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Clarity in knowing

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When you know something is right it moves you closer to creating exactly what you want.

This doesn’t work as perfectly when you are working with another person in relationship because creating requires both people being in the same right place of knowing.  That doesn’t happen that often but when it does things transform immediately.

This knowing also helps to get you through difficult times.  If you know it’s all going to work out then you can tolerate when it is falling apart in front of you because you know it will all go back together in a perfect way.

For me, I have had several experiences of the heart with a clarity in knowing that have served me to act in exactly the right fashion to achieve a sublime result.

When I met the individual who would ultimately become my husband, I had a premonition – a flash of seeing into the future and the past, simultaneously threading past, present, and future together in a beautiful weaving of connection.  I felt that he was the one, not in that high-school-girlish-crush-way rather,  in this deep knowing that was at the core of my being.  It was a peaceful, calm, enlightening experience.  I felt solid not fragile.

This clarity in knowing was very useful as our relationship took a bunch of twists, turns, patience, and working through to result in what is currently quite lovely.  An example when one party has the clarity in knowing and the other doesn’t at first.

An example of when both parties had a clarity in knowing was my first interaction with his son, who has joined my family tree in a grafted on limb of love and connection.  He felt like the son I always wanted and I, to him, felt like the mother-connection he desired.  It was a separate and complete connection.  We turned all those step-mother fairy tales on their heads.  We have a strong, loving bond that has served us well over the years to create a supportive and affirming relationship.

When I met my sweet dog, Joxer, standing in the animal shelter, there was an instantaneous connection between us.  It was like reconnecting with an old friend.  He and I went on to have a companion connection that was extraordinary by anyone’s standards.  And later when I met my next canine companion I could feel him from across the state, just waiting to find his way to us.

With my sweet, lovely daughter, I knew her before she ever began to grow in my belly.  I knew she was coming and that she would be the most amazing being.  Our connection is powerful and enlightening in many good ways.

Now reading this you may say but this is how everyone feels.  Perhaps that is true.  What I see as a clarity of knowing, and the difference from other relationships for me, is the lack of internal conflict in each of these identified relationships.

There were negative comments, disagreements, and dissuasion from the outside about these relationships.  But from within there was a singular knowledge that each of these interactions and relationships were meant to be; and therefore a singular presence in how I acted within them.

This clarity in knowing allowed me to set aside the outside chatter and dissention and focus on the internal knowing and relationship building process.  I was not pulled out of my center by the fears and negativity of the outside environment, or even the difficulties present within the relationship at times, because of the clarity in knowing within my being.

This is a powerful experience and a powerful way of being in the world. To know, and then act on that knowing, focuses all your energy rather than separating off parts of yourself to protect yourself from what you don’t know or what you fear.  Acting from a clarity in knowing space harnesses all your energy to create.

Now this is different from a distorted knowing that is actually a need for completion or control that you find with a stalker.  I am describing an experience that is accepting, peaceful, and centered which allows the other to also have a free choice in the relationship.

How do you know you are not tricking yourself and it’s real.  It’s something you feel in your heart.  It may not be something you fully understand but it is something you know in your heart.

This clarity in knowing is what pushes us forward in times of trouble and it helps us to discern if the trouble is a cue to get out or remain, and work it through.

Having a clarity in knowing is empowering and allows us to act from our strongest and most balanced center.

It includes having an understanding that the other may not choose what you know to be true. So that although you feel certain about the relationship, it may end if the other doesn’t have the same internal experience.  When this happens it is not a result of your clarity in knowing being wrong but rather a result of the free will of  each of us to move forward in our lives on our own determined course.

Having a clarity in knowing is empowering.  It is not a fear, or a need, or a co-dependence. It has a fullness and a peacefulness to it.  With it you act compassionately toward yourself and the other as you each move forward in the relationship and make your choices.  You feel acceptance and love regardless of the outcome.

If you feel the other has let you down or broken an agreement because she does not choose to embrace your clarity in knowing, then you have misappropriated the feeling and misidentified it.  These feelings are not part of a clarity in knowing they belong to some other attachment or linking in relationship.

Clarity in knowing can be applied to what career or field of study best supports who you are.  It can apply to everyday decisions.

To increase your capacity for a clarity in knowing you can develop your mindfulness skills.

Use mindfulness meditation to develop that inner peaceful, centered, balanced, unattached and compassionate state.

The more you live in the present, in empowerment and balance, with compassion, inner strength, confidence, and acceptance, the more available you are to you inner instinctive knowing.

Develop these skills and apply the peaceful attention to your decisions and relationships.  You can increase your clarity in knowing and harness your full energy on whatever you desire to create.

See you tomorrow.


Author: instinctivehealthparenting4u

Author, Integrative medicine practitioner, psychotherapist. Albuquerque, NM practice, focus on return to balance and the integration of spirit, mind, and body through meditation and mindfulness. Monthly trainings, & professional and personal development coaching. Find more on my website Read my books, Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (, for increased internal wellness and alignment with your spiritual purpose, and to activate joyous love and light, bg

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