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Category Archives: Gestalt figure ground


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How to develop a practice of internal spirit-self-communication

Hello and welcome

I have the great honor of teaching.

I say it is an honor because I see teaching as a powerful responsibility that requires love, compassion, and care.  Yes of course I need to also know the material, but more than that I need to be able to present it in a way that touches the hearts and minds of those I teach.  This is more difficult than just presenting facts – it’s about presenting truth that can be incorporated into a world view and strengthen those who receive the information.

When you hear truth it has a quality of singing or ringing in key within your body, spirit and mind, all at once.  Giving you a feeling of deja vu almost, a feeling of immediate comprehension and knowing.

This is very different then being compelled toward something from propaganda.  Propaganda is seductive and alluring but it doesn’t ring true in your heart it has more of an emotional-visceral, reactive quality to it.  Propaganda is something that lulls you into a sense of righteousness or patterned behavior.  Advertising and politics are masters at using partial information or “spin”  to guide you to take action that may not be inline with your heart/spirit connection but feels right.  This feeling right is not the kind of truth that rings through to your heart/spirit.

Because of this peculiar experience of feeling right through propaganda it is important to be able to remove emotionality and righteousness from the conversation and work toward understanding, connecting and compassionate lovingkindness.

The art of seeing the world from a compassionate, neutral, and curious perspective encourages connecting with truth.  It increases the kind of seeing of truth that is not righteousness but open-minded, strengthening and graceful.

The best way to encourage this is the use of optimism, gratitude, kindness, compassion, and nurturance of ideas and growth; flexible, present moment response creates the space to open to truth in various forms through sound, word, and information.

The more you have a practice of mindfulness and meditation, breathing and prayer, internal spirit-self-communication with a quality of waiting to understand before jumping to conclusions – open-mindedness – the more you will experience truth in all your interactions.

The best form of teaching is through modeling.  Our brains are hard-wired to learn through modeling.  Living in a way that is consistent with what you value can go far to teach.

Many roles incorporate guidance, direction, teaching and strength building – managers, parents, coaches – all have the foundation of teaching at their base.  Highly effective coaches, managers, and parents share the skill of meeting their students where they are, defining their strength and limitations,  building their strengths and transforming their limitations into strengths all with compassion and frankness.

To develop these skills try the following steps:

  • Practice noticing what works.
  • Practice looking for how you agree and connect with another.
  • Practice flexibility and paradigm shifting, allow the other person’s meaning to connect with you even if how he says it is different from how you say it.  Think here of the issue of recognizing that having different names for god isn’t having different gods.  The connecting point is that both parties have a deep belief in god even if the story about how to be connected to god is different.  Connecting to the elements that agree is the best starting point for understanding and teaching or relationship.
  • Be grateful for what is great about what is happening rather than sorrowful or even sullen about what isn’t.  Practice turning things on their head, thinking the opposite, and just saying thank you.

For example if you just lost your job – being grateful is to look for how that loss allows for something new and better to come into your life.  Maybe the loss of the job allows you to learn something about yourself that is negative that you have to change so that you can be successful.

The attitude of gratitude is when you have to define what is great about something that feels negative or is a loss – simply looking from the perspective of asking the question how can this be good allows you to open your eyes to see the positive aspects.

Sometimes the attitude of gratitude is using your thinking skills to put the issue in perspective – for example if you are unhappy with a habit of your partner’s – consider what else you love about him so that you can view the frustrating habit within context.  You may find it is less bothersome or you may be able to communicate about what you don’t like without making it into a big fight.  More on how to develop the attitude of gratitude here, less attitude more gratitude, 9.2.11.

  • Reframe the energy of your “student”.  If he is willful guide his strength to help him be stronger internally rather than get into trouble.  Of if he is rebellious support the innovation rather than reinforce the reactivity.

Relationships don’t require work because there is something wrong with them – relationships require work because we all live in our separate universes that are in constant need of interpretation and definition.

Effective teaching (managing, guiding, parenting, coaching) requires care and willingness and a compassionate practice of viewing, interpreting, connecting, and translating.  Knowing yourself, allowing the dynamic process of evolution within yourself and the dynamic process of evolution in the other to be, and to be understood, and to be connected.  That is the essence of effective teaching and ultimately the essence of loving, honest relationship.

Embrace your great honor of teaching with all the wonderful beings and “students” in your life.  It will bring you immense joy and a real sense of love and connection.  Start with yourself.  More information about how to increase your internal connection can be found in an earlier article on this site, InstinctiveHealthMedicine, 8.28.10, Guiding ones beliefs and actions.

The divine spark of spirit lives in our truthful capacity to see and love one another.  Namaste, is a Sanskrit word that means My soul (spirit light) within me bows to (sees or acknowledges) your soul (spirit light) within you. ( Yoga Journal description of Namaste, Aadil Palkhivala  ) It is generally stated with one’s hands in a prayer position at one’s heart and a very slight bow of one’s head toward the other with one’s eyes closed.  It has a deeply reverent quality.

It is a statement that is often shared at the end of a Yoga session.  Yoga is seen as a medicinal and spiritual practice, not simply an exercise by those who have studied it and maintain it these thousands of years.

  • Develop a practice that allows you to acknowledge in all your actions your connection to spirit and to integrate your spirt-mind-self.  This will increase your opportunities for health and prosperity.

The practice of Yoga allows you to practice communicating with your self – mind, body, and spirit – through breath.

Any practice that is done with breath, compassion, lovingkindness, open – mindfulness, and meditation or prayer will increase your spirit-human connection so that you can align with your true self and create health and prosperity.  Meditation on Lovingkindness

I believe that human beings are spirit-humans. The idea of managing your body and mind integrated with your spirit is what is your most primary work for health and prosperity because it aligns you with your true purpose and true self, not only individually but also as a community of human beings.

  • Teach yourself the difference between how something feels right that is false and propaganda and how something feels right that is truth.

Your first step is to develop a practice of integrated internal communication with yourself and spirit – meditation, prayer, neutral observation, open-mindfulness, and breath are your best communication tools.    To find out more check out this article En-Joy Now, 12.29.10.

Namaste.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


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In the search for security, self-confidence is the first milestone

Hello and Welcome to my new readers!

The idea of security drives much of human action and directed behavior. The search for security can take many paths.  There are different forms of security attached to financial, physical, emotional, relational, and personal safety and various personalities are drawn to various hierarchies of security.  The path chosen will be focused on the core insecurity for the person.

So if you find that being alone is difficult or you have your strongest feelings of insecurity around relationships then it was in that portion of your life that you have a lack of security and a lack of strength.  If you live here then money may not be of much importance but human interaction is a focus of security.  Individuals who live here will say,  “the money will come” but if someone doesn’t respond to them quickly they begin to catastrophize about the meaning of the lack of communication, sometimes even after 15 minutes of waiting.

If you focus on making money and creating financial security then not having money creates an inner sense of insecurity.  If you live here then relationships have less of a pull on you but wealth creation and savings is of great importance.  Individuals who live here easily let go of other people’s needs or requests and in general can survive with few connections but they have difficulty spending the wealth they created.  They may be unable to spend their money even on fairly necessary things because the spending causes them to feel paralyzed by insecurity.  This is an example of someone who has the funds but never spends it – the money in the bank, or in some cases millions under the mattress, creates no sense of comfort except in the knowing it is there.

How a person develops a sense of insecurity is related to his early circumstances, his place in society, his parent’s perspective of security and his personal temperament and skill set.

So an individual who focuses on financial security will usually have a story or myth behind it that describes a powerful point in his life when he was without money and the lack of money felt dire, dangerous, and life-threatening.  The gathering and having of money becomes the object of security.

In a different circumstance an individual who focuses on connection or relationship for security will have a story of being abandoned and the abandonment will feel like a dire, life-threatening situation.  Physical neglect and abuse in early childhood can feel like an abandonment and individuals can develop an insecurity in relationship as a result of this.  The relationship, being connected to someone, is the object of security.

The issue of insecurity is an equation of the experience plus the attached story or belief system connected to a feeling of life-or-death.  So not all individuals that come from poverty or abuse, who have a challenging financial situation or individuals who have dealt with abandonment, will develop this sense of insecurity.

And this sense of insecurity is something that shows up along a continuum, from slight to overwhelming.  On the slight end of the continuum, supportive groups and talking oneself through the anxiety can be enough to decrease the internal reaction or imbalance.  On the more overwhelming end it can be debilitating, interfering with an individual’s capacity to function.

The word security can conjure up many different connotations: a sense of physical safety, inner balance, laws and rules; the meanings are diverse but the underlying concept seems to refer to a sense of balance and safety.

In order to create a sense of security, the work needs to begin at home.  The first step is to build an internal sense of security or self-confidence and inner strength.

Child development theorists talk about this as the first stage of development for children.  It develops out of trust or mistrust of your caregiver. From there, following Erik Erikson’s developmental model, each stage builds on the previous stage.  A feeling of trust and confidence will lead to self-confidence, competence, success in relationships and career.  Creating this pathway for your child is a function of being present and real with her.  Creating this for yourself is a function of returning to neutral, returning to balance, through meditation and paradigm shifting with compassion and lovingkindness toward others and yourself.

Mindful meditation is a useful habit to help create this.

A feeling of mistrust can skew the development of these capacities; it can decrease your chance to develop the positive aspects of the stages.  It can result in a lack of self-confidence, insecurity, timidity, a lack of internal strength, a sense of incompetence and ultimately if enough aspects are negatively affected then insecurity can create an individual who has difficulty with relationships, is unable to make basic decisions, and breaks down in nominally stressful situations.

This situation can be positively affected with meditation, prayer, breathing, and reality testing through compassionate paradigm shifting.

The first milestone to shifting your relationship with security into balance is through the development of self-confidence.

More about how to development self-confidence and stave off insecurity in upcoming blogs.  Also see February 3, 2011, blog instinctive health medicine, self-confidence vs insecurity, and other blogs through the search icon above under insecurity.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


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Focus your energy and breathe

Hello

As a therapist, my job is listening.

It  is a special kind of listening not the listening of a friend, or a mother who just wants to soothe.   Although I deeply care for those with whom I work, from a broader perspective listening has many facets.

It is a listening that requires rapid responses, redirection, and guidance offering a sense of calm.

The listening is active but not strained.  I’m present in the foreground in a neutral open way, while in the background my mind, heart, intuition, and senses are evaluating the information on some kind of inner grid; the person’s tonal quality, choice of words, and speech as well as the content of what was said and not said used to develop a multi-level understanding of the person and the problem at hand, in context.

I have developed a special kind of quiet speech, and stillness that becomes even more quiet and still in response to increased danger or lack of balance.  When working my voice has a soothing, relaxing quality that allows others to easily allow a trance state.

While in my personal interactions I may become agitated, in my therapeutic setting I seem to have the ability to drop my blood pressure and pulse in more dangerous circumstances, telegraphing a sense of calm composure.  In the same way an animal can smell fear I transmit a sense of security and peace to assist the person to return to a sense of calm balanced harmony.

This is something that I developed instinctively over a period of time when working in stressful, dangerous environments.  The calmer my demeanor the more likely the danger could be averted.

This tactic is directly related to the concept of energy and breath.

A fascinating phenomenon of activity and passivity in unison, which I believe is a the mechanism that allows others to feel better after being in my presence  and encourages them to return.

It is the sense of being seen and heard that allows the person to move forward to receive the necessary information and support from me.  This sense of visibility in a safe way is soothing and strengthening.

She experiences things already known by her as well as things unknown to her that have the quality  of truth or accuracy or deep familiarity.  In combination this increases a sense of security and strength.  And allows for a letting go of structures that no longer serve her and development of structures which do.

I have developed a way to transmit calm in stressful situations.  Practicing this skill will create an environment for harmony and I think it is what allows for the shifts in the people I see in my practice.

So it’s about paying attention and responding to the situation with a sense of calm neutral interest.  A serious and gentle way of guiding and supporting.

These are precisely the terms used to describe mindful mediation or mindfulness.  And it is through these actions that a person can reduce her anxiety or anxious behavior and feelings of obsessive compulsions.

So it is no wonder that the experience in therapy is soothing and strengthening.

But how to get that when you are not with your therapist.

It turns out the best thing to do is to imitate her in your response to yourself.

  • Smile, sit quietly, listen to yourself, your words, your tone, your word choice, what you say and what you hold back.
  • Listen and pay attention with a sense of calm neutral interest.
  • Appreciating the situation with a gentle seriousness.
  • To get to this kind of state the first thing to do is to focus your energy inward in a gentle, calm and interested way.
  • A gentle questioning: what is going on here, what do I feel, when did it begin, what relationships are present?
  • Then listening to the answer that presents itself with a neutral interest; no need to prove the rightness or wrongness of what is noticed.
  • Then Breathe.  Breathe again deeply and fully with a smile in between your exhalation and inhalation.  Allowing for your heart to open and listen too.
  • A feeling of Love and a connection to spirit help.

Feeling a warm caring and sense of spiritual connection allows me to move into my heart even when I have lost my way, by simply breathing, focusing my energy, smiling and being open  to the perfect answer to the situation presenting itself.

Allowing things to flow seems to be the most difficult.

If you have created success through your mind’s ability to discover the answer and prove it, you will find this allowing part difficult.  Remembering that pushing the river takes more energy and doesn’t get very far – go with the flow.

In general the best answers come to us, they appear or present themselves.  Yes perhaps as a result of study, and work on the problem but is usually after the problem is set to the back burner that the whole picture is revealed along with the solution.

So focusing your energy on the problem, setting a desire or intention, and then releasing it unto breath – breathing through the need to make it happen especially when it’s out of your control, that is the place of real strength and power.

Focus your energy and breathe, you will feel that inner sense of calm and a sense of inner balance.  From this place you will see solutions present themselves if you are paying attention to the information in the universe.

See you tomorrow,

Beth


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Turning over a new leaf

Hello

I have been thinking about change and the idea of turning over a new leaf.  It is really quite poetic.

Change happens whether there is focus upon it or not as this is the way of things.  But the intentional act of looking at something from a different perspective can have the feeling of transformation and illumination.  Turning over a new leaf has a voluntary aspect to it. It is the action connected to changing perspectives or paradigm shifting.

This works equally as well when considering the need to change a belief – turning over a (be)-lief so that you are shifting your perspective allows you to change the lens of your internal vision in the same way you zoom in or out on a subject with a camera, focusing and refocusing.

In Gestalt therapy turning over a belief is also used to see what is under the belief – what is the etiology of the belief.

This idea is a great one for assisting you to determine how to shift your perspective.  When you understand what idea or experience is the beginning form of the belief and you understand the function of the belief then you can determine if the belief still fits into your overall core value system or if you need a more functional belief.

Beliefs are the things that guide you.  They are based on your core values.  Some beliefs are a misconnection of core value and action.  These are the beliefs that need to be investigated and understood at a deeper level.

How you know you are acting from a belief that doesn’t serve the purpose you think is through recognition of our feelings.  You have to identify what you are getting out of the belief and the action.

To identify which beliefs may be not serving you, look for how you feel in certain circumstances.  If you are feeling anxious or a sense of urgency – and the anxiety and urgency seem out of proportion to the situation – then you are probably acting under a belief that is not benefitting you.

Many beliefs keep you tied to others in a way that uses your energy to maintain the connection.  And the actions you take to maintain that habit can be automatic and unconscious, or unthinking not mindful.

As an example:  A person who believes she is unlovable, (belief) will over-give  (action) to another in order to make up for her insecurity and low self-esteem.  She is cementing the other’s reliance on her because she feels the relationship is not balanced without this extra action.  However, this creates a lack of balance in how the energy flows between herself and others.  She may feel taken for granted or not recognized.  She may at times feel unhappy about how she is unable to focus her energy onto herself, can’t create success in her own life,  or can’t get out of difficult relationships.  Yet in attempts to shift her energy she will define it as necessary until she reviews the underlying belief – because she is acting from this underlying belief.

In order for a person to change her actions she must first shift her perceptions of truth or reality.

She must change the world within to change the world outside.

In the example above she must discover her truly lovable self and then from that space interact.  This discovery would come less from some deep understanding of why and more from an alignment with what she observes.  She would observe that she is connected, and others do care for her, and that it is through her overextension of herself that relationships breakdown.  This allows her to simply shift her action to be more in balance and then her relationships would be more in balance.

The only time this equation doesn’t work is when the other person expects the overextension.  If a person chooses to overextend but knows that is what she is doing then she is acting from a balanced and mindful state that allows her to be living more healthfully.  It is when a person is taking actions unconsciously, in habit, from a misunderstood belief that lack of health occurs.

The action of making a change for the better, of Turning over a new leaf, requires the mindful action of reviewing and turning over the belief underneath the undesirable or difficult action, mindful paradigm shifting.

Your actions and thinkings are linked and together define how you see the world and how you act in the world.

If the world seems bleak or you are in a habit of acting in a way that does not serve you, doesn’t bring you joy, and you want to change,  first look to the underlying beliefs that guide your behavior.

A simple technique is to get two pieces of paper and cut these into the shape of two large leaves.

On the top of the first leaf write the feelings that are bothering you, the habits you feel are destructive or not healthy that you want to change.  Then turn over that first leaf and write what beliefs drive those habits.  These will be deep inner feelings about yourself and your self in relationship.  Issues of lovability, survival, fear, and loss are strong motivators for actions.

On top of the second leaf – the new leaf – write down changed actions – how you want to act in the world.  Then turn over the second leaf and write down the opposite belief of the information on the first leaf ( so if you had written I am unlovable then here you would write I am lovable).  The simple action of righting the belief will give you greater strength to change your behavior.

With this task you have created a path to change,  turn over a new leaf and begin to live in a way that is more in-line with your true self.  To further solidify this path you can write down a set of actions you are going to take to realign your actions with your true beliefs.

In the example above, she would discuss her feelings of overextension and being taken for granted with her friends and family.  She would define different ways to both be helpful and identify what is too much.  Then she would have to catch herself when she was acting habitually or automatically, rather than mindfully, to overextend.  This would take some adjustment.  In time her inner sense of balance and self-confidence would grow and she would feel more connected to the people around her.

Effective change happens when beliefs and actions are in balance.  It is an act of mindfulness, with a focus on congruency and balance.

I see a pile of new leaves blowing in the wind.  The seeds of change.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


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meditation and mindfulness, your mind’s natural anti-anxiety for attentional problems

Hello

Anxiety can feel like an internal restlessness, an irritability, a desire to avoid something and a need to distract yourself from what is in your senses, emotions,  mind, and thoughts.  It splits your focus and your energy.

This can be a conscious set of activities or an unconscious one.  It can look to another as if you are distracted, bored, inattentive, irritable, disagreeable and sometimes hyperactive.  Due to this, anxiety in children can be confused with ADD and when hyperactivity is present treated with a number od different medications.  For individuals wanting to keep their children free of medications I encourage you to look at how to decrease your child’s anxiety or stress reactions through structure, compassion development of mindfulness activities and meditation.

Attention is a combination of focus, interest, and energy.  There are neural pathways involved in attention that incorporate emotion (interest, focus, and energy)  the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala, and the hippocampus.  The frontal and parietal lobes assist with memory, attention, and behavior.  These pathways can be excited by overuse, overstimulation, and create problems with mediating fearful, anxiety provoking situations.  Some of these fearful states can be as simple as test anxiety, anxiety in social situations,  and intense worry in young children who are sensitive.

Gestalt looks at this anxious activity as a way to keep yourself out of a present moment state and uses various techniques to get you into the present.  For the most part, much of Gestalt therapy is the development and use of mindfulness.

Anxiety defined in Gestalt therapy is having your attention focused in the past or the future, with rumination about what has happened in a circulatory way or what might happen, what if, in a circulatory way.  These actions keep a person out of the present where he has actual power to make decisions and take actions. These actions are distracting and in general the person looks unfocused, bored, inattentive, restless, and defiant.  Mindfulness and meditation are present moment activities that help to quell anxiety and refocus the person’s attention.

Actions and connections in the brain happen quickly and sometimes an individual may not be aware of feeling anxious – they may feel irritable, restless, or bored but not know the etiology of their feelings.  When this happens with children, teachers and parents often respond by being more firm providing consequences for the inattention – if the lack of focus is related to anxiety then this normal response from parents or teachers can exacerbate the problem within the child and increase his anxiety resulting in more negative behavior on the part of the child.

Creating space for downtime, lengthening transition time, attending to the child’s physical stressors of sleep, nourishment (both physical and emotional) and exercise ( lack of or too much), and teaching mindfulness and meditation tools to your child are your best antidotes to anxiety and inattention.

This is true whether the underlying issue is social anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, attention deficit disorder or hyperactivity.  Structure, connection, mindfulness, and meditation all allow the child to move into the center of his world so that he can increase his internal sense of power and see from a neutral perspective.  This moves your child into a present moment so that it is virtually impossible to feel anxiety since anxiety is connected to past- or future-time concerns.  It increases the down cycle of your child’s brain so that he can incorporate new learning and integrate old information with new information – the required cycling of the brain is intense focus and down cycling for incorporation.

1.  Set up a routine for sleep, rest, exercise, and nourishment that is reasonable for your child and predictable.

2.  When transitioning from play to work wakefulness to sleep – (and vice versa), and intense activities make sure you create 20 to 30 minutes of transition time – longer when the next activity is anxiety provoking for your child.

3. Know your child.  Educate yourself on the specific symptoms your child has developed to telegraph his anxiety.  Educate him on these too.

4.  Develop specific strategies for your child to use to manage his anxiety when he notices one of his triggers or symptoms.  I.E.:  focused breathing, visualization techniques, journaling to release fears and increase opportunities for reality testing (paradigm or perspective shifting), meditation, mindfulness, and changing his environment to shift his energy.

5.  Engage other caregivers to assist your child in utilizing these strategies.

6.  Maintain clear boundaries with fair and loving, compassionate consequences.

If you have a child who has been diagnosed with ADD and is being treated with medication but still has attentional issues it may be that the medication is assisting your child with his anxiety through the “frontal lobe putting ‘reins’ on the amygdala…”  This is only covering the possible underlying etiology of the inattentive behavior and under stressful circumstances your child’s anxiety and negative behavior will recur.  According to Srini Pillay a psychiatrist and author of  Life Unlocked:  7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear (2010).  He suggests:

1. Ask yourself: If anxiety were the culprit, what would the reason be?
2. Have you tucked away any fears that you don’t know how to deal with?
3. Do you avoid situations to avoid anxiety?
4. Are you “tolerating” anything in your life, and if so, what?
5. What are your greatest unfulfilled desires and how could your dissatisfaction about this be impacting you?

If you write down brief answers to these questions, you will be well on your way to understanding the possible unconscious anxiety in your brain. If you work with a professional, ask them about his, and check to see if treating the anxiety restores your attention. Exploring this possibility in the longer term is usually what helps people find a way to deal with the anxiety. Remember, anxiety is really just “electrical energy” gone haywire in your brain. The best way to deal with random electrical energy is to make sure you are “grounded” and to make sure that there is an appropriate channel through which it can flow.

It may well be that your attention deficit disorder is actually an anxiety excess disorder. Consider this carefully before deciding on your strategy. Taking a little extra time to explore this may be worth the wait.  Srini Pillay  (2010)

Emotion, memory, attention and experience are all interconnected.

Mindfulness, meditation, and structuring your life to allow for physical and emotional nourishment, and the natural cycle of stimulus and downtime for integration will assist you and your child to deal with the complexities and stressors in life that can cause anxiety and a lack of focus.

These suggestions are helpful for adults and children struggling with inattention, distraction, lack of motivation, and moodiness that may be indicative of internal anxiety.

Practicing mindfulness, meditation, compassionate, neutral paradigm shifting to access an internal centeredness allows you to create balance within so that your response to your environment can be balanced.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


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The Arousing, 51 chen (shock, thunder) Source energy uplifts in times of crisis

When there is an upheaval in your environment you get an opportunity to re-evaluate your perspective, your beliefs, and the values on what you base your life and actions.

You get an opportunity to re-set your core values – your inner guidance system.  Just as your senses are your internal emotional guidance system to know when a boundary is being crossed, so are your core values your internal spiritual guidance system to set your course through your life.

When your life is bombarded by a set of upheavals or changes you are given an opportunity to reset your life course, your choices in how you move through, and act in your own life.

Upheaval and change can be a profoundly freeing and joyous time.  In every element it is like a new birth and new commitment to yourself and your goals.

Spiritual connection is paramount.  This does not have to be a specific belief in God or a religion.  Although, having the structure, ritual and connection of a set-belief is useful for some, for others it can be a barrier.  Opening your heart to a source connection without getting hung up on a name, or structure that is limiting, is best.  It may simply be knowing  that there is a fabric, an underlining, underpinning thread that connects all beings, one to another, and that your life is guided by some abiding principle of love and light and joy.

Intense and shocking upheaval can be debilitating if the fear of change is too strong.  This is especially true when the upheaval is in the area of health or relationship, or in some way in which you feel your capacity for survival is challenged.

  • If you are being challenged by a loss of how you usually deal with things
  • or if you are receiving sensory feedback that you must change your style of being in the world
  • you can feel very vulnerable and alone.

An example of the latter is if you have been struck by a debilitating illness that can only be treated with a complete change in how you handle stress.

  • Many auto-immune disorders are like this.
  • They are exacerbated by stress, and imbalance of spirit, mind, and body.
  • Continued physical and emotional stress to your body and attempts to control that which is out of your control will result in further injury to  your body.
  • You can become physically debilitated.

To heal, you would have  to relearn how to be in the world.  This is frightening, shocking and resistance is often the first response.   Stress and lack of balance cause dis-ease in emotions and thoughts, and disease in the body.  So, although the precursor event was long, enduring, and insidious the appearance of the disease feels like a shock.

Another example that manifests as a shock is a change within yourself about how you want to relate to those around you.

  • Perhaps you have discovered that you give away your energy in order to facilitate a sense of intimacy and survival, but in reality you feel alone and disconnected.
  • You may have discovered a system of behavior wherein you are a caregiver for many others, but have little exchange, so that all your energy is going out.  This is another example of a longstanding insidious belief system misconnected to a core value of giving and compassion that has left you with an internal emptiness and illness.
  • The sense of emptiness and illness are the shocking, arousing experience.

In order to assist your spiritual development and manifestation of balance you can use mindfulness and meditation to review earlier events and current events from a neutral perspective.  This allows for a renewed perspective that allows you to reset your core values to your current behavior, actions, and thoughts to create Joy and Health.

In fact, mindfulness, meditation, and neutrality are essential in order to resist the sinking into the abyss of fear or despair under these circumstances and to rebuild your inner core strength.

The I Ching, a profoundly spiritual, Confucian-Taoist text describes the underlining component of  upheaval in hexagram 51, Chen, The Arousing, (shock,thunder) as a time when one is enlightened and sustained by his knowledge of God.  And this sustains him and leads him to success.

The shock that comes from the manifestation of God within the depths of the earth makes man afraid, but this fear of God is good, for joy and merriment can follow upon it.  

When a man has learned within his heart what fear and trembling mean, he is safeguarded against any terror produced by outside influences. Let the thunder roll and spread terror a hundred miles around:  he remains so composed and reverent in spirit that the sacrificed rite is not interrupted.  This is the spirit that must animate leaders and rulers of men – a profound inner seriousness from which all outer terrors glance off harmlessly. 

The shock of continuing thunder brings fear and trembling.  The superior man is always filled with reverence at the manifestation of God; he sets his life in order and searches his heart,lest it harbor any secret opposition to the will of God.  Thus reverence is the foundation of true culture.

It is a profoundly compassionate and reverent passage and brings to the fore the importance of spirit in the life of a successful person.  Success here is a sense of joyful, balanced, purposeful action that creates wellness in action and experience.  The text is meant to be used by leaders and individuals in powerful positions so that they may deal with the complexities of life and leadership in a profoundly compassionate, directed, focused, balanced way to protect guide and create prosperity for the community.

The concept of God is not commonly discussed in this treatise.  In Confucian beliefs, there is a predominance of communication about energy following a course of increase and decrease and that is the way of the universe.  Yet, here it is a central theme and identified as the preeminent focus for internal strength in times of crisis and strategy.  This indicates to me that source energy is personal and private, and of great importance in our internal guidance system.

The methods of mindfulness, prayer, and meditation are the best avenues for discovering and maintaining a connection to source.

Practicing these methods will assist you in developing a strong positive connection to source so that when you are faced with an upheaval that is shocking you can utilize these techniques to redirect your life and create Joy and Health., in love and light, bg


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Evolution of consciousness II

Hello

The concept of evolving ones consciousness in an intentional, distinct, and proactive method is what therapy offers from my perspective.

And doing this process can shift your spiritual consciousness to perceive the balance of spirit, mind, and body brings about the highest degree of health, prosperity and love.

The multi-level shift in consciousness allows for you to align your actions, behaviors and statements to your inner and uncensored values.

As you become aware of your feelings, your paradigms, your values and your actions you may have the opportunity to evolve your consciousness, shift your perceptions and your actions, so that in essence you are living in a completely different world.  The issue of awareness is subtle and profound.  It is not simply awareness on a sensory level but also cognitively and mindfully.

Our consciousness is our awareness on a physical wakefulness arena as well as our multilevel understanding of time and space the concept of dimensions.  Individuals who are able to have a consciousness of information or events in a time prior to them occurring are living in a dimension that includes time on a continuum; 4th, 5th or 6th dimensional awareness is another type of consciousness.

Alignment means acting or speaking in ways that portray your spiritual, moral, and perceptual values.  Sometimes called core values.

So when you are developing your mindfulness, and applying this to your actions, thinkings, and perceptions you are actually shifting your consciousness.  You are changing your perceptual world both subjectively and objectively, as well as changing how you interact with your environment and the people with whom you relate.

This is an evolution of consciousness that takes the form of a spiral inner and then outer.  First you observe a shift, then you internalize this observation, and then instantaneously you feel an internal shift that guides your outer movements and behavior.

Visualization and mindful meditation are effective tools to elucidate your core values.  These also are excellent tools to begin to create new patterns in how you relate in the world.

A visualization is a type of meditation that incorporates an inner picture of what you are either trying to shift or to create.  You begin the visualization process by going into a light meditative and peaceful state.

Using your breath you can consciously calm and balance your conscious awareness and being. Remember when you begin a meditation you want to make your inhalations shorter than your exhalations. Breathing in for a count of five and then breathing our for a count of seven is a good start.  The visualization part is what you see on the inner plane; what you put your attention to in a visual way; like seeing a beach or a special scene of some sort.

To use a visualization to shift your perspective you may use the internal feeling you get from viewing a picture of someone with whom you have a supportive, compassionate, forgiving and loving relationship to shift your experience of another negative, difficult person or  situation.

Firs, gaze upon the face of the one with whom you have the positive internal feelings, and sensory awareness.  Once, you are firmly experiencing this individual’s love and kindness you can replace the image with the problem person or situation.  The loving feeling or sensory experience from the first person can elicit a feeling of compassion, lovingkindness or forgiveness in you so that you can see the other from a different perspective.  The will allow you to have a shift in our consciousness of that person so that you can more effectively and less harmfully (personally) deal with that person or situation.

Another nice way to use visualization is to picture the shift in the person or situation; for example if you are feeling unheard by another you can go into a meditative state and picture the other person listening to you.  This helps to clear the negative imbalance around the event.  If you are feeling lost you can use the visualization to experience finding your way.

This turning the problem upside down offers a paradigm shift and the viewing of the change offers a change within your sensory experience and consciousness.

Visualization and mindful meditation offer effective strategies for shifting your awareness and evolving your consciousness.

These are intentional, distinct, and proactive method self-directed methods for releasing trauma,  shifting paradigms, and smoothing out habitual reactions.  is what therapy offers from my perspective.  These processes can shift your spiritual consciousness and increase sense of oneness and connection to others and our environment in a positive, way.

This shift in consciousness allows for you to align your actions, behaviors and statements to your inner core values;  shifting your perceptions and your actions, so that in essence you are living in a completely different world.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


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the evolution of consciousness: I

Hello

So I have been thinking about how consciousness, phenomenology, mindfulness, and paradigm shifting interface.

Through phenomenology, awareness, and mindfulness, paradigms become identified and can shift.  This shifting shifts our perspective and awareness as well as how we feel about something.  As perspective shifts ones feelings about a situation shifts and as our feelings shift our perspective shifts – so that each can affect the other.

Consciousness then shifts through this process – our consciousness as related to our awareness.  This is a multilevel event.  So that as we become aware of our feelings, our paradigms, our values and our actions we may have the opportunity to evolve our consciousness – shift our perceptions and our actions.  The issue of awareness is subtle and profound.  It is not simply awareness on a sensory level but also cognitively and mindfully.

So when you are developing your mindfulness, and applying this to your actions, thinkings, and perceptions you are actually shifting your consciousness.  You are changing your perceptual world both subjectively and objectively.

This is an evolution of consciousness that takes the form of a spiral inner and then outer.  First you observe a shift, then you internalize this observation, and then instantaneously you feel an internal shift that guides your outer movements and behavior.

So if consciousness is defined this way:

Consciousness  a noun, is defined as 1.  The state or condition of being conscious.  2.  A sense of one’s personal or collective identity, including the attitudes, beliefs, and sensitivities held by or considered characteristic of an individual or group: Love of freedom runs deep in the national consciousness.  3.  Special awareness or sensitivity: class consciousness; race consciousness.  4.  Alertness to or concern for a particular issue or situation: a movement aimed at raising the general public’s consciousness of social injustice.  And 5.  In psychoanalysis, the conscious

Or from Wikipedia this way:

Consciousness is a term that refers to the inter-relationship between the mind the world with which it interacts; awareness that is subjective in nature, a sense of selfhood; the ability to feel or experience wakefulness, and the executive control system of the mind.  The origin of the modern concept of consciousness is often attributed to John Locke’s Essay Concerning Human Understanding – (Locke, 1960).  Locke defined consciousness as “the perception of what passes in a man’s own mind.

The literary author William James is usually credited with popularizing the idea that human consciousness flows like a stream, in his Principles of Psychology (1890). According to James, the “stream of thought” is governed by five characteristics: “(1) Every thought tends to be part of a personal consciousness. (2) Within each personal consciousness thought is always changing. (3) Within each personal consciousness thought is sensibly continuous. (4) It always appears to deal with objects independent of itself. (5) It is interested in some parts of these objects to the exclusion of others”.

A similar concept appears in Buddhist philosophy, expressed by the Sanskrit term Citta-saṃtāna, which is usually translated as mindstream or “mental continuum”. In the Buddhist view, though, the “mindstream” is viewed primarily as a source of noise that distracts attention from a changeless underlying reality.

For our purposes the mindtream is anything that is ongoing as in consciousness attention or awareness.

Stream of consciousness writing offers the experience of being within the person’s perception of events – in his mind or thoughts.  In psychological counseling this type of journaling allows a person to see or review how he experiences another or a situation and recognize habitual reactions that are not useful.  It is a form of writing meditation that allows for a shift in perspective or an internal paradigm shift.

And phenomenology is defined:

Phenomenology is a method of inquiry that attempts to examine the structure of consciousness in its own right, putting aside problems regarding the relationship of consciousness to the physical world. This approach was first proposed by the philosopher Edmund Husserl, and later elaborated by other philosophers and scientists.  Husserl’s original concept gave rise to two distinct lines of inquiry, in philosophy and psychology. From a philosophical perspective phenomenology has largely been devoted to fundamental metaphysical questions, such as the nature of intentionality (“aboutness”). From a psychological perspective, phenomenology largely has meant attempting to investigate consciousness using the method of looking inward or introspection;  looking into one’s own mind and reporting what one observes. This method fell into disrepute in the early twentieth century because of grave doubts about its reliability.

The methods of phenomenology are simply a type of mindful meditation.  Very useful in reviewing one’s behavior and what causes one to act in a specific way.

Introspectively, the world of conscious experience seems to have considerable structure. Immanuel Kant, a phenomenologist, asserted that the world as we perceive it is organized according to a set of fundamental “intuitions”, which include object (we perceive the world as a set of distinct things); shape; quality (color, warmth, etc.); space (distance, direction, and location); and time.

I have written about this as seeing in 4-D.

Then it is through these processes that we develop our sense of self, time, place in the world, goals, and success/failures.  The idea of mindfulness then is using these processes to assist you in your own internal development to meet external goals and aspirations which change as you focus your mindfulness, incorporate shifting paradigms, and respond to the world in the present moment.

Despite the large amount of information available, the most important aspects of perception remain mysterious. A great deal is known about low-level signal processing in sensory systems, but the ways by which sensory systems interact with each other, with “executive” systems in the frontal cortex, and with the language system are very incompletely understood. At a deeper level, there are still basic conceptual issues that remain unresolved.

Mindfulness is about working with the energy of your perspective and then shifting that perspective to see anew.  It can have this universal quality wherein the individual becomes increasingly interconnected in his or her understanding of others.  Through this it can lead to what the Buddhists refer to as the One.  That what we do to others we do to ourselves; that other and self are not divisible and so that 2 plus 2 equal not 4 but One.

The evolution of ones own consciousness is about shifting not only your perspective but how you perceive and enact your values.

This is a powerful thing.

If consciousness can evolve, then this evolution can be effected through meditation and mindfulness.

How to do this and what shifts your perception and leads to the evolution of consciousness?  More to come in Evolution of Consciousness II.

See you tomorrow.

Beth


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Follow your bliss and the universe will open…

Hello

I have been considering what it means to be a leader.  Leadership is about having the ability to see and know the answer and be able to communicate the solution to a problem.

It is also about power and energy.

There are positive leaders who negotiate power from an interior source and there are negative leaders who negotiate power from an exterior source.

When you can ascertain a solution quickly, you feel an internal sense of ‘rightness”, and can communicate it efficiently – then you have power for others to listen to you, and you will be able to be a positive leader.

It is not the leadership in and of itself that will result in success or well-being.  Leading toward something of value is a key component to making a difference in a way that is seen as a positive leader – this is the energetic component of leadership and power.  Negative leaders have lost their internal sense of bliss and joy and are focused on the enticing allure of power in and of itself.

We all can remember a leader in our childhood who, had power, quick thinking and a powerful style of motivating the group; but only some of those individuals focused their energy onto a meaningful and successful path.  Some got lost in the effervescence of power itself.  Their charm and ease in directing the group made it so they lost their way and got caught up in the power – like a swirl of rapid that just circles around and in on a rock rather than moving the water down the river.

This stuck energy can be hypnotizing  It circles and feels so strong that one doesn’t notice they aren’t actually going anywhere, just circling in this feeling of power with no result or movement toward a goal. Individual’s caught in this find that others move on and they are stuck in the same position.  Much like a leaf caught in a swirl rapid around a great boulder in the river, swirling forever in the same place with great force and energy but getting nowhere.

How to get out of such a situation?

First, it’s important to recognize your circumstance.

Second, you have to focus your energy to not follow the current and truly shift your energy and focus.  When you’re stuck the best way out is like jumping the curve.  And the most effective way to do that is to discern your inner and undeniable bliss – if that is what you follow rather than that feeling of power then you will shift the current such that you can be guided out of the whirlpool and into the true current of life and life energy.

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls – Joseph Campbell.

If you have been acting and behaving in ways to gain power but are pulling yourself away from your central sense of joy then you are not following your bliss.  You may be caring for others and giving energy to many in a sense of obligation and love but you may have incorrectly identified that your goal was to give away your power in this way to feel powerful.  This will ultimately deplete you, tie the other to you as they think they need you to survive, and create a whirlpool of energy that disallows true movement along the river of energy and life.

How can you ascertain this is what is happening?

Are you energized or depleted in your energy?  Does your energy fall deeply and do you feel exhausted when you receive disapproval?  Do you feel you rarely have time to focus on your own goals and are you often feeling pulled away when you do focus on your goals?  Do you feel that you are not the guide of your own path?

The first question is one of the most important questions.  This lack of energy, a sense of depletion, exhaustion, depression, and inner sadness or loss can indicate a long-standing focus away from your internal sense of bliss.

How to find you bliss.  Seems funny but some people have lost their internal knowing of bliss.  They don’t know or remember what brings them joy.  They are focused without instead of within.  The answer is to go within, to be still, to listen, to observe and pay attention to energy.  When your energy wanes you are moving away from your bliss – when your energy swells and grows you are moving toward or with your bliss, allowing it to guide you.

So to get out of the whirlpool of swirling circular energy that simply depletes you – you need to first identify your circumstance.  Observe what brings you energy and what depletes you.  Identify the activities that increase your internal sense of well-being and inner joy.  Then once you notice these patterns begin to adjust your life course so that what guides you is your bliss.  This may be identified as a single activity or a more diverse set of connected activities.  These will have some value and internal connection within you and they will increase your sense of vitality.

Once you have discerned this then you can begin to redirect your energy and behavior so that you are led by your bliss and in turn lead others in the direction of well-being and their bliss.

For some their response to your changes will be negative and fearful.  This is simply a fear based response because they have not yet connected to their bliss. Kindly, gently redirect them away from feeding off your energy.  Encourage them to discern their circumstance and find their inner bliss.

Following your bliss opens your world to so many beautiful opportunities, it increases your energy, and brings joy and well-being to yourself and those you love.  It is the way of mindful, loving leadership toward fulfillment, success, and peace.  It is empowering and powerful in the most enlightening way.

In bliss….love and light…

See you tomorrow.

Beth


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Balancing the Power Differential in relationship

Hello

One of the biggest impediments to having a healthy meaningful relationship is an unequal distribution of power between the parties.  It can set up an undercurrent of resentment and power plays that inhibit trust and intimacy.

The way in which power is measured in relationship varies.  In marriages, money and decision-making on how it is spent, sex and how leisure time is distributed, and feeling a sense of collaboration or division of tasks are all areas of power distribution.  Even how a relationship proceeds has to do with an agreement on how power is shared in the relationship.  These features and equations, in general, determine how power is divided and determines the power differential.  Some of these issues can be applied to work partnerships and friendships.

If the differential is too great or not consistent with internal expectations there will be conflict and strife that could upset the continuity, fiber, and longevity of the relationship.

When talking about power the definition has to do with an internal sense of empowerment in the style and course of the relationship as well as the capacity to get done that which the individual feels is necessary or important to the relationship and/or individual.  This includes an internally consistent picture of self by the other.  In other words if I perceive myself to be talented and strong and my partner treats me in a fashion that exhibits that his picture of me is that I am talented and strong – then that is an internally consistent picture of self by the other.

A sense of feeling empowered would consist of a sense of joy, contentment, and strength; together this would feel like a sense of inner control.  In this instance the person would experience  that his values are valued by his partner and that he has the ability to direct his life accordingly.  A sense of feeling unempowered or disempowered would consist of a sense of disillusionment and a lack of inner control.  In this instance the person would experience that her values are not valued by her partner and that she does not have the ability to direct her own life.

In the former situation relationship struggles are dealt with in a fairly direct and above-board fashion allowing various opinions to be identified and discussed and a reasonable negotiation to be found.  Both parties would offer honest and clear information and have rather full disclosure of their wants and needs.  The outcomes to these conversations would be supportive to both parties’ needs further increasing the internal sense of control for both parties.  Energy toward change would be dealt with proactively.  Even difficult discussions would be confronted in an honest and compassionate way.

In the latter scenario above there would be a less honest set of disclosures with ever decreasing identification of problems outwardly.  Actions might be taken passively and in an under-cover way so that issues would not be dealt with directly.  There would be a tone of reactivity and defensiveness.  In this scenario there would also be an internally inconsistent picture of self by other.  This is an example of a power differential that is out of balance.

Listening to the language style, tone, and word choice between partners can give you clues to the power differential and if the differential is in balance or not.

A dearth or paucity of conversation and interaction can indicate an imbalance.  This is especially true if it appears that one member is initiating contact and this initiation is met with silence or if the lack of connection appears to be one-sided.  Other signs of an imbalance is a sense of defensiveness or reactivity in tone or word choice, bickering or side-talking without resolution.

If you notice that you are in a relationship that is out of balance look for ways to right the balance.

Observe where you feel resentment or you hear resentment from your partner.  Try to slow down your interaction and compassionately confront the silence or resentment.  Work with the words, tone, or silence lightly, directly and with an earnest interest in learning from your partner.

If the resentment or defensiveness is within you – try to discern what the original driver of the feeling was – could it be a longstanding feeling of unimportance or lack of power or a single incident that has injured you in some way.  Think of what you need to feel whole again – and then gently ask for that.  Try to encourage your partner to reconnect with you on this deeper more loving level.

Try to remember what brought you into partnership and see if you can rekindle the lightness and love.

If what you discover is that you have lost that sense of lightness than try to move to a neutral place so that you can leave the relationship without further injuring the other or yourself.

Power is one of the core issues of development.  All injuries go to power and all successes are related to power.  How you relate to power and how you create a balance of power in relationship is directly connected to the level of joy contentment and strength of that relationship.  Begin with your personal relationship with power within yourself.

Review the power differential in your relationship and how power is distributed – consider how this situation has evolved.  If you discover that you want a different power differential but you want to maintain your connection to your partner then gently discuss the changes you seek to create increased balance.

Balance is the key; clarify for yourself first and then with your partner what you desire and what you want to discard this opens the door to balancing the power differential in relationship.

See you tomorrow.

Beth