InstinctiveHealthParenting4U

Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.

Category Archives: Paradigm shifting


by Leave a comment

leadership and inner strength of will

Hello! Welcome and thanks for your interest and support!

Leadership and will are strongly connected.  How the will within is communicated and utilized is different with different leadership styles.

Will without heart can lead to a hollow and disconnected success, and it is also the way to dictatorship.

This can look like a person who drags others forward toward a goal regardless of the consequences.  Propaganda, divisive rhetoric, and shoulds and should nots are some of the mechanisms involved in this style of leadership.

Heart without will results in partially developed ideas that swirl around a person but cannot be fully manifested, and this can look like anarchy.

This leadership style has a tendency to be reactive and emotional without a deeper understanding of the complicated factors encompassing the need and end result required.  Will is the element that simultaneously presses-on, pushes-through to create the change as well as sees the bigger picture that incorporates the whole of the problem.   So heart without that will component results in a lot of emotional smoke without a real transformation – think of the picture of the Peanuts character Linus surrounded by the grey cloud; – all that this leader can see is what is inside his head; he is unable to transform his concerns or ideas into something that can create change, or move a community beyond the vague sense of discontent.

Will and heart together are the best aspects of a powerful, intentional, and transformative leader.  These together allow for individual needs and community needs both being attended to in equal measure, and this can look collaborative and consensus in nature, not a dictatorship or anarchist.

The quality of everything we do: our physical actions, our verbal actions, and even our mental actions, depends on our motivation. That’s why it’s important for us to examine our motivation in our day to day life. If we cultivate respect for others and our motivation is sincere, if we develop a genuine concern for others’ well-being, then all our actions will be positive.  Dalai Lama

So what matters in this heart and will connection in leadership is attention (present-mindful-focus), and intention (compassionate, loving win-win motivation); caring for others even those with whom you disagree and a focus on mindful, present moment dialogue and action together toward the enhancement of all.

Leadership via collaboration is something more than facilitation of other’s needs.  It is not just a separate role of listening and then divining what the group desires –  it includes an inner strength of will, and an inner set of principles that are at the heart and will of the need and the solution.  It is a spiraling process of involution and evolution allowing for the various aspects of the problem and solution to be identified and incorporated.

Leadership is one of the most human of actions.  It incorporates a person’s ability to be altruistic while simultaneously incorporating individual needs.

Hermann Hesse wrote many novels in which he studied the human condition.  In Siddhartha, and Magister Ludi which was published posthumously (also published under The Glass Bead Game) he described the individual search for authenticity, self-knowledge and spirituality.  He also looked at the issues of individual needs versus needs of the group. His work has a lasting quality of important information for anyone seeking to develop an internal strength of will informed by a powerful heart-based internal guidance system.  Understanding how and in what ways individual and group rights and responsibilities interplay is a foundational aspect for effective leadership.

M. Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, and Martin Luther King, jr are representative of this kind of leadership as were the non-religious-biased actions of Jesus and Buddha.  These men described a way of thinking and being as well as taking personal actions that were will and heart integrated to assist in the evolution of the spiritual consciousness of the environments in which they lived.  These are not the only leaders who have integrated will and heart to create change however these are leaders that are well-known to this generation.  Daw Aung San Suu Kyi of Burma (Myanmar) has been practicing this type of leadership to help transform her country throughout the last thirty years.

This idea of change is not owned by any political party, country, or religion it is a way of thinking and being that is directly guided by an integrated inner strength of will strongly influenced by a heart-based internal guidance system.  For this system of leadership to be effective and for the profound good of all it cannot be biased by any ideology that is not connected to a genuine caring, compassionate, mindful, lovingkindness toward others, self and community.

You can create the change your group or community needs by integrating your heart and will so that you act from an inner strength of will informed by your heart-based internal guidance system.

You can develop your powerful leadership skills by simply focusing on listening and hearing in an open, evaluative, interested way, guided by your inner strength of will and heart-based internal guidance system, with the goal that best serves the community and the individual together.

For this to be successful and effective you have to:

This information is the focus of the essays throughout this month through May 20,2012.

Be the change you wish to see in the world – Gandhi). Be a leader.   Start today by re-focusing your attention and intention to create what you recognize you, and your community, need for health and success.

This information is shared with so much love for you all.  Beth


by 3 Comments

My experience with inner sight

Hello and Welcome!  I thought it might be useful to write about what happens when I receive information from source that I have no basis to know – some people call this channeling, others call it psychic, Jungians think of it as connecting with the collective unconscious – it is a type of inner sight.

For me this experience has been like breathing – an internal see-knowing that is sometimes accompanied with language and verbal information about others with whom I am in relationship or have an important connection.  I say it is like breathing because it is something that requires no direct attention – we breathe without focus on our breathing, unless in meditation or directed to do something different with our breath. So for me it is the same I breathe, I know or I see-know.

This has happened throughout my life – knowing information about others, often before or  without the other speaking the information to me.  It has served me extraordinarily well as a therapist and acupuncturist – as I am able to have access to more information when assisting in another’s healing process.  It has been problematic with friends and relationships as I have found that sometimes I am privy to information hidden from  that person by himself or herself and so the response to my identification and connection with it can be… less than positive.  I have had to learn to manage this “gift” of inner sight.

And in learning to manage it I have also developed my skills at accessing the information in a directed way – a dear friend of mine, Betsy-Morgan Coffman,  has assisted me in developing this more direct contact so that I may have a sense of control.  I am cautious to use the term control, as it has a negative connotation to it.  I use it here because for much of my life the information that I received I had no control over at all – it would present itself at the most inopportune times and sometimes when either I really did not want to know the information or the other did not want me to know the information.  I felt more accosted by this gift than grateful.  And this continues to happen now.  However through focused development I have also learned to access this inner sight at the request of others.  And this has increased my positive, grateful, relationship with my gift.

When the information comes it is a see-knowing; a picture with words and energy imprint; it is like a flashback of information that is multi-level but has no personal charge.  Let me give an example:  When I review my living room in my mind’s eye I see each piece of furniture or knickknack and each has a charge of personal story to it as well as a picture of placement and form in space.  When I receive the information it is a similar thing in that there is a picture, placement and story including identified emotions but I do not actually feel the charge of the emotion of the story.  This difference, this lack of personal emotional charge, cues me to know I am receiving information about another’s experience rather than a remnant from my own life.

When I experience information about something that is currently happening physically with someone then I actually feel it in my body but it is as if I am a mirror.. so if I feel it on my right side it is in the person’s left and if I feel it in an organ then this is generally that organ.  And over time I have developed an understanding of how the pain feels relates to the kind of disorder with which the person is dealing – cancer for example has a very distinctive quality. Obviously I have to be able to distinguish between my own pain and that which I am receiving through inner sight so I need to have a clear picture of what is me and what is other.

When I was a young person, I did not know what was me and what was other.  I had a very confusing painful childhood; my way through was to learn to clear the pain and as I cleared it through my self then I cleared it through the significant other.  I believe my faith and connection to source was invaluable in saving me from insanity, or rather directing me toward mindfulness, compassion, lovingkindness and healing.  It did however take a while to understand.  In my twenties as a counselor I learned to simply trust the sight, act from the knowing and not directly share how I knew – not with those I was helping nor my supervisors.  In my thirties I began to get assistance with developing my gift and over the last few years I have begun to openly share my experience and offer my assistance directly.

I have written poems describing the experience.  It has helped me to define how to see through the multi-level inner layers of sight.

I feel at peace now with it and am grateful for this gift.

I share this in hopes that in reading this you may feel empowered to not cover over your true self out of fear or harm or ridicule or simply out of a lack of confidence and may be supported by these words, to reveal yourself to those you truly love and stand in the center of  your true self.

We each have amazing gifts, unique and empowering.  If you allow yourself to act from your heart center and be guided by your internal sensory guidance system you can transform obstructive, negative situations and create the life you want.

Embrace your true and full self; it may take a shift in perspective, it may take a willingness to accept yourself at a level you have not allowed before… your ability to accept yourself and treat yourself with love is directly related to your capacity to receive love…

in peace and joy, love and light, Beth


by 4 Comments

inner guidance IV

Hello and Welcome!  I love the name of this post because it could be read inner guidance intravenous (IV) and I think that is the whole thing in a nut shell.  Infuse yourself with your own inner guidance and your cells will swell with real joy, strength and the necessary resources to create anything you desire.

Remember two things:   that mindfulness, compassion, and love are your best tools AND following your inner guidance simultaneously supports you and your community.  This is a different notion than scarcity of resources where competition for resources is required – this notion is that inner guidance will increase opportunity for all.  The idea of taking from another to fill your pocket keeps you in the duality that results from the concept of scarcity of resources.

Opening to your inner guidance increases trust and faith so that you are able to see how you and your community can prosper and uplevel together, not one over the other.

The more you can see another person’s point of view through mindfulness–> the more increased your understanding –> and the greater your understanding, the greater your capacity to see the other as yourself –> see how you are similar –>which increases your capacity for compassion and love –>  and through this:  war, conflict, and those activities that spawn from mis-understanding will diminish and an overall upleveling and prosperity for all is increased.

Here are some reminders on how to get back to your inner guidance.

1 always draw your strength from within and source*.

  • *source as spirit, god, the spiritual universe as you connect with it as an entity or energy or supportive pattern.

2 to do so feel, listen and see your internal presence and connection to source through your internal sensory guidance system, your 6 senses – surround yourself with love and light and joy.  

  • Listen to your inner guidance over and above the propaganda around you . 

3 remember to focus on a higher spiritual plane and understand changes come on the planet from stepping out of the earthly battle and into the spiritual light –

  • so if you are feeling let down by the infighting, in politics or tragedies – Focus your energies in being even more light even more love and forgiveness – smile – and ‘do battle’ by living in that light with spirit. 
  •  think of the battle as not against human forces but against the mistruth or lack of truth.

4 to remain steadfast, surround your self with source and the inner truth. 

  • This can be like an armor or coat of truth, light, and love – surrounding yourself with that energy so that you can feel more protected as you see through the lens of compassion and love.

5 believing is seeing –  so believe, know the truth and you will be shown and will see light, spirit and prosperity –

  • ignore and look away from the propaganda of the earthly plane – political and business – focus on spirit for guidance and truth – 
  • make each choice from an integrated and spiritual connection and then you will feel strength from your feet all the way up your spine to your head or crown – surrounding your waist like a belt and spilling out and around your chest and heart center.

6 walk in the truth of what you know and remember to always be in gratitude and love –

  • mercury is seen as wearing wings on his feet and on a helmet on his head consider the power of the swiftness of truth to spread through a community – 
  • truth spreads more quickly than propaganda because it goes straight into your heart – no glitches or questions.

7 Through everything have faith and be faithful, when you feel fearful acknowledge this and then stand in your faith turning the fear on its head –

  • it’s fine to be educated about what is happening around you in the politics but act from your inner truth and inner guidance

8 see the way and follow it like a path – 

  •  Know your truth, live it, say it, feel it, see it, be it!

9 share your knowing with the world in love and light without pressure or hardness – 

  • Meditate, be mindful, listen from within and share it at every opportunity.

This is the way to inner guidance and it can bring you an infusion of peace, joy and prosperity.

In love and light, many blessings to you, Beth


by 1 Comment

seeing in multiple dimensions, – inner guidance III

Hello and Welcome! Allowing yourself to listen to the vast information available to you through your internal guidance system is essential for mindful, comprehensive communication and right action.  Even though this is a natural, instinctual process –  it can be eroded in early childhood due to a push to conform to group rules and beliefs – when you want to recapture your connection to this internal guidance you need to increase your  awareness and practice paying attention and responding.

The words intention, attention, perspective, and perception increase your awareness and focus you onto the space in a multi-dimensional way.  Each word embodies a specific energy or vibration that can wholly stand alone, but when the energy of each term is inked the whole of the process is multi-dimensional.

  • Feel into the meaning of each of these terms for yourself so that you can get an image of the vibration of the word interacting like an equation with the other words.
  • Give the internal image dimension through color or shape in how you experience the  words interacting.
  • This will allow you to create your own picture of how to focus yourself onto  your path through your inner guidance holding the multi-dimensional information from your senses together yet bounded in a way to see the various paradigms.
  • The interactions between and among the vibrations are as important as the word meanings and the whole equation.

You may see the words relating like a spear and a target, then a circling or something that encompasses and then finally something that shoots to a height and then grounds like an anchor.  All directions and energies; not a blur of color that becomes murky but energy and color interacting and adjusting

Intention focuses you in on what you intend, what you want/desire or what the other intends, wants/desires.

Attention focuses you in on the tone, loudness, word choice, meaning and emotion as well as whether you and the other have the same meaning for words and/or actions – it pulls you into the present.

Perspective gets you into the figure/ground aspect of the interaction and allows for paradigm identification and paradigm shifting.

And perception has aspects of all of the other three.  It allows for mindful understanding and mindful action.

It’s like looking at a situation, relationship, or problem from a 360 degree perspective, breadth as well as depth, multi-dimensionally.

So when you are thinking about a situation or a relationship start to use these words as guide posts to increase your mindfulness awareness of yourself and the other(s) involved and see if you don’t get some surprising answers about what may be going on in those situations.  Pay attention to your internal guidance through your six senses to see if you can get a multidimensional picture and understanding of the situation or relationship.

You can use your intuitive sense, your observations, questioning skills, and willingness to listen and act in a mindful present moment way and this will have two effects:  increase your personal degree of compassion and decrease your personalization of the information – personalization here meaning taking something personally with some sort of negative attachment rather than seeing the information more objectively or mindfully.

Paying attention to the quiet voice within and clarifying your intention – these will increase your understanding of your inner guidance and give you direction about what is your best right action.

It can also help you know when your best action is non-action, allowing or going with the flow.  For some this is the most difficult “action”  to take, but when it is connected to this inner knowing it feels active to be in a waiting, allowing space.

Also check out  seeing in 3-D, 3.3.10 Being mindful opens the door to seeing in multiple dimensions and distinguishing different currents of information simultaneously, which creates a space to understand each separately and see how each affect the other.

Thank you for your continued interest and support.  Gentle, kind, and warm blessings to you in your life and  your endeavors.  Beth


by 1 Comment

ego re-balancing – inner guidance II

Hello and Welcome!  There is a lot of reference of the negative of the “ego” among alternative healers and spiritual healers.  These groups tend to perceive the ego as negative; this is a matter of not understanding the role of ego in self-development, and further of mis-connecting ego and narcissism.

The story of the ego to which I refer is its identification  in the development of self, and each person’s interaction with self and other.  The ego is that aspect of your personal self that can mediate between your personal wants disconnected from society and your belief systems swallowed whole from society.  Ego basically is mediating between individual wants or needs and the needs or wants of the group.  So from this perspective ego is a neutral more helpful aspect of your personality.  It is the part of you that can be objective and see self and other on the same plane.

Narcissism is a more problematic aspect of personality.  Narcissism is a skew in personality away from mindfulness and neutrality and objectivity.  Narcissism is problematic in relationship as individuals who are narcissistic have little to no capacity for empathy.

Empathy is the shear act of paradigm shifting – putting yourself in another’s position and understanding that other’s perspective.  Mindfulness, lovingkindness attitude and paradigm shifting require empathy.  Lack of empathy disconnects you from society and others.  Narcissism allows you to take actions without regard for how you may hurt another and focuses your actions on self alone without a connection to society as a whole.

Your cognitive mind has a way of tricking you.  It is a thinking aspect – with cognitive firings and logic.  It is that aspect that can get caught into a habit of relating, or be guided by indoctrination.  You can think of mind as an aspect of the information available to you as part of your inner guidance but when it is disconnected from spirit it can skew perceptions and actions out of balance.

These groups that teach you their language and then have you act by that set of symbols and beliefs are having you work with your mind while simultaneously saying your ego (aka mind) is guiding you away from your true self – which from their specific perspectives is whatever they are teaching.  Be aware.  Allow yourself to trust yourself first.

Ego allows for the integration of mind and spirit as it allows for empathy and negotiated action that synthesizes individual and groups needs/wants.

The simple rule found in so many spiritual texts to not treat others as you would not desire to be treated incorporates ego, mind, spirit integrated and in balance – it requires empathic lovingkindness guide your action.

Guidance from without must be filtered through your inner guidance to experience its truth.

Truth is not an abstract concept to be discussed and proved through the cognitions of the mind in isolation, but rather it is something that is a trifold experience of knowing, feeling, and understanding.

You can feel when it is not truth.  Something doesn’t ring true, look right, feel right.  There is a catch in how the information goes on or a blip or bump – if you are paying attention you know it – you fully and completely know it.

The tricky part is the paying attention part.

If you are simply on automatic and going through life as a passive receiver then you may miss the information present in every interaction, in each dream, and story, and connection you make or have.  This includes how you respond or react to the story of your politics, your family, your ethnic group, your partner, and your peers.  The stereotypes you allow to guide you rather than the personal information you feel, hear, see, know from within.

Paying attention requires attentiveness, awareness, openness, and a willingness to follow the inner thread of inner guidance.  To risk discovery of new information, change your opinions, and allow truth to be revealed.

Each person is unique when born.  Each life has a unique path.  Each being is special.  Each of us is a child of source energy, of god or spirit.  Each has access to source energy through the source guidance built into her cells, into her internal sensory system – her six senses.

These are always present within you and speaking to you all the time if you would just listen.

You actually are constantly being directed through your inner guidance through these messages; when you feel like something that someone says is off then that is a message from within.  Paying attention to these messages through your intuition, your inner hearing, seeing, knowing, feeling.  This is the fastest and most effective way to get onto your path and create your life fortune.

The truth will set you free and following your bliss will indeed bring you success.

So here’s an important message – if you are not doing what you want or living at your highest potential – go within reconnect through you internal guidance system with yourself.  You can use prayer, meditation, Yoga, running, ice skating, walking, dancing, writing, journaling, dreaming, sound, toning, therapy, or anything that assists you in connecting with your inner truth – but the key is that whatever you use your guide is within, not without, and the answer is personal, empathic, and loving.

When you begin to listen, pay attention to the subtle, gentle messages in the background not the angry, emotional loud messages in the foreground.

Your personal inner guidance will generally not yell at you unless you are about to have a car accident.  Otherwise it’s just a quiet, firm yet light message or vibration  turn here, let go, trust, believe, and ooh that doesn’t feel, sound, look right.

And give your self/ego a break – your ego is trying to mediate all your inner wants and outer expectations – have a little empathy, love and kindness toward yourself while you begin to acquaint yourself with your inner guidance.

Thanks for your continued interest and support, please pass on this information as you are guided to do so – more joy for everyone, in love and light, Beth


by 5 Comments

Truth within – inner guidance I

Hello and Welcome!  When I was in graduate school I discovered a book  by Sheldon Kopp, although it had already been around for a while, for me it was transformative.   The preface of the book is what is most relevant here:  No meaning that comes from outside of ourselves is real.  The Buddhahood of each of us has already been obtained.  We need only recognize it – Thus the Zen Master warns his disciple:  – If you meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill him! (Kopp, 1976).  

The most effective and personal guidance is within.

Over the years I have noticed a number of programs “pop up” designed to assist you in becoming more successful and happy.  Even a burgeoning interest in Yoga and meditation has developed as a means for spirituality and stress reduction.

The focus for what is your true path remains within.  The promise of becoming more successful and happy is hollow when the center of the program is without a direct connection to your personal, spiritual center.  Any program that assists you in becoming more in touch with source connection and energy is a profound gift.  Many paths can provide guidance and direction along this path but the resultant information best serves the seeker when it is found within his own heart-center.

Some of these programs have a quality of indoctrination – indoctrination is actually the opposite of reaching a deeper connection within.  If you use your inner sensory system and listen to your internal responses then you will know if you are being led away from or into your center.  Indoctrination leads you away from your center and creates a layer between you and yourself.

Truth doesn’t belong to the guide or the giver of it – truth is.  It is available to anyone who seeks it.  If you have to learn someone else’s language to speak to yourself – you may be creating a connection that is not direct and there can be a skewing in the information you receive.

There is already a clear and direct communication available to you within.  Truth is present within.

Your internal guidance system that is part of you – within the integration of your spirit, mind, and body, your 6 senses (sight, touch, sound, taste, smell – and intuition) – these are personal and wholly connect you and source energy.  No need to learn someone else’s language.  By paying attention to your subtle responses within yourself you can be effectively and perfectly guided.  Just listen to what you hear, feel, know within yourself.

Your connection to source is direct.

Your truth is within you not outside of you and finding the truth of your path is found from going within and reacquainting yourself with your heart, your spirit-self communication.

You may use prayer, meditation, Yoga, personal journaling, dreaming, therapy, or any other method to acquaint yourself with your truth – but the language is personal, idiosyncratic, unique and the way in is available to you through any and all of these methods.

Your internal sensory guidance system is always showing you the way.

Just listen and respond with love and neutrality.

You may discover that you have some habits that cover over your personal truth.  Some belief systems, or interpretations of truth that you may need to break through but the truth is already right there, within you waiting to be understood by you.

How you perceive the information presented to you through your internal guidance system is your path.  Yes you may have to go under the habit reaction patterns you developed from your life experiences and the “should” and “should not” introjects swallowed whole by you from your primary socialization groups – these are elements of indoctrination.  These may feel right on the surface but at a deeper level you may feel a quirk or dissonance within you.  That is what you pay attention to – that aspect of knowing deep within.

Truth is something that rings clear through all your internal senses and your intuition when it touches one or all of them.

Just listen as you move through your life and all is revealed in your own heart-centered language.

thanks for your interest, pass it on as you are guided to do so, Beth

Kopp, Sheldon, If you meet the Buddha on the Road,Kill Him. Bantam Books:  New york, New York:  1976.


by 2 Comments

Finding your way through the propaganda

Hello and Welcome I read this quote on Facebookfrom Marianne Williamson –  she retells an old story from the bible in a way to encourage spiritual empowerment and healing; integrating spiritual healing and a description of mindful living:

The giant was a terrifying enemy; even the best warriors of Israel trembled at the thought of fighting him. David was merely a young shepherd and a musician, yet he was the one to defeat the giant. How did he do it? He had three smooth stones in his slingshot, and he hit the giant between his eyes. THE GIANT HAS NO DEFENSE WHEN HE IS HIT IN HIS THIRD EYE. He cannot defend himself against these three things: truth, virtue and love. So that’s the message for us: to speak the truth; to work on our own virtue; and to act with love. At this point in history, all three take courage…  Marianne Williamson (my italics)

The elements – truth, virtue and love are so powerful – their essence creates a space for you to be impenetrable – solid and strengthened to see your way through the propaganda that is all around you.

From a metaphoric perspective the idea that truth, virtue and love are the powerful forces that work through the third eye is in essence a concept of standing in the light of spirit. I had a powerful discussion recently about standing in one’s heart center.  It is a difficult thing and yet happens effortlessly when you open yourself and create space in relationship to truth, virtue, and love.

I receive my best lessons about truth when I am challenged to not speak the truth, not act from the center of my true self (virtue) and when I am not acting out of love for all the parties involved – for me the forgotten love is usually not acting lovingly toward myself – or simply when I am acting out of fear.

I once noticed that evil is live spelled backwards and it dawned on me that not living was evil and living was the opposite of evil.  Fear seems to open the door to evil through the concept of not living in your true or full light.  Love seems to fill you with faith and trust so that you can go toward your truth and virtue not avoid them from fear.

When I was a student living in Italy.  These lessons came to me experientially in my awareness of the difference between my truth and that of my beloved boyfriend with whom I had traveled to Italy, as well as my perceptual awareness of national and political ‘truth” seen from my new lens of outsider in a foreign country.  I learned that there were different kinds of truth and that truth had a time-stamp or perspective to it that shifted its relativity.  I was already drawn to existential writers by this time in my life, but here I was introduced to the amazing writings of Carlo Levi in his book Christ Stopped at Eboli (1945).  This book dealt with many issues of figure and ground when defining truth.  It has helped me all these many years to assist others in relationship to discern the difference between what is true from a perspective point of view and what is truth from a universal spiritual point of view.

The first step in finding your way through the propaganda that surrounds you in the media, your cultural and political affiliations and your world is to discover your truth, your personal virtue and what love looks and feels like to you.  Love from the compassionate, accepting, non-attached mindful perspective that connects us all as one.

This can be an effortless transformation.  Simply notice, accept and feel gratitude for what is working in your life.  Open to being rather than doing.  Rise above the perspective of right and wrong and into the concept of living and not-living this will assist you seeing, feeling and knowing the truth.  This will assist you in developing your virtue.

Though simple acts of lovingkindness and mindfulness you are strengthened.  Smile more, laugh more, accept more, feel the pain of others more, love yourself more, forgive more – all these actions increase your capacity for truth, virtue and love.

The first step is through the use and active mindset of compassion.

The best way to get there is through a daily practice of meditation, yoga, and/or prayer.

Namaste ^

See you tomorrow.

Beth


by 2 Comments

How to develop a practice of internal spirit-self-communication

Hello and welcome

I have the great honor of teaching.

I say it is an honor because I see teaching as a powerful responsibility that requires love, compassion, and care.  Yes of course I need to also know the material, but more than that I need to be able to present it in a way that touches the hearts and minds of those I teach.  This is more difficult than just presenting facts – it’s about presenting truth that can be incorporated into a world view and strengthen those who receive the information.

When you hear truth it has a quality of singing or ringing in key within your body, spirit and mind, all at once.  Giving you a feeling of deja vu almost, a feeling of immediate comprehension and knowing.

This is very different then being compelled toward something from propaganda.  Propaganda is seductive and alluring but it doesn’t ring true in your heart it has more of an emotional-visceral, reactive quality to it.  Propaganda is something that lulls you into a sense of righteousness or patterned behavior.  Advertising and politics are masters at using partial information or “spin”  to guide you to take action that may not be inline with your heart/spirit connection but feels right.  This feeling right is not the kind of truth that rings through to your heart/spirit.

Because of this peculiar experience of feeling right through propaganda it is important to be able to remove emotionality and righteousness from the conversation and work toward understanding, connecting and compassionate lovingkindness.

The art of seeing the world from a compassionate, neutral, and curious perspective encourages connecting with truth.  It increases the kind of seeing of truth that is not righteousness but open-minded, strengthening and graceful.

The best way to encourage this is the use of optimism, gratitude, kindness, compassion, and nurturance of ideas and growth; flexible, present moment response creates the space to open to truth in various forms through sound, word, and information.

The more you have a practice of mindfulness and meditation, breathing and prayer, internal spirit-self-communication with a quality of waiting to understand before jumping to conclusions – open-mindedness – the more you will experience truth in all your interactions.

The best form of teaching is through modeling.  Our brains are hard-wired to learn through modeling.  Living in a way that is consistent with what you value can go far to teach.

Many roles incorporate guidance, direction, teaching and strength building – managers, parents, coaches – all have the foundation of teaching at their base.  Highly effective coaches, managers, and parents share the skill of meeting their students where they are, defining their strength and limitations,  building their strengths and transforming their limitations into strengths all with compassion and frankness.

To develop these skills try the following steps:

  • Practice noticing what works.
  • Practice looking for how you agree and connect with another.
  • Practice flexibility and paradigm shifting, allow the other person’s meaning to connect with you even if how he says it is different from how you say it.  Think here of the issue of recognizing that having different names for god isn’t having different gods.  The connecting point is that both parties have a deep belief in god even if the story about how to be connected to god is different.  Connecting to the elements that agree is the best starting point for understanding and teaching or relationship.
  • Be grateful for what is great about what is happening rather than sorrowful or even sullen about what isn’t.  Practice turning things on their head, thinking the opposite, and just saying thank you.

For example if you just lost your job – being grateful is to look for how that loss allows for something new and better to come into your life.  Maybe the loss of the job allows you to learn something about yourself that is negative that you have to change so that you can be successful.

The attitude of gratitude is when you have to define what is great about something that feels negative or is a loss – simply looking from the perspective of asking the question how can this be good allows you to open your eyes to see the positive aspects.

Sometimes the attitude of gratitude is using your thinking skills to put the issue in perspective – for example if you are unhappy with a habit of your partner’s – consider what else you love about him so that you can view the frustrating habit within context.  You may find it is less bothersome or you may be able to communicate about what you don’t like without making it into a big fight.  More on how to develop the attitude of gratitude here, less attitude more gratitude, 9.2.11.

  • Reframe the energy of your “student”.  If he is willful guide his strength to help him be stronger internally rather than get into trouble.  Of if he is rebellious support the innovation rather than reinforce the reactivity.

Relationships don’t require work because there is something wrong with them – relationships require work because we all live in our separate universes that are in constant need of interpretation and definition.

Effective teaching (managing, guiding, parenting, coaching) requires care and willingness and a compassionate practice of viewing, interpreting, connecting, and translating.  Knowing yourself, allowing the dynamic process of evolution within yourself and the dynamic process of evolution in the other to be, and to be understood, and to be connected.  That is the essence of effective teaching and ultimately the essence of loving, honest relationship.

Embrace your great honor of teaching with all the wonderful beings and “students” in your life.  It will bring you immense joy and a real sense of love and connection.  Start with yourself.  More information about how to increase your internal connection can be found in an earlier article on this site, InstinctiveHealthMedicine, 8.28.10, Guiding ones beliefs and actions.

The divine spark of spirit lives in our truthful capacity to see and love one another.  Namaste, is a Sanskrit word that means My soul (spirit light) within me bows to (sees or acknowledges) your soul (spirit light) within you. ( Yoga Journal description of Namaste, Aadil Palkhivala  ) It is generally stated with one’s hands in a prayer position at one’s heart and a very slight bow of one’s head toward the other with one’s eyes closed.  It has a deeply reverent quality.

It is a statement that is often shared at the end of a Yoga session.  Yoga is seen as a medicinal and spiritual practice, not simply an exercise by those who have studied it and maintain it these thousands of years.

  • Develop a practice that allows you to acknowledge in all your actions your connection to spirit and to integrate your spirt-mind-self.  This will increase your opportunities for health and prosperity.

The practice of Yoga allows you to practice communicating with your self – mind, body, and spirit – through breath.

Any practice that is done with breath, compassion, lovingkindness, open – mindfulness, and meditation or prayer will increase your spirit-human connection so that you can align with your true self and create health and prosperity.  Meditation on Lovingkindness

I believe that human beings are spirit-humans. The idea of managing your body and mind integrated with your spirit is what is your most primary work for health and prosperity because it aligns you with your true purpose and true self, not only individually but also as a community of human beings.

  • Teach yourself the difference between how something feels right that is false and propaganda and how something feels right that is truth.

Your first step is to develop a practice of integrated internal communication with yourself and spirit – meditation, prayer, neutral observation, open-mindfulness, and breath are your best communication tools.    To find out more check out this article En-Joy Now, 12.29.10.

Namaste.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


by 1 Comment

In the search for security, self-confidence is the first milestone

Hello and Welcome to my new readers!

The idea of security drives much of human action and directed behavior. The search for security can take many paths.  There are different forms of security attached to financial, physical, emotional, relational, and personal safety and various personalities are drawn to various hierarchies of security.  The path chosen will be focused on the core insecurity for the person.

So if you find that being alone is difficult or you have your strongest feelings of insecurity around relationships then it was in that portion of your life that you have a lack of security and a lack of strength.  If you live here then money may not be of much importance but human interaction is a focus of security.  Individuals who live here will say,  “the money will come” but if someone doesn’t respond to them quickly they begin to catastrophize about the meaning of the lack of communication, sometimes even after 15 minutes of waiting.

If you focus on making money and creating financial security then not having money creates an inner sense of insecurity.  If you live here then relationships have less of a pull on you but wealth creation and savings is of great importance.  Individuals who live here easily let go of other people’s needs or requests and in general can survive with few connections but they have difficulty spending the wealth they created.  They may be unable to spend their money even on fairly necessary things because the spending causes them to feel paralyzed by insecurity.  This is an example of someone who has the funds but never spends it – the money in the bank, or in some cases millions under the mattress, creates no sense of comfort except in the knowing it is there.

How a person develops a sense of insecurity is related to his early circumstances, his place in society, his parent’s perspective of security and his personal temperament and skill set.

So an individual who focuses on financial security will usually have a story or myth behind it that describes a powerful point in his life when he was without money and the lack of money felt dire, dangerous, and life-threatening.  The gathering and having of money becomes the object of security.

In a different circumstance an individual who focuses on connection or relationship for security will have a story of being abandoned and the abandonment will feel like a dire, life-threatening situation.  Physical neglect and abuse in early childhood can feel like an abandonment and individuals can develop an insecurity in relationship as a result of this.  The relationship, being connected to someone, is the object of security.

The issue of insecurity is an equation of the experience plus the attached story or belief system connected to a feeling of life-or-death.  So not all individuals that come from poverty or abuse, who have a challenging financial situation or individuals who have dealt with abandonment, will develop this sense of insecurity.

And this sense of insecurity is something that shows up along a continuum, from slight to overwhelming.  On the slight end of the continuum, supportive groups and talking oneself through the anxiety can be enough to decrease the internal reaction or imbalance.  On the more overwhelming end it can be debilitating, interfering with an individual’s capacity to function.

The word security can conjure up many different connotations: a sense of physical safety, inner balance, laws and rules; the meanings are diverse but the underlying concept seems to refer to a sense of balance and safety.

In order to create a sense of security, the work needs to begin at home.  The first step is to build an internal sense of security or self-confidence and inner strength.

Child development theorists talk about this as the first stage of development for children.  It develops out of trust or mistrust of your caregiver. From there, following Erik Erikson’s developmental model, each stage builds on the previous stage.  A feeling of trust and confidence will lead to self-confidence, competence, success in relationships and career.  Creating this pathway for your child is a function of being present and real with her.  Creating this for yourself is a function of returning to neutral, returning to balance, through meditation and paradigm shifting with compassion and lovingkindness toward others and yourself.

Mindful meditation is a useful habit to help create this.

A feeling of mistrust can skew the development of these capacities; it can decrease your chance to develop the positive aspects of the stages.  It can result in a lack of self-confidence, insecurity, timidity, a lack of internal strength, a sense of incompetence and ultimately if enough aspects are negatively affected then insecurity can create an individual who has difficulty with relationships, is unable to make basic decisions, and breaks down in nominally stressful situations.

This situation can be positively affected with meditation, prayer, breathing, and reality testing through compassionate paradigm shifting.

The first milestone to shifting your relationship with security into balance is through the development of self-confidence.

More about how to development self-confidence and stave off insecurity in upcoming blogs.  Also see February 3, 2011, blog instinctive health medicine, self-confidence vs insecurity, and other blogs through the search icon above under insecurity.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


by 2 Comments

Focus your energy and breathe

Hello

As a therapist, my job is listening.

It  is a special kind of listening not the listening of a friend, or a mother who just wants to soothe.   Although I deeply care for those with whom I work, from a broader perspective listening has many facets.

It is a listening that requires rapid responses, redirection, and guidance offering a sense of calm.

The listening is active but not strained.  I’m present in the foreground in a neutral open way, while in the background my mind, heart, intuition, and senses are evaluating the information on some kind of inner grid; the person’s tonal quality, choice of words, and speech as well as the content of what was said and not said used to develop a multi-level understanding of the person and the problem at hand, in context.

I have developed a special kind of quiet speech, and stillness that becomes even more quiet and still in response to increased danger or lack of balance.  When working my voice has a soothing, relaxing quality that allows others to easily allow a trance state.

While in my personal interactions I may become agitated, in my therapeutic setting I seem to have the ability to drop my blood pressure and pulse in more dangerous circumstances, telegraphing a sense of calm composure.  In the same way an animal can smell fear I transmit a sense of security and peace to assist the person to return to a sense of calm balanced harmony.

This is something that I developed instinctively over a period of time when working in stressful, dangerous environments.  The calmer my demeanor the more likely the danger could be averted.

This tactic is directly related to the concept of energy and breath.

A fascinating phenomenon of activity and passivity in unison, which I believe is a the mechanism that allows others to feel better after being in my presence  and encourages them to return.

It is the sense of being seen and heard that allows the person to move forward to receive the necessary information and support from me.  This sense of visibility in a safe way is soothing and strengthening.

She experiences things already known by her as well as things unknown to her that have the quality  of truth or accuracy or deep familiarity.  In combination this increases a sense of security and strength.  And allows for a letting go of structures that no longer serve her and development of structures which do.

I have developed a way to transmit calm in stressful situations.  Practicing this skill will create an environment for harmony and I think it is what allows for the shifts in the people I see in my practice.

So it’s about paying attention and responding to the situation with a sense of calm neutral interest.  A serious and gentle way of guiding and supporting.

These are precisely the terms used to describe mindful mediation or mindfulness.  And it is through these actions that a person can reduce her anxiety or anxious behavior and feelings of obsessive compulsions.

So it is no wonder that the experience in therapy is soothing and strengthening.

But how to get that when you are not with your therapist.

It turns out the best thing to do is to imitate her in your response to yourself.

  • Smile, sit quietly, listen to yourself, your words, your tone, your word choice, what you say and what you hold back.
  • Listen and pay attention with a sense of calm neutral interest.
  • Appreciating the situation with a gentle seriousness.
  • To get to this kind of state the first thing to do is to focus your energy inward in a gentle, calm and interested way.
  • A gentle questioning: what is going on here, what do I feel, when did it begin, what relationships are present?
  • Then listening to the answer that presents itself with a neutral interest; no need to prove the rightness or wrongness of what is noticed.
  • Then Breathe.  Breathe again deeply and fully with a smile in between your exhalation and inhalation.  Allowing for your heart to open and listen too.
  • A feeling of Love and a connection to spirit help.

Feeling a warm caring and sense of spiritual connection allows me to move into my heart even when I have lost my way, by simply breathing, focusing my energy, smiling and being open  to the perfect answer to the situation presenting itself.

Allowing things to flow seems to be the most difficult.

If you have created success through your mind’s ability to discover the answer and prove it, you will find this allowing part difficult.  Remembering that pushing the river takes more energy and doesn’t get very far – go with the flow.

In general the best answers come to us, they appear or present themselves.  Yes perhaps as a result of study, and work on the problem but is usually after the problem is set to the back burner that the whole picture is revealed along with the solution.

So focusing your energy on the problem, setting a desire or intention, and then releasing it unto breath – breathing through the need to make it happen especially when it’s out of your control, that is the place of real strength and power.

Focus your energy and breathe, you will feel that inner sense of calm and a sense of inner balance.  From this place you will see solutions present themselves if you are paying attention to the information in the universe.

See you tomorrow,

Beth