Parenting, healing, Cranial-sacral energy work, and relationship all have this one thing in common – Being with while guiding forward.
Cranial-sacral work is a type of energy work wherein the practitioner holds the client’s head and gently moves it back and forth to realign the natural flow of energy from the cranium to the sacrum. Practitioners of this type of energy work state they both follow and lead the energy.
This seems contradictory in nature but if you think about it we do it every day in other arenas. It’s a function of staying mindful, and focusing on the present moment, with individual responses to input stimuli, and making adjustments to our actions.
Think about driving on the freeway. You have a plan and you pick a lane but you also have to go with the flow of the traffic both in terms of how you move forward and what speed you travel as well as whether you continue on your path or make an immediate decision to change the course you chose based on the blockage of flow due to an accident, or emergency vehicles.
Healers and management consultants have a similar situation. They have a plan and goal based on the information requested/provided by their client. Then as new information presents itself the facilitator may need to go a different route to get to the identified goal – or the goal itself may be dramatically changed based on the circumstances.
The process of psychotherapy itself is much like this – both following the flow of energy as well as directing the client to reveal and investigate different aspects of the situation through mindfulness and paradigm shifting to come to a new understanding and or style of being in the world.
Parenting is this action of Being with while guiding forward on a minute by minute basis both in meta– and micro terms – big and small issues. Meta issues being things like how the child sees himself, moral development, and socialization. Micro issues being things like getting dressed, going to school, doing homework, and getting along with friends.
From this perspective parenting is the most powerful kind of energy work – responding in a moment to moment basis with mindfulness and recognition of figure/ground issues to the realities, daily requirements, mood, and unconscious of the child.
Parents need to have a mindful approach to their children to be able to both identify the flow of the situation as well as guide the flow in a direction that is most beneficial.
Think about this from the perspective of de-escalation. If your child is sleep deprived or feeling sick she may have a tendency to react negatively to any push to move forward toward going to an activity that is less preferred.
Paying attention to cues from your child really help to identify blocks in energy or flow. Vocalizations like whining especially if the child tends to be easy-going is a cue that something is off and needs attention. Also moving slowly, not at their typical fast pace is another cue that the child needs attention. Silence is another type of cue especially with a child who tends to be active, talkative and social in nature.
Using the Stop, look, and listen technique is a great way to gather information quickly and respond quickly. When one is mindful and knows her child she can better utilize cues from her child to identify blocks in the energy flow.
Being mindful and reading the flow of energy – your child’s mood and behavior – allows a parent to use responses that both validate the emotion/feeling while guiding the child forward toward the required activity.
If you are a manager you can utilize these techniques and concepts to better manage and supervise those individuals under your care. You can look for complaining, delay and excuses to identify where there may be problems. This is especially true when you are interacting with someone who overall does not have these kinds of behaviors as a general course.
Mindfulness applied in this way to one’s everyday life can increase your connection to others and sense of real power in your own environment – it increases one’s and others’ empowerment.
Being with while guiding forward is a beautiful concept of how to be interacting in an empowered and respectful way in your environment.
See you tomorrow.
August 27, 2010 at 7:09 am
“Practitioners of this type of energy work state they both follow and lead the energy.”
I think of this as dancing with the patient.