upleveling consciousness | InstinctiveHealthParenting4U

May 17, 2014
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Attachment to Ideology versus Attachment in Bonding

You have mirror neurons in your brain that help you connect and feel empathy, uplevelling consciousness blog, 5.15.14. These help you develop connections, feel connected, attached in the Bowlby-an sense (Attachment, John Bowlby, Basic Books, 1969) and belong to society. This is a basic driving force in human development.

But how you develop your connections, how you discern what to do and how to do it is through modeling, through observing your environment so IF your environment is chaotic and skewed you will develop a skew in how you connect, what you perceive as normal, and what you attach to with respect to your group connections, beliefs and values (Bowlby, Holmes, Gineris).

This is how basic marketing, propaganda, and brain-washing work; especially when the information and presentation is intentionally meant to control thinking and actions. The range of manipulation goes from benign to harmful.

With this in mind, the word attachment has two vastly different meanings depending on the context.

Attachment in bonding can free you, assist you in developing a stronger sense of esteem and resilience or strength

Attachment to ideology can numb you and skew your thinking patterns or actions so that you have limited freedom and control.

Understanding the positive effects of attachment in bonding is really important to use the mirror neurons and modeling to create a higher level of consciousness. Bowlby’s work references that attachment is necessary for individualization and interdependence. You move from a dependent relationship to independence to the capacity for interdependence in relationship. (see more also in Turning No to On: The art of Partnering with Mindfulness, Gineris, 2013). This cannot be accomplished without attachment. There is actually a psychiatric behavioral problem called reactive attachment disorder, an excellent 2013 blog re: new DSM 5 criteria for RAD, specifically because being attached is the first step in evolving into an independent whole being able to make connections with others. Attachment in bonding occurs in the first few years of life and if the opportunity is missed, distorted, interrupted, neglectful or traumatic then the capacity for the child to develop a healthy attachment is dramatically affected (negatively). This is similar to imprinting with ducks, there is a time period within the human brain to incorporate this experience of connection and bonding – when it is missed the child may not be able to efficiently develop empathy, and the capacity for connection.

Understanding the negative aspects of attachment in an entirely different context. Being attached to an idea or a specific way in which something should look leads a person down a path of inflexibility, and a lack of a capacity to paradigm shift and collaborate; the person is unable to have an interdependent relationship. The person is actually driven to create this picture and therefore misses the opportunities in relationship and life. Here attachment refers to a perception attachment, attachment in perception or paradigm- an attachment to things looking a certain way or an ideology– rather than the concept of attachment to a significant other in bonding.

Attachment to an idea or perception is something that is cognitive in nature and can be undone. It requires insight. It requires mindfulness and the capacity to paradigm shift. When you look at the picture to the left you may see a duck – or a bunny. What you see has something to do with your attachment to what a duck or bunny look like. If you are strongly attached to one paradigm you may not be able to see the other. This is a tangible example of how attachment to an idea can create conflict, battles, where the conflict doesn’t exist. Both images are there, depending on your orientation. Most arguments are about perception, orientation, and beliefs that are connected to context. Once you can see the other side and see both sides then you can see your attachment and then choose to remain attached or find a middle space in the interaction. (Gineris, 2013)

In parenting the more you can develop a strong resilient healthful attachment with your child the better your child’s ability to create powerful, positive relationships throughout his or her life. For more on how to do that check out the books at the end of this blog.

In relationship the more you can see though your identified attachment to things looking a specific way – which drives you to react habitually in relationships rather than to respond in real time in a mindful way- to mindfully interacting, the better and more fulfilling your relationships can and will be.

When talking about attachment, clarify the context. Strengthen bonding through trustworthy responsiveness to your child. Respond in the moment with an open, mindful mind and loving heart, and your relationships will broaden and strengthen. in love and light, bg

Bowlby, John. Attachment. Basic Books Inc, Publishers: New York, 1969.

Gineris, Beth, Turning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness. Createspace: Charleston, NC, 2011.

Gineris, Beth, Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness. Createspace: Charleston, NC, 2013.

Holmes, Jeremy, Attachment, Intimacy, Autonomy. Jason Aronson, Inc: Northvale, New Jersey, 1996.

(Gesell, Ames, and Ilg – any of their books on child development.)

You can find out more in at http://www.bethgineris.com.

Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in our relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment,Power, Structure). in love and light, bg

May 16, 2014
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

Pushing Yang over Yin energy for power: feminism swirling out of balance, part 2

How feminism went awry.

I perceive men and women to be two aspects to a whole; that masculine and feminine (yang and yin) energy create a wholeness within each being, and together for partnering. As with many species the masculine and feminine aspects of the whole are different due to what roles each take within the milieu of the species, and this also varies for each human. So that men and women, each, are comprised of masculine and feminine aspects, for Jung that is like anima and animus within each man and woman, or from the Taoist and Confucian traditions yang and yin.

Feminism would have been better to focus on the concept of equity. So that if a woman was built such that she could carry a gun and fight in a war she could/would have the opportunity to do so..and be paid equally, and if a woman chose to care for her children enter and leave the workforce, her choices, would be supported and honored by the feminist movement.

Women (and Men) supporting all women’s choices increasing the opportunities that were available to women would have been a more fruitful role of the feminist movement.

Instead the leaders and proponents of feminism created a hierarchy of what was acceptable and honored by feminists. What feminism did was demoralize and put down women who chose to do work that the feminist movement was working against, while uplifting the kind of work that was seen as important (an example of this was the attacks on mrs Romney and mrs bush in the media, and by feminists in general, or at least the complete ignoring of how these women were demoralized by the media– ie: treating mrs Romney like she had no value in her opinion because she had ‘never worked’ because ‘all she did was run the household, and raise four or five children on her own, while her husband was working outside the home’).

This lack of outrage, when women who were choosing to take roles that were not supported by feminist theory were attacked, is a form of control. It is a yang style of controlling the message of what being a strong woman is as well as educating the younger generation of women to direct them into specific action, or be left alone without the support of the group (feminists).

This style of control is yang in nature. And the activities supported by the feminist movement values Yang energy and yang roles (aggressive, and pushing up and out energy) over Yin energy and yin roles (caregiving, creative from within, concretizing and supporting energy). Yang is masculine. Yin is feminine. For balance both are required. Focus on one over another results in imbalance.

This is the masculinization of femininity through feminism -> feminists putting down traditional roles and defining what roles were valuable… Focussing on developing yang aspects of femininity over the yin aspects — therefore making yang more valuable than yin. This has negatively affected the whole balance of the species and society.

I see this most starkly with reference to parenting and to a lesser extent on the arguments for abortion at any time for any reason.

The issue of parenting, childrearing and leading through caregiving and passage of culture to children through childrearing is a most powerful and positive role that had been generally embraced by women. Today’s feminists, and the feminists of the nineties through the millennium, have so aligned with the power potential through the yang aspects of power that they have essentially discarded this role. Some say this is in the effort to get women to be taken seriously in the workforce; others more privately report they remember their mothers were not taken seriously or did not have the freedom and power of their gender counterparts and so these women have simply dissected that role from their repertoire of roles.

If, the Feminist focus was on equally representing the value of parenting, running the home- which is like a CEO of a company- even the vast work involved in the running of the many charities that women who are not working outside the home participate in and develop, then it would have increased the value in childbearing, and the recognition that childrearing imparts the beliefs and values of society —

This is the reason that in countries where women are truly repressed, through control of their bodies, highly limited freedom, and the lack of education, the women are unable to effect a positive role in the upbringing of the children and so unable to create a shift away from the demoralization of women in those countries. In America where women have much more freedom, access to education, and greater choice in how they choose to partner, work and live…and thus the ability to create change as part of a group, (which feminism could have offered to women), we have diminished the importance of education, childrearing, charity work, community work and many yin aspects of negotiation, collaboration, compassion, and finding ways to not compete but to strengthen through collaborative work – valuing all parts of the whole not just the winner/ yang aspect.

Feminism has let whole generations down in the out of control focus on yang energy and the masculinization of the feminine.

The focus on individuality- increasing a women’s ‘power’ to have the same ‘rights’ as a man to be free to do whatever she wants, has left no one to help to create the fabric of community which is often the feminine yin role. And it has most negatively affected yin capacities in the social network… Education childrearing, compassion, collaboration.

Competition, power-over in a hierarchical fashion– ever moving upward – all yang aspects are the stronger focus– and many of the civil rights issues of today (not of the sixties for black Americans) are about being accomplished primarily through the very actions that the victimized group is saying shouldn’t be done… This is not transcending the problem to actually uplevel. That was the beauty of Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi, they transcended the anger and the hatred to connect at the human level. They did not attack the perpetrators, but really acted in the way they were requesting of others to act toward their cause.

This is what feminism could do but not what feminism has done. That’s why I call feminism the masculinization of femininity.

Here is an example of feminism in action, young women ostracizing, dismissing, and labeling – saying on one hand that everyone is welcome, and that tolerance of all was paramount, but their specific actions were to be exclusive and not even allow a young woman to speak, based on a label.

Transcending the problem incorporating yin and yang elements to balance would have resulted in an elevation of consciousness wherein women are not discriminated against nor are children or men. To see how children are being harmed by this course of focus by the feminist movement read part 3 of this series. in love and light, bg

May 6, 2014
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 6 Comments

Sound Healing 2; feel the vibration, allow the shift, elevate your consciousness

Sound waves, ocean waves, and seismic waves are all called mechanical energy waves. These have the ability to move through matter. Vibration and sound have the power to heal.

Sound is a powerful healer.

Consider the effect certain songs have on you. The effect of a song is not only related to your psychological connection to it in the development of your life, but also to the tone and harmony of it, and how it relates to your internal energetic systems. Classical music and the Beatles have the ability to create a sense of balance, this is directly related to the healing power of sound.

This is the meditative and balancing power of chanting and toning. Healing Sound, Instinctive Health Medicine, 2.23.14

All the senses have a healing effect. Sight, Taste, smells (scent), Touch and Sound are all powerful avenues to balance your physical body. Each of these senses offers an avenue to connect Spirit, Mind, and Body.

Taste: In Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine, specific flavors positively align your body based on which elements are out of balance. Bitter for Fire (Red): Heart/small Intestine channel (think discernment and a lack of joy or out of balance mania); Sweet for Earth (yellow-orange): Spleen/stomach channel disharmonies (think worry, pensiveness, depression); Pungent or Bland for Metal (white): Lung/large Intestine disharmonies ( think OCD, grief, lack of breath, difficulty with holding on or letting go; difficulty in choosing due to not knowing authentic self); Salty for Water (black): kidney/Bladder disharmonies ( think fear, phobias, stuck due to inability to choose best action due to fear, staying in harmful situation, deep insecurity due to life/death trauma); Sour for Wood (green): liver/gall bladder disharmonies (think anger, shame, rage, inability to forgive, hyper-vigilance). These tastes help to bring into balance the interactive five element systems. You can find more here: http://www.yogitimes.com/article/five-chinese-elements-cleanse-release-clarify/

Sight/Color: There are many ways you can use color to help in healing. You may use colors in reference to food, as above. There are specific mantras and chakra connections for specific colors. See more here: https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2013/06/22/life-lessons-in-relationships-energy-and-color/ . Additionally focus on positive images, make an effort to dismiss and release negative images. There are studies that show that humans (and other highly developed mammals, elephants, dogs, dolphins and whales, and chimpanzees, gorillas, and monkeys) have mirror neurons. These mirror neurons are in our brains and affect how we choose to be in the world; what we see affects our perceptions at an integral level. So the more you can see positive, interactive, high level consciousness behavior the more you will actualize this kind of civilization. More about this in future posts.

Smell/scent is a powerful healing tool as well. Consider that the most powerful sense is smell for memory and recognition. Partners often find the scent of their partner to be the most appealing aspect of their connection. Babies know their mother by her scent. The brain connection for your olfactory sense is directly connected to your limbic system which underscores the visceral aspect of this sense. I use Do-terra oils in my practice to cleanse and release unwanted or unneeded negative beliefs held in the auric field. Here are a few suggestions: https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/03/11/energy-breath-and-balance/ .

Touch/the feeling sensation has been studied for many years. Healing touch is one of the most powerful healing tools. This is related to both the psychological experience of not being alone and the desire for humans to feel connected, (one of the primary softwire drivers in the human brain system, as supported by the importance of mirror neurons and how they drive the development of empathy), and to the physical system of your muscles. Along your skin and within the muscle is a set of nerves they are constantly informing your brain about situations as safe or not and what is happening to the body, so that your brain can take an action. These systems fire when there is discomfort or an injury. They turn off or return to a lower setting when the area that is firing is touched…consider the immediate tendency to touch your finger (knee, hip. shoulder etc) when you bump or hit it. Or how this action calms a child when s/he is injured…indeed that is a perfect example of the healing power of touch. Resetting a system that has ben firing for years is the work involved in the treatment of myofacial trigger points, fibromyalgia and post traumatic stress disorder. Massage, acupuncture, and Reiki all utilize methods to reset the body through touch.

So let’s talk about sound. Sound is a powerful healing tool.

If sound waves are mechanical energy waves that can move through matter, then it clarifies how sound can clear out and heal blockages in your chakras, your physical body, and your emotional and auric fields.

Sound in conjunction with color, scents, and mindful meditation to clarify your thinking work together very efficiently. I have found that the longer a block has been manifesting in your body the more difficult it is to release it. Children respond very quickly to resetting through sound and smell. When you combine tools you have a more efficient and less drastic release, almost as if the negativity simply peels off and is transformed.

There are specific sounds for each chakra:

c,d,e,f,g,a,b are the notes for the seven chakras typically identified. The toning bowls that sound at each of these notes can assist in healing these specific chakras.

In addition, my Kototama teacher, dr. Jeffrey Meyer, taught me that chanting the vowels: eh, ee, ah, O, oo in a repeated fashion with one breath can align the various chakras through aligning the five elements in your visceral and etheric system.

You can listen to a small scale of this chanting here: Healing Sound.

When you are feeling out of balance you can use this technique to center yourself and align your physical and spiritual self. You may notice certain sounds are easier, stronger, or more difficult this gives you an idea of where you may be out of balance. As you develop an understanding of the connection between the sounds and the elements, you may utilize this connection and sound to heal yourself.

Even without this level of awareness you can feel yourself strengthening and balancing by repeating the sequence with your breath until you feel the shift and rebalancing. Listen again to the above link, you may notice the difference in strength and alignment from the first to the third toning in the above audio link.

There are crystal bowls for c#, d#, f#, g# and b#.

There is evidence that new energy centers are developing within our chakra system that correspond with these sharp notes. These can assist you in developing your capacity for breath, the diaphragm chakra (d#) or in opening the thymus or higher heart chakra (f#) which can assist with increased immunity, as well as the Zeal point or Mouth of God chakra at the base of the occiput,( g#), which assists with compassion and telepathy, a deeper connection with spirit and the universe. I have not investigated the evidence about the relationships between these centers and astrology, but this figure offers a sense of the new chakra configuration and sounds. I have been using the e, f#, and g# in my practice and find these sounds to be profoundly healing.

Here is a link to all the newly developing chakras and sounds, crystal singing bowls.

As you are developing your understanding of these bowls, chakras and sounds, you may also want to address blockages in your thinking or beliefs.

Work with the first set of chakras first, root, sacral, and solar plexus as these will help to keep you grounded as you move into higher energetic realms. You can use color to amplify the strength of these chakras. Meditation on the chakra will enhance your clarity about what you need and how well balanced you are.

You may want to work with these blockages by simply using cognitive inversions, reframing the difficulties into gifts and aligning with the power of gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness.

Acupuncture, energy work, therapy, journaling, yoga and breathwork are all helpful in realigning with your true power and integrated self.

Yoga is an excellent source of support, because it utilizes breath attention, and intention in an integrated way to align your spirit, mind and body. Through Yoga you are increasing the amount of light you are pulling into your energetic system. It helps to lengthen your spine so that you can actually hold more light.

Recognize that you have the power to heal within in you simply through accessing your internal sensory guidance system. You are a sensory, spirit being. Develop and exercise your muscle of attention and intention this will strengthen your intuition and you access to health immediately.

You can heal through these methods and develop your own model of resetting your balance through them. See more here: https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2013/04/10/faith-vs-fear/ .

Breath, toning and sound, clarification of your intent, all, will create an opportunity for you to elevate your consciousness. Embrace the power to heal within yourself and clear the path to a new level of consciousness in thought and action. in love and light, bg

For a medical intuitive session, chakra balancing, or sound healing session please contact me at my website, dr beth gineris, at www.bethgineris.com, classes & healing sessions

dr beth gineris, dr laura wolf, (of Wolf Acupuncture), and chris wolf will be together at Mama’s Minerals in Albuquerque, NM to demonstrate and offer Sound Healing in real time come out and join us for an amazing day of Healing, Saturday May 10, 2014, 10-3 Mama’s Minerals Alternative Fair Info. We have developed an ibook download that you can use at your convenience and we will be demonstrating its power there. Discover the amazing power you have within to heal yourself, in love and light, bg

March 9, 2014
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

ego…no ego: balancing inner desires with outer expectations

The fastest way to align with the best parts of yourself and perceive the oneness of all humankind is through the ego.

The ego is the mindful aspect of your self. In fact, if you want to get to no-ego you want to fully embrace ego, and then you will observe no-ego within you as you elevate your consciousness to oneness with all. (Gineris, turning me to we:the art of partnering with mindfulness, 2013)

This is not unlike the very power of breath in yoga to dissolve the blocks of energy within your muscles. Embracing the blockage, and breathing with and through it transforms the energy.

The concept of ego in psychological theory is the role of mediator and rebalancer in the tripartite aspect of the human mind developed by Freud.

The ego’s job is to mediate between the primitive needs and wants, the id, of an individual and the introjected societal shoulds and should nots inculcated from your parents, the superego. (Freud, the ego and the id, 1923)

The ego has gotten a bad rap from alternative healers indicating that it is power and control based. I suspect this has to do with the Buddhist concept of living free of inner desires. There is no need for a mediating aspect of mind if you are not in such an inner battle between self and society.

Another confusing piece of the puzzle is the term egoistic or egotistic, it references an inflated picture of self and selfish behavior. The root of these words is ego and so there is a tendency to attach selfish, power-hungry meaning to the word ego.

But this is the same mistake as calling someone who is hypomanic depressed. it is understanding the meaning of the prefix hypo, less or under, without understanding the meaning of the word. When an individual is hypomanic she is agitated frustrated, aggressive, but not in a full-blown manic state… so just under (hypo) mania. She is still hyper-aware and hyper-agitated.

Your ego is not selfish but rather holistic, attempting to discern ways to guide your actions and thinking toward caring for individual needs while living under the expectations of society.

The problem with an interpretation of ego as power-hungry is that it pulls you away from the part within you that is actually guiding you toward spirit.

Ego is that aspect of yourself that invites compassion, neutrality, lovingkindness, and the concept that we are all one to come into your mind.

Shift your relationship to the word ego by clarifying the underlying meaning.

Avoid acting in a selfish manner.
Use mindfulness, compassion, and lovingkindness in your decision-making.
Breathe
Embrace the perfection of spirit already within you, guiding you toward the most holistic and loving action that allows for the oneness of the universe to be represented.

Ego/no-ego, rebalance your internal picture so that you can increase your empathy and connect to the spirit within you that is connected to all. Then your needs and society needs (or group, or couple needs) clarify, become aligned, and your actions are empathetic, bounded, and resonant from an inner security.in love and light, bg

dr beth gineris is an integrative medicine practitioner in albuquerque, new mexico. she offers compassionate, mindful guidance to online coaching clients and clinic patients daily using her medical intuitive, clinical counseling, energetic rebalancing, and oriental medicine skills. you can find her at http://www.bethgineris.com

Das, Lama Surya. Buddha Is as Buddha Does: The Ten Original Practices for Enlightened Living. HarperCollins, 2007.
Freud, Sigmund. The Ego and The Id. w.w. Norton & co.,1923.
Gineris, Beth. Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness. Createspace, 2013, p186-190.

February 8, 2014
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

Turning Me to WE, understanding the Me-style of partnership

Dear Friends Welcome!

A friend requested elucidation of how the Me-style works if you are the one who gives yourself away by not holding or setting boundaries, especially when you are in partnership with a person who tends toward narcissism.

The me style is the concept ‘two halves make a whole’ perspective. If in your situation you are the one who can’t say no, you have difficulty setting the boundary. If you are partnered with a narcissist, your partner has no capacity for empathy, no ability to actually see your point of view. In psychological terms a person who is narcissistic is not specifically selfish – you can be selfish and not be narcissistic. To be diagnosed as a narcissist you have to lack empathy. The other diagnosis that has no capacity for empathy is a sociopath. What the two have in common is this lack of empathy.

Typically people who are caught in relationships with either sociopaths or narcissists have poor boundaries and lack self esteem (undeveloped inner security) and so don’t say no. They lose their sense of me, giving it away to their partner in hopes to feel/be loved.

The question where is the me is an apt one. The set of parameters for the me-style is dependency, diffuse or no boundary, lacks empathy, inner insecurity. Remember it’s a style of partnering – so the driving focus is the driving me-need (for the giver away of self – the me-need that is driving is a need to be loved by an other – so although it looks like there is no me on her/his part, s/he is being driven by an insecurity me-need).

YOU can strengthen yourself by developing a healthy set of boundaries (defining and living through a set of boundaries of what is reasonable to give and take in relationship) and a healthy style of saying no ( identifying when you feel taken for granted by developing your awareness of your senses) as well as developing your inner security (discovering what you want and not accepting less than that- this includes recognizing your strengths and your limitations, and how these play into what you want in relationship).

Setting up these boundaries, increasing your sense of inner security, and developing compassion for yourself and your partner will get you ready for an independent, I-style relationship.

You may either grow together into a clearer more bounded relationship OR you may release each other to develop the next style of relating: Two circles 00 walking side-by-side independently with firm, clear boundaries. In this, the I-style, you may have to deal with stiffer boundaries as you develop your capacity to say no. You may even find you are less flexible because you are defining those lines that you do not want crossed.

Once you feel comfortable in that kind of relationship you can develop flexibility with your boundaries and your paradigm recognition, shifting, and integration…. Thus allowing you to easily Move Into interdependence, through focus on connection and collaboration where both parties matter and a we-style of relationship.

Development through the different styles is a process. Once you know where you are in the series of Me, dependent (co-dependent, driven by a set of inner insecurities), diffuse boundaries; I, independent (rigid boundaries, unable to say yes, due to a fear of losing self); We, interdependent, flexible boundaries focused on what you want rather than what you fear; then you can use that knowledge to develop qualities of empathy, boundaries, and inner security to get unstuck and achieve a more mutually satisfying relationship.

You can find out more in Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, (Gineris 2011); Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, (Gineris 2013).

and discover where you are in the MAAPS section. This will help you to manage your insecurities and understand how and why you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure). in love and light, bg

January 31, 2014
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

Mind reading 101

Ever hear from your partner,

‘do you expect me to be a mind-reader?’

Well, the truth is

Yes you do!

Why?

Because if your partner really paid attention then he or she would know what you want in the relationship.

Using your full capacity to listen, and pay attention results in the other person feeling seen, loved and understood. This article is about mind-reading 101.

Mind reading…. 101. It’s really about being mindful and observant, like a mentalist, which will look and feel like you have esp. When you pay attention with all your senses and mindfulness you can really understand your partner. And, when you feel heard by someone else you feel real and loved.

Kahlil Gibran references this in his poem book, The Prophet (1923, 1978, 1984). Which is an oft-quoted book at marriage ceremonies.

Thich Nhat Hanh’s Mindfulness book, Peace Is Every Step (1991, Bantam Books, New York), offers insight:

“Darling do I understand you enough? Or am I making you suffer?Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly…..” Real Love, pg 80.

“Love is a mind that brings peace, joy,and happiness to another person. ….The essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves ‘inside the skin’ of the other. We ‘go inside’ their body, feelings, and mental formations, and witness for ourselves their suffering. Shallow observation as an outsider is not enough to see their suffering. …When we are in contact with another’s suffering, a feeling of compassion is born in us. Compassion means, literally, ‘to suffer with’.

…” Meditation on Compassion, pg 81, 82.

To develop this quality in yourself, follow these 6 easy steps.

Know yourself. Develop your understanding of your wants, your strengths, and limitations. Once you know where you are you can allow yourself to feel trust and then open to your partner’s needs, wants, and perspectives. Knowing yourself allows you to connect with other’s and see not only your own perspective but that of another.
Open your heart. From an open heart you can hear through defensiveness. From an open heart you are able to practice compassion and loving paradigm shifting. Think duck, bunny paradigm shifting – both are real/true/accurate, just different perspectives of the same image:
Reset your senses to neutral. This is the idea of choosing to connect rather than be right. Choosing to remove fight from your vocabulary in order to focus on deflecting negative or attacking energy and going underneath that to the injury or suffering or pain of the other and seeking to create/find understanding and connection.
Observe another’s face, voice/tenor, and gestures. Stop, look, and listen. Make the connection through observation and clarification. Pay attention, notice incongruence and seek a way through to a deep understanding and knowing of your partner.
Use yourself as a reflection of your partner. Feel into your own body as a reflection of the other’s heart rate, anxiety, breathing, tension, peace; listen to your inner voice – for something off, something strong, something intuitive.
Speak your feelings and thoughts, use clarification and inquiry from a balanced loving neutral place – not defensive. Reflect what you see as the incongruence. Deflect/deflate another’s anxious negativity, or look for clarification of how he or she got there… discover what was the preceding action that triggered the anxiety or angry response; feel into yourself and then inquire from your partner, to ascertain what you partner is looking to receive so that he or she feels seen, heard, connected and loved. Once you understand or get clarity on this information, give it lovingly and without condition.

Your capacity to read another’s mind is directly related to your personal self-knowing and your desire to connect, understand, and paradigm shift.

Meditation, Mindfulness, Removing fight from your vocabulary, and Developing you connection to your internal sensory guidance center are actions that improve your capacity to develop compassion, understanding, and care within you.

Living in this way will elevate your spiritual consciousness and result in deeper, more powerful, and mutually satisfying relationships in all aspects of your life. in love and light, bg

January 5, 2014
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

Living in the Light…be a rebel

Living in the Light is more than being positive.

Living in the Light is knowing that you are loved, knowing that you are protected, knowing that you are in sync with your higher self and higher power goals.

The power to change your world, and by transitive property the world around you, is in your mindset. Your perception of yourself at the center of your world. This is not a narcissistic centeredness, it is a grounded and upleveled understanding that what you experience as truth is what you see.

So if you experience as truth the world is against you and you are a victim, this will be what you identify in all your interactions and therefore, what you will reinforce as truth. You will enhance the energy of lack and being invisible or unappreciated.

However, if you stand in the center of your life, and expect good things to be your experience you will observe miracles all around you. This requires a willingness to eschew fear, ‘what if’, ‘if only’, and anxiety as your experience of the world. It requires an unbounded willingness to see how the world is working on your behalf and have faith in the spiritually upleveled aspects of the world around you. This requires compassion, lovingkindness, and a focus on connection rather than competition. So, when you hear hatefulness spewing from another rather than reacting in hatefulness, you send to that person love and compassion; you allow yourself to hear the pain, fear, or misunderstanding underneath that hate so that you can assist in his or her elevation by simply responding with love and compassion. Remember, a fight can only continue when you punch back. If you do not engage in the fight with reactive hatred or anger, you open the space for understanding, peace, forgiveness and light to enter.

In the animal world, the alpha male and alpha female exert power over the group through competition for limited resources. Often physical strength and creation of alignments push out others and create a space where the alpha exerts control. Today we simultaneously label this bullying and reinforce it with the according of power — this mixed message of it being labeled bad when a little boy or girl is mean but give power to the winner of a very negative political race — makes it so that the societal message is that playing dirty, winning at all costs and bullying is wholly and completely acceptable in fact honored, so that living in the light is actually going against the norm in this current alpha society.

Our political world has used this style of power to control how the population makes decisions about who is to be in power – using whether something is ‘cool’ as a standard of what to follow. The political world, the publicist, the hollywood environment, uses this to market the buying population and focuses on pre-teens, teenagers, young adults, and those who want to be perceived as hip like these youngsters to control power positions, and make money, even controlling the population to make decisions that are not in their individual best interests. Even the world of spirit, and spiritual health has been overrun with this idea of cool, propaganda for profit. Unfortunately this has made it so there are many groups that use this combination of alpha group power and spiritual upleveling in cohesion so that it is cool to be part of some religions but not others rather than encouraging an overall elevation of spiritual interaction and action on the planet. You can see this in how the political arena tries to scapegoat and denigrate certain people for their religious beliefs and uplevel others that will increase their level of cool.

Living in the light is applying a standard of true spirituality, sincere faithful attention with compassion and lovingkindness toward all beings, as each struggles to find his or her place in the world. So that an enlightened approach, to those who see the world differently from yourself, is to have a willingness to understand their paradigm and then look for ways that you and she agree, so that a true and real conversation can be had rather than a power struggle for power in the marketplace.

Love is the great balancer and neutralizer. Lovingkindness and compassion allow you to live in the light in your approach to all human beings, animals, and plants. It is through this method that the earth shall survive. It is though this method that balance can be reset in the natural earth, because it is the beta mentality that is what is needed for the global society and earth balance to happen. The Beta and the Omega look to balance the Alpha, but our political environment has gone too far with the alpha power structure. This hierarchical style cannot contain the global needs of the earth. The beta-mentality looks for connections, is inclusive and accepting. The omega-mentality is playful, diffuses negativity, and creates an environment for letting off steam without reprisal. The alpha-mentality is most useful in third-dimensional thinking of right/wrong, good/bad, and limited resources, when there is danger from without and there is a need for absolute power, however the dependence on this style of leading, solely, has allowed for oppression, divisiveness, out-grouping, and propaganda to the detriment of global societies. This is not to say that the way forward is through the social-democratic, progressive beliefs of socialism or an over-dependence on governments, Unfortunately these policies enhance the use of propaganda and alpha-style mentality; they create a different style of hierarchy, not centered in the light or spirit. Rather than increase the use of true cohesiveness, connectedness, and mindfulness they diminish even further the importance of elevating all and create a different societal structure that will ultimately create an even smaller degree of peace.

Much of my writing is about paradigm shifting and mindfulness as a way of dealing with not only individual, but also small group and large group interactions. These ideas are infused in many religions, many philosophies both east and west and many successful groups. Not one belief system holds the patent on the idea of mindfulness; it part of Taoist, Judeo-Christian, Hindu, Native American and many other religious and philosophical tenets.

To live in the light is to be continually bringing yourself back to neutral and to discover within yourself a positive bent in all that you do so that you are actually shining light onto others and yourself to bring in the beta-mentality of connection and uplevel capacity of the whole group.

Be a rebel. Make a decision today to lighten your perspective,

move into the light in all our perceptions
eschew competition, fear, limitations, and division,
look beneath the powerful emotional arguments of the propaganda and publicity around you, look at what is considered cool, and see if it fits with what actutally uplevels your world, and the society at large
look for, and allow yourself to see, the underlying goal, of the denigration of specific groups, to acqurie political power
use mindfulness, lovingkindness, compassion and the beta or omega mentality in all of your interactions

In this way you will create peace within yourself and experience connection and understanding in your world. Love is the answer. Love is the way.

in love and light, namaste, bg

Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013.

October 29, 2013
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

Living in the Light

Hello and Welcome!

…..if the universe responds with creating the things where you put your attention then is it better to point out what is wrong in the world or to point out what is right?

Is it Pollyanna to attend only to the positive? the light?…..

The challenge is that you are spirit-humans, anchored to the third dimensional earth plane with duality and limited time, AND corded to the unlimited quality of instant creation through attention, intention, thought, word, and action. Standing one foot in each zone….or plane…. or dimension…

….identifying what needs changing is necessary, it clarifies;

…holding the attention and tending to what you want and seeing that completed, changed, and present in the now is essential for living in the light and upleveling consciousness.

These are challenging, interesting, beautiful times… embrace each perfect moment and link these together to see your world perfectly enlightened.

As I encourage the upleveling of consciousness, I ponder the concept of duality and unity. How might shifting from duality to unity appear or present itself in my everyday world and environment. What might I experience within myself? How might I look, sound, and be? What might I reflect?

Duality feels right/ wrong, good/bad, or light versus dark separating out along continua of opposites. Unity feels all encompassing, embracing, holistic, and inclusive; whorls or inclusive wholes.

When I align with the strength of living in the light, my presence is joyful, happy, and offers the aura of fulfillment. I radiate a sense of peace. I observe others drawn to me and the light opening hearts to increase internal joy.

Living in the light and shining in this way brings to me even more of that enlightened power and inner strength.

What I notice is that this is simple and easy, like breathing when all is peaceful and light around me. When I am faced with a fear-promoting situation, negativity or an experience of attack from without my capacity to remain in the light is challenged.

I reactively shift into the habit of vigilance, thinking, analysis, defense as a protective response. But when I lower my energy to that of mind alone I feel myself isolated and disconnected – fear immediately surrounds me…lowering, my vibration. This disconnection and heaviness feels deficient of light.

When I am living in the light and responding with my internal sensory guidance system I immediately notice the shift and can apply my mindful focus on how I have changed and what preceded the shift to address what has triggered my defensive reaction. Once aware of the event I can reset my place in the light.

This issue of duality feels like a software upload, in order to shift into unity the software in my thinking and action relationship has to be updated to include mindfulness. So even writing about my experience of moving from duality to unity is dualistic… from negativity to positivity.

Utilizing the element of fear or judgment to encourage the upleveling of consciousness is a mistaken action. It pulls on the precise element of duality that you are trying to uplevel, and so creates a type of wobble in your consciousness.

Being joyful, secure, inviting and compassionate uses the action of love to encourage enlightenment.

Gandhi said: Be the change you wish to see in the world. He was encouraging embracing the responsibility for change personally in order to shift the culture or environment one being at a time.

Stephen Covey: Wrote (in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) that in order to create change in your own relationships you should change have to be… so that what you wanted to have in your relationship you needed to be in your interacting style, first.

I realize that if I want to encourage living in the light I need to live in the light and telegraph that light through all my senses so that simply being in my presence another might feel the light and shift within him or her self.

In order for the consciousness of beings on the planet to change those leading the way must change have to be, and be the change of enlightenment.

Living in the light is living in compassion, lovingkindness, and forgiveness, with the attitude of gratitude. Shifting perspective to see the positive in the darkest places to bring light to each; to see the flow between and the whorl of both together so that my and your experience of light can shift consciousness to make mindful, collaborative, connecting healing choices.

Practice these steps to get into, remain, and live in the light of compassion, mindfulness, lovingkindness, forgiveness, and grace:

wake each day with a focus on what is working in your world, and what you desire to experience
change have to be: act in the way you desire others to be, and stand in the center of that action with integrity, and truth
Feel, see, visualize, and be grateful for how your desires are present in the now
use Verbal aikido to deflect, deflate, and define (reset or redefine) negativity and experience of duality into unity.
remove fight from your vocabulary, release defensiveness; replace fight and defense with an earnest interest in understanding, clarity, and collaboration
seek connection, listen to your sensory guidance system, embrace flow

These six steps will return you to balance, increase your awareness, understanding, compassion and experience of unity, and allow the immediate and rejuvenating uplevel of consciousness your soul desires. Change your attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. In love and light, bg

October 24, 2013
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

III: Balance your life, Nourish your Body, Connect to your Community

Hello and Welcome! This is third in a series of articles. III: Balance your Life, Nourish your Body and Connect to Community.

I: Change your Attitude, II: Heal your Soul, III: Balance your Life

III: Balance your Life, nourish your BODY through mindful habits: Eat, drink, sleep, exercise

Eat whole foods

grown or cared for in a humane loving way,

primarily prepared by you or someone you love,

and look like a rainbow to support your physical health.

To promote brain health and increase immunity as well as maintain a healthy memory eat nuts, legumes, and foods that ‘look like a brain”… pecans, walnuts, eggs, cauliflower, cacao, and coffee beans to name a few. check out this post in my other wordpress blog, IntegrativeMedicineStrategiesNow, Brain Food Really.

Drink 3 liters of water a day, more if you exercise or live in a dry climate.

Water, not tea, or coke, or coffee etc…H2O positively helps with your cellular health.

It positively affects your cognition, heart, electrical gastroenterological, kidney-urinary, and immune system – WOW, right?!

Water is profoundly necessary for your body systems and mind to work efficiently, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2908954.

Your hydration needs are affected by your exercise habits, the altitude at which you live, whether you are menstruating, and your personal system imbalances ( ie: slow digestion, toxicity, meds etc).

Exercise 1 hour a day for maximum health

if you are not currently doing this, move up to it slowly to build your muscles and systems in a healthful way. Begin with 20 minutes every other day then move to 15 minutes daily, then 30 minutes every other day and them 20 minutes daily, until you make it to 60 minutes a day.

Choose an exercise regime that suits you, holds your interest, brings in fun.

Positive Benefits of Yoga -> reducing depressive symptoms, and inducing remission in mild to severe depression in depressive disorders – WOW! (Current Psychiatry Vol.8,No10,p39-47).

7 benefits of exercise: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise/HQ01676

Controls weight,

combats health conditions/diseases heart, cholesterol, breath capacity, strength, cognition,

improves mood,

boosts energy,

promotes sleep,

increases interest and capacity for sex,

fun –> creativity, healthy competition, focus, endurance, social, widens interest.

Sleep 6-8 hours a day. Sleep is the most powerful health promoter!

It balances your brain, blood, spirit, reduces pain and inflammation. Don’t ignore it!

Sleep is the great neutralizer and reformer.

Sleep plays an important role in learning and memory consolidation.

Sleep deprivation can result in memory loss and diminished fine motor and cognitive skills;

can impede response time in crisis situations and increase psycho-emotional problems.

Lack of sleep can increase pain experience.

Sleep 7-9 hours each night/get to sleep by 11pm. School-age children need 9-10, Babies/Toddlers require 12-14 hours of sleep; Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep. For kids sleep debt can lead to an increase of restlessness, attentional, oppositionality issues

Sleep affects Cognition, learning, health, experience of pain & stress; it benefits your Spirit, Mind, and Body. http://www.mindfulparentingmag.com/2012/11/29/the-importance-of-sleep/

Consider the power of community, rejuvenation, and networking

Connecting, collaborating, networking, and groups offer a special kind of balance.

Finding a space to belong, share struggles and get support increases your power in maintaining the balance in your life.

Studies show that women respond to stress with tend and befriend.

Connecting in ways that help with self growth and rejuvenation, work interests and social endeavors through focusing on learning or maintaining knowledge helps keep your mind healthy.

Focusing on groups that sustain your body like exercise groups or training or cooking and nutrition groups.

And connecting with spiritual outlets will keep you centered and grounded.

Some of this information is from an earlier InstinctiveHealthMedicine blog entitled focusing on mindful living leads to spirit, mind, body health, July 24, 2013.

See how you can institute these shifts today, re-read all the articles to remain in balance. i: Change your Attitude, II: Heal your soul, III:Balance your life. Enjoy, enlighten, and inspire your self, and your life in every aspect of it, Namaste., () in love and light, bg

Gineris, Beth. Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, 2011; Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, 2013. www.bethgineris.com

August 29, 2013
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

finding your way home

Hello and Welcome!

Your personal sensory guidance system is built within your automated central nervous system. It uses your five plus one senses: sight, smell hearing, taste and touch plus your integrated intuition.

You may think, “I don’t have a sensory guidance system” – “I feel like I am always directed down the same wrong path”...fair enough…here’s why, you may be caught in a feedback loop that just keeps replaying the same scene, with you taking the same action, over and over. This is usually a result of some trauma, loss, or injury.

Once you know that, you create your way out, your free will choice: you can shift out of that feedback loop by changing your perspective and healing your spirit.

A simple shift in focus, release of the weight of trauma or loss, and you can find your way home.
The first step to changing your life is to stop doing your habit.

From that centered space you can then make a choice to release… to let go of the habitual way of seeing and doing so that you can connect to your true inner source, your truth.

Once you have released, you can reset how and who you want to be in your balanced state.

Your way home is following a path to grace…Allowing your heart to lead, guided by your internal sensory guidance system.

From that interior space all of your movements will be holistically in your best interests and support you and your community shifting from Me to WE.

Change your attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life

To find out more about how to Shift away from habits that harm Toward habits that heal you can look into Beth’s groundbreaking book on relationship styles and the insecurity drivers, MAAPS, at the foundation of ineffective, narcissistic relationships. Find out more about Beth at www.bethgineris.com You can purchase the Me to We book there at a 30%discount…see the buy beth’s books page. offered in love and light, bg

InstinctiveHealthParenting4U

Change your Attitude, Heal your Soul, Balance your Life. Uplevel YOUR consciousness. Find your way HOME through MAAPS.

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