  

How to help kids do better on tests.

 Prepare:  talk about what testing is and what it really means.  Testing can help you know what you are good at and where you have limitations; allow the truth to be neutralized so it doesn’t get blown out of proportion.

Discuss (in communication, parents sometimes think that what they have to say is the most important thing – it matters, but what your child thinks/feel/and wants to say matters equally).  Listen as much as you talk when discussing.  Actively listen with your third ear to what is underneath, the meaning in the content and the energy of the words.

Deflect:  shift energy away from competition, being best, pushing ahead,  and any anxiety provoking thinking equation regarding the outcome of the test.  From what you discussed in the above section you will have identified what may be causing fears or anxieties for your child – accept this, and neutralize it, sometimes neutralization means acknowledging that the thing feared may happen; talk about that and help your child understand that he or she has the ability to respond to that situation if it happens.  This teaches empowerment and response – ability; this allows your child to accentuate his strengths and deemphasize his limitations.

Define  – clarify what is involved in testing.  Try to not say it doesn’t matter and try to not act like it is the most important thing; find a balance in how you encourage your child to do his best and be proud of what that best is.  If your child really does have a learning special need – help with that.  If she’s too revved up – teach her skills to bring to neutral or move into the next gear, which means to use the extra energy efficiently:  Teach her now that it is her responsibility to manage her special character so she can use you to help learn how to do this.  If he’s spacey and distracted – teach him to develop ways to get himself focused, or more revved up for the task:  Teach him it is his responsibility to manage his special character, so that he can find a way to embrace the whole of who he is.  He may find that special character and his solution to it, is what makes him unique and this will empower him.

Know your child.  Use your knowing to help him or her be the best he or she can be.  Don’t worry about arena or group-mind.  Trust yourself and your authentic knowing of your child to be the best judge for him or her.

Here are some simple biofeedback tricks:  stare at your hand.  Tense relax.  Mantras. Song tunes for memory training.

Importance of sleep, eating, no stress, acceptance, and esteem:  these are biological, emotional, and physical needs that when off interfere with your child doing his or her best.  Do what you can to keep these in balance.

Hope this is really helpful.  in love and light, bg


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Creating boundaries opens space for connection

Hello and Welcome!

Relationship change and growth are adventures into your heart and soul.

Relationship styles follow a developmental process from Me-style through I-style to We-style.  The Me-style of relating has diffuse and enmeshed boundaries.  Which mean the boundaries between Me and You in relationship get blurred.  The way in which a participant in a Me-style relationship makes decisions is through a need to agree with, or merge into the other to feel the connection.  This is how the co-dependence begins.  The individual in a Me-style of relating has difficulty saying No when asked to act or be in a way that is inauthentic, because the driving force is to connect at all costs including loss of self.  The picture of this kind of relationship is two halves coming together to make a whole.  So there is a lack of boundaries between the two participants.   (  )

To move into an I-style of relationship requires closing off the boundaries around yourself.  Developing a sense of yourself that is defined from within so that you can guide yourself toward your own goals.  You need to develop ways to meet your own needs and to depend on yourself.  This is both exhilarating and frightening.  Once you do this you are freer to develop into a fuller picture of yourself.  Rather than two halves making one whole you are developing a whole picture of yourself so that you can move into and I-style of relationship, two Is walking side-by-side without integration.  Connection is through a tally sheet of exchanges.  Here competition, defensiveness, and independence drive the relationship so that an individual in an I-style of relating has difficulty saying Yes when asked to create dependence or interdependence.  The fear for an individual in an I-style of relating is to become engulfed into the other and lose himself.  As with the Me-style of relationship this is a result of an insecure sense of self.  Unlike the Me-style of relationship, where the drive to be connected causes enmeshed or a lack of boundaries, in the I-style of relating the fear of enmeshment results in overly rigid boundaries.  The picture of this kind of relationship is two Is walking side-by-side, solitary selves walking next to each other without integration.  0 0

You have to develop a solid sense of yourself, deal with adversity against your picture of yourself , and create a personal relationship with yourself, to live in an I-style of relationship.  After solidifying this experience and developing a sense of trust that you will not sell yourself out, you can begin to move into a We-style of relationship.  An I-style of relationship is a stepping-stone to get to a We-style of relationship.  This is because you have to develop boundaries first (I-style) before you can be flexible with your boundaries in a dynamic way (We-style).

The interdependence of a We-style of relationship allows for strength of self and connection to other, simultaneously.  The We-style of relationship incorporates support of the individual and collective goals and needs with a dynamic, flux movement between the resources of the relationship toward whatever of these needs attention at any given time.  This requires strong boundaries and flexibility in the interdependence of the two individuals and the third aspect, the relationship or partnership.  So that rather than ½ + ½ = 1 (me-style) or 1,1 (I-style) you create a situation where 1+1 = 3, or more than the sum of its parts (we-style).  The picture of the We-style of relationship includes two wholes and a third aspect, which is the area the two individuals overlap to create the relationship vortex, o()o (view this symbol as two circles overlapping each other to create an inner vortex).

Fear can really be a block to change, embracing the attitude of adventure can reframe your fear into excitement, offering an energy or anticipation to help you to flow with the change rather than block or freeze when faced with change.

This is how boundaries work.  Boundaries create a definition.  They clarify this is me, and this is you, through defining where you end and another begins.  This clarification creates a deeper understanding of each individual and also how couples, partners or groups coexist and share goals.  From the defined individual space, the boundary, you can create the space for a sense of oneness and togetherness.

Flowing through the process of change begins with gentleness.  Boundaries assist in creating an internal container, so that you can move through a process of change more harmoniously.  Creating boundaries comes out of self-love, and love toward your partner.  The clearer you are about you and other the better you are about defining what you want and what you can give in relationship.  Boundaries increase connection.

See if you can discover in a self-affirming, authentic way the edges of you and how you integrate with your partner this will give you space to discern an interdependency that support you both and your relationship. in love and light, beth