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Collaborator or Individualist

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There is a language that goes with collaborators and individualists.

Individualists choose singular pronouns and hold onto information until ready to disseminate it.  Collaborators freely share information and are constantly responding to cues from others.  Collaborators use pronouns like we, they are inclusive and focus on where things connect.  Individualists focus on the places of difference.

Individualists tend to work in solitary activities and their leadership style is hierarchical.  Collaborators tend to work in teams or as support people to others and their leadership style is collaborative and group oriented.

Power for a collaborator is knowledge and the seams at which there is connection and agreement.  Power for an individualist is knowledge and the way in which they have knowledge others do not.

Whether you think and interact like an individualist or a collaborator tends to be a function of nature and environment.  It is a shorthand way to understanding the paradigms through which you view the world.  It also can assist you in understanding under what circumstances you will have conflict with others.

In a way it’s like belonging to a group because individualists communicate with each other better than with collaborators.

Collaborators will continue to collaborate whether interacting with an individualist or a collaborator.  However, the collaboration will feel less one-sided when two collaborators are communicating with each other.

Knowing which of these is your natural preference as well as developing skills in your less preferred mode will assist you in relationships.

Look at your chosen field, do you share information easily and work to create a place of agreement?  Or do you tend to observe others and share little until you feel you have an upper position in the interaction.

Do not confuse this with introversion or extraversion.  Individualists can be both extraverted and introverted.  Their comfort socially is not what defines their individualistic tendency.  The same is true for collaborators.  It is not their place on the introversion/extraversion scale that defines how they choose to interact in groups.

You can also apply this to how you relate with others and your parenting.  Once you have a sense where you are you can observe those with whom you interact.  This insight can give you a guide as to how to reduce conflicts at work and home by discussing ways to interact and work together that is palatable for all parties involved.

In parenting you can assess whether your child is an individualist or collaborator.  This will give you information about how to guide him in his peer choices and how you can provide guidance to him regarding his growth.

It’s a paradigm, so using figure-ground paradigm shifting to bring you to neutral will assist you in having peaceful and successful relationships.

Have fun with it.  Some people easily move between the two paradigms depending on their environment.  This facility with both allows them a greater degree of success in their negotiations.

See you tomorrow.


Author: instinctivehealthparenting4u

Author, Integrative medicine practitioner, psychotherapist. Albuquerque, NM practice, focus on return to balance and the integration of spirit, mind, and body through meditation and mindfulness. Monthly trainings, & professional and personal development coaching. Find more on my website Read my books, Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (, for increased internal wellness and alignment with your spiritual purpose, and to activate joyous love and light, bg

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