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Two parables, Your life is what you make it.

Hello, yesterday this blog hit the number, 19000 hits.  I feel grateful to my friends and their friends who have come to check out what’s happening here.  Thank you all, in love and light, bg

So today I want to share about two proverbs.

One is Taoist:  Let Go or Be dragged.  

It is the way.  Life is dynamically changing.  Sometimes the time comes to shift a situation.  You see this often in relationship.  The relationship has come to a place where a shift is required for it to continue in a healthy manner, but the individuals don’t want to let go of the habitual way they had interacted.

Releasing each other from the habitual or routinized interaction allows for the two individuals to float up and flow with the wave of change, perhaps coming back together in a better more healthful fashion; perhaps moving away from each other and into a healthier relationship with themselves, leaving space to create a new relationship.

Holding on can result in a spinning inward of negativity that ultimately drags down the energy of the relationship until it implodes.  This is just one description of the proverb, but the idea is to go with the flow, allow the flow of the universe to guide you and to release yourself from holding on to something that does not serve you.

The other proverb is the donkey in the well fable.

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried and struggled to get out but the sides of the well were too deep and too smooth for the donkey to exit.   For hours the farmer tried to figure out what to do. He could not figure out a way to help the donkey escape.  Finally, thinking the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway.  Rather than retrieve the donkey he decided to cover up the donkey and fill the well with dirt.

 At first, when the donkey realized what was happening he cried horribly. Then, he quieted down and let out some happy brays. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well to see what was happening and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was shaking it off and taking a step up.

As the farmer continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, the donkey continued to shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

The moral to the fable is this: Life is going to shovel dirt on you. The trick to getting out of the hole you are in is to shake it off and take a step up. Every adversity can be turned into a stepping stone. The way to get out of the deepest well is by never giving up but by shaking yourself off, and taking a step up.  To do this you need to change your inner perspective, your inner attitude, your interpretation of what is and what is not.  This allows you to see your situation from a differently and allows you to find solutions and take actions that help yourself.

More than anything in life, what happens to you isn’t what matters,

What matters is how you choose to respond to what happens to you.

Your life is what you make it.  Your paradigm defines what you see and what power you perceive you have, even what power you perceive others have over you.  The donkey could have lived (and died) in the paradigm he began with in his journey into the well; but in the fable he used his observation skills and thinking to shift his perspective and paradigm to change his circumstances by using the tools given to him – the rising dirt.

Both of these parables can be interpreted in a physical way, but they are equally as applicable to psycho-emotional and spiritual circumstances that require a shift in perspective.

In the donkey circumstance the shift from victim to thriver, creating his own way to safety was a physical, psycho-emotional and spiritual shift.  This is also true when faced with a circumstance where let go or be dragged applies.

Own your life.

Wake each day renewed in your belief in your self, belief in the world around you and in the people in your life that matter.  In this way you can be centered in your attention your unexpected and habitual experiences that require a shift.

Recognize that letting go is sometimes the most loving thing you can do even if the other is unaware of the gift.

And hold true to your inner strength even when those you believe in have let you down.

Thrive.

Model thriving.  Have your thriving rub off on those around you so that the world around you, and the people around you can all shift perspective in unison to walk out of the well they have fallen into.

With deep gratitude to you, in love and light, bg


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12.21.12 renewal and transformation, Taoism, and the Avatamsaka-sutra

Hello dear friends.

I have been doing some research on Taoist principles for  a new book and I have found some amazing, powerfully enlightening information.

Taoism perceives that the originators of civilization itself are people of higher knowledge attained through extradimensional awareness … all successful original cultures are initiated and guided by people in contact with the Tao or Universal law.  Thomas Cleary

It is Cleary’s contention that from this Taoist vision, “Taoism is not, as usually thought, a product of Chinese civilization.  Rather it is the other way about – Chinese civilization was originally the product of Taoism in the sense that like all successful original cultures it was initiated and guided by people in contact with the Tao or universal law.“(The Book of Balance and Harmony, Cleary, 1989)  What a powerful concept and a perfect focus for renewal and transformation.

Thomas Cleary in his book of the translation of The Book of Balance and Harmony (1989) identifies that the Taoist movement called the Complete Reality movement was created to distinguish a practical understanding of Taoism as it had been lost over time.  Cleary writes that ” ironically, one of the most comprehensive descriptions of Taoism … can be found in a Buddhist text, the Avatamsaka-sutra or Flower Ornament Scripture,” which he said is “held to contain the totality of all religion:”

        The various methods and techniques of the enlightened adept to worldly conditions in order to liberate people.  The enlightened provoke deep faith by being in the world yet unaffected by it, just as the lotus grows in water yet water does not adhere to the lotus. 

     With extraordinary thoughts and profound talent, as cultural leaders, like magicians the enlightened manifest all the various arts and crafts of  the world, like song and dance, and conversation admired by the people.

      Some become grandees, city elders; some become merchants, caravan leaders.  Some become physicians and scientists, some become kings and officials…..   All-sided goodness abides by reality, not in a country.  Cleary, The Flower Ornament Scripture

What I love about this is how it gives a prescription for how to live in these times.

It is about how to trust your inner knowing, your internal guidance sensory system and connect to a higher wisdom and light so that you can identify and act from a universal law or truth rather than propaganda or third dimensional pulls toward power over others to feel successful.

The ebb and flow of nature and the return to balance is the way.  Living in that way, guiding your actions to be in connection to that is the highest form of instinctive medicine, balance, and harmony.

Focus on what is and the light allows that to be what is produced  or created, rather than a disconnection from self, an embracement  of self in harmony.

  • One way to find your way back to balance is to pay attention to where you feel discomfort and that can give you a clue to where you are out of balance.
  • You may also  feel, hear as another speaks or the world shifts to attend to a lack of congruence or harmony.  This is the best way to avoid following propaganda rather than the truth.

Trusting yourself, your internal sensory guidance system includes intuition and connection to extradimensional experience through mediation, visualization, and dreamwork.

Let love and your heart center be your primary, strongest guide.  Through this pathway you may find renewal and transformation in this new time of higher light and higher consciousness.in love and light bg


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Heart centered listening

Hello and Welcome!

One of my dear friends has been teaching channeling for over 25 years, Betsy-Morgan at askbetsymorgan.com.  She is remarkable in her focus and lovingkindness.  Channeling is a challenging concept.  My friend Elene Gusch, DOM has been writing about her powerful experiences in this arena for many years, elenedom.wordpress.com.  What is challenging about the idea of channeling is that it requires a fourth or fifth dimensional consciousness to fully embrace and conceptualize but we live in a three-dimensional world.  Seeing in 4-D.  This makes it so that you must have faith in what you experience if you are receiving a channeling and you must have faith in the channel if you are a listener or reader of this information.  Fourth dimensional understanding incorporates the idea that time is a relative or transitional concept this is further extended in fifth dimensional understanding.  My favorite popularization of fifth dimensional seeing is in the Men in Black 3 movie, MIB 3, 2012, in it there is a character Griffin who is a fifth dimensional being and he has the ability to see the multitude of possibilities of lifetimes that are in existence at any moment.  It is well written and does a nice job of exemplifying the fifth dimensional concept of choice, interconnections, and phenomenology.  And he focuses on truth being of the utmost importance, inner truth including intent and connection. Perception of Time and Mindfulness.

When an individual channels or receives a channeled interpretation that information is a truth, it is a possible outcome to a set of circumstances with which the person is dealing.  It is not the only outcome although there is a statistic component to how the information is interpreted.

The way through is through love and your internal centeredness in your heart.  This fits perfectly with all the various spiritual traditions that love is the way to truth, and access to this is through your heart.  Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.  Joseph Campbell.

Returning again and again to your intuition, your heart center, your breath with serve you superbly well to find you way in the world.  Even if you do not begin to receive channeled information from another spiritual source you will be guided by your heart knowing as to your best action.

just listen, by beth gineris

We are given these senses, Which we ignore.

We cringe upon meeting another, Feeling something negative in their field,

Rather than listening, We become friends,  Only to be deceived, and hurt.

We have these senses, Instinctive,

To assist us on our journey through life, Cueing and guiding us.

Yet we ignore, Using override, our analytical emotional Mind, to direct us.

Our mind errs, tricked by stories, Through habit and automation,

Through the lens of our historical experiences, our indoctrination.

Our senses are true,  Instinctive.

These six senses,  Our earliest tools, before language,Guide us through sensations that are connected to knowings.

Denying their guidance

Blocks our capacity, Blocks our ease in movement, through the minefield of life.

Listen – Feel – Be – Know.

Allow your internal sensory system to guide you,  and you, will know bliss.

Mind is always looking for the conflict, the argument,

The proof.  The condemnation.

Our senses just report,

Neutral, real, unsullied information, Guidance, go here not there, turn left, look.

It’s all right there, At the beginning,   In the first meeting,

The first, interaction.  The first blink of your eye, The entire story presented,  Moral, and all.

Don’t look for proof

Accept and act. Let your heart lead.  Your heart knows. Return to your inner guide. Your heart knows, hears the notes, Perfect and true.

Let your mind follow your heart-knowing.  The instinct that aligns us to spirit  Connects us to the symphony of life.

Use your mind to create what your heart wants.

You will hear your song melodious.  Toning in perfect pitch,

Humming through you,  Vibrating pure joy.  copyright, all rights reserved, no copy without permission from bgineris, 2012

Inner Sight Revealed, by beth gineris

Signposts of solace, Within the massive chaos of inner sight. Bombarding visions and feel-knowings at once.

Self lost, Understanding short-circuited, Caught like a doe in the headlights of an oncoming car,  Frozen,  Fear rising, interrupting discernment.

Distant image of streams layered,  Streams of knowings,  Streams of consciousness.  Layers at once, jam the transmission,   The information garbled and incoherent.

Focus on the flow,  Ocean currents in opposite directions,  Layered but distinct,  Distinguishing tenor, energy, quality.   Each descriptive system whole,  Connected within space-time,  Separated but Equal.

Breath and allowing are the friends to sight.  Fear, and holding, inner sight’s enemy.  Swimming through,  Balancing,  Viewing from within.  Clarifying with subtle refinement.  Perception of distinct boundaries in each layer,  Each stream of consciousness.

Discernment, clear sight revealed,  Requires subtleness,  Light handedness.  Rising sheers define the boundaries.  Lightly drilling in to each,  Gathering definition, and information.  Seeing many at once,  Gently bringing into the fore, one stream,  Allowing it to recede, while another advances.  Lightly Receiving.  Accepting the shift without a need to name or push it.

Inner sight is instinctive,  Whole,  Available to anyone, who allows.  Bounded between each stream,  And between the seer and the stream,  Centered source illumination.  copyright, all rights reserved, no copy without permission from bgineris, 2012

Go into your heart, feel love, apply love to whatever situation with which you are struggling and your truth, your answer, will present itself in a quiet clear voice, listen with your heart and then apply your mind to create what your heart hears… Namaste, bg


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Practice the art of verbal Aikido

Hello

When I was a young Psychiatric Aide on a Locked Psychiatric unit in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I had a very good friend, also a Psychiatric Aide, who was a master at the practice of the Japanese Martial Art of Aikido.  He was superb at handling any physical attack, without injury to himself and with the least degree of injury to others.

Here is an example:

A young man who had stopped taking his antipsychotic medicine began to lose control of his thinking and behavior, his touch with reality was slipping away and he thought he was being attacked.  My friend asked him to go into the quiet room (a padded room that protects the individual from hurting himself and others when out of control).  The patient felt attacked by my gentle friend’s request, he became enraged and began to throw at my friend any thing that his hand touched – chairs, tables, lamps – my friend simply and easily shifted the energy of each piece of furniture and dropped it beside him, protecting the other patients and deflecting the negative energy, lightly and firmly moving toward the out of control young man.  His movements were gentle, clarified, and precise – lightly deflecting the energy while deftly responding to the needs of the entire room.  Once he entered the physical space of the out of control young man he quickly and without harm immobilized his flailing arms, and with kindness and gentleness he walked him to the quiet room.

His precision at shifting the energy of the flying furniture had the effect of de-escalating the damage in the situation to himself, the out of control patient, and the other patients.  It created a sense of calm and control that was soothing.  It brought everything to a neutral space so that injury was avoided.

The art of verbal Aikido is a metaphor for utilizing the same strategies in handling verbal attack.  The majority of miscommunication and arguments are a result of charged interpretation of other’s dialogue, where another person interprets your statements as barbs thrown and so reacts defensively, or vice versa.

Responding to another’s attack via mindfulness increases your neutrality and clarity in what underlies the negative communication.  Simply deflecting the negative statement and deflating the negative energy to shift the interaction.

Practicing the Art of Verbal Aikido has three steps:

  • First, deflect the negative tone, and tenor, by simply responding to the actual content with neutral responsive content.
  • Second, deflate the negativity by reiterating your intended meaning through clarification and compassionate interest in how your communication was interpreted.  Then clarify the intended meaning and take responsibility for not being more clear in your first communication.
  • Third, if the communication escalates, continue with steps 2, and 3, with a gentle, kind, precise and light manner – avoid sarcasm, condescension and a down-putting tone.

Then you are free to find a solution or agree to disagree without malice or charge.

You only have power over your own actions.  You cannot change another person’s attitude, position or behavior, you can only offer a space for another to shift his perspective on his own.  You have control over your own actions, behaviors and attitudes, responses.  If the other person chooses to find you offensive and react defensively, you have power to maintain your mindfulness.

The most mindful and loving response in a situation where another is angry is to not take on his anger, not react to it and join-in, on the negative interpretation, the fighting back or proving argumentative tone or attitude.

Create a visual image of yourself lightly deflecting the flying furniture and placing it on the ground; or an image of another’s charged words as sufficiently solid that you can observe yourself deflecting them or moving your energy so you are not hit by the negative barb in the words.  Think of a Jackie Chan movie, see yourself in slow motion deftly avoiding what is thrown your way, while simultaneously smiling and gently reaching out an olive branch toward connection and understanding.

This is the practice of verbal Aikido and it will increase the level of peace you experience in your relationships.

It is the most healing response to conflicting perspectives and offers a direct pathway to uplevel consciousness. in love and light,bg


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Covey’s Win-Win or No Deal, and a word about psychopaths

Greetings !

I just returned from an amazing event that offered an elevated example of how groups can indeed find agreement and harmony through a concerted effort to focus energies on the thread of connecting and similar thought and a commitment to upleveling consciousness.

The focus of seeing where there is agreement and to honor a partnership of love, offered a perfect starting point for compassionate mindfulness.  Several politically and culturally diverse groups came together in harmony without the need to compete, push their agenda or malign the others.  I  observed individuals who typically lived in a way that required them to push their ‘rightness’ shift and search for a way to meaningfully connect and open to the ways in which others were ‘right’ too, or at least where there was agreement in broad terms.  Through this openness there was a transformation and increase in consciousness and light that vibrated at a higher frequency; a stable threshold opened for 48 hours creating an environment that was indeed a bit like the description at the end of the Celestine Prophecy (Redfield 1993) wherein the protagonist simply vibrated into a different dimension or the Star Trek Next Generation episode where the doctor’s friend simply evolved in front of her eyes into pure light energy.  It was amazing.

I left considering the implications of such an evolution of consciousness toward the concept of one world.  I visualized and fantasized about how this could be a view into what was to come in the new generation, an evolution of spiritual and cognitive consciousness for the embracement or inclusion of all of humanity and the planet.

Mindfulness, compassion, paradigm shifting and sincere, open-minded interest and focus on looking for a way to truly create a consensus that is driven by love and understanding is the most effective way to create success in partnerships – to truly embrace the space of “we”.

I observed something else which I had not anticipated.  There are those who cannot do this.  There are individuals who use mindfulness, and the words of compassion or understanding as a manipulation to trick others into vulnerability.  This was something I had previously understood was a reality, but had not considered in my writings on the application of mindfulness.

As a therapist I would use the term psychopathic to describe this kind of behavior.  A psychopath is an individual who is devoid of a conscience.  He or she manipulates the chosen target against him or herself.  The psychopath has no real internal experience of guilt or shame, but manipulates the normal aspect of guilt in others to manipulate them to act in ways that suit the needs of the psychopath.  An individual with this style of relating in the world can shift their exterior behavior, continence, tone, and words to appear as if he or she is something he or she is not.  This type of personality structure does not have the interior strength or flexibility to evolve his or her consciousness and so simply observes and imitates without a real or true internal shift.

When considering mindfulness and its application toward parenting or partnering you must be able to discern when you are dealing with a psychopath.  When this is the case it is best to follow the words of Stephen Covey in his book The  7 Habits of Highly Effective People:  win-win or no deal(Covey, 1989).  This is to say when you are interacting with a psychopath the habit of mindfulness and focusing on where you agree and the concept of win-win is unattainable as a psychopath is unable to move into a true “we” relationship.  A psychopath is “I” only and therefore unable to negotiate in an honest and fair fashion.

Covey wrote when you cannot find a place of win-win then it is most effective to choose no-deal(Covey, 1989).  This is to say using mindfulness can assist you to discern what another wants and seek to understand the other but when you are interacting with a psychopath once you understand the other is unable to create a win-win (a negotiated perspective that includes both parties needs/wants) you are best to choose no-deal.  This no-deal concept can look like a termination of the relationship or in the case of someone with whom you must continue to interact (like a divorced parent of your child) it can look like an acceptance that there can be no “we” so negotiation is from an “I” to “I” experience, where you seek to simply create what is most effective for you and any other party involved ( like your child) but not get into a discussion of an integrated “we” with the psychopathic personality.

Once you have discerned you are dealing with a psychopath you must take care to not let him or her “play” on your emotional fears, concerns, or feelings of guilt to manipulate you toward his or her goals.  This is a different form of mindfulness it utilizes compassion and understanding so that the actions, words, and behaviors you choose are without malice, but they incorporate the full and complete understanding of the other person’s true lack of capacity for “we”.

Here are a few simple guideposts to assist you in discerning if you are interacting with a psychopath:

  • He or she acts dramatically different in specific situations.
  • He or she has a chameleon quality and can take on a persona that is expected to be accepted.
  • He or she utilizes your feelings of guilt or desire to be kind, helpful and the bigger person to get you to forgive him or her and give him or her another chance.
  • When a third-party is involved in mediation or evaluation, he or she is able to manipulate the third-party to agree with him or her against you – even once you have shared your concerns.
  • He or she never takes true responsibility for any negative behavior inflicted upon you and deflects such to some element of you.
  • He or she changes his or her continence to get his or her way including mimicking words and emotional behavior .

Finally, it is important to use your internal guidance system, your neutral, mindful, observation powers to discern whether you are interacting with someone who is honestly and sincerely communicating with you.  Notice whether his or her actions, behavior, and words are in congruence.

Pay closest attention to the subtle, small things as this is where the psychopath’s true consciousness and intentions will be shown.

I can feel that the energy of how partnership and collaboration is evolving.  It is moving toward a higher degree of spiritual oneness.  As this shift continues to develop focus your energy on interactions that will be fruitful, loving, and increase the value of your world. Give yourself permission to use your mindfulness to discern the capacity for partnership and focus your energies on those who are also working toward the thread of compassion and love and “we”ness.

Having had this moment of perfection over this last weekend my heart is on fire with the joy that awaits in our near future as a community of “we” on this amazing planet.  It starts with each one of us, love, compassion, open-minded neutral mindfulness, and focused attention toward harmony and balance. in love and light Namaste, beth


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when I look into my daughter’s eyes I see the change

Hello and welcome!

Parenting offers the chance to rewrite history.  It gives you the chance to choose which aspect of your childhood you want to model for your children and which aspect you want to change.

Be –ing the change you wish to see in the world requires an understanding of what interferes with your own joy and what limits your consciousness.

You can use this knowledge as your guide toward mindfulness.  An awareness of differing perspectives creates the space to embrace paradigm shifting to increase awareness and find connecting points.

As you practice this you will discover that you are drawn to connecting and solving problems devoid of hate and anger, proof and defensiveness.

This can be applied to every aspect of your life including from how you consume, to how your model relationships and partnerships,  to how you parent.

The inner and outward congruence of joy, forgiveness, compassion, and real interest or curiosity in the other leads to real power to change not only your world and sphere of influence but the world.

Happiness is a state of mind – it reflects your inner capacity to be the best you can be.

I am grateful at this time in my life to see this gentle, mindful, compassionate, strength, and sense of empowerment in both my son and my daughter.  I feel joy in my own release from the prison of proof and defensiveness that separates humans, and gratefulness in the path chosen by my children.

Look into your children’s eyes see that joy and empowerment.  This is how you can change the world, by modeling your commitment to practice mindfulness and compassion in your interactions and parenting.

Just as water through its persevering flow along a crevice can create a canyon, so too can you transform your environment through this gentle, persevering pressure of mindfulness, compassion and non-violence.

First you must see it in your mind’s eye then you can create it and see it reflected all around you.

To increase your capacity for mindfulness, compassion, forgiveness, and non-violence practice Yoga, prayer, meditation, internal paradigm shifting, listening to understand before speaking to prove, through these practices, in time, your will shift your perspective and through this your words and actions.  Namaste, in love and light, beth


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The four agreements, plus one: life in balance

Hello and Welcome!  Many years ago a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz was released.  It spoke to me.  I thought it was a must-have for everyone I knew.  It had this simple message to live with integrity and to live in a way that centers internally, harmony with your inner knowing, speech and actions.  I felt the simplicity was perfect and that it was written with clarity to guide anyone who chose to read it toward a centered, existentially responsible style of living.

The agreements he wrote about are simply:

  1. Be Impeccable with your Word
  2. Don’t Take anything Personally
  3. Don’t Make Assumptions
  4. Always Do your Best

It was my holiday gift that year to every one of my family members, and all the people that mattered to me.  I wanted to share this truth with everyone, because I thought it would assist them in upleveling their consciousness.  I felt it held information that would unlock the prisons in which people lived.

I was a younger therapist then – enthusiastic, earnest, passionate – I really wanted to make a difference and change the world.   I gave this book in this way with heartfelt love, and a deep desire to help.  I thought it held a treasure worth more than a typical holiday gift because it offered freedom and a deep inner peace.

I am pretty sure none of these important people in my life read that book, at least not that year.  For whatever reason it wasn’t the time for that kind of transformation then.

This had been the story of my life, for many years; I could see the way but what spoke to me so clearly did not always speak to others.

Over the years I have had unusual success as a therapist through my neutral clarity, and compassionate communications.  Those who have chosen to seek my guidance have discovered a wealth of effective, compassionate, and life-changing counsel.  Recently, I have noticed that those in my inner circle are too experiencing the positive effect of my writing and guidance… this is a sweet gift to witness the positive growth and happiness of those I deeply love.

Reference to the four agreements are also on the rise in spiritual teachings,  in Yoga articles, and other pieces on spiritual growth.   Perhaps the time is now, for a more comprehensive alignment to take place.  I noticed in these references that there is a new book which identifies a new agreement:

5.  Be skeptical, but learn to listen.

So apt for the capping to the first four – it aligns the focus even further within, it allows for a deeper inner review and a consolidated expression of love, acceptance, mindfulness, and responsibility for knowledge, speech and action.

For me these simple statements refocus power and energy within; they are the opposite of projection and divisiveness.

These four agreements, plus one, are an easy way to center yourself and focus your energy where you actual have power, in the here and now and within yourself.  The energy behind these agreements is to shift your focus and awareness inward, with integrity in speech and action, while through self-love and compassionate action toward others you can increase your mindfulness.

Here is a lovely site about this work and more information about how to use these four agreements to guide your life, http://www.toltecspirit.com/.

And remember be skeptical – listen with your inner ear and through your internal sensory guidance system of five plus one senses, seeing in 4-D.  In this way you will be in the driver’s seat of your life and creating precisely what you want and consciously mean to create.  in love and light, beth


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Model critical thinking, eschew propaganda

Hello and Welcome!

Having a long history in the study of human behavior I am intimately aware of the strong urge and pull toward following the group.  Simply observing toddlers in preschool, young children in elementary school or witnessing the popular movement of music, clothing, and behavior of high school and young adulthood results in the observation that the in-group in society telegraphs to the human psyche how to be, what to think, who to follow and what will keep you in the clique.

This is built into the developmental structure of humans.

This draw to follow the group mind and to be inculcated into belief systems is the basis of societal strength.  Unfortunately it can become the downfall of society over time and can become a tool to control people without their overt knowledge.

In the 1960’s psychologists studied university students to discover if an individual will follow the group and conform under various conditions.  It was called the Asch Experiment (Wikipedia).   And what they found was that when students were presented with a group of peers who offered the incorrect response they conformed to answer with the incorrect answer 75% of the time for at least one answer.

Also in the 1960’s psychologists studied whether a person would act against his or her own inner sense that something was wrong when told by an authority person or person in a position of power  that it was necessary to act in this way against that subject’s inner sense that something was wrong.  This was called the Milgram Experiment (Wikipedia).  This study’s results provided serious information that seemingly “good people” with reasonable skills to evaluate the serious negative effects of an act would still follow through with causing harm to another person when told by an authority person (person in a position of power) that it was necessary and deferred responses to the effects of their actions.

The best way to avoid this is to use critical thinking in all of your decision-making.  Critical thinking questions the basis of your belief systems and the underpinnings of powerful people’s opinions and positions.  Rather then saying I agree with that icon, hero, politician, or cool person, critical thinking encourages an inner dialogue that questions why do I agree and what does that statement, philosophy, or belief system mean down and up-stream.  This increases an individual’s chance to be congruent in his beliefs and it increases the specific individual freedom and empowerment that person can experience in his life course and development.

What is popular is not always what is best for a society.  How those in power get their message out is a through subtle coercion.  All groups have rules of inclusion and exclusion.  The human goal is to feel included, liked, accepted and specifically to be part of the cool in-group.

A great tool is to pay attention when you feel you are being pulled along a flow toward something as if it is the only answer and that feeling is a pressure from the outside, cool in-group, not from an internal sense of knowing from within.  This is a cue that you are caught up in something that may have propaganda in it.

When individuals become overly stressed or lack critical thinking they accept propaganda as truth, swallowing it whole.  This is a shortcut due to stress or due to an unearned trust toward the group or those in power, thinking thay are indeed going to direct the society to the society as a whole‘s best interest.

Sociological theory and psychological theory, both, have shown that under various conditions those in power want to maintain that power.  Power is the means to make money.   The place wherein there is little critical thinking with respect to how groups are using propaganda to promote their money-making opportunities is through marketing, media, and what is cool.

The best response to your environment is to use your own critical thinking skills to evaluate the truth of what is being said.  Examine how you know it is true, without accepting whole what someone says whom you perceive as a guru, leader, hero, or cool person.

There is power in being famous, this is related to the latent pull to follow the leader of the group.  Following what a famous person says or does gives your psyche the sense that you are somehow connected to them, which feeds that hidden inner pull to conform and align with the group.

This is precisely the process that allows for odd or different children to be bullied in school.  The cool person or the person perceived to have power, is followed, rather than an individual standing up and saying that it is wrong,  or simply standing with the odd or different child.  The latent quiet allowing of maltreatment for fear that the maltreatment may be directed at yourself is a way the in-group wields control.

There is a small set of individuals who choose to go outside of the norm.  Sometimes this is someone who is following his inner sense of what is right.  This small set of individuals can stem the flow of the propaganda.  There is risk to this individual as he is often attacked.  The first response of a powerful in-group toward this individual is to focus a spotlight on this set of individuals, to discredit them, and to divide and conquer the opportunity for like-minded people to collaborate or simply dialogue about other ways to behave.

Your critical thinking skills can best guide you.  And the more you use these and model to your child their use, the more your child will use these.  It is in this way that bullying, subtle power coercion, control through group-mind, and propaganda will be extinguished.

Innovation is a natural by-product of critical thinking.  It comes as a result of questioning:

  • is that statement true?
  • how do I know the belief or statement is true from my own experience?
  • and what is the other side’s argument and how is it true?
  • what might be the reward for the person in power to deny the truth?
  • what is wrong with a statement or belief?
  • or what needs to be changed in a situation or environment?

Critical thinking is mindfulness.

The force through which someone states a thing is not truth.  Truth is.  And truth can be felt as an internal alignment – not in the agreement to the belief – but in an integration of the truth of all the positions and how that truth lines up.  It is an internal heart sense and has a lightness to it not a loud booming voice.  The latter is just a technique of coercion.  The more punch and loudness in the argument the less critical thinking.

Critical thinking allows for the truth of all the sides to be accepted and incorporated into the solution or belief system.

  • Subjectivity is loud, forceful, emotional, and pulls to accept, it blocks mindfulness and the critical evaluation of all sides.
  • Objectivity is quiet, light, and non-emotional, it has an opening to reveal the truth of all sides.

Discover your truth through critical thinking and mindfulness.  Model this behavior and thinking style for your children.  This will result in bringing to light propaganda so that real solutions can be found to the difficult problems facing you.in love and light, beth


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Know thyself, know your partner, use mindfulness

Hello and Welcome!  Partnering is one of the most important and trickiest of ventures.  I have been watching partners break apart for years but recently I have been noticing an interesting pattern.

Agreements are set down in relationship, I’ll do this for you, you do this for me.  This is part and parcel to developing partnerships.  These can be explicit or implicit but they are there.

Pay attention to what you agree to implicitly.  When relationships break apart the more the agreements were implicit the more there is disagreement about the agreement.  The less spelled-out, clarified, identified the equation of exchange,  the more each party puts his or her own spin on the particular exchange components/expectations.  This is especially true in partnerships where one party gets a lot of recognition for what perhaps both parties are doing.

This is usually a power exchange.  I will do this to promote you and you do this to promote me.  The one who doesn’t get the recognition feels betrayed but it is difficult to really get to what the true exchange was.

These agreements may be spiritual, emotional, or physical.  Problems develop on both sides, if the individual who gets more recognition is truly depending on the less-recognized partner to make it happen, that person stops doing what is required or leaves and takes that work with him, then, the person who is getting the recognition is left unable to move forward and looks a bit like a fraud.

From the less recognized perspective if the person getting the recognition is able to use that to move into another position and doesn’t take the less recognized partner with him, then, the person who has actually been doing the work may be left with nothing.

The place where this is most painful is when someone is exchanging his hard work to simply receive love.  This is a more spiritual agreement that is broken and injures the person who sees the love leave with the partner.

Identify what you see, feel, hear, want to give and get out of the relationship.  When creating partnerships, avoid making assumptions that you and your partner have the same understanding about your participation and outcome.

Know yourself, know your partner, use mindfulness.

  • Be prepared to have a full and complete conversation about what you desire from and give to the partnership.
  • Look underneath the surface of what your partner is offering – pay attention to what you see has happened previously with that person, in relationship.  Do not presume that if he has historically abandoned his partner that he will be different with you – unless you are aware of a fundamental experience in that person’s life that supports a fundamental change in relating.
  • Personally evaluate your true intention and agenda in the partnership.
  • Be open to the fact that you and your partner are dynamic and therefore your, or your partner’s, needs, expectations, and capacities may change over time.
  • Keep the conversation going, check in on a quarterly basis and make adjustments.

These actions may not keep the partnership going, but you will have a dissolution when and under circumstances that promote your and your partner’s health rather than injury.  in love and light, beth


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Collaboration, coolness, and the evolution of consciousness

Hello and Welcome!  In Hippies, Hipsters and Hypnotic distortion, blog 6.11.12 two important tips were discussed in assisting your children by instilling your values and maintaining open communication lines,  the third tip is to consider how dynamic society is.  This means that as generations grow they effect change and are faced with different issues to tackle and work through then those previous.  So movement forward will be a multilevel combination of values, expectation, experience, opportunity, and survival/thriving requirements.

Because of the growing global interconnections of society, even basic ideas of how to proceed may require an internal focus within yourself, and your child’s environment, to uplevel consciousness away from the concept of competition for limited resources to a form of collaboration and movement through issues with a win-win perspective.

A shift toward collaboration isn’t taking something from the one who has it and giving it to the one who doesn’t but rather seeing our whole community as one world and each person finding his or her place within the teamwork and framework of collaboration and then working together to actually create equality and equity from an internally focused and guided collective of truth.

The next level of consciousness includes a re-invention of how Cool, and Hip are developed in society – a shift to placing this identification solidly  within the quadrants of what is valuable and valued – away from marketing propaganda, focus on materialistic, money and fame, away from the movie-star, rock-star, politician cool – to something that will increase the opportunity for your child to create prosperity that is based in an integration of spirit, mind, and body – rather than limited resources and winning the game.

This would shift the form and idea of coolness away from ways to be in opposition from the previous generation or others to form and ideas of ways to be in sync –   health, kindness, compassion, understanding, doing the right thing rather than getting away with something.  Actually living congruently, growing our communities organically not just with natural resources shared but with collaborative intention and attention to all aspects of our community.  Children would be the center not in the narcissistic, permissive style of earlier generations but in the solid growth promoting way of creating strength and stability through dependability, interdependence and trust.

For the continuation of our planet and community, mothering and parenting deserve a higher spot on the value ladder and a more valued place in the life of an adult. Caring, acting in a compassionate manner, forgiving and understanding through compassion – eating healthfully, exercising mind, body and spirit in a holistic fashion all ways in which the human race can increase longevity , uplevel consciousness, and work toward utilizing natural resources more efficiently and effectively.

These things have to shift – Escaping in alcohol, drugs, sex not connected to the whole human being, lack of self-care, and being taken care of , and a lack of moving through the whole life cycle and relationship interchange (or pushing children into the roles of parents and sexual objects.)  These behaviors need to be extinguished through a natural internal understanding that they are not productive and not in line with what is cool.

Right now an example of what is being encouraged through the hip movement is by the time a girl is in fourth grade she is talking about sex and wearing overtly sexual clothing, – music is about sex, drugs, and crime, grabbing power however you can; the goals of young people are to be like movie stars, make money quick and buy, buy, buy.

There isn’t a sense of what is my best skill or talent – what am I here to do; – spirituality and especially the Judeo-Christian religion is out and uncool.  Doing the right thing is seen as weak.  Being kind = weak.  Doing drugs, getting high, drinking too much = cool.  Getting in trouble with the law = cool.  This pressure to be part of the group is inherent in the human psyche – to create being part of the group as damaging to yourself and unfocused with a lack of spirituality is to deny two parts of the human condition, mind and spirit to be left with only one part guiding human action body through pleasure and pain.

We need a new vision, a new set of goals, new air to breathe and definitely a new generation to lead us out of the sixties and into a new collaborative, loving, powerful strong consciousness of health and sustainability.  Change, leaning forward, and evolution are all important foci for the future but the definitions must include integration of spirit, mind and body if we are to have a society that survives and thrives.

I am really excited to see how this unfolds.  We are on the brink of creating something truly beautiful – especially if we all work together in love with mindfulness, and with compassion, and an eye to collaboration.  in love and light, namaste, beth