Hello and Welcome! Staying centered is remaining balanced. Balanced within your own sphere as well as balanced in your interactions and community. Centeredness and balance infer a collaborative and open response to internal sensations and external expectations.
When you are pulled in one direction or the other this can have the effect of destabilizing you internally as well as you within your environment. It can then skew your energy and focus onto a path that is not in your best interest.
The best way to stay centered is to maintain an internal awareness of your senses. Paying attention to how you feel in each of your internal centers will assist you in staying centered. You may use you internal sensory guidance system – your five plus one senses – to remain centered. The use of mindfulness and paradigm shifting are of great benefit in developing your relationship to your internal guidance system especially through paying attention and neutral observation of your sensory guidance system responses.
One way to develop this relationship to your centers is through the practice of Yoga. This is because you will have the opportunity to connect breath, with the integration of physical body positions and energetic spiritual centers.
In the Yogic tradition there are bandha that need to remain closed or locked as you do various positions to assist in building physical strength and maintain the pose for clarification. These bandha correspond with certain energy centers in your body called chakras. What is useful for the musculature is related to the emotional component of the center – one is at the root chakra and is referred to a kegel closure – the root chakra relates to survival and may connect to issues of fear. The next important bandha that is discussed is the belly button area – holding this bandha closed is described as pressing the belly button to the spine – this is related to the second chakra which deals with creativity of all types including sexuality and procreation. The third bandha that is discussed is described as holding the chin to the chest – this has a dual effect of closing off the throat chakra while opening further the chakra at the third-eye or the brow chakra which relates to inner vision and intuition. By closing off these centers while holding the Yoga positions the practitioner is strengthening the flow of energy within his centers so that the energy doesn’t dissipate. This results in strengthening the muscles and the physical core of the practitioner as well as the energetic flow of internal connection between these centers. This is how an intentional Yoga practice can assist in the strengthening of a practitioner’s sense of being, and remaining, centered.
Any focused attention with breath to your inner sensory guidance system will produce an increase in your awareness about what and how you are feeling, and responding, in any given situation and can provide guidance about what action is in your best interest which includes a choice to not act from an intentional place.
Centering your self is simply paying attention to, observation of, gathering information from, your internal sensory guidance system (your five senses plus one, intuition) and responding from a place of compassion, love, and neutrality to that internally connected information.
Remember that centered sensory guidance information is in general a calm, and charge-free instinct and results in a sense that something is the best response – rather than a loud, pushing-through-to -the-fore, anxiety-filled, reactive response.
Simple focused breathing for 30 seconds to 3 minutes can increase your capacity for mindfulness and can re-center you.
Longer focused, breathing meditation for 15 – 30 minutes can increase your centering-practice even further and allow you a space to reconnect to your inner self and inner center, this has a lovely additional effect of reducing your blood pressure and reducing your sense of anxiety by bringing your fully into the present moment.
A focused intentional Yoga practice can also encourage you to develop a deeper centering practice. For more information check out this article on Yogi Times, connecting spirit mind and body through Yoga.
Any activity that is present moment focused with love and breath will increase your capacity for centering, praying meditation, walking, running, singing, and dancing all have the components for increasing or deepening your integrated spirit, mind, and body connection.
Staying centered increases self-knowledge, self-love, strength, and right-action. In love and light, Beth
Hello and Welcome ! The foundational work of relationship is to maintain a connection and alignment with self while simultaneously connecting with your partner. It requires a thorough understanding of yourself to do this. You have to have a sense of what matters to you, your goals, your talents, and your limitations so that you can negotiate the common ground of the relationship or partnership with your partner.
This is harder to accomplish than your may think because humans have a tendency to hide information from themselves or distort truth in order to feel accepted or to feel approval or fit in to their chosen group. This tendency to hide internal needs may, in one’s youth, assist in avoiding difficult situations or even surviving difficult environments – but the habit later becomes a powerful deterrent to a successful partnership.
Seeking internal guidance and developing an image of your self that coordinates all of the necessary components of your being into a congruent and coherent whole is the first step.
Seek first to know thyself; this suggestion is centered in the understanding that through self-knowledge you can attain your highest goals easily and happily. Once you have an understanding of who you are you can then begin to connect with another in partnership. When you begin the connection process you need to have a certain knowledge of yourself and then you can focus your attention on understanding the other. Through this investigative process you develop the connecting points of your relationship. The better developed your hearing and listening skills, the more facile your capacity to develop relationships.
When beginning a self-discovery, first be willing to accept yourself precisely where you are – it is only through this acceptance that you will have the strength, understanding, and compassion to love yourself. And through love you can then determine if you have things you would like to change in yourself. Self knowing is a starting place for self-development, and relationship development.
One common problem that happens with hearing in relationship is that people get into a habit of hearing what has been said in the past or hearing with a historical negative energy – so that they aren’t actually listening but rather already preparing a defense to what they think they heard.
You may be able to discern this is happening if you are surprised by your partner’s response – for example you say something innocuous and they respond by yelling or with a very negative attitude – using your listening skills you hear the dissonance between what you meant and what was heard by your partner – before mounting your own defensive action I suggest you first ask this question” what did you hear me say?” This will get you and your partner refocused into the present so you can communicate more clearly. And then you can each listen to each other more fully, respectfully and lovingly.
This is true for love and work relationships.
Listening and speaking in a thorough manner when developing the expectations in any relationship will assist both parties in getting what they truly want and connecting more deeply.
This of course is the basic description of mindfulness. Discovering another’s paradigm as well as your own and then shifting these to see the connecting threads is the place of true intimacy, love, and relationship.
This requires attention to subtlety without judgment and with a focus on connection and clarity with acceptance, compassion, and dispassionate observation. It requires hearing and listening both – hearing being that component of noticing when something is off, changes in another’s tone, and tenor – and listening being that component of content, meaning, and feeling that we need to listen to from within us and from the perspective the other.
When I am hearing another I feel their meaning from within me and when I am listening I am aware of not just what I perceive but their perspective as well.
Hearing and Listening to another is the ultimate gift of care – it reveals visibility. From this deep connecting point many negotiation paths are available for relationship.
This is especially true because our world is one of language and verbal, cognitive symbols so that being heard directly relates to being seen and therefore being real. It is why in the reverse many are drawn to do things against their nature through words that drag them away from their true center.
By focusing our attention on truly listening and hearing the true meaning and perspective of another we can develop powerful and sustaining relationships as well as avoid those that seem good on the surface but are without sustenance underneath.
Listening and hearing are fundamental tools in relationship.
May your true spirit be heard wherever you go. With the tone of love and light, Beth.
Hello! Welcome and thanks for your interest and support!
Leadership and will are strongly connected. How the will within is communicated and utilized is different with different leadership styles.
Will without heart can lead to a hollow and disconnected success, and it is also the way to dictatorship.
This can look like a person who drags others forward toward a goal regardless of the consequences. Propaganda, divisive rhetoric, and shoulds and should nots are some of the mechanisms involved in this style of leadership.
Heart without will results in partially developed ideas that swirl around a person but cannot be fully manifested, and this can look like anarchy.
This leadership style has a tendency to be reactive and emotional without a deeper understanding of the complicated factors encompassing the need and end result required. Will is the element that simultaneously presses-on, pushes-through to create the change as well as sees the bigger picture that incorporates the whole of the problem. So heart without that will component results in a lot of emotional smoke without a real transformation – think of the picture of the Peanuts character Linus surrounded by the grey cloud; – all that this leader can see is what is inside his head; he is unable to transform his concerns or ideas into something that can create change, or move a community beyond the vague sense of discontent.
Will and heart together are the best aspects of a powerful, intentional, and transformative leader. These together allow for individual needs and community needs both being attended to in equal measure, and this can look collaborative and consensus in nature, not a dictatorship or anarchist.
The quality of everything we do: our physical actions, our verbal actions, and even our mental actions, depends on our motivation. That’s why it’s important for us to examine our motivation in our day to day life. If we cultivate respect for others and our motivation is sincere, if we develop a genuine concern for others’ well-being, then all our actions will be positive. Dalai Lama
So what matters in this heart and will connection in leadership is attention (present-mindful-focus), and intention (compassionate, loving win-win motivation); caring for others even those with whom you disagree and a focus on mindful, present moment dialogue and action together toward the enhancement of all.
Leadership via collaboration is something more than facilitation of other’s needs. It is not just a separate role of listening and then divining what the group desires – it includes an inner strength of will, and an inner set of principles that are at the heart and will of the need and the solution. It is a spiraling process of involution and evolution allowing for the various aspects of the problem and solution to be identified and incorporated.
Leadership is one of the most human of actions. It incorporates a person’s ability to be altruistic while simultaneously incorporating individual needs.
Hermann Hesse wrote many novels in which he studied the human condition. In Siddhartha, and Magister Ludi which was published posthumously (also published under The Glass Bead Game) he described the individual search for authenticity, self-knowledge and spirituality. He also looked at the issues of individual needs versus needs of the group. His work has a lasting quality of important information for anyone seeking to develop an internal strength of will informed by a powerful heart-based internal guidance system. Understanding how and in what ways individual and group rights and responsibilities interplay is a foundational aspect for effective leadership.
M. Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, and Martin Luther King, jr are representative of this kind of leadership as were the non-religious-biased actions of Jesus and Buddha. These men described a way of thinking and being as well as taking personal actions that were will and heart integrated to assist in the evolution of the spiritual consciousness of the environments in which they lived. These are not the only leaders who have integrated will and heart to create change however these are leaders that are well-known to this generation. Daw Aung San Suu Kyi of Burma (Myanmar) has been practicing this type of leadership to help transform her country throughout the last thirty years.
This idea of change is not owned by any political party, country, or religion it is a way of thinking and being that is directly guided by an integrated inner strength of will strongly influenced by a heart-based internal guidance system. For this system of leadership to be effective and for the profound good of all it cannot be biased by any ideology that is not connected to a genuine caring, compassionate, mindful, lovingkindness toward others, self and community.
You can create the change your group or community needs by integrating your heart and will so that you act from an inner strength of will informed by your heart-based internal guidance system.
You can develop your powerful leadership skills by simply focusing on listening and hearing in an open, evaluative, interested way, guided by your inner strength of will and heart-based internal guidance system, with the goal that best serves the community and the individual together.
For this to be successful and effective you have to:
This information is the focus of the essays throughout this month through May 20,2012.
Be the change you wish to see in the world – Gandhi). Be a leader. Start today by re-focusing your attention and intention to create what you recognize you, and your community, need for health and success.
This information is shared with so much love for you all. Beth
Hello and Welcome! I thought it might be useful to write about what happens when I receive information from source that I have no basis to know – some people call this channeling, others call it psychic, Jungians think of it as connecting with the collective unconscious – it is a type of inner sight.
For me this experience has been like breathing – an internal see-knowing that is sometimes accompanied with language and verbal information about others with whom I am in relationship or have an important connection. I say it is like breathing because it is something that requires no direct attention – we breathe without focus on our breathing, unless in meditation or directed to do something different with our breath. So for me it is the same I breathe, I know or I see-know.
This has happened throughout my life – knowing information about others, often before or without the other speaking the information to me. It has served me extraordinarily well as a therapist and acupuncturist – as I am able to have access to more information when assisting in another’s healing process. It has been problematic with friends and relationships as I have found that sometimes I am privy to information hidden from that person by himself or herself and so the response to my identification and connection with it can be… less than positive. I have had to learn to manage this “gift” of inner sight.
And in learning to manage it I have also developed my skills at accessing the information in a directed way – a dear friend of mine, Betsy-Morgan Coffman, has assisted me in developing this more direct contact so that I may have a sense of control. I am cautious to use the term control, as it has a negative connotation to it. I use it here because for much of my life the information that I received I had no control over at all – it would present itself at the most inopportune times and sometimes when either I really did not want to know the information or the other did not want me to know the information. I felt more accosted by this gift than grateful. And this continues to happen now. However through focused development I have also learned to access this inner sight at the request of others. And this has increased my positive, grateful, relationship with my gift.
When the information comes it is a see-knowing; a picture with words and energy imprint; it is like a flashback of information that is multi-level but has no personal charge. Let me give an example: When I review my living room in my mind’s eye I see each piece of furniture or knickknack and each has a charge of personal story to it as well as a picture of placement and form in space. When I receive the information it is a similar thing in that there is a picture, placement and story including identified emotions but I do not actually feel the charge of the emotion of the story. This difference, this lack of personal emotional charge, cues me to know I am receiving information about another’s experience rather than a remnant from my own life.
When I experience information about something that is currently happening physically with someone then I actually feel it in my body but it is as if I am a mirror.. so if I feel it on my right side it is in the person’s left and if I feel it in an organ then this is generally that organ. And over time I have developed an understanding of how the pain feels relates to the kind of disorder with which the person is dealing – cancer for example has a very distinctive quality. Obviously I have to be able to distinguish between my own pain and that which I am receiving through inner sight so I need to have a clear picture of what is me and what is other.
When I was a young person, I did not know what was me and what was other. I had a very confusing painful childhood; my way through was to learn to clear the pain and as I cleared it through my self then I cleared it through the significant other. I believe my faith and connection to source was invaluable in saving me from insanity, or rather directing me toward mindfulness, compassion, lovingkindness and healing. It did however take a while to understand. In my twenties as a counselor I learned to simply trust the sight, act from the knowing and not directly share how I knew – not with those I was helping nor my supervisors. In my thirties I began to get assistance with developing my gift and over the last few years I have begun to openly share my experience and offer my assistance directly.
I have written poems describing the experience. It has helped me to define how to see through the multi-level inner layers of sight.
I feel at peace now with it and am grateful for this gift.
I share this in hopes that in reading this you may feel empowered to not cover over your true self out of fear or harm or ridicule or simply out of a lack of confidence and may be supported by these words, to reveal yourself to those you truly love and stand in the center of your true self.
We each have amazing gifts, unique and empowering. If you allow yourself to act from your heart center and be guided by your internal sensory guidance system you can transform obstructive, negative situations and create the life you want.
Embrace your true and full self; it may take a shift in perspective, it may take a willingness to accept yourself at a level you have not allowed before… your ability to accept yourself and treat yourself with love is directly related to your capacity to receive love…
Hello and Welcome! Allowing yourself to listen to the vast information available to you through your internal guidance system is essential for mindful, comprehensive communication and right action. Even though this is a natural, instinctual process – it can be eroded in early childhood due to a push to conform to group rules and beliefs – when you want to recapture your connection to this internal guidance you need to increase your awareness and practice paying attention and responding.
The words intention, attention, perspective, and perception increase your awareness and focus you onto the space in a multi-dimensional way. Each word embodies a specific energy or vibration that can wholly stand alone, but when the energy of each term is inked the whole of the process is multi-dimensional.
Feel into the meaning of each of these terms for yourself so that you can get an image of the vibration of the word interacting like an equation with the other words.
Give the internal image dimension through color or shape in how you experience the words interacting.
This will allow you to create your own picture of how to focus yourself onto your path through your inner guidance holding the multi-dimensional information from your senses together yet bounded in a way to see the various paradigms.
The interactions between and among the vibrations are as important as the word meanings and the whole equation.
You may see the words relating like a spear and a target, then a circling or something that encompasses and then finally something that shoots to a height and then grounds like an anchor. All directions and energies; not a blur of color that becomes murky but energy and color interacting and adjusting
Intention focuses you in on what you intend, what you want/desire or what the other intends, wants/desires.
Attention focuses you in on the tone, loudness, word choice, meaning and emotion as well as whether you and the other have the same meaning for words and/or actions – it pulls you into the present.
Perspective gets you into the figure/ground aspect of the interaction and allows for paradigm identification and paradigm shifting.
And perception has aspects of all of the other three. It allows for mindful understanding and mindful action.
It’s like looking at a situation, relationship, or problem from a 360 degree perspective, breadth as well as depth, multi-dimensionally.
So when you are thinking about a situation or a relationship start to use these words as guide posts to increase your mindfulness awareness of yourself and the other(s) involved and see if you don’t get some surprising answers about what may be going on in those situations. Pay attention to your internal guidance through your six senses to see if you can get a multidimensional picture and understanding of the situation or relationship.
You can use your intuitive sense, your observations, questioning skills, and willingness to listen and act in a mindful present moment way and this will have two effects: increase your personal degree of compassion and decrease your personalization of the information – personalization here meaning taking something personally with some sort of negative attachment rather than seeing the information more objectively or mindfully.
Paying attention to the quiet voice within and clarifying your intention – these will increase your understanding of your inner guidance and give you direction about what is your best right action.
It can also help you know when your best action is non-action, allowing or going with the flow. For some this is the most difficult “action” to take, but when it is connected to this inner knowing it feels active to be in a waiting, allowing space.
Also check out seeing in 3-D, 3.3.10 Being mindful opens the door to seeing in multiple dimensions and distinguishing different currents of information simultaneously, which creates a space to understand each separately and see how each affect the other.
Thank you for your continued interest and support. Gentle, kind, and warm blessings to you in your life and your endeavors. Beth
Hello and Welcome! Mindfulness helps to discern how things are similar, relate, and where things agree. Currently there is a high degree of conflict in the world environment. Much of the discussion in politics and in the media is focused on how many ways to disconnect from each other – pitting groups against each other. Mindfulness is the best response to conflict because it shifts your perspective
Focus on disconnection reinforces separation and dissonance, and this leads to hostility. It is the wedge that allows for groups to dehumanize other groups due to their differences resulting in opportunities for increased strife and conflict. This behavior is the basis of bullying and victimization under the guise of power issues in children and adolescence; it is modeled in the way in which our political “leaders” and our various leadership communities relate to one another.
This is not the way for humans to increase their understanding of how we are all one; if your goal is harmony and collaboration, inclusion and acceptance, the way through to that is by seeking understanding, seeking common connections, and seeing the other as yourself. Our best political examples of change through non-violence and non-in-group out-group behavior are M. Gandhi and M. L. King.
In listening to politicians you can get a sense of righteousness and superiority. These lead to increased separation and a lack of unification. In order for us to treat each other as one we each must work within ourselves to eradicate this tendency for in-group out-group behavior.
This is the way through to an evolution of consciousness. It isn’t going to happen through force or superiority or though legislation of fairness. Unification happens when we see we are one and act from that inner knowing. Thus the concept of being the change we wish to see in the world. Creating differences begets differences and competition, looking for similarities begets collaboration.
What I have found is that many spiritual traditions stand on interestingly similar pillars. Using the connections or similarities as passageways or doorways can assist you to increase your understanding of groups that at first appear very different from you.
There is a thread of similarity present that is visible to those who are ready to see it.
You can see a figure-ground image once someone shows you the boundaries and perspectives of each picture like the two profile faces that face each other which create the interior picture of a vase.
I did a search in google for the three pillars of several world religions and this is what I got.
In viewing these general foundational concepts you can see the similarities among some of the world’s religions.
The three pillars of Judaism:
The Ethics of the Fathers, chapter one in the second Mishna, Simeon the righteous says that the world rests on three things: On Torah, on avodah (“service”, worship), and g’meelut chasadim–acts of loving kindness. Torah is the Jewish bible, Avodah is the concept of service and or worship, and g’meelut chasadim – represents acts of lovingkindness.
The Torah sets up what is moral – of note are the ten commandments handed down from God to Moses – so this is the basis of acting in a moral way; Avodah has to do with studying the Torah and then also practicing, acting within these moral ways – studying here includes the concept of thinking about, meditation on, and prayer for insightful understanding of the Torah; and acts of lovingkindness has to do with compassion, mindfulness and the silver rule – do not do unto others what you would not have done onto you .
Now view the concept of the Three Jewels of Buddhism:
The core of Buddhism is made up of the three pillars of the Buddha, the Dharma (his teachings) and the Sangha (monks and nuns). Simply explained, one could say that without the historical Buddha Shakyamuni there would have been no Buddhist Dharma, nor Sangha. Without his teachings, the Buddha would not have made much of a difference, and also the spiritual community would not have existed. Without the Sangha, the tradition would never have been transmitted through the ages. The Buddha would have been ‘just’ a historical figure and his teachings would have been ‘just’ books. general_symbols_buddhism.html#3j
The Buddha’s teachings are composed of three segments, Sila (morality),
Samadhi (mental concentration) and Panna (intuitive wisdom). Sila is the
foundation for Samadhi and Panna to build upon. Without the foundation of
morality the world would be in chaos and misery. The second pillar is Samadhi,
a mental state with no diffusion or dispersion. Panna is the third and final pillar of
the Buddha’s teachings. Understanding physical and mental phenomenon
correctly in its true nature is wisdom. The Buddhist’s goal is to attain intuitive
wisdom, also called awakened mind or enlightenment. ( Sattipatthana article, page 2)
The five precepts for the lay Buddhist are: refraining from killing,
stealing, sexual misconduct, lying and taking intoxicants. The Buddha does not
lay down these precepts as strict commandments, but as a framework to follow
for the welfare of oneself and others. Immorality will bring a chaotic, miserable
and disharmonious life. The choice is yours. Sila protects from all gross speech
and deeds that can takes one to the four woeful states (states of intense and
continuous misery). ( Sattipatthana article, page 2)
a decent person would not normally even think of hurting or harming another person, but under anger,
rage and wicked greed they can act out of character. People who observe Sila
need to be aware of whenever anger and wicked greed take control over you. At
that moment put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If you were that person
would you want to be hurt or harmed? The obvious answer is “no”. In the same
manner the other person would not like to be hurt or harmed. Such simple
reflection will stop you from doing hurtful and harmful deeds. You are embracing
others as if they are yourself, thereby becoming one with others.(Sattipatthana article, page2)
Samadhi (mental concentration, practice mindful meditation) Why do we meditate? We meditate to contribute happiness and peace to the world, but not to be admired, respected or to appear holy. When one first meditates collectiveness and concentration of mind is achieved, then clarity arises and purity and happiness follow. Purity of mind is the cause and happiness is the effect. With increased degree in purity of mind peace (calm, serene and quiet experience) arises. (Sattipatthana article, page 5)
Panna (intuitive wisdom) Intuitive wisdom can only be achieved through the practice of Insight (Vippassana) meditation. It is about knowing experientially that all physical and mental phenomenons are nothing but transient, dissatisfactory and insubstantial. (Sattipatthana article, page 6)
These two religions are talking about very similar concepts of morality or correct action for healthful interactions, practicing living in this way delineated by the specific text identified, and putting yourself in the position of the other to increase your understanding of him.
The three pillars of Christianity: miracles, prophecy, and moral precepts – golden rule, love and kind treatment of enemies. These precepts share in common with Judaism and Buddhism similar concepts of morality, service, and acts of lovingkindness – the golden rule being do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The moral precepts are based in the ten commandments as well as love the other as thy self.
The five pillars of Islam: profession of faith, ritual prayer, alms giving, fasting during Ramadan, pilgrimage to mecca – in researching these there is a connection to the moral precepts of the ten commandments as well as the importance of living a life that is undefiled as you see in the five precepts of Buddhism.
The pillars of Hinduism include the 4 pillars of righteous living, a code of ethics, ten virtues and the Vedas and scriptures.
These 4 pillars form the foundation of values that can be considered as “commandments”, if you will, for the Hindu way of righteous living: austerity, purity, compassion, truthfulness. ( sanatana Dharma aka Hinduism article page 4)
Ten virtues should be practiced by all men. The first five can be considered as
principles of self-restraint (yama): non-violence (ahimsā), truthfulness
(satya), celibacy in thought, word and deed (brahmacharya), non-stealing
(asteya), and non-covetousness (aparigṛaha). The other five virtues are religious observances (niyama): internal and external purity (shaucha), contentment (santosha), austerity (tapas), study of scriptures (svādhyāya)and surrender to the Lord (Īshvara-praṇidhāna). ( sanatana Dharma aka Hinduism article page 4)
1. Hindus believe in the existence of a supreme all-pervasive Being, who is
both immanent and transcendent, both Creator and Unmanifest Reality.
2. Hindus accept the Vedas as the absolute scriptural authority.
3. Hindus believe in a code of ethics based on 4 pillars of righteous living as
defined in Shrīmad Bhāgavatam: austerity (tapaḥ), purity (shaucham),
compassion (dayā), and truthfulness (satyam).
4. Hindus believe in a prescribed method of living, with regard to its
objectives, stages and milestones of life.
5. Hindus believe in specific tenets such as the law of cause and effect
(karma), the theory of reincarnation (punarjanma), and the incarnation of the
supreme Lord into the world (avatāra).
6. Hindus have prescribed methods of offering worship to the Lord. ( sanatana Dharma aka Hinduism article page 2)
These concepts are similar to those seen in the other religions described here.
Concepts of caring, living through a path of harmony with spirit and nature as well as information about morality and moral behavior to not treat others as you would not want to be treated and see in the other your divine self – these are all represented in each of these religions some of the hows to do it are different, but not by too much.
Allowing yourself to see in the other how similar he is to you creates an opportunity to uplevel your consciousness; to act in a way that is compassionate and balanced. This will create opportunities for our world to uplevel as a whole to a higher degree of vibration.
Love is the way.
Mindfulness, intuitive meditation, detached observation and virtuous action allow for love to be your guide in all your endeavors.
Namaste.
Beth
Important NOTE: This article was first published online by beth gineris on March 22, 2012, at OM magazine, community.omtimes.com under the title, Using Mindfulness offers Threads of Agreement to Build a Tapestry of Spiritual Harmony and Collaboration.
I wrote a blog funky to joyous, how to shift the energy, posted january 28, 2011, with great ideas about how to shift yourself out of a funky mood.
But what if that funky mood was itself the cue that there was an underlying problem but it’s too vague to figure out?
When things just don’t feel right it may be that you are out of sync or you have taken a wrong turn. Sometimes feeling off, or in a funky mood is just the cue to get you back on track if you use your mindfulness, observation skills, and pay attention.
Instinctive knowing is more of a bothering rather than a loud shout that there’s a problem.
A funky mood can be like a bothering, a nagging, sense that something is out-of-place. So you can view it as a cue that you need to go within, get centered and listen, or mindfully look at what is bothering you.
I find this is especially true when the funky mood seems out-of-place. You can follow the thread back to when you began the funky mood and see what happened just before your mood shifted into being funky. Often through this process you can use your observation and investigation skills to see the precursor to the funky mood, and that will give you information about the problem with which you are bothered.
The funky mood is your instinctive knowing informing you that something is awry.
This tends to be an insidious experience; in a subtle, pernicious fashion things begin to go awry and the funky mood develops in response to this shifting.
When you use you attention to look at the circumstances leading up to the shift in energy you can see the precise moment the shift occurred. It is often a word or statement from another or a set of interactions that are linked in some way to an attachment or expectation or agreement you hold about yourself, others in relationship with you, or a group.
First you use you attention to discern whence the funky mood originated, and then you use your intention to bring into light that which is bothering you. Once you can identify the problem then you can clarify and choose to respond to it with your whole self, in a mindful and centered way.
Our natural state is to be in balance, easily connecting and interacting with those in our environment who matter to us.
A funky mood could be a sign that you are out of balance. Using it as a cue you can engage your mindfulness and paradigm shifting skills to center yourself into your life and respond from within that center and feel a return to balance.
When the issue is an attachment then the shift may be to unlink the should of how things should be. This is to say you have to evaluate if you have an attachment about emotion and action or an unexpressed linking of your behavior to another’s behavior in response. ie: I make everything ok and you owe me.
When the issue is an expectation then the shift may be to clarify, re-evaluate, and re-negotiate the arrangement that corresponds to the expectation. Sometimes expectations are unacknowledged and there isn’t agreement among parties. In this situation the resolution may be to create a space so that the expectation is identified and shared with all parties involved. Sometimes the expectation is inappropriate and the shift is to let it go.
Expectations are often unexpressed agreements that are part of one parties’ belief system (or habit reaction pattern), but not part of another parties’ belief system. This leads to resentment, conflicts, and funky moods.
When the issue is an agreement it is important to bring to light whatever aspects of the agreement that has either 1/ not been fully identified and expressed or 2/when the aspects of the agreement have changed. You see this a lot with partnerships or love relationships ie: with monogamy or loyalties – if the parties have different belief systems or when feelings have changed, what one party thinks is an agreement may not be held by the other party.
Agreements, expectations, and attachments are a normal part of relationship however they are dynamic. This ever-changing aspect is the source of much conflict, discomfort, and miscommunication.
I have found that both expectations and attachments tend to result in dissonance and an imbalance moving people out of their center. This is especially true when they are unexpressed or unidentified until they go unmet.
It is wise to make an effort to evaluate these in your relationships on an ongoing basis.
You funky mood can be seen as an early warning system.
Paying attention to it allows you to adjust your focus and use your mindfulness to increase your alignment of your agreements, expectations, and attachments with your centered, balanced true-self in your relationships and your interactions. You may find a cleaner, less funky relationship ensues, resulting in a more balanced present (available), happy, secure (confident), mood.
So I recently heard this song by Tim McGraw called Live like you were dying. It’s about making the changes you always meant to do because you feel the end coming. It’s very touching. He identifies doing things and being different emotionally and in relationship too –
….I went sky-diving and rocky mountain climbing… and I loved deeper, I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying; I was finally the husband that most the time I wasn’t, I became a friend a friend would like to have..and I finally read the good book and I took a good long hard look at what I would do if I could do it all again; ….I watched an eagle as it was flying…live like you were dying.
Several years ago my dear friend was diagnosed with colon cancer. She was amazing. Over the last few years of her life she made sure that what she could do, that she wanted to do, she did.
She focused on what was great about life and she focused on getting as much as possible out of life, from both a doing as well as experiencing (connecting and being) perspective. It was inspiring to witness and amazing to be close to her during this time.
She allowed her compassion and love of life to guide her in her endeavors yet she was mindful of taking care of all the responsibilities involved in dying – providing for other and making sure she resolved unresolved issues.
She lived as if everything she did mattered. But she was less uptight, and more relaxed about everything, too. It was as if she was savoring each moment and didn’t want to allow anger to steal any of those moments away from her.
She tolerated the vulnerability of being what her heart desired because she didn’t have to worry about what end would come; she felt the urgency of being her true self because her days were numbered.
It fits that when we see we are nearing the end, one of the first things to release is anger. Sure people are angry about dying but wasting precious living-time on feeling and being angry takes away the time available for en-joying what life actually offers.
I think it’s an important lesson on which to focus, getting as much out of life as possible; it seems like a good thing to focus on even when one doesn’t know their fate… to live like you were dying…. to really savor and be mindful of your actions, and your relationships.
Structure is important to teach but living is the most important thing that we take for granted. We focus on structure early in our parenting because we want to help our children to have that throughout their lives but I wonder if we do so at the neglect of teaching them about trusting their instincts about what brings them joy and their talents and seeing the beauty available in relationships.
To create a life that is full regardless of your days, both delayed gratification and structure as well as living in the moment are needed in balance.
When I lost my friend I felt I had really experienced a lot of life with her. That we had connected, and shared, and lived through things in a way that I could cherish and hold onto after she was gone.
Earlier in my life I had lost my beloved boyfriend in a car accident. It was unexpected and shocking. He too, had a way of getting the most out of life – for him experiencing life mattered more than the accumulation of things. He focused on connections and relationships, and experiences.
At the time, I was too figure focused and not enough ground – so when he died I really felt cheated and lost. It was difficult. But now I realize that our experiences together created a strong model for me to focus on connections and relationship and to let go of the unimportant injuries of everyday life; to see the whole of the person or experience and embrace what is good while releasing what doesn’t work.
His death profoundly changed my life. I always made sure that I tell the ones I loved how much I love them, every time I see them, so I won’t regret not saying it if something were to happen.
Now I am watching as my father struggles to live out the rest of his life with a diagnosis of end stage cancer. What strikes me is how it affects the people around him.
He, like the individuals identified above, seems to have let go of anger and is trying to both fight the cancer and focus on living experiences each day. He has lived a very experience and accomplishment filled life.
The people around him seem to have so much anger. They haven’t found their way to the importance of letting go of that anger, those left over resentments, and experiencing in the present moment what they have left. To connect and laugh and resolve the unresolved issues; to make peace with the fullness and wholeness of their relationship with him. To allow love, life, and peace to fill the time left. It’s difficult to witness and get caught in the occasional crossfire of anger.
Perhaps it’s because they haven’t lost someone they really cared about before – they don’t realize the finiteness of this time.
In reality all our time is finite. We each might find greater happiness if we could focus on our life as such, so that we could keep our focus more balanced.
Our lives are made up of our accomplishments, and they require an element of delayed gratification – waiting to do what you want while you are creating them.
But what also makes up our lives are experiences with people. Connections and shared experiences are the most amazing memories when those we love are gone. Sharing a sunset, a baseball game, a spiritual service, skiing, dinner, laughter, difficulties and joy.
These events build connections and are like threads through the tapestry of our lives. They provide color and content and a type of marker to keep us tethered while we move through our lives.
Balancing our focus on developing structure and doing and accomplishments with being and connecting and experiences is very important. It requires being present, knowing what matters, being flexible and firm, having compassion, understanding rights and responsibilities, seeing figure and ground, and being mindful.
How we integrate cognitions and emotions, and the ways in which we reveal them to ourselves and others, is the fabric of our lives.
InstinctiveHealthParenting4U 