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Being wise is supposed to be connected to age.  The wise sage is usually depicted as past 50.  There are of course great spiritual icons that are younger and wise.

I think wisdom is connected to being able to see things from various perspectives – seeing the figure and ground simultaneously.  Wisdom is a function of mindful and responsive paradigm shifting, from what I have noticed a lack of attachment.

The lack of attachment to which I am referring has to do with not having an attachment to how the outcome looks, not having an underlying agenda about what it looks like.

This is key because how one evaluates various perspectives needs to be without bias.

Bias can have an effect on how we decide on choice a or choice b in decision-making.  As long as that is just preference and the two choices are equal then no problem, but when the bias is something that is related to an agenda or attachment – then there is a picture of equality when there is not an actual equality.  Under those conditions choices can be made that are a result of bias and not wise.

I think it got connected to age because youth has a tendency to be reactive rather than responsive.  But I have noticed very wise statements coming out of my six-year-old so I think it’s something else, the connection here is something about not being attached and being connected to spirit and the universe.

In the serenity prayer:

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Lately, I have been thinking about how courage and bravery aren’t about not being afraid.

And wisdom isn’t always about knowing everything but rather how you use the knowledge that you do have.

A friend commented that sometimes mind-emptiness is better than mind-fulness.

I suggest that sometimes to get to mindfulness one has to empty her mind – so that she can be neutral and present and focused on the an openness to figure and ground with a lack of attachment to the meaning so that the full meaning of the situation can reveal itself.

Historically I have viewed this as grace.

Wisdom and grace.

To get there requires practice at this willingness to withhold reaction and gather information and then respond after evaluation of the various figure/ground perspectives from an unattached, present moment, and neutral perspective.

I would say easier said then done – but it’s not even that easy to say….

These are characteristics that will allow for one to make enduring decisions that are wise.  It is useful to strive to attain and maintain these.

To get there requires practice, patience, a willingness to re-evaluate, and a striving to seek to understand before pushing to be understood.  It requires responding to what your emotion is trying to tell you about the situation rather than emotionally reacting.

Wisdom is the result of an integrative relationship between compassionate action and analysis.

Wisdom includes understanding your own as well as others’ biases and agendas and how these may interfere with one’s best choice in any given situation.

You can apply this to any important decision-making process.

I think it is paramount for best practices in parenting.

See you tomorrow.


Author: instinctivehealthparenting4u

Author, Integrative medicine practitioner, psychotherapist. Albuquerque, NM practice, focus on return to balance and the integration of spirit, mind, and body through meditation and mindfulness. Monthly trainings, & professional and personal development coaching. Find more on my website Read my books, Turning NO to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness, Turning ME to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness (, for increased internal wellness and alignment with your spiritual purpose, and to activate joyous love and light, bg

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