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March 9, 2013
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trust yourself, or If you meet the buddha on the road kill him!

Hello and welcome

Trusting yourself is not only believing in yourself it is also listening to your intuition and sense impressions and acting with a sense of internal power. A common way you diminish self-trust is when you dismiss your inner knowing and listen to another’s interpretation to get approval. This is a risk in any student role.

In therapy, there is a saying that if you say I already worked that out or I already resolved that conflict you are possibly tricking yourself. It’s a sign of resistance, especially when said adamantly or defensively.

The key is to discern if your resistance to an interpretation is due to a true inner sense of truth or a deflection of the truth.

pay attention to your own charge (degree of intensity) regarding the issue, and level of repulsion to the idea
–> if you speak reactively, in an adamant, dismissive style it is likely that you are hiding the truth
–> if you are responding in a neutral style regarding how it just doesn’t feel right and you evaluate the information, then the other may be projecting onto you something through her interpretation.
listen in an interested, curious, unattached, mindful way to your teacher’s guidance
pay attention to his or her congruence in speech, action, and countenance
Be careful to not give away your power due to the other’s reputation or standing in a group – in other words don’t make your teacher into a guru – we are all walking through life with lessons to learn – when you give your power away to a guru, you interrupt your own energy flow toward your own lessons, gifts and path

I wrote a bit about this last year in this post http://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2012/04/09/truth-within-inner-guidance-i/. I was reminded of this thesis over the weekend while attending an intensive Yoga workshop. Many of the participants were my teachers, whom I respect deeply. I love Yoga, and although I am a Yoga-neophite, I had decided the best way to learn was to stretch-myself (no pun intended) and do my best. The focus of the first day was to work on inversions and transitions between poses; focusing on the importance of transitioning into a pose not just the pose itself. I loved the idea behind it as it allowed for seeing the divine in the space between, something I am drawn to experience daily. I was grateful to pair up with my favorite teachers and found that my willingness to let go, play with the work, and surrender led me to a powerful shift in my practice.

On the second day, the focus of the work was to elucidate how, when, and where you feel blocked in a yoga pose, to surrender to the block, and allow a break-through. The poses that were being utilized to enlighten each of us were bent inversions so that arching, opening the heart chakra and pelvic space and lengthening the spine were paramount. Flexibility in your hips and shoulders are important to get a good back-bend; they are also the spaces in your body where you collect and hold hidden trauma both physical and emotional. This style of workshop offered a perfect opportunity to work-through an energy-holding leftover from earlier traumas, as long as the guest teacher could also provide a set of tools and a trusting space fo release.

Our guest teacher identified at the beginning of the workshop that she had not previously taught this particular workshop and stated in her opening mantra that it was important to not interfere with another’s lesson by showing them how to work through their blocks. Her remarks were incongruent with the presentation she provided on her website and the description of the class goals. As I sat preparing to risk and surrender to the lesson, two things stood out in my sense impressions: one, she was in a position of guide, yet identified at the onset that she was against guiding through blocks; and two, although she had an excellent reputation, this class was unexplored territory.

We worked through many different exercises to open shoulders and hips – paramount for backbends. The pace was quick and often we broke up into dyad partners to work on our assignments. This increased the opportunity for intimacy yet reduced a chance for clarification and guidance from the guest teacher. We felt at times like the blind leading the blind.

After much headstand and handstand practice, the guest teacher decided to use me as an example of how to assist your partner through what my gymnast-daughter calls a ticktock, and in Yoga is called Scorpion Vchikasana. For non-yogis it’s a handstand and then with great control you bend your legs over your head so your feet touch your crown.

This is a pretty awesome and advanced Yoga position.

I was excited to experience what it felt like to get into the position; I knew that once there I could create a body memory so that when I practiced on my own I could correct it with clarity. I enthusiastically kicked up into a bent arm handstand, anticipating her to catch my leg and move me over into the bent inversion. Instead I heard a laugh among the participants as she grabbed it forcefully and rotated it inward, this jarring maneuver caused me to lose my focus and I fell right back down. My enthusiasm dropped. She said kick up again. I did, albeit more cautiously this time. Hopefully, I waited for her to gently move me over into a backbend, she did not, I held until I couldn’t any longer, fell down and kicked up again, waited, kicked up again, attempting on my own to shift the weight of my hips over my chest, and feeling a bit confused I fell back down. She said kick up again, come on. I stopped and looked up at her. I was confused as to why she was not demonstrating moving me over into the backbend. She looked at me and said what’s ging on? What are you feeling? I said I feel weak. She said well you are stopping yourself and referenced the cause as my inner negative dialogue. She said do it again. I dutifully reset myself and I slowly and perseveringly moved my leg up into a handstand: first one leg and then drawing my other leg to the handstand trying to stack my hips over my ribcage, still expecting her to assist moving me into position, I kept waiting for her to gently move me up into position and then stand in front to move me into the scorpion position….but nothing….dead space, my arms and legs over-worked…I came back down onto my mat, flat.

She moved away to the front of class, never having actually demonstrated moving me into position, and then looked back at me sideways and said, you are strong enough to do it, you are fighting yourself, you need to change your inner dialogue.

I felt a familiar conglomeration of disappointment, vulnerability, defeat, and confusion. Somehow I had been triggered. I felt a combination of having been tricked by her and an inability to stand up for myself and realign internally with my strength. How had I given my power to this guest teacher? I felt shamed by her in front of the class.

This was a powerful moment for me to deduce the etiology of my holding and my fear.

I had not heard any negative self-talk. I searched inside myself, what am I hiding from myself? What I noticed was a defense mechanism of holding and protection that increased the more I interacted with this guest teacher. What was that about? . In my head I was trying to make sense of what had happened and what to do next. Was she doing this on purpose to help me move through my block or was her action more sadistic and so recreating an earlier trauma that my personal intention for the class posed as an opportunity for release?

After reflection, and discussion with other students in the class, some of whom were new to me, my concerns about the negativity of the situation from the guest teacher were corroborated. Their observations were consistent with what I observed and felt. Her actions exacerbated my hold and blocking rather than assisted me to move through the physical block. This is the opposite of how the workshop was billed. I had a funny feeling from her, as if she was not really there, not really centered on the role of being a facilitator but rather focused on being an exhibitionist. Although some of my teacher-friends really liked her others later identified a similar set of concerns.

My holding was indeed an aspect of my trusting myself; my body clearly ‘heard’ that this teacher was not trustworthy, so surrender was unsafe at that time -> this was the me fighting myself –> I was trying and I was stopping myself. My mind was directing the trying and my body was directing the stopping. My ‘block’ or resistance was a holding within my body in response to her passive hostility. This holding did not develop in response to her. It pre-dated the workshop as a survival mechanism from previous trauma; it was indeed the thing I took to the workshop to work-through.

This guest yoga teacher had designed a class to learn how to work-through holding and physical blocks without understanding a fundamental component needed to complete the task; to surrender and allow – Trust is required. In order for a teacher to encourage a shift in holding within her student her presentation has to include a lack of aggressivity, and a consciousness of beneficence; she need not be a cheerleader but rather have an unattached spirit of generosity. This renowned guest yoga teacher gave mixed messages though her words and actions which created a lack of trust needed, thus she had set up a class wherein re-traumatization could and would occur.

The choice to shift and uplevel lies solely in the power of the individual. Trusting yourself, surrendering to your truth includes paying attention to when resistance is beneficial and a positive communication from your personal sensory guidance system. Timing to uplevel matters, allow it to be guided from within(yourself), rather than without (another).

Sheldon Kopp wrote: No meaning that comes from outside of ourselves is real. The Buddhahood of each of us has already been obtained. We need only recognize it – Thus the Zen Master warns his disciple: - If you meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill him! (Kopp, 1976).

Creating a guru of another limits your and his power so that neither of you are allowed to uplevel into your most conscious selves. Namaste, in love and light, bg

Kopp, Sheldon, If you meet the Buddha on the Road,Kill Him. Bantam Books: New york, New York: 1976.

January 5, 2013
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

12.21.12 renewal and transformation, Taoism, and the Avatamsaka-sutra

Hello dear friends.

I have been doing some research on Taoist principles for a new book and I have found some amazing, powerfully enlightening information.

Taoism perceives that the originators of civilization itself are people of higher knowledge attained through extradimensional awareness … all successful original cultures are initiated and guided by people in contact with the Tao or Universal law. Thomas Cleary

It is Cleary’s contention that from this Taoist vision, “Taoism is not, as usually thought, a product of Chinese civilization. Rather it is the other way about – Chinese civilization was originally the product of Taoism in the sense that like all successful original cultures it was initiated and guided by people in contact with the Tao or universal law.“(The Book of Balance and Harmony, Cleary, 1989) What a powerful concept and a perfect focus for renewal and transformation.

Thomas Cleary in his book of the translation of The Book of Balance and Harmony (1989) identifies that the Taoist movement called the Complete Reality movement was created to distinguish a practical understanding of Taoism as it had been lost over time. Cleary writes that ” ironically, one of the most comprehensive descriptions of Taoism … can be found in a Buddhist text, the Avatamsaka-sutra or Flower Ornament Scripture,” which he said is “held to contain the totality of all religion:”

The various methods and techniques of the enlightened adept to worldly conditions in order to liberate people. The enlightened provoke deep faith by being in the world yet unaffected by it, just as the lotus grows in water yet water does not adhere to the lotus.

With extraordinary thoughts and profound talent, as cultural leaders, like magicians the enlightened manifest all the various arts and crafts of the world, like song and dance, and conversation admired by the people.

Some become grandees, city elders; some become merchants, caravan leaders. Some become physicians and scientists, some become kings and officials….. All-sided goodness abides by reality, not in a country. Cleary, The Flower Ornament Scripture

What I love about this is how it gives a prescription for how to live in these times.

It is about how to trust your inner knowing, your internal guidance sensory system and connect to a higher wisdom and light so that you can identify and act from a universal law or truth rather than propaganda or third dimensional pulls toward power over others to feel successful.

The ebb and flow of nature and the return to balance is the way. Living in that way, guiding your actions to be in connection to that is the highest form of instinctive medicine, balance, and harmony.

Focus on what is and the light allows that to be what is produced or created, rather than a disconnection from self, an embracement of self in harmony.

One way to find your way back to balance is to pay attention to where you feel discomfort and that can give you a clue to where you are out of balance.
You may also feel, hear as another speaks or the world shifts to attend to a lack of congruence or harmony. This is the best way to avoid following propaganda rather than the truth.

Trusting yourself, your internal sensory guidance system includes intuition and connection to extradimensional experience through mediation, visualization, and dreamwork.

Let love and your heart center be your primary, strongest guide. Through this pathway you may find renewal and transformation in this new time of higher light and higher consciousness.in love and light bg

December 10, 2012
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

Heart centered listening

Hello and Welcome!

One of my dear friends has been teaching channeling for over 25 years, Betsy-Morgan at askbetsymorgan.com. She is remarkable in her focus and lovingkindness. Channeling is a challenging concept. My friend Elene Gusch, DOM has been writing about her powerful experiences in this arena for many years, elenedom.wordpress.com. What is challenging about the idea of channeling is that it requires a fourth or fifth dimensional consciousness to fully embrace and conceptualize but we live in a three-dimensional world. Seeing in 4-D. This makes it so that you must have faith in what you experience if you are receiving a channeling and you must have faith in the channel if you are a listener or reader of this information. Fourth dimensional understanding incorporates the idea that time is a relative or transitional concept this is further extended in fifth dimensional understanding. My favorite popularization of fifth dimensional seeing is in the Men in Black 3 movie, MIB 3, 2012, in it there is a character Griffin who is a fifth dimensional being and he has the ability to see the multitude of possibilities of lifetimes that are in existence at any moment. It is well written and does a nice job of exemplifying the fifth dimensional concept of choice, interconnections, and phenomenology. And he focuses on truth being of the utmost importance, inner truth including intent and connection. Perception of Time and Mindfulness.

When an individual channels or receives a channeled interpretation that information is a truth, it is a possible outcome to a set of circumstances with which the person is dealing. It is not the only outcome although there is a statistic component to how the information is interpreted.

The way through is through love and your internal centeredness in your heart. This fits perfectly with all the various spiritual traditions that love is the way to truth, and access to this is through your heart. Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again. Joseph Campbell.

Returning again and again to your intuition, your heart center, your breath with serve you superbly well to find you way in the world. Even if you do not begin to receive channeled information from another spiritual source you will be guided by your heart knowing as to your best action.

just listen, by beth gineris

We are given these senses, Which we ignore.

We cringe upon meeting another, Feeling something negative in their field,

Rather than listening, We become friends, Only to be deceived, and hurt.

We have these senses, Instinctive,

To assist us on our journey through life, Cueing and guiding us.

Yet we ignore, Using override, our analytical emotional Mind, to direct us.

Our mind errs, tricked by stories, Through habit and automation,

Through the lens of our historical experiences, our indoctrination.

Our senses are true, Instinctive.

These six senses, Our earliest tools, before language,Guide us through sensations that are connected to knowings.

Denying their guidance

Blocks our capacity, Blocks our ease in movement, through the minefield of life.

Listen – Feel – Be – Know.

Allow your internal sensory system to guide you, and you, will know bliss.

Mind is always looking for the conflict, the argument,

The proof. The condemnation.

Our senses just report,

Neutral, real, unsullied information, Guidance, go here not there, turn left, look.

It’s all right there, At the beginning,   In the first meeting,

The first, interaction. The first blink of your eye, The entire story presented, Moral, and all.

Don’t look for proof

Accept and act. Let your heart lead. Your heart knows. Return to your inner guide. Your heart knows, hears the notes, Perfect and true.

Let your mind follow your heart-knowing. The instinct that aligns us to spirit Connects us to the symphony of life.

Use your mind to create what your heart wants.

You will hear your song melodious. Toning in perfect pitch,

Humming through you, Vibrating pure joy. copyright, all rights reserved, no copy without permission from bgineris, 2012

Inner Sight Revealed, by beth gineris

Signposts of solace, Within the massive chaos of inner sight. Bombarding visions and feel-knowings at once.

Self lost, Understanding short-circuited, Caught like a doe in the headlights of an oncoming car, Frozen, Fear rising, interrupting discernment.

Distant image of streams layered, Streams of knowings, Streams of consciousness. Layers at once, jam the transmission,   The information garbled and incoherent.

Focus on the flow, Ocean currents in opposite directions, Layered but distinct, Distinguishing tenor, energy, quality.   Each descriptive system whole, Connected within space-time, Separated but Equal.

Breath and allowing are the friends to sight. Fear, and holding, inner sight’s enemy. Swimming through, Balancing, Viewing from within. Clarifying with subtle refinement. Perception of distinct boundaries in each layer, Each stream of consciousness.

Discernment, clear sight revealed, Requires subtleness, Light handedness. Rising sheers define the boundaries. Lightly drilling in to each, Gathering definition, and information. Seeing many at once, Gently bringing into the fore, one stream, Allowing it to recede, while another advances. Lightly Receiving. Accepting the shift without a need to name or push it.

Inner sight is instinctive, Whole, Available to anyone, who allows. Bounded between each stream, And between the seer and the stream, Centered source illumination. copyright, all rights reserved, no copy without permission from bgineris, 2012

Go into your heart, feel love, apply love to whatever situation with which you are struggling and your truth, your answer, will present itself in a quiet clear voice, listen with your heart and then apply your mind to create what your heart hears… Namaste, bg

August 29, 2012
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

5 steps to Healing psychological Wounds

Hello and Welcome!

Injuries heal through a set of layers and this occurs most fully and rapidly through these five steps. The most important step being cleaning out the deterrents to healing.

Here using a focus on physical wounds:

Evaluation of severity, depth, breadth, need for sutures, casting and bandaging.
Cleaning the wound of fragments, foreign objects, dirt, and deterrents to healing – debridement.
Careful observation and compassionate tending to the healing progress of the wound.
Re-evaluation of the development in healing, re-cleaning, debridement, re-dressing the wound.
A loving compassionate reintroduction of the use of the wounded area to avoid re-injury or trauma

The course for wound healing seems to take one of two branches. One branch leads to further, deeper injury through infection and invasion into deeper systems. The other offers a fuller evaluation at the fore to prevent a deeper infestation.

It is seductive to follow the first branch described – it is less work at the beginning and looks as if healing happens more quickly. However this route results in a quick fix. The rapid scabbing process covers a deeper problem that can result in an underlying infection and a resulting scar that stares-out at each person who passes, almost calling the passers-by to comment, and in some cases re-injuring the person.

The second route is more intensive at the front-end, however, once through the difficult evaluation and debridement process, and with proper attention to the complete healing process, this route results in an almost imperceptible scar.

Wound healing takes this same branched course for physical and psychological scars.

For psychological wounds forgiveness is an intricate component of the healing process. The forgiveness has to be sincere, real, felt deeply, and thoroughly experienced. From that whole-space, forgiveness can create an inner healing that results in an imperceptible scar.

and 2. are interrelated for psychological injuries. This is to say the process of evaluation of the injury, and the debridement work together – debridement is the process of removing foreign material and dead tissue from a physical wound to prevent infection and promote healing – debridement, then, with respect to a psychological wound requires mindfully releasing anger, vengefulness, and hate – and utilizes compassion, lovingkindness, and forgiveness.

A short-cut through the forgiveness stage results in an incomplete healing, a superficial covering. This is when an individual chooses to transect the process without looking mindfully at the wounding experience. This is a false covering-over, which allows for infection – underneath a festering will develop at an unconscious or conscious level which will interfere with a full healing of the wound. This may result in deeper injury to spirit, mind and body or ultimately burst open in rage, shame and vengefulness, creating a crater of a scar that is seen in all your relationships.

If you use the tangible concept of a physical wound to guide you,

you can see the first thing required is to clean the wound…get out the dirt, the left over shards so that the wound is ready to create a healing scab. This washing process can sting, be painful, sharp, or uncomfortable.

From a psychological wound perspective the first step is the same,

clean out the wound, remove shards, that are going to impede healing or increase a chance for infection – this requires compassionate understanding and forgiveness, mindfulness, and paradigm shifting. Wounds are often a result of a lack of understanding, a lack of restraint, or a placement of trust toward an untrustworthy person. Going within to do the inner work required for this can be hurtful, sharp, or uncomfortable just like washing out a cut stings.

Forgiveness is tricky when you perceive that forgiveness makes the action that was harmful “okay”. The trick to forgiveness is shifting paradigmatic perceptions and righting your own power in a given situation. Forgiveness is letting go of the power the wounding has over you while simultaneously identifying what was harmful and what to avoid in the future – including the relationship or event in which the wounding occurred.

A common style of dealing with hurts is to remove yourself from the profound feelings that are attached to the pain you endured. This keeps you stuck in the past. This disallows forgiveness or creates unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness leads to a diminishing of your personal power, a rigid world-view, and a truncated personality in relationship. It leads to the opposite of mindfulness and the opposite of empowerment.

In order to forgive, that pain must be felt
and then a resolution, an understanding, a paradigm shift needs to take place to allow the unlinking of the pain of the event; the event and the actor; and the outcome of the event
so that it can be put into proper perspective and into your past,
freeing you to move on into the present moment of your life – a new stance in the world, strengthened via the complete healing of the wound.

To forgive another a deeply painful act, betrayal, or action is difficult. To see, and accept responsibility for, how you have hurt another is also difficult.

Choosing to face this difficult task will allow for a real shift to take place, a full and complete healing that leaves an imperceptible scar, the mindful/spirit-filled inner search (evaluation and debridement) is paramount. This action can result in transforming events, healing your wound and transforming your relationships.

How do you forgive someone for that act which in your mind changed you forever, that betrayed your trust or your sense of innocence?

Finding forgiveness requires grace. It requires a willingness to let go of the thing that may define your stance in the world. It is fraught with deep feeling and an inner journey to your center. Certainly paradigm shifting, figure/ground perspective, and the attitude of gratitude are helpful activities. This set of actions is required to fully heal a psychological wound.

Mindfulness allows you to see a way to unlink the act and the person; the act and the circumstances surrounding the act; and the intention and the action. And from this space forgiveness is possible and profoundly healing.

Severe wounds are difficult betrayals and experiences to transcend, difficult to get to forgiveness even with these unlinkings, increased awareness and increased perspective. The process of debridement is most useful in this situation.

Healing your psychological wounds requires loving attention and compassion first toward yourself and then toward the cause of the wound. Not unlike the treatment of a physical wound what matters is the healing of the injury and then release of anger, and vengefulness toward the cause of the wound.

Healing is me-first. Not narcissistic or selfish but inner directed, looking inward to promote inner healing and release of the power of the wound over your future life choices. This is true for physical and psychological wounds. Allowing an injury to define you sets power where it does not belong. Set your empowerment within, release the material that interferes with your full and complete healing so that the injury itself becomes imperceptible.in love and light, beth

July 1, 2012
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

Collaboration, coolness, and the evolution of consciousness

Hello and Welcome! In Hippies, Hipsters and Hypnotic distortion, blog 6.11.12 two important tips were discussed in assisting your children by instilling your values and maintaining open communication lines, the third tip is to consider how dynamic society is. This means that as generations grow they effect change and are faced with different issues to tackle and work through then those previous. So movement forward will be a multilevel combination of values, expectation, experience, opportunity, and survival/thriving requirements.

Because of the growing global interconnections of society, even basic ideas of how to proceed may require an internal focus within yourself, and your child’s environment, to uplevel consciousness away from the concept of competition for limited resources to a form of collaboration and movement through issues with a win-win perspective.

A shift toward collaboration isn’t taking something from the one who has it and giving it to the one who doesn’t but rather seeing our whole community as one world and each person finding his or her place within the teamwork and framework of collaboration and then working together to actually create equality and equity from an internally focused and guided collective of truth.

The next level of consciousness includes a re-invention of how Cool, and Hip are developed in society – a shift to placing this identification solidly within the quadrants of what is valuable and valued – away from marketing propaganda, focus on materialistic, money and fame, away from the movie-star, rock-star, politician cool – to something that will increase the opportunity for your child to create prosperity that is based in an integration of spirit, mind, and body - rather than limited resources and winning the game.

This would shift the form and idea of coolness away from ways to be in opposition from the previous generation or others to form and ideas of ways to be in sync – health, kindness, compassion, understanding, doing the right thing rather than getting away with something. Actually living congruently, growing our communities organically not just with natural resources shared but with collaborative intention and attention to all aspects of our community. Children would be the center not in the narcissistic, permissive style of earlier generations but in the solid growth promoting way of creating strength and stability through dependability, interdependence and trust.

For the continuation of our planet and community, mothering and parenting deserve a higher spot on the value ladder and a more valued place in the life of an adult. Caring, acting in a compassionate manner, forgiving and understanding through compassion – eating healthfully, exercising mind, body and spirit in a holistic fashion all ways in which the human race can increase longevity , uplevel consciousness, and work toward utilizing natural resources more efficiently and effectively.

These things have to shift - Escaping in alcohol, drugs, sex not connected to the whole human being, lack of self-care, and being taken care of , and a lack of moving through the whole life cycle and relationship interchange (or pushing children into the roles of parents and sexual objects.) These behaviors need to be extinguished through a natural internal understanding that they are not productive and not in line with what is cool.

Right now an example of what is being encouraged through the hip movement is by the time a girl is in fourth grade she is talking about sex and wearing overtly sexual clothing, – music is about sex, drugs, and crime, grabbing power however you can; the goals of young people are to be like movie stars, make money quick and buy, buy, buy.

There isn’t a sense of what is my best skill or talent – what am I here to do; – spirituality and especially the Judeo-Christian religion is out and uncool. Doing the right thing is seen as weak. Being kind = weak. Doing drugs, getting high, drinking too much = cool. Getting in trouble with the law = cool. This pressure to be part of the group is inherent in the human psyche – to create being part of the group as damaging to yourself and unfocused with a lack of spirituality is to deny two parts of the human condition, mind and spirit to be left with only one part guiding human action body through pleasure and pain.

We need a new vision, a new set of goals, new air to breathe and definitely a new generation to lead us out of the sixties and into a new collaborative, loving, powerful strong consciousness of health and sustainability. Change, leaning forward, and evolution are all important foci for the future but the definitions must include integration of spirit, mind and body if we are to have a society that survives and thrives.

I am really excited to see how this unfolds. We are on the brink of creating something truly beautiful – especially if we all work together in love with mindfulness, and with compassion, and an eye to collaboration. in love and light, namaste, beth

June 27, 2012
by instinctivehealthparenting4u Leave a comment

Change and the attitude of adventure

Hello and Welcome! When on a quest for change, consider having the attitude of adventure. This allows you to be open to the many possibilities that can unfold, spontaneous and flexible in your responses, and attentive in the present moment.

Adventure is a mixture of heart-pounding excitement, gentle strength, cautious speed, energy, and breath. The most effective tools are honoring your self, loving yourself, and forgiving yourself. This is true with any kind of growth and is a great way to stay centered when going through change.

Self first, not in a selfish way but rather, in an honoring way. Whatever is starts at home. Forgiveness, love, change, creation, letting go, and acceptance. These are all actions that have the strongest effect within. It is through the process of forgiving yourself, you can forgive others, the process of loving yourself that you can fully develop a loving relationship with another. It is in the process of accepting yourself precisely where you are that you can then shift, let go, and change.

This is how boundaries work. Boundaries create a definition. This is me and this is you – through knowing and defining, you can then drop into a sense of oneness, but it is in definition first, you create the space for a true acceptance of one. This definition is dynamic. As time moves, and we shift, we change, and the definition changes. So flowing through the process of change begins with this idea of gentleness, self-love which can be increased and accessed through breath and strength, a sense of knowing where the edges are, feeling them, acknowledging them, and then using them to guide your movement, your process. This too is accessed and increased through breath.

What is, is. Acceptance of this is the first step to changing and transforming; flexibly moving what is – into what you define or desire it is. Acceptance is a gentle and strong emotion and action. It is flexible and flowing in nature, like bamboo in wind.

Part of self-love is self knowing and acceptance; accepting responsibility for limitations, and obstructions you have created through fear or protection, to take care of yourself.

Once you allow yourself to see your story, how you came to be who you are, then you can decide to write and create changes in your character so that your actions and being are more in sync with your internal, congruent self. This happens most easily through a lovingly kind attitude toward yourself and your habit or limitations.

Smile, Laugh – First smiling at yourself and your creation, maybe even laughing at your self with love and tenderness; this energy allows you to shake loose the fear or protective energy and instigates a breaking-open, crackling, and letting go of restriction.

As the part of you that is not a true representation of what is within falls away you may experience a sense of vulnerability of not being covered – breathe into this and set your attention and intention into your heart center – from there you will experience a lightening, a sensation of life bubbling up – maybe a happy, giggling, burpy laugh or smile – a recognition of your true self - seen.

What an adventure in joy; risky, a sense of danger and a sheer experience of loving bliss – all at once. By simply applying an attitude of adventure to your quest for change and development you may get precisely what you desire.

in giggling, burpy joy, I wish for you a lovely adventure, beth

June 11, 2012
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 2 Comments

Hippies, Hipsters, and Hypnotic distortion

Hello! One of the challenging aspects of parenting is to stay abreast of the newest, hip new thing. It allows you to use the information to connect, educate, and understand your child’s set of issues for development.

This becomes more difficult as you age because either you think the hip new thing is stupid or you don’t actually know what it is.

So my first tip is to look for it; you can find it in the popular dress, music, books, television and movies. What is a bit tricky is that it may not be obvious, it may be slightly hidden – words and phrases may not mean what you think so you have to investigate and use your listening and intuitive skills. This is especially important when the lyrics of your child’s favorite song doesn’t make sense to you – you can ban him from listening to it – but it’s more useful and effective to get a handle on what is out there so you can discuss it with your child and at least get your “spin” on the whole thing into his brain and heart so he can make better, informed decisions.

The second tip is that due to the serious marketing population of our children, at least in the United States, there is a whole level of what is “cool” that is just propaganda and it is infused with information that is written by people way older than your child, so make an effort to look underneath the generally acceptable story to what may be a skew of energy.

You have to figure out how to manage the effect of propaganda on your child. And this issue of what is popular in their environment is key.

The best way to manage propaganda is to go to its source and to have a way of giving a fuller, broader and more in-depth, bigger picture – this teaches mindfulness and can help your child in learning how to develop his critical thinking skills. Through this development he can find a way to see through propaganda and make decisions that best serve his real needs throughout the course of his life.

Since it is part of child development for children, teenagers and young adults to be attracted to what is popular and hip in order to fit in and find their place in the world, then depending on your child’s age he is also going to be working though different periods of fusion and independence with and from you, his parent. It is through this process of fusion and opposition that your child discovers his unique perspective and position in the world. That perspective is going to be his unique experience of biography, experience, and temperament. Of course a typical goal of a parent is to guide his child toward a perspective that closely aligns with his own perspective.

The key to having a voice that is heard by your child is to maintain an honest, open communication pathway. This includes discussion and presentation of how and why you see the world as you do, what other opinions are “out there” and what you would like to pass on to your child. You want to do this with an openness to how you and your child may be different in - biography, experience, and temperament. When you are out of sync in one of these areas you can share your perspective but may find a dissonance in how your child views the world. In order to maintain that open communication pathway you need to be open to the possibility that your child may at least, go through periods of disagreement and opposition to your perspective and at most, choose to live quite differently from you, and impart a perspective that this is his choice.

This issue is central to why it is important to teach critical thinking skills early your child’s development.

Hippies was a negative term applied to youth in the sixties generation. Although it has mixed connotations both positive and negative, at the time, it distanced the youth from their parents.. Hipsters was a term in the forties for young people connected to the then new musical movement of jazz – it was a fonder term. It was later revived, in the late nineties and early 2000s, a later, more positive term, to refer to a group that aligns with retro clothing, independent music, and innovative style. And hypnotic distortion is the way in which pop culture can lull the youth into propaganda that distorts their true options and sets up an intangible thread of control over youth for marketing and materialistic reasons – regardless of the overlay of hipness.

Discover what is hip. Find a way to connect to it and to your child. Distill information that assists you and your child in determining whether propaganda is at the base of the hip, cool, thing. Stay connected to your inner guidance and teach ways for your child to remain connected to his true source. Then he can wear the cool clothes, dance the hip dance, and sing the latest songs while remaining connected to what truly matters within.

Maintain a clear voice and assist your child in finding his voice. Sometimes this leads to your child setting his own trends and finding his way, hip, while not hypnotic or distorted. All you need is love – that begins with self-love. Offered in love and light, Beth

May 28, 2012
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 2 Comments

How to stay centered and the use of Yoga

Hello and Welcome! Staying centered is remaining balanced. Balanced within your own sphere as well as balanced in your interactions and community. Centeredness and balance infer a collaborative and open response to internal sensations and external expectations.

When you are pulled in one direction or the other this can have the effect of destabilizing you internally as well as you within your environment. It can then skew your energy and focus onto a path that is not in your best interest.

The best way to stay centered is to maintain an internal awareness of your senses. Paying attention to how you feel in each of your internal centers will assist you in staying centered. You may use you internal sensory guidance system – your five plus one senses – to remain centered. The use of mindfulness and paradigm shifting are of great benefit in developing your relationship to your internal guidance system especially through paying attention and neutral observation of your sensory guidance system responses.

One way to develop this relationship to your centers is through the practice of Yoga. This is because you will have the opportunity to connect breath, with the integration of physical body positions and energetic spiritual centers.

In the Yogic tradition there are bandha that need to remain closed or locked as you do various positions to assist in building physical strength and maintain the pose for clarification. These bandha correspond with certain energy centers in your body called chakras. What is useful for the musculature is related to the emotional component of the center – one is at the root chakra and is referred to a kegel closure – the root chakra relates to survival and may connect to issues of fear. The next important bandha that is discussed is the belly button area – holding this bandha closed is described as pressing the belly button to the spine – this is related to the second chakra which deals with creativity of all types including sexuality and procreation. The third bandha that is discussed is described as holding the chin to the chest – this has a dual effect of closing off the throat chakra while opening further the chakra at the third-eye or the brow chakra which relates to inner vision and intuition. By closing off these centers while holding the Yoga positions the practitioner is strengthening the flow of energy within his centers so that the energy doesn’t dissipate. This results in strengthening the muscles and the physical core of the practitioner as well as the energetic flow of internal connection between these centers. This is how an intentional Yoga practice can assist in the strengthening of a practitioner’s sense of being, and remaining, centered.

Any focused attention with breath to your inner sensory guidance system will produce an increase in your awareness about what and how you are feeling, and responding, in any given situation and can provide guidance about what action is in your best interest which includes a choice to not act from an intentional place.

Centering your self is simply paying attention to, observation of, gathering information from, your internal sensory guidance system (your five senses plus one, intuition) and responding from a place of compassion, love, and neutrality to that internally connected information.

Remember that centered sensory guidance information is in general a calm, and charge-free instinct and results in a sense that something is the best response – rather than a loud, pushing-through-to -the-fore, anxiety-filled, reactive response.

Simple focused breathing for 30 seconds to 3 minutes can increase your capacity for mindfulness and can re-center you.

Longer focused, breathing meditation for 15 - 30 minutes can increase your centering-practice even further and allow you a space to reconnect to your inner self and inner center, this has a lovely additional effect of reducing your blood pressure and reducing your sense of anxiety by bringing your fully into the present moment.

A focused intentional Yoga practice can also encourage you to develop a deeper centering practice. For more information check out this article on Yogi Times, connecting spirit mind and body through Yoga.

Any activity that is present moment focused with love and breath will increase your capacity for centering, praying meditation, walking, running, singing, and dancing all have the components for increasing or deepening your integrated spirit, mind, and body connection.

Staying centered increases self-knowledge, self-love, strength, and right-action. In love and light, Beth

May 22, 2012
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 1 Comment

Hearing and Listening in Relationships

Hello and Welcome ! The foundational work of relationship is to maintain a connection and alignment with self while simultaneously connecting with your partner. It requires a thorough understanding of yourself to do this. You have to have a sense of what matters to you, your goals, your talents, and your limitations so that you can negotiate the common ground of the relationship or partnership with your partner.

This is harder to accomplish than your may think because humans have a tendency to hide information from themselves or distort truth in order to feel accepted or to feel approval or fit in to their chosen group. This tendency to hide internal needs may, in one’s youth, assist in avoiding difficult situations or even surviving difficult environments – but the habit later becomes a powerful deterrent to a successful partnership.

Seeking internal guidance and developing an image of your self that coordinates all of the necessary components of your being into a congruent and coherent whole is the first step.

Seek first to know thyself; this suggestion is centered in the understanding that through self-knowledge you can attain your highest goals easily and happily. Once you have an understanding of who you are you can then begin to connect with another in partnership. When you begin the connection process you need to have a certain knowledge of yourself and then you can focus your attention on understanding the other. Through this investigative process you develop the connecting points of your relationship. The better developed your hearing and listening skills, the more facile your capacity to develop relationships.

When beginning a self-discovery, first be willing to accept yourself precisely where you are – it is only through this acceptance that you will have the strength, understanding, and compassion to love yourself. And through love you can then determine if you have things you would like to change in yourself. Self knowing is a starting place for self-development, and relationship development.

One common problem that happens with hearing in relationship is that people get into a habit of hearing what has been said in the past or hearing with a historical negative energy – so that they aren’t actually listening but rather already preparing a defense to what they think they heard.

You may be able to discern this is happening if you are surprised by your partner’s response – for example you say something innocuous and they respond by yelling or with a very negative attitude – using your listening skills you hear the dissonance between what you meant and what was heard by your partner - before mounting your own defensive action I suggest you first ask this question” what did you hear me say?” This will get you and your partner refocused into the present so you can communicate more clearly. And then you can each listen to each other more fully, respectfully and lovingly.

This is true for love and work relationships.

Listening and speaking in a thorough manner when developing the expectations in any relationship will assist both parties in getting what they truly want and connecting more deeply.

This of course is the basic description of mindfulness. Discovering another’s paradigm as well as your own and then shifting these to see the connecting threads is the place of true intimacy, love, and relationship.

This requires attention to subtlety without judgment and with a focus on connection and clarity with acceptance, compassion, and dispassionate observation. It requires hearing and listening both – hearing being that component of noticing when something is off, changes in another’s tone, and tenor – and listening being that component of content, meaning, and feeling that we need to listen to from within us and from the perspective the other.

When I am hearing another I feel their meaning from within me and when I am listening I am aware of not just what I perceive but their perspective as well.

Hearing and Listening to another is the ultimate gift of care – it reveals visibility. From this deep connecting point many negotiation paths are available for relationship.

This is especially true because our world is one of language and verbal, cognitive symbols so that being heard directly relates to being seen and therefore being real. It is why in the reverse many are drawn to do things against their nature through words that drag them away from their true center.

By focusing our attention on truly listening and hearing the true meaning and perspective of another we can develop powerful and sustaining relationships as well as avoid those that seem good on the surface but are without sustenance underneath.

Listening and hearing are fundamental tools in relationship.

May your true spirit be heard wherever you go. With the tone of love and light, Beth.

April 26, 2012
by instinctivehealthparenting4u 3 Comments

My experience with inner sight

Hello and Welcome! I thought it might be useful to write about what happens when I receive information from source that I have no basis to know – some people call this channeling, others call it psychic, Jungians think of it as connecting with the collective unconscious – it is a type of inner sight.

For me this experience has been like breathing – an internal see-knowing that is sometimes accompanied with language and verbal information about others with whom I am in relationship or have an important connection. I say it is like breathing because it is something that requires no direct attention – we breathe without focus on our breathing, unless in meditation or directed to do something different with our breath. So for me it is the same I breathe, I know or I see-know.

This has happened throughout my life – knowing information about others, often before or without the other speaking the information to me. It has served me extraordinarily well as a therapist and acupuncturist – as I am able to have access to more information when assisting in another’s healing process. It has been problematic with friends and relationships as I have found that sometimes I am privy to information hidden from that person by himself or herself and so the response to my identification and connection with it can be… less than positive. I have had to learn to manage this “gift” of inner sight.

And in learning to manage it I have also developed my skills at accessing the information in a directed way – a dear friend of mine, Betsy-Morgan Coffman, has assisted me in developing this more direct contact so that I may have a sense of control. I am cautious to use the term control, as it has a negative connotation to it. I use it here because for much of my life the information that I received I had no control over at all – it would present itself at the most inopportune times and sometimes when either I really did not want to know the information or the other did not want me to know the information. I felt more accosted by this gift than grateful. And this continues to happen now. However through focused development I have also learned to access this inner sight at the request of others. And this has increased my positive, grateful, relationship with my gift.

When the information comes it is a see-knowing; a picture with words and energy imprint; it is like a flashback of information that is multi-level but has no personal charge. Let me give an example: When I review my living room in my mind’s eye I see each piece of furniture or knickknack and each has a charge of personal story to it as well as a picture of placement and form in space. When I receive the information it is a similar thing in that there is a picture, placement and story including identified emotions but I do not actually feel the charge of the emotion of the story. This difference, this lack of personal emotional charge, cues me to know I am receiving information about another’s experience rather than a remnant from my own life.

When I experience information about something that is currently happening physically with someone then I actually feel it in my body but it is as if I am a mirror.. so if I feel it on my right side it is in the person’s left and if I feel it in an organ then this is generally that organ. And over time I have developed an understanding of how the pain feels relates to the kind of disorder with which the person is dealing – cancer for example has a very distinctive quality. Obviously I have to be able to distinguish between my own pain and that which I am receiving through inner sight so I need to have a clear picture of what is me and what is other.

When I was a young person, I did not know what was me and what was other. I had a very confusing painful childhood; my way through was to learn to clear the pain and as I cleared it through my self then I cleared it through the significant other. I believe my faith and connection to source was invaluable in saving me from insanity, or rather directing me toward mindfulness, compassion, lovingkindness and healing. It did however take a while to understand. In my twenties as a counselor I learned to simply trust the sight, act from the knowing and not directly share how I knew – not with those I was helping nor my supervisors. In my thirties I began to get assistance with developing my gift and over the last few years I have begun to openly share my experience and offer my assistance directly.

I have written poems describing the experience. It has helped me to define how to see through the multi-level inner layers of sight.

I feel at peace now with it and am grateful for this gift.

I share this in hopes that in reading this you may feel empowered to not cover over your true self out of fear or harm or ridicule or simply out of a lack of confidence and may be supported by these words, to reveal yourself to those you truly love and stand in the center of your true self.

We each have amazing gifts, unique and empowering. If you allow yourself to act from your heart center and be guided by your internal sensory guidance system you can transform obstructive, negative situations and create the life you want.

Embrace your true and full self; it may take a shift in perspective, it may take a willingness to accept yourself at a level you have not allowed before… your ability to accept yourself and treat yourself with love is directly related to your capacity to receive love…

in peace and joy, love and light, Beth

InstinctiveHealthParenting4u's Blog

How to be balanced and mindful in parenting and living. Access and use your personal sensory guidance system to increase your success and health.

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