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12 step program applied to parenting

instinctivehealthparenting4u:

The semester is coming into midterm –> to help your kids get through tests and test anxiety check out these tips…
And by the way these are super efficient at helping those of us adults that are facing project deadlines and evaluations… check it out! It’s concise and pithy! in love and light, bg

Originally posted on InstinctiveHealthParenting4U :

Hello and Welcome!

When you feel like a failure as a parent, or have a challenging parenting situation,

apply the 12 step program 

To shift your defeat, or discouragement to courage and healing:

1.  admit you are not perfect.

2.  recognize you are powerless to be perfect at all times with every child

3.  connect with a higher power and engage that sense of spirituality to support you.

4.  honestly reflect and identify the mistakes and flaws you bring to parenting.

5.  humbly admit to your spiritual support, partner, loyal friend – your imperfection and reaffirm your commitment to do your best.

6./7.  Reaffirm your trust in yourself and your team; Be willing and ready to shift out of the habits that do not serve you and embrace more effective styles of parenting.

8/9/10.  identify injuries or mistakes you have made; say you are sorry to your kids for these…

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money grows on trees…

I wanted to share a positive message about how the universe can and does respond to intention and attention.

My daughter wanted to go to the St James Tearoom.
It’s a fancy luncheon place that serves old-fashioned tea sandwiches dressed in cream cheese, cucumbers and flowers, with biscuits and clotted cream.
It is one of her favorite things to do.
She wanted to go with her dad and he rescheduled his afternoon patients just to take her.

He knows how fast children grow up. he remembers the day his son preferred the company of his friends to him, and he just wasn’t ready for that yet with this one…not yet.

Granted we have been lucky, our son stayed close by through college to really eek out the last bits of play with my husband and me. But it is still hard to let go. To see them grow. To watch them do precisely what we are teaching them to do — become their best self and have full and happy adventures in far away places…

It was a beautiful afternoon, a slight breeze in the air. As they were getting out of the car my daughter noticed something in the drain by the curb…she ran over to it and with her most precious smile presented to her dad a hundred dollar bill.

She was delighted. He was dumbfounded.

She had been saving for something special. And now she had found a hundred dollar bill. She felt very lucky. She was. She had a lovely tea and enjoyed all the festivities. When their time was up she took home her uneaten desserts and her special find.

The power of this story is exemplified in her simple belief that the world will provide that which she needs, without question.

Esther Hicks/Abraham encourage each of us to simply ‘ask and it is given'(Hicks, 2004). The Law of Attraction as she calls the energetic law of the universe referencing that what you attend to, what you put your energy into is what you will receive.  When you find yourself stuck it is a result of you simultaneously putting energy into releasing  something that no longer has value while also holding to it.  You allow fear to have a voice as loud as faith.  When this happens the energy of both are sent your way and your resulting experience is a lack of movement, or no change.

I see this often when I work with couples.  Each party is holding to resentments, or habits, or fears while also saying he or she desires to release it and move forward.  They find themselves in the same argument.  They reflect and trigger each other’s fear and reactivity.  This is a waste of energy.  Not simply a waste of energy in the argument but also a waste of the use of your attention and intention the pathway to focus energy toward the creation of your desire.

Each of you reading this can have the same experience of money simply showing up in your life (growing on trees, ready for you to pluck like fruit and receive).

Here are the simple steps to make it so:

  • Take a breath, exhale and clear your mind.
  • Visualize what you desire.
  • Hold the visualization clear in your heart and mind for 30 seconds free of negativity or attachment to the process (reasons it cannot happen or ways it should happen or how you will feel hurt if it doesn’t happen).
  • Take a deep breath and as you exhale release your desire as you would a butterfly.
  • Write down what you saw and desire onto a piece of paper and put it in a box you keep near your bed while you sleep.
  • You may do this as often as you like.
  • When you gaze upon the box say a prayer that all that is good will come to you.

To strengthen the power of this process

  • Live your life with an open heart and a mindful attitude.  Keep negative beliefs out of your daily thought patterns.
  • Consciously release thoughts and habit patterns that do not serve you.
  • Forgive.
  • Be compassionate toward yourself and others.
  • Be mindful: When you are struggling, look at the problem within the context of that which is good in our life.

In these difficult times I find myself and others forgetting the power in prayer.  The power of faith and knowing.  The power of clear intention and attention.  I like to remind myself and those I love that the universe is working for me, I just have to get out of the way and let the good I have created flow to me.  I wish the absolute best to you.  in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ON

If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg


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gratitude as a form of cleansing

gratitude can be used as a form of cleansing

When you want to feel a shift in your relationship I suggest you shift your perspective.  Rather then focusing on what isn’t working, focus on what is truly positive about the relationship.

When you are upset with your partner and you feel hurt or angry, your mind starts to produce examples of what a horrible person your partner has been.  Pretty soon you are feeling like you are in a truly terrible relationship.

To create the space to have a better more mutually satisfying relationship you can try these few steps.

  • You do not have to ignore the negative thing that happened but you can shift your attention to the whole.
  • place your concern or displeasure aside and focus on the whole of the relationship
  • look at what is working,observe the ways your partner is there for you
  • Pay attention to what creates the negativity and see if you can shift your energy, positively.
  • Often the result is that you can feel happier, more secure, and then go to your partner and kindly, compassionately discuss the event and really find some solutions.

Energy flows through attention and intention.

Mindfulness can assist you in shifting the flow of energy from negative to positive.

It’s like a feedback loop of energy, if you feel bad and you focus on negativity, you actually feel worse rather than better.

One of the fastest ways to see what is working in your life and really uplevel your personal consciousness is to identify things for which you feel grateful.

This attitude of gratitude shifts your inner sense of security, from insecurity to secure.  It allows you to make choices from a centered, holistic place.  It aligns your sense of empowerment, courage, strength, and spiritual openness.

It actually creates the space for you to shift negative situations into positive ones because you will feel more empowered and you can actually see the problem within the context of the greater whole.

You operate more easily, honestly and more in your best interests from a secure, happy, compassionate place.

Any time you are faced with a difficult situation,

  • take an inner review of how you feel in the now, without going into the drama or trauma you are experiencing…
  • Consider how you feel toward yourself, your life, your relationships..From 1-10, 1 being joyful and secure and 10 being fearful, depressed, or in despair.
  • Okay, now write down where you are on that scale and put an emotionally descriptive word by it.

Great.

  • Now, write down 5 things for which you are grateful.
  • These can be five things about that person with whom you may be experiencing a sense of displeasure,
  • OR just five things,
  • include people or personal qualities that buoy your sense of peace and strength.

Once you have written down your 5 things do a review of how you feel.

Did it change?  For most people it does change in a positive way.  If you feel better but not completely in your center write down five more.  Do this until you feel yourself shift into center.  this feeling will feel balanced.  Solid internally and yet flexible without. Usually it will take twenty points of gratitude to get you to your centered space, compassionate and whole.

It isn’t that the things that may not be working in your life start working, it’s that you have refocused your energy on the positive so that you can feel strengthened to change the things you can and accept the things you cannot change.  It is a mindfulness reset.

This is a great exercise to employ any time you start to feel down and just can’t get out of the rut of negativity.

You can practice this daily, even when you aren’t feeling down but just as a prevention tool to keep you centered.

Practice this daily.  Simply identifying what you are grateful for in your life, in your relationships, in your work, and the environment around you.  You are developing your mindfulness muscle; you are developing your capacity to see from an integrated and centered perspective. This practice increases your capacity for empathy and forgiveness.

Also, as a habit don’t focus on what isn’t working first.  Identify everything that is working in each of your relationships and then you can place the problem within the context of gratitude.  It will help you to be solution focused.  You will have greater compassion for those with whom you feel conflict and be able to own your own part of any negative situation.

And for those of you who may feel that this practice might make you accept situations that are not good for you, let me assuage your concerns.  This practice allows you to actually get out of truly negative situations as well as increase the positivity of those situations that are mutually empowering and good for you.  It is a practice in clarity and wholeness.

Note:  If you sit down to attempt this practice and you just can’t feel positive about yourself, or your partner, or your situation.. try reseting through toning (sound), and smells.  Energy has a lightly substantial quality to it – so if you just had a fight or just had the same fight for the hundredth time you may need to clear the air.

You can do this with sound, ring a bell, or chime a toning bowl to clear your physical environment.  Or simply tone with your voice the vowel sounds, eh, ee, ah, O, oo, several times over with increasing breath.  This will center you. sound healing shifts the vibration, elevates consciousness May 6, 2014

For a shift through smell you may use essential oil sprays of any citrus for anger and depression.  Or rose geranium for apathy or despair. Or clove, lavender, or pine to create a sense of serenity and forgiveness.

Salt has the capacity to suck up negative energy, so you may throw a little salt on the ground to help get the space to neutral.  And if you feel that the negative energy is still on you, try washing your hands with a little grapefruit wash or a dab of baking soda.

Once you feel that sense of calm,  resume the practice of focusing on what is working in your relationship first, before you put your attention to solving the problem.

Cleansing is the most important habit for health.  It helps to keep your homes, environment, bodies, thoughts, and spirit free of toxins.  It helps to unclog stagnation and release the garbage that holds you back from living happy, mutually satisfying constantly elevating lives. You can think of the attitude of gratitude as a way to recycle your habitual thinking into new thinking that derives from that centered space within you to give life to your relationships, your evolving self and your environment. in love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris.com. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS. Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ON

If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg


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Mindfulness more useful in Parenting – Recent Canadian 20 year study identifies strong relationship between spanking and aggressive behavior

instinctivehealthparenting4u:

Think GUIDE
To help you change your attitude and behavior in disciplining your child, Shift your perspective of discipline from punishment to guidance..it will help you focus your energy to model the kind of behavior you want for your child and help you turn your child’s NO to yes and off to ON.

  • Use this mnemonic (group of letters) to help you: GUIDE, 5 simple steps.

    Get in sync with your child, pay attention to the cues that s/he is starting to have trouble so that you can avert a problem before it happens.  Use the stop, look, and listen method to discern what may be causing the aggressivity, or defiance.  Is your child hungry, tired, stressed, having difficulty with transitions, in daycare or school?

  • Understand, use compassion and mindfulness – especially in recognizing child development stages and temperament issues and how defiance and resistance are specific ways that children communicate with behavior what they don’t have words for. You can find out more though Ames and Ilg’s books on various developmental stages or through my book (addresses creating resilience, inner security, and self-control, power through the developmental stages, will and willfulness, how to reset once things have gone awry..)

  • Identify, intervene, invert: use your cognitive skills to determine what is contributing to your child’s defiant and negative behavior – then you can determine the best way to respond to teach your child about societal rules while helping develop inner strength, empowerment, and security.

  • Discipline: use discernment, logical and natural consequences to help your child regain internal control…focus on developing a link between behavior and consequences so that your child can develop an internal locus of control rather than an external boundary. Remember if you can’t control your behavior and have to hit out of anger then you are actually modeling reactivity, aggressivity and a lack of inner control.

  • Energy release: especially with aggressive and hyperactive children, children need to have a way to release energy rather than hit, act-out or hurt others out of reactivity.

You can find out more through my book, Turning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness (Gineris, 2011). For more about the negative effects of physical discipline read this reblog, as always in love and light, bg

Originally posted on InstinctiveHealthParenting4U :

Hello

There has been a lot of research regarding the effects of disciplining children with physical punishment and spanking.  These studies have been conducted since 1990 and have consistently indicated negative results for this style of discipline especially an increase in aggressive and antisocial behavior on the part of the spanked child, (Durrant & Ensom, 2012).

Proponents of spanking as a form of discipline argue against this relationship  indicating that the children who need to be spanked or physically punished are already more aggressive and so this explains the connection between increased aggression in children who are spanked.

This recent study in the  Canadian Medical Association Journal spanning over twenty years controlled for this issue precisely and addressed the issue of causality.  The study followed children who were physically punished as a form of discipline and children who were not.

The study shows that children who are physically punished…

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Social policy to elevate consciousness: The Ray Rice lesson

In my blog, http://instinctivehealthmedicine.com/2014/03/13/social-policy-unintended-consequences-and-how-wolves-create-rivers/ I discuss several important social policy issues that have resulted in unintended consequences and that bias is one of the biggest deterrents to getting it right when creating social policy.

Bias is difficult to see because it creates a blind spot for the gazer.

Social policy planners have bias, the question is always: is their bias right or is it missing an important detail?

A more useful application of the sociological information about power and community is to create a space wherein the participant can sort through the answer though mindfulness and critical thinking.  

Educating students on how to think, how to use their brains to think through a problem,

deduction rather than just come up with the answer the professor determines true, in a Sherlock Holmsian style of clarity and mindfulness would allow for continued consciousness elevation for the entire community of human beings, and ultimately the planet.

  • When you are looking at a social issue use a multi-layer lens.  This is to say, look at it from the perspective of what has created the problem…there will be underlying sociological archetypes that are driving the situation.  Usually it will require you make serious efforts to understand your own bias, the driver of your bias, and the competing paradigms underlying the social issue.

These competing paradigms are usually a conflict between group and individual rights and a change in the societal mores and norms that are shifting.

The Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 and the Child Abuse Act of 1974,2010 seem to have fared better than the above examples.

The Indian Child Welfare Act (1978) was originally set in place in response to several things, the high incidence of children leaving the reservations and being raised in non-Indian homes which led to a high incidence of depression and suicide as the children reached adolescence (far greater than those children adopted who were from non-indian families).

This appeared to be a cultural issue as well as a psychosocial developmental issue.  In addition, there was concern from the Native American community that the Native American culture was being decimated by the loss of their children to carry it onward.

There were problems in dealing with how a child was identified as Indian, in that various tribes had differentpercentages of Native blood or connection to a tribal roll as ways to identify a being as Native American. As time went on it also became an issue if the child had never been a part of the Native Community (1982) especially if the parents had not actually lived in the Native Community in their own upbringing.

However, the intended consequences were met positively, due to this act the incidence of suicide by Native American children in early adolescence decreased dramatically, and far more Native American children were endowed with their cultural heritage.

Let’s look at a specific social issue in the news now. 

Ray Rice and the video exposing, his domestic violent interaction with his wife.  

  • Both parties say this is a one time event.
  • Overall, the cultural stance is to say that domestic violence is not okay…
  • Yet the reaction from the community has been to lightly or barely condemn Mr. Rice.
  • Why is this: what are the underlying social issues in play?
  • Mrs. Rice did not want the video to be in the public eye and does not want to address the violence.
  • There are individuals who blame Mrs. Rice for remaining with him.
  • There are individuals who say it is a private issue not a social policy issue.
  • Additionally, he reports that it was a result of his drinking.
  • And there are individuals who diminish this as domestic violence because she attacked him first.

First off, what I see is that from a familial and cultural perspective, his fame and the money he can make for his team (and family) outweighs the reaction of disgust for his behavior.  This is a cost/benefit ratio response from the family and team.  They are not looking at the social ramifications of dismissing it as important or how that kind of inattention leads to increased violence and solidifies the acceptance of violence.

The cultural bias that is behind these statements shows how the culture is struggling to have a strong response to domestic violence:

  • He was drinking:  so it’s not his fault. The alcohol changed his behavior and made him act the way he did.  She attacked him first:  so it’s not his fault.  Or another take on it is if she is going to hit him she elevates her position and therefore has to take being hit back.  Or it was an automatic reaction on his part that he could not stop, due to his training as an aggressive football player.
  • These two positions are supported by the community within which he lives. Drinking frees one to act in an uninhibited way without having to take any consequences.  This belief is further supported by the fact that alcoholism is actually a medical problem — but it is a social problem too.  Any substance that changes your brain can have a positive or negative effect.
  • Physical fighting has been on the rise between adolescent girls and young women…it is seen in movies, made into a spectator event – think professional fighter Ayla Ali, which shifts the onus of responsibility away from the man to not be provoked when hit by a woman.

There is inconsistency of thought regarding whether to protect and care for women and children in the culture at this time.  That is why this has become such a hot issue with such divergent responses, reactions.

This is a power issue.

Men have lost some of their power in the community through the increase in power given to women, to compete for the same positions men hold, to get higher education and to choose to not depend on men.  With the disintegration of gender roles it can feel to men as if women are getting everything and men nothing.  Even women are not consistent in their behavior and thinking in this regard.

This is a tipping point for our culture, whether to actually protect women (and children).  How to create a consistency of thought regarding healthy relationships, whether to actually discipline inappropriate behavior, and how to educate people about conscious relationships that are not based in a power-over mentality.

I am most disturbed by what I observed in the video after the punch to the face….The piece that is disturbing to me is trifold.  He showed no remorse for the fact that his fiance was lying unconscious on the floor, additionally he showed no care toward how he removed her from the elevator, leaving her legs partially over the door threshold so that she might be hit by the door as it closed…

…and then this is the part that I saw which bothered me the most and most clearly belied any of the kind attributions toward Mr Rice…just after he dragged his fiance out of the elevator, while she was unconscious, lying helpless on the floor he kicked his foot at her leg, kicking her leg… this act of kicking an unconscious person is the act of a coward, a bully; he was no longer protecting himself –his kicking an unconscious person as if she were garbage showed his true hateful nature. This indicates the worst form of domestic violence, the kind that derives from a deep lack of caring for another human being.

Not one media commentator has identified this.

I did see it and from my perspective this is a view into his true psyche and inner perspective of the world. It gives a view into his inner nature or inner consciousness.  This action is not from the alcohol.  This is not a function of self-defense. This is not a result of losing control of his temper and reacting automatically. This is cold, uncaring, with a lack of empathy or compassionate connection to the person he just kicked.  This is a violent action within a domestic relationship.

Educating individuals about the importance of managing power in relationship is a first step.

Destigmatizing the way that power gets expressed while simultaneously challenging beliefs that support power-over structures would be the first step toward changing the cultural reinforcement of domestic violence.

Ray Rice is heralded in a positive light for his aggression on the football field.  The cold, uncaring, aggressive, warrior focus that created his success is exactly what is driving the violent action in his relationship.

Applying mindfulness to how you address his action will help to define a way that will align the concerns of the community and his identified desire to change his behavior.

A social policy that does not take into account the multi-layer aspects of social behavior, the intersection of a person’s sociological Fabric of group connections, personal experiences, and location in time will create unintended consequences.

On the face of it, his behavior is violent and needs to be called out, the crisis for the community is HOW to respond to uplevel the conversation to elevate our compassionate, conscious interaction with each other in society.

This is especially true since society is telegraphing acceptable behaviors to youth.

The etiology of domestic violence is in childhood.  What the person observes in the relationships of his or her caregivers as well as what happens to him/her.  Does s/he experience compassion, or heartlessness?  Is the definition of discipline punishment or critical, conscious education of natural and logical consequences, so that s/he can develop a sense of inner strength, resilience, and overall understanding of personal and cultural reponsibility?

In this way domestic violence is driven by earlier experiences of child abuse and neglect.

Social policy must start in a consolidated, comprehensive way in both the adult relationship and parenting discipline communities because without changing both, BOTH will continue.  They may take on different terms, harassment, abuse, bullying etc. These are all forms of the misuse and misunderstanding of power in relationships.

Let us start here and now with these young men in the news who area struggling with the negative effects of their heritage and what they have perceived as valuable in their childhood experiences.

Using mindfulness in how we respond to them will set the society on the path to mindful relationship where the abuse of power is diminished. In love and light, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com. Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

front cover.me2weYou may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we Discover where you are in the Temperament and the MAAPS section. You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships. MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money, Achievement, Attachment, Power, Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth’s book No to ON.beth's book No to ON

If you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.
One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all. in love and light, bg


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We are all interconnected, change your environment: change the world

This is a facebook post from William Khaziri of Bliss River.  bliss river primal wisdom

He and David Khaziri are two truly amazing beings who have taken it upon themselves to offer to anyone interested in listening, ways to uplevel consciousness.

All the podcasts are available for download.

This is mine.

“Hey everyone, this is Will from Bliss River wanting to let everyone who has liked this page and or who knows Dr. Beth to please listen to our enlivening and powerful Podcast. Dr. Beth as you all probably know has more than just a wealth of knowledge but her character and profound intuitive wisdom teaches us effective ways that we can change for the better immediately. For example, she taught us about Cranial Sacral Therapy on the Podcast and I took action and got a treatment done with amazing results. My Vippasana meditation practice has also been dramatically improved through her teaching us the basics of meditation over the Podcast. It has been an honor Dr. Beth and please, if I may ask that everyone who enjoys the Podcast please review our iTunes page so that her message maybe recognized more by Apple through increased reviews and then found by more people on the main iTunes Podcast homepage.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/10-primal-wisdom-w-dr.-beth/id900718536?i=318750984&mt=2

I invite you to listen to these for your own edification and consciousness elevation.

Connecting with these men at Bliss River has reignited my faith in the global community.  I hope you find it equally as exciting and supportive about how we are all connected and if we focus on changing our environment we can create a ribbon of change in the larger community or even the consciousness of the planet.  Very exciting.in love and light, bg

And as always, Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries…and the elevation of consciousness.

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg

 


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Shed your old skin, Create a New YOU

As you develop through your life you emphasize and de-emphasize different aspects of who you ARE – your multi-layer-self.

Your multi-layer-self is comprised of your spiritual, emotional/cognitive, physical self.

This is especially true as you move through the decades of your life and it follows a specific course. You get the opportunity to actually grow a new skin, and develop into a fuller more balanced personality or self every ten years or so…

Each decade offers you a new perspective and it gives you a chance to incorporate what you have learned in the past in a whole new way…I think of this as discarding your outgrown old skin and growing a new skin.

In the earliest aspect of your life 0-10 years you are developing the foundation of how you see yourself:  what matters to you and how you want to be connected to those around you.

This is the beginning of your lifelong relationship with how you get what you want and how you make a place for yourself with others… this requires balance.

At first your neediness may be the focus and boundaries are set from an outside source. As you move through this decade you develop internalized boundaries that assist you in managing your needs and the expectations or wants of your group.

If you had injuries, abandonment, deficiencies in how your early environment responded to your needs then you will develop an over-developed dependence on yourself (so rigid boundaries) <the I-style of relationship in MAAPS*> or an over-dependence on others (so enmeshed boundaries) <the me-style of relationship in MAAPS*> .

When this occurs your development in the decades that follow will have a skew toward rigidity, difficulty connecting at a deep level or enmeshment (what some call co-dependence) which also results in a difficulty to connect at a deep level in relationship.

These difficulties look different in relationship but skew out from the same place…inner insecurity and imbalance.

If you had a balanced set of love and discipline in the first ten years of life you will have a basic flexibility in how you manage getting what you want and pleasing those whom you call family and friends.

This grows in depth and breadth throughout the next decades and you will find yourself having the internal strength to focus your life toward goals while simultaneously creating loving relationships.

The decade of 10 – 20 years offers a new level of managing your internal focus and boundaries.  This is biologically a time when relationship outside your family of origin begins to have greater importance. You determine what aspects of your familial groups and group constructs are in alignment with your goals and perspectives of the world and yourself.

This is where you benefit from an early life that included a sense of freedom and boundaries in balance.  When you have this in balance you are flexible in how you negotiate care of yourself and care of others. Additionally, you have a more grounded sense of your assets and limitations which supports you creating goals that are within your reach and goals that promote a sense of positivity and empowerment within you and your community.

If you have somehow skewed off into a me-style or I-style of relationship, then you have to develop inner security, empathy and boundaries.  This is the work of the decades 20-30 and for those of you who are from the 90s and 2000 generation this may incorporate the decade of 30-40.

Here a sense of spirit is good to discuss.

A loss of faith has hit a lot of the millennium generation…loss of faith in elders, in the world at large, even in the purpose of living on the planet.  This has resulted in a sense of being out of balance with the world around them.

In order to reconnect with yourself, in relationship or/and with your community you must reconnect with your sense of spirit.

Try to avoid the trap of hearing religion or god-practice for right now…

Think about the concept of Lovingkindness, embrace the true reality that we are all connected — all human communities, all life beings on the planet…even the planet itself to each of us…and the planets in our universe to our planet and us…

You can find this in reconnecting to your internal sensory guidance system..your 5 + 1 senses …your senses of seeing, tasting, feeling, smelling, hearing and intuition..these are your perfect guides to what path to take.  These are your proof in this interconnectedness and your sense of spirit.

Once you allow your sensory guidance system to chart your course then your relationships become mutually empowering and your faith returns.  By listening and responding to your 5 + 1 senses you create goals that fill you with strength, resilience and joy.  You will naturally use empathy, inner security, and boundaries to map your life.

Here you will be emphasizing both your internal needs and goals and your external group requirements with a sense of unification and faith. in love and light, bg

 

Remember you have a better chance of getting where you want to go if you have a map…in love and light, many blessings, bg

You can find out more at http://www.bethgineris.com.  Beth’s upcoming book, 6 steps to transcending conflict and elevating consciousness, due out in 2014 offers special techniques for releasing unresolved injuries..  

You may participate in seminars to learn these techniques through the bethgineris website. Beth’s groundbreaking book Turning Me to WE: The Art of Partnering with Mindfulness(2013), has some great tools about Temperament style and your personal style of partnering, as well as the insecurity Drivers MAAPS.front cover.me2we  Discover where you are in the Temperament and  the MAAPS section.  You can see how you see the world, and whether you have an attachment that is creating problems in your relationships.  MAAPS will help you to discern your insecurities and understand how and what underlies how you developed your insecurity driver (Money,  Achievement,  Attachment, Power,  Structure).

You can find ways to simply connect to yourself in a loving forgiving way through theTurning No to ON: The Art of Parenting with Mindfulness Book (2011). beth's book No to ONIf you want to change your life, see how you can bring mindfulness to your parenting and relationships.

One being at a time you can elevate the way in which you treat one another and elevate the consciousness on the planet so that equality, balance, and freedom BEcome the norm for all.  in love and light, bg

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