InstinctiveHealthParenting4U

Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.


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Sound Healing 2; feel the vibration, allow the shift, elevate your consciousness

Sound waves, ocean waves, and seismic waves are all called mechanical energy waves.  These have the ability to move through matter. Vibration and sound have the power to heal.

Sound is a powerful healer.

Consider the effect certain songs have on you. The effect of a song is not only related to your psychological connection to it in the development of your life, but also to the tone and harmony of it, and how it relates to your internal energetic systems.  Classical music and the Beatles have the ability to create a sense of balance, this is directly related to the healing power of sound.

This is the meditative and balancing power of chanting and toning. Healing Sound, Instinctive Health Medicine, 2.23.14

All the senses have a healing effect.  Sight, Taste, smells (scent), Touch and Sound are all powerful avenues to balance your physical body.  Each of these senses offers an avenue to connect Spirit, Mind, and Body.

Taste:  In Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine, specific flavors positively align your body based on which elements are out of balance.  Bitter for Fire (Red): Heart/small Intestine channel (think discernment and a lack of joy or out of balance mania); Sweet for Earth (yellow-orange): Spleen/stomach channel disharmonies (think worry, pensiveness, depression); Pungent or Bland for Metal (white): Lung/large Intestine disharmonies ( think OCD, grief, lack of breath, difficulty with holding on or letting go; difficulty in choosing due to not knowing authentic self); Salty for Water (black): kidney/Bladder disharmonies ( think fear, phobias, stuck due to inability to choose best action due to fear, staying in harmful situation, deep insecurity due to life/death trauma); Sour for Wood (green): liver/gall bladder disharmonies (think anger, shame, rage, inability to forgive, hyper-vigilance).  These tastes help to bring into balance the interactive five element systems.  You can find more here:  http://www.yogitimes.com/article/five-chinese-elements-cleanse-release-clarify/

Sight/Color: There are many ways you can use color to help in healing.  You may use colors in reference to food, as above.  There are specific mantras and chakra connections for specific colors.  See more here:  https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2013/06/22/life-lessons-in-relationships-energy-and-color/ .  Additionally focus on positive images, make an effort to dismiss and release negative images.  There are studies that show that humans (and other highly developed mammals, elephants, dogs, dolphins and whales, and chimpanzees, gorillas, and monkeys) have mirror neurons.  These mirror neurons are in our brains and affect how we choose to be in the world; what we see affects our perceptions at an integral level.  So the more you can see positive, interactive, high level consciousness behavior the more you will actualize this kind of civilization.  More about this in future posts.

Smell/scent is a powerful healing tool as well.  Consider that the most powerful sense is smell for memory and recognition.  Partners often find the scent of their partner to be the most appealing aspect of their connection. Babies know their mother by her scent.  The brain connection for your olfactory sense is directly connected to your limbic system which underscores the visceral aspect of this sense.  I use Do-terra oils in my practice to cleanse and release unwanted or unneeded negative beliefs held in the auric field.  Here are a few suggestions:  https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/03/11/energy-breath-and-balance/ .

Touch/the feeling sensation has been studied for many years.  Healing touch is one of the most powerful healing tools.  This is related to both the psychological experience of not being alone and the desire for humans to feel connected, (one of the primary softwire drivers in the human brain system, as supported by the importance of mirror neurons and how they drive the development of empathy), and to the physical system of your muscles.  Along your skin and within the muscle is a set of nerves they are constantly informing your brain about situations as safe or not and what is happening to the body, so that your brain can take an action.  These systems fire when there is discomfort or an injury.  They turn off or return to a lower setting when the area that is firing is touched…consider the immediate tendency to touch your finger (knee, hip. shoulder etc) when you bump or hit it.  Or how this action calms a child when s/he is injured…indeed that is a perfect example of the healing power of touch.  Resetting a system that has ben firing for years is the work involved in the treatment of myofacial trigger points, fibromyalgia and post traumatic stress disorder. Massage, acupuncture, and Reiki all utilize methods to reset the body through touch.

So let’s talk about sound.  Sound is a powerful healing tool.  

If sound waves are mechanical energy waves that can move through matter, then it clarifies how sound can clear out and heal blockages in your chakras, your physical body, and your emotional and auric fields.

Sound in conjunction with color, scents, and mindful meditation to clarify your thinking work together very efficiently.  I have found that the longer a block has been manifesting in your body the more difficult it is to release it.  Children respond very quickly to resetting through sound and smell.  When you combine tools you have a more efficient and less drastic release, almost as if the negativity simply peels off and is transformed.

There are specific sounds for each chakra:

chakranoteswebc,d,e,f,g,a,b are the notes for the seven chakras typically identified.  The toning bowls that sound at each of these notes can assist in healing these specific chakras.

In addition, my Kototama teacher, dr. Jeffrey Meyer, taught me that chanting the vowels: eh, ee, ah, O, oo in a repeated fashion with one breath can align the various chakras through aligning the five elements in your visceral and etheric system.

You can listen to a small scale of this chanting here: Healing Sound.

When you are feeling out of balance you can use this technique to center yourself and align your physical and spiritual self.  You may notice certain sounds are easier, stronger, or more difficult this gives you an idea of where you may be out of balance.  As you develop an understanding of the connection between the sounds and the elements, you may utilize this connection and sound to heal yourself.

Even without this level of awareness you can feel yourself strengthening and balancing by repeating the sequence with your breath until you feel the shift and rebalancing.  Listen again to the above link, you may notice the difference in strength and alignment from the first to the third toning in the above audio link.

There are crystal bowls for c#, d#, f#, g# and b#.

chakrasnotesastrologyThere is evidence that new  energy centers are developing within our chakra system that correspond with these sharp notes.  These can assist you in developing your capacity for breath, the diaphragm chakra (d#) or  in opening the thymus or higher heart chakra (f#) which can assist with increased immunity, as well as the Zeal point or Mouth of God chakra at the base of the occiput,( g#), which assists with compassion and telepathy, a deeper connection with spirit and the universe.  I have not investigated the evidence about the relationships between these centers and astrology, but this figure offers a sense of the new chakra configuration and sounds.  I have been using the e, f#, and g# in my practice and find these sounds to be profoundly healing.

Here is a link to all the newly developing chakras and sounds, crystal singing bowls.

chakra mantrasAs you are developing your understanding of these bowls, chakras and sounds, you may also want to address blockages in your thinking or beliefs.

Work with the first set of chakras first, root, sacral, and solar plexus as these will help to keep you grounded as you move into higher energetic realms.  You can use color to amplify the strength of these chakras.  Meditation on the chakra will enhance your clarity about what you need and how well balanced you are.

You may want to work with these blockages by simply using cognitive inversions, reframing the difficulties into gifts and aligning with the power of gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness.

Acupuncture, energy work, therapy, journaling, yoga and breathwork are all helpful in realigning with your true power and integrated self.

Yoga is an excellent source of support, because it utilizes breath attention, and intention in an integrated way to align your spirit, mind and body. Through Yoga you are increasing the amount of light you are pulling into your energetic system.  It helps to lengthen your spine so that you can actually hold more light.

Recognize that you have the power to heal within in you simply through accessing your internal sensory guidance system.  You are a sensory, spirit being.  Develop and exercise your muscle of attention and intention this will strengthen your intuition and you access to health immediately.

You can heal through these methods and develop your own model of resetting your balance through them.  See more here:  https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2013/04/10/faith-vs-fear/ .

Breath, toning and sound, clarification of your intent, all, will create an opportunity for you to elevate your consciousness.  Embrace the power to heal within yourself and clear the path to a new level of consciousness in thought and action. in love and light, bg

photo(22)For a medical intuitive session, chakra balancing, or sound healing session please contact me at my website, dr beth gineris, at www.bethgineris.com, classes & healing sessions

dr beth gineris, dr laura wolf, (of Wolf Acupuncture), and chris wolf will be together at Mama’s Minerals in Albuquerque, NM to demonstrate and offer Sound Healing in real time come out and join us for an amazing day of Healing, Saturday May 10, 2014, 10-3 Mama’s Minerals Alternative Fair Info.  We have developed an ibook download that you can use at your convenience and we will be demonstrating its power there. Discover the amazing power you have within to heal yourself, in love and light, bg


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Social policy, unintended consequences, and how wolves create rivers

In Sociology there is a term that is used to discuss the problem with social change policies, unintended consequences.

There has been a longstanding debate in the field of Sociology, regarding what to do with the information gathered through observation, even participant-observation, by sociologists.  Should sociologists use the information to create social policy, social change OR should sociologists remain observers and educators about what they learn so that humans can be more fully educated and then free to make the best choice for themselves in small groups and individually. Currently we are in a time-continuum where the social change aspect of sociology is winning that debate.

Bias is the biggest problem in the practice of sociology.  Since bias is imbedded into each sociologist’s consciousness through her upbringing and social group connections it becomes difficult to see personal bias.  Therefore, sociologists are at risk for introducing bias into the equation of truth without consciously knowing it. The process of paradigm shifting, critical thinking and mindfulness greatly assists sociologists in recognizing their bias, but it is a constant challenge.

In science the practice of the double-blind study is meant to resolve these issues.  However, for sociologists the type of study is observation and cataloguing, even in participant-observation an investigator ‘joins’ the group, simply to observe.  You can think of this as an undercover officer without any intention of actually stopping tragedies that are observed.  This is how the original focus was on identifying and reporting observations; you can think of this like the Prime Directive of no interference in Star Trek.  Education was the way to create change rather than directly participating in social ‘justice’ change policy.  Recognizing that society is dynamic, living the sociologist observes but avoids interfering with the process due to the risk of unintended consequences…what western biological medicine might call bad side effects of specific pharmaceuticals.

Let’s look at a few changes that have come through this action of social change policy.

Unintended consequences of No-fault divorce.

Prior to 1985, in order to get divorced fault had to be proved by one of the married parties.  The thinking in the eighties was that this resulted in high incidence of suicide by wives and high incidence of domestic violence against women.  So the passage of no-fault divorce was thought to assist women to feel more free and empowered.  Unfortunately, it resulted in the ‘feminization of poverty’ and more children living in poverty.

From Wikipedia:  A paper published in The Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy, written by Douglas Allen, on the economics of same-sex marriage, argues that the introduction of no-fault divorce led to a six-fold increase in just two years after a century of rather stable divorce rates. Also, the law increased the rate at which women entered the workforce, increased the number of hours worked in a week, increased the feminization of poverty, and increased the age at which people married. ( Allen, Douglas (June 22, 2006). “An economic assessment of same-sex marriage laws.”Harvard Journal of Law & Public Policy 29.)

A more useful action would be to educate children about choosing partners, the MAAPS concept developed by Gineris, 2013, and being mindful in marriage choices.  The debate to allow same-sex couples to marry has missed out on this aspect of importance in creating positive, powerful partnerships regardless of gender combination.

The ACA has already led to unintended consequences.

The focus by the ACA was on creating more insurance.  Coming from a perspective within the healthcare system as a provider and a receiver it is noticeable already that, unfortunately, at least so far ACA has resulted in less access to healthcare. In the last six months the number of individuals covered with insurance has dropped, due to actions resulting from the ACA.  Few individuals were able to get coverage who were not previously covered in 2008.    The intended outcome target has been missed and the trend is downward.  (For those individuals reading this that tend toward cynicism,  this may be a private intended consequence of those who put the ACA it into place because they are interested in a different form of insurance…however it is an unintended consequence from the historical statements of the intention to create a source for better access to healthcare at a lower price.)

A more powerful effect of sociological data about lifespan and lifestyle would have been to educate individuals on the benefits of caring for their physical vehicle, emotions and consciousness.  Education on how to live healthfully to avoid the need for healthcare. This creates an opportunity for individuals to take ownership in creating their own health and managing their choice in this regard.  Education increases understanding and therefore power to create personal change.  This is the dynamic aspect of society. Change from within based on many individuals making similar choices due to knowledge and experience.

if you give a man a fish you feed him for a day, if you teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime….’

Day-care, having your child be raised by the community rather than your personal family social system has resulted in unintended consequences.

Parents have less say in the care of their children.  Due to the nature of human beings learning about how to be in a community from their caregivers in early childhood, the influence of the parent has greatly reduced and the influence of the state has greatly increased.  Parents chose daycare to increase their freedom to work – often a necessity, however they were unaware of the consequence of losing influence in the beliefs, personality, and behavior of their own children.

In addition the psychological makeup of the child raised in daycare is to be cared for by the a group or community, thus the seedling idea that the government owes a person certain positive rights.

A more effective use of the sociological knowledge of how children develop beliefs, their MAAPS for relationship, and values is to educate parents and children as they develop, about these concepts so that individuals can be more empowered and free to make these choices in parenting and care.

Making pot legal will result in unintended consequences.

This is controversial for me to say.  I know.  Many alternative healers feel that marijuana is positive.  Often I hear my colleagues espousing its benefits.  My experience both as a psychotherapist and as an energy field healer belies this.  Pot mucks up the electromagnetic field so that the person over time is cut off from his or her direct sensory system connection to spirit.  Yes some individuals may describe feeling more connected to spirit when they are under the influence of pot, but they have lost their direct connection through their electromagnetic field and have diminished their effectiveness of their sensory  guidance system.  The effects of this remains even after the person stops using marijuana and can only be healed through energetic clearing tf the person’s electromagnetic-field by an energy worker.  So the unintended consequence is to diminish the person’s connection to spirit and to make the person dependent upon the drug to have the inspirational experience.  Additionally, long-term, excessive use diminishes a person’s sense of innovation and will, resulting in a constant state of being slightly like a zombie.

Education openly about issues that underly pot use would be more fruitful than simply saying it is harmless, no more harmful than smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol.  This would allow for each individual to make an evaluation from a more holistic perspective.

The hypocrisy of professors, like Bill Ayes, who makes over 100K a year and teaches anti-Americanism: “I pray every day that I can change America and get rid of Capitalism”…he isn’t off the grid he is living through Capitalism.  He argues against financial inequality while actually creating it with his behavior. The challenge of being in a position of expert is to unintentionally miss out on the opportunity to actual teach the positive effects of thinking through a problem personally using mindfulness and critical thinking.  Using the position of teacher or professor to speak the truth without teaching the importance of dialogue and critical thinking to continuing to evaluate the veracity of that truth, is wholly unethical and creates the unintended consequence of creating ignorance rather than increasing the skills for decision-making and upleveling consciousness.

A more useful application of the sociological information about power and community is to create a space wherein the participant can sort through the answer though mindfulness and critical thinking.  Educating students on how to think, how to use their brains to think through a problem, deduction rather than just come up with the answer the professor determines true, in a Sherlock Holmsian style of clarity and mindfulness would allow for continued consciousness elevation for the entire community of human beings, and ultimately the planet.

The Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 and the Child Abuse Act of 1974,2010 seem to have fared better than the above examples.

The Indian Child Welfare Act (1978) was originally set in place in response to several things, the high incidence of children leaving the reservations and being raised in non-Indian homes which led to a high incidence of depression and suicide as the children reached adolescence (far greater than those children adopted who were from non-indian families).  This appeared to be a cultural issue as well as a psychosocial developmental issue.  In addition, there was concern from the Native American community that the Native American culture was being decimated by the loss of their children to carry it onward.

There were problems in dealing with how a child was identified as Indian, in that various tribes had different percentages of Native blood or connection to a tribal roll as ways to identify a being as Native American. As time went on it also became an issue if the child had never been a part of the Native Community (1982) especially if the parents had not actually lived in the Native Community in their own upbringing.  However, the intended consequences were met positively, due to this act the incidence of suicide by Native American children in early adolescence decreased dramatically, and far more Native American children were endowed with their cultural heritage.

The Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act  (1974, 2010) has had a positive effect on the increasing recognition and identification of child abuse by parents and communities, and the general understanding of the societal culture.  There have been difficulties with managing the regulation of foster parents and managing how to respond to these kinds of problems with families either through criminal cases or education through various state agencies developed to protect children removed from unsafe homes.

These Mantras clarify how to proceed as a sociologist.  Those who don’t study history tend to repeat it.  Because there are cycles in the sociological development of human communities. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.  This is based in the problem of a legislative, bureaucracy making decisions that require the fineness of individuality.  An agency moves too slowly and cumbersomely to make adjustments that are personal and individualized.  Regulation and individual freedom work against each other unless the regulation is set up to protect negative rights versus positive rights, ie: the basis of the US Constitution.    And finally, the strongest ethical position for all sociologists: know your biases, act from a neutral non-biased perspective.

Counselors who are in the business of change are constantly working to maintain a watchful eye on their own biases in how they assist their clients and patients to change.

Mindfulness, Compassionate understanding, Critical thinking by drilling down as well as expanding the knowledge of whatever you are attempting to resolve increases your opportunity create change that elevates the consciousness of the planet. As you take care in your own assumption about what is true, pay attention to an inner pressure to make another do what you feel is right. Stop, Look and Listen to yourself and the other person, stop acting… take a break, and go within to observe yourself and the underlying assumptions you hold, return to center.

And if you are being pressured against your own inner sense of knowing, that is free of bias but truly instinctive, then you can use your critical thinking and mindfulness to take the best action for your self. When pulled in to create policy, actually discern for yourself what you believe, pay attention to the dynamic aspect of society, listen thoroughly and investigate fully before you proceed with a proposal to avoid social policy change that results in unintended consequences. in love and light, bg

dr beth gineris is an integrative medicine practitioner in albuquerque, new mexico. she offers compassionate, mindful guidance to online coaching clients and clinic patients daily using her medical intuitive, clinical counseling, energetic rebalancing, and oriental medicine skills.  a great class on MAAPS and how to have more positive and empowering relationships is happening in Albuquerque, NM at the center March 15, 2014. Reserve your place at http://www.bethgineris.com  

Spiritual consciousness evolution happens through transcending and connecting to the place where spirit and human are best, not one better than the other. bg


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ego…no ego: balancing inner desires with outer expectations

The fastest way to align with the best parts of yourself and perceive the oneness of all humankind is through the ego.

star of david reflection

The ego is the mindful aspect of your self. In fact, if you want to get to no-ego you want to fully embrace ego, and then you will observe no-ego within you as you elevate your consciousness to oneness with all. (Gineris, turning me to we:the art of partnering with mindfulness, 2013)

This is not unlike the very power of breath in yoga to dissolve the blocks of energy within your muscles. Embracing the blockage, and breathing with and through it transforms the energy.

The concept of ego in psychological theory is the role of mediator and rebalancer in the tripartite aspect of the human mind developed by Freud.

The ego’s job is to mediate between the primitive needs and wants, the id, of an individual and the introjected societal shoulds and should nots inculcated from your parents, the superego. (Freud, the ego and the id, 1923)

The ego has gotten a bad rap from alternative healers indicating that it is power and control based. I suspect this has to do with the Buddhist concept of living free of inner desires. There is no need for a mediating aspect of mind if you are not in such an inner battle between self and society.

Another confusing piece of the puzzle is the term egoistic or egotistic, it references an inflated picture of self and selfish behavior. The root of these words is ego and so there is a tendency to attach selfish, power-hungry meaning to the word ego.

But this is the same mistake as calling someone who is hypomanic depressed. it is understanding the meaning of the prefix hypo, less or under, without understanding the meaning of the word. When an individual is hypomanic she is agitated frustrated, aggressive, but not in a full-blown manic state… so just under (hypo) mania. She is still hyper-aware and hyper-agitated.

Your ego is not selfish but rather holistic, attempting to discern ways to guide your actions and thinking toward caring for individual needs while living under the expectations of society.

The problem with an interpretation of ego as power-hungry is that it pulls you away from the part within you that is actually guiding you toward spirit.

Ego is that aspect of yourself that invites compassion, neutrality, lovingkindness, and the concept that we are all one to come into your mind.

Shift your relationship to the word ego by clarifying the underlying meaning.

  • Avoid acting in a selfish manner.
  • Use mindfulness, compassion, and lovingkindness in your decision-making.
  • Breathe
  • Embrace the perfection of spirit already within you, guiding you toward the most holistic and loving action that allows for the oneness of the universe to be represented.

finding your wayEgo/no-ego, rebalance your internal picture so that you can increase your empathy and connect to the spirit within you that is connected to all. Then your needs and society needs (or group, or couple needs) clarify, become aligned, and your actions are empathetic, bounded, and resonant from an inner security.in love and light, bg

dr beth gineris is an integrative medicine practitioner in albuquerque, new mexico. she offers compassionate, mindful guidance to online coaching clients and clinic patients daily using her medical intuitive, clinical counseling, energetic rebalancing, and oriental medicine skills. you can find her at http://www.bethgineris.com

Das, Lama Surya. Buddha Is as Buddha Does: The Ten Original Practices for Enlightened Living. HarperCollins, 2007.
Freud, Sigmund. The Ego and The Id. w.w. Norton & co.,1923.
Gineris, Beth. Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness. Createspace, 2013, p186-190.


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Healing sound

I have been using crystal toning bowls in my practice recently, to shift negative energies out of the various chakras and to accelerate the opening of new chakra centers.

There are specific sounds for each chakra:

chakranoteswebc,d,e,f,g,a,b are the notes for the seven chakras typically identified.  The toning bowls that sound at each of these notes can assist in healing these specific chakras.

In addition, my teacher dr. Jeffrey Meyer taught me that chanting the vowels: eh, ee, ah, O, oo in a repeated fashion with one breath can align the various chakras through aligning the five elements in your visceral and etheric system.

The sound is like this:  

When you are feeling out of balance you can use this technique to center yourself and align your physical and spiritual self.  You may notice certain sounds are easier, stronger, or more difficult this gives you an idea of where you may be out of balance.  As you develop an understanding of the connection between the sounds and the elements, you may utilize this connection and sound to heal yourself.

Even without this level of awareness you can feel yourself strengthening and balancing by repeating the sequence with your breath until you feel the shift and rebalancing.  Listen again to the above link, you may notice the difference in strength and alignment from the first to the third toning in the above audio link.

There are crystal bowls for c#, d#, f#, g# and b#.

chakrasnotesastrologyThere is evidence that new  energy centers are developing within our chakra system that correspond with these sharp notes.  These can assist you in developing your capacity for breath, the diaphragm chakra (d#) or  in opening the thymus or higher heart chakra (f#) which can assist with increased immunity, as well as the Zeal point or Mouth of God chakra at the base of the occiput,( g#), which assists with compassion and telepathy, a deeper connection with spirit and the universe.  I have not investigated the evidence about the relationships between these centers and astrology, but this figure offers a sense of the new chakra configuration and sounds.  I have been using the e, f#, and g# in my practice and find these sounds to be profoundly healing.

Here is a link to all the newly developing chakras and sounds, crystal singing bowls.

chakra mantrasAs you are developing your understanding of these bowls, chakras and sounds, you may also want to address blockages in your thinking or beliefs.

Work with the first set of chakras first, root, sacral, and solar plexus as these will help to keep you grounded as you move into higher energetic realms.  You can use color to amplify the strength of these chakras.  Meditation on the chakra will enhance your clarity about what you need and how well balanced you are.

You may want to work with these blockages by simply using cognitive inversions, reframing the difficulties into gifts and aligning with the power of gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness.

Acupuncture, energy work, therapy, journaling, and breathwork are all helpful in realigning with your true power and integrated self.

Yoga is an excellent source of support, to help you balance your integrated spirit, mind, body fields as you are increasing the amount of light you are pulling into your energetic system.  It helps to lengthen your spine so that you can actually hold more light.

Sound is a powerful healer.

Consider the effect certain songs have on you. The effect of a song is not only related to your psychological connection to it in the development of your life, but also to the tone and harmony of it, and how it relates to your internal energetic systems.  Classical music and the Beatles have the ability to create a sense of balance, this is directly related to the healing power of sound.

This is the meditative and balancing power of chanting and toning.

Have fun with this.

Discover what sounds are healing to you.  These may change over time and as a result of various circumstances.

Recognize that you have the power to heal within in you simply through toning and sound.  Embrace the power to heal within yourself and clear the path to a new level of consciousness in thought and action. in love and light, bg

photo(22)For a medical intuitive session, chakra balancing, or sound healing session please contact me at my website, dr beth gineris, at www.bethgineris.com, classes & healing sessions


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easy centering meditation for all ages

This is an easy way to teach kids how to meditate

Benefits of meditation Begin with breath.

Sit comfortably.

Close your eyes.

Imagine golden light coming in the top of your head and moving down along the interior of your body along your spine with your in-breath.

As you exhale imagine negative energy, stress, fears, or obstacles moving out your feet.

If you like you can think of how the sun feels on your back to get an image of warmth moving through you.

Breathe in so that your tummy gets big and breathe out so that your tummy gets smaller.
Breathe in for a count of 3 and out for a count of 5 (after a while you may want to breathe in for a count of 5 and out for 7 or even long but always have your out-breath be longer by two counts).

You can have you child teach a favorite stuffy to help learn the routine.

In medicine the best strategy to habituate yourself to a procedure is see 1, do 1, teach 1.  So use that strategy here to help inculcate for your child the meditation process.

After 10 to 20 breaths have a strong exhalation and open your eyes; you will feel refreshed.
You can lengthen the time you breathe to 3 – 5 minutes.

Encourage your child to practice in the morning and the evening.

3-5 minutes for younger children is an excellent practice.  As your child becomes more practiced you can increase to 15 minutes twice a day.  Long time meditators may meditate for 30 or more minutes.  Let your experience define what is best for you and your child.

Encourage your child to use this technique when faced with a stressful event.  After practice it will become a natural instinctive method in response to feeling out of balance, feeling fearful or stressed.

You can do this too and it will reinforce your child’s practice.

Enjoy!  in love and light, bg

beth's book No to ONOn April 5, 2014, I will be teaching a course on the use of mindfulness to treat anxiety for coaches, teachers and parents, at the Center for Instinctive Health Medicine…. Mindfulness techniques to reduce anxiety & stress, in children, excellent for counselor, caregivers, coaches, and teachers  tuition $120, April 5, 2014, 9-3, 6 hours of ceu for counselor and therapists— includes applications for children and adolescents for parent/teacher training. [this class can be purchased for training in classroom or counselor site training – modified to fit your needs – contact dr. gineris by email]….. These techniques are great for counselors and I offer CEUs for nm licensed counselors, you can sign up through my website, www.bethgineris.com.

front cover.me2wedr beth gineris is the author of Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness (2011) and Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (2013).  She endeavors to assist individuals in the process of upleveling their consciousness in everyday interactions to experience profound love, connection and care in their relationships and communities.  You can find her books on amazon.com and through her website.


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Turning Me to WE, understanding the Me-style of partnership

Dear Friends Welcome!

A friend requested elucidation of how the Me-style works if you are the one who gives yourself away by not holding or setting boundaries, especially when you are in partnership with a person who tends toward narcissism.

The me style is the concept ‘two halves make a whole’  perspective.  If in your situation you are the one who can’t say no, you have difficulty setting the boundary. If you are partnered with a narcissist, your partner has no capacity for empathy, no ability to actually see your point of view.  In psychological terms a person who is narcissistic is not specifically selfish – you can be selfish and not be narcissistic. To be diagnosed as a narcissist you have to lack empathy. The other diagnosis that has no capacity for empathy is a sociopath. What the two have in common is this lack of empathy.

Typically people who are caught in relationships with either sociopaths or narcissists have poor boundaries and lack self esteem (undeveloped inner security) and so don’t say no. They lose their sense of me, giving it away to their partner in hopes to feel/be loved.

The question where is the me is an apt one. The set of parameters for the me-style is dependency, diffuse or no boundary, lacks empathy, inner insecurity.   Remember it’s a style of partnering – so the driving focus is the driving me-need (for the giver away of self – the me-need that is driving is a need to be loved by an other – so although it looks like there is no me on her/his part, s/he is being driven by an insecurity me-need).

YOU can strengthen yourself by developing a healthy set of boundaries (defining and living through a set of boundaries of what is reasonable to give and take in relationship) and a healthy style of saying no ( identifying when you feel taken for granted by developing your awareness of your senses) as well as developing your inner security (discovering what you want and not accepting less than that- this includes recognizing your strengths and your limitations, and how these play into what you want in relationship).

Setting up these boundaries, increasing your sense of inner security, and developing compassion for yourself and your partner will get you ready for an independent, I-style relationship.

You may either grow together into a clearer more bounded relationship OR you may release each other to develop the next style of relating:  Two circles 00 walking side-by-side independently with firm, clear boundaries.  In this, the I-style, you may have to deal with stiffer boundaries as you develop your capacity to say no.  You may even find you are less flexible because you are defining those lines that you do not want crossed.

Once you feel comfortable in that kind of relationship you can develop flexibility with your boundaries and your paradigm recognition, shifting, and integration…. Thus allowing you to easily Move Into interdependence, through focus on connection and collaboration where both parties matter and a we-style of relationship.

Development through the different styles is a process.  Once you know where you are in the series of Me, dependent (co-dependent, driven by a set of inner insecurities), diffuse boundaries; I, independent (rigid boundaries, unable to say yes, due to a fear of losing self); We, interdependent, flexible boundaries focused on what you want rather than what you fear; then you can use that knowledge to develop qualities of empathy, boundaries, and inner security to get unstuck and achieve a more mutually satisfying relationship.

You can find out more in  Turning NO to ON:  The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, (Gineris 2011); Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, (Gineris 2013).front cover.me2we

and discover where you are in the MAAPS section.  This will help you to manage your insecurities and understand how and why you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure). in love and light, bg


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Mind reading 101

 

Ever hear from your partner,

do you expect me to be a mind-reader?’

Well, the truth is

Yes you do!

Why?  

Because if your partner really paid attention then he or she would know what you want in the relationship.

Using your full capacity to listen, and pay attention results in the other person feeling seen, loved and understood. This article is about mind-reading 101.

Mind reading…. 101.  It’s really about being mindful and observant, like a mentalist, which will look and feel like you have esp.  When you pay attention with all your senses and mindfulness you can really understand your partner.  And, when you feel heard by someone else you feel real and loved.

Kahlil Gibran references this in his poem book, The Prophet (1923, 1978, 1984).  Which is an oft-quoted book at marriage ceremonies.

Thich Nhat Hanh’s Mindfulness book, Peace Is Every Step (1991, Bantam Books, New York), offers insight:

“Darling do I understand you enough? Or am I making you suffer?Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly…..”  Real Love, pg 80.

“Love is a mind that brings peace, joy,and happiness to another person.  ….The essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves ‘inside the skin’ of the other.  We ‘go inside’ their body, feelings, and mental formations, and witness for ourselves their suffering.  Shallow observation as an outsider is not enough to see their suffering. …When we are in contact with another’s suffering, a feeling of compassion is born in us.  Compassion means, literally, ‘to suffer with’.

…” Meditation on Compassion, pg 81, 82.

To develop this quality in yourself, follow these 6 easy steps.

  1. Know yourself.  Develop your understanding of your wants, your strengths, and limitations.  Once you know where you are you can allow yourself to feel trust and then open to your partner’s needs, wants, and perspectives. Knowing yourself allows you to connect with other’s and see not only your own perspective but that of another.
  2. Open your heart.  From an open heart you can hear through defensiveness.  From an open heart you are able to practice compassion and loving paradigm shifting.  Think duck, bunnyimagesB paradigm shifting – both are real/true/accurate, just different perspectives of the same image:
  3. Reset your senses to neutral. This is the idea of choosing to connect rather than be right.  Choosing to remove fight from your vocabulary in order to focus on deflecting negative or attacking energy and going underneath that to the injury or suffering or pain of the other and seeking to create/find understanding and connection.
  4. Observe another’s face, voice/tenor, and gestures. Stop, look, and listen.  Make the connection through observation and clarification.  Pay attention, notice incongruence and seek a way through to a deep understanding and knowing of your partner.
  5. Use yourself as a reflection of your partner. Feel into your own body as a reflection of the other’s heart rate, anxiety, breathing, tension, peace; listen to your inner voice – for something off, something strong, something intuitive.
  6. Speak your feelings and thoughts, use clarification and inquiry from a balanced loving neutral place – not defensive. Reflect what you see as the incongruence.  Deflect/deflate another’s anxious negativity, or look for clarification of how he or she got there… discover what was the preceding action that triggered the anxiety or angry response; feel into yourself and then inquire from your partner, to ascertain what you partner is looking to receive so that he or she feels seen, heard, connected and loved.  Once you understand or get clarity on this information, give it lovingly and without condition.

Your capacity to read another’s mind is directly related to your personal self-knowing and your desire to connect, understand, and paradigm shift.

Meditation, Mindfulness, Removing fight from your vocabulary, and Developing you connection to your internal sensory guidance center are actions that improve your capacity to develop compassion, understanding, and care within you.

Living in this way will elevate your spiritual consciousness and result in deeper, more powerful, and mutually satisfying relationships in all aspects of your life.  in love and light, bg


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Facing Fears, Disarming bullies

Heart pounding in your chest when you look at or think about someone?  It might be love..

or it might be fear.  How you interpret that pounding is context.

To face your fears and disarm the power of bullies you have to shift your interpretation of that pounding from fear requiring flight…..

  • to acknowledgement requiring mindful action…
  • and then to love seeking an opportunity for recognition.

Facing fears is knowing your self and then seeing, understanding, and clarifying how you fit into the situation you are facing.

This is best done, gently and quietly, allowing your heart to guide your actions.

Fears derive from  a lack of knowing…

  • a habit-reaction to another experience that feels similar…
  • control or mis-allocation of energy toward protection…
  •  mis-understandings.. of yourself and expectations, or  of another and expectations (or both)
  • an inappropriate paradigm that doesn’t take into account the whole picture of ‘what is’.

Love is indeed the best treatment for fear.

But getting from the fear to love can be blocked or feel impossible if you haven’t developed your internal path to grace.

To a lesser degree getting from anger or insecurity to forgiveness and gratitude is also difficult.

These steps can help.

  • Set aside time to discover who you are through breath, meditation, journaling. yoga, and other creative pursuits.
  • Practice using the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, to reset your placement of power august 15, 2012 post four agreements plus one (this strongly diminishes your sense of fear).
  • Set your internal personal goals as paramount for your energy and behavior so that you are not spending oodles of time meeting others expectations but rather directly focusing your energy and resources on what brings you joy.  This returns you to empowerment rather than a sense of smallness and disempowerment. It moves you out of reactivity and into proactivity.
  • Accept that your path to ‘greatness’ doesn’t follow the same path as others and embrace your friends’ successes with the sense that this increases your chance of greatness too (rather than experiencing the sense of competition or limited chances to greatness).
  • Focus love and compassion toward yourself and others.
  • Release the need to prove your point.

Be willing to adjust your position as you receive new information.  Be free to grow, change, and uplevel your understanding and consciousness.

  • Receive criticism from others as if it is coming from someone who deeply and truly loves you, this shifts your receptiveness, because it disallows a sense of defensiveness  – then you can ascertain if there is a grain of truth in it or of no value.

The idea of someone trying to overpower you is co-created.  You and she co-create the drama.  You can disarm the overpowering fear by following these steps.  In most circumstances this will free you to create a different more equally empowering situation.  If it doesn’t, if the other person really wants control, just remember you have free will in how you want to participate.

You cannot engage your free-will when you are in a reactive mode.  Pay attention to what causes reactivity in you. Heal that and you can remove the target from your back for those who are consciously and unconsciously engaging in this fear promoting behavior.

This will free up a huge amount of energy for you to create precisely what your heart desires.

Make real efforts to not act as if you are somehow more evolved than another, that actually is a provocative/bullying tactic. in love and light, bg

front cover.me2we

Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON:  The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013.


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sleep like a dog for a long life

Hello and Welcome!

This post offers excellent support to increase your healthy balanced living.

Li Ching-Yuen was purported to have lived 256 years in China dying in 1933.  When asked the secret to his long life he related his knowledge for longevity in this simple sentence: “Retain a calm heart, sit like a turtle, walk like a pigeon, and sleep like a dog.”

retain a calm heart may also be translated to maintain a tranquil mind… this is a direct reference to meditation.  Over the years many studies have shown the deep and abiding benefits of meditation; showing that focused mindful meditation helps with maintaining healthy brain function and cardiovascular function.  Meditation increases resilience to stress.

...sit like a turtle is a reference to stillness, being still, allowing stillness without distraction and without multitasking…this allows for the fullness of each experience and allows for rejuvenation…there is significant evidence that the amount of stimuli requiring attention or the amount of multitasking required by americans leads to stress and allostatic overload.  Creating stillness increases space for rejuvenation and a return to balance.

walk like a pigeon, also translated as walking quickly or sprightly, this referenced moving rhythmically and frequently.  This seems to keep the body, heart and mind activated and attentive without a sense of hyperactivity.  Activity with rest is the most balanced style of physical development and health.

sleep like a dog…this is indeed my favorite as it references the importance of not aspen and romeo asleep 3-12holding onto anything that causes anxiety, releasing unforgiveness, allowing past to be past and being in the now…conserving energy and embracing the importance of deep and fulfilling sleep…healthy in-balanced dogs take frequent naps when there is a lull in activity and then awake refreshed ready to pounce on the day or evening.

When you focus on living in a healthful, balanced fashion you increase your lifespan and decrease the negative effects of aging.  Living out of balance shortens your lifespan.

In a time when there is debate about health insurance and the issue of accessibility it is important to see through the propaganda to truth.Health insurance doesn’t precisely increase accessibility.  Healthcare is not health insurance.  In order to increase accessibility, many shifts are required.

You can sidestep this problem, if you are currently healthy or moderately out of balance, by increasing your balanced practice in living.

Consider the issues of spirit, body, and mind.  (You may also read this series of articles on shifting your attitude, connecting to your spirit, and balancing your life, to develop your 4×4 Habits to Health.)

How are you increasing your risk for imbalance and need for health care?  Ask yourself these questions.

  • Do you have difficulty sleeping?  Do you awaken after a full nights sleep and feel unrested?
  • Do you feel sluggish?  Do you have an ongoing sense of fatigue?
  • Do you have trouble exercising either due to a lack of energy or pain?
  • Do you have chronic pain?
  • Do you have a pervasive sense of uneasiness or anxiety?
  • Do you feel overwhelmed with your tasks and responsibilities?
  • Do you feel you overeat, or drink alcohol, or use drugs to deal with your stress level?
  • Do you feel isolated?  Or do you feel too much responsibility for those for whom you care?
  • Do you eat food you know is not good for you because you are too busy to make good food? Or do you eat food that is not good for you because you have to eat quickly and on schedule?
  • Are you overweight and find you cannot seem to drop the weight even when you try?
  • Do you have unresolved anger or unforgiveness regarding earlier injuries, losses, or relationship issues?
  • Do you feel bereft spiritually?
  • Do you feel apathetic?
  • Do you feel angry, and short-tempered more than 30 % of your waking time?

If you get more than half answers in the positive, your life is out of balance.  This kind of imbalance can lead to heart disease, increased bad cholesterol, increased levels of glucose, increased levels of cortisol, decreased energy, difficulties with sleep and the overall regenerative processes built into your integrated spirit, mind and body processes, and a more rapid aging process.  To make the necessary shifts in your habits of living, begin with the above mantra.  You can start today!

Up to now, the western medical program in the US has been to enable Americans to behave in an unbalanced way and then get treatment for their bad behavior, calling this health care treatment.  Now that we are moving into a socialized medicine program, this will begin to diminish.  less and less will unbalanced, unhealthy behavior be supported through medical treatment.  This is because the cost to do so is very high.

As you look over the last 120 years there is an interesting observation of overindulgence, then abstinence with the pendulum swinging toward each end in succession.   Letting go and partying then pulling in and recuperating.  The ground for this warfare being your body.  When lifespans were closer to fifty years rather than one hundred years, this overindulgence only shortened a person’s life slightly.  Now, individuals who want to live longer will have to live healthier more balanced lifestyles to have their bodies be working efficiently at the end of their lives.

“Retain a calm heart, sit like a turtle, walk like a pigeon, and sleep like a dog.”  OR

Change your attitude, Heal your spirit, Balance your life… if you want to find a deeper practice or just want support in finding your way to balance, you can contact me at my website for more intensive coaching or other great resource material, www.bethgineris.comin love and light, bg

photo of two dogs sleeping:  Lisa Aldon

front cover.me2we

Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON:  The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE:  The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013.


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Create Space for Joy, 3 steps

Hello and Welcome!

Real joy heals.

Here are three simple steps to create space for Joy to come into your energetic, personal field and Balance your Life.

  • One remove fight from your vocabulary.
  • Two focus on your strengths rather than your limitations.
  • Three Be Grateful…even when you are in dire circumstances.

Whether you experience Joy or not is completely up to you…

What happens to you is outside of your control HOW you respond to what happens to you is COMPLETELY within your control.

Joy is a matter of attention and intention.

Practice these three steps every day and you will create space for JOY.

Your environment may not change immediately but as you change…and because all of life is a system, once you change your joyous effect on your environment will positively affect everyone and everything within it.

This works in both directions, choosing joy creates more pleasing (and less negative experiences) and choosing negativity begets more negative experiences.

If you want to Change the world, or just change your world…BE the change…. change your perspective, change your language…be in your relationships what you want to experience in relationship.

Change how you see, look for connection, understanding, and moments of perfection.  Have that attention and intention drive how you see and you will experience more space for Joy.

Three steps: remove fight from your vocabulary, focus on your strengths, and be grateful practiced daily create space for Joy.

I am deeply grateful for your continued interest and fantastic work on the planet. in love and light, bg