This is a reblog of ..your internal MAAPS of relationship… Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power and Structure the security drivers that focus you in relationship and either create connection or limit how you can connect and partner. If you have this book in your library and have enjoyed it, found it useful, and want others to know about it – please go to amazon.com and write a lovely review for it – so that others can see how great it is. It turns out that your good reviews (4 and 5 stars) move the book up the ladder so that it will show up more quickly in searches and more people can get help from this comprehensive relationship resource book. Thank you friends! in love and light bg…and those followers who haven’t gotten the book yet, check out the link at the end of the article.
To have a powerful, positive, and mutually satisfying relationship you need to decipher the code to your map. Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (Gineris 2013)offers insight into how your create your inner map in relationship, what kind of relationship feels secure to you, and what drives that security.
Relationships are complex. We use a map to partner. This map is designed from these intersecting coordinates
Your temperament,
Your social group connections,
The prevailing Cultural beliefs of Your location in time,
And, your security drivers from your psychosocial childhood development: What I call MAAPS
The key to navigating relationship is to discover what drives YOU to partner, what a good partner LOOKS like to your heart, mind, and body blueprint. And when…
Sound waves, ocean waves, and seismic waves are all called mechanical energy waves. These have the ability to move through matter. Vibration and sound have the power to heal.
Sound is a powerful healer.
Consider the effect certain songs have on you. The effect of a song is not only related to your psychological connection to it in the development of your life, but also to the tone and harmony of it, and how it relates to your internal energetic systems. Classical music and the Beatles have the ability to create a sense of balance, this is directly related to the healing power of sound.
All the senses have a healing effect. Sight, Taste, smells (scent), Touch and Sound are all powerful avenues to balance your physical body. Each of these senses offers an avenue to connect Spirit, Mind, and Body.
Taste: In Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine, specific flavors positively align your body based on which elements are out of balance. Bitter for Fire (Red): Heart/small Intestine channel (think discernment and a lack of joy or out of balance mania); Sweet for Earth (yellow-orange): Spleen/stomach channel disharmonies (think worry, pensiveness, depression); Pungent or Bland for Metal (white): Lung/large Intestine disharmonies ( think OCD, grief, lack of breath, difficulty with holding on or letting go; difficulty in choosing due to not knowing authentic self); Salty for Water (black): kidney/Bladder disharmonies ( think fear, phobias, stuck due to inability to choose best action due to fear, staying in harmful situation, deep insecurity due to life/death trauma); Sour for Wood (green): liver/gall bladder disharmonies (think anger, shame, rage, inability to forgive, hyper-vigilance). These tastes help to bring into balance the interactive five element systems. You can find more here: http://www.yogitimes.com/article/five-chinese-elements-cleanse-release-clarify/
Sight/Color: There are many ways you can use color to help in healing. You may use colors in reference to food, as above. There are specific mantras and chakra connections for specific colors. See more here: https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2013/06/22/life-lessons-in-relationships-energy-and-color/ . Additionally focus on positive images, make an effort to dismiss and release negative images. There are studies that show that humans (and other highly developed mammals, elephants, dogs, dolphins and whales, and chimpanzees, gorillas, and monkeys) have mirror neurons. These mirror neurons are in our brains and affect how we choose to be in the world; what we see affects our perceptions at an integral level. So the more you can see positive, interactive, high level consciousness behavior the more you will actualize this kind of civilization. More about this in future posts.
Smell/scent is a powerful healing tool as well. Consider that the most powerful sense is smell for memory and recognition. Partners often find the scent of their partner to be the most appealing aspect of their connection. Babies know their mother by her scent. The brain connection for your olfactory sense is directly connected to your limbic system which underscores the visceral aspect of this sense. I use Do-terra oils in my practice to cleanse and release unwanted or unneeded negative beliefs held in the auric field. Here are a few suggestions: https://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2010/03/11/energy-breath-and-balance/ .
Touch/the feeling sensation has been studied for many years. Healing touch is one of the most powerful healing tools. This is related to both the psychological experience of not being alone and the desire for humans to feel connected, (one of the primary softwire drivers in the human brain system, as supported by the importance of mirror neurons and how they drive the development of empathy), and to the physical system of your muscles. Along your skin and within the muscle is a set of nerves they are constantly informing your brain about situations as safe or not and what is happening to the body, so that your brain can take an action. These systems fire when there is discomfort or an injury. They turn off or return to a lower setting when the area that is firing is touched…consider the immediate tendency to touch your finger (knee, hip. shoulder etc) when you bump or hit it. Or how this action calms a child when s/he is injured…indeed that is a perfect example of the healing power of touch. Resetting a system that has ben firing for years is the work involved in the treatment of myofacial trigger points, fibromyalgia and post traumatic stress disorder. Massage, acupuncture, and Reiki all utilize methods to reset the body through touch.
So let’s talk about sound. Sound is a powerful healing tool.
If sound waves are mechanical energy waves that can move through matter, then it clarifies how sound can clear out and heal blockages in your chakras, your physical body, and your emotional and auric fields.
Sound in conjunction with color, scents, and mindful meditation to clarify your thinking work together very efficiently. I have found that the longer a block has been manifesting in your body the more difficult it is to release it. Children respond very quickly to resetting through sound and smell. When you combine tools you have a more efficient and less drastic release, almost as if the negativity simply peels off and is transformed.
There are specific sounds for each chakra:
c,d,e,f,g,a,b are the notes for the seven chakras typically identified. The toning bowls that sound at each of these notes can assist in healing these specific chakras.
In addition, my Kototama teacher, dr. Jeffrey Meyer, taught me that chanting the vowels: eh, ee, ah, O, oo in a repeated fashion with one breath can align the various chakras through aligning the five elements in your visceral and etheric system.
You can listen to a small scale of this chanting here: Healing Sound.
When you are feeling out of balance you can use this technique to center yourself and align your physical and spiritual self. You may notice certain sounds are easier, stronger, or more difficult this gives you an idea of where you may be out of balance. As you develop an understanding of the connection between the sounds and the elements, you may utilize this connection and sound to heal yourself.
Even without this level of awareness you can feel yourself strengthening and balancing by repeating the sequence with your breath until you feel the shift and rebalancing. Listen again to the above link, you may notice the difference in strength and alignment from the first to the third toning in the above audio link.
There are crystal bowls for c#, d#, f#, g# and b#.
There is evidence that new energy centers are developing within our chakra system that correspond with these sharp notes. These can assist you in developing your capacity for breath, the diaphragm chakra (d#) or in opening the thymus or higher heart chakra (f#) which can assist with increased immunity, as well as the Zeal point or Mouth of God chakra at the base of the occiput,( g#), which assists with compassion and telepathy, a deeper connection with spirit and the universe. I have not investigated the evidence about the relationships between these centers and astrology, but this figure offers a sense of the new chakra configuration and sounds. I have been using the e, f#, and g# in my practice and find these sounds to be profoundly healing.
Here is a link to all the newly developing chakras and sounds, crystal singing bowls.
As you are developing your understanding of these bowls, chakras and sounds, you may also want to address blockages in your thinking or beliefs.
Work with the first set of chakras first, root, sacral, and solar plexus as these will help to keep you grounded as you move into higher energetic realms. You can use color to amplify the strength of these chakras. Meditation on the chakra will enhance your clarity about what you need and how well balanced you are.
You may want to work with these blockages by simply using cognitive inversions, reframing the difficulties into gifts and aligning with the power of gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness.
Acupuncture, energy work, therapy, journaling, yoga and breathwork are all helpful in realigning with your true power and integrated self.
Yoga is an excellent source of support, because it utilizes breath attention, and intention in an integrated way to align your spirit, mind and body. Through Yoga you are increasing the amount of light you are pulling into your energetic system. It helps to lengthen your spine so that you can actually hold more light.
Recognize that you have the power to heal within in you simply through accessing your internal sensory guidance system. You are a sensory, spirit being. Develop and exercise your muscle of attention and intention this will strengthen your intuition and you access to health immediately.
Breath, toning and sound, clarification of your intent, all, will create an opportunity for you to elevate your consciousness. Embrace the power to heal within yourself and clear the path to a new level of consciousness in thought and action. in love and light, bg
dr beth gineris, dr laura wolf, (of Wolf Acupuncture), and chris wolf will be together at Mama’s Minerals in Albuquerque, NM to demonstrate and offer Sound Healing in real time come out and join us for an amazing day of Healing, Saturday May 10, 2014, 10-3 Mama’s Minerals Alternative Fair Info. We have developed an ibook download that you can use at your convenience and we will be demonstrating its power there. Discover the amazing power you have within to heal yourself, in love and light, bg
In Sociology there is a term that is used to discuss the problem with social change policies, unintended consequences.
There has been a longstanding debate in the field of Sociology, regarding what to do with the information gathered through observation, even participant-observation, by sociologists. Should sociologists use the information to create social policy, social changeORshould sociologists remain observers and educators about what they learn so that humans can be more fully educated and then free to make the best choice for themselves in small groups and individually. Currently we are in a time-continuum where the social change aspect of sociology is winning that debate.
Bias is the biggest problem in the practice of sociology. Since bias is imbedded into each sociologist’s consciousness through her upbringing and social group connections it becomes difficult to see personal bias. Therefore, sociologists are at risk for introducing bias into the equation of truth without consciously knowing it. The process of paradigm shifting, critical thinking and mindfulness greatly assists sociologists in recognizing their bias, but it is a constant challenge.
In science the practice of the double-blind study is meant to resolve these issues. However, for sociologists the type of study is observation and cataloguing, even in participant-observation an investigator ‘joins’ the group, simply to observe. You can think of this as an undercover officer without any intention of actually stopping tragedies that are observed. This is how the original focus was on identifying and reporting observations; you can think of this like the Prime Directive of no interference in Star Trek. Education was the way to create change rather than directly participating in social ‘justice’ change policy. Recognizing that society is dynamic, living the sociologist observes but avoids interfering with the process due to the risk of unintended consequences…what western biological medicine might call bad side effects of specific pharmaceuticals.
Let’s look at a few changes that have come through this action of social change policy.
Unintended consequences of No-fault divorce.
Prior to 1985, in order to get divorced fault had to be proved by one of the married parties. The thinking in the eighties was that this resulted in high incidence of suicide by wives and high incidence of domestic violence against women. So the passage of no-fault divorce was thought to assist women to feel more free and empowered. Unfortunately, it resulted in the ‘feminization of poverty’ and more children living in poverty.
From Wikipedia: A paper published in The Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy, written by Douglas Allen, on the economics of same-sex marriage, argues that the introduction of no-fault divorce led to a six-fold increase in just two years after a century of rather stable divorce rates. Also, the law increased the rate at which women entered the workforce, increased the number of hours worked in a week, increased the feminization of poverty, and increased the age at which people married. ( Allen, Douglas (June 22, 2006). “An economic assessment of same-sex marriage laws.”. Harvard Journal of Law & Public Policy29.)
A more useful action would be to educate children about choosing partners, the MAAPS concept developed by Gineris, 2013, and being mindful in marriage choices. The debate to allow same-sex couples to marry has missed out on this aspect of importance in creating positive, powerful partnerships regardless of gender combination.
The ACA has already led to unintended consequences.
The focus by the ACA was on creating more insurance. Coming from a perspective within the healthcare system as a provider and a receiver it is noticeable already that, unfortunately, at least so far ACA has resulted in less access to healthcare. In the last six months the number of individuals covered with insurance has dropped, due to actions resulting from the ACA. Few individuals were able to get coverage who were not previously covered in 2008. The intended outcome target has been missed and the trend is downward. (For those individuals reading this that tend toward cynicism, this may be a private intended consequence of those who put the ACA it into place because they are interested in a different form of insurance…however it is an unintended consequence from the historical statements of the intention to create a source for better access to healthcare at a lower price.)
A more powerful effect of sociological data about lifespan and lifestyle would have been to educate individuals on the benefits of caring for their physical vehicle, emotions and consciousness. Education on how to live healthfully to avoid the need for healthcare. This creates an opportunity for individuals to take ownership in creating their own health and managing their choice in this regard. Education increases understanding and therefore power to create personal change. This is the dynamic aspect of society. Change from within based on many individuals making similar choices due to knowledge and experience.
‘if you give a man a fish you feed him for a day, if you teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime….’
Day-care, having your child be raised by the community rather than your personal family social system has resulted in unintended consequences.
Parents have less say in the care of their children. Due to the nature of human beings learning about how to be in a community from their caregivers in early childhood, the influence of the parent has greatly reduced and the influence of the state has greatly increased. Parents chose daycare to increase their freedom to work – often a necessity, however they were unaware of the consequence of losing influence in the beliefs, personality, and behavior of their own children.
In addition the psychological makeup of the child raised in daycare is to be cared for by the a group or community, thus the seedling idea that the government owes a person certain positive rights.
A more effective use of the sociological knowledge of how children develop beliefs, their MAAPS for relationship, and values is to educate parents and children as they develop, about these concepts so that individuals can be more empowered and free to make these choices in parenting and care.
Making pot legal will result in unintended consequences.
This is controversial for me to say. I know. Many alternative healers feel that marijuana is positive. Often I hear my colleagues espousing its benefits. My experience both as a psychotherapist and as an energy field healer belies this. Pot mucks up the electromagnetic field so that the person over time is cut off from his or her direct sensory system connection to spirit. Yes some individuals may describe feeling more connected to spirit when they are under the influence of pot, but they have lost their direct connection through their electromagnetic field and have diminished their effectiveness of their sensory guidance system. The effects of this remains even after the person stops using marijuana and can only be healed through energetic clearing tf the person’s electromagnetic-field by an energy worker. So the unintended consequence is to diminish the person’s connection to spirit and to make the person dependent upon the drug to have the inspirational experience. Additionally, long-term, excessive use diminishes a person’s sense of innovation and will, resulting in a constant state of being slightly like a zombie.
Educationopenly about issues that underly pot use would be more fruitful than simply saying it is harmless, no more harmful than smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol. This would allow for each individual to make an evaluation from a more holistic perspective.
The hypocrisy of professors, like Bill Ayes, who makes over 100K a year and teaches anti-Americanism: “I pray every day that I can change America and get rid of Capitalism”…he isn’t off the grid he is living through Capitalism. He argues against financial inequality while actually creating it with his behavior. The challenge of being in a position of expert is to unintentionally miss out on the opportunity to actual teach the positive effects of thinking through a problem personally using mindfulness and critical thinking. Using the position of teacher or professor to speak the truthwithout teaching the importance of dialogue and critical thinking to continuing to evaluate the veracity of that truth, is wholly unethical and creates the unintended consequence of creating ignorance rather than increasing the skills for decision-making and upleveling consciousness.
A more useful application of the sociological information about power and community is to create a space wherein the participant can sort through the answer though mindfulness and critical thinking. Educating students on how to think, how to use their brains to think through a problem, deduction rather than just come up with the answer the professor determines true, in a Sherlock Holmsian style of clarity and mindfulness would allow for continued consciousness elevation for the entire community of human beings, and ultimately the planet.
The Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 and the Child Abuse Act of 1974,2010 seem to have fared better than the above examples.
The Indian Child Welfare Act (1978) was originally set in place in response to several things, the high incidence of children leaving the reservations and being raised in non-Indian homes which led to a high incidence of depression and suicide as the children reached adolescence (far greater than those children adopted who were from non-indian families). This appeared to be a cultural issue as well as a psychosocial developmental issue. In addition, there was concern from the Native American community that the Native American culture was being decimated by the loss of their children to carry it onward.
There were problems in dealing with how a child was identified as Indian, in that various tribes had different percentages of Native blood or connection to a tribal roll as ways to identify a being as Native American. As time went on it also became an issue if the child had never been a part of the Native Community (1982) especially if the parents had not actually lived in the Native Community in their own upbringing. However, the intended consequences were met positively, due to this act the incidence of suicide by Native American children in early adolescence decreased dramatically, and far more Native American children were endowed with their cultural heritage.
The Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (1974, 2010) has had a positive effect on the increasing recognition and identification of child abuse by parents and communities, and the general understanding of the societal culture. There have been difficulties with managing the regulation of foster parents and managing how to respond to these kinds of problems with families either through criminal cases or education through various state agencies developed to protect children removed from unsafe homes.
These Mantras clarify how to proceed as a sociologist. Those who don’t study history tend to repeat it. Because there are cycles in the sociological development of human communities. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. This is based in the problem of a legislative, bureaucracy making decisions that require the fineness of individuality. An agency moves too slowly and cumbersomely to make adjustments that are personal and individualized. Regulation and individual freedom work against each other unless the regulation is set up to protect negative rights versus positive rights, ie: the basis of the US Constitution. And finally, the strongest ethical position for all sociologists: know your biases, act from a neutral non-biased perspective.
Counselors who are in the business of change are constantly working to maintain a watchful eye on their own biases in how they assist their clients and patients to change.
Mindfulness, Compassionate understanding, Critical thinking by drilling down as well as expanding the knowledge of whatever you are attempting to resolve increases your opportunity create change that elevates the consciousness of the planet. As you take care in your own assumption about what is true, pay attention to an inner pressure to make another do what you feel is right. Stop, Look and Listen to yourself and the other person, stop acting… take a break, and go within to observe yourself and the underlying assumptions you hold, return to center.
And if you are being pressured against your own inner sense of knowing, that is free of bias but truly instinctive, then you can use your critical thinking and mindfulness to take the best action for your self. When pulled in to create policy, actually discern for yourself what you believe, pay attention to the dynamic aspect of society, listen thoroughly and investigate fully before you proceed with a proposal to avoid social policy change that results in unintended consequences. in love and light, bg
dr beth gineris is an integrative medicine practitioner in albuquerque, new mexico. she offers compassionate, mindful guidance to online coaching clients and clinic patients daily using her medical intuitive, clinical counseling, energetic rebalancing, and oriental medicine skills. a great class on MAAPS and how to have more positive and empowering relationships is happening in Albuquerque, NM at the center March 15, 2014. Reserve your place at http://www.bethgineris.com
Spiritual consciousness evolution happens through transcending and connecting to the place where spirit and human are best, not one better than the other. bg
The fastest way to align with the best parts of yourself and perceive the oneness of all humankind is through the ego.
The ego is the mindful aspect of your self. In fact, if you want to get to no-ego you want to fully embrace ego, and then you will observe no-ego within you as you elevate your consciousness to oneness with all. (Gineris, turning me to we:the art of partnering with mindfulness, 2013)
This is not unlike the very power of breath in yoga to dissolve the blocks of energy within your muscles. Embracing the blockage, and breathing with and through it transforms the energy.
The concept of ego in psychological theory is the role of mediator and rebalancer in the tripartite aspect of the human mind developed by Freud.
The ego’s job is to mediate between the primitive needs and wants, the id, of an individual and the introjected societal shoulds and should nots inculcated from your parents, the superego. (Freud, the ego and the id, 1923)
The ego has gotten a bad rap from alternative healers indicating that it is power and control based. I suspect this has to do with the Buddhist concept of living free of inner desires. There is no need for a mediating aspect of mind if you are not in such an inner battle between self and society.
Another confusing piece of the puzzle is the term egoistic or egotistic, it references an inflated picture of self and selfish behavior. The root of these words is ego and so there is a tendency to attach selfish, power-hungry meaning to the word ego.
But this is the same mistake as calling someone who is hypomanic depressed. it is understanding the meaning of the prefix hypo, less or under, without understanding the meaning of the word. When an individual is hypomanic she is agitated frustrated, aggressive, but not in a full-blown manic state… so just under (hypo) mania. She is still hyper-aware and hyper-agitated.
Your ego is not selfish but rather holistic, attempting to discern ways to guide your actions and thinking toward caring for individual needs while living under the expectations of society.
The problem with an interpretation of ego as power-hungry is that it pulls you away from the part within you that is actually guiding you toward spirit.
Ego is that aspect of yourself that invites compassion, neutrality, lovingkindness, and the concept that we are all one to come into your mind.
Shift your relationship to the word ego by clarifying the underlying meaning.
Avoid acting in a selfish manner.
Use mindfulness, compassion, and lovingkindness in your decision-making.
Breathe
Embrace the perfection of spirit already within you, guiding you toward the most holistic and loving action that allows for the oneness of the universe to be represented.
Ego/no-ego, rebalance your internal picture so that you can increase your empathy and connect to the spirit within you that is connected to all. Then your needs and society needs (or group, or couple needs) clarify, become aligned, and your actions are empathetic, bounded, and resonant from an inner security.in love and light, bg
dr beth gineris is an integrative medicine practitioner in albuquerque, new mexico. she offers compassionate, mindful guidance to online coaching clients and clinic patients daily using her medical intuitive, clinical counseling, energetic rebalancing, and oriental medicine skills. you can find her at http://www.bethgineris.com
Das, Lama Surya.Buddha Is as Buddha Does: The Ten Original Practices for Enlightened Living. HarperCollins, 2007. Freud, Sigmund.The Ego and The Id. w.w. Norton & co.,1923. Gineris, Beth. Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness. Createspace, 2013, p186-190.
I came to the field of alternative medicine and healing through a long process of personal discovery and acceptance. Along the way I managed to accumulate a few graduate degrees and many certifications in various energetic medicine treatments. I started out with the desire to be an orthopedic surgeon. I became an energetic healer, integrative medicine practitioner, and a devourer of all kinds of philosophy and spiritual traditions.
My practice and understanding has evolved through a tripod of uncovering my self knowing (information that is true through my experience), education in other belief systems and knowings, and discerning mindfulness. As a result what I think and feel is trueor truth is based in the integration and transcendence of all three.
So when I make efforts to assist others in their thinking and to help them with healing, I come at this from a deeply humble place.
What I notice, however, is that many of my peers and a number of well placed individuals in the alternative world do not practice that humility. Indeed, I notice they display a surprising degree of arrogance and narcissism.
There is an overall intolerance, irritable impatience, and lack of empathetic compassion, in their rhetoric. Not only do they use the same demeaning, put down tactics that have been applied to them, toward those they identify as less evolved, in addition they have a palpable disdain for them.
This attitude is also applied to those whom they are trying to assist in their consciousness elevation.
Perhaps it comes from a deep inner knowing that they are right in their beliefs. But after my own experience with this sort of struggle and enlightenment path, through which I became more deeply aware that right/wrong destroys the chance for integrated knowing, it feels more like a power trip then a guide for consciousness evolution.
I see the narcissism and arrogance in negative comments about people in social media. The judgment of others and their beliefs. Recently, I read a blog from a well-known alternative medicine guide, who was using a dialogue with her equally talented friend to discuss the level of banality of those seeking help. Perhaps she was trying to lightly chide her queriers to look deeper, but her style of dialogue with her identified enlightened friend sounded more like two gals in a clique making fun of people. Her premise of clarifying the root of the problem was completely enlightening, but her style of interacting about the issue was distanced, un-empathic, and slightly arrogant. Perhaps what was off-putting was the two talking about people, joking, laughing, when describing the ways people get off course. In fairness, she may have thought her presentation was joining the ranks and laughing with the people, but it came across as laughing at them, with her underlying tone dismissive and superior.
I was stunned, as she had often been a being that I felt wrote of embracing healing and health with compassion and care. In consideration on her part, it may be that she was feeling frustrated about not being able to get people to understand the importance of her message and so was simply reacting.
I have a lot of training, a lot of education. I have been in the trenches of helping people change for over twenty years. At times I can really see through a lot of what people are doing when they ask for help…but I never think it is my place to think they are wrong…choices, habits, ways of being… these are deeply ingrained. They are developed over time to make sense of nonsensical worlds and experiences.
Healing through these takes deep love and compassion toward yourself and when you have a guide who is disrespectful or superior it actually causes you to hold tighter to those habits, because in a deep place within yourself you recognize the person isn’t safe.
Looking within, facing the choices you made to survive, unearthing the beliefs you swallowed whole from your cultural and family systems requires courage, compassion and trust. It takes time to see within yourself, to understand what it is that you are doing that hurts yourself and what it is that you would rather do for yourself. The fastest way to impede real healthy change is to make fun of someone’s inability to see what is necessary. Actually threatening or making fun of someone only makes that person feel worse, and so cling to the exact thing that they need to release.
My experience is that being a healer isn’t being the know it all, superior, king of the world…it’s much more like being a caring talk show hostess, gently encouraging your audience to look inside, gently release that which doesn’t serve, and encouraging love and acceptance, embracing your true self.
This role of healer/guide is difficult. It is mostly thankless. You are mostly invisible and unimportant in the process. The recognition of your care and skill comes often in retrospect or mostly once you are gone. So for individuals who want to be recognized for their power, intelligence, or sheer genius…those who want to be called healers… it is problematic.
I believe this is what drives the narcissism and arrogance in alternative healers. They are of two minds, unintegrated. On one hand they see the empowerment of being soulful, spirit-filled, but on the other hand they have not dealt with their inner needs for power or their reactive level of superiority. They come by it honestly. Constantly having to go against the grain of the society, to prove to a society that requires proof from a right/wrong perspective that living in the light, in spirit, is valuable sets up this inner split. So that on one hand a person is able to live in the light but on the other hand to express it pulls the person back into the shadow.
I understand this. Yet, it is something that I want to kindly address because it is harmful. It is harmful to the identified healer and those they are intending to help.
These individuals who are presenting themselves as more highly evolved are actually acting without mindfulness, without compassion, not from a no ego state of harmony, but rather from an egotistical state of superiority and arrogance, “I know better”.
This type of superiority and intolerance seems outside of the very thing they are teaching.
It can be human nature to defend against attack by treating another as you feel he has treated you. But it isn’t evolved spiritual consciousness.
The evolution of consciousness requires that the response of the evolved person be compassionate, show lovingkindness, treat the other AS she would like to be treated (not as she was treated in the shadow, unintegated degree of consciousness).
This is what the Buddha references about releasing ego – no ego. This is what is attributed to Christ to love, to see the beauty in another and forgive even when he or she harms you. This is what is part of the ten commandments and the golden or silver rule – to do unto others what you would have done unto you (or not do unto others what you would not have done unto you).
As you endeavor to heal yourself and evolve your consciousness, listen to the understory as well as the over story in the guidance you receive. Listen to yourself, too. Pay attention to your inner sensory guidance, the quiet inner voice that helps you to discern whether you are moving toward integration and wholeness.
You may disregard guidance that is coming from a sense of superiority or disrespect, or you may choose to listen to the kernel of the guidance and disregard the put down.
And if you are an alternative healer, listen to your own understory. Pay attention to that which drives your desire to help. Clarify your shadow and allow yourself to be fully integrated. The more neutral you feel, the more love you feel, the more you allow others to be in their own space free, the more likely you are integrating your shadow and your spirit.
Spiritual consciousness evolution happens through transcending and connecting to the place where spirit and human are best, not one better than the other.
The easiest way to find that is through meditation, breath, forgiveness, lovingkindness, mindfulness, and acceptance. in love and light, bg
I have been using crystal toning bowls in my practice recently, to shift negative energies out of the various chakras and to accelerate the opening of new chakra centers.
There are specific sounds for each chakra:
c,d,e,f,g,a,b are the notes for the seven chakras typically identified. The toning bowls that sound at each of these notes can assist in healing these specific chakras.
In addition, my teacher dr. Jeffrey Meyer taught me that chanting the vowels: eh, ee, ah, O, oo in a repeated fashion with one breath can align the various chakras through aligning the five elements in your visceral and etheric system.
The sound is like this:
When you are feeling out of balance you can use this technique to center yourself and align your physical and spiritual self. You may notice certain sounds are easier, stronger, or more difficult this gives you an idea of where you may be out of balance. As you develop an understanding of the connection between the sounds and the elements, you may utilize this connection and sound to heal yourself.
Even without this level of awareness you can feel yourself strengthening and balancing by repeating the sequence with your breath until you feel the shift and rebalancing. Listen again to the above link, you may notice the difference in strength and alignment from the first to the third toning in the above audio link.
There are crystal bowls for c#, d#, f#, g# and b#.
There is evidence that new energy centers are developing within our chakra system that correspond with these sharp notes. These can assist you in developing your capacity for breath, the diaphragm chakra (d#) or in opening the thymus or higher heart chakra (f#) which can assist with increased immunity, as well as the Zeal point or Mouth of God chakra at the base of the occiput,( g#), which assists with compassion and telepathy, a deeper connection with spirit and the universe. I have not investigated the evidence about the relationships between these centers and astrology, but this figure offers a sense of the new chakra configuration and sounds. I have been using the e, f#, and g# in my practice and find these sounds to be profoundly healing.
Here is a link to all the newly developing chakras and sounds, crystal singing bowls.
As you are developing your understanding of these bowls, chakras and sounds, you may also want to address blockages in your thinking or beliefs.
Work with the first set of chakras first, root, sacral, and solar plexus as these will help to keep you grounded as you move into higher energetic realms. You can use color to amplify the strength of these chakras. Meditation on the chakra will enhance your clarity about what you need and how well balanced you are.
You may want to work with these blockages by simply using cognitive inversions, reframing the difficulties into gifts and aligning with the power of gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness.
Acupuncture, energy work, therapy, journaling, and breathwork are all helpful in realigning with your true power and integrated self.
Yoga is an excellent source of support, to help you balance your integrated spirit, mind, body fields as you are increasing the amount of light you are pulling into your energetic system. It helps to lengthen your spine so that you can actually hold more light.
Sound is a powerful healer.
Consider the effect certain songs have on you. The effect of a song is not only related to your psychological connection to it in the development of your life, but also to the tone and harmony of it, and how it relates to your internal energetic systems. Classical music and the Beatles have the ability to create a sense of balance, this is directly related to the healing power of sound.
This is the meditative and balancing power of chanting and toning.
Have fun with this.
Discover what sounds are healing to you. These may change over time and as a result of various circumstances.
Recognize that you have the power to heal within in you simply through toning and sound. Embrace the power to heal within yourself and clear the path to a new level of consciousness in thought and action. in love and light, bg
Imagine golden light coming in the top of your head and moving down along the interior of your body along your spine with your in-breath.
As you exhale imagine negative energy, stress, fears, or obstacles moving out your feet.
If you like you can think of how the sun feels on your back to get an image of warmth moving through you.
Breathe in so that your tummy gets big and breathe out so that your tummy gets smaller. Breathe in for a count of 3 and out for a count of 5 (after a while you may want to breathe in for a count of 5 and out for 7 or even long but always have your out-breath be longer by two counts).
You can have you child teach a favorite stuffy to help learn the routine.
In medicine the best strategy to habituate yourself to a procedure issee 1, do 1, teach 1. So use that strategy here to help inculcate for your child the meditation process.
After 10 to 20 breaths have a strong exhalation and open your eyes; you will feel refreshed. You can lengthen the time you breathe to 3 – 5 minutes.
Encourage your child to practice in the morning and the evening.
3-5 minutes for younger children is an excellent practice. As your child becomes more practiced you can increase to 15 minutes twice a day. Long time meditators may meditate for 30 or more minutes. Let your experience define what is best for you and your child.
Encourage your child to use this technique when faced with a stressful event. After practice it will become a natural instinctive method in response to feeling out of balance, feeling fearful or stressed.
You can do this too and it will reinforce your child’s practice.
Enjoy! in love and light, bg
On April 5, 2014, I will be teaching a course on the use of mindfulness to treat anxiety for coaches, teachers and parents, at the Center for Instinctive Health Medicine…. Mindfulness techniques to reduce anxiety & stress, in children, excellent for counselor, caregivers, coaches, and teachers tuition $120, April 5, 2014, 9-3, 6 hours of ceu for counselor and therapists— includes applications for children and adolescents for parent/teacher training. [this class can be purchased for training in classroom or counselor site training – modified to fit your needs – contact dr. gineris by email]….. These techniques are great for counselors and I offer CEUs for nm licensed counselors, you can sign up through my website, www.bethgineris.com.
dr beth gineris is the author of Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness (2011) and Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (2013). She endeavors to assist individuals in the process of upleveling their consciousness in everyday interactions to experience profound love, connection and care in their relationships and communities. You can find her books on amazon.com and through her website.
My friend, Georgia, said to me recently, that I have an angel’s view from 30 thousand feet… I can see how others get in their own way, the blocks in their electromagnetic field, their conflicting, problematic, limiting attitudes & beliefs, AND how these are creating boulders in their path..
From her perspective I can see this and this can at times make others not like me
…others see this in you, they know that you can see.
This recognition by another, when she (or he) is not ready to commit results in a bifurcated response, on one hand she sees I can help and presents herself for a healing, like asking me questions about what she should do in her life about some thing, sometimes a person may actually show up in my office for a session….the bifurcation happens when the person wants release or a clearing passively. She wants me to do the work of healing her without any commitment to the healing personally.
In order to get the healing you have to actually choose and do the healing work… That is the catch, it isn’t passive on your part.
And so, when I don’t say what a person wants to hear, or when I focus on how (he or) she has power in a situation and what actions (he or) she must take in order to create the space for a healing, and the person just wants to be healed without any personal shift, this can result in negative energy toward me.
….Which is how our conversation started, I was lamenting about the process and how unpleasant it is for me.
…But it isn’t enough for them to present themselves to me for a healing… ‘just because you can see from an angel’s view doesn’t mean you can help like and angel’….
Crash!That brought me right down to earth.
Her point being that while I may feel compelled to help everyone who crosses my path and I am at the ready to create these miracles, I am still only allowed to wield that healing power when the other person is fully committed to the shift into her (his) new self.
….you have the skills and capacity to transform and clear other’s fields, but there has to be a conscious willingness,a direct agreement and intention from the spirit/human needing transformation for you to do it…
As much as I feel compelled to heal others because I can, doing so requires an integrated conscious agreement for healing and an active readiness that is transmitted through actions, statements, and higher level karmic release.
You have to step fully into your elevated self. Which means you have to integrate your consciousness and your commitment to healing.
Integrated conscious agreement, the action of not only saying I need help but also holding the intention and willingness to receive the shift and embrace the necessary release of unhealthy attitudes, actions, beliefs, and mis-knowings.
This is the release of the karmic emotional cords that are within your DNA.
I interpret this to be the way in which karmic cords may be in your DNA.
So that as you develop your chakra wheels and open to the development of higher level chakra spheres you open yourself to the knowledge of these karmic cords and open yourself to healing, releasing and clearing them.
This requires integrated spirit/matter (human) consciousness knowing and recognition.
You can choose to heal, clear your karmic cords and elevate your spiritual, emotional and physical being.
Until then I will continue to deflect the negativity as it flies by me, and I will hold the view from thirty thousand feet. I see you and I send you love and light, bg
A friend requested elucidation of how the Me-style works if you are the one who gives yourself away by not holding or setting boundaries, especially when you are in partnership with a person who tends toward narcissism.
The me style is the concept ‘two halves make a whole’ perspective. If in your situation you are the one who can’t say no, you have difficulty setting the boundary. If you are partnered with a narcissist, your partner has no capacity for empathy, no ability to actually see your point of view. In psychological terms a person who is narcissistic is not specifically selfish – you can be selfish and not be narcissistic. To be diagnosed as a narcissist you have to lack empathy. The other diagnosis that has no capacity for empathy is a sociopath. What the two have in common is this lack of empathy.
Typically people who are caught in relationships with either sociopaths or narcissists have poor boundaries and lack self esteem (undeveloped inner security) and so don’t say no. They lose their sense of me, giving it away to their partner in hopes to feel/be loved.
The question where is the me is an apt one. The set of parameters for the me-style is dependency, diffuse or no boundary, lacks empathy, inner insecurity. Remember it’s a style of partnering – so the driving focus is the driving me-need (for the giver away of self – the me-need that is driving is a need to be loved by an other – so although it looks like there is no me on her/his part, s/he is being driven by an insecurity me-need).
YOU can strengthen yourself by developing a healthy set of boundaries (defining and living through a set of boundaries of what is reasonable to give and take in relationship) and a healthy style of saying no ( identifying when you feel taken for granted by developing your awareness of your senses) as well as developing your inner security (discovering what you want and not accepting less than that- this includes recognizing your strengths and your limitations, and how these play into what you want in relationship).
Setting up these boundaries, increasing your sense of inner security, and developing compassion for yourself and your partner will get you ready for an independent, I-style relationship.
You may either grow together into a clearer more bounded relationship OR you may release each other to develop the next style of relating: Two circles 00 walking side-by-side independently with firm, clear boundaries. In this, the I-style, you may have to deal with stiffer boundaries as you develop your capacity to say no. You may even find you are less flexible because you are defining those lines that you do not want crossed.
Once you feel comfortable in that kind of relationship you can develop flexibility with your boundaries and your paradigm recognition, shifting, and integration…. Thus allowing you to easily Move Into interdependence, through focus on connection and collaboration where both parties matter and a we-style of relationship.
Development through the different styles is a process. Once you know where you are in the series of Me, dependent (co-dependent, driven by a set of inner insecurities), diffuse boundaries; I, independent (rigid boundaries, unable to say yes, due to a fear of losing self); We, interdependent, flexible boundaries focused on what you want rather than what you fear; then you can use that knowledge to develop qualities of empathy, boundaries, and inner security to get unstuck and achieve a more mutually satisfying relationship.
You can find out more in Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, (Gineris 2011); Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness, (Gineris 2013).
and discover where you are in the MAAPS section. This will help you to manage your insecurities and understand how and why you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure). in love and light, bg
Because if your partner really paid attention then he or she would know what you want in the relationship.
Using your full capacity to listen, and pay attention results in the other person feeling seen, loved and understood. This article is about mind-reading 101.
Mind reading…. 101. It’s really about being mindful and observant, like a mentalist, which will look and feel like you have esp. When you pay attention with all your senses and mindfulness you can really understand your partner. And, when you feel heard by someone else you feel real and loved.
Kahlil Gibran references this in his poem book, The Prophet (1923, 1978, 1984). Which is an oft-quoted book at marriage ceremonies.
Thich Nhat Hanh’s Mindfulness book, Peace Is Every Step (1991, Bantam Books, New York), offers insight:
“Darling do I understand you enough? Or am I making you suffer?Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly…..” Real Love, pg 80.
“Love is a mind that brings peace, joy,and happiness to another person. ….The essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves ‘inside the skin’ of the other. We ‘go inside’ their body, feelings, and mental formations, and witness for ourselves their suffering. Shallow observation as an outsider is not enough to see their suffering. …When we are in contact with another’s suffering, a feeling of compassion is born in us. Compassion means, literally, ‘to suffer with’.
…” Meditation on Compassion, pg 81, 82.
To develop this quality in yourself, follow these 6 easy steps.
Know yourself. Develop your understanding of your wants, your strengths, and limitations. Once you know where you are you can allow yourself to feel trust and then open to your partner’s needs, wants, and perspectives. Knowing yourself allows you to connect with other’s and see not only your own perspective but that of another.
Open your heart. From an open heart you can hear through defensiveness. From an open heart you are able to practice compassion and loving paradigm shifting. Think duck, bunny paradigm shifting – both are real/true/accurate, just different perspectives of the same image:
Reset your senses to neutral. This is the idea of choosing to connect rather than be right. Choosing to remove fight from your vocabulary in order to focus on deflecting negative or attacking energy and going underneath that to the injury or suffering or pain of the other and seeking to create/find understanding and connection.
Observe another’s face, voice/tenor, and gestures. Stop, look, and listen. Make the connection through observation and clarification. Pay attention, notice incongruence and seek a way through to a deep understanding and knowing of your partner.
Use yourself as a reflection of your partner. Feel into your own body as a reflection of the other’s heart rate, anxiety, breathing, tension, peace; listen to your inner voice – for something off, something strong, something intuitive.
Speak your feelings and thoughts, use clarification and inquiry from a balanced loving neutral place – not defensive. Reflect what you see as the incongruence. Deflect/deflate another’s anxious negativity, or look for clarification of how he or she got there… discover what was the preceding action that triggered the anxiety or angry response; feel into yourself and then inquire from your partner, to ascertain what you partner is looking to receive so that he or she feels seen, heard, connected and loved. Once you understand or get clarity on this information, give it lovingly and without condition.
Your capacity to read another’s mind is directly related to your personal self-knowing and your desire to connect, understand, and paradigm shift.
Meditation, Mindfulness, Removing fight from your vocabulary, and Developing you connection to your internal sensory guidance center are actions that improve your capacity to develop compassion, understanding, and care within you.
Living in this way will elevate your spiritual consciousness and result in deeper, more powerful, and mutually satisfying relationships in all aspects of your life. in love and light, bg
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