Ever wake up and everything you see, feel, and experience seems blah or worse frustrating and angry? Those days are hard, cold starts no matter the actual weather outside.
It’s as if you can only see what is wrong with your partner, children, job, and well, life. The key here is to shift the energy BEFORE you start a fight. This is a difficult task if you are not prepared with some excellent tools.
If you have had such a day you know this idea of shifting the energy is often a distant concept. You have a pressure to act on those negative feelings. If you don’t act but you remain feeling that way you may have a very negative inner dialogue throughout the day, and you may begin to have deeper feeling of depression or resentment.
When this happens shift your inner dialogue to an inner negotiation. This is a good time to say okay, it’s true I really find it frustrating when my partner doesn’t seem to be listening to me, but what else might be going on, going on with him or her, going on with me, going on in the environment.
Mindfulness and increased whole-istic awareness really help to re-center you and re-balance you. Returning to balance or re – balancing offers a way to start over with renewed clarity and a more full self and a more broadened perspective; focus in and focus out to increase your overall perspective of you, other, and the situation.
So two things help to get you started on the course of mindfulness and re-balancing. First is the attitude of gratitude and second is increasing your awareness and broadening your perspective. It doesn’t matter wich one you do first and both work together well.
For example, your child is having difficulty listening and he is distracted. When you point that out he gets angry and says you’re the problem. If you are already in that funk described above this is a great opportunity for a huge snag in your relationship with him. If you use your increased mindfulness about the situation you may discover that your child is tired or hungry and his distraction or ill-temper is a result of these biological deficiencies. Maybe you realize you are stressed by a big account at work so are pushing too hard or you are reactive.
Looking at the environment, the ground of what is around you helps to orient you to what actually needs to be addressed. Another insight might be that your child seems to have these problems at transitions, or at certain times of the day – orienting yourself to the possible patterns will help you to assess what adjustments you can make to have a smoother interaction and more positive connection with your child.
Okay what about the attitude of gratitude how does this apply? When you find yourself in a slump, or funk, or negative space, it isn’t that what you are observing is incorrect, it probably is correct.
It is the spin on the identified problem that is probably askew. Accepting the truth of what you are observing while centering it into the whole of your experience, or relationship is the key for returning to balance.
Let’s say you feel your partner is taking you for granted. You feel you are doing a lot to support the family, but it seems that there isn’t a lot of recognition for what you do. The attitude of gratitude can help by again, accepting your observation may be right while looking at what is really working about the relationship. Looking for where you are grateful. This concept is similar to the idea of being the change you wish to see in the world – be more grateful and you will experience not just the positive feeling of gratefulness but an increase in positive feedback form your partner.
Our inner feelings are deciphered through our perceptions. How you see the world, and your experiences is the lens through which you determine whether you are happy, connected, successful, and content.
This is the concept of the glass half full or half empty. Being in the attitude of gratitude allows you to balance your perspective; moving through figure and ground so standing in the center where you are able to see both aspects and integrate then to have an increase in centeredness in your approach in how you feel, experience, and act in the world around you, your environment.
Observing through, and having, this attitude of gratitude has very positive effects on helping your children and your close relations also shift into the center in their relationship with you, so that they may in turn act from a more centered place. This is an essential component of effective problem solving, knowing what is working is as important as knowing what isn’t. Both aspects inform the decision-making and solution process.
When you find yourself in a funk and you want to move to joy, or at least to center. Stop and pay attention to what you are observing and what is bothering you. Look at all aspects of the situation: yourself, other, and the environment. Listen to your inner awareness, and your intuition, and practice inverting the problem so that you see what is working too.
Then you will feel a shift in your perspective and you can respond in a more balanced and ultimately more joyous way.
See you tomorrow.