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Be careful what you wish for OR The trouble with unavowed fears

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In Argue for your limitations posted February, 2010 I used one of my favorite quotes from Richard Bach’s Illusions to discuss the Law of Attraction.

Esther Hicks talks about the Law of Attraction as a function of energy.  In her view, the universe is responding to what you are feeling or requesting from an energy perspective, and so presents opportunities, situations, relationships, and experiences in response to the energy you are expressing, or to what you are most intently focused.  She suggests whatever we are getting is what we are requesting, so that if you don’t like your circumstances you should change what you are requesting.

This is a curious and fascinating concept.

She does not look at this as a blaming but rather a level of responsibility and she sees this as empowering.  You can change your life, if you can simply understand how you are sending the message to the energy universe that creates your situation.  Her book titled, Ask and it is Given, provides many different theories regarding this, with activities to help you discover how you have gotten yourself into your set of circumstances and how to shift the energy.

This concept is described in a number of paradigms of spirituality and theories of how the universe works, ie:  Joel Osteen, Carl Jung, Louise Hay, Bernie Siegel, to name a few authors, theorists.  There is some support of the theory of the law of attraction in psychological theory and some eastern spiritual traditions.

In recent blogs I have written about reading signs, interpreting funky moods and focusing on self-confidence rather than insecurity.  All of these have to do with this issue of creating more of what you want and less of what you fear, by moving yourself into your center and the present moment or now. Through this centeredness you can first be more clear about what it is you want, and second you can disengage the power of your fears.

To stay balanced and mindful and in a neutral unattached state you need to reorient yourself away from what you don’t want, or what you are anxious about or fear, and toward what you want to create from a balanced, neutral, unattached state.  Getting into an unattached neutral state is tricky.  Attachment is a linking equation which suggests if this then that.  It can be a habit reaction pattern or a linking of emotion to action that is historically accurate but not inherently true.

Neutralizing the fear, unlinking or detaching the equation of emotion and action, happens as a result of acknowledging it as well as bringing it into the light to evaluate its realistic nature.  The majority of things we fear are not realistically as powerful and problematic as they feel once acknowledged and viewed in the light of day.  Looking at your fear with the question, so what’s the worst thing that could happen if that is true ( the thing you fear)?  And then querying – can you handle that or what would you do if that happened?  Through these answers you diminish the power of the fear over your sense of well-being and internal okay-ness.

The process of  focusing ourselves in creating our most balanced and essential path in life or way, requires us to utilize our internal guidance system and our inner knowings to move through space and time.  Unattached perceptions allow for desires, and maintain us in our center, so that what is our best action is obvious to us and effortlessly enacted.

To keep us on track this is a great internal mantra.

FOCUS on WHAT you WANT rather than what you fear.  In addition we must be open to increasing our understanding of how much power our fears have over our perception of ourselves and how our fears limit us and keep us shackled.

This mantra keeps you focused within, for your guidance.  When you do this, life stops happening to you and You start living.  You move from the passenger seat, to the driver’s seat of your life, so that more of you and your goals are in your life, rather than reactions to outside opinion or other’s desires for you driving you.

What’s tricky is when you have something about which you are in conflict.

You want a relationship but you are afraid you are not worthy of one or afraid of being hurt.

You want to take a risk but are afraid of making a mistake.

You want to believe in yourself but have a deep-seated feeling of insecurity.

Simply owning and acknowledging your fears diminishes the power they have in your subconscious.  This last concept is well-developed in psychological theory.  Unacknowledged fears and secrets wreak havoc in our unconscious – and in effect call to us from that esoteric collective unconscious, precisely what we fear or that from which we are hiding.

Unlinking the two aspects of the conflict, acknowledging both and then evaluating from a mindful, neutral, unattached, balanced perspective allows for paradigm shifting and reduction of the power of the fear over you actions and responses in your style of being in the world.

In each of these instances above the but part of the sentence negates the element that precedes it and so a conflict arises within the person that gets created in their outside environment and experiences.

In Chinese Medical Theory you can effect the system from various perspectives.  From this paradigm perspective,  changing how you speak about your conflicts in itself can shift the energy of the conflict quite effectively.  As such, I encourage people to use the and conjunction because it allows both elements to exist and be worked through simultaneously – bringing the fear to light where it has less power and reduced charged energy.

If one has conflicting ideas, hiding the fear without addressing it directly or working it through, a self-fulfilling prophecy occurs wherein the person tries the first part of the conflict until what they fear happens and they feel discouraged.

From the perspective of this energy universe – the person puts both requests out but the negative energy has more Humph to it, more charge.  The energy universe reads this as the thing more wanted because charged energy is more energy and so the thing the person most fears is the thing that presents itself.

If you have been unable to see your conflict, and find yourself in this sort of situation faced with precisely what you fear,  you have a choice when the thing you feared presents itself – you can 1/ remain in the conflict  noting that your world experiences support it, OR you can 2/ say hmm, I wonder what this is about and you can delve into what your fear is really about – bringing it into the light of day –  and shift the energy of that issue directly.

The latter affords more empowerment in your style of being in the world.  It also allows you to feel more responsive and less reactive and it will possibly bring quantum shifts in your internal positive sense of self.

The key here is your internal guidance system, the information you receive from your 5 +1 senses.

Your internal guidance system has an inner knowing which is your truth. Your fear may be an accurate description of your past experiences but it is not your truth.

When you evaluate the conflict from a neutral, compassionate, mindful, balanced center you can dislodge the fear and increase your understanding.  Through this process you can create a unified presentation of what you want in your energy request into the energy universe.

The discovery process can feel very en-lightening and freeing as you release the limiting aspect of your fears.

See you tomorrow.


Author: instinctivehealthparenting4u

Author, Integrative medicine practitioner, psychotherapist. Albuquerque, NM practice, focus on return to balance and the integration of spirit, mind, and body through meditation and mindfulness. Monthly trainings, & professional and personal development coaching. Find more on my website Read my books, Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (, for increased internal wellness and alignment with your spiritual purpose, and to activate joyous love and light, bg

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