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Patience’ gift of space in responding

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I read an amazing quote from the Dalai Lama

One of the best ways to begin familiarizing ourselves with the virtue of patience is to reflect systematically on its benefits. It is the source of forgiveness. It has no equal in protecting our concern for others, however they behave towards us. When patience is combined with the ability to discriminate between the action and the one who does it, forgiveness arises naturally.

It really epitomizes the importance of space in relating.  Patience allows for one to stretch out one’s response, so that compassion, neutrality, and forgiveness can be incorporated.

Patience requires a sense of centeredness and it keeps you centered.

Some of the things that help to develop patience are related to developing space for a response and interaction.  Yoga or meditation, prayer, and exercise are ways to get a break from the situation so that you can view or re-view it with perspective.

Thinking things through before acting, keeping the big picture in mind (figure and ground), allows for a paradigm shift so that your response is more thorough and full.

Breathing, staying centered and focused, and recognizing how you are doing  physically – overworked, stressed emotionally or sleep or fuel deprived  – are ways to allow time and space before responding to the situation.

If you are out of sync in any of these areas it’s really difficult to center – and a lack of centeredness often results in a lack of patience.

When faced with a difficult situation apply patience to increase your space for responding –  you want to Stop, Look, and Listen before responding – giving yourself the space to respond fully and with compassion.

As soon as you notice that you’re being challenged to be patient – try to focus on what is actually happening, what may be going on for you – are you tired, frustrated or stressed; what may be going on for the other person – is she tired or stressed in some way.

After noticing and observing these aspects then pay attention to the sound of your voice or that of the other person is it angry or whinny.  Each are indicative of someone who is dealing with a conflict that they may be bringing to the situation. 

Incorporate this information into your response.

Focus on your breath – consciously try to focus in on your own breath.  Breathing connects you into the now and allows you to get into your center.  Take the time and space to Breathe deeply, remembering to breathe in for a shorter period of time than breathing out.

From that space, see what perspective you can attain about the situation – ask yourself in the scheme of things how important is this?  If you are focusing from the now, and not the past, future, or to get another’s approval, you can elevate your response to one of compassionate, forgiving, love and acceptance through patience.

Increasing your mindfulness and your centeredness allows patience and the space to take an action that is informed by the actual situation and this typically results in increased patience and increased mindfulness.

Practice allowing the gift of patience and space so that you can increase your mindful response to others.

See you tomorrow.


Author: instinctivehealthparenting4u

Author, Integrative medicine practitioner, psychotherapist. Albuquerque, NM practice, focus on return to balance and the integration of spirit, mind, and body through meditation and mindfulness. Monthly trainings, & professional and personal development coaching. Find more on my website Read my books, Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (, for increased internal wellness and alignment with your spiritual purpose, and to activate joyous love and light, bg

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