Building memories is a beautiful way to build a structure of who you are and what matters to you. What you choose to focus on to build the memory is often the defining element of how that structure will be experienced.
When you build your sense of self on the joyful experiences in your life then your foundation has its basis in joy. If you build your sense of self on the trauma or things you have survived then your foundation will be on struggle.
This is not a Pollyanna perspective it is basic engineering. The form takes the shape of the foundation.
To be successful and flexible it’s best to allow a balanced set of memories to be the foundation of your sense of self. To allow the picture of how you survived and the whole-ness of the gift of the struggle to be incorporated with the joy and successes in your life.
I like to talk about setting into memory a picture of what it feels, looks, smells, and sounds like when everything is perfect, and in place, in your life. Then you have a marker to go to, to remind you of the success you can create or experience.
This is like setting an imprint into your cerebral cortex so that you can re-create it in the future regardless of your situation – aligning what it feels like with what it looks like and the outcome so that you can access the feeling senses that go with success.
When I was a child, nine to fifteen years old, I was a competitive ice skater. I awoke at 4:30 to go skating before school and then went directly to the rink after school to practice more before dinner. I loved being on the ice. It was the most liberating experience. To this day, gliding across the ice brings me a sense of connection to the universe that I don’t feel anywhere else.
I had a wonderful coach who was kind and firm. Each time I learned a new jump or move I seemed to naturally get it right, landing gracefully and effortlessly. Then my ego and mind would get involved trying to repeat the event – what a tragedy.
It took me the longest time to learn that my being knew the way and I just had to get my head out of the way. The memory of how it felt right in my being and body was my best way to perfect my skill.
Memories serve a purpose in several ways.
First, to help us keep connections from past to future.
Second, to mark success and mistakes to allow for learning and integration of experiences; to remind us that we have the capacity to create joy and survive trauma and loss.
Third, to create a structure of who we are in the world and a pathway to success.
The sweetness of a memory can shift our perspective, provide us with strength and purpose, and remind us of the whole of who we are.
Take the time to consciously set into memory your successes, your joyful experiences, your remembrances of sweet interactions, and your capacity to move through transitions with transformation and learning. It will enrich your life and build a stable and flexible structure for your growth and well-being.
If it is difficult to keep these in your mind start out by writing them down in a special journal that you remove and peruse when you find your energy waning.
You will find that you are the best author of the beauty of your life if you give yourself a chance to write down these moments of perfection, these perfect moments of joy and experience.
They can be the best antidotes to anxiety and depression because they are perfectly aligned with your being, your needs and capacities, as they come from within your being.
See you tomorrow.